Masters of Sex s01e08 Episode Script
Love and Marriage
Previously on "Masters of Sex" Libby, we have a family.
Just the two of us That's enough for me.
We can resume the capping with Bill's frozen sperm, but he knows the odds are essentially a million to one.
If he thinks I've intervened, he will have my head.
Aren't you worried leaving me alone in your apartment? Should I be? My last girlfriend, she didn't like spending the night.
I had my heart broken.
- Is it over between you two? - That's the past.
You, me that's the future.
Virginia.
Dr.
DePaul.
Whom we were lucky enough to lure away from Cornell.
I'm going to start a clinical outreach program.
That could save millions of women's lives.
I know I don't have an M.
D.
, but I do know which strings to pull around here to get things done.
$12,000 for the first 6 months.
Can you pull those strings? - Mrs.
Scully? - Oh, Dr.
Langham, w-what a nice surprise.
I've never had any secrets from him.
But now I have you, and I want to tell everyone.
- But you won't, right? - This is complicated for me.
I mean, I love my wife.
We should undertake the research with each other.
- We could go out for a bite.
- I can't.
I'm meeting Libby for a late dinner.
All right, then.
Season 1, Episode 8 "Love and Marriage" - Well, did he say anything to you? - Jane, don't worry.
He thinks You're a good secretary.
Well, he doesn't seem happy at all.
Dr.
Masters rarely seems happy with anyone.
Now, there are a few things Minor things.
For example, when Dr.
Masters says "It's getting late," what he really means is "You're staying late.
" So I shouldn't ask if I'm staying? No, just assume that you are.
What he really expects of you is to act like a seismometer, registering his unspoken vibrations from miles away.
Okay.
And he's very fussy about his desk, as you know.
So, just remember, mail gets stacked on the left, coffee on the right, and no stray paper clips anywhere, ever.
- No paper clips.
- Ever.
- And no mayonnaise.
- On his desk? No, on his pressed ham sandwich or any sandwich.
He'd prefer there were a law against mayonnaise.
No mayonnaise, paper clips, or questions.
- That's right.
He's an odd one, Dr.
Masters, but at least he's not like my cousin Mae's boss.
She kept me on the phone for two hours last night crying.
Crying? Mae devoted her entire life to Mr.
Burwell That's his name.
Did everything he asked Typing, filing, late-night sex on the mimeograph.
Basically put all of her eggs in his basket, until one day, his wife got wind, and Mae was o-u-t No severance, no letter of recommendation.
He didn't just fire her.
He rubbed her out of existence.
That sounds a little extreme.
Actually, it's the oldest story in the book.
He was married, he felt guilty, so she paid the price.
Anyway, do you want to try the new snack shack for lunch? Oh, I'd love to, but I have some work to finish up at lunch.
Mrs.
Masters? I'm Walter.
The handyman, Walter.
You called me about the gutters? Of course.
I'm so sorry.
Um From your voice on the phone, I-I Thought you were older.
It's it's this way.
Please.
Come in.
Thank you.
Let me find you the key to the shed.
- Can I get you a lemonade or? - No, thank you.
You probably think it's silly to hire someone to clean your gutters.
It's usually the husband's job.
Mine works so hard, I can't remember the last time he got around to it.
Well, I did check them before I knocked.
I'd say he was last up there around D-Day.
Actually, I think Hoover was still president.
You can return these when you're finished.
Yes, ma'am.
Dr.
Johnson.
Dr.
DePaul.
I was wondering if I might take a moment of your time.
I'm busy.
Oh, I can see that, but they look like they could wait.
Did you know every teaching hospital in the country assigns the bodies donated to science a number? Meaning the students have no connection to the dead.
Instead, I ask families to tell me names, stories, anything about their loved one, so that my students will understand this was once a human being.
Well, I hope you can be as generous with me.
I want to complete my undergraduate degree, and one of the requirements for a B.
S.
Is basic anatomy your class.
But since I've logged so many hours with Dr.
Masters and learned so much about anatomy already, I-I was hoping I could place out of your class.
Why would you want a degree? You're doing fine using your other assets.
Because I'd like to avoid comments like that in the future.
Look, there's obviously no love lost between us, so wouldn't it just be easier No.
No, you cannot place out of my class.
Well, can I at least get partial credit for my work with Dr.
Masters? No.
Well I suppose I'll see you in class then.
With service to pueblo, Colorado, with stops in Kansas City, Wichita, and La Crosse, now boarding on platform C.
All aboard.
Hi.
I'm, uh Canceling these tickets, sir.
The Abraham Lincoln southbound from Chicago - Here you are.
- Thank you.
The train will arrive in one hour on platform A.
Austin.
Margaret.
I was, uh, wondering if we could have We need to talk.
Uh, all right.
Uh I-I'm, uh, beginning to have second thoughts about our going away tonight.
In in fact, I'm I'm having second thoughts about a number of things.
You mean about us seeing each other? Well, Margaret, that is a blow.
But, of course, if if you've made up your mind I respect your decision.
Of course.
Having your respect is what matters most.
Well, I-I-it came to me as I was I was sitting here, waiting for you, thinking how I told my dear husband I was going to visit aunt Caroline, an aunt he he knows I haven't seen in 10 years.
And and I I realized I was gonna be stuck with that aunt Caroline story forever.
And This was never anything more than a casual fling, anyway.
Was it? I will always think of you with With such affection, Margaret.
Of course.
"Elevations of systolic pressure are between 30mm to 80mm.
" "Diastolic pressure elevations are usually in the range of 20mm to 40mm.
" "With minimal-intensity orgasmic experience," "diastolic pressure readings essentially may be unaffected.
" I would read it with more conviction at the actual presentation.
Well, you could read it with a monkey on your hat.
I'm not sure that changes the basic fact that What, I-it's it's boring? Isn't this why doctors publish their findings in scientific journals, where it's supposed to be boring? I don't want to introduce our work in a paper.
I want to use the Friday presentations.
I agree, but to stand up there and read a list of statistics, it's it's not exactly going to set the world or the Friday meetings on fire.
We're scientists Not arsonists.
Yes, but don't you think w-we should start with one of our more dynamic findings, like Vaginal contractions? Every woman, myself included, has experienced them, but nobody knows they exist.
And we will present that how? We know they exist because we've watched them, but you can't wire up a vagina for graphical verification.
And so the medical community is left taking our word for it.
Do you know what we need? Home movies.
I use a Brownie to film the kids' school plays and birthdays.
And so the minute we work out how to, uh, fit a Brownie into a woman's vagina, our problem is solved.
Uh, I think the male subject's refractory period is resolving.
If so, the time between resolution and a secondary arousal is 16 minutes, 33 seconds.
You don't trust my timing? I'm expected home.
And I know you're trying to spend more time with Libby in the evenings, so - Uh, yes.
Of course.
- You're right, uh I lost track of the time.
I mean, we have all the data we need, right? I-I'll see you in the morning.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Hey, kids! - Daddy! Guess who I ran into at the hospital today.
Santa Claus! In March? - A machine gun! - A lady Alice doll! - Bam! Bam! Bam! - Stop that.
Stop it.
Elise, darling, for you.
It's a Hoover constellation vacuum.
Top of the line.
It actually floats on air, like a hovercraft.
- Don't shoot! - Thank you, dear.
Some poor woman is in tears.
Another, please.
She's late, is she? Isn't everybody always late? And everything is late Too late.
Too, too late.
You picked the only nice place in town for a proper drink.
I can see you're not a regular here.
Oh, does my jacket look like it's from Bull Shoals, Arkansas? Because you are? I moved to St.
Louis with a friend a year ago.
A friend? I like that.
Are you living in sin with this friend? Is she pressuring you to marry? We don't see each other anymore.
Yes.
That's going around.
Seems to be a minor epidemic.
Hope you have a pleasant evening.
Are you waiting for Barton? I was just talking to your friend Dale.
Uh, Dale is a student in my graduate advisory.
He has a very bright future in pathology.
- Does he? - Yeah.
I thought you were at a board meeting tonight.
Canceled.
And aunt Caroline? Sick.
The provost was nice enough to call me last minute, offer to advise me on next year's courses over drinks.
But now that you're here, I-I think I'll leave you two to a quiet evening.
- Yes, let's reschedule.
- Oh, no.
I insist you join us.
No, I really can't intrude.
I do have a new girl now, and she'll be thrilled if I show up, surprise her, take her to a show.
- May I say something to you? - Margaret, the boy wants to go.
No, I want Dale to hear this.
I'm very fond of Dale, despite our very brief friendship.
Stay single.
I only say this to you because when you're young and in love, everyone thinks they'll be the exception.
Sure, maybe mom and dad slept in separate beds, and then separate rooms.
Maybe the older couples you know bicker or fight Maybe don't talk at all, if they ever did.
But at your age, you can't imagine it will ever be you.
But it will be.
Which is bad enough, but what's even worse Is how much you'll feel like a failure Because when the person who knows you best loses interest, that really takes something out of you.
Like surgery almost.
And you really start to wonder If you'll ever be whole again.
Anyway I'm babbling.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
What in God's name? I was just sitting here.
She started talking to me.
I That boy, Barton, is not a graduate student.
Dale gets me women Professional women.
I came here tonight to meet a prostitute.
It's not the first time I've done this.
And now that that ugly secret is out in the open, maybe we should go in on a room together with whoever you're here to fuck! I I'll get myself home.
Obviously, there's a great deal of overlap between the digestive and the endocrine But before we explore the similarities, let me make my policy on punctuality perfectly clear It's mandatory.
I apologize I'm late, Dr.
DePaul.
Dr.
Johnson's sorry.
Who can identify this organ? Mr.
Deasy? - Liver.
- Spleen.
No, Mr.
Deasy.
It's the spleen.
Which will be on the exam, gentlemen, so I suggest you wake up.
Mr.
Banks? Lester? - Lester?! - Jesus! Dr.
Masters.
I thought you were Nosferatu.
The Akeley pancake camera, used to shoot the first full-length documentary, "Nanook of the North.
" Arriflex 35 Same camera they used to shoot "Dark Passage" with Bogie and Bacall.
Piece of garbage.
I mean, in what universe is Agnes Moorhead the killer? And what is, uh What is this? It's a lesterscope Patent pending.
I, uh, like to tinker.
Five hours ago, that baby was down the throat of a Chinaman with an esophageal tumor.
It's been sterilized.
And this device shoots film? I-I wouldn't shoot a Western with it, but sure.
Can I count on your discretion, Lester? Because what I'm proposing is not like the cesarean footage you shot for me last month.
I'm now conducting some, uh Unusual medical research.
And I could use someone with your particular expertise.
What is it? It's a lens, essentially.
Cold light illumination? I'm a bit of a tinkerer myself.
My question for you, Lester, is can you turn that lens into a functional and fully operational movie camera? You can't have one without the other Love and marriage Love and marriage It's an institute you can't disparage Ask the local gentry And they will say it's elementary Try, try, try to separate them It's an illusion Try, try, try, and you will only come To this conclusion Love and marriage Love and marriage Go together like a horse and carriage Dad was told by mother You can't have one, you can't have none You can't have one without the other I'd like to take you out tonight A date.
Jack Lemmon and Judy Holliday are playing at the Everstone.
Y-you want to take me to the drive-in? Gutters are as good as new, ma'am.
Uh, except your son's been missing this.
Uh, would you like to settle up now or? Of course.
I'll get your money.
Something wrong? Uh, no.
Not at all.
I've, uh I've always loved these ein houses.
I just never met anybody who actually lived in one.
You're an architecture buff? I spend all day fixing up folks' houses.
You pick things up.
Do you know anything about plumbing? There's a leaky faucet in the bathroom that's driving us crazy.
Sure.
I don't normally watch television during the day.
I just happen to be an Arthur Murray fan.
So was my wife.
Uh, she'd, uh, watch, and insist that we go dancing every Saturday night to try to do them one better.
- Are you going this Saturday? - No, I'm not.
Uh, my wife, she passed.
Uh, she got sick unexpectedly.
I'm so sorry.
It's easier if you think less.
- Yes.
I've found that to be true.
- About the dancing.
Now, when I was outside, I could see you were counting beats.
- Oh.
- You've got to think with your feet.
Now, what they're doing right now, that's called the tango.
That first step's a little tricky, but you go slow, slow, quick, quick, slow.
That's the pattern.
- Can you do it? Oh, please.
- Oh, it it's been a long time.
Okay.
Try closing your eyes.
- I should hire you to be my teacher.
- No, I I mean it.
We could watch the show and practice the steps.
Then I'd have something to dazzle my husband with some Saturday night at the Imperial.
Ah, I couldn't take money for that, ma'am.
Why not? It's just another odd job.
Now, see? You're still counting.
Steak sandwich? Thanks, Viv.
I had resigned myself to Welsh rarebit.
Instead, I got steak.
- Hey, I got a question for you.
- Hmm? Where can a guy find a decent ring? - Don't tell me you knocked her up.
- What? No.
But Vivian and I have been seeing each other a while now.
I think it's time to start considering the future.
- Why would you do that? - Because My old man was 20 when he married my mother.
I'm pushing 30.
And I've sown my oats.
Maybe more than my share.
Married men live longer.
- Definitely feels longer.
- There are great tax benefits.
And every man who's ever amounted to anything had a wife at home.
of the United States, and only one of them was a bachelor, and no one remembers his name.
James Buchanan.
Friends come and go.
Kids grow up and move away.
Even your patients can get a second opinion.
But your wife She's the one that sticks beside you, no matter your faults And failings.
I've met Elise.
She she's a lovely woman.
And with all respect, you're not exactly husband of the century.
You're lucky Elise has hung in there.
You ought to buy her something.
I bought her a vacuum.
She didn't care that it hovered.
You ought to buy her something nice.
To show her that loyalty and devotion are still appreciated in this world.
There is a decent jeweler over on Washington.
I know they film the outside of vaginas in those kinds of films, but filming the inside? I don't think I've ever heard of that.
Because it's never been done before.
And to think it could be you on the cutting edge of science.
- I think it's creepy.
- Creepy? Why? Is it creepy to film a heart during a bypass? It's done all the time now.
Besides, nobody will even know it's you.
It will just look like an anonymous organ.
Like One of those hand models in those ads for dish soap? Yes, exactly, but for something slightly more important than sparkling China.
In high school, I was voted most likely to be in pictures.
See? Not only is it not creepy, it was meant to be.
But anyone who's anyone in movies always has a screen name.
Okay, then, you can have a screen name, too.
Beave St.
Marie.
I gave it a complete overhaul and retrofitted it with a relay lens system.
- And it shoots in color? - At 24 frames per second.
You know, a lot of movie directors invent their own cameras Georges Méliès, Orson Welles.
Not that I'd compare myself to Welles, but - No? - Stylistically, I'm closer to Hitchcock.
Does Ulysses still have a vibrating function? I had to disable it.
Why would a camera have a vibrating function? That would ruin the focus.
The vibrating sensation helps some women achieve orgasm.
Lester Linden, our documentarian, this is patient F-26-002.
- Pleasure.
- Ma'am.
Okay, then.
Guess I'm ready for my close-up.
She controls the device, but you control the camera.
Now, the trick here will be focus.
Vaginas don't bite.
Tell me when to start.
When should she start, Lester? You're the director.
Action.
I fear Lester may have been in over his head tonight.
So to speak.
Well, I suppose all we can do is wait and see what "hitch" comes back with.
We still have time to get some work in.
Uh, actually, I was hoping we might postpone our session until tomorrow night.
Because? It turns out I have something to do tonight.
Dr.
Lloyd Danes.
79 years old.
He and wife Susan had four children, nine grandchildren.
An ophthalmologist, a fly fisherman.
He played the accordion every Saturday night at Dooleyâs.
Can you play the accordion, Mr.
Deasy? - No, ma'am.
- I didn't think so.
Ladies first.
Smelling salts for Mr.
Banks, please.
Well, anyhow, I can tell everything about a person from their canceled checks.
- Can you tell about me? - Everything.
- Everything? - Everything.
Well Is it all right? Well, yes.
You're frivolous, romantic, generous, somewhat over-impulsive.
You're ambitious.
You're a little scatterbrained.
You also have a weakness Why do you keep looking at me? Because I'd take you over Judy Holliday any day.
Do you know how many times in our marriage I've wondered if you were insane? But you taking me here, now, given everything This is proof.
More proof.
We didn't have drive-ins in our day.
We didn't need them.
We were married when we first slept together.
- We were of our time.
- That's not why we waited.
Barton I-I have spent the day racking my brains, pacing, wondering "Maybe I should light his clothes on fire.
" "Maybe I should drive his car into the pool.
" "Maybe I should tell him all about the man I've been seeing," who, by the way, wanted me in his bed, though he didn't love me.
- Marg Margaret - I don't say this to punish you, although God knows you deserve to be punished.
I mean, prostitutes? That is so insulting to me and so far beneath you.
I will I will I will never do it again ever.
I swear to you.
Even if you never laid a hand on a hooker again, that wouldn't change what is so impossible to understand.
This morning, when you came in my room, I was practically naked, and you didn't look at my body once.
Not once.
And yet your face was filled with such Love.
Because I love you.
You know that.
We didn't sleep together before we were married because you weren't interested in sleeping with me.
And I excused it away by saying passion is for teenagers and nymphomaniacs.
Passion is not what makes a good marriage.
This is a perfect, beautiful man who loves me, who doesn't care that I'm tall and athletic, who doesn't Doesn't want me to act stupider than I am.
This is a man who understands me.
And 30 years later, we're still the best of friends.
How many people can say that? It's not enough.
- We have to divorce.
- What?! - Absolutely not! - We have to.
Margaret I'm the person who knows you best.
I know you don't want a divorce.
- But this is broken.
- And I do not want a divorce.
- Barton.
- So we're not getting divorced.
This marriage of ours is broken.
And unless you want me to break along with it You have to let me go.
It wasn't very long after I met Nina that she got her promotion Her first chance to write a radio show.
I thought only students haunted the library at this hour.
I found our work tonight with Dr.
Danes very exciting.
The accordionist/ ophthalmologist.
If you'll excuse me, I need to prepare for my presentation tomorrow.
The pap-smear proposal? Dr.
Masters is planning to be there.
Well, that makes one.
Have you ever seen a roomful of male doctors listen to a lecture on female cancers? They're not exactly riveted? Not exactly.
Men are such idiots.
Even the smart ones.
You should ask a friend to go and clap loudly.
Uh, sometimes a-a ringer helps.
I don't want their adulation.
I just want them to support me.
This work is very important to me.
Then I'm sure it will go your way.
Lower thoracic? You should be much further along than that.
Underestimate my exam at your own peril.
I wouldn't be here at this hour if I underestimated your exam.
Teardrops are popular.
What color are your wife's eyes? Brown.
Uh, more green, maybe? Let's say hazel.
In which case, you can't go wrong with emeralds.
What about this one? What is that 1/10 of a carat? You'll have to buy her a microscope to go with that.
No, let's see, um Let's see this one.
Remember, the ring's supposed to cost at least two months' salary.
I'm still a fellow.
You know what they pay me.
I was in med school when I proposed to Elise Actually hocked my car to buy her a ring.
I was gonna take her to Chez nous, get the chef to stick it in a cream puff.
But she swallowed it? I missed the date.
There was a stomach bug going around.
She found me passed out on the bathroom floor.
She drove me to the emergency room.
So there I was, okay? I was oh, thank you Sprawled on a gurney, and the ring falls out of my coat pocket.
Well, I could barely sit up.
But I said to her, "Everything I own is in that ring.
" "And it's yours if you'll take me.
" Everybody in the E.
R.
applauded.
Do you have a layaway plan? There's a popular misconception the pap smear requires costly equipment and lots of training to administer Training you won't find outside a world-class hospital like this one.
Well, it seems expensive now, but don't forget, a ring lasts forever.
It's teachable, and it saves women's lives.
And Vivian will be thrilled.
Women always are At the beginning.
Next slide, please.
Next slide! This sample was taken from a 42-year-old patient with no family history of malignancy.
Note the poorly differentiated cells Stage iv cervical cancer.
With early screening, this woman could have been cured.
Instead, she has early metastases to the liver.
Would anyone care to venture a prognosis? She's terminal, obviously.
Which is why it's incumbent on hospitals like this one to lead the charge in Pap test education.
What I'm proposing is a pilot program to train country doctors to become proficient in deduction How 'bout that Dr.
DePaul? Guaranteed cure for insomnia.
Treatment for their patients once the results have been determined.
The possibility The truth is, I can feel resistance to my plan already.
You saw that room.
And the administration is already rumbling there's insufficient funding for my proposal.
Funding A process that will leave you feeling like the Minotaur in the maze.
I have six months.
Funding can take years.
Hmm.
You seem to have gotten your study funded quickly enough.
My study is mainly paid out of pocket mine.
Including Mrs.
Johnson's salary? Primarily.
She functions as more than a secretary, but the hospital won't subsidize her for her research work because she's uncredentialed.
It galls me to say it, but she may be one of my better students.
Her credential might not be far off.
She's doing well, then? Exam's tomorrow.
We'll see.
The bottom line is, I need to push my proposal through, I need to do it now, and I'm not going to be shy about asking for your help.
I'm ready to head to room 5 now.
You? I've been, uh I've been thinking about something.
Uh, you've mentioned several times about continuing Your education.
Yes, uh Your your point was always that the timing was off.
Hmm.
But it's important to you.
Then if you want to pick up a class here and there in the evenings, I won't object.
You've been talking to Dr.
DePaul? No.
I'm actually sitting in on her anatomy class.
Taking it, in fact, for credit Now.
Excellent.
Um, of course, you could have told me, but, uh How's it going? W-we have our first big test tomorrow.
Well, you should be at home, studying.
Uh, w-we can resume our work tomorrow night.
- Are you sure? - Very sure.
I can't I can't tell you how much that means to me, Bill.
- Well - Thank you.
And I will never let my classes interfere with our work here.
Good luck tomorrow.
The heart? No, it's in his head.
Right temporal fossa.
Good.
I don't know why you're even doing this.
To get a degree.
I explained that to you, didn't I? Icky blue vein? No? But why do you need a degree when you already have a job? Because, uh, a degree is like magic.
You still do your job, but when you have a degree, people believe you know what you're talking about.
So, it's like they can see you better? Yes, in fact.
And it's why you two are going to go to college one day, so people see you right from the start.
Will you still be in college when we go there? At this rate, probably.
Inferior vena cava.
Good job, mom.
I'm glad you came back, although I thought these earrings were for your wife.
My wife doesn't appreciate my gifts anymore.
That's just wrong A man so romantic and generous.
You know, when you slipped that ring on my finger today My stomach got that roller-coaster feeling.
- You know why? - Why? Because that moment, that is the moment.
That is the moment when everything is good.
Half-day? Uh, for us both, it seems.
How are you progressing with the sex study? Very well.
We've amassed an unprecedented amount of data.
We've killed a few sacred cows along the way.
We've opened up many new doors.
It's, uh Well, it's ground-breaking work.
I think a presentation is not too far in the future.
I look forward to it.
Have you come across any information about people's abilities to change their sexual habits? - I-I only ask - I know why you're asking.
Uh, I've run across a few treatments.
Uh, I can't verify they work.
I've also been doing some reading.
Apparently, there's, uh Aversion therapy - And electroshock.
- Jesus, Barton.
Wha I do know a psychologist in New York, Dr.
Sandor Rado.
He's been touting something he calls "Adaptational Psychodynamics.
" Sounds like something Pavlov did to dogs.
It's a form of aversion therapy.
Patient's given a drug Apomorphine.
It induces nausea while the patient engages in the behavior that he wishes to change.
The hope is the brain rewires itself to perceive the activity it used to enjoy as, uh repulsive.
I wish I could be of more help.
You're standing here.
That's enough.
Dr.
DePaul, if I can bend your ear? Are you ready to hatch a plan to raid the hospital's coffers? It's about, uh, a smaller matter.
Uh, Mrs.
Johnson might come to you to, uh, sign up for another class.
Um, I would appreciate it if you would tell me if she does.
You can't ask her yourself? Mrs.
Johnson has a tendency to overfill her plate.
Her work on the study is time-consuming Uh, important.
Her course work is getting in the way? Well, the study needs to be a priority.
Because if she did manage to stand on her own two feet, that would mean she could walk away.
Fine.
You help me, I'll help you.
Save my spot, will you? I have a little something I want to - Good morning.
- Good morning.
How do you feel about German? The language? Good housekeeping has a schnitzel recipe that I thought I could come around and cook for you tonight.
Actually, I have plans tonight.
And so do you.
I'm taking you out, someplace special.
- Where are we going? - Top secret.
Wear a dress.
Ooh, tea length or floor length? Surprise me.
But is the restaurant formal? Should I wear gloves? - It's Delmonicoâs.
- Delmonico's?! My cousin Frances went to Delmonicoâs with a boyfriend, and she came back with a fiancé.
Really?! All the girls in the dorm call it "The Hitching Post.
" Should I be getting a manicure or something to show off tomorrow? A manicure is never a bad idea.
Is it a brilliant cut or an emerald cut? - The diamond.
- I-I don't know.
W-well, they're completely different styles.
One's round.
The other's rectangular.
- I-I think it's kind of football shaped.
- A marquise cut? I suppose I'd have to look.
Yes! Yes, I'll marry you! Oh, my God! I have to call my mother! Hey, doc.
You're up.
Dr.
Langham.
I was wondering if a new bone disease had been discovered, we hadn't seen you in so long.
I want back in the study.
That, um issue I was dealing with that time before, it's no longer an issue.
Oh, meaning you want back in the study with Jane? It doesn't have to be Jane.
No, you and Bill have a study to run.
I understand that.
Whoever you want to put me with is fine.
In fact, I'm open to anyone, everyone.
I know it's all in the service to science.
Right.
Well, yeah, we could always use good subjects.
I'm better than good.
I'm back.
Excuse me.
Then I'll sign you up.
One of the perks of being a doctor I can let myself into the dispensary anytime I want.
- But the point of this drug - Apomorphine.
Is to make you sick? I take it, and you Pleasure yourself.
Maybe just sit there.
Point is, I look at you, I get sick, and then I'm cured of this terrible habit.
I don't know.
It doesn't seem right.
I'm paying you.
I don't think that's the point! It is the point.
It's why you're here, isn't it? If I stopped paying, it's not as if you'd ask to see me again.
- I like your company.
- Oh, don't hustle me.
Who says it's a hustle? Because there is no universe where you and I are anything other than a business transaction! I'll pay you double Triple, whatever you want.
Don't make me beg for this.
I'm just trying to picture it.
I sit across from you, and you vomit.
Hell, if I wanted that reaction, I could just go home and visit my parents.
I'm not proud of this! I mean Do I look in the mirror and wish that I was someone else? Maybe once a day.
But then I think Fuck them.
I mean it.
Fuck them! Don't be a child.
Because I'm the one cowering in a dark room like a baby? No.
There's only one person that gets to be sickened by me.
And that's me.
Everybody else They can go fuck themselves.
You should change your mind.
When you do, you know where to find me.
Look at this.
Somebody's gonna have to give me lessons.
I hope my wife is watching, because she would be proud of this tango.
You know, I heard somewhere your feet can cover five miles in a night of dancing.
And I figured my wife and I must have danced the tango from here to Zanzibar.
What a lovely story.
Mrs.
Masters? Mrs.
Masters?! - You're sure I can't call your husband? - Oh, I feel fine.
And I don't want to worry him till we know what's going on.
You were so good to bring me, Walter, but y-you don't have to stay.
I don't have anywhere to be.
Mrs.
Masters? I'll be quick.
You can have your boy bring the car around.
Oh, he's not my boy, he's, um Uh, he's the handyman.
I'll wait outside.
Well, I think we found our culprit.
Your blood pressure is 100/65.
That's very low.
Yes, but a little hypotension is nothing to fret about.
It's your hormones.
They cause your blood vessels to widen, increase the blood flow to the baby.
To the We see it all the time in the first trimester.
It's harmless.
So long as you don't get too dizzy, your pregnancy should proceed without any problems at all.
How did your exam go? I have no idea.
You should see the other students in the class.
I am quite the outsider in that world.
In many worlds, I suppose.
Not here.
I'm not even sure I'll keep taking classes.
We're plenty busy here.
Well, whatever you decide.
It's up to you.
I thought you disabled the vibrating function.
I did.
That's Lester's hands shaking.
Well, in his defense, I don't think he's ever seen the outside of a vagina, let alone the inside of one.
I think that's the refractory period ending.
The time between resolution and secondary arousal I cannot believe you find this footage arousing.
No, it's not the footage.
It's the fact that we're the only two people in the world who've seen it.
Just the two of us That's enough for me.
We can resume the capping with Bill's frozen sperm, but he knows the odds are essentially a million to one.
If he thinks I've intervened, he will have my head.
Aren't you worried leaving me alone in your apartment? Should I be? My last girlfriend, she didn't like spending the night.
I had my heart broken.
- Is it over between you two? - That's the past.
You, me that's the future.
Virginia.
Dr.
DePaul.
Whom we were lucky enough to lure away from Cornell.
I'm going to start a clinical outreach program.
That could save millions of women's lives.
I know I don't have an M.
D.
, but I do know which strings to pull around here to get things done.
$12,000 for the first 6 months.
Can you pull those strings? - Mrs.
Scully? - Oh, Dr.
Langham, w-what a nice surprise.
I've never had any secrets from him.
But now I have you, and I want to tell everyone.
- But you won't, right? - This is complicated for me.
I mean, I love my wife.
We should undertake the research with each other.
- We could go out for a bite.
- I can't.
I'm meeting Libby for a late dinner.
All right, then.
Season 1, Episode 8 "Love and Marriage" - Well, did he say anything to you? - Jane, don't worry.
He thinks You're a good secretary.
Well, he doesn't seem happy at all.
Dr.
Masters rarely seems happy with anyone.
Now, there are a few things Minor things.
For example, when Dr.
Masters says "It's getting late," what he really means is "You're staying late.
" So I shouldn't ask if I'm staying? No, just assume that you are.
What he really expects of you is to act like a seismometer, registering his unspoken vibrations from miles away.
Okay.
And he's very fussy about his desk, as you know.
So, just remember, mail gets stacked on the left, coffee on the right, and no stray paper clips anywhere, ever.
- No paper clips.
- Ever.
- And no mayonnaise.
- On his desk? No, on his pressed ham sandwich or any sandwich.
He'd prefer there were a law against mayonnaise.
No mayonnaise, paper clips, or questions.
- That's right.
He's an odd one, Dr.
Masters, but at least he's not like my cousin Mae's boss.
She kept me on the phone for two hours last night crying.
Crying? Mae devoted her entire life to Mr.
Burwell That's his name.
Did everything he asked Typing, filing, late-night sex on the mimeograph.
Basically put all of her eggs in his basket, until one day, his wife got wind, and Mae was o-u-t No severance, no letter of recommendation.
He didn't just fire her.
He rubbed her out of existence.
That sounds a little extreme.
Actually, it's the oldest story in the book.
He was married, he felt guilty, so she paid the price.
Anyway, do you want to try the new snack shack for lunch? Oh, I'd love to, but I have some work to finish up at lunch.
Mrs.
Masters? I'm Walter.
The handyman, Walter.
You called me about the gutters? Of course.
I'm so sorry.
Um From your voice on the phone, I-I Thought you were older.
It's it's this way.
Please.
Come in.
Thank you.
Let me find you the key to the shed.
- Can I get you a lemonade or? - No, thank you.
You probably think it's silly to hire someone to clean your gutters.
It's usually the husband's job.
Mine works so hard, I can't remember the last time he got around to it.
Well, I did check them before I knocked.
I'd say he was last up there around D-Day.
Actually, I think Hoover was still president.
You can return these when you're finished.
Yes, ma'am.
Dr.
Johnson.
Dr.
DePaul.
I was wondering if I might take a moment of your time.
I'm busy.
Oh, I can see that, but they look like they could wait.
Did you know every teaching hospital in the country assigns the bodies donated to science a number? Meaning the students have no connection to the dead.
Instead, I ask families to tell me names, stories, anything about their loved one, so that my students will understand this was once a human being.
Well, I hope you can be as generous with me.
I want to complete my undergraduate degree, and one of the requirements for a B.
S.
Is basic anatomy your class.
But since I've logged so many hours with Dr.
Masters and learned so much about anatomy already, I-I was hoping I could place out of your class.
Why would you want a degree? You're doing fine using your other assets.
Because I'd like to avoid comments like that in the future.
Look, there's obviously no love lost between us, so wouldn't it just be easier No.
No, you cannot place out of my class.
Well, can I at least get partial credit for my work with Dr.
Masters? No.
Well I suppose I'll see you in class then.
With service to pueblo, Colorado, with stops in Kansas City, Wichita, and La Crosse, now boarding on platform C.
All aboard.
Hi.
I'm, uh Canceling these tickets, sir.
The Abraham Lincoln southbound from Chicago - Here you are.
- Thank you.
The train will arrive in one hour on platform A.
Austin.
Margaret.
I was, uh, wondering if we could have We need to talk.
Uh, all right.
Uh I-I'm, uh, beginning to have second thoughts about our going away tonight.
In in fact, I'm I'm having second thoughts about a number of things.
You mean about us seeing each other? Well, Margaret, that is a blow.
But, of course, if if you've made up your mind I respect your decision.
Of course.
Having your respect is what matters most.
Well, I-I-it came to me as I was I was sitting here, waiting for you, thinking how I told my dear husband I was going to visit aunt Caroline, an aunt he he knows I haven't seen in 10 years.
And and I I realized I was gonna be stuck with that aunt Caroline story forever.
And This was never anything more than a casual fling, anyway.
Was it? I will always think of you with With such affection, Margaret.
Of course.
"Elevations of systolic pressure are between 30mm to 80mm.
" "Diastolic pressure elevations are usually in the range of 20mm to 40mm.
" "With minimal-intensity orgasmic experience," "diastolic pressure readings essentially may be unaffected.
" I would read it with more conviction at the actual presentation.
Well, you could read it with a monkey on your hat.
I'm not sure that changes the basic fact that What, I-it's it's boring? Isn't this why doctors publish their findings in scientific journals, where it's supposed to be boring? I don't want to introduce our work in a paper.
I want to use the Friday presentations.
I agree, but to stand up there and read a list of statistics, it's it's not exactly going to set the world or the Friday meetings on fire.
We're scientists Not arsonists.
Yes, but don't you think w-we should start with one of our more dynamic findings, like Vaginal contractions? Every woman, myself included, has experienced them, but nobody knows they exist.
And we will present that how? We know they exist because we've watched them, but you can't wire up a vagina for graphical verification.
And so the medical community is left taking our word for it.
Do you know what we need? Home movies.
I use a Brownie to film the kids' school plays and birthdays.
And so the minute we work out how to, uh, fit a Brownie into a woman's vagina, our problem is solved.
Uh, I think the male subject's refractory period is resolving.
If so, the time between resolution and a secondary arousal is 16 minutes, 33 seconds.
You don't trust my timing? I'm expected home.
And I know you're trying to spend more time with Libby in the evenings, so - Uh, yes.
Of course.
- You're right, uh I lost track of the time.
I mean, we have all the data we need, right? I-I'll see you in the morning.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Hey, kids! - Daddy! Guess who I ran into at the hospital today.
Santa Claus! In March? - A machine gun! - A lady Alice doll! - Bam! Bam! Bam! - Stop that.
Stop it.
Elise, darling, for you.
It's a Hoover constellation vacuum.
Top of the line.
It actually floats on air, like a hovercraft.
- Don't shoot! - Thank you, dear.
Some poor woman is in tears.
Another, please.
She's late, is she? Isn't everybody always late? And everything is late Too late.
Too, too late.
You picked the only nice place in town for a proper drink.
I can see you're not a regular here.
Oh, does my jacket look like it's from Bull Shoals, Arkansas? Because you are? I moved to St.
Louis with a friend a year ago.
A friend? I like that.
Are you living in sin with this friend? Is she pressuring you to marry? We don't see each other anymore.
Yes.
That's going around.
Seems to be a minor epidemic.
Hope you have a pleasant evening.
Are you waiting for Barton? I was just talking to your friend Dale.
Uh, Dale is a student in my graduate advisory.
He has a very bright future in pathology.
- Does he? - Yeah.
I thought you were at a board meeting tonight.
Canceled.
And aunt Caroline? Sick.
The provost was nice enough to call me last minute, offer to advise me on next year's courses over drinks.
But now that you're here, I-I think I'll leave you two to a quiet evening.
- Yes, let's reschedule.
- Oh, no.
I insist you join us.
No, I really can't intrude.
I do have a new girl now, and she'll be thrilled if I show up, surprise her, take her to a show.
- May I say something to you? - Margaret, the boy wants to go.
No, I want Dale to hear this.
I'm very fond of Dale, despite our very brief friendship.
Stay single.
I only say this to you because when you're young and in love, everyone thinks they'll be the exception.
Sure, maybe mom and dad slept in separate beds, and then separate rooms.
Maybe the older couples you know bicker or fight Maybe don't talk at all, if they ever did.
But at your age, you can't imagine it will ever be you.
But it will be.
Which is bad enough, but what's even worse Is how much you'll feel like a failure Because when the person who knows you best loses interest, that really takes something out of you.
Like surgery almost.
And you really start to wonder If you'll ever be whole again.
Anyway I'm babbling.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
What in God's name? I was just sitting here.
She started talking to me.
I That boy, Barton, is not a graduate student.
Dale gets me women Professional women.
I came here tonight to meet a prostitute.
It's not the first time I've done this.
And now that that ugly secret is out in the open, maybe we should go in on a room together with whoever you're here to fuck! I I'll get myself home.
Obviously, there's a great deal of overlap between the digestive and the endocrine But before we explore the similarities, let me make my policy on punctuality perfectly clear It's mandatory.
I apologize I'm late, Dr.
DePaul.
Dr.
Johnson's sorry.
Who can identify this organ? Mr.
Deasy? - Liver.
- Spleen.
No, Mr.
Deasy.
It's the spleen.
Which will be on the exam, gentlemen, so I suggest you wake up.
Mr.
Banks? Lester? - Lester?! - Jesus! Dr.
Masters.
I thought you were Nosferatu.
The Akeley pancake camera, used to shoot the first full-length documentary, "Nanook of the North.
" Arriflex 35 Same camera they used to shoot "Dark Passage" with Bogie and Bacall.
Piece of garbage.
I mean, in what universe is Agnes Moorhead the killer? And what is, uh What is this? It's a lesterscope Patent pending.
I, uh, like to tinker.
Five hours ago, that baby was down the throat of a Chinaman with an esophageal tumor.
It's been sterilized.
And this device shoots film? I-I wouldn't shoot a Western with it, but sure.
Can I count on your discretion, Lester? Because what I'm proposing is not like the cesarean footage you shot for me last month.
I'm now conducting some, uh Unusual medical research.
And I could use someone with your particular expertise.
What is it? It's a lens, essentially.
Cold light illumination? I'm a bit of a tinkerer myself.
My question for you, Lester, is can you turn that lens into a functional and fully operational movie camera? You can't have one without the other Love and marriage Love and marriage It's an institute you can't disparage Ask the local gentry And they will say it's elementary Try, try, try to separate them It's an illusion Try, try, try, and you will only come To this conclusion Love and marriage Love and marriage Go together like a horse and carriage Dad was told by mother You can't have one, you can't have none You can't have one without the other I'd like to take you out tonight A date.
Jack Lemmon and Judy Holliday are playing at the Everstone.
Y-you want to take me to the drive-in? Gutters are as good as new, ma'am.
Uh, except your son's been missing this.
Uh, would you like to settle up now or? Of course.
I'll get your money.
Something wrong? Uh, no.
Not at all.
I've, uh I've always loved these ein houses.
I just never met anybody who actually lived in one.
You're an architecture buff? I spend all day fixing up folks' houses.
You pick things up.
Do you know anything about plumbing? There's a leaky faucet in the bathroom that's driving us crazy.
Sure.
I don't normally watch television during the day.
I just happen to be an Arthur Murray fan.
So was my wife.
Uh, she'd, uh, watch, and insist that we go dancing every Saturday night to try to do them one better.
- Are you going this Saturday? - No, I'm not.
Uh, my wife, she passed.
Uh, she got sick unexpectedly.
I'm so sorry.
It's easier if you think less.
- Yes.
I've found that to be true.
- About the dancing.
Now, when I was outside, I could see you were counting beats.
- Oh.
- You've got to think with your feet.
Now, what they're doing right now, that's called the tango.
That first step's a little tricky, but you go slow, slow, quick, quick, slow.
That's the pattern.
- Can you do it? Oh, please.
- Oh, it it's been a long time.
Okay.
Try closing your eyes.
- I should hire you to be my teacher.
- No, I I mean it.
We could watch the show and practice the steps.
Then I'd have something to dazzle my husband with some Saturday night at the Imperial.
Ah, I couldn't take money for that, ma'am.
Why not? It's just another odd job.
Now, see? You're still counting.
Steak sandwich? Thanks, Viv.
I had resigned myself to Welsh rarebit.
Instead, I got steak.
- Hey, I got a question for you.
- Hmm? Where can a guy find a decent ring? - Don't tell me you knocked her up.
- What? No.
But Vivian and I have been seeing each other a while now.
I think it's time to start considering the future.
- Why would you do that? - Because My old man was 20 when he married my mother.
I'm pushing 30.
And I've sown my oats.
Maybe more than my share.
Married men live longer.
- Definitely feels longer.
- There are great tax benefits.
And every man who's ever amounted to anything had a wife at home.
of the United States, and only one of them was a bachelor, and no one remembers his name.
James Buchanan.
Friends come and go.
Kids grow up and move away.
Even your patients can get a second opinion.
But your wife She's the one that sticks beside you, no matter your faults And failings.
I've met Elise.
She she's a lovely woman.
And with all respect, you're not exactly husband of the century.
You're lucky Elise has hung in there.
You ought to buy her something.
I bought her a vacuum.
She didn't care that it hovered.
You ought to buy her something nice.
To show her that loyalty and devotion are still appreciated in this world.
There is a decent jeweler over on Washington.
I know they film the outside of vaginas in those kinds of films, but filming the inside? I don't think I've ever heard of that.
Because it's never been done before.
And to think it could be you on the cutting edge of science.
- I think it's creepy.
- Creepy? Why? Is it creepy to film a heart during a bypass? It's done all the time now.
Besides, nobody will even know it's you.
It will just look like an anonymous organ.
Like One of those hand models in those ads for dish soap? Yes, exactly, but for something slightly more important than sparkling China.
In high school, I was voted most likely to be in pictures.
See? Not only is it not creepy, it was meant to be.
But anyone who's anyone in movies always has a screen name.
Okay, then, you can have a screen name, too.
Beave St.
Marie.
I gave it a complete overhaul and retrofitted it with a relay lens system.
- And it shoots in color? - At 24 frames per second.
You know, a lot of movie directors invent their own cameras Georges Méliès, Orson Welles.
Not that I'd compare myself to Welles, but - No? - Stylistically, I'm closer to Hitchcock.
Does Ulysses still have a vibrating function? I had to disable it.
Why would a camera have a vibrating function? That would ruin the focus.
The vibrating sensation helps some women achieve orgasm.
Lester Linden, our documentarian, this is patient F-26-002.
- Pleasure.
- Ma'am.
Okay, then.
Guess I'm ready for my close-up.
She controls the device, but you control the camera.
Now, the trick here will be focus.
Vaginas don't bite.
Tell me when to start.
When should she start, Lester? You're the director.
Action.
I fear Lester may have been in over his head tonight.
So to speak.
Well, I suppose all we can do is wait and see what "hitch" comes back with.
We still have time to get some work in.
Uh, actually, I was hoping we might postpone our session until tomorrow night.
Because? It turns out I have something to do tonight.
Dr.
Lloyd Danes.
79 years old.
He and wife Susan had four children, nine grandchildren.
An ophthalmologist, a fly fisherman.
He played the accordion every Saturday night at Dooleyâs.
Can you play the accordion, Mr.
Deasy? - No, ma'am.
- I didn't think so.
Ladies first.
Smelling salts for Mr.
Banks, please.
Well, anyhow, I can tell everything about a person from their canceled checks.
- Can you tell about me? - Everything.
- Everything? - Everything.
Well Is it all right? Well, yes.
You're frivolous, romantic, generous, somewhat over-impulsive.
You're ambitious.
You're a little scatterbrained.
You also have a weakness Why do you keep looking at me? Because I'd take you over Judy Holliday any day.
Do you know how many times in our marriage I've wondered if you were insane? But you taking me here, now, given everything This is proof.
More proof.
We didn't have drive-ins in our day.
We didn't need them.
We were married when we first slept together.
- We were of our time.
- That's not why we waited.
Barton I-I have spent the day racking my brains, pacing, wondering "Maybe I should light his clothes on fire.
" "Maybe I should drive his car into the pool.
" "Maybe I should tell him all about the man I've been seeing," who, by the way, wanted me in his bed, though he didn't love me.
- Marg Margaret - I don't say this to punish you, although God knows you deserve to be punished.
I mean, prostitutes? That is so insulting to me and so far beneath you.
I will I will I will never do it again ever.
I swear to you.
Even if you never laid a hand on a hooker again, that wouldn't change what is so impossible to understand.
This morning, when you came in my room, I was practically naked, and you didn't look at my body once.
Not once.
And yet your face was filled with such Love.
Because I love you.
You know that.
We didn't sleep together before we were married because you weren't interested in sleeping with me.
And I excused it away by saying passion is for teenagers and nymphomaniacs.
Passion is not what makes a good marriage.
This is a perfect, beautiful man who loves me, who doesn't care that I'm tall and athletic, who doesn't Doesn't want me to act stupider than I am.
This is a man who understands me.
And 30 years later, we're still the best of friends.
How many people can say that? It's not enough.
- We have to divorce.
- What?! - Absolutely not! - We have to.
Margaret I'm the person who knows you best.
I know you don't want a divorce.
- But this is broken.
- And I do not want a divorce.
- Barton.
- So we're not getting divorced.
This marriage of ours is broken.
And unless you want me to break along with it You have to let me go.
It wasn't very long after I met Nina that she got her promotion Her first chance to write a radio show.
I thought only students haunted the library at this hour.
I found our work tonight with Dr.
Danes very exciting.
The accordionist/ ophthalmologist.
If you'll excuse me, I need to prepare for my presentation tomorrow.
The pap-smear proposal? Dr.
Masters is planning to be there.
Well, that makes one.
Have you ever seen a roomful of male doctors listen to a lecture on female cancers? They're not exactly riveted? Not exactly.
Men are such idiots.
Even the smart ones.
You should ask a friend to go and clap loudly.
Uh, sometimes a-a ringer helps.
I don't want their adulation.
I just want them to support me.
This work is very important to me.
Then I'm sure it will go your way.
Lower thoracic? You should be much further along than that.
Underestimate my exam at your own peril.
I wouldn't be here at this hour if I underestimated your exam.
Teardrops are popular.
What color are your wife's eyes? Brown.
Uh, more green, maybe? Let's say hazel.
In which case, you can't go wrong with emeralds.
What about this one? What is that 1/10 of a carat? You'll have to buy her a microscope to go with that.
No, let's see, um Let's see this one.
Remember, the ring's supposed to cost at least two months' salary.
I'm still a fellow.
You know what they pay me.
I was in med school when I proposed to Elise Actually hocked my car to buy her a ring.
I was gonna take her to Chez nous, get the chef to stick it in a cream puff.
But she swallowed it? I missed the date.
There was a stomach bug going around.
She found me passed out on the bathroom floor.
She drove me to the emergency room.
So there I was, okay? I was oh, thank you Sprawled on a gurney, and the ring falls out of my coat pocket.
Well, I could barely sit up.
But I said to her, "Everything I own is in that ring.
" "And it's yours if you'll take me.
" Everybody in the E.
R.
applauded.
Do you have a layaway plan? There's a popular misconception the pap smear requires costly equipment and lots of training to administer Training you won't find outside a world-class hospital like this one.
Well, it seems expensive now, but don't forget, a ring lasts forever.
It's teachable, and it saves women's lives.
And Vivian will be thrilled.
Women always are At the beginning.
Next slide, please.
Next slide! This sample was taken from a 42-year-old patient with no family history of malignancy.
Note the poorly differentiated cells Stage iv cervical cancer.
With early screening, this woman could have been cured.
Instead, she has early metastases to the liver.
Would anyone care to venture a prognosis? She's terminal, obviously.
Which is why it's incumbent on hospitals like this one to lead the charge in Pap test education.
What I'm proposing is a pilot program to train country doctors to become proficient in deduction How 'bout that Dr.
DePaul? Guaranteed cure for insomnia.
Treatment for their patients once the results have been determined.
The possibility The truth is, I can feel resistance to my plan already.
You saw that room.
And the administration is already rumbling there's insufficient funding for my proposal.
Funding A process that will leave you feeling like the Minotaur in the maze.
I have six months.
Funding can take years.
Hmm.
You seem to have gotten your study funded quickly enough.
My study is mainly paid out of pocket mine.
Including Mrs.
Johnson's salary? Primarily.
She functions as more than a secretary, but the hospital won't subsidize her for her research work because she's uncredentialed.
It galls me to say it, but she may be one of my better students.
Her credential might not be far off.
She's doing well, then? Exam's tomorrow.
We'll see.
The bottom line is, I need to push my proposal through, I need to do it now, and I'm not going to be shy about asking for your help.
I'm ready to head to room 5 now.
You? I've been, uh I've been thinking about something.
Uh, you've mentioned several times about continuing Your education.
Yes, uh Your your point was always that the timing was off.
Hmm.
But it's important to you.
Then if you want to pick up a class here and there in the evenings, I won't object.
You've been talking to Dr.
DePaul? No.
I'm actually sitting in on her anatomy class.
Taking it, in fact, for credit Now.
Excellent.
Um, of course, you could have told me, but, uh How's it going? W-we have our first big test tomorrow.
Well, you should be at home, studying.
Uh, w-we can resume our work tomorrow night.
- Are you sure? - Very sure.
I can't I can't tell you how much that means to me, Bill.
- Well - Thank you.
And I will never let my classes interfere with our work here.
Good luck tomorrow.
The heart? No, it's in his head.
Right temporal fossa.
Good.
I don't know why you're even doing this.
To get a degree.
I explained that to you, didn't I? Icky blue vein? No? But why do you need a degree when you already have a job? Because, uh, a degree is like magic.
You still do your job, but when you have a degree, people believe you know what you're talking about.
So, it's like they can see you better? Yes, in fact.
And it's why you two are going to go to college one day, so people see you right from the start.
Will you still be in college when we go there? At this rate, probably.
Inferior vena cava.
Good job, mom.
I'm glad you came back, although I thought these earrings were for your wife.
My wife doesn't appreciate my gifts anymore.
That's just wrong A man so romantic and generous.
You know, when you slipped that ring on my finger today My stomach got that roller-coaster feeling.
- You know why? - Why? Because that moment, that is the moment.
That is the moment when everything is good.
Half-day? Uh, for us both, it seems.
How are you progressing with the sex study? Very well.
We've amassed an unprecedented amount of data.
We've killed a few sacred cows along the way.
We've opened up many new doors.
It's, uh Well, it's ground-breaking work.
I think a presentation is not too far in the future.
I look forward to it.
Have you come across any information about people's abilities to change their sexual habits? - I-I only ask - I know why you're asking.
Uh, I've run across a few treatments.
Uh, I can't verify they work.
I've also been doing some reading.
Apparently, there's, uh Aversion therapy - And electroshock.
- Jesus, Barton.
Wha I do know a psychologist in New York, Dr.
Sandor Rado.
He's been touting something he calls "Adaptational Psychodynamics.
" Sounds like something Pavlov did to dogs.
It's a form of aversion therapy.
Patient's given a drug Apomorphine.
It induces nausea while the patient engages in the behavior that he wishes to change.
The hope is the brain rewires itself to perceive the activity it used to enjoy as, uh repulsive.
I wish I could be of more help.
You're standing here.
That's enough.
Dr.
DePaul, if I can bend your ear? Are you ready to hatch a plan to raid the hospital's coffers? It's about, uh, a smaller matter.
Uh, Mrs.
Johnson might come to you to, uh, sign up for another class.
Um, I would appreciate it if you would tell me if she does.
You can't ask her yourself? Mrs.
Johnson has a tendency to overfill her plate.
Her work on the study is time-consuming Uh, important.
Her course work is getting in the way? Well, the study needs to be a priority.
Because if she did manage to stand on her own two feet, that would mean she could walk away.
Fine.
You help me, I'll help you.
Save my spot, will you? I have a little something I want to - Good morning.
- Good morning.
How do you feel about German? The language? Good housekeeping has a schnitzel recipe that I thought I could come around and cook for you tonight.
Actually, I have plans tonight.
And so do you.
I'm taking you out, someplace special.
- Where are we going? - Top secret.
Wear a dress.
Ooh, tea length or floor length? Surprise me.
But is the restaurant formal? Should I wear gloves? - It's Delmonicoâs.
- Delmonico's?! My cousin Frances went to Delmonicoâs with a boyfriend, and she came back with a fiancé.
Really?! All the girls in the dorm call it "The Hitching Post.
" Should I be getting a manicure or something to show off tomorrow? A manicure is never a bad idea.
Is it a brilliant cut or an emerald cut? - The diamond.
- I-I don't know.
W-well, they're completely different styles.
One's round.
The other's rectangular.
- I-I think it's kind of football shaped.
- A marquise cut? I suppose I'd have to look.
Yes! Yes, I'll marry you! Oh, my God! I have to call my mother! Hey, doc.
You're up.
Dr.
Langham.
I was wondering if a new bone disease had been discovered, we hadn't seen you in so long.
I want back in the study.
That, um issue I was dealing with that time before, it's no longer an issue.
Oh, meaning you want back in the study with Jane? It doesn't have to be Jane.
No, you and Bill have a study to run.
I understand that.
Whoever you want to put me with is fine.
In fact, I'm open to anyone, everyone.
I know it's all in the service to science.
Right.
Well, yeah, we could always use good subjects.
I'm better than good.
I'm back.
Excuse me.
Then I'll sign you up.
One of the perks of being a doctor I can let myself into the dispensary anytime I want.
- But the point of this drug - Apomorphine.
Is to make you sick? I take it, and you Pleasure yourself.
Maybe just sit there.
Point is, I look at you, I get sick, and then I'm cured of this terrible habit.
I don't know.
It doesn't seem right.
I'm paying you.
I don't think that's the point! It is the point.
It's why you're here, isn't it? If I stopped paying, it's not as if you'd ask to see me again.
- I like your company.
- Oh, don't hustle me.
Who says it's a hustle? Because there is no universe where you and I are anything other than a business transaction! I'll pay you double Triple, whatever you want.
Don't make me beg for this.
I'm just trying to picture it.
I sit across from you, and you vomit.
Hell, if I wanted that reaction, I could just go home and visit my parents.
I'm not proud of this! I mean Do I look in the mirror and wish that I was someone else? Maybe once a day.
But then I think Fuck them.
I mean it.
Fuck them! Don't be a child.
Because I'm the one cowering in a dark room like a baby? No.
There's only one person that gets to be sickened by me.
And that's me.
Everybody else They can go fuck themselves.
You should change your mind.
When you do, you know where to find me.
Look at this.
Somebody's gonna have to give me lessons.
I hope my wife is watching, because she would be proud of this tango.
You know, I heard somewhere your feet can cover five miles in a night of dancing.
And I figured my wife and I must have danced the tango from here to Zanzibar.
What a lovely story.
Mrs.
Masters? Mrs.
Masters?! - You're sure I can't call your husband? - Oh, I feel fine.
And I don't want to worry him till we know what's going on.
You were so good to bring me, Walter, but y-you don't have to stay.
I don't have anywhere to be.
Mrs.
Masters? I'll be quick.
You can have your boy bring the car around.
Oh, he's not my boy, he's, um Uh, he's the handyman.
I'll wait outside.
Well, I think we found our culprit.
Your blood pressure is 100/65.
That's very low.
Yes, but a little hypotension is nothing to fret about.
It's your hormones.
They cause your blood vessels to widen, increase the blood flow to the baby.
To the We see it all the time in the first trimester.
It's harmless.
So long as you don't get too dizzy, your pregnancy should proceed without any problems at all.
How did your exam go? I have no idea.
You should see the other students in the class.
I am quite the outsider in that world.
In many worlds, I suppose.
Not here.
I'm not even sure I'll keep taking classes.
We're plenty busy here.
Well, whatever you decide.
It's up to you.
I thought you disabled the vibrating function.
I did.
That's Lester's hands shaking.
Well, in his defense, I don't think he's ever seen the outside of a vagina, let alone the inside of one.
I think that's the refractory period ending.
The time between resolution and secondary arousal I cannot believe you find this footage arousing.
No, it's not the footage.
It's the fact that we're the only two people in the world who've seen it.