Primos (2024) s01e08 Episode Script

1
- [Opening theme music playing]
- [whistle blows]
- [cat snarling]
- [dogs barking]
[singing] Hey! Another day
in my old hood ♪
Summer's starting
and it's gonna be so good ♪
Hey, oh, hey!
I was gonna be so cool ♪
Then you all moved in
and got me looking like a fool, again ♪
Oye, Primos ♪
Why you all up in my face ♪
Oye, Primos ♪
Get up out my space ♪
Oye, Primos ♪
You're wearing out my brain ♪
You're driving me insane ♪
Not the roll call again ♪
Cousin Bud, Nacho and Lita ♪
Tere, Tabi and Toñita ♪
Scooter, Lotlot and Gordita ♪
Nachito, ChaCha and Cookita ♪
Yay ♪
[Tater] No, come on ♪
Oye, Primos ♪
[Grunts in frustration]
[Tater reading]
[speaking Spanish]
[speaking Spanish]
[sniffing]
[Tater] El Super Retorcido.
Um, uh, can I have that one, please?
Tater, ask in Espanol.
Er[speaking bad Spanish]
uh, to have
El churro, [speaks weirdly] Por favor.
Just churro me, please!
[Speaking Spanish]
Gracias, Hector.
I got you, Tatie.
[Thud]
[all speaking in Spanish]
[groans softly]
Sounds like they're having fun
En Espanol!
And you can't even
say my name right.
[Chomps aggressively]
You're a little salty for a churro.
Oh! Cafe S'il Vous Plait.
- [Gasps]
- [churro] Hey!
French treats!
- [Squeaking]
- Ooh, la, la.
A new French cafe
in Hacienda Hills
My Parisian dreams
can start right here.
I'll be
[In French accent]
internationale.
- Romantique. Exotique.
- [Horse neighs]
I'll be Bon du Tater.
[Man] Excusez-moi.
Le grande opening is later today
when le cafe's owner returns.
Ah, parfaite.
I'll practice mon francais
by learning to order at this cafe.
[Scoffs] Very good, madam.
My journey of 1,000 miles
begins with a single croissant.
- [Neighs]
- [French accordion playing]
Booya! Bonjour.
[Laughs in French]
[shouting] Booya! Bonjour!
[Singing] Booya! Bonjour! ♪
[Toñita] Um, Tater.
What are you doing?
I'm learning French.
Wait. Shouldn't you learn
Spanish first, Miss choo-row?
[Mumbling] Why do I have to learn
one language before I learn another?
Because Spanish
is our language. [in Spanish]
That doesn't mean
it has to be my only language.
And I want to practice French
for the cafe's opening today.
Besides, you all speak
so much Spanish every day,
I'm picking it up naturally. See?
Yo! [speaking bad Spanish]
- [metal screeching]
- [gunshot]
My ears!
She's she's a no sabo kid.
I told you it's a work in progress.
Why don't you go pick on Nellie?
She needs all kinds of help.
Accidentes?
[In Spanish]
At least Nellie is practicing.
Yeah, and truth be told,
Tater Gator, French is less practical.
Practical Schmacktical.
I'm thinking about my future.
I can always learn Spanish.
But French, it's fresh, it's different.
[Sighs in exasperation]
Now, excusez-moi.
[Grunts, then speaks French]
Hey, you listen here, Small fry!
Hey, let her go, Nacho.
Primos, huddle.
Okay, so Tater feels left out.
Obvio, she doesn't speak Spanish,
so she misses out
on half of what we say.
Like all the inside jokes.
And all the sweet barrenos.
And the juicy cheese man.
That must feel awful.
And if Tater learns Spanish,
she'd feel better.
[Gasps] We should teach her.
[All talking together]
I bet you all that Spanish
is just asleep in her head somewhere.
Mmm. It appears that an accelerated
learning course is in order
For our lab rat.
[Laughs mischievously]
[sing-song]
Time for some French televise.
[In Spanish]
- [TV static then remote clicks]
- [in Spanish]
- [remote clicking]
- [in Spanish]
- [grunts]
- [glass breaks]
Why is it all so stuck
on the Spanish channels?
Oh!
Darn those wily primos!
[In Spanish]
Fine, I'll listen
to French musique instead.
- [Spanish rock playing on radio]
- [grunts]
Spanish rock? Primos!
[Piano playing]
[sing-song] Le snack time!
Ooh. What the More Spanish? What?
Lee-chee-day-soya.
Meh!
[Spits and retches]
Soy milk?
Touche, primos.
[Speaking French]
[sniffs] Le gasp.
Croissant. Un.
Deux.
Trois. Um, le four.
Five.
[Laughing] It's moi lucky day.
- [Metal rattling and thud]
- What the
[Static] Hola, Tater.
Seems like you require
a more focused learning environment.
La gosh. I'm trapped.
Bienvenido to the Spanish
language escape room.
Let's play a game.
Is this really necessary?
Si.
Don't let your emotional
human heart fool you, Scooter.
We need to unlock the Spanish
in Tater's brain,
[in deep voice]
and meat tenderizes under pressure.
[All speaking together]
Save your breath, primos.
I'm learning French!
Enough talk.
- Vamos [speaking Spanish]
- [screams]
- Arriba.
- Oh!
[Grunts]
[ding]
- Increible.
- She does know Spanish.
Grr! Curse my quick reflexes
for giving false impressions.
[Panting] Oh!
A water gun?
- Uh
- [Clears throat, then speaks Spanish]
Nombre those animales.
- Hombre. Man of the animals?
- [Mechanical sound]
[speaking Spanish] Tater!
Oh, yeah, I know you.
El tigre.
[Squirting]
- [ding]
- [laughs] All right. I can do this.
- [Mechanical sound]
- Oh, I know this one.
- El pedo.
- [Squirting]
[Nacho laughs] Small fry.
It's perro.
This is pedo. [farts]
[Tater coughs]
That's what I said.
[Laughs maniacally]
[buzzes]
Huh. I wonder what that means.
- [Splattering]
- [grunts]
- Tres leches cake? Huh.
- [Alarm sounding]
Huh. Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Speaking Spanish]
Cuadro means squares.
And Azul means yellow, right?
[Laughs]
[buzzes]
- [splattering]
- Amarilla was yellow.
Azul is green. Orange?
Uh, blue. [sighs]
Okay. Azul is blue!
[Laughs] Sweet success.
[Chomping] Can I go now?
Well done. You're halfway there.
[Gasps] Halfway?
But what is the cafe closes?
[Gordita speaking Spanish in deep voice]
Hmm, primavera is winter, right?
[Gordita speaking Spanish in deep voice]
[Gordita speaking Spanish in deep voice]
[continues speaking Spanish]
- [continues speaking Spanish]
- [hesitating]
- [alarm buzzes, splattering]
- La.
- El? Los?
- [Splattering]
[gurgling]
Oh, no. Tater was doing so well.
- What happened?
- Maybe we pushed her too far?
Mmm. Maybe.
- Or maybe we didn't push her far enough.
- [Buzzes]
[groaning]
[reading Spanish badly]
[sighs wearily]
This is too hard.
You can do it, Tater. It's real easy.
For you, maybe.
Oh, maybe she needs
to hear it out loud.
Yeah, that could be it.
[All speaking Spanish]
Jale el cordon.
Jale el cordon. Jale el cordon.
[Indistinct shouting]
What?
Now you're all
just yelling at me.
[Shouting] Stop!
[Sighs] Look.
Primos, I'm sorry,
but yo no sabo Espanol.
My Spanish will always be
a work in progress.
I'm just not
at the same level as you all.
Does that make me less of a primo?
Of course not.
That's it! We've gone too far!
- [Shouting] Tear it down.
- [Crashing]
Tear it all down.
- Huh?
- [All apologizing]
I'm so bad. I'm sorry.
Lo siento, Tater.
We didn't realize how challenging
this would be for you.
But we always
believed in you. See?
The big finale was to celebrate
you speaking Spanish.
Oh. Sorry, there's not much
to celebrate now.
There's plenty to celebrate,
Tater Gator.
Yeah, we're all works in progress.
And while our identities
have ties to Spanish,
that doesn't mean we shouldn't
support your language goals.
Yeah, who knows?
Maybe your interest in French will help
you learn more about other languages.
Speaking of which, maybe we should
all go check out that cafe.
What do you say, Tatie?
Lita, I [sobbing]
[speaking French] Oui! Oui!
[Laughing] She said wee-wee.
[French accordion plays]
[licks lips] Mmm. Yes.
Now I can finally
test out my French.
What the heck is pain au chocolat?
Who hurt you?
[Giggling] Here I go.
Bonjour. [speaking French
and abruptly stopping]
Huh?
Hector, you're the owner?
And you speak French, too?
Um
Okay, here goes.
[Speaking French] a croissant?
S'il Vous Plait.
[All cheering]
- [angelic sounds]
- [gasps]
- [poofs]
- [French accordion]
- [horse neighs]
- Voila!
And le yee-haw!
[French accordion plays and stops]
[Lucita reading]
[Tater] A little of this.
A little of that.
And [blows]
This [sing-song] is my final form.
It's perfect. It's classic.
It's just like everything else
I've drawn this week.
Argh!
Maybe I just need a break to
get back to my usual genius self.
And I know exactly where to go.
Attention all primos.
I'm taking a me day.
Ooh, me day.
- Are you going to the spa?
- We'll grab our robes.
[Sighs] Tere, Tabi, Toni.
This is far better than a spa.
I'm going
[All gasping]
To the library!
- [T-Sisters] Oh!
- Argh!
- I am surrounded by philistines.
- [Cookita] Tater.
Can I come with you?
Of course.
Grab your library card.
Uh, what's a library card?
[Gasps] You don't even
have a library card?
This cannot stand!
To my helper vest!
[Triumphant music playing]
Let's go to the library!
[Metal button dings]
- [licks]
- [Triumphant music plays and stops]
[door opens]
Here we are.
Literary heaven.
[Sneezes]
Heaven's pretty dusty.
Oh, ye of little faith.
You haven't seen
the children's section!
[Pleasant music playing]
Hark! She has returned!
- Oh, Tater.
- Oh, joyous day!
Yipee!
We're great fans of your work.
You worked here, Tater?
More like miracle worked here.
This place was a mess.
And now
[Pleasant music playing]
How'd you do it?
I'm glad you asked.
Once upon a time
I came to your land
of literature ♪
Dismayed at what I did see ♪
It was dusty and dark
with a musty odor ♪
Like gym sock
forgotten for a week ♪
I knew right then
what my quest would be ♪
And I knew
that it had to be me ♪
This magical land
only I could foretell ♪
Just in need
of the old elbow grease ♪
It's the Legend of Tater ♪
If you read here,
you've heard about me ♪
I'm the reading nook savior ♪
Defending each
child's right to read ♪
Singing
li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li ♪
Li-li-li-li-library ♪
Singing
li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li ♪
If you read here,
you've heard about me ♪
[Kids cheer]
[clicks tongue] Oh.
You all are too much.
[Chuckles]
- Hey, Tater. What's over here?
- No!
- That's the teen section.
- [Wind blowing and wolves howling]
We don't go down there.
But you love teen books.
Well, I do.
But teens themselves.
[Shudders]
That's a whole another banana.
Tater, are you maligning
the teen section again?
[Gasps] Ms. Mahoney.
[Laughs] You might hate teens
more than I hate reshelving the returns.
[Flies buzzing]
It's for the books, lady!
Anyway, greetings and salutations
my good page knight.
Hath thou conquered
many books in your absence?
Ohhh, I hath. Eight, just this month.
Slow down. Impressive, as always.
[Laughs shyly]
Now, who is this little cutie?
This is my cousin, Lucita.
Lucita, this is Ms. Mahoney.
Head librarian. Protector of the pages.
Keep it on the lanyards.
And the first and best of her name.
Er, Lucita's a big reader.
Apple doesn't fall too far
from the tree. [chuckles]
Tell her how many books
you read this month.
Fifteen.
[Gasps] Amazing.
Huh. Tater's got competition.
They were picture books,
so, you know, short. [laughs]
Oh! [gasps]
[mouthing]
You know ASL, too?
Yes! My sister is deaf.
It's nice to have
someone to sign with!
Is that ASL?
I can spell my name.
This is a T, right?
Sorry, Tater. You have
a very cool cousin here.
Lucita's the biggest little
book worm I've ever met.
Maybe I should
call you Bookita instead.
[Shudders] Ms. Mahoney
gave her a nickname
and it doesn't even
make any sense.
[Roaring]
[screaming]
[roaring]
Red Bookita,
I will not be usurped by a three-year-old.
[Shouting]
Mess. I'll shelve them
correctly for Ms. Mahoney.
Can I help too?
The Dewey Decimal System
might be beyond you,
but sure, just make a pile
and I'll get to it later.
- Huh?
- Look, Tater. I helped.
The books aren't
in the proper order.
- Ms. Mahoney's gonna
- Love it.
Lucita, you must be
an incredible artist, too.
[Grunts angrily]
Well, no one can trump my dramatic
reading skills. [clears throat]
"Mindy moose muttered,
'Mama made my maple muffins.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.'"
"And so the Rainbow Unicorn,
realizing her power,
took to the skies
and thus, to her destiny."
[snaping fingers]
Huh?
Wait. Don't your find
my reading a-moose-ing?
Puns are the lowest form of wit.
Yeah and Lucita doesn't
treat us like we're babies.
Okay, but you're a literal baby.
What gives?
[Lightning strike]
[Ominous organ playing]
[heart beating, shattering]
[groans]
Lucita's usurping my place!
Ms. Mahoney's gonna like her
more than me. [sighs wearily]
That's it. Ms. Mahoney hates
reshelving the returns.
If I do it for her,
she'll like me best again.
She has to.
Whoa! [shudders]
- [shouting]
- [crashing and thudding]
[groaning]
[nervously] I can fix this.
Oh, no, no, Tater. It's too dangerous
for you to move these shelves.
Why don't you work
in the teen section?
You're banishing me.
I'm banish-ed?
No, no, no. Not at all.
I just think that the teen section
could use some of this energy.
- [Howling]
- No. No. No!
- [Wind blowing]
- [door slams]
[Ms. Mahoney] And that vest
doesn't look very comfortable.
How about I get something
that fits you better?
[Sad guitar stumming]
[Ms. Mahoney] Lucita,
this is more your size.
[Dramatic music playing]
Exiled in disgrace.
[Wind blowing]
Betrayed and replaced
by the apprentice I sought to uplift.
And now,
my watch begins. [sniffles]
- [Tater sobs and cries]
- [electrical buzzing]
- [Tater cries]
- [AC blowing]
[growls]
Pull yourself together, Tater.
[Shrieks]
Do you, uh, need any help?
No one's ever gonna go out with me.
I'm gonna die alone.
I mean help with books.
- [Crying hysterically]
- [hissing]
No one's here to read.
Poor Teen Lit books.
Taken for granted
in this cruel, cruel world.
Wow. What a weirdo.
[Moans]
[moaning and kissing]
Ugh. And I'm the weirdo?
Yeah, weirdo.
[Moaning]
[sighs wearily]
[Lucita] Are you mad at Tater?
Of course not.
So why did you send her
to the teen section?
She doesn't like it there.
I thought the teens could use
some of her magic Tater touch.
I've never seen anyone
care about books as much as she does.
That's true. Tater made reading fun
from me and my primos again.
That's why I love,
love, love her.
Ms. Mahoney and Lucita still like me?
[Gasps] I wasn't banish-ed.
I was given a quest!
And I won't let them down.
Or my name isn't Tater!
T-A Ow! Finger cramp.
I'll ask Lucita
to teach me that later.
Hey! We're dueling here.
Attention all teens!
- [All] Huh?
- [Kissing] Huh?
Gather around everyone, gather around.
Are you looking for love
in all the wrong places?
[Crying] Jessica!
Feeling like no one understands
what it's like to be misunderstood?
You just don't get it.
No one does.
Well, lucky for you, I'm here.
Welcome to Tater Takes.
I've got the perfect
book pairing for every
Whoa! What's your poison?
Someone called me a typical Capricorn.
Is that a bad thing?
One astrology book, coming up.
This is going to become
my whole personality.
[Indistinct chatter]
Tell me how
to fix my love life.
If you wish to woo a paramour,
poetry can help you get in touch
with your feels.
Feels? Yeah, I have
so many of those.
Keats is back on the menu, boys.
Oh, John Keats.
[Gasps] How is she
so good at this?
If you like this, then check out
my blind book date section.
Mystery is the spice of life, baby.
- [Indistinct shouting]
- Are there any kissing books?
- [Gasps]
- Wow!
[Camera shutter clicks]
What if I love pride,
but like hate prejudice?
[Gasps] Tater.
This place looks incredible.
You tamed the teens, Tater.
I knew you can do it.
Oh, thanks. [chuckles]
And I'm sorry I was
such a handful earlier.
I hope this makes up for it?
Ah, you were just trying to help.
And Tater, I'm so proud of you.
In fact, it's time to level you up
from helper vest to a lanyard.
[Triumphant music playing]
[crying hysterically]
My own lanyard?
This is like a medal of honor.
Thanks, Ms. Mahoney.
Hey, it looks
good on you, Lucita.
[Giggles] I wanna make a difference.
Just like you did.
Oh, you're gonna
forge your own path.
A hero in your own name.
- Bookita.
- [Laughs]
- Mmm-hmm.
- [Kissing]
[moaning and kissing]
Egads!
We must protect that poor book.
- Are you with me, primo?
- At once, my liege.
[Both] Charge!
[Closing theme music playing]
It's my heart, it's my soul ♪
It's my home ♪
It's the city ♪
The city of angels ♪
[Music fades and ends]