Milo Murphy's Law (2016) s01e08 Episode Script
Smooth Opera-tor
1 - There he is.
- Hi, Milo.
I can't believe we're getting extra credit just for going to an opera.
You ever sit through an opera before? We're earning it.
Oh! There's Amanda.
- Amanda, huh? - Oh, no, no, it's just that She's someone we know from school, you know? - How's my cast? - One of your best.
Excuse me.
- Hey, Amanda.
- Milo! Uh, I mean, hi, Milo.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY.]
What are you doing here? Extra credit for Mrs.
White's class.
You can sit with us in the center if you want.
I bought an extra seat in case mine got destroyed.
How would your seat get destroyed? - It's best not to speculate.
- Okay, that's why I'm, well I'm a little nervous.
What I love about opera is that it's so well-rehearsed and predictable.
And the thing is, there's just so much that could go wrong in this general area.
Oh, that! [BONE CRACKS.]
Oh, don't worry! Murphy's Law or not, the show must go on.
I hope so because it's just that I have - Milo.
- Huh? Oh! Because I'm using up three of my scheduled enjoyment - hours for this.
- You schedule time to enjoy things? How else am I going to fit it in? Wow! Every minute of your day is accounted for.
"Wednesday, 10:50 to 10:55, peel and eat an orange.
" This opera takes exactly two hours and 11 minutes, plus, I set aside an extra 1.
5 minutes, for an ovation, just in case it's really good.
My enjoyment hours are very precious to me, nothing can go wrong.
Don't worry, Amanda, I'll be there to help.
Oh, that's great.
You realize that you could shave a good three minutes of your orange peeling time if you switch to tangerines.
Noted.
- So what's with the big ugly tie? - This is an ascot.
The last time I wore something that big, they brought me a lobster.
What I'm saying is, it looks like a lobster bib.
When you're in a restaurant and you order a lobster - I get it! - Excuse me.
May I have some pistachios, please? I'm sorry, my good man, but it seems that we're fresh out of pistachios at the moment.
Yeah, we're all out.
But, aren't those pistachios right behind you? Yes, well, uh, you see those are display pistachios.
We're not allowed to sell display pistachios.
Wouldn't you prefer a rubbery-like woodland creature to chew on instead, hmm? Actually, I'd really prefer some pistachios, please.
I think he's hypnotized himself.
Fine.
I'll give you four.
It's righty-tighty, leftie-loosie.
I know how dispensers work.
Uh, what's the problem? Are you guys new at this? That's a rather presumptuous accusation.
Yes.
It's not like we tied up the guy who usually does this and stashed him in the basement.
Man, that's a long way to go for a night off, Bob! [SHRUGS.]
Here, give me a boost, there's gotta be a lock or something up here.
- Would you please hurry up? - DAKOTA: I don't see anything.
Well, what do you know? It's a righty-loosie dispenser.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Oh, no! Hold on.
[CRASHING.]
- You had one job.
- Yeah, you had the same job.
I think you'll like this opera.
It's about a morally conflicted crime boss who's seeing a therapist.
Whatever.
Extra credit's extra credit.
[CLASSIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, it sounds like they're ready to start.
- Where's Milo? - I better go find him.
We got pistachios all over the place.
Are you bragging or should I get a broom? - How is that even bragging? - I'll get a broom.
How dare a Baritone come into our deli He's lucky I don't punch him in the belly Ah, those lights up there, they seem a little loose to me.
PHIL: Ah, they'll be all right.
Unless someone accidentally leans on that backdrop too hard, hitting that fireman's ax, causing it to fall on the floor, startling that rat who runs into that lamp, causing it to fall over, knocking into those tie-offs, causing that rope to come loose.
STEVE: Wait a minute.
Whoa, whoa! How could that lamp hit those ropes? PHIL: No, no, no, not that lamp.
That lamp and those ropes.
STEVE: Oh, I see.
What about that sandbag over there? PHIL: Not important.
Anyway, if all that happens, - then I suppose you'd have a problem.
- Ah, good enough, I guess.
Or that rope could just slip off 'cause I didn't really tie it very tight.
- Say, where'd you get that? - I got a stash in the back.
Come on.
# You know, that Baritone thinks he's gonna tell us # Ooh! Better make sure those lights don't fall and knock out those actors.
That would seriously mess with Amanda's enjoyment hours.
# I hear you shaking # # I'll box his ears and all will hear his ringing # - CHORUS: # We hear you, boss # - MAN: # Yes? # Oh, no! Zack, look.
# Then he's going to wake up with a horse? # I don't remember this opera having a dog in it.
Diogee, go home.
[WHIMPERS.]
This is different than the last time I saw it.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
- Deep cleansing breath.
- Don't you yoga me.
He's singing on our turf # You know, I think he wants to fight us # If he doesn't watch his step I'm gonna give him laryngitis Milo, what are you doing? I'm making sure nothing goes wrong back here.
Amanda's scheduled enjoyment hours don't just grow on trees, you know.
She only has the two hours, 12 minutes and change, if there's an ovation.
Yeah, I think that ovation ship may have sailed.
I just hope nothing else goes wrong.
And that ship is sailing right now.
# He'll be sleeping with a mackerel # # This is war! # That's not your call to make - # A music war # - # This is a big mistake # # We're going to war # [WOMAN SHRIEKS.]
- # Why can't you see? # - # A music war # # Stop singing over me # - # This is war A music war # - Oh, no! Zack, flip that switch back.
No, the other switch.
# .
.
war # [SIGHS.]
And no one's the wiser.
You're a calm blue ocean.
That baritone's a bother He's not singing in my key And now I've got this music war # It's such anxiety # Hey, Milo, look at the chandelier, it's slipping.
Well, that's not good.
I'm on it.
It keeps me wide awake at night and gives me panic attacks So I've come here to your office To tell you all my thoughts There's also issues with my mother # I'm afraid that's all the time we've got # [CRASH.]
Oh, boy! That was probably my bad.
Uh-oh! [GLASS SHATTERS.]
[ORCHESTRA CONTINUES.]
I better get out of here before something else # Come on barito # [MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come on # [MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come # [MUSIC RESUMES.]
Come on [SCREAMING, QUACKING.]
[MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come on bari # [RUMBLING.]
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
[CAT MEOWS.]
[CLATTER.]
[MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come on, Baritone, it's time for a fight # # Step out of the shadows and into the light # [TIGHT-LIPPED.]
# That was your cue.
We haven't got all night.
# - Mr.
Baritone, you're on.
- I'm not going out there.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[VEHICLE DRIVES AWAY.]
[GASPING.]
The show must go on.
# I'm over here # # You're shorter than I remember # # It's the physique that I was cursed with # I'll admit that I'm confused # You're not the one that I rehearsed with # I think we've gone off book Now, I believe this scene we're botching But I feel we should go on Because there's all these people watching So I guess that you're a baritone And now we have to fight # I'm a Mezzo-soprano, and it all ends tonight # # Actually, you sing between a tenor and a bass # And that makes you a baritone Your hostility's misplaced # Say what? # Mezzo-soprano is your family name But you all sing in baritone That makes you all the same Wait a minute, Mezzo-soprano is a family name But we all sing in baritone That makes us all the same - You're right! - BOTH: # Mezzo-soprano is our family name # But we all sing in baritone That makes us all the same.
# We are all baritones # # Diogee, go home! # [SINGS IN ITALIAN.]
[APPLAUSE.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
Whoo-hoo! That was amazing.
Bravo! That was surprisingly entertaining.
And including the five-minute ovation, it was actually shorter than it usually is, so I've got time for a pizza! - That sounds like a plan, let's go.
- Okay, let's go.
- Who knows what will happen there? - Don't push it.
# It's my world and we're all livin' in it # [TITLE MUSIC.]
# We're all livin' in it # CHORUS: # Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # MILO: Oh, thanks, everybody! That is so motivational.
Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # Whoa # # Whoa # # I'm not sitting here watching the world turn # You know I'd rather spin it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # It's my world and we're all livin' in it #
- Hi, Milo.
I can't believe we're getting extra credit just for going to an opera.
You ever sit through an opera before? We're earning it.
Oh! There's Amanda.
- Amanda, huh? - Oh, no, no, it's just that She's someone we know from school, you know? - How's my cast? - One of your best.
Excuse me.
- Hey, Amanda.
- Milo! Uh, I mean, hi, Milo.
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY.]
What are you doing here? Extra credit for Mrs.
White's class.
You can sit with us in the center if you want.
I bought an extra seat in case mine got destroyed.
How would your seat get destroyed? - It's best not to speculate.
- Okay, that's why I'm, well I'm a little nervous.
What I love about opera is that it's so well-rehearsed and predictable.
And the thing is, there's just so much that could go wrong in this general area.
Oh, that! [BONE CRACKS.]
Oh, don't worry! Murphy's Law or not, the show must go on.
I hope so because it's just that I have - Milo.
- Huh? Oh! Because I'm using up three of my scheduled enjoyment - hours for this.
- You schedule time to enjoy things? How else am I going to fit it in? Wow! Every minute of your day is accounted for.
"Wednesday, 10:50 to 10:55, peel and eat an orange.
" This opera takes exactly two hours and 11 minutes, plus, I set aside an extra 1.
5 minutes, for an ovation, just in case it's really good.
My enjoyment hours are very precious to me, nothing can go wrong.
Don't worry, Amanda, I'll be there to help.
Oh, that's great.
You realize that you could shave a good three minutes of your orange peeling time if you switch to tangerines.
Noted.
- So what's with the big ugly tie? - This is an ascot.
The last time I wore something that big, they brought me a lobster.
What I'm saying is, it looks like a lobster bib.
When you're in a restaurant and you order a lobster - I get it! - Excuse me.
May I have some pistachios, please? I'm sorry, my good man, but it seems that we're fresh out of pistachios at the moment.
Yeah, we're all out.
But, aren't those pistachios right behind you? Yes, well, uh, you see those are display pistachios.
We're not allowed to sell display pistachios.
Wouldn't you prefer a rubbery-like woodland creature to chew on instead, hmm? Actually, I'd really prefer some pistachios, please.
I think he's hypnotized himself.
Fine.
I'll give you four.
It's righty-tighty, leftie-loosie.
I know how dispensers work.
Uh, what's the problem? Are you guys new at this? That's a rather presumptuous accusation.
Yes.
It's not like we tied up the guy who usually does this and stashed him in the basement.
Man, that's a long way to go for a night off, Bob! [SHRUGS.]
Here, give me a boost, there's gotta be a lock or something up here.
- Would you please hurry up? - DAKOTA: I don't see anything.
Well, what do you know? It's a righty-loosie dispenser.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Oh, no! Hold on.
[CRASHING.]
- You had one job.
- Yeah, you had the same job.
I think you'll like this opera.
It's about a morally conflicted crime boss who's seeing a therapist.
Whatever.
Extra credit's extra credit.
[CLASSIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, it sounds like they're ready to start.
- Where's Milo? - I better go find him.
We got pistachios all over the place.
Are you bragging or should I get a broom? - How is that even bragging? - I'll get a broom.
How dare a Baritone come into our deli He's lucky I don't punch him in the belly Ah, those lights up there, they seem a little loose to me.
PHIL: Ah, they'll be all right.
Unless someone accidentally leans on that backdrop too hard, hitting that fireman's ax, causing it to fall on the floor, startling that rat who runs into that lamp, causing it to fall over, knocking into those tie-offs, causing that rope to come loose.
STEVE: Wait a minute.
Whoa, whoa! How could that lamp hit those ropes? PHIL: No, no, no, not that lamp.
That lamp and those ropes.
STEVE: Oh, I see.
What about that sandbag over there? PHIL: Not important.
Anyway, if all that happens, - then I suppose you'd have a problem.
- Ah, good enough, I guess.
Or that rope could just slip off 'cause I didn't really tie it very tight.
- Say, where'd you get that? - I got a stash in the back.
Come on.
# You know, that Baritone thinks he's gonna tell us # Ooh! Better make sure those lights don't fall and knock out those actors.
That would seriously mess with Amanda's enjoyment hours.
# I hear you shaking # # I'll box his ears and all will hear his ringing # - CHORUS: # We hear you, boss # - MAN: # Yes? # Oh, no! Zack, look.
# Then he's going to wake up with a horse? # I don't remember this opera having a dog in it.
Diogee, go home.
[WHIMPERS.]
This is different than the last time I saw it.
[INHALES, EXHALES.]
- Deep cleansing breath.
- Don't you yoga me.
He's singing on our turf # You know, I think he wants to fight us # If he doesn't watch his step I'm gonna give him laryngitis Milo, what are you doing? I'm making sure nothing goes wrong back here.
Amanda's scheduled enjoyment hours don't just grow on trees, you know.
She only has the two hours, 12 minutes and change, if there's an ovation.
Yeah, I think that ovation ship may have sailed.
I just hope nothing else goes wrong.
And that ship is sailing right now.
# He'll be sleeping with a mackerel # # This is war! # That's not your call to make - # A music war # - # This is a big mistake # # We're going to war # [WOMAN SHRIEKS.]
- # Why can't you see? # - # A music war # # Stop singing over me # - # This is war A music war # - Oh, no! Zack, flip that switch back.
No, the other switch.
# .
.
war # [SIGHS.]
And no one's the wiser.
You're a calm blue ocean.
That baritone's a bother He's not singing in my key And now I've got this music war # It's such anxiety # Hey, Milo, look at the chandelier, it's slipping.
Well, that's not good.
I'm on it.
It keeps me wide awake at night and gives me panic attacks So I've come here to your office To tell you all my thoughts There's also issues with my mother # I'm afraid that's all the time we've got # [CRASH.]
Oh, boy! That was probably my bad.
Uh-oh! [GLASS SHATTERS.]
[ORCHESTRA CONTINUES.]
I better get out of here before something else # Come on barito # [MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come on # [MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come # [MUSIC RESUMES.]
Come on [SCREAMING, QUACKING.]
[MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come on bari # [RUMBLING.]
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
[CAT MEOWS.]
[CLATTER.]
[MUSIC RESUMES.]
# Come on, Baritone, it's time for a fight # # Step out of the shadows and into the light # [TIGHT-LIPPED.]
# That was your cue.
We haven't got all night.
# - Mr.
Baritone, you're on.
- I'm not going out there.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[VEHICLE DRIVES AWAY.]
[GASPING.]
The show must go on.
# I'm over here # # You're shorter than I remember # # It's the physique that I was cursed with # I'll admit that I'm confused # You're not the one that I rehearsed with # I think we've gone off book Now, I believe this scene we're botching But I feel we should go on Because there's all these people watching So I guess that you're a baritone And now we have to fight # I'm a Mezzo-soprano, and it all ends tonight # # Actually, you sing between a tenor and a bass # And that makes you a baritone Your hostility's misplaced # Say what? # Mezzo-soprano is your family name But you all sing in baritone That makes you all the same Wait a minute, Mezzo-soprano is a family name But we all sing in baritone That makes us all the same - You're right! - BOTH: # Mezzo-soprano is our family name # But we all sing in baritone That makes us all the same.
# We are all baritones # # Diogee, go home! # [SINGS IN ITALIAN.]
[APPLAUSE.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
Whoo-hoo! That was amazing.
Bravo! That was surprisingly entertaining.
And including the five-minute ovation, it was actually shorter than it usually is, so I've got time for a pizza! - That sounds like a plan, let's go.
- Okay, let's go.
- Who knows what will happen there? - Don't push it.
# It's my world and we're all livin' in it # [TITLE MUSIC.]
# We're all livin' in it # CHORUS: # Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # MILO: Oh, thanks, everybody! That is so motivational.
Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # Whoa # # Whoa # # I'm not sitting here watching the world turn # You know I'd rather spin it Go, Milo Go, Milo, go # It's my world and we're all livin' in it #