Magnum, P.I. (1980) s01e08 Episode Script
The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
- Tell Sir Algernon to hire someone else.
- Sir Algernon is the dog.
The what? Have you off-loaded my dog yet? Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
You're gonna go in and get my dog.
Real simple, real fast.
- Hey, you.
! - Stop those men! Stop those men.
! If that dog is worth something, it has to be intrinsic to the dog itself.
Maybe he has some kind of peculiar talent.
You couldn't pull a simple ABC job like snatching a pooch.
We use finesse, not brute force.
We don't need an old mustache telling us how to do our jobs.
That stinkin' dog.
- Magnum! - Come on.
! Hurry up, will ya? I can't believe this! Now this old mustache, as you put it, is gonna show you how it's done.
We got the gas tank.
! Come on.
! Come on.
! Let's go.
! All holiday cruise passengers bound for Tahiti, our Pacific Princess luxury liner will open for boarding at Pier 11 in five minutes.
All right.
Pull her right over here.
No, no, no.
We can't park here.
This is fine.
It's fine.
This is a yellow zone.
A yellow zone? We're here to pull a snatch, and you're worried about yellow zones? It won't do us any good to draw attention by parking illegally.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe we should have come out on a bus like some tourists with the flowered shirts.
- Will you get going? - All right, all right.
Come on, Mitch.
Hey, uh, you're gonna have to move this vehicle.
It's all right.
I'm here to pick someone up.
Look, this is a yellow zone.
You gotta move out.
Officer, I'm here to pick up Mama DiGiorgio.
My nephew, he went to find her.
She- She has a little trouble getting around on the crutches.
Sorry.
We all got our problems, but you're gonna have to move this car.
Hey, a nephew like mine you've never seen.
He always promised us- "Aunt Gina, Uncle Vic-'' That's me.
Uncle Vic.
"Someday I'm gonna put you on a boat and send you to Hawaii.
'' I'm sorry, sir, but, uh, either you move this car, or I'm gonna have to call the tow truck.
Hey, that's some boy, my nephew.
Well, of course, uh, if she's on crutches.
Captain Nakua, report to the Pier 9 loading gate.
Okay, guys.
Here he is.
That's Sir Algernon Farnsworth? We should have started earlier.
Or I should have canceled the afternoon meeting.
The board meeting should be over by 5:00, Mrs.
Marston.
You'll be able to see Sir Algernon immediately afterward.
I barely have time to say hello to him, let alone make him feel welcome.
Thank you.
Okay.
Thanks, guys.
Oh.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I'm Mrs.
Marston.
Have you off-loaded my dog yet? Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
Yeah, the animal control people just took him to the shelter.
What in the worid are you talking about? I would never allow my Algie to stay at a dog pound.
He's staying at the Kaleawana Kennel during quarantine.
They just took him a minute ago.
Hey, there they are.
Hey, you.
! Algie.
! Stop those men! Stop those men! - Come on! Let's get out of here! - Algie! Oh, my baby.
Algie.
Aw.
Where is he? We had a little trouble.
Feds or local? Uh, neither.
That lady, Mrs.
Marston.
You mean you- you come back without the dog because of some old broad? She was running across the dock screaming bloody murder.
You're lucky she didn't have the rest of the giris from the mah-jongg club.
Maybe you wouldn't have gotten out alive.
Don't worry.
We'll get the dog.
I'm not worried.
You guys are gonna have to answer to Dominic if you lose that dog.
Higgins, what's so important about a dog? Magnum, we are talking about the pet of a very important and highly regarded member of the King Kamehameha Club.
We're talking about a dog.
No offense, guys.
Tell Sir Algernon to hire someone else.
Sir Algernon is the dog.
Mrs.
Marston is your client.
My what? I guaranteed your services.
Higgins, don't you think you should have checked with me first? Magnum, I would consider it a personal favor if you would take on this matter.
Oh.
Why didn't you tell me that in the first place? Tennis courts.
Impossible.
Mr.
Connors and Mr.
Borg are Robin's guests this weekend.
- They'll be using the courts.
- Good.
Then Jimmy can help me with my backhand and Bjorn can help me with my serve.
Magnum, I can't.
Then neither can I.
I am so glad that you have agreed to protect Algie.
Algie? I thought his name was Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
He prefers Algie.
He's very down-to-earth.
I can see that.
Quite a dog.
One of a kind.
Obviously.
Um, sugar? - Please.
- Mrs.
Marston, would you pay a ransom for Algie? Of course.
Money's no object when it comes to Algie.
Well, I think you were the intended victim of a couple of professional dognappers.
See, they hang out at the docks, see a likely candidate and kidnap it.
You probably won't see or hear from those two yo-yos again.
Then hiring Magnum would be a waste of your money.
Of course, you do have to keep Algie as well protected as possible during the four-month quarantine.
You said he was staying at the Kaleawana Kennels? Oh.
I think their security's top-notch.
Well, I'd like to be absolutely certain.
Well, I could run a security check.
On a kennel? Why not? Nothing is too good for Sir Algernon.
I'll phone the kennel and tell them you're coming.
No, no.
Don't do that.
They'd only upgrade their security for my inspection.
No, if someone was going to try and kidnap your dog, they would probably break in at night.
That's when I'll make my inspection.
There's nothing you can do till tonight? Not really.
Besides, I have a previous conference with a couple of pros.
Right, Higgins? Hey, blondie, throw that thing to me, will you, babes? Come on.
Hey.
Hey, Steve.
Tell the truth.
You like giris? Of course I like giris.
Well, why don't you come over and look? Because I've got reports to fill out.
Reports? What is the family coming to? Your father and I, may his soul rest in peace, we never made no reports.
Mr.
DiGiorgio, if you'd done a little paperwork, we wouldn't be here now.
I- I- I don't believe you.
You couldn't pull a simple ABC job like snatching a pooch.
You know, once, your father and I, you know what we had to do? j.
Edgar Hoover had this stoolie with 20 agents surrounding him.
You know what we did? We grabbed an armored truck with a turret gun.
A turret gun.
! And we blew our way in! Things aren't done like that anymore.
We use finesse, not brute force.
Finesse? What do you think you are, Steve? You think you're still captain of that Harvard chess team? - Yale.
- Yale, Harvard.
Mr.
DiGiorgio, with all due respect, we don't need an old mustache telling us how to do our jobs.
Maybe not, baby.
But you need somebody to tell you somethin'.
Steve, I got everything.
All right.
Real good.
Mr.
DiGiorgio, we get your dog tonight.
You're gonna dress up like two Good Humor men and go in there and bribe the night watchman with a Popsicle? Something like that.
The Department of Health? Uh, yes, that's right.
Uh, I'm sorry about the strange hour.
Thank you.
But the outbreak was only recently discovered when two gerbils escaped from a cargo hold and attacked the crew while they were tying up to a dock.
What? It's just a little joke.
But, uh, actually, I have to check all animals that have entered quarantine in the last 24 hours.
You see, two dogs from Hong Kong have contracted a rare and highly contagious disease.
And it usually affects cattle, and since these are sheepdogs, I think you can see how dangerous this could be.
If it ain't one thing, it's another.
First, the State, uh, Quarantine Board pulling a surprise check and now you.
The State Quarantine Board? Got here just before you did.
Thirty years on the job.
I never had this kind of activity on my shift.
- A-Are they still in there? - Yeah.
Matter of fact, uh, you may have to wait until they've finished up.
Come on.
Get him out.
He's just a dog.
I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'! Hi, guys.
Oh, uh, we're the State Quarantine Board.
This dog happens to be infected with a type of, uh, flea that carries bubonic plague.
We're gonna have to isolate him.
With a syringe? Call the police.
Hold it! Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Wait a minute.
What's that? His lunch.
There's nothing surgically implanted under the skin, nothing in his teeth, nothing in the collar.
If that dog is worth something, it has to be intrinsic to the dog itself.
Well, maybe he has some kind of peculiar talent.
Such as what? Lifting his leg? Police do train dogs to sniff out explosives or drugs.
Those are highly trained, extremely intelligent breeds- dogs such as Apollo and Zeus, not mongrels.
Well, I will have you know that that mongrel stuck with me last night, which is more than those two would ever do.
I rest my case.
- Identify yourself.
- Do what? T.
C.
, shag it.
Shag it? Yeah.
Security password.
Magnum, youre committing a breach of security.
You can't do this.
I don't know what you're up to, Magnum, but whatever it is, it's not going to work.
Not this time.
Wanna bet? Yes.
Whatever it is you want.
The car for a month, the tennis courts for a year, the wine cellar.
Whatever it is, it's still not going to work.
There are times when one human being really shouldn't take advantage of another, but this wasn't one of them.
Look, why can't we build it here? The area's obviously being used by people coming from the main house down to the tennis courts.
The dog can't make contact with more than two or three people.
Well, that's gonna be impossible.
People roam around here like it was the Honolulu International- I didn't make up the rules.
All right, men.
Put it wherever she wants it.
Stop.
Whatever you're doing, stop it.
Hi, Higgins.
Don't "Hi, Higgins" me.
just get you and your juvenile delinquents out of here.
juvenile delinquents? Man, those are some of the best athletes on my team.
And now I'm teaching them how to work for a living.
Now, those skilled laborers are gonna earn $200 building the run.
Run? You must be Higgins.
I'm Sharon Carnes, State Board of Agriculture and Animal Regulations.
How do you do? What run? - Dog run.
- "Dog run''? - Yeah.
- Hi, Sharon.
How you doing? Hi, Thomas.
Hi, guys.
Magnum, you didn't mention a tidal pool.
Naturally, you'll have to make sure Sir Algernon Farnsworth does not enter the ocean.
Naturally.
No.
Oh, no.
Excuse me.
I told you not to bet.
Sure.
It doesn't matter.
That animal cannot stay here.
T.
C.
, build it wherever she wants.
Right on.
Higgins.
No.
No, no, no! Look, I cannot protect a dog that is 20 miles away in a kennel with poor security.
How did you manage to arrange this, Magnum? Hawaii has very strict quarantine laws.
It wasn't easy.
Mrs.
Marston had to pull a lot of strings.
Now, all we have to do is make a few concessions and abide by the rules.
No, we don't, since that dog is not going to stay here.
Okay.
Mrs.
Marston went through a lot of trouble to arrange this, but I guess she'll understand when you explain it to her.
- How long? - A year.
A year? The quarantine period is only four months.
Oh, Algie'll only be here a week or so till I track down whoever's after him.
But I want the tennis courts for a year.
That was one of the bets you offered, wasn't it? Don't feel sorry for Higgins.
He never totally loses.
When Sharon and I left to get Sir Farnsworth at the kennel, the Ferrari had mysteriously disappeared.
So I took the Jimmy and wondered what could go wrong next.
I really think this is the wrong way to go about this.
Look, we're not taking a vote.
Now, you guys, you're gonna go in and get my dog.
Real simple, real fast.
In and out.
Anybody gets in your way- bing, bang, boom.
It's broad daylight.
The middle of the night didn't exactly work like a charm.
Now, believe me, no one will be ready for you guys walking through that front door at noon.
That's how your old man and I hit the City National.
What do you think put you through Harvard? Yale.
Yale.
Hey, that's your dog.
Please keep him on a shorter leash.
Sharon, are you afraid of this dog? I'm not "cynophobic.
" I just don't like animals sniffing at me.
Cynophobic? Who's the guy and the dame? That's the- the guy from last night.
Sharon, if you're afraid of the dog, just say so.
I'm not afraid of the dog.
That would be silly, wouldn't it? I mean, to put a dog in custody of someone afraid of it.
No.
If you're afraid, you're afraid.
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
But I'm not afraid.
Okay.
You're not afraid.
Up.
Up.
Hey, they're making it easy for us.
We'll take the dog on the road.
On the road? We don't even have a plan.
We don't need a plan.
We got this.
Come on, Algie.
Move it! Sir Farnsworth, come here.
Sir Farnsworth.
Come here.
Come here.
Stay.
- Damn.
- What? Oh, nothing.
How you doing, Sir Farnsworth? Why are we stopping? We need gas.
- The tank's full.
- Uh, the gauge sticks.
I'll be right back.
You just tell the attendant to fill it up.
And don't leave Algie.
Hello.
Island Hoppers.
T.
C.
, it's Magnum.
Aha! Hey, Thomas.
My kids got their $200, but I'm still short $163.
59.
Yeah, look, when I get paid by Mrs.
Marston, you'll get paid.
I'm at a gas station about five miles north of Chinaman's Hat on my way to Robin's.
- How long would it take you to get here? Twenty minutes if I wanted to, which I don't.
That is unless you got my $163.
59.
Look, T.
C.
, I think I'm being followed by a black sedan with rental plates.
Then why don't you hire a real private investigator? Or better yet, why don't you call the cops? And tell them what? I'm being followed by three guys who are after a dog? I gotta let them make a move first.
I'd just like to know I had a little high cover.
Oh, yeah? And who's gonna pay for this high cover? Excuse me, miss.
My name's Reardan.
I'm with 5-0.
If you could step right over to our surveillance unit and bring the dog along.
We were informed that someone's been trying to kidnap Sir Farnsworth- - Well, we've been assigned as an undercover escort.
Oh.
Uh, would you mind bringing the dog along, please? Me? Uh, Magnum will be back in a minute.
He'll do it.
What the hell's going on here? Let's go.
Well, you get the dog.
I'll get that stinkin' dog.
Magnum! Come on, you lousy- Magnum.
! just put it on my bill, okay? No, I can't.
'Cause I ain't comin'.
Magnum, help.
! Thomas? - Come on.
! Hurry up, will ya? - Excuse me.
Come here, you lousy mutt.
Hey.
Hey.
What the hell? What are you doing? Hey, who- I can't believe this! Come on! Come on, you lollipops! What's going on? They're the ones after Algie.
They said they were from 5-0.
And you believed 'em? Why not? You didn't give them a chance to say anything.
Right.
College boys! Now this old mustache, as you put it, is gonna show you how it's done.
If you guys had used that piece back there, we'd be making tracks with that dog right now.
And we'd have a dozen witnesses to I.
D.
us afterwards.
Well, there ain't gonna be no witnesses now.
So be a good boy and pull that piece and get ready to use it.
Whoever he is, he's one hell of a driver.
Why doesn't that make me feel better? Oh, don't worry.
He can't keep it up.
Now where's he going? Hang on.
I'm gonna lose him.
You can't go in there.
Yeah? Well, who's gonna stop me? Look out.
- That guy's crazy.
- He's crazy? Well, he'll never follow us in here.
Yeah.
We'll be okay now.
If we ever find our way out of here.
I'm gonna get that mutt if it's the last thing I do.
You're not stopping? I- I've got to.
We're out of gas.
And I thought you were lying about the needle being stuck and needing gas.
I was lying about the needle being stuck and needing gas, but they must have shot holes in the tank.
Magnum, be- Shh.
They're stuck.
Damn it.
I can't even get out.
Turn the motor off.
Dummy! I'm sorry.
Really.
That's okay, Sharon.
You've just gotta learn to trust people.
That's all.
Right, Algie? Hey.
Shh.
They're stuck too.
Come on! My luck is still with me.
You son of a gun! On the bull's-eye! We got the gas tank! Come on.
Come on.
Let's go.
There's not much more road.
Who cares about the road? What are we gonna do here? Set up a picnic basket? Come on! Move it, will ya? Move it! Hold it, hold it, hold it.
You all right? Here.
Yes.
Well, let's see.
No, I- I'm fine.
Hi, guys.
You're trespassing.
I've got the right to shoot trespassers.
Isn't that right, Manu? I just give it to you.
We're not trespassing.
We're being chased.
Chased? Yes.
Uh, besides, uh, the banana plantations reverted back to the government when the leases ran out.
So we can't be trespassing.
Uh, especially since I work for the people- Me.
Uh, she's working for me.
We got a couple guys from 5-0 on our tail.
I thought you said they weren't from 5-0.
Well, not all of them.
The Justice Department always sends a couple of local cops with one of their federal agents.
You got the feds after you? - No.
- Yes.
We came up here in a pickup truck with a load of seedlings.
We were looking for a place to find our patch when they jumped us.
Seedlings? We didn't realize that you guys were already up here.
I'm sorry.
Oh, that's okay.
How far is the highway from here, brah? Tom! About a mile down.
Oh, good.
What? This is cannabis.
Grass! Yes.
Yes, I know it is.
Uh, your stuff looks much healthier than ours anyway.
Oh, you should try Hapuna buzz, brah.
Hey, right.
That's good stuff.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on, college boys.
You're moving like you're older than I am, for crying out loud.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lost, man? Oh, come on.
just a minute.
I want to try and get a fix on exactly where we are so I can let 'em know about their little patch.
Let's go.
All right.
Who the hell are they? They gotta be moonshiners.
There's gotta be a still around here somewhere.
They're growing grass.
We've stumbled into their patch.
Grass? Why would anybody be growing grass in a banana patch? I got it in the leg.
Come on, come on! We can't stay here.
For once, you're right.
Listen, give me his piece, get your fraternity brother out of here, and I'll cover.
Come on.
Come on, Algie.
just rest a minute to catch my breath.
Okay.
Oh, man.
I've never seen anything like this guy.
He's nuts.
The guy's crazy.
He thinks he's Al Capone.
It's okay, fella.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
You really think he understands you when you say that? Well, sure.
Maybe not every word, but he senses my meaning.
That's nonsense.
Dogs are strictly stimuli-motivated.
You slap him, he's punished.
You pet him, he's rewarded.
He- He can't understand words like "No one's gonna hurt you, boy.
'' Oh, look, just 'cause you're afraid of dogs- I'm not afraid of dogs.
I'm sorry.
No, it's all right.
It's just that I'm confused, tired, scared, and I- And? And afraid of dogs.
Algie and I kind of had that figured out.
It's nothin' to be ashamed of.
How you doin'? All right.
I'm all right.
What do you think? They gotta be there.
After I got my master's in marine biology, I came to Hawaii looking for a job working with marine mammals.
Whales, dolphins, seals.
But they don't start you out there.
You have to put in a year or so working with dogs, cats, birds, until there's an opening in the marine maintenance section.
If they knew that I was afraid of dogs, they'd let me go.
And you wouldn't have a chance to save the whales.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, don't worry.
Your secret's safe with us.
Right, Algie? Thanks, Algie.
Come on, Algie.
We've got company.
Come on, Algie.
Come on.
! Get Algie, will ya? And stay there.
Come on.
Hold it.
Hold it.
What? What now? I gotta reload.
Here.
Do I have to do everything? Will you earn your living? Load 'em up! Listen to me.
Either we go in there and get that dog, or we get the hell out of here.
Relax, will ya? Look, we're- we're in the middle of nowhere.
They got nowhere to go but the ocean and the sharks.
Now we can make a plan.
- Now you want to make a plan.
- And my leg's still bleeding.
A little buckshot never hurt anybody.
Hey, you want to hear about blood? No more! No more stories about the old days, huh? All right! All right! Give me my piece.
Now we're gonna go down that pier and get that rotten dog, even if we have to blast those two out of that shack! You got it? I got it.
You gonna be able to make it? Yeah.
It's just a flesh wound.
I'll be okay.
Aha! You see? Looks like the college kid grew up.
Let's go.
Shoot.
Mitch, go around the back! Come on! Shh.
Shh! Shh! Look, whoever you are, all I want is my dog.
! - Your dog? - He was stolen from me, his rightful and legal owner.
Now what do you say? Look, you got nowhere to go.
You're trapped.
I'll make a deal.
You two for my dog.
I ain't got all day.
Man, I don't believe it.
Come on, Algie.
Come on.
Go on.
Come on, Algie.
Algie.
Go.
Go.
Hey, Algie.
Algie, I got ya.
Come on.
That's it.
Good boy.
Man, some things never change.
Who's gonna pay for that? Just put it on my bill.
I don't believe it! See what I mean? It's not that easy to get that damn dog.
Enough.
Enough.
The entire episode is absurd.
Yeah, you got that right.
But true, right, T.
C.
? Oh, yeah.
Sure is.
And I got 450 bucks' worth of bullet holes in my bird to prove it.
Well, I don't believe you- either of you.
And neither will Mr.
Masters when I tell him you lost his favorite pickup truck in a banana field.
No, no.
It ain't lost.
I spotted it.
See, that's how I found him.
You see, I was in my bird, and then I was- Please, not again.
Higgins, we couldn't possibly have even invented this story.
And besides, it all started with your friend Mrs.
Marston, remember? Assuming that you are telling the truth- and it's a huge assumption- what could possibly make this dog worth all that trouble? I don't know! But I think I have a way of finding out.
T.
C.
, I'm gonna call Rick.
Mm-hmm.
As long as you don't call me.
Rick wasn't overly enthusiastic about my plan.
He thought it had some holes in it, and he was afraid they would end up in him.
I told him that was ridiculous.
What's your problem? What are you, coconuts, or what? Whoa.
What is this? just follow that car.
You know, uh, unless there's a black market for chlorine and skimmers, you're just wasting your time.
What were you doing on the estate? I was reroofing the garage.
What do you think I was doing? I was cleaning the pool.
You don't clean tidal pools, and that's all they've got.
Oh, no kidding? I- I thought there was something funny.
You'd be surprised what you find in people's filters.
One time I found a Chicago Cubs glove, and another time I found this- Yeah, right.
I get your drift.
just keep on driving.
$ 163.
59 for materials, $450 for bullet holes, $200 for the trip there, Man, that comes to a grand total of $1,013.
59.
And that ain't including tax.
That's it.
Take us down.
But not close enough for them to hear.
If I land out of hearing range, it'll take you 15 minutes to get there, and Rick could be in trouble by then.
Can you split the difference? You got it, good buddy.
Okay, Mr.
Pool Man.
just pull it right up there.
Get out.
Come on.
Get out.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Move.
Okay, okay.
I'm going.
Come on, come on.
Steve, you get the dog? Victor DiGiorgio.
I thought you died in the pen years ago.
Who's the mouth? Orville.
Orville? Yeah, Orville from Flatbush.
I used to do some running for High Shoes Leibo.
They called me Little "O.
'' You remember, Mr.
D.
No.
Where's my dog? He's in the back.
- Well, did you get the number? - Not yet.
Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Bring him out and check the tattoo.
You tattooed a dog? I love it.
That's great, Mr.
D.
Watch the hands! Bring him out.
! I'd really prefer it if you did, Mr.
DiGiorgio.
Me? Are you crazy? That dog'll tear me apart.
But he's your dog.
Look, you know that and I know that, but that dog don't know it.
He never forgive me for leaving him when I got sent up.
He holds a grudge like nobody you ever met.
We're talking about a dog here.
All right.
! He's small, but he's mean.
! And he's got a memory like a bull elephant! You bring him out.
! Hey, don't even look at me.
I've had it with that animal.
You.
Orville.
Call him out.
Nice and easy.
Tattooing a dog.
That's great, Mr.
D.
Come on, come on.
Come on, Orville.
Victor DiGiorgio.
Boy, I really remember him from Flatbush.
I really do.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
You can come out now, Algie.
It's all right.
Now, lads.
! Keep 'em off! Get 'em off! Hold it! Hold it! You really gotta get into condition, Orville.
I'm too old for this.
It's just a bunch of numbers.
Well, hardly just a bunch of numbers.
That tattoo is the call number to a coded Swiss bank account.
According to the F.
B.
I.
, it contained four million dollars- mob money DiGiorgio was holding when he was sent to prison.
And anyone with that number can just get into the account? Yep.
No names, no signatures.
It's a favorite of businessmen.
And the mob.
But- But how did Mrs.
Marston end up with a dog that belonged to a mobster? Well, see, after Vic was sentenced, he left the dog in the care of, uh, his girlfriend.
She was a hairdresser.
Well, he didn't tell her about the tattoo, but he just said don't let the dog out of her sight.
Well, they had a little fight, see, and to spite him, she gave the dog away to a customer.
Mrs.
Marston.
We're going to miss you around here, Sir Algernon.
Algie's not leaving.
He's not? I mean, uh, he's not? Getting space in the Kaleawana Kennel is very difficult.
It sometimes takes months.
By then, Algie's quarantine period will be over.
Mrs.
Marston thought, as long as you already have the facilities, well, he could stay here.
It's either that or the animal shelter.
And Mrs.
Marston wouldn't be very happy if he went there.
Of course, if he's too much bother- Oh, Apollo and Zeus will have to make a few sacrifices, but I'm sure they won't mind.
Not for someone very, very special like Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
Would they, Higgins? Of course not.
Sorry, lads.
Cheer up, Higgins.
They'll forgive you someday.
Oh, they quite understand.
Believe me, Magnum, I've explained to them precisely who's responsible for their incarceration.
- Sir Algernon is the dog.
The what? Have you off-loaded my dog yet? Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
You're gonna go in and get my dog.
Real simple, real fast.
- Hey, you.
! - Stop those men! Stop those men.
! If that dog is worth something, it has to be intrinsic to the dog itself.
Maybe he has some kind of peculiar talent.
You couldn't pull a simple ABC job like snatching a pooch.
We use finesse, not brute force.
We don't need an old mustache telling us how to do our jobs.
That stinkin' dog.
- Magnum! - Come on.
! Hurry up, will ya? I can't believe this! Now this old mustache, as you put it, is gonna show you how it's done.
We got the gas tank.
! Come on.
! Come on.
! Let's go.
! All holiday cruise passengers bound for Tahiti, our Pacific Princess luxury liner will open for boarding at Pier 11 in five minutes.
All right.
Pull her right over here.
No, no, no.
We can't park here.
This is fine.
It's fine.
This is a yellow zone.
A yellow zone? We're here to pull a snatch, and you're worried about yellow zones? It won't do us any good to draw attention by parking illegally.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe we should have come out on a bus like some tourists with the flowered shirts.
- Will you get going? - All right, all right.
Come on, Mitch.
Hey, uh, you're gonna have to move this vehicle.
It's all right.
I'm here to pick someone up.
Look, this is a yellow zone.
You gotta move out.
Officer, I'm here to pick up Mama DiGiorgio.
My nephew, he went to find her.
She- She has a little trouble getting around on the crutches.
Sorry.
We all got our problems, but you're gonna have to move this car.
Hey, a nephew like mine you've never seen.
He always promised us- "Aunt Gina, Uncle Vic-'' That's me.
Uncle Vic.
"Someday I'm gonna put you on a boat and send you to Hawaii.
'' I'm sorry, sir, but, uh, either you move this car, or I'm gonna have to call the tow truck.
Hey, that's some boy, my nephew.
Well, of course, uh, if she's on crutches.
Captain Nakua, report to the Pier 9 loading gate.
Okay, guys.
Here he is.
That's Sir Algernon Farnsworth? We should have started earlier.
Or I should have canceled the afternoon meeting.
The board meeting should be over by 5:00, Mrs.
Marston.
You'll be able to see Sir Algernon immediately afterward.
I barely have time to say hello to him, let alone make him feel welcome.
Thank you.
Okay.
Thanks, guys.
Oh.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
I'm Mrs.
Marston.
Have you off-loaded my dog yet? Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
Yeah, the animal control people just took him to the shelter.
What in the worid are you talking about? I would never allow my Algie to stay at a dog pound.
He's staying at the Kaleawana Kennel during quarantine.
They just took him a minute ago.
Hey, there they are.
Hey, you.
! Algie.
! Stop those men! Stop those men! - Come on! Let's get out of here! - Algie! Oh, my baby.
Algie.
Aw.
Where is he? We had a little trouble.
Feds or local? Uh, neither.
That lady, Mrs.
Marston.
You mean you- you come back without the dog because of some old broad? She was running across the dock screaming bloody murder.
You're lucky she didn't have the rest of the giris from the mah-jongg club.
Maybe you wouldn't have gotten out alive.
Don't worry.
We'll get the dog.
I'm not worried.
You guys are gonna have to answer to Dominic if you lose that dog.
Higgins, what's so important about a dog? Magnum, we are talking about the pet of a very important and highly regarded member of the King Kamehameha Club.
We're talking about a dog.
No offense, guys.
Tell Sir Algernon to hire someone else.
Sir Algernon is the dog.
Mrs.
Marston is your client.
My what? I guaranteed your services.
Higgins, don't you think you should have checked with me first? Magnum, I would consider it a personal favor if you would take on this matter.
Oh.
Why didn't you tell me that in the first place? Tennis courts.
Impossible.
Mr.
Connors and Mr.
Borg are Robin's guests this weekend.
- They'll be using the courts.
- Good.
Then Jimmy can help me with my backhand and Bjorn can help me with my serve.
Magnum, I can't.
Then neither can I.
I am so glad that you have agreed to protect Algie.
Algie? I thought his name was Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
He prefers Algie.
He's very down-to-earth.
I can see that.
Quite a dog.
One of a kind.
Obviously.
Um, sugar? - Please.
- Mrs.
Marston, would you pay a ransom for Algie? Of course.
Money's no object when it comes to Algie.
Well, I think you were the intended victim of a couple of professional dognappers.
See, they hang out at the docks, see a likely candidate and kidnap it.
You probably won't see or hear from those two yo-yos again.
Then hiring Magnum would be a waste of your money.
Of course, you do have to keep Algie as well protected as possible during the four-month quarantine.
You said he was staying at the Kaleawana Kennels? Oh.
I think their security's top-notch.
Well, I'd like to be absolutely certain.
Well, I could run a security check.
On a kennel? Why not? Nothing is too good for Sir Algernon.
I'll phone the kennel and tell them you're coming.
No, no.
Don't do that.
They'd only upgrade their security for my inspection.
No, if someone was going to try and kidnap your dog, they would probably break in at night.
That's when I'll make my inspection.
There's nothing you can do till tonight? Not really.
Besides, I have a previous conference with a couple of pros.
Right, Higgins? Hey, blondie, throw that thing to me, will you, babes? Come on.
Hey.
Hey, Steve.
Tell the truth.
You like giris? Of course I like giris.
Well, why don't you come over and look? Because I've got reports to fill out.
Reports? What is the family coming to? Your father and I, may his soul rest in peace, we never made no reports.
Mr.
DiGiorgio, if you'd done a little paperwork, we wouldn't be here now.
I- I- I don't believe you.
You couldn't pull a simple ABC job like snatching a pooch.
You know, once, your father and I, you know what we had to do? j.
Edgar Hoover had this stoolie with 20 agents surrounding him.
You know what we did? We grabbed an armored truck with a turret gun.
A turret gun.
! And we blew our way in! Things aren't done like that anymore.
We use finesse, not brute force.
Finesse? What do you think you are, Steve? You think you're still captain of that Harvard chess team? - Yale.
- Yale, Harvard.
Mr.
DiGiorgio, with all due respect, we don't need an old mustache telling us how to do our jobs.
Maybe not, baby.
But you need somebody to tell you somethin'.
Steve, I got everything.
All right.
Real good.
Mr.
DiGiorgio, we get your dog tonight.
You're gonna dress up like two Good Humor men and go in there and bribe the night watchman with a Popsicle? Something like that.
The Department of Health? Uh, yes, that's right.
Uh, I'm sorry about the strange hour.
Thank you.
But the outbreak was only recently discovered when two gerbils escaped from a cargo hold and attacked the crew while they were tying up to a dock.
What? It's just a little joke.
But, uh, actually, I have to check all animals that have entered quarantine in the last 24 hours.
You see, two dogs from Hong Kong have contracted a rare and highly contagious disease.
And it usually affects cattle, and since these are sheepdogs, I think you can see how dangerous this could be.
If it ain't one thing, it's another.
First, the State, uh, Quarantine Board pulling a surprise check and now you.
The State Quarantine Board? Got here just before you did.
Thirty years on the job.
I never had this kind of activity on my shift.
- A-Are they still in there? - Yeah.
Matter of fact, uh, you may have to wait until they've finished up.
Come on.
Get him out.
He's just a dog.
I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'! Hi, guys.
Oh, uh, we're the State Quarantine Board.
This dog happens to be infected with a type of, uh, flea that carries bubonic plague.
We're gonna have to isolate him.
With a syringe? Call the police.
Hold it! Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Wait a minute.
What's that? His lunch.
There's nothing surgically implanted under the skin, nothing in his teeth, nothing in the collar.
If that dog is worth something, it has to be intrinsic to the dog itself.
Well, maybe he has some kind of peculiar talent.
Such as what? Lifting his leg? Police do train dogs to sniff out explosives or drugs.
Those are highly trained, extremely intelligent breeds- dogs such as Apollo and Zeus, not mongrels.
Well, I will have you know that that mongrel stuck with me last night, which is more than those two would ever do.
I rest my case.
- Identify yourself.
- Do what? T.
C.
, shag it.
Shag it? Yeah.
Security password.
Magnum, youre committing a breach of security.
You can't do this.
I don't know what you're up to, Magnum, but whatever it is, it's not going to work.
Not this time.
Wanna bet? Yes.
Whatever it is you want.
The car for a month, the tennis courts for a year, the wine cellar.
Whatever it is, it's still not going to work.
There are times when one human being really shouldn't take advantage of another, but this wasn't one of them.
Look, why can't we build it here? The area's obviously being used by people coming from the main house down to the tennis courts.
The dog can't make contact with more than two or three people.
Well, that's gonna be impossible.
People roam around here like it was the Honolulu International- I didn't make up the rules.
All right, men.
Put it wherever she wants it.
Stop.
Whatever you're doing, stop it.
Hi, Higgins.
Don't "Hi, Higgins" me.
just get you and your juvenile delinquents out of here.
juvenile delinquents? Man, those are some of the best athletes on my team.
And now I'm teaching them how to work for a living.
Now, those skilled laborers are gonna earn $200 building the run.
Run? You must be Higgins.
I'm Sharon Carnes, State Board of Agriculture and Animal Regulations.
How do you do? What run? - Dog run.
- "Dog run''? - Yeah.
- Hi, Sharon.
How you doing? Hi, Thomas.
Hi, guys.
Magnum, you didn't mention a tidal pool.
Naturally, you'll have to make sure Sir Algernon Farnsworth does not enter the ocean.
Naturally.
No.
Oh, no.
Excuse me.
I told you not to bet.
Sure.
It doesn't matter.
That animal cannot stay here.
T.
C.
, build it wherever she wants.
Right on.
Higgins.
No.
No, no, no! Look, I cannot protect a dog that is 20 miles away in a kennel with poor security.
How did you manage to arrange this, Magnum? Hawaii has very strict quarantine laws.
It wasn't easy.
Mrs.
Marston had to pull a lot of strings.
Now, all we have to do is make a few concessions and abide by the rules.
No, we don't, since that dog is not going to stay here.
Okay.
Mrs.
Marston went through a lot of trouble to arrange this, but I guess she'll understand when you explain it to her.
- How long? - A year.
A year? The quarantine period is only four months.
Oh, Algie'll only be here a week or so till I track down whoever's after him.
But I want the tennis courts for a year.
That was one of the bets you offered, wasn't it? Don't feel sorry for Higgins.
He never totally loses.
When Sharon and I left to get Sir Farnsworth at the kennel, the Ferrari had mysteriously disappeared.
So I took the Jimmy and wondered what could go wrong next.
I really think this is the wrong way to go about this.
Look, we're not taking a vote.
Now, you guys, you're gonna go in and get my dog.
Real simple, real fast.
In and out.
Anybody gets in your way- bing, bang, boom.
It's broad daylight.
The middle of the night didn't exactly work like a charm.
Now, believe me, no one will be ready for you guys walking through that front door at noon.
That's how your old man and I hit the City National.
What do you think put you through Harvard? Yale.
Yale.
Hey, that's your dog.
Please keep him on a shorter leash.
Sharon, are you afraid of this dog? I'm not "cynophobic.
" I just don't like animals sniffing at me.
Cynophobic? Who's the guy and the dame? That's the- the guy from last night.
Sharon, if you're afraid of the dog, just say so.
I'm not afraid of the dog.
That would be silly, wouldn't it? I mean, to put a dog in custody of someone afraid of it.
No.
If you're afraid, you're afraid.
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
But I'm not afraid.
Okay.
You're not afraid.
Up.
Up.
Hey, they're making it easy for us.
We'll take the dog on the road.
On the road? We don't even have a plan.
We don't need a plan.
We got this.
Come on, Algie.
Move it! Sir Farnsworth, come here.
Sir Farnsworth.
Come here.
Come here.
Stay.
- Damn.
- What? Oh, nothing.
How you doing, Sir Farnsworth? Why are we stopping? We need gas.
- The tank's full.
- Uh, the gauge sticks.
I'll be right back.
You just tell the attendant to fill it up.
And don't leave Algie.
Hello.
Island Hoppers.
T.
C.
, it's Magnum.
Aha! Hey, Thomas.
My kids got their $200, but I'm still short $163.
59.
Yeah, look, when I get paid by Mrs.
Marston, you'll get paid.
I'm at a gas station about five miles north of Chinaman's Hat on my way to Robin's.
- How long would it take you to get here? Twenty minutes if I wanted to, which I don't.
That is unless you got my $163.
59.
Look, T.
C.
, I think I'm being followed by a black sedan with rental plates.
Then why don't you hire a real private investigator? Or better yet, why don't you call the cops? And tell them what? I'm being followed by three guys who are after a dog? I gotta let them make a move first.
I'd just like to know I had a little high cover.
Oh, yeah? And who's gonna pay for this high cover? Excuse me, miss.
My name's Reardan.
I'm with 5-0.
If you could step right over to our surveillance unit and bring the dog along.
We were informed that someone's been trying to kidnap Sir Farnsworth- - Well, we've been assigned as an undercover escort.
Oh.
Uh, would you mind bringing the dog along, please? Me? Uh, Magnum will be back in a minute.
He'll do it.
What the hell's going on here? Let's go.
Well, you get the dog.
I'll get that stinkin' dog.
Magnum! Come on, you lousy- Magnum.
! just put it on my bill, okay? No, I can't.
'Cause I ain't comin'.
Magnum, help.
! Thomas? - Come on.
! Hurry up, will ya? - Excuse me.
Come here, you lousy mutt.
Hey.
Hey.
What the hell? What are you doing? Hey, who- I can't believe this! Come on! Come on, you lollipops! What's going on? They're the ones after Algie.
They said they were from 5-0.
And you believed 'em? Why not? You didn't give them a chance to say anything.
Right.
College boys! Now this old mustache, as you put it, is gonna show you how it's done.
If you guys had used that piece back there, we'd be making tracks with that dog right now.
And we'd have a dozen witnesses to I.
D.
us afterwards.
Well, there ain't gonna be no witnesses now.
So be a good boy and pull that piece and get ready to use it.
Whoever he is, he's one hell of a driver.
Why doesn't that make me feel better? Oh, don't worry.
He can't keep it up.
Now where's he going? Hang on.
I'm gonna lose him.
You can't go in there.
Yeah? Well, who's gonna stop me? Look out.
- That guy's crazy.
- He's crazy? Well, he'll never follow us in here.
Yeah.
We'll be okay now.
If we ever find our way out of here.
I'm gonna get that mutt if it's the last thing I do.
You're not stopping? I- I've got to.
We're out of gas.
And I thought you were lying about the needle being stuck and needing gas.
I was lying about the needle being stuck and needing gas, but they must have shot holes in the tank.
Magnum, be- Shh.
They're stuck.
Damn it.
I can't even get out.
Turn the motor off.
Dummy! I'm sorry.
Really.
That's okay, Sharon.
You've just gotta learn to trust people.
That's all.
Right, Algie? Hey.
Shh.
They're stuck too.
Come on! My luck is still with me.
You son of a gun! On the bull's-eye! We got the gas tank! Come on.
Come on.
Let's go.
There's not much more road.
Who cares about the road? What are we gonna do here? Set up a picnic basket? Come on! Move it, will ya? Move it! Hold it, hold it, hold it.
You all right? Here.
Yes.
Well, let's see.
No, I- I'm fine.
Hi, guys.
You're trespassing.
I've got the right to shoot trespassers.
Isn't that right, Manu? I just give it to you.
We're not trespassing.
We're being chased.
Chased? Yes.
Uh, besides, uh, the banana plantations reverted back to the government when the leases ran out.
So we can't be trespassing.
Uh, especially since I work for the people- Me.
Uh, she's working for me.
We got a couple guys from 5-0 on our tail.
I thought you said they weren't from 5-0.
Well, not all of them.
The Justice Department always sends a couple of local cops with one of their federal agents.
You got the feds after you? - No.
- Yes.
We came up here in a pickup truck with a load of seedlings.
We were looking for a place to find our patch when they jumped us.
Seedlings? We didn't realize that you guys were already up here.
I'm sorry.
Oh, that's okay.
How far is the highway from here, brah? Tom! About a mile down.
Oh, good.
What? This is cannabis.
Grass! Yes.
Yes, I know it is.
Uh, your stuff looks much healthier than ours anyway.
Oh, you should try Hapuna buzz, brah.
Hey, right.
That's good stuff.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Come on, college boys.
You're moving like you're older than I am, for crying out loud.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Lost, man? Oh, come on.
just a minute.
I want to try and get a fix on exactly where we are so I can let 'em know about their little patch.
Let's go.
All right.
Who the hell are they? They gotta be moonshiners.
There's gotta be a still around here somewhere.
They're growing grass.
We've stumbled into their patch.
Grass? Why would anybody be growing grass in a banana patch? I got it in the leg.
Come on, come on! We can't stay here.
For once, you're right.
Listen, give me his piece, get your fraternity brother out of here, and I'll cover.
Come on.
Come on, Algie.
just rest a minute to catch my breath.
Okay.
Oh, man.
I've never seen anything like this guy.
He's nuts.
The guy's crazy.
He thinks he's Al Capone.
It's okay, fella.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
You really think he understands you when you say that? Well, sure.
Maybe not every word, but he senses my meaning.
That's nonsense.
Dogs are strictly stimuli-motivated.
You slap him, he's punished.
You pet him, he's rewarded.
He- He can't understand words like "No one's gonna hurt you, boy.
'' Oh, look, just 'cause you're afraid of dogs- I'm not afraid of dogs.
I'm sorry.
No, it's all right.
It's just that I'm confused, tired, scared, and I- And? And afraid of dogs.
Algie and I kind of had that figured out.
It's nothin' to be ashamed of.
How you doin'? All right.
I'm all right.
What do you think? They gotta be there.
After I got my master's in marine biology, I came to Hawaii looking for a job working with marine mammals.
Whales, dolphins, seals.
But they don't start you out there.
You have to put in a year or so working with dogs, cats, birds, until there's an opening in the marine maintenance section.
If they knew that I was afraid of dogs, they'd let me go.
And you wouldn't have a chance to save the whales.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, don't worry.
Your secret's safe with us.
Right, Algie? Thanks, Algie.
Come on, Algie.
We've got company.
Come on, Algie.
Come on.
! Get Algie, will ya? And stay there.
Come on.
Hold it.
Hold it.
What? What now? I gotta reload.
Here.
Do I have to do everything? Will you earn your living? Load 'em up! Listen to me.
Either we go in there and get that dog, or we get the hell out of here.
Relax, will ya? Look, we're- we're in the middle of nowhere.
They got nowhere to go but the ocean and the sharks.
Now we can make a plan.
- Now you want to make a plan.
- And my leg's still bleeding.
A little buckshot never hurt anybody.
Hey, you want to hear about blood? No more! No more stories about the old days, huh? All right! All right! Give me my piece.
Now we're gonna go down that pier and get that rotten dog, even if we have to blast those two out of that shack! You got it? I got it.
You gonna be able to make it? Yeah.
It's just a flesh wound.
I'll be okay.
Aha! You see? Looks like the college kid grew up.
Let's go.
Shoot.
Mitch, go around the back! Come on! Shh.
Shh! Shh! Look, whoever you are, all I want is my dog.
! - Your dog? - He was stolen from me, his rightful and legal owner.
Now what do you say? Look, you got nowhere to go.
You're trapped.
I'll make a deal.
You two for my dog.
I ain't got all day.
Man, I don't believe it.
Come on, Algie.
Come on.
Go on.
Come on, Algie.
Algie.
Go.
Go.
Hey, Algie.
Algie, I got ya.
Come on.
That's it.
Good boy.
Man, some things never change.
Who's gonna pay for that? Just put it on my bill.
I don't believe it! See what I mean? It's not that easy to get that damn dog.
Enough.
Enough.
The entire episode is absurd.
Yeah, you got that right.
But true, right, T.
C.
? Oh, yeah.
Sure is.
And I got 450 bucks' worth of bullet holes in my bird to prove it.
Well, I don't believe you- either of you.
And neither will Mr.
Masters when I tell him you lost his favorite pickup truck in a banana field.
No, no.
It ain't lost.
I spotted it.
See, that's how I found him.
You see, I was in my bird, and then I was- Please, not again.
Higgins, we couldn't possibly have even invented this story.
And besides, it all started with your friend Mrs.
Marston, remember? Assuming that you are telling the truth- and it's a huge assumption- what could possibly make this dog worth all that trouble? I don't know! But I think I have a way of finding out.
T.
C.
, I'm gonna call Rick.
Mm-hmm.
As long as you don't call me.
Rick wasn't overly enthusiastic about my plan.
He thought it had some holes in it, and he was afraid they would end up in him.
I told him that was ridiculous.
What's your problem? What are you, coconuts, or what? Whoa.
What is this? just follow that car.
You know, uh, unless there's a black market for chlorine and skimmers, you're just wasting your time.
What were you doing on the estate? I was reroofing the garage.
What do you think I was doing? I was cleaning the pool.
You don't clean tidal pools, and that's all they've got.
Oh, no kidding? I- I thought there was something funny.
You'd be surprised what you find in people's filters.
One time I found a Chicago Cubs glove, and another time I found this- Yeah, right.
I get your drift.
just keep on driving.
$ 163.
59 for materials, $450 for bullet holes, $200 for the trip there, Man, that comes to a grand total of $1,013.
59.
And that ain't including tax.
That's it.
Take us down.
But not close enough for them to hear.
If I land out of hearing range, it'll take you 15 minutes to get there, and Rick could be in trouble by then.
Can you split the difference? You got it, good buddy.
Okay, Mr.
Pool Man.
just pull it right up there.
Get out.
Come on.
Get out.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Move.
Okay, okay.
I'm going.
Come on, come on.
Steve, you get the dog? Victor DiGiorgio.
I thought you died in the pen years ago.
Who's the mouth? Orville.
Orville? Yeah, Orville from Flatbush.
I used to do some running for High Shoes Leibo.
They called me Little "O.
'' You remember, Mr.
D.
No.
Where's my dog? He's in the back.
- Well, did you get the number? - Not yet.
Well, what the hell are you waiting for? Bring him out and check the tattoo.
You tattooed a dog? I love it.
That's great, Mr.
D.
Watch the hands! Bring him out.
! I'd really prefer it if you did, Mr.
DiGiorgio.
Me? Are you crazy? That dog'll tear me apart.
But he's your dog.
Look, you know that and I know that, but that dog don't know it.
He never forgive me for leaving him when I got sent up.
He holds a grudge like nobody you ever met.
We're talking about a dog here.
All right.
! He's small, but he's mean.
! And he's got a memory like a bull elephant! You bring him out.
! Hey, don't even look at me.
I've had it with that animal.
You.
Orville.
Call him out.
Nice and easy.
Tattooing a dog.
That's great, Mr.
D.
Come on, come on.
Come on, Orville.
Victor DiGiorgio.
Boy, I really remember him from Flatbush.
I really do.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
You can come out now, Algie.
It's all right.
Now, lads.
! Keep 'em off! Get 'em off! Hold it! Hold it! You really gotta get into condition, Orville.
I'm too old for this.
It's just a bunch of numbers.
Well, hardly just a bunch of numbers.
That tattoo is the call number to a coded Swiss bank account.
According to the F.
B.
I.
, it contained four million dollars- mob money DiGiorgio was holding when he was sent to prison.
And anyone with that number can just get into the account? Yep.
No names, no signatures.
It's a favorite of businessmen.
And the mob.
But- But how did Mrs.
Marston end up with a dog that belonged to a mobster? Well, see, after Vic was sentenced, he left the dog in the care of, uh, his girlfriend.
She was a hairdresser.
Well, he didn't tell her about the tattoo, but he just said don't let the dog out of her sight.
Well, they had a little fight, see, and to spite him, she gave the dog away to a customer.
Mrs.
Marston.
We're going to miss you around here, Sir Algernon.
Algie's not leaving.
He's not? I mean, uh, he's not? Getting space in the Kaleawana Kennel is very difficult.
It sometimes takes months.
By then, Algie's quarantine period will be over.
Mrs.
Marston thought, as long as you already have the facilities, well, he could stay here.
It's either that or the animal shelter.
And Mrs.
Marston wouldn't be very happy if he went there.
Of course, if he's too much bother- Oh, Apollo and Zeus will have to make a few sacrifices, but I'm sure they won't mind.
Not for someone very, very special like Sir Algernon Farnsworth.
Would they, Higgins? Of course not.
Sorry, lads.
Cheer up, Higgins.
They'll forgive you someday.
Oh, they quite understand.
Believe me, Magnum, I've explained to them precisely who's responsible for their incarceration.