Mighty Max (1993) s01e08 Episode Script

1
- Norman's Conquest -
Tuesday, you cannot see the
present if you're staring into the past.
You cannot have a past
without having a present.
And you cannot plan
the future by the past.
Not bad.
Wonder what it means.
How old do you think it is?
Oh, I don't know. At least
10,000 years, I should say.
Our place at Early Bronze Age.
Well, whoever owned this
must have eaten his spinach.
Wonder whatever
happened to men like that.
I believe they all moved to Barstow.
I want you to send our
findings back to England.
I'll stay and continue the excavation.
Oh, don't worry, Sydney.
I'll also keep looking
for your watch.
Right here.
Earthquake?!
Please, do not be afraid.
I'm here in Bona, Colorado
on an archeological expedition
for the British Museum.
Oh, perhaps you're not
familiar with our organization.
Norman!
You'll have 30 minutes to complete
this quiz on last night's reading.
If you did your homework,
you'll have no trouble.
If you didn't, well, I'll let you say I
wouldn't make any plans for this summer.
Maxwell.
Man, if it's true only the good
die young, he's gonna live to be 150.
You must come at once, Mighty One.
The portal's nine steps to
the west, 17 steps to the north.
You know, for a bird,
he sure has great timing.
(moaning in pain)
Is that an all-purpose moan, or does
it signify a certain problem, Maxwell?
Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt
the test, sir, but (gasping)
I think I'm dying.
May I see the nurse?
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.
(screaming)
Oh, sorry, I didn't
see it in there.
(Whoa)
You coward, where are you?
Are we all the oxen-free?
(laughing)
Hurry, you'll be safe inside.
Hey, what's that, Virg'?
Another factory recall?
(evil laugh)
(groans)
You can hide forever,
when I get my hands on
you, I'll tear you, limb from limb.
His name's Spike.
Yeah, definitely a
Type A personality.
Funny, I'm sure hate to be
the poor slob to cross him.
There you are, Norman.
I told you I'd find you.
If you leave now,
we can call it even.
(groans)
Eiya!
(Spike laugh)
Okay, so we'll say you
won, how's that sound?
Now I'll rip you
into little tiny pieces.
We must do something
to save Norman.
Whoa!
(Spike groans)
- (Max and Virgil scream)
Not a good idea,
and while we're at it,
maybe we can do
something to save ourselves.
(screaming)
(Screaming)
Hey, what can I say, buddy?
You got a magnetic personality.
(Spike groans)
Everybody out, watch your step.
Are you all right, Norman?
Yeah, I was just letting Spike
think he had the upper hand.
Oh yeah!
Oh man, suddenly that pop
quiz is starting to look pretty good.
Whoa!
Oh, if I tear another pair of
pants, mom's gonna kill me.
Hurry, Mighty Max.
Norm, is Spike always like this?
No, he's usually not
in this good of a mood.
Norman!
Hey, hey, hey, we
were in a crosswalk.
Come on, he'll
never find us up there.
I think we lost him.
(Spike laughing)
(Spike keep laughing)
Think again
Oh, what are we to do?
There's no way down.
(Spike groaning)
Well, there may be one way down.
No, no, I can't.
If I were meant to fly, I would
have been born with wings.
Spike: Norman!
Whoa!
- Whoa!
(Spike groans)
Don't you just hate it
when you miss your train?
I, I have a confession to make.
I can't beat Spike.
I can't win.
Oh, say it ain't so, Normie,
you could beat anyone.
No, not Spike.
- Really?
Well, how'd you ever get tangled up with
Mr. Congeniality there in the first place?
It all started when I was
a child, 10,000 years ago.
I was living with my father, Ehrlich.
He was a great warrior, but
wished for peace in his later years.
Our tribe no longer
fought or hated or killed.
But all that changed the day Spike came.
If you come in peace,
you are welcome.
We have no quarrel with you.
And we have none with you.
Father!
And now you die!
Norman, my war axe.
Where's my axe?!
(Groans)
(Spike laughing)
Norman, Norman, where are you?
(screaming)
(Laughing)
You think you can
hurt me with a twig?
You can't hurt me!
Feels good!
Father, your axe.
No!!
- Father, father!
It's all right, son, just
hand me my axe.
Sorry, no last request.
Why!
Why?
I killed your weakling,
father, and now I'll kill you too.
(Spike screams)
We have unfinished business.
I'll come back and find you, and
then I'll kill you and eat your heart.
(laughing)
(screaming)
If only I had gotten my
father's axe to him in time.
He'd be alive today.
I'm supposed to be the
guardian, but in truth I'm a failure.
Norman!
Guess who?!
(laughing)
Ah, you don't suppose that could be
the Porter coming for a ticket, do you?
(screaming)
Man, don't you just hate
angers on? Let's make tracks.
Where's the nearest portal?
If my calculations are correct,
there should be a portal very nearby.
I would say it's just
about here, more or less.
(screaming)
(screaming)
Yo, Virg'! You got any
idea where we're going?
Wherever it is, it simply couldn't be any
worse than where we just were, could it?
Yuk! You were saying?
Well, it's your call, Normie.
You can run for the rest of your life
or you can stand and fight to the death.
I just don't think I can win.
Oh, come on, Norm.
You can beat this whip.
You're a big guy.
Yeah, but he's a bigger guy.
- Oh, yeah, he does make a point.
But I would like to
avenge my father's death.
If only I had his war axe.
A war axe?
Now, personally, I'd rather have an AK-47
and a couple thousand rounds of ammo.
But you can beat
him anyway, Normie.
You gotta try.
It is the only way, isn't it?
Then let us go.
But why are we here?
This is where it all began.
It is time I returned
home and faced the past
I've been running from so long.
Which way do we go?
(screaming)
My guess would be, that way.
Oh, please, please let me go.
I'll give you everything. I'll have a
wing at the museum named after you.
Okay, okay, okay,
the whole museum.
I believe you're looking for me.
I'm surprised you showed.
You ran the last time I saw you.
You'd run too if I
had a face like yours.
He's all yours, big guy.
Break a leg.
Well, break his leg.
Do you, really
think I can beat him?
Hey, I got 50 cents
right on your body.
Don't let me down.
(dramatic music)
Uh, excuse me, if
you're still taking bets,
I'd like five pounds on a
block with a stick in his face.
(laughing)
Oh, this is too easy.
(groaning)
If I must die, defending
my honor, then so be it.
Save the speeches.
It's time I finished what I
started 10,000 years ago.
(groaning)
- (groaning)
(screaming)
Man, if only Norman had his father's
axe, he might have the confidence to win.
Excuse me, would that be a large
war axe with a half moon-shaped blade?
Have you seen it?
- Oh, yes, I dug it up several days ago.
That's it, Norman has a chance.
Oh, no, no, I'm afraid not.
I already sent it
back to England.
There's no way we can get it
here in time to save your friend.
Obviously, you've never
heard of Mighty Max.
Have portal, we'll travel.
We must go at once.
- Go where?
Don't worry, Normie,
we'll be right back.
Oh, amazing, what a
fascinating way to travel.
Yeah, and we don't have to
put up with airline food either.
(groaning)
Oh, dear, it's locked.
What is the world coming to?
Nobody trusts anyone anymore.
I'm afraid with
the time difference,
we still have 10 hours
before the museum opens.
Yeah, well, I guess
we'll just have to break in.
I say, that sort of thing
is illegal in this country.
Sounds positively exciting.
(laughing)
It appears your friends
have deserted you.
Like the way you
deserted your father.
I didn't desert my father.
You, you monster.
Whoa, sticks and stones,
you break your bones.
(laughing)
It's so much fun.
It's a shame soon,
it will all have to end.
Oh, I do, I'll be
doing the right thing.
I don't believe the queen would
approve of ruffians stealing her exhibits.
How could we be stealing an
axe that Normie already owns?
Well, I suppose that is
something to hold on to
while we rot in prison
for the rest of our lives.
Hey, you guys, over
here, I found a way in.
(chimney creaking)
Hmm, wonder if any of
those guys is Norman's dad.
I believe it's over this way.
I see it, put snag the
axe and get out of here.
Oh, smashing, aren't they?
But how do you suppose
we get down there?
(all groans)
Shh.
Wait, there may
be security devices.
Uh-huh, just as I suspected.
Now first, I will have to disable
the alarm wire securing the lid.
Then I will use a mirror to deflect the
beam from the infrared motion detector.
And finally, I will exchange
an object of equal weight
so as to circumvent
the pressure alarm.
- I got a better idea.
(glass shatters)
Hey!
Oh my, oh my, don't
lose my fellowship for this.
Halt, nobody move.
There's a portal nearby, but we'll
never make it without a diversion.
Hey, diversions
are what I do best.
Um, guys, do me a favor and don't
say anything about this to my mom.
You know how she gets when I
destroy priceless museum treasures.
Your father was a
weakling, and so are you.
Never talk about my father.
Yes, I would be ashamed
of him too if I were you.
I'm not ashamed of my father.
It doesn't matter, you'll
be joining him jointly anyway.
(whistling) Norman, here!
My father's axe.
Now I can avenge his death.
- over my dead body.
(Giggles)
Works for me.
(grunting)
If you kill me, you'll
be no better than me.
I can live with that.
(screaming)
I'm not through
with you yet.!
Wrong.
Woohoo, Normie!
There's one more thing
I still must do. Alone.
Here father, I have
something for you.
(High elevating tune)
This week, Virgil, Norman,
and I went to the Rocky Mountains,
which stretch all the way from
Alaska through Canada to New Mexico.
I bet you didn't know they
formed a continental divide.
All streams east of the divide
flow toward the Atlantic Ocean.
All streams to the west flow
toward the Pacific Ocean.
That's kind of a big decision
for a little drop of water.
See you next week!