Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s01e08 Episode Script

Smart Kids

What's Socrates doing here? I'm not leaving him.
We're in this together.
Okay.
But he's your responsibility.
- We're in.
- It's about time.
What about the main gate? I can't figure out how to zap the security system.
Bingo.
Okay, guys, let's get smart.
Main gate? Consider it zapped.
Look out, Metropolis, here we come.
Is that a pig? Of course it's a pig.
Haven't you ever seen a pig before? Not very smart, is she? Kids.
Could you turn up the volume on that? I don't think they heard you in Borneo.
Fascinating place, Borneo.
I did some work there in preserving the natural habitat of the native orangutan.
I love a well-traveled man.
- They broaden my horizons.
- Assuming that's possible.
You know, orangutans always look so wise.
Orangutans throw mud at people at the zoo, Jimmy.
- Scatter.
- What? Elvis' pet chimpanzee, Scatter.
Poor little fellow drank himself to death.
All right, let's get started.
Kent, what's up at the Governor's office? We can expect a fiscal turnaround sometime next year.
Well, that's some news.
Washington? Three more people are claiming to be the President's brother.
Well, his father was a busy man, wasn't he? Those kids are still missing from the Beckworth School.
Jimmy, come on.
We've used that as filler for the last three days.
Nothing's changed.
And what happened to your nose for news? Scandals? The usual.
Look, kids there are 12 million people in the city of Metropolis.
There is bound to be something of significance happening somewhere.
We interrupt your regular programming to bring you this special report.
Smart Kids still at large.
Authorities search for clues to Kids' whereabouts.
Meanwhile, the Kids say, "Leave us alone.
"Don't look for us.
Don't try to get us back.
Or else.
" We now rejoin our show in progress.
What I liked best about this film is the metaphorical content.
Porky, of course, is our Everyman character.
And his antagonist is Death.
- Dudley? - I agree, Amy.
Who amongst us have not felt the pangs of mortality? Yet we persevere.
I give this film my highest recommendation.
I second that.
And that about wraps it up.
Join us next time when we review that classic of post-modernist angst: Bongo's Bad Day.
Ciao.
This has been a production of The Smart Kids.
Kids? It's theoretically impossible.
- Every television set in Metropolis.
- And every channel.
Somebody's behind it and it sure isn't a couple of grade-schoolers.
What is postmodernist angst? Philip Manning, Amy Valdez, Dudley Nicholas.
Twelve, eleven, and eleven.
Three of the four kids who escaped from the Beckworth School last week.
Did somebody say something about "a nose for news"? That's good work, Jimmy.
What is this? A prank? A scam? Kids do the darnedest things.
I keep thinking I've seen her somewhere before.
Okay, it's your baby.
Give me some answers.
We must get them back.
Why are you so nervous, Dr.
Carlton? You told me there would be no risk of exposure.
I have a reputation in the scientific community.
I cannot afford Better? Yes.
It's no time for panic.
We'll have our little rug rats back in the lab soon enough.
But now the police are involved.
If they find them before we do, they'll simply return them to the school.
By hypothesis.
- But what if they talk? - They won't.
They're too smart for that.
If they do, it'll be their last taste of Mentamide 5.
Do you think that they'd risk it? No, the emotional dependence is too great.
Well, then.
Just how smart are they? You see I expected a 10% to 20% rise in IQ.
- It seems to be a great deal more.
- Marvelous.
- Don't you think? - Yes.
How long before they reach stage two? Well, that would depend upon the rate of absorption - into each of their individual systems.
- We'll need to pinpoint that data.
But that would require vivisection.
Mind you, Dr.
Carlton, you can't make chicken soup without plucking a few chickens.
- This is a total waste of time.
- What do you want? To pick up the cab and fly like Superman? In your dreams.
"The Beckworth State School, founded in 1953 "is dedicated to fulfilling the educational needs of orphaned children "who require the individual attention "and specialized instruction available in a controlled environment.
" Why brats? Because public schools can't handle them so they park them there to keep them out of trouble.
- That's sad.
- They're problem kids, Clark.
Problem kids can be solved.
The story is a waste of time because it's entirely predictable.
- How so? - A: Kids escape.
B: Kids get mixed up in something that first seems unusual but is in fact uninteresting and dull once the facts are known.
C: Kids are found and returned to school.
End of story.
This, you volunteered for.
We're walking.
How much? $6.
50.
- All these students live here full-time? - That's correct.
- Any of them ever get adopted? - At their ages, the chances are poor.
This is their home.
This escape has been very unsettling for all of us.
Did you consider the possibility that they were kidnapped or coerced to leave? Yes, we have.
The police have, too.
You see, it would explain a lot.
Is there anything else that links these particular students? They seemed unusual.
No.
Nothing.
I mean, for what it's worth, they're all very bright kids.
The infirmary stays closed when Dr.
Carlton isn't here.
Dr.
Carlton? Alfred Carlton, Staff Physician.
He gives his time to the school free of charge.
He also has a degree in clinical psychology.
He's been enormously helpful in our testing and counseling programs.
Must be busy now, with the kids being upset about their missing classmates.
Actually, no.
He wanted to let things calm down a bit before he began therapy.
Frankly, waiting seemed contraindicated to me but he's the expert.
If you all just come with me to my office I'll get you the copies of the kids' files.
Now listen to me, young lady.
I'm Inez.
What's your name? Lois Lane.
Listen carefully, Inez.
I am not a target.
I am an adult.
You cannot just go Amy's my big sister.
Amy Valdez.
She escaped.
You have to help her.
Help her how? She'll come back for me.
I know she will.
But then he'll catch her.
Who? Who will catch her? I can't say.
Listen, Inez the best thing for Amy is for her to come back and be caught.
You don't know anything.
How much is left on the credit card? - A couple of thousand.
- That's it? I thought he was the richest man in Metropolis! Everything costs money, Philip: - Supplies, equipment - I knew that TV stunt was a mistake.
- It was fun.
- It was expensive.
We had to let them know to leave us alone.
I don't think it worked.
Surveillance systems up and running.
We've got the town wired.
It's like a giant video game.
Have you tightened the lasers? - I'm waiting on components.
- Which we can't afford.
We'll come up with something.
You worry too much.
Well, someone's got to.
Look at this place.
It's a mess.
- We're kids.
- But we're Smart Kids.
We don't have to live like this.
What a grouch.
Just because you're oldest and been on the Smart Stuff longest That's another thing.
We're almost out.
You wanna go back to being dumb? We'll get more.
I'll do the job myself.
As soon as I rescue Inez.
- No way.
- I'm going, and you can't stop me.
What are you so happy about? I think we've got the money thing licked.
- Anything? - I don't even know what I'm looking for.
- What's Mentamide 5? - Never heard of it.
It's mentioned several times.
Maybe it's some kind of medication? That reminds me.
Don't you think it's strange that that school doctor would delay counseling to the kids left behind? Isn't that the sort of thing you start right away? That'd be my guess.
- We should talk to him directly.
- As soon as possible.
Inez seemed genuinely frightened.
- Poor kid.
- Yeah.
All those kids on TV seemed really smart.
Too smart.
- There's no such thing as too smart.
- Yes, there is.
Borscht.
Just because they're involved in a few stunts.
They're just kids.
They're just kids.
- Yes? - It's me, Inez.
- Inez? - From the school.
Is it past your bedtime? Inez, how did you get this number? - Information.
- I'm not listed.
I copied it off Mrs.
Powell's desk.
Isn't it past your bedtime? - I don't have a bedtime.
- All little girls have bedtimes.
Not me.
Inez, why are you calling? Amy's in trouble.
They caught her.
She came back for me.
- Who caught her? - The policemen.
Inez, Amy is better off being caught.
No, he'll get her.
- Who? - I can't say.
- One of the other kids? - No.
- One of the teachers? - Not exactly.
Dr.
Carlton? I can't say.
I'll take care of it.
It's not in the child's best interest.
Besides, legally Legally, we have here a faxed copy of authorization from Mrs.
Valdez - Amy's mother.
- Mrs.
Valdez? Mrs.
Valdez gave the child up for adoption.
She has no rights.
Just because she doesn't currently hold custody doesn't mean she has no rights.
Amy's already escaped from the school once.
Maybe this isn't the place she wants to be.
Maybe we should try something else.
Children don't know what they want, or what's right for them.
Is that your professional opinion? I'm just concerned for the child's welfare.
We all are, Dr.
Carlton.
I see no reason why Amy can't stay with Miss Lane on a temporary basis.
I'll leave word that she's to be released into your custody.
How you pulled this off, I will never Once they found Mrs.
Valdez, the rest was easy.
Her husband left when Amy was four and Inez was just a baby.
No money, no job, no family to help out.
She felt her only choice was to give up her kids.
- That's pretty tough on everyone.
- Yeah.
Now all I have to do is find out about the other missing kids.
Children don't automatically open up.
You have to earn their trust.
The day that I can't outsmart an 11-year-old is the day I hang up my press pass.
Maybe, but these are unusually bright kids.
No one even knows how they're doing this stuff.
They're bright, but not that bright.
I was a smart kid.
That doesn't mean I could outwit an entire city or hold my own with competent adults.
Some, I could.
Most, actually, but Lois, have you ever actually taken care of a child? My sister, Lucy.
If you're implying that I'm not capable of handling this juvenile you are in for a big surprise.
She will be putty in my hands.
See? You'll get all the channels now and you won't even have to pay for them.
Thank you, Amy.
I'm so pleased.
Could we just talk in a calm, rational manner? Sure.
- Because before, you were yelling.
- I was not I may have raised my voice.
Does this stuff come off? You just want me to tell you where the other kids are because you're a reporter and you think we'd make a good story.
And that's why you took me, right? Of course not.
Wrong answer.
If you and the other kids are in trouble, I can help you.
Who did this to you? - Did what? - Took you out of the school.
No one.
We're on our own, okay? And we don't need you, or any other stupid old adults butting in.
Really? Then why don't you just leave and go back to them? I'm not exactly in a position to stop you.
This is a nice place.
I like it here.
- Wrong answer.
- Okay.
I can't risk being followed back.
Besides, my sister, Inez, likes you.
She's a good judge of character.
You know, we do have something in common.
My parents are divorced, and I have a little sister, too.
You don't know anything about me or my family.
That's not true.
I talked to your mother.
She's very My mother doesn't care anything about me.
Sometimes, it's very helpful to talk to an impartial, understanding adult.
You? I would just like for us to be friends, that's all.
Amy, what's that? What are you doing? - How does this stuff - Sorry.
Can't say.
You should clean yourself up.
You're a big mess.
The streets of Metropolis are no place for unsupervised, delinquent children.
Unsupervised? So you don't believe that someone else an adult, a group of adults, is behind the escape? I didn't say that.
We simply don't have the facts.
I am a scientist, and I abhor rampant, unsubstantiated speculation.
In fact, you're a distinguished scientist.
Your work in experimental neuropsychology is world-renowned.
You've done your homework, Mr.
Kent.
That still doesn't explain why a researchist of your credentials is working as a school doctor in a place like this.
You see, I think of it as accounting.
After all, the doctor-patient relationship is the framework for all medical science.
Then why, after the breakout, didn't you think it necessary to counsel the other students immediately to help them cope with any anxiety? I made an evaluation.
I made an evaluation based upon criteria which a lay person such as yourself couldn't possibly comprehend.
That's convenient.
Delinquent children, my What a jackass.
Look what I found.
Mentamide 5.
"Found"? You mean "stole," don't you? You took advantage of a privileged interview situation to grab potentially incriminating evidence from an unsuspecting subject.
I love that! Yes.
Wait.
Thank you.
And add a nice tip for yourself.
Yes, Doctor.
What is it? Is that so? I see your point.
Perhaps you should leave town for a while.
No, of course I'm not angry with you.
You've done splendid work.
The papers are filled with accounts of their exploits.
I feel like a proud father.
Why don't you come over now? I'll have your final payment waiting.
Refused.
Over the limit.
Impossible.
I've a line of credit of $5 million dollars in that account.
Sure you do.
Would you take a check? Freeze.
Run it back.
Clark Kent.
Thank you.
This just in: Water supply returns to normal.
How did they do it? We'll never know.
Meanwhile, the Kids say again: Leave us alone.
It's a big city.
Lots more can go wrong with it.
The reign of the Smart Kids continues.
Wonderful.
Okay, so what did you find on Mentamide 5? It's an organic stew.
Amino acids, neurotransmitters, herbs, you name it.
It's so complex, not even StarLabs computers can analyze it completely.
They were able to produce a synthetic facsimile, though.
- So? - So they're testing the synthetic.
Nothing conclusive yet but it seems to stimulate cerebral hyperactivity in lab rats.
Translation, please? - They got smarter.
- A lot smarter.
These kids are on their own.
Somebody's been using them as guinea pigs.
I have a pretty good suspicion who.
Mr.
Experimental Neuropsychology.
Dr.
Carlton, please.
Lois Lane.
When? Thank you.
He took a leave of absence.
No forwarding address.
I'm going back to the labs.
Keep tabs on the testing.
I'll let you guys know.
How's Amy doing? I now get all the channels on my cable and I don't even have to pay for them.
I guess that means no progress.
She won't even talk to me.
I'm an adult so that makes me the enemy.
Think about all she's been through: Orphaned, force-fed drugs.
Do you blame her? No.
Even growing up in a normal household, it's tough being a kid.
Everybody telling you what to do all day long.
Even if you're smart enough to have better ideas yourself.
Does this bring back memories? I guess I'll give it another try.
I bet you were a cute kid.
I'm still a cute kid.
Thank you.
"2:00 p.
m.
Superman costume.
Smart Kids.
" How come you're not wearing your suit, Superman? I don't have a suit.
I'm not Superman.
Here's what we want: An F-18 Hornet Fighter Jet painted red and yellow, four mountain bikes an emerald, 10 carats at least three aqualungs, and an island.
That's all we can think of for now, Superman.
I'm not him.
I wish I was.
What makes you think that I am Superman? We saw you land.
Land? In the alley? Last night, behind the Daily Planet.
I didn't land there.
Superman did.
I was just waiting for him.
As a matter of fact, he'd been out looking for you.
He hadn't found anything, so I left and went to my office.
Why would Superman be looking for us? He's worried about you.
So am I.
Are you guys okay? Where did Superman go after you left? Down a manhole to check the sewers, to see if you were down there.
That could be true.
We don't have underground surveillance.
Well, not yet.
We'll think about it and call you back tomorrow.
- Superman doesn't bleed, does he? - I don't know.
I hope that worked.
Amy, what's wrong? I'm not so smart anymore.
I took this apart to make it work better, but then I couldn't put it back together.
- It's all right.
- I think I broke it.
It's just a dumb old thing.
It doesn't matter.
I know about Mentamide 5 and what Dr.
Carlton was doing to you and the other kids.
- It's awful.
- It made us smarter.
It made you something you're not ready to be.
We start off as kids so we can learn to be adults.
When I was a kid, I thought all adults were incredibly stupid.
I thought it was because their bodies kept growing and their brains stayed the same size, like dinosaurs.
It's just not that simple.
Do you want to know how the Smart Stuff works? Only if you're ready to tell me.
At first, you don't even notice.
Then things just get easier.
You understand everything.
You remember everything.
But if you stop taking it, you get dumb again.
Like me now.
It's just so hard to go back and forth from being smart to dumb.
That's why we escaped.
Why didn't you tell someone? Would you have believed a bunch of problem kids? Do the other kids have enough Smart Stuff to last them? They're probably running out.
What will they do? I can't say.
Can you at least tell me where they are? If they get caught, no more Smart Kids.
Would that be so bad? It's up to them.
Is it so bad for you? Not so bad.
Well, we knew precisely how many have escaped.
We knew precisely how much Mentamide 5 they had with them.
So therefore we were able to predict, with reasonable accuracy how long it would be before they came looking for a refill.
Yes, granted it would have been easier if we'd caught them sooner.
But then I'd have been denied the pleasure of watching them perform.
I must say, Doctor, you have outdone yourself.
I'm sure that with the proper time and testing we'll overcome the stage two problem.
Exactly.
Soon our young Einsteins will mount their assault on LexLabs.
There they will find Mentamide 5, and they will drink.
But, of course, it won't be Mentamide 5 but new, concentrated Mentamide 6.
And then they will be transported directly to stage two.
Don't pass Go, don't collect $200.
Yes, a real knee-slapper.
Doctor, I've arranged a little entertainment for this evening.
Nothing fancy: Wine, beautiful women, strip charades.
Perhaps you'd like to join me.
Asabi? No! - Get the cart.
- Okay.
And get the Smart Stuff.
Why Lex Luthor? If they wanted someone prominent, who better? What do you think they'll ask for? Could be anything.
If Metropolis wants Lex Luthor back in one piece, listen carefully.
First, we want Amy Valdez released from custody.
Second, we want promises in writing there will no more attempts to find us.
Third, our own island.
A nice one, with palm trees.
Fourth, 100 You have 24 hours.
What, no military jet? Oh, brother.
What is a Gooey Bear? Perry? - The test results are in.
- Tell us.
Again, this is from the synthetic they made but this stuff does boost intelligence for a while.
However, once enough residue has built up in your system there is a kind of an overload.
Say it.
Conscious cerebral activity drops to almost nothing.
It burns out your brain.
This isn't a game anymore, honey.
It's life or death.
How do I know you're telling the truth? We have the lab report.
That could be forged.
You don't know that we're telling the truth.
Not for sure.
You have to trust us.
I don't have to trust anyone.
Adults lie all the time.
Do you think we're lying now? Amy, you have to believe us.
Your friends are in danger.
You can save them.
Okay, you do what you think is right.
That's all any of us can do no matter how young, or old, or smart we are.
Just you two? Hold it right there.
Dudley, cut it out.
They're with me, okay? I have my orders.
Where's Lex Luthor? - Not so fast, lady.
- Guys, they're here to help us.
They found out that the Smart Stuff turns to poison if you keep using it.
- It's a trick.
- It's not a trick.
You guys have to stop taking Mentamide 5 right now.
But then we won't be smart anymore.
You'll still be smart.
You were always smart.
You'll just be normal.
Listen up.
These are friends of mine, and I think we should believe them.
Where's Lex Luthor? Philip's got him in the main spy center, down the hallway.
Go ahead, but be careful.
I'll keep an eye on these three.
Hi, Superman.
Even you're not fast enough to stop me from using this.
Mr.
Luthor here could end up with the IQ of a radish.
Philip, are you all right? - Did you take more Smart Stuff? - Yeah, the new and improved version.
My mind is so big.
You took Mentamide 6? - But you're still - Smart? Yes.
There's a flaw in the formula.
But I fixed it.
The other kids want to go back to being normal.
How about you? Normal is boring.
Different is worse.
I know.
Different is never quite fitting in.
Never quite blending.
Different is wishing you weren't.
You're not different, Philip, you're special.
I had no idea that Dr.
Carlton was using his research grant at LexLabs to experiment on you kids.
I'm shocked, of course.
But I take full responsibility.
Let me make it up to you you and the others.
But don't change.
Don't listen to him.
He wants to take it away from you.
I want to give.
It's the other way around.
Come with me.
I can show you.
We can see everything from here.
Okay.
Metropolis Park.
- Can I jump in here? - No! There.
Watch.
The angle's wrong.
They should run into the wind to get the lift.
Basic physics.
You'd get it right the first time.
- Every time.
- Then you've missed something.
Learning while you mature is an exciting and wonderful experience.
Why deny yourself? Because he doesn't need to get stupid again! He's got everything he needs and would ever want in his grasp right now: Power, privilege, wealth! But would he enjoy it? Who wouldn't? Someone who has moved beyond humanity into becoming something else.
Nonsense.
What do you feel, Philip? How wonderful or terrible is it, really? You are the only one who knows and you are the only one who can decide.
That I agree with, Philip.
Choose.
Back to kiddie-hood or onward to greatness? Would you go back to being a kid if you could? No, I've already been one.
I've moved on.
Someday you will, too, when it's time.
It's not easy being a kid.
No one ever said it was.
Don't do anything you'll regret.
Cherry.
You Some story, huh? Thank God Lex wasn't hurt.
Do you know he made sure all Dr.
Carlton's notes samples, everything were destroyed? He even offered to pay the charges the kids put on the credit card.
Well, Luthor deserves a lot of credit.
With the kids de-Einsteined and Dr.
Carlton turning himself into a vegetable I think the phrase that Luthor used was "overcome with remorse.
" No more Smart Stuff.
Sorry to give up foster parenthood? Sort of.
She was a handful, though.
She told me that she and Inez had a long talk with their mother.
They're thinking of arranging a visit.
And that is the end of that.
I don't know, Lois.
Something tells me we haven't seen the last of the Smart Kids.
What makes you say that? I've seen that pig before.
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