Kickin' It (2011) s01e08 Episode Script

Man, I can't handle health class anymore.
Yeah, I took that class.
When they showed the video of the whale having a baby I almost gave birth to my lunch.
Well, grace asked me to be her health class partner.
We had to take care of an egg and pretend that it was our baby.
- How'd that work out for you? - Yo, I couldn't take the pressure.
This morning I snapped, fried up our baby and ate it.
Big news, everyone.
Big news! Thanks to a winning essay by Kim Crawford, Our school has won a concert.
From international mega pop star Ricky Weaver! Carry on.
I can't believe I won! Well, wait.
Kim, you're into Ricky Weaver? Uh, no.
- I'm not even sure who Ricky Weaver is.
- Eh.
Really, Kim? 'cause your locker e fan.
Dude.
Thanks a lot, grace.
Fine.
I love him.
J downloaded all of his music.
And now I'm gonna meet him.
Ricky! I'm beginning to think she knows who Ricky is.
Mm.
Jerry, we have health class next period.
Where's our baby? don't you get all tough with me I'm saying won't you come kick it with me? and we can have a ball, run up the wall this is how we do and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you here we go, let's start the party chop it up like it's karate everybody don't you get all tough with me I'm saying won't you come kick it with me? and we can have a ball, run up the wall this is how we do and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
Hyah! Pretty good.
Solid contact, great form.
Just try to bring your foot down a little lower.
Okay, a little too low.
Hi.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, who knows, grace? He could part his hair on the left or the right.
That's just what makes Ricky Ricky.
I can't believe because of you.
That overgelled pretty boy is coming to our school.
I think he's got a doll's head.
Jack, it's so predictable be jealous of Ricky.
Would.
What?! I'm not - I'm not jealous! - Mm-hmm.
I just don't get what the big deal is.
Yeah, I don't get a girl see in him? I have everything he does.
Really? You have talent, good looks and a private jet? Well, I have talent, good looks.
And my sister's three-speed bike.
Ooh! You guys sound like a bunch of haters.
You know, back in the day I was the lead singer in a boy band.
Mm-hmm.
What? Straight up, yo.
I was into a tight little outfit called "just us guyz.
" With a "z.
" That's what made it cool.
Check it.
uhhh hush, girl, don't tell no one else it's called a secret, so keep it to yourself secret, mm mm shhh.
.
Wow, just wow! I know what your secret was.
- You were awesome! - Yeah, man, that was great! Well, there's more where that came from.
Uh, unfortunately, It's on a cassette thstuck in my car's tape deck for five years, - But you guys wanna hear it? - Come on, let's go.
Uh, you guys go ahead.
I'm good.
Rudy, what's a cassette? I'm looking for Kim Crawford.
Uh, I know you.
Uh, you're the guy.
Uh, what is it? Ricky Weaver! What's up, Kim? Guys, it's cool.
Wait in the limo.
I thought I'd stop by and say hey before the show.
Ricky, you're you're you're You're here.
You're standing in our dojo! Uh uh, Ricky, this is, uh - Uh - - Jack.
- Jack, that's it.
- Ah, what's up? I'd like to bring you up onstage tonightou wrote, - To dance with me.
- I'm gonna I'm gonna be dancing with you.
In front of the whole school?! This is gonna make grace's head explode! Wow! Smooth.
Jack! Kim, just make sure you wear something cute.
Cute? Of course I'll wear something cute.
I'm not gonna go up there not wearing something cute.
I just gotta find something cute.
I'm gonna go to the cute store.
Am I saying out loud? Uh uh, I gotta go.
Bye, Kim.
Seriously, I will hurt you.
Serioh ha-ha-ha.
I Wii knew it was you! This day, today is a crazy day.
Can you believe it, Jack?! Ricky Weaver is right here in our mall! This is falafel Phil.
He owns the restaurant across the way.
Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky, You must come to my store Ana picture with me.
Next to my shawarma meat.
I'd love to take a picture, but really gotta get going.
- Maybe I can come back.
- Whoa, ho-ho-ho-ho whoa, wait.
Hey, what happened to you, huh? We were just having moments of good time.
And now the walls come down and I'm just a crazy meatman.
With a goat friend in the kitchen? You've got a goat in your kitchen? Uh, what? Did I say goat? No no no no, I meant microwave.
Is okay.
You go.
When you come back, I'm going to name a kabob after you "Ricky on a sticky.
" Oh, this is great one.
It is going to sell.
Even more than falafel on a waffle.
Okay.
So uh, you met Phil.
Oh man, the paparazzi showed up.
How do these guys find me? Dude, you've got a purple hummer with spinning rims.
And a license plate that says "weaver mobile.
" I'm gonna make a ru.
Later.
- There here is.
- Ricky Ricky.
Hope you don't mess up your pretty doll hair.
Okay, guys, that's enough.
Come on! Ricky, we'll tell you when it's enough.
Just come over here.
- Right there, right there.
- Over here, over here.
Hey hey, come on, guys.
Take it easy.
You heard the man.
He wants to leave.
Won't you mind your own business, punk? - You wrecked a good shot.
- Shoving? You see, I'm not a fan of the shoving.
Wow, you just took out six guys.
Seven, actually.
But who was cheeseburgers?, right? De.
Yeah, sure.
Who doesn't like cheeseburgers? I can't believe we went to San Francisco for a cheeseburger! What's the fun in having a private jet if you don't use it? Ah.
Thanks, beautiful.
How about some music? Do you like jaz? Sure.
Who doesn't like jay-z? Yo, jay-z, when you get out of the hot tub, come up here and jam with us.
Yeah, right.
Hey, beyonce, why don't you bring us up some peanuts? Forget that.
I just got in the hot tub.
My bad, b.
kickin' it with you! Kim, you gotta take this seriously, okay? Dancing in public is a big deal.
- If you mess up, you're gonna look stupid.
- Miltohe's.
Sometimes when you throw your hands in the air.
And wave 'em like you just don't care, Your pants fall down.
Fine.
Let's practice.
Cool.
I'll be Kim.
You'll be Ricky.
How about I be Kim since I alreaam Kim? Mm, my way's better, but that works too.
Okay.
Help her out, guys.
You're in the crowd, so So everybody give me some of that "I love ricky" energy.
- 'kay? - Mm-hmm.
Ricky! Impering, panting ) when the day turns cold and the skies are gray I'll always be there I'll always be there when you walk alone on day Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! - What'd you call that? - Uh, dancing.
Uh uh uh uh uh uh.
That was not dancing.
That was a crime against dancing.
For your information, when I dance, People stop and stare.
Oh, really? Do they look like this? You know, We're better that that tool Ricky Weaver.
I mean, we've got the moves and I I've certainly got the looks.
You know, we could start a group and be the ones.
With the money and the girls.
Yeah, all we need is a lead singer.
Hey guys, check it out.
I found the dope gear I used to rock when I was in just us guyz.
Rudy, we want to form a boy band.
How about you join us? You've been where we want to go.
Whoa whoa whoa.
Just us guyz was the most popular act ever.
Among my family members.
Oh, and when that band broke up, it broke my heart.
I don't know if I've ever really gotten over it.
It will take a lot for me to come out of retirement.
- You can be the lead singer.
- I am in! - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh! Huh, Mr.
Weaver, I was getting a little worried.
The show starts in an hour.
I had Ernie the janitor standing by to take your place.
He's never really given up on his rock dream.
Ernie? Not gonna happen.
Hey, have a great show, Ricky.
And thanks for the cheeseburger.
Oh, and thank jay-z for signing my barf bag.
Yo, hang on, Jack.
Can I ask you something about Kim? If it's about the whole Thing, it's new to me too.
She's just so psyched that she won the essay contest.
Ah, it's not really a contest.
My record company makes me do these dumb school concerts, So I just go through the pictures.
And pick out the hottest girl.
You know what I'm saying?! W-wait, so that's why Kim won? Because she's the hottest girl? Yeah.
Why? You guys don't have a thing, do you? No.
Cool.
Because after I dance with her, I'm gonna bring her backstage, make my move on her, Then dump her.
Ricky, the ?? Team's chopper just landed on the football field.
Probably for the best, we're losing by 30 points anyway.
Ricky is a sleazebag.
I've gotta tell Kim.
Let it go, Ernie.
It's not gonna happen, okay? kickin' it with you! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the black belt boys.
- Singing their brand-new hit "love ninja.
" you snuck into my heart just like a ninja I'ma buy you Sushi with some "ginja" one day I'll put a ring around your "finja" you're my love ninja my samurai, you're my love ninja .
You're my love ninja my samurai, my samurai if I can't hagirl I will die.
.
Nice! We are tight, all right.
And out of sight! It's just a thing we used to say back in the day.
By "the day" do you mean the 1800s? I think we sound pretty good.
Good? Dude, we're total swag! You can't keep making up words.
And hope they catch on.
Yo, why gotta come at me with all that flidge? Now we just need a place to play.
No, have it.
Ricky Weaver's gonna launch our careers.
We're gonna open for him tonight at the school.
Clearly, we're the greatest musical act.
In the history of the world, But how are we gonna get on that stage? Security's gonna be alalalalalall over.
No.
Security won't be a problem.
You guys are not just musical artists.
You are martial artists.
Now what's the name of our song? - "love ninja"? - I can't hear you.
- "love ninja"! - And that's exactly how we're gonna take the stage Ninja style! kickin' it with you! Oh.
Kim, there you are! Wow! I've never seen you in a dress before! - Are you wearing lip gloss?! - No! Why? Does it look okay? There's something you should know about Ricky.
The contest you won was a fake.
He just looked at your picture and thought you were cute.
Ricky is not that shallow, Jack.
He seriously thought I was cute? After the concert he's gonna take you backstage, Make a move on you and then dump you.
He din every city.
I know what this is about, Jack.
You don't like Ricky, so you're making up lies about him.
To make him sound like some kind of monster.
He is a monster! A private-jet-flying, San Francisco burger-buying.
And hot-tub and doll-haired monster! Okay, that's just a big bowl of word salad! and no matter how much I chop and punch it's not as cool as kickin' it with you! you guys are gonna make the greatest entrance ever! Here's the plan when you hear me say, "give it up for the black belt boys," You jump on the ziplines, fly through the air and land on the stage.
Rudy, I have to hold my mother's hand when I cross the street, So flying through the air is the kind of thing she wanna know about.
Guys, it's a zipline.
How hard can it be? You just get on it, you know, Zip! Why aren't you zipping with us? We're 60 feet up in the air! Are you crazy?! Nos give it up for our beloved school mascot.
Whaley the whale! Yo yo yo! What's up, seaford? Are you ready to party? Security! All right, before we bring our Ricky, Put your hands together for the newest music sensation.
Singing "love ninja," Give it up for the black belt boys! you snuck into my heart just like a ninja .
Let go! Shh, black belt boys, out! Uh, okay, I don't know ífwhat thwas, But now for the person Ricky Weaver! when the day turns cold and the skies are gray I'll always be there - Excuse me.
- I'll always be there Jack, you're unbelievable! What are you doing here?! I'm not letting you up there.
Jack, I'ncing with Ricky.
What are you doing? Let go of me.
Jack, let go of me! Hey, just one second.
Let go! baby baby Kim, he's a sleazebag! Hey, great plan, Rudy! We blew our big shot.
I mean, I'm still gonna get girls, but did you ever think about Milton and Eddie? You know what, guys? This isn't my fault.
Professionals would have bounced off that wall and started singing.
The problem is you boys are soft.
That's it! I'm going solo.
- I'm going solo with you! - Yeah! Fine by me.
I'm done with you guys.
Good.
You know, it was kind of cool to be back onstage again.
I miss what we had.
I don't even remember why we broke up.
Me neither.
So many good memories.
I love you guys.
We've gotta get the band back together.
- He's right.
- We were meant to perform.
- We are a boy band! - Yeah! Did you say boy band?! I was boy band The hakmahk boys! Who could forget our hit single "baby's got the noosh"? yalla habibi, baby's got the noosh you got the noosh, baby, I got the noosh.
Kim! Kim! Have a nice flight, Ricky.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, Jack, I'm fine.
And looks like you were right.
Congratulations.
Ah, bye-bye, Ricky.
Wow, she throws pretty good for a girl.
Looks like you messed around with the wrong person.
I don't understand.
She's the first girl in 20 schools.
Who wouldn't let me kiss her.
Mm, Kim is not like the others.
On the outside she's like a cute little lamb, But on the inside she's like a vicious killer lamb.
, I'll be in Kansas tomorrow.
You should see the chick that won that contest.
It's good to be famous.
- Not always.
- What do you mean? Hold on a second.
Hey guys, he's in here.
- Ah, bye-bye, Ricky.
- Please stop.
hey! come on! Hey.
I saw the light on.
- What are you doing here? - Just a little late- night workout.
Hey uh Jack, so we're clear, You know I can take care of myself, right? Yeah, I know.
You just won the gold medal on the Ricky toss.
Thanks for having my back, Jack.
No problem.
Y-you know, I had some really expensive cheeseburgers For lunch today.
But you know what? I think the ones at circus burger are actually better.
You wanna grab one? Sure.
Milton? Milton, what's wrong with you, man? I don't know how you do that.
Are you dumb? Yo, no! I'm telling you, Phil, - You cannot be in the group anymore.
- What?! Why?! - Because you are a stage hog! - What?! Goat hairball.
Sorry.
How dare you? I don't even want to be in your group anymore, Rudy.
I'm going to form my own.
- Eddie, do you want to be in my group? - No.
- Milton? - No.
- Jerry? - No-oo.
Good news, Rudy.
I'm back in the group.
One, two, three! yalla habibi, baby got the noosh yalla habibi, baby got the noosh let's go! yalla habibi, baby got the noosh baby got the noosh, baby got thththtnoosh That's it.
yalla habibi baby got the noosh.
okay.
Yes.