Knight Squad (2018) s01e08 Episode Script

1 Hey This is weird.
Sir Gareth's never late for class.
I hope he's okay.
[NEIGHING WILDLY.]
He is definitely not okay.
Are we just gonna pretend we don't see him? This is for today's lesson, how to capture a Pegasus! The squad that gets the most lassos around me wins.
When I trample you, when I fly, be prepared for anything! [SQUAWKS.]
I can't fly.
Okay, be ready for when he comes back.
[NEIGHING.]
Oh, look, it's a Pegasus herd.
What a coincidence and/or a thing I meticulously planned.
[NEIGHING.]
[LIQUID SPLATS.]
[SPUTTERS LIQUID.]
It looks like a rainbow, but it smells like a rainbow's butt.
It's Pegasus poop.
Ha! Sage taught a herd of Pegasuses to potty on command.
And I taught them how to love.
And now, since you dummies are a little distracted, we're gonna do this.
SIR GARETH: [NEIGHING.]
[GASPING.]
Ah! [NEIGHING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ahhhhh! You have tamed the wild beast.
Kraken Squad wins.
KRAKEN SQUAD: [CHEERING.]
Unicorn Squad, comes in second.
And bringing up the rear, and smelling like it, Phoenix Squad.
Let's see where each squad stands on their road to knighthood.
That put us in last place? Sorry, guys.
That stinks.
Get it? 'Cause you smell bad.
Ha! Stink has two meanings.
I know that now.
Sir Gareth, this isn't fair.
Yeah, the only reason we lost that last challenge is because Sage covered us in Pegasus poop.
If I gave up every time I was pooped on, I wouldn't be the proud man I am today.
We're never gonna become knights, if Sage pranks us every class.
Yeah, yesterday, she magnetized our swords, and we stuck together.
Yeah, and last week, she put rubber tips on our arrows, so they bounced back at us.
I almost lost an eye.
Which would only make me more handsome.
She has no honor, Sir Gareth.
Sage breaks the knights' code like every day.
You make a valid point.
There's a pattern of behavior that is unacceptable for a knight.
I will bring her mom in for a parent/teacher conference, and let her know that Sage is being expelled.
ALL: Whoa.
Expelled? I thought Sage was just gonna have to climb to the top of the Time Out beanstalk.
Is that just a giant thing? I mean, are we sure we wanna do this? [NEIGHING.]
- [LIQUID SPLATS.]
- Ah, poop! - Yes! - Sure! Definitely! Oh, it went in my eye.
- Oh oh oh - Hey! - Oh oh - Hey! Maybe I should clean these marbles up before something bad happens.
- Whoa! - [HEAVY THUD.]
- Too late! - [GROANING.]
Ah! I think I dented my metal butt cheek.
[GRUNTS.]
Oh Oh, I have to postpone our snack shopping trip for knight school.
I have a parent/ teacher conference.
Ooh, let me do the shopping.
[SCOFFS.]
You can't do that.
For one, you're just a kid.
And? That's it.
You're just a kid.
[GRUNTING.]
Controlling the knight school snack fund is a huge responsibility.
Please, Sir Gareth? Don't make me go puppy dog on you.
Your eyes are just so big! Okay, I'll give you a chance.
In here is enough to get everything on this list.
[PURSE SNAPS CLOSED.]
I won't let you down, sir.
Oh, uh, and don't forget to get the cocoa doodles for my secret snack stash.
You have a secret snack stash? No.
And don't you touch it! Hey, kid! Do you like chicken nuggets? Only more than everything.
I have a magic chicken nugget that grows into a chicken nugget tree.
Would you like that? E-e-e-e-e-e-e-e! I'd never need to buy knight school snacks again.
I'd be Sir Gareth's hero.
Wanna be my hero? Gimme the money.
What a big, green dummy.
I woulda paid double.
[MAGIC WHOOSHING.]
[SWORDS CLANKING.]
Huzzah! Wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Huzzah was my catchphrase.
Yours is Wickety-Wickety-Warwick.
Oh, yeah, my bad, man.
Guys, let's leave before Sage's mom gets here for the parent/ teacher conference.
Too late, she's already here.
Get outta sight! Sage, who are these annoying shield jockeys? Mom, people I hate.
People I hate, Mom.
ALL: Hi.
So, I don't know what Sir Gareth called you in here for, but I didn't do it.
Mommy is going to take care of it.
Mommy always takes care of it.
Sage.
Sage's Mom.
Please, call me Saffron.
Sage always raves about the legendary Sir Gareth.
- I do? - She does.
Ah, please, step into my office.
Sage, you can wait here.
I'll be here not causing any trouble figuring out how you losers caused this meeting.
She's onto us! Hide! I knew it.
You all ratted me out! We had to, all right? Your pranks are keeping us from becoming knights, and we're pretty sure you gave Warwick Pegasus eye.
Everything looks like rainbows.
We're fed up and we can't wait for justice to be served.
How long do we have to wait for justice to be served? I don't know.
Why are they still in there? BOTH: [LAUGHING.]
Saffron, thank you for the beautiful griffon claw medallion for my eyepatch.
It suits you.
It really brings out your other eye.
- Oh! - BOTH: [LAUGHING.]
This seems like a weird way to tell Sage she's kicked out.
Sage, kicked out? [LAUGHING.]
Don't be ridiculous.
I could never kick out Saffron's daughter.
For real? I mean, of course, you wouldn't.
ONE QUESTION: why? [LAUGHING.]
Because [KISSES HAND.]
I'm in love!!! [GIDDY LAUGHTER.]
You are too much, Sir Gorgeous.
- Who's too much? - I'm too much.
- Who are you? - I'm too much.
SAFFRON: You're simply much too gorgeous! This can't be happening.
[LAUGHING.]
With my mom dating Sir Gareth, I'm gonna be untouchable.
Oh, what's the word I'm looking for? All right.
Ha! [CLAPS HANDS.]
Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Hey! Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Oh oh Hey! Oh, we will be heroes We are the Knight Squad Hey! Oh oh oh Ah ah ah ah ALL: [GRUNTING.]
This is a disaster.
We were supposed to get Sage kicked out of knight school, not give her more power than ever.
Yeah, and they can't keep their noses off of each other.
[QUIET LAUGHTER.]
PHOENIX SQUAD: [SHUDDERING.]
Oh, yes, of course.
Of course.
Attention, students.
My Saffy-Waffy hates the name Warwick.
So, anyone named Warwick will now be called Seawick.
Aw, man, I have to relabel my underwear.
Oh, yeah, Ciara, let's see what you can do in a hatchet-throwing competition against Sage.
She could win this competition with her eyes closed.
[GASPS.]
Please keep your eyes open.
Three, two I love you, Saffron.
And throw! CIARA & SAGE: [GRUNT.]
Yes! Bullseye! That was for you, Seawick.
[PALM SLAP.]
Sage wins! ALL: What? That doesn't seem fair.
But I'll take it.
[CLAPS HANDS.]
But I was closer to the middle.
True, but her mother is closest to my heart.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, Gare-Bear.
- You shouldn't have.
- Oh! Get your trophy.
If Sir Gareth keeps letting Sage win everything, we'll never become knights.
Our only hope is to break up Sir Gareth and Saffron.
And, while we're at it, maybe we get the princess together with Warwick? Who's Warwick? Oh oh oh Ah ah ah ah Come on, nugget, grow! I've got hungry knights to feed! Hi, Fizz.
Hi, dirt bucket.
Hey, Buttercup, aren't you supposed to be at knight school? Nope.
Sage's mom told Sir Gareth to give me the day off.
So, I went for a walk, then I followed a beetle, and now I'm here.
What's wrong? I planted a magic chicken nugget and it's not sprouting.
I bought a magic nugget once from an ogre named Greg.
Did yours grow? Nope, but then I bought his magic soil.
And that worked? Nopety nope.
[GIGGLING.]
I'm pretty sure the soil was just cookie crumbs.
Greg tricked me.
If Sir Gareth finds out I lost his snack money, he'll think I'm an irresponsible little kid.
[GASPS.]
Maybe you need a moustache.
People respect you when you have a moustache.
Just ask my mom.
I'm gonna go find that ogre and get my money back! Yeah! And I'll help you.
That ogre's about to see a really angry bust.
[MAGIC WHOOSHING.]
So, how are we gonna break them up? With the knight school policy manual.
Good idea.
We're gonna smack the love out of them.
Oh, look, the Phoenix Squad is here.
Mother, glare at them with me.
Sir Gareth, do you have a minute? - Do I? - No.
I do not.
Sir Gareth, your feelings for Saffron are clouding your judgment and it's against the school policy.
"RULE 12B: No instructor shall date or canoodle with a student's parents.
" Oh, no.
Our love is forbidden.
[WHISPERING.]
Right again, sweetums.
I will no longer be canoodling with the mother of a student.
You go, Gare-Bear.
That's because Sage will no longer be a student here.
You're you're kicking me out? Oh, no, I'm making you a knight.
Yes, we did it! Wait! What? You shoulda smacked 'em with the book.
Na na na na Na na na na na na na Let's not be stingy with the decorations, Phony Squad.
It's Phoenix Squad.
No one cares, Seawick.
Just make sure that everything is perfect for my daughter's knighting.
[LAUGHING.]
She's so much better than you.
She was supposed to be thrown out.
This is so not fair.
I had no idea that love could make Sir Gareth so crazy.
This isn't love.
Somehow Sage is behind this, and I'm gonna figure out how.
So, I guess she's quitting the decorating committee? Must be nice.
Stay still for your armor fitting.
Mommy went through a lot of trouble to make this happen.
No one asked you to.
Uh, uh, uh, listen to your mother, dear.
She knows what's best for our new little family.
Ooooh! Barf.
Did anybody else see that? Yeah, Sir Gareth's twirling again.
Oh, I'm in love!!! [GIDDY LAUGHTER.]
I was talking about Sage.
She sure didn't seem into being knighted.
Something's up.
Yeah, we need to snoop around and figure out what's happening with her.
Let's get out of here now.
Sir Gareth's doing some of a love buggy.
I lovey-wovey my Saffy-Waffy I lovey-wovey my Saffy-Waffy [MAGIC WHOOSHING.]
There's that greenie- meanie who ripped me off! We are not happy with your business practices, Greg! Sorry to hear that, Buttercup.
Hey, do you wanna buy a magic mop that turns into a koala bear at night? You bet I do! [GIGGLING.]
Buttercup, focus! I want my money back.
No refunds, little kid.
So, go enjoy the giant booger I painted to look like a nugget.
Fizz, he said no, after we politely asked.
There's nothing else we can do.
There's one thing.
Hey, Greg! I challenge you to a duel.
[LAUGHING.]
You can't challenge someone to a duel, unless you slap 'em with a glove.
You didn't let me finish.
[SLAPS WITH GLOVE.]
[ROARING.]
Not cool! [MAGIC WHOOSHING.]
Ciara, I need to talk to you.
But, first, what is all this madness? On my evidence board, as you can see, Sage is definitely at the center of this whole thing.
Oh, is that is that just because you put her picture in the center of the board? Maybe.
Okay, I know it may seem crazy, but I think that Sage might be just as unhappy about this as we are.
Why would you possibly think that? SAGE: Because I am just as unhappy about this as you are.
You brought Sage into our Squad Room? She's looking at my board! She knows we're onto her! Sage, tell Ciara why Sir Gareth is in love with your mom.
He isn't in love with her.
She has him under an evil spell.
Oh na na Na na na, yeah yeah yeah So, the claw medallion my mom gave to Sir Gareth is enchanted.
It makes him think he's in love with her, so, she can control him.
Wait, so, she's nose nuzzling him for you? That's a good mom.
Telling your mom to put a spell on Sir Gareth is not cool, Sage.
I had nothing to do with it.
I don't wanna be known as the girl who became a knight because her mom made it happen.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah, right.
It's true.
I wanna take down the best squad in knight school on my own.
Did you just compliment us? Yeah, I did! What are you gonna do about it? Say thank you, that's what! Why are you two yelling? BOTH: I don't know! Okay, there's gotta be some way to snap Sir Gareth out of your mom's spell.
The only way is to take the claw medallion off of his eyepatch.
I'll never be able to do that.
It's true.
Sir Gareth's a fighting machine, even though he's held together by rusty screws and bubblegum.
Sage, maybe you can't overpower Sir Gareth alone, but, together, the five of us could.
You'd work with me? I know what it's like to have a larger-than-life parent who's always sticking their nose in your business.
You do? Because every time I ask you about your family, you always just change the subject.
Speaking of which, how gross is broccoli? Can I get a 'yuck'? Yuck is right.
[MAGIC WHOOSHING.]
Okay, Fizz, he's bigger, meaner, and stronger than you.
But I can still win, right? Aw, I'm gonna miss you.
Are we doin' this or what? Yeah.
We're doin' this.
[ROARING.]
He's gonna chew me like a nugget.
Fizz, it's not too late to back out.
I can't.
If I don't get the snack money, Sir Gareth will keep thinking of me as a little kid.
So what? You are a little kid.
You're like three, right? - I'm ten.
- What? But you're right, I am a little kid.
And I can use that to my advantage.
Hey, ogre, you want some, come get some.
You asked for it.
[ROARING.]
Hey, hold still and let me pummel you.
Bring it on, you overgrown Brussels sprout.
[ROARING.]
[MARBLES SCATTERING.]
[YELPING.]
Give me my money.
[MAGIC WHOOSHING.]
[BUGLE FANFARE.]
Welcome to the knighting ceremony of Sage, daughter of Saffron, the beautiful, who is the apple of my one good eye.
[LAUGHING.]
Yes.
Yes, I'm gorgeous.
Now move it along.
Okay, remember the plan.
When Sir Gareth raises his sword to knight Sage, we lasso him like a Pegasus.
Then Sage will grab the medallion from his eyepatch.
And then we'll do a party to celebrate.
Yeah, our decorating skills shouldn't go to waste.
Not that you helped, Ciara.
Just get your lassos ready.
Ah, by the power invested in me by the King of Astoria, I dub thee Sage, Knight of Oh! What? I'm sorry, Sir Gareth, this is for your own good.
SIR GARETH: [GROANING.]
Don't let them ruin my baby's big day, Sir Cuddly.
SIR GARETH: [GASPING, GRUNTING.]
We've got his wrist! Our plan is working! SIR GARETH: [ROARING.]
ARC: Ahhhh! Oh! Our plan is not working.
Don't worry, I'll get his legs.
Just grab his legs! SIR GARETH: [GRUNTING.]
Sage, we've got him! Get the medallion! - On it.
- What? You're part of this? I'm making all of your dreams come true.
I don't want you to.
Okay, this ceremony is over.
Sage, hurry up! He's starting to chew through the rope! [GNAWING.]
You really think you know better than Mommy? Yes.
I wanna earn knighthood for myself.
It'll mean more when I beat these dummies.
Hey, we're trying to help you.
SIR GARETH: [STRAINING.]
Say goodbye to your Saffy-Waffy.
SIR GARETH: No-o-o-o-o! And to conclude, Sage is expelled.
Sweet mother of dragons, what's happening? Saffron was using her medallion to make you love her, so she could control you.
You were a super-cute couple.
How dare you use a spell to make me fall in love with you when I would date you in a heartbeat.
And still would, if that's something you can see in the future with me.
- Pass.
- Okay.
I nuzzled that man's nose for you.
Mom, that was your bad choice.
I just can't with you right now.
[HEAVY SIGH.]
[MAGIC WHOOSHING.]
So, Sage's mom is a bat.
I told you she wasn't right.
She has a medallion that turns her into a bat.
She earned that right.
Sage, I'm afraid I still have to expel you for violating the knights' code.
Actually, Sir Gareth the Phoenix Squad would like to withdraw the complaint.
We want Sage to stay.
Yeah, she actually helped us save you.
Sage could have easily let her mom make her a knight, but she wanted to earn it on her own.
That's pretty honorable.
Those do sound like the actions of a knight.
Sage can stay.
PHOENIX SQUAD: Yes! Wow, that felt weird.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I hope you're not expecting a thank you.
[WHISPERING.]
Thank you.
[WHISPERING.]
You're welcome.
Well, now that that's over, you're still in last place.
Yeah, well, last place is a blast place.
That makes absolutely no sense.
You make absolutely no sense.
SAGE: Wanna know what really makes no sense? CIARA: Oh, please tell me.
Now this feels right.