Long Way Down (2007) s01e08 Episode Script

1
Back in 2004,
my friend Charley Boorman and I
rode from London round to New York, east.
And we called the trip the Long Way Round.
We did it! New York!
It's Ewan and I living out a dream
on motorbikes.
Shortly after we got back,
we decided it was definitely something
that we wanted to do again.
We started talking about Africa.
And we're calling this trip Long Way Down.
We're gonna ride 15,000 miles
through 18 countries.
From John O'Groats,
through Europe and into Africa.
Across Libya to Egypt,
following the Nile south into the Sudan.
Crossing the equator
and over to the Skeleton Coast.
Arriving in Cape Town
85 days later.
We're gonna give these guys video cameras,
and they'll also have cameras
with microphones on their crash helmets,
so they can film as they're riding along.
There's a bit of tarmac.
Look at that!
A third motorcycle will travel with them,
and on that motorcycle will be Claudio,
a cameraman.
In addition, Russ and I will travel in
two 4x4s with Jimmy, another cameraman,
Dai, our medic, and Jim,
a cameraman who will help with security.
We'll be filming the guys
from the vehicles,
linking up with them at borders.
But otherwise,
the motorcycles will be on their own.
Got sun on my face ♪
Sleeping rough on the road ♪
I'll tell you all about it ♪
When I get home ♪
Comin' round to meet you ♪
The long way down ♪
This is Kigali, the capital of Rwanda.
- Wow.
- Kigali.
Oh, it's nice. Look,
it's just all nestled in that valley.
There's some amazing roads here.
We went to that coffee shop,
which I loved that place.
The coffee was fantastic as well.
I'd like a cup of that coffee right now.
Oh, look. Look what someone brought me.
Oh, that's nice.
I just loved it.
It was full of all these amazing people.
I'm a Tutsi, and 90% of the farmers,
the common farmers, are Hutu.
So I came here to train the farmers,
work with the farmers
and improve their livelihood,
but at the same time reconcile.
Yeah.
And my wife and I took the leap of faith,
left our corporate world
and came here, moved here.
And so you set up the coffee shop.
And so the farmers,
the actual coffee growers,
are directly benefiting from your venture?
I don't have to export it.
I don't have to import it.
I don't have to do
all the crazy, intermediary stuff.
It's just straight to them
and back from them.
Some of them had never drank
a cup of their own coffee, right?
Never drank a cup of coffee. They've never
seen people line up for their product.
They never understood what they have,
the value of what they have.
I love his story. It's unbelievable.
- Thanks.
- We'll get them to you.
- Really nice, thank you very much.
- Cheers, man.
In Rwanda, we're mindful
that a genocide happened here.
And that was 13 years ago.
But after the 13 years ago,
the Rwandese decided that, you know,
that is part of our history,
but it's not deciding our future.
I mean, look at where we are now.
Nobody would dream that this is Rwanda.
We've got a president
who is committed, who's got a vision,
and we've got peace and stability.
We wouldn't be talking about tourism
without peace and stability.
- Yeah, thank you so much. Really nice.
- Thank you for being here.
- Thank you for having us.
- You have a wedding to go to now,
- don't you? Your brother's wedding.
- Yes!
- I know, my brother's wedding.
- You've got 45 minutes.
I know!
They invited us along to the reception.
And apparently, it's quite
a traditional thing here in Rwanda
that there could be up to
1,000 people who could be there.
And so, we're going to go along
for an hour or so.
So we'll go in, shall we, Ewan?
- I don't know. Are we allowed in?
- Yeah, yeah.
Yes?
I'm still not sure they really
wanted us to come to the wedding.
We just got the invite,
and we decided to go.
So we've just been into our
We've just been into the wedding.
We crashed the wedding
- of the minister of tourism
- Yeah.
and she introduced us
to the president of Rwanda,
who is gonna have an audience
with us tomorrow about 11:00.
I've never met a president
of a country before.
Impromptu suit buying.
Dave said,
"Let's get suits for everybody."
Claudio thinks it's a bad idea.
Claudio wants to go in his bum bag
and flip-flops, you know?
Bum bag, flip-flops.
- It's actually quite a good suit.
- It is nice.
These will be my African shoes.
I can wear them back in London.
Thank you, Giselle.
You're welcome.
We're all in our new duds.
David, you look quite good actually.
That's really rather dashing.
The shoes. Did you get the
Listen. We've all had
terrible trouble with our hems, look.
Well, you put a bit of gaffer on there.
We've got tape and all sorts,
but it doesn't really work.
I just can't believe it.
This man, Paul Kagame,
has been hailed by the West as the man
who brought the genocide to an end.
A Tutsi himself, he led the guerrillas
that defeated the Hutu extremists.
I feel
you know, because you meet
a president of a country,
instantly it will be political.
We don't know anything about this guy,
and there's talk of people
who say that he's gonna go on trial
in The Hague for war crimes.
For me that's almost like stupid,
him being involved in the genocide.
That's like really stupid for me.
For us, you know,
we've been asked to go and visit him,
and he is the president of Rwanda,
and it would be why would we not go?
We live in a region
where leaders should be able
to take, sometimes,
really crucial decisions
that can be considered
as very controversial.
We've been here two days, you know?
Have no idea what people
truly think about him.
There are so many versions
of stories about the president.
I mean, had we known
that we were gonna go and meet him,
we would have done a great deal
of research beforehand.
And maybe we should've done more anyway,
you know? I don't know.
I'm happy to go and meet him,
though, I think.
The president's house was amazing.
It was very understated as well,
wasn't it?
It's quite understated
for British standards,
but it's not very understated for Rwanda.
But I suppose he is the president.
I've dared Charley to say, "Mr. President,
I love what you've done with the place."
And he said he's gonna try and do it.
Look at that view.
- Good morning. Charley, hello.
- I'm Ewan. Nice to meet you, hello.
I love what he's done
with the place, don't you?
I'm just practicing.
A round table
and the perfect way to end an argument
over there, look.
So you can have your discussions here,
board meetings,
and then if you all fall out,
there's some spears over there
to just kill each other with.
Very different from the north, you know?
Look at the landscape.
We were just in the jungle.
Now look how beautiful this is.
We're actually quite close to where
we're leaving into Tanzania tomorrow.
We're actually just
on the other side of the hills.
Look at that one, he's got very big horns.
That is an enormous horn!
I haven't had a horn that big since, oh
I have never had a horn that big.
Hello, how are you?
Nice to meet you.
- How are you, sir? Nice to meet you.
- Hi, nice to see you again.
So you came on the bikes?
- Yeah.
- Yes
Shows why we're all dusty.
When we arrived here,
it just struck us that it just seemed
so friendly, and the roads are good.
Didn't give us the excuse to say that
the roads were bad and we were late.
We had a great road.
We were still late, unfortunately.
And what inspired you many years ago?
Obviously, when you had the difficulty
because obviously you had
a huge mountain to climb.
What inspired you at the beginning
to sort of say,
"Right, we've got to do
something about this"?
For me I was
I became a refugee in Uganda
when I was three years old.
And that's where I grew up,
in a refugee camp,
for 25 years.
So, I didn't need any other reason.
That is enough.
Certainly for me,
to know how bad injustice is.
And once the injustice has affected you,
maybe you want to do something about it
and maybe you want to make a difference.
And I said, "Why do you think we had
to lose one million people in 100 days?
What happened?
Something must have gone wrong certainly."
And we discover that it is bad politics,
it is bad leadership.
And in the end,
it hasn't benefited anyone.
Yes. Once you have security,
you have stability.
And businesspeople look for stable places
where they will invest and make profits.
And that seems to be happening so far
as I know, anyway, the reconciliation.
I think there is progress
that has been made
very significantly
in the last 13 years, certainly.
They're absolutely fucking horrible,
aren't they?
Absolutely horrible,
but I just had to go for them.
- It's wonderful.
- It's just a great place.
Incredible what you've done
with the place. It's just amazing.
Also, my free time here
Look at the size of those. Sorry,
but those are big horns, aren't they?
Our cows don't get
such big horns like that.
No, that's enormous. Are they hollow?
No, actually.
Just the lower part,
but the rest is just filled up with
They must be really heavy,
don't you think?
They are quite heavy.
And that's what you drink, the milk?
These ones, yes, for our own consumption.
They're going to bring you some milk.
- Oh, great.
- Yeah.
That would be great.
You don't leave this place without taking.
The children seemed very excited
about the motorcycles.
Cheers, this looks fantastic.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for meeting us.
Thank you for making time.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
It's like natural yogurt, it's lovely.
Oh, it is. It's beautiful. Bio yogurt.
Goes with my shoes and everything.
I'm not clashing with my shoes.
A full tank takes you for how long?
This man took over a country
that was ripped apart with genocide
and has put this country on its feet.
I liked him. I think the suits
went down well.
I think that was a good move
that we went and bought the suits.
Paul seems like a good guy.
Things have certainly improved here.
But now we're off to the genocide museum
to see how things were
before he took over.
My name is Datir.
I work here to explain what happened
in this church.
There was admitted a problem of
genocide - '94.
Many Tutsis was come here to hide
in this church.
Interahamwe militias was come to
kill them.
They were using grenades.
When the person not die by grenades,
they were using machetes,
hammers, everything.
Another group way up there,
they were burnt alive.
- Oh, burnt alive?
- Yeah.
So around 5,000 people were killed
in this compound.
- Five thousand people?
- Yeah. Five.
- By machetes and hammers?
- Yeah, yeah.
- And burnt alive?
- Yeah, yeah.
So, you can see the horrors.
My God.
See, there's little skulls as well
- from little children.
- Yeah, little children.
- Oh, that's a spear.
- Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
I've never seen anything like that,
have you?
Never. And all the broken heads and
Are these all their clothes?
Devastating just to look at those, huh?
Well, it's 'cause
they were wearing them, weren't they?
There's nothing changed from them.
There's blood still on them.
Just piled everywhere.
How long did they manage
to hide here for before they were killed?
They stayed here three days.
They were killed on one day.
Well, I think you've just got
to remember that, as the president said,
that absolutely nobody won at all.
You know, the people
who did the genocide are in jail
or are refugees in other countries
'cause they can't come back.
People here who lost family
are dealing with it.
Nobody won. I mean, absolutely nobody.
That's really gruesome.
I don't understand why there's
I don't really understand.
- What?
- Why all the bones are out.
And why people haven't been buried,
and why the coffins are there.
- I don't understand.
- I don't know. I don't know.
Is it like to be
a sharp reminder of what happened?
- Yeah, it must be.
- I suppose that, right?
- I mean, that's to remind people that
- What happened.
you know, that that kind of thing
can never happen again,
- I suppose.
- Yeah.
- So they were burned in here?
- In there.
- Oh, in the house?
- Yeah.
Well, it feels very much like Rwanda
was kind of left to get on with it,
wasn't it?
Like the rest of the world
- just turned their back.
- Definitely.
And what does that feel like?
Well
There were so many other things
that were going on.
Mandela being elected
after years of apartheid
Bosnia, the World Cup
the World Football Cup in the States.
Kurt Cobain had died
one day before the genocide started.
And many other things.
Many people didn't even know
where Rwanda was on the map.
Yeah.
Clinton said
it's his biggest regret, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- He said that was his biggest regret,
was not having helped.
Terrible.
And are you Hutu or Tutsi?
At that time? I was Tutsi at that time,
but now I'm Rwandan.
Now Rwandan?
It is a very powerful place to go and see.
I mean, it knocks you sideways.
Oh, Rwanda. How fantastic.
What a great country.
I've loved the people we met.
I find that the atmosphere riding along
is very positive.
It's upward-looking
and optimistic, you know?
It's just kind of miraculous,
considering 12 and a half, 13 years ago,
you know, the worst thing
in the world happened here.
Thirty
Well, there's lots
of these taxi bikes and stuff
so they really like motorbikes here.
Uganda and Rwanda, fun people.
I had a really good time here.
Eve leaves today and is flying to Malawi,
and then we'll see her on Saturday,
so I'm kind of on a mission
to get to her, you know?
Well, it's the 9th of July,
we're just leaving Rwanda,
and we're two kilometers
from the Tanzania border.
But unfortunately
Dai has lost his passport.
What happens is,
when you check into a hotel in Africa
or in many places in Europe,
they ask to keep your passport overnight.
Somehow, we checked out
of the hotel this morning,
and there were seven passports, not eight.
Somewhere between I didn't get it back,
so somewhere between reception and
So we're waiting here at the border,
hoping that this gentleman
will let us go through,
because we don't have a stamp in
in Dai's second passport.
Each of us have a couple of passports.
There's just always something
at the borders, you know?
We've crossed through so many of them.
We've got 500 moving parts,
and they all need to be
working perfectly together,
otherwise, you know
- He won't let us through?
- No.
Well, we've got to find this passport,
because as much as that guy seemed
like he was being very cool,
as with things in Africa, you know, just
all of a sudden it changes, and he's like,
"Maybe you guys should go back
to Kigali and report it to the police."
Because he doesn't have a stamp
There's not a stamp in the passport.
Obviously, going back to Kigali
is not something we wanna do.
No, bollocks. But the passport's not
in one of the cars?
I don't think so.
No, because it was handed
over to in the hotel.
Yeah. I was gonna ask Charley,
'cause they have the same middle name,
maybe they gave him two passports.
It could've happened
to any of us, you know?
So welcome to the Long Way Down car class.
Some of the things
that we've done to the car:
one, we put the winch on,
which we've had to use several times.
Upgraded our spotlights, the bull bars.
We've upgraded the suspension
which increases the ride height
and makes it a bit more durable.
We've also put a snorkel on, which means
we can go through deeper water.
Running boards down the side.
And then, at the back, we've mounted
the two spare tires on the rear wheel.
And then you can pull these things out,
which is for the tea, coffee, food.
Pull that one out,
which is for the spares and the tools
and stuff like that
for working on the cars.
So that's a quick walk around the car.
So Dai suddenly got his stuff out
of the back of the car
and found it in his trousers.
Fucking get him! Get him!
What?
You need a good slap.
"They never gave it back to me.
They did not give it back to me."
That might be a round in Malawi, eh?
So where was it?
It was I found it in Jim's bag.
Oh, sure!
Slip it in Dave's bag,
that's what you should have done.
And then "Oh, my God,
how did it get here?"
"Passports R Us.
I've checked my pockets. Passport two.
Have you seen my passport?
I've not got it, you took it."
These are all phrases used
by Dai Jones this morning.
Excellent. We're through.
Thank you very much.
Goodbye, Rwanda. Hello, Tanzania.
Let's get the hell outta here.
There ain't nothing stopping us leaving,
but going.
Tanzania, here we are.
It's incredible, driving through Africa.
You jump from the left,
and then you cross a border
and you have to drive on the right,
and then you cross a border
and you're back on the left again.
You have to really keep your eye on it.
I like seeing the cars. They look so cool.
He's just saying this is like
a lot of business all at once.
We've got to measure it out.
They've got this five-liter can,
and they're gonna measure it out,
and then they can put it into the bikes.
We got the tea strainer for the petrol.
- You're working in the gold mines?
- No, we are digging myself.
- You're digging yourself?
- Yeah, yeah.
Are you looking for gold?
Panning for gold?
That's very pleasing to the eye, look.
Let's buy one. Come on, yeah.
'Cause it's nice, eh?
Is that 100 shillings?
- And then to Zambia.
- Thank you.
Good man.
Two guys want to buy my motorcycle.
How much have they offered for the bike?
Five million shillings,
which is a little under about $4,500.
I couldn't quite explain.
We had the help of our friend here,
who explained to them that I needed
the bike to get to Cape Town.
He says they want the phone number,
and then when the trip's over,
they can make a deal.
This is like 120 kilometers
that we've just done of tarmac,
which was very nice.
Now we start on the dirt, which will be,
I think, fine-graded dirt probably
and then tarmac at the end
for another 120 K's or something.
So, we've got our work cut out for us,
but we'll be fine.
See the nice dust?
It's gonna be like this all day
for the next three days.
So, we're all fueled up.
We're gonna head down this road
about 10 K's
and then find somewhere to camp.
I hope my sleeping bag was dry
when I put it away,
'cause it'll be a bit stinky if it wasn't.
I say, you got a bloody brew on?
So here we are,
a beautiful morning in Tanzania.
Look, the sun and the trees and the
We just had a really nice cooked breakfast
of bacon and sausage.
And we're heading off,
striking out on our own.
- Good luck today.
- Thanks, mate.
- We'll see you tomorrow.
- Yes, take care.
- Ride carefully.
- Watch the suspension on those bumps.
Yes. Remember, no interior leakage.
- No, no.
- We're coming up the rear,
and if anything goes wrong,
we'll naturally come across you.
It's been lovely this morning.
I've loved that ride. It's just gorgeous.
Quite tired, though.
The last half hour,
I've been really struggling to stay awake.
Hitting a few bumps going,
"Oh, yeah, I'm on a bike."
Cape Town or bust, you know?
I've been busting three times today.
We've had three emergency stops
for Charley today.
Charley's definitely not farting
with confidence today. Absolutely not.
On days like this, you don't fart.
Or if you do, you know, you better make
sure you have your trousers down.
Oh, Charley
Right, lunch next.
Oh, yeah, grilled chicken.
Chicken and chips.
Chicken and chips, yes!
Oh, look at that! Yeah.
Three chicken and chips,
yeah, please, and with salad.
Anyway, you know, what can you do?
I just hope he cooks it really well.
Is there like a risk of salmonella?
No, it was all cooked.
Okay. If this is my last meal ever,
I just want the world to know that
Hello. Eve, it's me. Can you hear me?
Are you in Malawi?
What, my love?
Call me back. Okay, bye.
- She's in Malawi?
- She's in Malawi.
I love it when a plan comes together.
This last sort of three weeks
has been fantastic,
since we left Ethiopia, really.
It's sort of changed,
and my confidence has come back,
and it's a good feeling.
It's a good feeling now, and I'm happy.
I need another shit.
So, Ewan, I'm gonna have to stop.
Oh, my God.
I thought I'd do a little shot of me,
of the tent going up, you know?
A little time lapse.
204.4 miles today on dirt.
It was good, and I was just riding along
and I realized it was 5:00,
and we kind of started at 8:00,
and I thought,
"Oh, sounds a bit like a normal job, that.
Let's stop and just enjoy ourselves,
you know?"
This nine-to-five business,
or eight-to-five, in our case.
Bless you.
It's nice to stop
before it's dark, isn't it?
Yeah. I really don't like those, you know,
nights when you get in
at 9:00, 10:00 at night.
It's horrible.
- Well, I mean, it's fine sometimes.
- Stay there. Wait, look. Look at me.
Look how well-lit he is.
Look how well-lit Boorman is there.
Okay, you can carry on.
Oh, my God, look at this.
Jesus, where did they come from?
- What?
- This line of ants.
- They're soldier ants, look.
- What happened there?
- Where?
- Look.
Wow, that's organization, isn't it?
Well, look, we saw that line
going across in front of Charley's tent,
and now I just noticed another line here,
coming across here,
and I didn't notice that a minute ago.
Under my bike
up here.
But then I can't work out
where they go from there.
They've surrounded us.
Did you get bitten?
Here, look, another trail.
Look, another one here.
And I wouldn't be surprised
if they're going all the way around
the back there and then crossing.
I mean, I do think
it feels like they've looped us.
Now, I'm outside the ring.
They've encircled Ewan's.
Ewan's inside the ring.
I don't know if that's good or bad.
Do you think it's me they're after?
Should I offer myself to them
as a kind of human sacrifice?
Yeah, I think you should, Ewan.
And then Claudio and I
will sleep far better.
I would.
I would offer myself
as a human sacrifice for either of you,
and certainly for both of you.
Oh, God!
No chance!
7:30
You know that great scene where
We had a great night camping
with our ants in the woods of Tanzania,
and you think, you know,
you don't know what could be in there.
There's all kinds of wild animals
that could be living in there.
We sat and had a laugh. It was nice.
Is that the ants taking my tent away?
This week we've been looking
at the African common ant.
Next week, we'll be looking
at how to avoid a hippo attack,
when you find yourself mistakenly
between the hippo and the river.
My lot seem to have gone away,
but Charley's lot have formed
a defensive barrier for themselves.
They really mean business this morning.
All the soldiers are standing up,
their big pinchers looking around,
going, "I'll kill anyone."
Look at my arm this morning.
Remember I got stung on the bike?
Wasp up the sleevage.
- Does it hurt?
- It's itchy.
There's one and there's another one there.
That's a massive one.
Yeah, I want to scratch it.
It feels really like this western road
is not used often. I like that.
I like traveling through.
We've been riding through this wood,
just this huge, big, wooded area
for days and days,
and then it got really gnarly,
the road got really difficult.
You were caught in these sort of troughs,
so you had to go through them,
and on those GS's, they're just so big
and heavy and so much stuff on them
that it kind of just plows through
rather than sort of skips through.
Tanzania's an important country.
It's the swing in the trip,
because we've got to get
to the top of Malawi to meet Eve.
Ewan's wife is joining us on this trip,
and she's been learning
how to ride a motorcycle,
and everybody's excited about seeing her.
So she's gonna meet us
at the top of the border.
I know Ewan is obviously quite keen,
that's an understatement, to get there.
So, I just wanna make sure
that he's taking care on these roads,
'cause I'm sure, right now,
he's just thinking about getting there.
Hit my nuts on the seat again.
Ow. Ow.
Of course, there are moments
where you'd wish it would stop.
'Cause after riding 11 hours off-road,
it's quite difficult.
But it's just par for the course.
You know, we just do this
and then we do it again tomorrow
and the next day and the next day.
One, two, three.
On top of all that,
Eve is now at the border.
And we ride all day tomorrow
and then get there
as soon as we can this Saturday.
We're trying to head on
about 150 miles to the national park,
where we're gonna meet
one of our fixer guys.
I hadn't seen hippos yet.
I'm so excited.
- He's looking at us. Hello.
- Hey, look at that.
Hippos.
They look so, sort of, un-dangerous,
don't they, you know?
And they kill the most humans,
more than, like, lions and stuff
you would think, wouldn't you?
Crazy.
We've just arrived
in Katavi National Park,
and I've just met up with the boys,
so we're all camping together tonight
in the middle of the national park.
And over there's a herd of elephants.
So after the brief peace
of civilization of Rwanda,
it's back to the dust
and the lack of showers
and the sweat and flies of Tanzania.
We've been riding all this day,
this hard, hard day, to get to
- this.
- This camp.
And worth every mile. Very, very happy.
This is what was driving us on,
to get to this very place.
Can I have some more?
Look at that view.
I'm not sure if it was worth every mile,
but it was certainly worth most of them.
Don't you think?
It's all weird now because we're getting
so used to being in Africa, you know?
It's been our home
for the last eight weeks,
so we're really kind of bedded in.
We belong here, in a way,
and it's a lovely feeling.
It's a lovely feeling.
There's a sense of belonging that comes
from having ridden here
that you maybe don't have
as much when you fly in.
One of the wonderful things
about around here is,
for me, it really feels like Africa.
It has a real
Listen to that, those noises.
There were so many noises last night.
And all these sort of
hippos and lions and elephant noises.
I eventually had to put my earplugs in
'cause it was so noisy.
It was just It was wonderful.
This is where I camped last night,
and that's all the other tents there.
And that's my view.
And my shower with the little pieces
of string to turn it on and off.
And the little barrel of water thing
is there, you see?
Basin, my motorbike, and
yeah, so there you go.
We're on safari!
Unlike other parks,
you're allowed to drive along,
see some stuff, get out and walk,
whereas a lot of other parks you're
not allowed to get out of the vehicle.
All the zebra and the birds
are looking at us now, okay?
I think we should get
on our bellies and crawl.
Slowly.
They're all like that.
"What do you want? What do you want?
What do you want?"
If you sit and watch a herd like this
for long enough,
you'll start to recognize
the individual families.
And the reason I say that is
that's almost certainly a family group
right there in front of us.
So that will be one stallion, some mares,
- and then their young.
- Wow.
And they stay together
as a family for life?
They stay together as a family for life.
The young females
that are born into the family,
at about two,
they come into heat for the first time,
and they adopt this certain posture
that just drives all the other males
in the neighborhood absolutely crazy.
And Dad is out there trying
to protect his daughter.
I'm starting to know
a little bit, I think,
what that male father zebra feels like.
- Yeah.
- In four or five years' time,
I'll be out there chasing off
all the young suitors as well.
And so here we are riding our bikes
through a national park,
I mean, with potentially lions
at the side of the road
and who knows what
we might come across, elephant.
That would be great.
Well, it wouldn't be necessarily great
if we came across a pride of lions
who fancy a bit of zebra motorcycle,
you know what I mean?
We leave Katavi National Park,
which has been absolutely beautiful
and then head towards Malawi, where Eve
is now waiting just over the border.
If it's like this all the way,
we'll be laughing.
Listen to us laugh now.
Stop, Charley.
It's getting quite loose now, I think.
My center stand went when I hit a rock.
It's bent right over
so it's banging against this swing arm,
which is not a good idea,
so I'm gonna take it off.
- There we go. I'll take that.
- Beautiful.
That's a pretty big bang
to bend a bolt like that.
It just sort of caught on the
absolutely the on the nose.
A little more roadside maintenance.
Always good in a documentary
about motorcycle travel.
All right, Charley, well done.
Well, team effort.
Hi, guys.
So tell us where you're from
and why you're here?
- Well, our parents are missionaries.
- Yeah.
And so we're from the States.
If you guys like, you can come
get a soda or something at our house,
- if you're interested.
- Okay.
Sure, yeah. Let's do that, yeah.
- Come to see a missionary
- Absolutely, let's do that. Okay.
This is It's called TGBI,
Tanzania Grace Bible Institute.
It's actually a college for pastors,
Tanzanian pastors.
Actually, I won't take my shoes off 'cause
they'll probably stink the house up.
It actually doesn't matter.
We're so used to it.
So I have cold water, lemonade.
I'll try lemonade, if that's okay.
I'll have one as well, actually.
I'll take a lemonade.
Cheers.
Would somebody like a bagel or a roll?
You were saying it was very difficult
because you've been out here
for so long now
that you found a sort of life here,
but when you go back,
you said that you struggled to
like things are very different.
I have a much harder time
going back to America.
The culture shock for me is much worse
because of the wealth and the waste
that we have there, you know?
There's like five kinds of spaghetti
sauce. I just want spaghetti sauce.
So, it's hard to make choices at first.
That's part of
the reverse culture shock, for sure.
Sure. I get it when I was ordering
breakfast in America, anyway,
so it's just an American thing, I think.
- You know, it's like, "I don't know."
- Fried eggs and toast, please.
Here, it's either beans and rice
or rice and beans.
That's pretty much what we eat
every lunch, is beans and rice.
That was nice.
They were saying this region
is maybe one of the poorest
of two poorest regions
in the whole country.
And, you know, they do good works here,
so good on them.
Oh, dear. This is a bit
of a fucking nightmare.
Sorry about the swearing and everything.
I was really good. I didn't swear
in front of the mission girls at all.
I said "Oh, God" once and I thought
But they let it go.
They were very kind and they let me off.
I'd just like to take this opportunity to
say that I'm having the time of my life.
This whole trip is just the best.
It came from very difficult
to being the best trip in the world,
and I'm having the time of my life.
This is awesome today.
I hate to use that word, but I'm gonna
use it anyway. Awesome!
I'm coming to you, darling.
I'm on my way to you, Eve.
We're back on tarmac.
We've got probably about two hours to go.
Tanzania was absolutely fantastic.
It was beautiful roads, tough.
We had a really good time here.
It really felt like Africa here.
It was just wonderful.
And now we're getting over
as soon as possible.
We are in the Malawian border,
and Eve is just over there somewhere.
And I kind of know how excited Ewan is.
I mean, I would be just beside myself.
Hopefully, we can get
through this smoothly.
I know. I'm just kind of more impatient
than you can possibly imagine.
- Oh, I've been waiting for hours.
- Have you?
- Well, yeah.
- Well, and days!
Well, no, days it was fine.
It was just the last hour.
The last hour?
Tanzania, Malawi.
No wife, wife.
How are you?
Good.
You know, it's funny
because when we meet again,
it's always completely
everything falls into place.
I'm nervous beforehand,
and when we meet, it's just right.
It's good to see you. Yeah, good, good.
- It makes your teeth all white.
- 'Cause I'm all orange?
- Yeah, because of the dust.
- How are you?
- Hi, Jimmy.
- Hello, Eve, how are you?
I hadn't seen Ewan for two months,
and so there was this,
like, meeting of the two of us.
And there was something else
I was really nervous about,
because I knew that's
when my journey was starting.
I've been wearing this for about a week,
just so I'd look kind of hard-core,
you know, when I arrive.
I've got all the decals
for Eve's bike as well,
so we can blood it
into the Long Way Down team.
This is the third leg of the trip.
First leg was defined by getting
to that ferry in Sudan.
And then getting here,
you know, to Malawi,
and now we gotta get to Cape Town.
- Charley.
- I've got a box of sweets.
Ewan got his wife.
You got a box of candy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, you know.
- That's life.
- Bastards.
- I'm a bit nervous.
- No, but it will be great.
I know, just that I'm shaking
from seeing everyone, and Ewan obviously,
and now I don't know if I can ride.
These are just cycling gloves,
but they'll be fine for today.
- I've got them in the hotel room.
- Yeah.
I just forgot to take them.
"Malawi to Cape Town."
I'm just so happy
to be here and riding in Africa.
When I said, "I'm gonna do it,"
I didn't really think. It just came out.
I mean, I can't pretend that
there's not a part of me that's, you know,
every time we do come up
to a flock of sheep or goats or something,
that my heart is in my mouth.
Jesus, I didn't even see that coming.
Wasn't paying any attention.
I'm supposed to be
on security guard here, you know?
Oh, Eve!
- What happened?
- What happened?
I hit sand. I don't know how to do that.
You know what the McGregors
are like with sand.
Did you see when I got blown?
- Yes, I did.
- Fuck!
I know, I know.
You got blown quite a long way, yeah.
Oh, my God,
but I had an adrenaline shot then.
Did I break it? Already?
I can't believe I broke it already.
And I broke the clutch,
first hour of riding.
You did so well. Really, really well.
It's the sand.
You know, we just don't like sand.
But you did brilliantly. All you had to do
when you got to the sand was stop first,
or at least just slow down,
get the bike and
But I thought I'd be able to slow down
and stop next to Charley. But
Yeah, but as soon
as you went onto the sand
But the good thing about falling in sand
is that you don't hurt yourself.
I thought you'd hurt your leg.
It did look like your leg
was kind of under the bike a bit,
and I thought, "Oh, no!"
'Cause you rode really well.
That was brilliant.
It's amazing that it's a freshwater lake.
You can hardly believe it.
Massive. It just looks like the sea.
What an amazing place, isn't it?
Beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful.
Hello! Hello!
Green is lager, brown is English beer.
Stout is the dark stuff, green.
The lodge that we stayed at
that first night,
which was a lovely little lodge,
run by a Geordie and a Scotswoman,
and they had a fantastic little spot there
in the north of Lake Malawi.
And we came over here,
I found this place just to build
a little cottage at one point.
And then turned it into a lodge. Slowly.
- And you did it yourself?
- Yeah, it took about a year to build.
This is our third year open,
so I thought it was a bit greedy
to keep it to yourself, you know?
It's lovely that Eve's here.
After this perfect day,
I'll read a newspaper,
have a shower, eat some food
and go to bed.
- You don't want me.
- Please don't say that.
The minute Eve comes along,
it's like, "See ya, Charley."
That's so not what I wanted it to be like.
- No, I just think
- No, I'm joking, I'm joking.
Charley and the cars
are going up this mad road,
and Ewan, Claudio and I,
we are going on the normal road.
Eve. You look the part,
be the part, look at you.
See you, Charley.
We'll be back tonight, okay?
You're nothing
without my navigational skills.
You're useless without me.
Eve, it's so cool.
It's so cool that you're here.
120 miles, a whole day to do it in.
Perfect.
I watched that film,
Bridget Jones's Diary, the other day,
and you know that bit
when she's all by herself, you know?
I know how she feels.
I'm busy doing
my own fucking documentary now.
Bastards. I don't need anyone!
Hello. How you doing, boys?
- Good.
- Good?
Immediately, you're stopping in villages
and there's people coming around.
We're looking at a guy's bicycle,
and we're speaking to people.
And Eve, she's lovely with people,
you know?
You could see that she'd be
a really good addition to the team.
Thank you very much.
Your bike's very nice.
All right,
we're going up to Livingstone's place.
It's just at the top here somewhere.
Mission Hello.
Is this Livingstone Mission?
When Livingstone came here,
he was walking around down by the lake,
and he asked one of the locals,
"What's that?"
And they said, "Nyasa."
And he then called it Lake Nyasa.
"Nyasa" means lake.
So he really called it "Lake Lake."
So we shall carry on.
We've only got another 50 miles to go
to where we're headed.
It's 1:00.
It's lunchtime.
It's very nice.
'Cause we're just bimbling along,
bimbling along.
This is the Chintheche Inn.
And we're short of Charley,
who must be behind us, I guess.
And we got here,
and we're supposed to camp tonight,
but it's really lovely,
so we're not going to.
We're gonna get three rooms and
- Three rooms?
- Yeah, a double and two singles.
Okay.
Did you want a single?
Do you want to sleep on your own?
No, it's just
With me for one night,
and she's had enough.
Look where we are. It's fantastic.
Good.
- How are you? All right?
- Yeah.
- Was that a long day?
- No, it was fine.
Cheers, guys. Thank you.
So there you are.
Oh, my God, it's alcoholic.
I think it's got gin in it
or something, Malawian gin.
What a place.
I thought we were camping.
- That's what I was thinking.
- Get out of the hedge