Masameer County (2021) s01e08 Episode Script

1
THIS PROGRAM IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
IT IS A WORK OF FICTION BASED ON REALITY
I'll explain to you today how to prepare
eggplant peels with shilajit twist.
It's a very low-calorie, healthy meal.
All we need is one eggplant.
But it has to be picked
from your own garden.
Eggplants from grocery stores
are filled with hormones and pesticides.
Do not ring the bell, man!
What are you, a masochist?
Wanna hear it
from that foul-mouth again?
No, man. Not that asshole!
Fine. See the car parked in front of you?
Place the order in the trunk and run.
Peel the eggplant.
Make the peels as thin as possible.
Save the peel and dispose of the rest.
Then bake in the oven for ten minutes.
Diner is ready.
Saad.
Taoussa.
Here. It's okay. Here.
Yuck!
Even Taoussa, the dimwit
who sniffs Pattax glue,
won't eat this crap.
And you, who are blessed with a brain,
you'll put this in your system. Why?
Abu Ghannam, have some compassion.
Look at my canine teeth.
You and Saltouh, do whatever you want,
but I need meat.
I'm a wolf species.
I cannot live off pumpkins and radishes.
-Stop, you disgusting being!
-I beg you!
One last lick!
I'm begging you, Saad!
Just one small piece.
Fuck off, both of you!
Patience, my friend.
You know that Abu Ghannam
succumbs to sudden obsessions.
Saltouh, trust me.
He'll be back to normal in a few days,
and we'll have all the meat we care for.
A few days?
Do you remember when he was obsessed
with meaningful movies?
We lived in hell for six months.
"THE WORST MOVIE IN HISTORY"
ROGER EBER
AL JEEK FOODS
What's happening?
Didn't I tell you not to contact me
after hours even if it's the apocalypse?
-Relax, sir.
-I was relaxing at home, you idiot!
NO SUGAR
NO SATURATED FATS
-What's this bullshit?
-Sir,
-Saad Ghannam has become--
-What? Speak up.
Sir…
I don't want to say it. It's an ugly word.
What ugly word?
Is he looking to replace us?
I wish he was, sir.
He's better off trying to replace us--
Speak up, boy or else!
Bless you, sir.
Saad has become…
vegetarian!
ALGHARBI
F--
Falafel, man!
CUCUMBER IN YOUR HAND
ORGANIC PRODUCE
Get two pounds of zucchini.
Guys, take the zucchini
from the bottom.
They're fresh.
Dalal!
Saad, you sent me videos
of your dishes, right?
Yes, I'm a big fan of yours!
-That fragrance--
-Broccoli No. 5.
Do you eat this plant?
Of course. It's a natural booster
of the immune system,
-and contains essential minerals…
-Essential minerals…
-…that preserve the muscles.
-…that preserve the muscles.
You said it's only temporary, right?
BEAUTY PARLOR
Trust me, the first branch I opened
in Riyadh wasn't even in Riyadh.
It was 24 miles away.
-In Al Majma'ah?
-Yes.
The daily sales there equal the sales
of 20 branches in Mecca.
Cut the crap, man!
Fine, if you don't believe me,
ask this old man.
He owns five branches in Riyadh.
Is what this liar says true?
What's your problem, man?
We lost market in Riyadh.
Stop it, man.
Is this about Abu Ghannam again?
Never mind, the sea is full of fish.
If you lost him, others will come.
-Chickens.
-What?
Say, "The farm is full of chickens."
Fine. The farm is full of chickens.
They're all traitors.
You waste years of your life
feeding and nurturing them.
Then as soon as some burger joint
opens somewhere,
they forget about you.
They discard you, just like that.
A girl.
-What?
-What?
He left me for a girl.
He became vegetarian.
No! If that's so,
then this is no laughing matter!
-Are you nuts? Why are you sitting here?
-What do you want me to do?
Dude, hop on the first plane to Riyadh
and get the boy back.
Are you gonna leave him
to that temptress?
Come on, get up!
In the name of Allah, the merciful.
Do you know how many calories
there are in a glass of water?
Huh?
Burn!
Burn!
Motherfucker,
there's nothing left to burn!
I force you to burn calories
for your own good.
May you burn in hell.
This situation is unbearable.
-Dude, what does the old man want?
-It's the old man form Al Jeek.
What do you want?
I want to talk to Saad.
There's no one here called Saad.
Leave.
I won't leave until Saad
comes out and talks to me.
Fuck off, you dumbass,
or I'll call the police.
What have you done?
He might convince Saad
and we can eat meat again.
These are temporary solutions, Trad.
I'm thinking long term.
Let the fucker get married
and leave the house.
-What?
-Even if we convince him to eat meat,
in the past, he was obsessed
with meaningful movies.
Now, he's become vegetarian.
Who's to say he won't become obsessed
with animal bestiality,
and you'll be done for, weakling?
Yes. So if you don't want
to become a casualty,
we have to work with Dalal.
So we have two solutions
and they're both bitter.
Either I risk my honor,
or I have to work with…
a woman.
GOLDEN CAULIFLOWER
I'm very excited
about our future together…
mother of Ghannam.
Mother of Ghannam?
You already chose our son's name?
Yes, Ghannam is the name of my father,
may his soul rest in peace.
May he rest in peace. When did he die?
No, he's not dead.
The fucker's very much alive.
But he's dead to me.
Then why name our son after him
if you hate him?
My father is a butcher
and owns a butchery.
So I'll name my son after him,
and tell him off every day.
Saad, we need to cancel the engagement.
What?
Let's get married tomorrow.
Mother of Ghannam!
I love you, Abu Ghannam.
And I adore you.
Eat well, my boy.
Enjoy your food.
Eat, sweetie. Eat.
Excuse me, darling.
I'll go to the bathroom.
I'm getting married tomorrow.
And if you don't want me
to take this to court,
I don't want to see your face ever again.
Give me one minute, Saad.
If not for me,
then for what's in your tummy, Saad.
What's that I hear?
The chicken wings, the drumsticks,
the chicken nuggets.
We have history, Saad.
In my tummy?
In my tummy, there is guacamole
and avocado.
Do you know when the last time
I ate your stinking chicken was?
March 21st at 9:00 p.m.
You bought the family bucket
with 43 pieces. Regular, not spicy.
You haven't forgotten?
Because I'm loyal, Saad.
I would never show you love
while secretly hating you.
It was a beautiful day.
Beautiful days await us, boy.
Enough with this weakness,
and come back with me.
We'll have the best of times together.
No!
-Get away from me!
-What's wrong, Saad?
You do not care about me.
You only care about sales and money.
And is that a problem, Saad?
Love built on common interests lasts.
Dalal's love for me is unconditional.
Unconditional?
Then take this with you.
Eat it in front of her.
And tell me then
if her love is unconditional.
Please, Saad.
You know what?
Even if Dalal leaves me tomorrow,
I'll never eat your chicken again
for one simple reason.
I do not want to end up a gray old man,
fat and disgusting like you.
Get out of my life!
LAST BANK
BANK SOLUTIONS
Guys, are you sure this is a good idea?
Go on, Abu Ghannam.
You have no other choice.
GET YOUR LOAN NOW!
I told you several times that you can't
get a loan if you don't have a salary.
Thanks. We just had lunch.
Open it.
Goddamn you! What is this?
My kidney.
We'll buy it for 45.
Deal.
The first witness?
-That's me, sir.
-Your ID.
SAAD & DALAL
The second witness.
It's me, sir.
Why not?
Are you British, Trad?
Yes, sir. I was born in Sussex.
Wonderful. And you speak our language?
I grew up on an estate in Al Bijadiyah.
Sign here, Saad.
Hello?
Yes, this is he.
What?
Liar!
It's all my fault!
It's all my fault!
It's all my fault!
It's all my fault!
Break the ice, Saltouh.
It is said that a skinny monkey
wakes up every morning
to go to his family's house.
The problem is that there is a forest
between his house and his family's.
And in the forest, lives an evil lion.
Every time he passes through the forest,
the lion stops him and says, "Listen!
You have two choices…"
I've been told today was…
ATTORNEY
RECONCILIATION - DESTROYING FAMILIES
But death doesn't ask for permission.
I met him yesterday, and he was fine.
Heart attack.
I killed him.
You didn't, man. Have faith.
Enough, Saad.
What was your relationship
to the deceased, Saad?
We were friends. No more, no less.
Because I was honestly surprised…
He has sons, and the least accomplished
among them is a neurosurgeon.
But he still left you everything he owned.
What?
Saad?
His Al Jeek restaurants are now yours.
He loved you more than his own sons.
I won't congratulate you, Saad.
Al Jeek restaurants are a mission,
not an honor.
Here's the property transfer paperwork.
Sign here and here, Saad.
Congratulations.
And here are
the Al Jeek restaurants' debts.
29 million and 55,000.
-Riyals or dollars?
-You can do it, Elon Musk!
How can I pay a debt of 29 million?
Which brings us to the next contract.
This is an offer from an investor
to buy the Al Jeek restaurants
for 29 million and 10,000 riyals.
You mean the debt will be settled?
Almost. Only a small debt will remain.
45,000 riyals.
But I only have the dowry money.
-How much?
-45,000.
Awesome. Hand it over.
And now you break even.
Off you go.
This cake is delicious.
Marvelous, right?
Unbelievable.
Abu Ghannam.
That's your fourth serving, right?
Your face is round
and your cheeks are all puffed up.
Where did the pumpkin
and rocket leaves and shilajit go?
It doesn't matter anymore.
My beloved has left me,
and my friend is dead.
God rest his soul. That's death, Saad.
If not on the field of battle, he dies
in the restroom of the Golden Cauliflower.
How did you know he died in the restroom
of the Golden Cauliflower?
Good question, Abu Ghannam.
But I have a better question.
We've been eating this fancy food
for six months.
Where did the money come from?
What?
I'll give you a hint.
A wooden box filled with flowers.
The dowry money.
And since you're in a state of shock…
take that as well.
Someone wants to talk to you.
I tricked you, Romeo! I tricked you!
MASAMEER COUNTY
Subtitle translation by: Muriel Daou