Liv and Maddie (2013) s01e08 Episode Script

Hello, father.
How did you know I was coming? Oh, it's a new app.
It's called pinpoint your parents.
It comes in handy when they work at your school.
Oh, by the way! Mom is in the ladies room.
Wait, what are you doing here after school? As a matter of fact, Dad, I'm signing up for a team.
You're signing up for a sports team?! Oh, I thought this day would never come! And it hasn't.
I'm signing up for the Brain Olympics.
It's a statewide science competition this Saturday.
Ridgewood is hosting, so it is crucial that we represent.
We're gonna get our "neuron".
I've always fantasized about competing in the Brain Olympics.
But to win, I had to build my dream team.
I was Kobe looking for my LeBron, who I recently learned are basketball players.
So I fired back, "sure, dude, your computer has just as much ram as mine does" "When the power's off!" What? Artie, I told you to come alone.
Funny how I didn't have to tell you the same thing.
Burn! I'm really sorry.
What did you say? I couldn't hear you over the deafening sound of how epic I am.
Boo! Write that down.
That was good.
- What do you want, Rooney? - Two words Brain Olympics.
Leave us.
I'm building a dream team.
I want to combine my expertise in robotics and tasty snacks.
And yours in aerodynamics and speedy bathroom breaks.
We could form An uneasy alliance, carefully knit together for our greater glory.
Exactly.
You, me and a third teammate who complements but doesn't get in the way.
We will completely dominate.
- I'm in.
- Spit shake? - Ugh.
- So bad.
Yeah, why'd we do that? Better in stereo.
B b better in stereo.
- I'm up with the sunshine.
- Let's go.
- I lace up my high tops.
- Oh no.
- Slam dunk.
- Ready or not.
Yeah, show me what you got.
- I'm under the spotlight.
- Holler.
I dare you, come on and follow.
You dance to your own beat.
I'll sing the melody.
When you say yea-ah-ah.
I say no-oh-oh.
When you say stop.
All I want to do is go, go, go.
You, you, the other half of me, me.
The half I'll never be.
The half that drives me crazy.
You, you, the better half of me, me.
The half I'll always need.
But we both know.
We're better in stereo So you're really having this yard sale.
Yeah, if I want to go to Montreal with the French Club, I have to raise $400.
Most of this stuff is all junk anyway.
The French Club trip to Montreal is the only overnight trip that a sophomore can go on.
Berets, baguettes and my parents are in a different country.
"Bam-quoi".
Your first scooter?! This is a treasure! Sell lemonade, not your childhood.
Mom thinks she's sentimental, but the truth is she's a pack rat.
Ooh! What's in here? It's, uh Every single toothbrush that has ever touched a Rooney mouth.
No, Maddie, you can't sell this.
I've had Isis since my first apartment.
It was just her and me against the world.
Still is, right, Isis? Yes, it is.
Joey, the whole entire school is buzzing about you and your Brain Olympics team.
- They are? - No.
Oh.
I heard you practicing your victory speech in the bathroom.
"Dear fellow Brain Olympians, a long time ago in a galaxy far" We get it, we get it! So do you have a third team member yet? Oh no, not yet.
But we don't have to turn the roster in till tomorrow.
Well, I have the perfect teammate for you.
Me.
You? Yeah.
I mean it's the perfect opportunity for me to change my image.
My character's name on "Sing It Loud!" Was Stephanie Einstein and after four years of being on television and saying things like "I loved the surprise ending of 'Titanic'".
People think I'm dumb in real life, but I'm not.
I mean, I'm no Einstein, but I'm definitely no Stephanie Einstein.
I mean I just want to be seen as more than a cute, adorable, stylish, talented bombshell.
Let me get this straight; You want to go from chic to geek.
And pull a reverse ugly duckling.
Yeah.
Liv, not even a real duck would do that.
Well, I just want to prove to people that I can nerd out.
I said geek, not nerd.
The fact that you don't know the difference means that you are neither.
Liv is not smart enough for the Brain Olympics.
I know that's harsh, but I am a scientist and I only deal in facts.
Sorry, Liv, the dream team is for geeks only.
Consider my rejection a compliment.
Ooh, sign up for the Brain Olympics' dream team.
Only one spot left.
Free pretzel if you sign up.
Geeks usually love pretzels.
Why won't anyone sign up? I don't know, but we only have five minutes to get a third member and turn in our team roster to the Science Department.
And how long you gonna wave that pretzel in my grill without giving me some? Oh sorry.
Where have all the geeks gone? I scared them off.
To make sure no brainiac took my spot in Joey and Artie's team.
I spent the day blasting holes in their geek cred.
Okay, I asked my brother Joey if he prefers "Star Wars" or "Star Trek".
He said, "what's the difference?" Huh! Did you know that Artie doesn't believe in time travel? Huh! He's all "Doctor Who?" What? Okay, you didn't hear this from me.
But I saw Joey and Artie in the gym Lifting weights.
Oh hey, smarties! How's the dream team coming? It's not, we've got no one and time is running out.
Oh, where are my manners? Hey, girl.
Ahem! Well, my offer to be the third brain still stands.
Here I go, an available brain, walking away.
E=mc-squared and other smart stuff.
Liv, wait! Joey, I am not missing out on Brain Olympics, we need that third member.
We can't win with her.
I'd rather just sign up whoever walks by next.
Hi, Joey.
Did you get my invitation to be sketched by my art class? I promise this time it's a real thing.
Liv, you're in! - Yaysies! - Just sign here.
Just please don't dot your "I" with a smiley face.
Too latesies! Excuse me, Willow.
I need to get this down to the Science Department, ugh.
I can get this to the office faster than you.
Great, let's get to art class! Oh, you can't buy that.
You can't buy that! Run along.
Whew, that was close.
Hey, honey, look what I just found in the garage.
Your scary toilet cat, Maddie's pink scooter and a whole bunch of toothbrushes.
Is this the same box I found in our shower earlier? Yes.
You know, it's already sold.
A lady walking her dog had to run home and get some cash, so she asked me to store it.
I'll take this.
There was no lady.
There was no dog.
There was just me, my precious things and my husband! Who needs to keep his big hairy nose out of my business.
Oh, thank you so much.
I'll put it someplace safe.
Thank you so much for helping out, Willow.
We are gonna have a blast in Montreal.
Oui oui, Maddie.
Hey, Dad, will you put this on the table for me? Oh yeah, sure.
I'll put it in the Joey section.
There's a Joey section? Willow's going shopping.
Hello, folks.
This is channel welcoming you to the Ridgewood High gymnasium for The Brain Olympics! Okay, guys, huddle up.
That is what sport coaches say, right? - I don't know.
- No idea.
Okay, so it's about to get pretty crazy in here, so let's establish the proper chain of command for all brain olympic decisions.
It goes Joey, Artie, other.
Wait, why am I other? Joey, stop pushing me to the sidelines.
I'm here to show people that I'm smart.
We both know exactly why you're here, Liv.
I'm picking up the mad vibe you're throwing my way.
But for the sake of the Brain Olympics, we both need to put that on pause.
Pause! Unpause.
Your hair is bouncing and behaving.
Repause.
Forever pause.
Wait, unpause.
Thanks for the hair props.
I worked really hard.
Repause.
And the envelope please.
Always wanted to say that.
Though I thought it would be at the Academy Awards.
But we've got plenty of razzle-dazzle right here.
All right, this year's Brain Olympics challenge is Build a machine that can paint a portrait Using only materials you gather from this table.
Paint a portrait! Yay, I love painting! I did not get into the Brain Olympics to do art.
This is an outrage! I mean boo! This is an outrage.
The best picture of a face wins.
Now, just a reminder, don't go painting old Johnny Nimbus's mug.
I sold exclusive rights to my image to a Chinese noodle company.
Ni hao about that.
Oh, Maddie honey, I think you made a mistake.
There's no way you meant to sell this.
This is your first M.
V.
P.
trophy.
Mom, that's from second grade.
Literally everyone got that trophy even Liv.
Maddie, stop this madness.
I'm just telling you I think you're gonna regret selling all these irreplaceable items.
Mom, I don't care about this kind of junk like you do.
You are such a hoarder.
I am no hoarder.
I am a lover of things.
Hey, Care Bear, I just found this hidden in the shrubs out front.
Well, the lady who bought it, um, she was just looking at my roses Just give me the box.
Come on.
- Okay.
- Mom, mom! It's over.
This is where the healing begins.
Oh, I was going to heal something.
It was time for Maddie to get some schooling.
Hey, Maddie, so I was just clearing up the clutter and I came across this hunk of junk you made with Liv in the second grade.
"Sisters by chance, friends by choice," ugh.
Just so corny.
Aw, that's precious.
Did Joey help make that? Because I have I'll give you $100 right now.
So what do you think, Maddie, should we try to sell it? I mean, you're just hoarding it.
No sentimental value or anything, right? I saw what she was doing.
And two can play at that game.
That's twice as much as I got for Isis.
These uniforms are pretty sweet, huh? Ugh, I feel like a mix between Barney and a NASCAR driver.
Guys, let's focus.
We have to beat the other teams to the grab, so we need to be quick.
That means keep your eyes off all this red-hot yippy-diddy-doo.
So exciting, here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go get 'em, geeks! I've got P.
V.
C.
pipe! Liv, what are you doing? Put that down! - Only grab things that are useful.
- This is useful.
Not for the machine I have planned in my head.
What about the machine I have planned in my head? "Other" doesn't plan machines! Come on, Liv, you are just not smart enough for this.
Wood screws! I've got wood screws! Fine! If I'm not smart enough for you, then maybe I'll just build my own machine! Great, we'll do the same.
Good luck, Einstein! And time is up! If you didn't grab it, you can't use it! All right, brainiacs, you've got two hours to build a machine that will paint a portrait.
And I've got two hours to get to know the science teacher in the pantsuit.
How you doing? Another 26 bucks, Coach! Why are you wearing Joey's birthday shirt? I put the money in the box.
It's mine now.
Score! I just made an extra five bucks charging an old lady to use our bathroom.
Sweet.
We're almost at $400.
Montreal, here we come.
Hey, my mom's not looking.
Perfect time to sneak the sisters-by-chance picture back up to my room.
Where is it? - What do you mean? I sold that.
- What? Willow, that is the most important thing that I own.
But you looked right into your mom's eyes and you said to sell it.
But that's because I was trying to get her to stop being a whackadoo! Have you never had to look into the eyes of a whackadoo? Not until right now.
With seven minutes left in the competition, it looks like East Milwaukee Tech has already finished.
Look at that! If I squint and tilt my head, I can almost see a face.
Oh, and right next door, it appears Sheboygan high has finished as well.
Oh wow.
A smiley face.
I don't know about you, but that puts a smile on my face.
Boy oh Sheboygan! Hey, where are you going? Sheboygan's got this in the bag.
The slingshot will never ever work.
The dream is dead, Artie.
I wonder what your sister's building.
Besides a freeway to my heart.
Let's go check it out, if only to make ourselves feel better.
Sweet mother of Gandalf, this machine is beautiful.
Ah! It's a catapult designed to help me launch paint-filled balloons at the canvas using a pre-ordered 8x8 grid.
You really had a machine in your head.
What's all this stuff over here? Flair.
Someone was doubting me so I decided to add some bells and whistles.
This is awesome And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Thank you, but no! I just really can't figure out how to trigger the last stage.
We could use our device as a trigger.
Oh, let's team up again.
I don't know, Joey.
Are you, ahem, smart enough? Whoa! Smartie burn! Yeah, I had that one coming.
Liv, come on.
You are more than smart enough.
But let's win this thing together.
- Fine! - Yeah! Liv Rooney, the former Stephanie Einstein, now had geeks begging her to lead them to the Brain Olympics championship.
Role-reversal burn! I've been spending way too much time with these nerds.
Well, we've seen every portrait but one and Sheboygan is clearly the front runner.
With only 16 seconds left to paint their canvas, will Ridgewood High make it in time? Liv, it is now or never.
Do it.
Holy cow, Ridgewood High built a fantastic Flingy thingy That made kind of a gross mess.
Wait, that gross mess is Polly the Porcupine.
That portrait is porcu-perfect! And the Judges have spoken.
Let's all give a round of applause to this year's Brain Olympics champions Ridgewood High! - Hey, any luck finding your picture? - No.
I literally went door to door to every house in the neighborhood and no one had it.
Also you would be shocked at how many people answer the door in their underwear.
If it makes you feel any better, you earned $400 and now you get to come to Montreal with me.
How much of that 400 was you buying Joey's stuff? It's an investment in my future, Maddie.
I'm sorry I sold your picture.
It's okay.
You were just distracted by Whatever that is that you see in Joey.
Okay well, I'm gonna head out.
I gotta figure out how to get Joey's retainer to fit my mouth.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Heard you made enough money for Montreal.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's great news.
What's the matter? You were just right, mom.
You really can't put a price on memories.
My picture's gone and I'm totally regretting it.
Well, I'm very glad to hear you say that.
Because it makes this moment that much sweeter.
The picture! You have it! Wait, how? Well, I saw a lady carrying it down our driveway and I tackled her.
I really think I have a problem.
Mama also got this back.
Together forever, Isis.
Forever, Miss Karen, once I get rid of the others.
It feels good to win, doesn't it? And we are rocking these velour track suits.
Liv I really need to apologize.
I completely underestimated you and I'm s-sorry.
You are officially a geek.
Pretzel? Don't mind if I do.
Mmm.
Unpause.
So, girl, now that the Brain Olympics are over.
It's time to turn off our brains and turn on our hearts.
Ahem.
Repause, artichoke.
You and me are as likely to happen as cold fusion.
So you're saying it's theoretically possible? It is so on.
Well, Artie, the Brain Olympics are over.
And so is our alliance.
Since you clearly slept in that track suit, it is no longer cool.
It's just pajamas.
Sleepwear burn! I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you "Over the deafening sound of how epic I am".
Boom! - Hey, that's my line! - But, I make it work.
Minions ho! - Hey, Joey.
- Hey, will oh Dear.