My Place (2009) s01e08 Episode Script

(INTRIGUING PIANO AND CELLO MUSIC) I'm a witch.
Brrrmmmm! I am the magician! I'm not weird.
You're gonna get in so much trouble! (LAUGHTER) GIRL: Oooh! (GIRL SQUEALS) (ENGINE WHIRRS, MACHINE-GUN FIRES) (BO YS IMITATE MACHINE-GUN FIRING AND ENGINE WHIRRING) Hold tight, Commissioner Weston.
I'm going to land this plane.
(ENGINE WHIRRS) (IMITATES ENGINE) BO Y: My name is Colum.
This is my place and I'm about to crash! We'll never make it to the airstrip, Shadow.
(IMITATES MACHINE-GUN FIRE) (IMITATES BLOWING WIND) Arggh! COLUM: That's Thommo.
He's my best mate.
(GRUNTS) Oh! Shadow, you alright? COLUM: His family's about to be kicked out of their house.
They'll have to live at the unemployed camp in Happy Valley.
MAN: Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.
(MAN LAUGHS MANIACALLY) COLUM: Even as The Shadow leads Commissioner Weston across the desert, the white slave gang is tying his beloved Margo Lane to a donkey train headed deep into the Colorado Gorge.
They're already halfway down.
We'll never catch them.
Unless Hey, no, I'm first.
It's it's my billycan't.
Come on, Col.
Today's my only chance.
Well, don't say that.
Your dad might get a job.
You might stay.
What do you think you're doing, you grubs? Oh, um, just catching a sea breeze off the puddles.
Youse two are too small and grub-like for Brickpits Hill.
Hop it.
Come back when you're 1 4.
We catch you here again, you'll get a grandfather of a hiding! I can't wait until I'm 1 4.
The bailiff could come any day and kick us out of our house.
Maybe there'll be a hill at Happy Valley.
No, there's not even a road.
There's just bush and tin humpies and tents full of kids whose dads have no jobs.
What can you see? (WHISPERS LOUDLY) It's the dole inspector.
THOMMO: Joe Blake, the snake! (RHYTHMIC, SWIFT MUSIC) (MEN CHATTER) Who set your pants on fire? THOMMO: Joe Blake! MAN: Quick, quick! This way.
Bridie's at the factory, Thommo.
Go warn her! OK.
(CLATTERING, CHICKENS CLUCK, DOGS BARK) COLUM: Dole inspector! MAN: Joe Blake's coming! COLUM: Dole inspector! MAN: Let's go.
Keep scattering.
MAN: Run.
WOMAN: Go away! Dole inspector! MAN: Joe Blake's coming! COLUM: Dole inspector coming! Dole inspector! (CHICKENS CLUCK) Hurry! Dole inspector! Hey! You! (DOGS BARK) (CHICKENS CLUCK) Colum, wait.
Oh, Kath.
Joe Blake! (CHICKENS CLUCK) Col, pass me the chooks.
Good boy, Col.
Good boy.
Don't trample on me runner beans.
KATH: Careful, Jack, you'll cut yourself.
Cut that miserable son of a Jack! The B-O-Y! (PANTS) (COUGHS) Bessie.
I can't find Bessie.
Here, Bessie.
(IMITATES CLUCKING) He's right behind me.
It's Bessie.
I can't find her.
Bridie! (CLUCKS) So sorry, Mr Blake.
I didn't see you there.
The name's Geraghty.
I heard a rumour you was keeping chooks, Kevin.
I'm away.
I find out you've been raising chooks and not declaring it, I'll have you kicked off the dole.
I bid spades.
Spades it is.
You'll have a hard time paying rent with no dole coming in.
You.
Colum.
Your poor dead mum teach you to tell the truth? Your pa keeping chooks, Col? That's my trick.
PA: Rake it in.
The Sheahans will be beggars in humpies with the Thomsons down Happy Valley.
Hey! I'd rather be a beggar than a snake in a two-bob suit.
Young Thomson.
We'll see how much fight you have in you when Mr Sinclair puts you out in the street.
How's it going to help old Sinclair to have another house empty? He wants proper tenants with jobs.
People who'll make the place nice, not cover it in chook poop.
You hear that, Joe? (SILENCE) That's all your friends calling out to you.
Deafening, isn't it? (QUIET SNIGGERING) (SIGHS) (ALL LAUGH) Here you go, Bess.
(CLUCKS) (HORSE SNORTS) MAN ON RADIO: The Shadow, a mysterious character who aids those in distress and helps the forces of law and order, is in reality the modern craftsman, a wealthy young man about town.
MAN: Margo! MARGO: What? Look at this man.
Look at his face.
Why! Well, Lamont, this is amazing.
It just can't be possible.
Quite possible, Margo.
That man who just walked past was one of the wax figures we saw on the freighter tonight.
(MAN LAUGHS MANIACALLY) MAN: Next week, same time, same station.
Next week? I'll be gone next week.
MISS MILLER: Is your program finished, boys? Yes, thanks, Miss Miller.
Want to listen to the second at Randwick, Kevin? Too right, Miss Miller.
Any luck with work, Dad? Oh, they give a couple of young fellas half a shift.
MAN ON RADIO: about five or six lengths.
On the outside is Royal Chief followed next by Patriarch and Marauder and Aitchengee are the last two.
You'd have a bit more luck if you put a couple of bob on next Tuesday's Cup.
Oh, don't let the boy's mother even hear you suggest it.
She disapproves of the gambling.
You've got to have a flutter on the Melbourne Cup.
Yeah, and it's not gambling when you have a sure tip, eh? Allunga.
He's as good as past the winning post and 1 00 to one.
I'm so sure, I bet the housekeeping money.
Thommo! Come on.
What? MAN ON RADIO: And here they come now 1 00 to one.
That means if you put one shilling on, you win five pounds.
And for only 1 0 shillings, you could win 50 pounds.
50 pounds, Thommo! You could more than pay back the rent to Sinclair so he wouldn't come and evict you ever, and soon we'll be big enough to ride down Brickpits Hill and give the grandfather of a hiding to anyone who tries to stop us.
Colum? Yeah, mate? We don't have 1 0 shillings.
MAN ON RADIO: Do as I tell you.
MAN 2: I don't want to fight The Shadow.
You will not run out on me! I'm going! It's not a library.
(SIGHS) Let's go.
Oi! What are you boys doing Tuesday? Ah, we were thinking about grabbing some education while it's still free.
I need a couple of runners to pick up bets for the Cup.
How'd you like to earn threepence? I'd like it, Mr O'Sullivan.
Sixpence, each.
And how do you figure on being won'th sixpence each, then? That's the price of the flogging we'll get if we're caught playing hooky.
Sixpence each, then.
Eight o'clock in the morning, sharp.
COLUM: One shilling from Mr O'Sullivan, plus the shilling I've saved from my paper round.
Um That's not enough.
What would the Shadow do? Well, he wouldn't let his best mate get evicted.
Yeah.
(CLUCKS) You're not to move her.
But I need the can't to do my paper round.
Today.
Well, use your satchel.
I've been waiting months for one of the hens to go broody.
We need those chicks.
That goes for you too, young Thommo.
No-one is to touch this billycan't until those eggs hatch, you understand? Yes, Pa.
Yes, Mr Sheahan.
Alright.
(CLUCKS) What if someone would just lend us the money just until after the race and we'd pay it right back? You suddenly became mates with Santa Claus? Sid the rabbit-oh.
Sid's a good bloke, but he doesn't have money just lying around to lend us.
Yes, he does.
There's money for Sid just lying there in Kath's housekeeping jar.
Only until he picks it up.
When he brings the rabbits this afternoon.
After the race is over.
And by then we will have put the winnings back in the jar.
So it isn't actually stealing.
COLUM: Course not.
It's just taking it out for a bit of a gallop and fresh air.
The Shadow would do it, if it saved someone else.
Go on.
What do I do? Can I turn the handle for you, Mrs Wilson? Yeah, of course you can, Thommo.
Here.
You got it? Yeah, uh, it's (LAUGHS) Arggh! Where are you going? No, it's OK.
I can take it for you.
No, it's fine, darling.
THOMMO: You should go rest.
No, I'm fine, sweetie.
Thank you.
THOMMO: You should sit down.
Sit down.
I can take it.
KATH: It's fine.
Thank you.
You've been a great help.
What are you doing in here, Col? Uh, Jack told me he'd lost his marbles over you.
I thought I might find them here.
Did Jack really say? Alright.
Out with the pair of you.
Go on, out you get.
There were three whole shillings in there! Three? Should we put some back? I don't dare.
My shilling plus this plus the shilling from Mr O'Sullivan makes five shillings.
And Jack said the price is now at 1 50 to one.
That's gotta be nearly 40 pounds.
Oh! (FOREBODING MUSIC) (MAN LAUGHS MANIACALLY) No billycan't today, Col? Oh, Bessie's laid a clutch on the seat.
I'll have to walk for the next three weeks.
Oh, can we place a bet, Mr O'Sullivan? Five shillings on Allunga in the Cup.
There's only four there.
Plus the shilling you'll pay us for today.
Get away with you.
I'll pay you when the job's done.
Why can't you pay us now? Oh I'm not going to bandy words.
Hop it.
This is the busiest day of the year! Go on! Oh! 'The Sur? Yes, thanks, Col.
Look, can I have sixpence each way on Catalogue in the Cup? OK? 'Womers Weekly'? Lovely.
And I'll have a shilling on Royal Chief in the Melbourne Cup.
Sure.
Arert you William Thomson? Not a word to your mother.
There's a good chap.
No fear.
(DOOR CREAKS, DOOR BANGS) (BOTH PANT) (DOGS BARK) What's the hurry? Uh, no hurry.
You wouldn't be collecting bets for O'Sullivan, the SP bookmaker? Mr O'Sullivan doesn't make books.
He sells newspapers.
Turn out your pockets.
You collecting snotrags? The principal would like to know why you're not at school.
(GASPS) Uh, got sent home.
Nits.
MAN ON RADIO: Sadly for his connections, his respirator is a Miss Maclean, a shilling on Plectrum.
Plec trum.
RADIO: Lining up Please, Mr O'Sullivan, we have to place our bet.
MAN ON RADIO: Plectrum, Scobie Breasley, which leaves the chestnut mare (GRUNTS) Oh, um When we've finished the book.
Oh! David Waters, a shilling each way on Bourbon.
That's the lot.
Five shillings on Allunga.
Allunga? That's 200 to 1.
MAN ON RADIO: last of the horses Please, Mr O'Sullivan! Sorry, boys, that's nearly 40 pounds.
I can't take the risk.
But we tried to place the bet earlier.
Oh, Jack's got everyone in the brickpits on Allunga so I can't afford another bet on him.
But it's the Melbourne Cup.
That's unAustralian.
Any other horse.
But Allunga's as good as past the post.
Then why would I take your bet? MAN ON RADIO: AIlunga jumps well from the gate SID: Rabbit-oh! Fresh rabbit-oh! The four shillings.
Kath is going to kill me.
COLUM: The housekeeping money.
We've got to put it back! SID: Fresh rabbit-oh! SID: Rabbit-oh! Fresh rabbit-oh! Get your fresh rabbit-oh! What's got you two in such a rush? The race.
You can't miss the end of the race.
Oh, it's just a horse race! It's the Melbourne Cup! I've got scones to bake, and if you think you're going to pinch one of my scones, Thommo Thomson, you've got another thing coming.
Jack bet the housekeeping money on Allunga.
He did what? Oh, I'll skin him alive! KATH: Jack Wilson! JACK: Shh! He's winning! MAN ON RADIO: is straightening, and is leading Royal Chief as they overhaul the leader.
Bourbon is finishing fast on the inside Go Go, Allunga! MAN ON RADIO: is staying in contact, but can Allunga hold on? It's Allunga to the front.
Allunga is taking the lead from Catalogue JACK: Hang in there, Allunga! Go, horse! MAN ON RADIO: Royal Chief, and here comes Bourbon! Allunga is still in front but Bourbon is flying.
Allunga is finishing fast but Catalogue is not beaten yet.
Catalogue is running down Allunga and bringing Bourbon and Ortelle's Star behind him.
It's Allunga, then Bourbon.
No, Allunga.
Now it's Catalogue.
Catalogue has sneaked up from behind and beaten them all! (ALL GROAN AND SIGH) MAN ON RADIO: Catalogue has won the 1938 You beauty! Melbourne Cup! Thommo, you done? THOMMO: Yeah.
(CRASH!) THOMMO: Arggh! (RATTLING) MAN ON RADIO: Star, and after leading all the way, Allunga is beaten into an unlucky fourth, followed by Royal Chief.
JACK: Useless nag! KATH: Forget the horse.
What about our housekeeping money? It's in the kitchen jar.
Colum! What are you up to? (JACK LAUGHS) Love, it was a joke.
A joke with Mr Thomson.
Col must have misunderstood.
(LAUGHS) SID: Told you you should've bet on Catalogue.
Yeah, I reckon you should be giving us those rabbits, Sid.
SID: No fear, Kath.
KATH: I'll get your money.
Joe Blake, he's coming! (CHICKENS CLUCK) On Melbourne Cup Day! COLUM: What about Bessie? Throw her over the fence.
COLUM: I can't move her.
She's broody.
Well, just move the billycan't.
Go! (CHICKEN CLUCKS) JOE: You! You chook hiders! (HISSES) (DOGS BARK) Col, come on! He's coming.
Push! Quick.
(COUGHS) (PANTS) (CLUCKS) JOE: You! He's still after us! There's only one way to shake him.
How? He'll never be able to follow us down there.
It's now or never.
COLUM AND THOMMO: Whoa! Whoa, go left! Go left! BOTH: Whoa! Arggh! Arggh! THOMMO: Hard left! BOTH: Whoa! I said left! Arggh! (CLUCKS) Whoa! Whoa! We're not going to make it! No choice.
BOTH: Arggh! Arggh! Arggh! Whoo-hoo! Arggh! How do we stop? Bit late for that now.
Whoa! Victory to The Shadow! (BESSIE CLUCKS) I want to do it again! What about Bessie? Are you calling her a chicken? (LAUGHS) (BOTH LAUGH) COLUM: The bailiff's men came like they said they would and threw the Thomsons out of their home.
So they had to move into a tent in Happy Valley.
But me and Thommo were the youngest to ever ride down Brickpits Hill and we did it together.
(COLUM IMITATES MAN ON RADIO) Who knows what evil lurks within the hearts of men? MAN ON RADIO AND COLUM: The Shadow knows.
(MAN AND COLUM LAUGH MANIACALLY) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (GIRLS LAUGH) GIRL: Wait for me! GIRL: It's just like heaven.
(GIRL SQUEALS) Duck for cover! Cover!