Mama Cake (2024) s01e08 Episode Script

1
The characters, plot, situations
and stories are purely fictional.
Any resemblance to fact
is purely coincidental.
[cop] That Mama Cake
is a very original woman.
However, the law was made for everyone.
Imagine what would happen
if all the old ladies in the country
wanted to imitate her.
[scoffs]
An original woman doesn't imitate anyone.
And no one can imitate an original woman.
[theme music playing]
No! The apocalypse!
Don't talk nonsense!
Call the fire department!
[Jorge] Quickly. We have to help.
Go get some buckets.
[scoffs] What the hell are you doing?
-We have to help.
-Help?
And humiliate me like that
in front of all the neighbors?
Haven't you done enough with what
you already did to me in my own home?
My God!
[murmuring indistinctly]
-[man on phone] Good evening.
-They answered.
-Firefighters, we have an emergency!
-Wait on the line, please.
Your call is important to us.
Don't worry, María. They'll answer soon.
-Let's go.
-Wait.
-[pistol cocking]
-What are you doing?
I'm going to kill this asshole.
No!
Hans said to give them a scare,
not to kill anyone.
I'm in charge!
[engine starting]
Good God!
The destructive power of fire
is unbelievable.
Too bad about your truck.
You were doing so well.
You wouldn't have anything
to do with this, would you?
Me?
How could you think such a thing?
How little you know me.
[Gloria chuckling]
[Poncho] Hey! Hand it to me!
Tabachines Residence
I'm thirsty.
Reception
Mrs. Aurelia, again?
The kitchen door is over there.
Can't you see it?
Well, I wouldn't have to look
for that crappy kitchen
if my room had French water
and air-conditioning.
Okay, what do you think,
that we're in a five-star hotel
or something?
Well, I do deserve the presidential suite.
-Sure, you do.
-[man] Evening.
Good evening. Visiting hours are
from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00
I'm Commander Cárdenas
and I have a court order.
Excuse me?
I'm a police officer
and I'm here for a forced inspection.
[receptionist] No, I wasn't told anything.
Besides, residents are resting
and we cannot disturb them.
I don't think you understand, my friend.
Look. What I have here
is a search warrant,
a court order signed by a judge.
This means that I'm authorized
to go wherever I want
to search for anything I want
at any time I want. Hmm?
I can do it discreetly
or I can come back with ten men
who may not be as considerate as I am.
So, you decide.
[exclaims softly]
[woman on phone]
Good evening, how may I help you?
No, what's the point now?
Almost everything's burned.
[Poncho groans]
-For God's sake!
-At least it didn't reach the engine.
It could have been worse.
But why are people like this?
Why did they do this to us?
Who knows? I really have no idea.
-[metal creaking]
-[Xiadani screams]
[exclaims] No! Damn it!
My God!
I can't believe it!
-Wake up, ladies and gentlemen!
-Silence.
-[Wences] What's going on?
-Nothing.
Please go back to sleep.
No, you'd better get up now.
So I'll be able to search
your rooms one by one.
If you'd tell me
what you're looking for
I already showed you the court order.
And they know perfectly well
what I'm looking for,
the little happy plants.
[Wences] No, there are no plants here.
The most they let us have is our medicine.
That remains to be seen.
You can't search anything of mine.
-Especially not my drawers.
-Why not?
I keep intimate things there.
If you have nothing to hide,
you have nothing to fear.
-Goodness! How dare you?
-Come here.
What's this?
Huh?
What's this?
Let me guess.
Don't tell me,
it's a special muffin from Mama Cake.
Right?
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Why not?
Will it make me high?
How long does it take to work?
It depends on each person's body.
I'm very constipated.
One little piece makes me run
to the bathroom in two minutes.
-To the bathroom?
-[Aurelia] Mmm-hmm.
Yes. Mrs. Aurelia is very constipated.
She just told you.
To take her laxatives,
she has to have them in a muffin.
They're so big
they look like suppositories.
And they're very strong.
-[laughs]
-Yeah, sure.
Jorge, wait.
Are the people who burned the truck
the same ones that took you?
Maybe.
What the hell have you got
my grandma into?
What's this about putting drugs in cakes?
I swear it's not like that.
It's not what you think.
-I'm going to fix the truck
-I'm going to tell you something.
If you don't tell my grandma
what you're doing with her business,
I'm going to tell her myself.
I'm not the same
since returning from the jungle.
[sirens wailing in distance]
[door closes]
Did you see her smile?
[laughing maliciously]
Really?
Who else?
Don't worry.
I'll take care of it.
[Cárdenas] Ah-ha!
What's this?
[groans]
Those are my tests for analysis.
No wonder you couldn't find them. [laughs]
[groans and farts]
[Aurelia laughs]
Just like me. Exactly the same.
Exactly.
[groaning]
No, don't even think about it!
Mr. Gollito has just gone in the bathroom,
and he takes at least 20 minutes.
[Cárdenas] A bathroom.
[Aurelia laughs]
You deserve an Academy Award, Aurelia.
Right?
The slimeball fell for it.
Yes, but the best part was,
"Don't even think
about searching my drawers."
[all laugh]
[Cárdenas grunts]
-[Wences] Hey, pay attention.
-[man 1] Yes.
[Wences] We can't rest on our laurels.
-Tomorrow we have to relocate the plants.
-[farting and groaning]
-[exclaiming]
-Can I count on you?
[Aurelia] Of course.
[man 2] Yes, of course.
[Wences] Let's get some rest, then.
To make a change.
[sighs] No way!
Mrs. Chivis.
Hello. What can I get you, young man?
Ponchito?
Goodness, you're so big!
What a surprise
to see you again, sweetheart.
Yes, I wanted to come and say hello
since I got out of reform school,
but this place brings back memories.
And, well, my mom
-Don't tell me.
-Yes.
Dear son, I'm so sorry.
Actually, I wanted to ask about Freddy.
Ah! My son hasn't worked
here with me for a while,
but he's still working very hard.
Okay.
And if this is not intrusive,
what is he doing?
He's working in a health product
distribution company.
I'd really like to visit him.
-If you could give me his address.
-Yes, I'll write it down.
Yes, here if you like. In my cell phone.
-Here it is.
-Look, how nice.
Here it is. It's very close.
You'll be there in no time.
Dear, follow my Freddy's example.
Don't turn into a thug.
[Hans] How is it possible
that this Mama Cake and her people
are carrying on business as usual?
Sir, I was about to eliminate
what appears to be her second,
but fucking Freddy here wouldn't let me.
It's all this asshole's fault.
[Freddy] I thought that the plan was just
to give them a warning.
A warning?
A warning would be to eliminate
at least half of their organization.
I told you.
What about retaliation?
Remember what they did to Morro.
AUGUS
MORRO
You're right.
We can't take any risks.
Well, there's no way around it.
If we want to get rid of this problem,
we eliminate them all.
All of them?
-Are you scared or what?
-No, I'm not scared.
[Hans] And if they fail again,
you, Freddy, will personally
take care of this.
You'll pay with your other hand, man.
Today, Mama Cake
and her people cease to be a problem.
-Understood?
-Yes, sir.
[sighs]
-Bonjour!
-Bonjour!
I'll be with you in a moment.
Madame, choose whatever you like.
It's on the house.
François, believe me it's not necessary.
[François] But I insist.
Yes, thanks to you,
this business has customers again.
I only did what any honest citizen
would have done. Report it.
But it was you
who took care of everything.
What brutes!
How bold and daring.
No, it was just a little warning.
Just a little warning?
No wonder they say that when it comes
to defending their cakes,
the French are very fiery.
Well, I hope we didn't overdo it.
How did it end?
In the trash.
I saw it this morning,
and I assure you that it was
totally unusable.
Don't say that.
Well, I hope it's fixable.
I hope it stays that way forever! [laughs]
Well, I've worked up an appetite.
I'm going to take some cupcakes.
Hello?
It was Gloria. I just confirmed it.
And I know who her accomplices were.
Where are you?
I followed her to the Tres Globos bakery.
They were the ones who burned our truck.
Are you sure?
As sure as my name's Xiadani.
Do you want me
to shop for gasoline and matches?
-We can't stand by and do nothing, right?
-No, of course not.
But we won't do something
as vulgar as what they did.
We're going to hit them
where it hurts them the most. Hmm?
I'm on my way.
[cell phone ringing]
Poncho
Answer
Poncho, stop bothering me
or I'm going to block you.
Nat, let me speak.
I need you to believe me.
I'm incapable of putting drugs
in my grandma's cakes.
If it wasn't you,
it was someone who works with her.
Yes.
I don't think it was your dad.
What does my dad have to do with all this?
Why mention him?
Because your dad
is in charge of the food truck.
Of course not.
My dad has nothing to do with that truck.
I was with him at the truck
just yesterday.
But I have an idea
about who could have done it.
I'm looking into it right now.
-That's what they said?
-Mmm-hmm.
"A little warning"?
They said exactly that.
Miserable jerks.
I'm going to make them
eat their words. Huh.
Do you want to see
how I play dirty too? Look.
María, where did you get that?
Nobody messes with Mama Cake
without suffering the consequences.
That's right, boss!
That's the María I want to hear!
The most important thing is to wait
until they have lots of customers.
-Preferably a lot of children.
-Children?
In every war,
there's always collateral damage.
[Xiadani chuckles]
[speaking French]
Good afternoon.
Bonjour, madame.
[in Spanish] How may I help you?
I'm here to place an order
for 1,000 people.
Come on, I'll show you what I need.
[spy music playing]
[Xiadani] Look, I'd like these jams.
-Are they organic?
-[François] Yes, of course.
-[Xiadani] Give me about 40.
-[François] All right.
[Xiadani] Five hundred shortbread cookies.
[François] Yes.
-[Xiadani] Two tres leches cakes.
-[François] Good.
-[Xiadani] For about 80 people.
-[François] Mmm-hmm.
[Xiadani] I would also like
Sweet Buns. Give me sweet buns.
Give me about 500 sweet buns.
And
What kind of rolls do you sell?
[François] Organic, natural.
-[Xiadani] Organic.
-[François] Okay.
[Xiadani] I just remembered
that it's for a diabetic conference.
Better not. Thank you.
What's up with you?
What did we do to make you screw us?
-Poncho, what are you doing here?
-I saw you.
I said nothing out of goodwill.
But what do you have against me
or my grandma?
-You must leave immediately.
-No, no way!
I'm not going until you explain, okay?
Or do you want your mom to know
the kind of job you have?
[sighs] You don't understand
what's going on.
You have to go.
Get out of the neighborhood
and take your grandma.
[scoffs] You want us to leave
to keep all the customers.
No. I just want to save your lives.
Why did you get into
the drug business, hmm?
What's wrong with you?
Answer me, man!
Why are you against my grandma?
Get out of here or I won't be responsible.
Are you for real?
Get out of here.
-Okay.
-Go away.
Hello.
Ah. How were your laxatives, officer?
You ate that muffin so eagerly.
Mmm. Don't worry, ma'am.
I hadn't eaten my fiber that morning.
You did me a favor.
Whenever you want,
I'll make you another one.
Damn.
Excuse Aurelia, officer.
She has a thing about cops.
-I love them.
-[Cárdenas] I see.
I have something important to tell you.
[Wences] Well, we're all ears.
We already told you
nobody's hiding anything here.
-[Wences] Pay attention.
-[man 1] Yes.
[Wences] We can't rest on our laurels.
Tomorrow we have to relocate the plants.
-Can I count on you?
-[Aurelia] Of course.
[man 2] Yes, of course.
[Wences] Let's get some rest, then.
To make a change.
[chuckles]
Where's your smile, Mrs. Aurelia?
Hmm? [chuckles]
Look, here's the deal.
Either hand over all the plants
that you have hidden
and we'll forget the matter,
or I arrange for you
to spend the rest of your days in jail.
And not just you.
Also María and her entire family.
What do you think?
[Aurelia exclaims]
I'm having a heart attack! [groaning]
Ma'am, your heart is on the other side.
Let's go.
[children shouting]
Ta-da!
Here they are!
Yuck!
[children gagging]
[children coughing and retching]
[François] Who put salt in them?
-Tell me what you put in them.
-No, a baker's secret.
[both laughing]
-Hello?
-[Wences] If you're with María,
don't say my name.
It's Wenceslao.
Not to worry you,
but there's something you need to know.
What's going on?
Your boyfriend,
Officer Cárdenas, was here.
He found out everything.
He took María's plants.
There are none left.
No, thank you very much.
I'm not interested in changing
telephone company. Bye.
They're so annoying, aren't they?
What a nuisance.
Hey, how about we make a little rice
with mole and salted beans to celebrate?
[laughs nervously]
Why don't you go ahead to the market
and I'll catch up with you?
I'm going to finish
some errands that I still have.
-Don't be long.
-No, I'll be right there.
Jorge, how
Leave that. How are you?
[Jorge] Good.
I want to use Poncho's absence
to talk about a something.
-You mean
-About the person responsible for this.
Good God.
I know you're going
through a difficult time in your marriage,
but forgive me for saying so,
nothing justifies being mistreated
like this by your wife.
-Sorry for interfering.
-Gloria didn't do this to me.
Jorge, you don't have
to act tough with me.
It's all right.
I know very well
what your wife is capable of.
Look, no, she didn't hit me.
It was the same guy who burned the truck.
-Huh? The French pastry chef?
-Yes.
Oh.
Come to think of it,
he did have a French accent.
-How did you know?
-Eh.
Because your wife hired him to do it.
Wait, no, María.
I don't know where you got that from,
but my wife is incapable of that.
[laughs] If she was capable
of sending him to burn our truck,
she's capable of anything.
-Are you sure?
-Xiadani followed her
and heard her talking about everything
with this François.
[exclaims]
Forgive me for what I am about to say.
It sounds very harsh, but it seems to me
that she's cheating on you.
Blue, this love is blue like the sea ♪
Blue ♪
I thought they were hired thugs
who wanted to put us out of business.
[sighs]
What I don't understand is
how your grandson found out
that we sell special cakes.
My grandson found out?
[gasps] No way.
[door opens and closes]
[Xiadani] Cárdenas, listen to me.
-You'll think I'm the worst person
-Okay, calm down.
No, I can't be calm.
I know you know our secret,
but before you put us in jail
Tell me something.
Why should I arrest you, huh?
For trying to help some elderly people
make their last days more pleasant?
Forget about it.
What's wrong?
I found my brother, Morro.
How
is he?
Dead.
Someone tipped off the DA's office.
They tortured him horribly
before killing him.
Look, I know that my brother wasn't
a good person and he did shady work,
but he didn't deserve
to die like that, right?
No.
And do you know who did it?
I've got my men investigating.
And you know what, Xiadani?
Sooner or later, I'll find them,
and those assholes are going to pay.
I swear by all that is sacred.
You hear me?
By all that's sacred.
[suspenseful music playing]
But why didn't you tell me about this?
-Well, I'm telling you now.
-What did you tell him?
-Nothing.
-What do you mean, nothing?
I said we'd talk to clarify the situation.
No, you have to deny everything!
María, your grandson thinks
I put marijuana in the cakes.
-Well, let him keep thinking it.
-No.
Don't you think it's about time
-that you face up to your responsibility?
-[door opens and closes]
-What can I do for you?
-You, nothing.
Why are you here?
All this time, not only have you been
sleeping with Ekaterina,
but you've also been
betraying me with María.
And you've been cheating on me
with the Frenchman.
-What Frenchman?
-[Jorge] Don't play dumb, Gloria!
María and Xiadani have been following you.
-Look, Dad, don't change the subject.
-Mmm-hmm.
Poncho told me
you're the one running the food truck.
Is that true?
Don't you think it's about time
that you face up to your responsibility?
Well, yes.
The business is María's, Xiadani's
and mine. What do you think of that?
So you put drugs in the cookies I ate?
No. No, sweetheart,
it's not like that, really.
I got kicked out of the army
because of you!
Jorge, Morro's corpse has turned up!
What the fuck
What corpse?
-[María] I'm glad you showed up.
-[Xiadani] No, we have a problem
It's a cake.
-No, Dad.
-What's this nonsense about a cake?
-It's a new line.
-It was a sample
-It's nothing.
-What do you mean, nothing?
[suspenseful music playing]
[cop] Madam, I'm sorry
that you don't like anything I say,
but I'm just doing my job.
Sure. And your job is
to harass innocent people.
The only thing I want you to understand
is that as long as she's free,
Mama Cake is a very dangerous old lady.
Old lady?
And the only thing
I want you to understand is
that age is not a barrier.
And as long as you keep learning,
you'll never be an old lady.
[suspenseful music continues]
No way. [grunts]
[grunting]
[gasping and yelling]
-[Jorge] You stay out of it.
-[Gloria] They're selling drugs.
[Natalia] What drugs?
Move.
-No!
-Oh my God!
No!
No!
[Lobo] Mama Cake,
Hans sends his regards.
Who is Hans?
How should I know?
It doesn't matter.
Come on, guys, this is as far as you go.
No!
WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR
THE STELLAR PERFORMANCE FROM
[theme music playing]