Romantic Killer (2022) s01e08 Episode Script

1
[beeping]
[humming happily]
[Anzu] It's finally here.
Ishiai Koji's cat book!
I love that Mom sends
pictures of Momohiki,
but this is an extra cat boost for my day.
Let the healing begin!
[smooches]
[Anzu] Huh? Has it already been a month
since Kazuki moved in?
Guess he'll be finding a new place soon.
Living with Junta and Kazuki
has been surprisingly fun.
It'll be strange when he moves out.
ARISA: CAN WE MEET?
[Anzu] Speaking of strange, I wonder
who that text was from
- [man] I know, right?
- [grunts]
- [can clanks]
- [man grunts]
[Anzu] My book!
[sighs in relief]
What the hell do you think you're doing?
I was just waiting
for the light to change.
[Anzu] He bumped into me.
I should be the one yelling.
It's all thanks to you
that I dropped my coffee.
- And ruined my shoes.
- [gasps]
- [man] You're gonna pay for that!
- [Anzu] Hey!
- Uh
- That's enough.
[Anzu] Huh?
You're the one who bumped into her.
[gasping]
Ah, dude. You're, like, crazy hot.
What do you say, you pay back
your little friend's debt with a date?
[man laughing mischievously]
[grunts in pain]
- Don't ever touch me.
- [man] Ow
Now apologize to her.
It's just a stupid book!
[grunts]
Just a book?
[Anzu] You have no idea what I've lost!
[shouting] This book is worth
hours of healing!
I curse you!
May stray cats infest your house
and soak your bed in cat pee!
You're gonna drill straight into my brain!
- [growling]
- [screams]
I'm sorry!
- [man] Ow!
- Uh
[man] My head the pain.
That chick's crazy.
- [snorts]
- [startled gasps]
Maybe next time
you'll be a little bit more respectful.
[all gasp]
- Let's go.
- [Anzu blows raspberry]
- Your book okay? Sorry about those jerks.
- [gasps]
Heh?
[sighs in relief]
[Anzu exclaims]
Oh yeah, the book's fine.
Thanks for saving me.
Oh my gosh, she'll think I'm in love!
I hope I don't look as dumb
as I feel right now!
Did you really
curse him with a cat-pee-soaked mattress?
[Anzu] It was all I could think of.
You can never get that smell out.
- [Tsukasa] Arisa.
- [both] Huh?
Hey, Tsukasa.
Kazuki?
Hoshino? You know each other?
Hoshino, like
Wait, are you Anzu Hoshino?
Me? Um
I'm Arisa, Tsukasa's big sister.
Thanks for looking after him.
[chuckles]
Uh, legendary good looks
run in your family.
So bright, can't look directly at it!
[Tsukasa] You're an idiot.
[theme music]
[birds chirping]
#8 THE PHOENIX RISES! I AM A BIRD!
Thanks for having me. Are you sure
that I'm not barging in here?
Of course not.
Thanks again
for letting Tsukasa stay here.
A month is a long time.
No, not at all.
Really, it's been awesome
having him around.
[Anzu] Not to mention
this whole thing is my fault.
My mother and I
should have introduced ourselves sooner.
- To be honest, we were a bit surprised.
- [grumbles]
We didn't think he'd be staying this long.
Between the pipe bursting
and the new phone, it's been chaotic.
So I figured it was probably
best for me to come out
and get the details in person.
Oh yeah, that makes sense.
[Anzu] The phone
Yeah, that was my fault too.
Oh. Hey, would you like
something to drink?
I think we have some iced tea, or, um
- [Tsukasa] Uh, there's a fresh pitcher.
- Oh, that would be great.
[chuckles]
[Arisa clears throat]
Better let Mom know everything's okay.
[Tsukasa] So, did something happen
at the station? You looked frazzled.
Oh. This guy bumped into me,
then tried to pick a fight with me.
[Tsukasa] What?
But your sister totally saved me.
Those guys didn't stand a chance.
You know what? Your sister's really cool.
Yeah, but she had a tendency
to find trouble.
I'm sorry that happened.
Nah, it's fine,
'cause I cursed him with a mattress
completely soaked in cat pee!
- So yeah, it's all good.
- [muffled laugh]
[Tsukasa] Seriously?
A mattress soaked in cat pee?
No, it really is the worst!
[chuckles]
[Anzu] Sorry to keep you waiting.
All good, thanks.
Kazuki, I'm just curious.
Why did you wanna go to our school
and live alone?
[both gasp]
[both sigh]
[Anzu] Uh, you don't have to answer that.
I shouldn't have asked.
- [whimpers]
- Hmm Well, how do I say this?
- Huh?
- [soft chuckle]
Our father's a real piece of garbage.
SHI
Piece of garbage?
Yup. That's why our mom decided
it was best for Tsukasa
to go to school out here.
Oh.
I'm not wrong, am I?
No.
I was really worried
when I heard you'd be living alone.
I'm relieved you're staying
with someone sweet like Anzu.
[phone vibrates]
Oh, Makoto.
Um, hey.
What's up?
- [Arisa] Who's Makoto?
- [Anzu] He's a friend from school.
Oh.
Hey, what's Tsukasa like
at school, anyway?
Well, uh, he's popular
but keeps to himself.
Being reserved makes everyone
like him even more.
And you?
- You seem to like him too, huh?
- [chokes]
[spits, gags]
Huh?
[in deep voice]
It's not like that.
I swear on my unborn descendants.
[Arisa] That's a bit extreme.
In fact, I didn't like him
when I first met him.
But
I'm glad I took the time
to get to know him better.
'Cause, you know,
now he's a really great friend.
[Arisa chuckles softly]
You know, he used to be
a really social kid.
He was always smiling,
befriending everyone he met.
I can't picture that.
[Arisa chuckles]
I know, right?
There was a problem
back when he was in junior high.
Ever since then, he sort of shut down.
So before, the way he was laughing
with you, I haven't seen that side
of my little brother
in a really long time.
Huh?
You bring it out of him, Anzu.
Really, it's not
- [door shuts]
- [both] Huh?
He wanted me to go to a movie,
but I think he really just wanted
someone to vent to.
- [Anzu] About what?
- Oh
Something about his sister
stealing his last pudding.
MAKOTO
IT WAS DELICIOUS
[chuckles]
Tell him next time
to write his name on it.
[Tsukasa] He did. She ate it anyway.
Hmm. There's no stronger grudge
than one held over food.
Is it that big a deal?
I don't make the rules.
[light music]
About your friend, Anzu.
She's sweet. I'm just surprised
you're friends with her.
[chuckles]
I thought
you were still avoiding all girls.
[sighs]
Yeah, I know. I wasn't planning on it.
But she's different.
I feel more at ease with her.
Tsukasa, why don't you just
stay here a while?
Huh?
Calm down, it's a joke.
- [sighs in relief]
- Uh uh
Uh, well
[Anzu] I don't mind if you don't mind.
Hm?
You've been so helpful around here.
And maybe it's just me,
but I think it's been a lot of fun
living with you and Junta.
[Anzu] Not to mention Riri's scheming
if you leave Junta and I alone.
Most importantly,
you're the only one brave enough
to kill all those bugs!
- [groans]
- [Tsukasa chuckles]
If it's that important to you,
then I guess I'll stay.
Hm.
[sighs in relief]
Yeah? This will be great!
There's another show
I've been dying to watch.
Sure.
I get it now. That's why
you never wanted to talk about her.
You were embarrassed I'd figure it out.
That she makes you smile again.
Um
- Wait, do you like
- It's not like that.
With Hoshino, I can be myself.
For me, that's all I need.
[Tsukasa sighs]
[Arisa] Okay.
[soft music]
[water running]
[Anzu] I'm glad
I met Kazuki's sister today.
I learned a lot more about him.
[door opens]
Hey, you're back.
You have the coolest sister.
I loved getting to meet her.
[gasps]
I should have worn something nicer.
This outfit sucks.
I really assumed you thought
that outfit was appropriate
to meet guests.
No way.
I learned a lot
when we went shopping together.
I've tried to be more mindful
about what I wear since then.
[Anzu] Man, I wish I had
a big sister like her.
Hoshino.
What Arisa said
about why I lived by myself
Yeah?
Uh, uh
[exhales deeply]
Never mind. Maybe another day.
Hmm
[Anzu] Uh, okay.
[Anzu] Is it just me or
- [Riri] Is this warm feeling friendship?
- [grunts]
Or is this excitement? Love!
Yay! Great job, Anzu, I'm so proud of you!
You were able to get
his big sister's approval,
even just like that.
I tell you how can you find love,
it's so fulfilling.
- Now, let's keep this up
- You know what? I didn't miss you one bit!
[Anzu roars]
- [slaps]
- Come on!
A FEW DAYS LATER
In order to address low birth rate issues,
Anzu was gifted a real-life dating sim
called Romantic Thriller.
And after many perfect scenarios,
I am reporting that there has been
zero romantic development.
I can't turn this in!
[frustrated groan]
Clearly, I have a lot more research to do.
I have an excellent idea!
- We can go on a date.
- What?
[Riri] I need to experience
what a real-life date is like,
so you and I will go on a mock date.
A mock date?
What are you even talking about?
I'm so over your nonsense.
[chuckling]
Aw, don't be such a meanie!
- Ha!
- [explosion]
- [Anzu] Huh?
- What if I look like this instead?
[chuckles]
[Anzu] Wait!
There's a boy version of you too?
[groans]
Whatever. Doesn't change anything.
I'm not asking you to do this for free.
- [Anzu] Huh?
- [Rio] I'll buy you those cat pajamas
you saw in the mall.
The one with the hoodies and tail.
[in deep voice]
It's a deal.
[groans in pain]
Let go!
Whoo! Can't believe I'm on my first date!
Tell me
[bright music]
Why did I have to dress up for this?
It's a date.
We're not hanging out
at a rest stop for truckers.
Hey! Do I really dress that badly?
Yep, just the worst.
Now, on with our date!
Ugh!
- [whimpers]
- Easy there, I'm not some sort of pervert.
Holding hands is what you do on dates.
I don't care. I don't want people
getting the wrong idea about us.
- [grunts]
- Hmm
[Rio] I'll buy you another cat shirt!
[Anzu grunts]
- Fine, then hold my hand.
- Ow, ow, ouch!
So, where are we going?
The most classic of dating activities.
The movies.
[laughter]
[Rio] A romantic movie always
gets the couple in the mood for love.
Slowly their hands touch.
- [girl gasps]
- Huh?
[Rio] And then, their lips touch.
[smooching]
You're twisted.
[indistinct chatter]
Is there anything good out right now?
Oh, any cat movies?
[Rio] No cats! We're on a date,
so we're definitely watching
a romantic movie!
ETERNAL STAR
What? That looks so lame.
One of those tearjerkers
where the girl dies in the end.
Tearjerkers are great!
So much romance,
it'll be the perfect reference material!
Using this kind of movie
is a reference
doesn't bode well for me.
[Makoto groans]
That was so good!
We've got to do this more often.
- [Tsukasa] Yeah.
- [Makoto] Hey, look!
- Need the bathroom first.
- [Makoto] Hosshi!
- [both] Huh?
- [Makoto] Hey, you!
- [Anzu gasps]
- Looking good all dressed up.
Kazuki, Makoto.
- Huh?
- Uh?
[gasps]
- [Anzu] Oh crap!
- [Anzu grunting]
How's it going?
I'm Anzu's cousin, Rio. Rio Fushigi.
I'm Riri's twin brother.
[Anzu] Yeah, nice backstory.
This is just great.
All the people in this town
and we had to run into these two?
Wait, didn't he set this up?
All right, we better get going then.
We're on a date.
- [smacks]
- Hey, don't say stuff like that.
Ignore him.
Rio just likes to mess around sometimes.
Bye!
- See ya, Hosshi. Oh, and Hosshi's cousin.
- [growls]
They seem oddly close
for being cousins, don't you think?
[Anzu grunts]
What's your problem?
Calm down, it's a mock date.
Gotta treat it like the real thing.
You're gonna give them
the wrong idea about me.
I'll sue you for defamation!
The lady doth protest too much.
[Anzu] Strange. Usually, he'd get Kazuki
and the others involved
in some crazy dating scenarios.
Maybe he really is trying
to learn about dating.
Too bad for him,
whatever he learns here,
I'll just destroy it!
- [chuckles mischievously]
- What's with that face?
Smiling weird like that makes you look
like you're coming unhinged.
There's nothing better than popcorn
at the movies.
- [munches]
- [yawns]
- And
- Um.
Yay! Just like a real date!
[chuckles]
[woman] After I'm gone,
I'll become one of the stars up there.
So when you look up at the night sky,
I'll always be there.
[Rio] This movie perfectly captures
the beauty of life's fleeting moments.
[girl] I promise.
[Rio] I can learn a thing or two
about romantic settings from this movie.
Although, it has no element of surprise.
And it looks like
Anzu may have been right.
The couples here
aren't flirting at all or cuddling.
Maybe this was the wrong choice of movie.
- [Anzu sobbing]
- Hm?
[Rio] Is she crying?
Huh?
[Anzu] Don't look at me.
[Rio hums awkwardly]
After all that talk about
how lame tearjerkers are,
- you were the one bawling your eyes out.
- [Anzu sniffling]
Just shut up.
This is why I hate watching
that kind of movie.
[blows nose]
It's not like you know those people.
It's all just make-believe.
There's not a single empathetic bone
in your body!
Well, duh? I'm not human after all.
I'm a wizard, remember?
[Anzu] That would explain
all his bizarre schemes.
Hey, let's go! I wanna try one of those.
Bubble tea? You've never had it?
Nope. I never really had the chance.
Plus, I always thought,
it kinda looks like rabbit poop, right?
Not being human doesn't give you license
to say whatever you want!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm ready to learn all about
the things that kids are into these days.
Mmm, let's go!
[sighs]
[light music]
[slurping]
Mmm, I forgot how good these are!
Too bad I couldn't get
the chocolate-flavored one.
- Chocolate also looks like poop.
- Ugh!
If you don't stop talking about poop,
I'm gonna feed you
to a stray cat and turn you into poop!
Why?
All right, let's try this.
[slurps, gasps]
[Rio] I was wrong.
It's not like rabbit poop.
Slimy texture
It's more like frog eggs!
- Right?
- How would I know?
This is so great!
We're talking just like a real couple!
So far we've talked about poop
more than anything else.
You've got strawberry milk?
I wanna try, too!
Mmm.
[slurps]
Hey, no!
You don't get to make fun of bubble tea
then steal mine!
We shared an indirect kiss.
I'll turn you into a bubble ball!
[grunts]
If you want, you can try mine.
I mean, sharing is what couples
are supposed to do, right?
Ugh, I don't want any.
[frustrated grunt]
[Anzu] Hijiri?
Oh, hello, Hoshino.
[Anzu] Hey, don't you have work today?
In a few hours.
I'm investigating other convenience stores
to master the needs of our clientele.
[Anzu] Master the needs of
Are you trying to win
"Best Store Clerk" award or something?
[Anzu] I didn't think
he'd last more than a day at that job,
but he's really going the extra mile.
- Ah, you must be one of Anzu's coworkers?
- [gasps]
Well, thanks for taking such good care
of my girl here.
- [Hijiri] Your girl?
- [Anzu grunts]
I don't belong to anyone!
[sighs]
Sorry, just ignore him.
He's my cousin.
You met his sister the other day, Riri.
Whatever.
Why would I care about
how you spend your time
Oh, but you really should.
If I remember correctly,
Anzu ditched you on date once, right?
That's a shame.
If you knew her better,
you'd plan based on what she likes.
That's why she goes out
on dates with me all the time.
Stop, Riri I meant, Rio!
[Hijiri] It could be true
that I was unable to take her
on a satisfactory date in the past.
However, now that I have mastered
the desires of the commoners,
I feel confident
our date would be superior.
Hmm I'd still plan a better date.
There's no way you'd know her
as well as I do.
- [electricity crackling]
- [Rio chuckling]
Let me guess. This is the
"Don't fight over me" scenario, right?
Only problem is you are both
a huge pain in my butt!
Now, scram!
Hijiri, don't listen to him.
He's just messing with you.
Seriously, don't even think about
asking me out on another date!
Do you hear me? No dates!
- [heavy footsteps]
- [soles scraping]
[Anzu] Why would you
provoke him like that?
- Don't you get it, Anzu?
- [gasps]
If he knows he has a rival,
he'll hurry and take things
to the next level.
Oh, that's why you got all handsy
when we saw Kazuki earlier!
Your plan didn't work.
He doesn't see me that way.
Uh, uh, uh.
Whenever a love rival shows up,
it can trigger the realization
of romantic feelings.
- Now, let's continue with our date!
- [Anzu groans]
SUPER BEAUTIFUL GLITTERING PRINTS
- Whoa, photobooth. Let's do it! Go!
- [Anzu squeals]
- Three, two, one, smile!
- [Anzu grumbles]
[camera shutter clicks]
[cheerful music]
SUPER BEAUTIFUL GLITTERING PRINTS
- [humming happily]
- Got to admit, I actually had fun today.
And I feel like I learned a ton of stuff.
Sitting on this bench, just the two of us,
very couple-ly.
Don't you think?
Yeah, whatever you say.
[Rio] Just imagine
how romantic it would be in the fall.
It'd be the perfect sunset in the park.
Couples love views at night
with pretty lights, right?
[Anzu] How do you know those things?
The gaps in your knowledge
are really baffling.
You know what I think?
I think you are the one
that's baffling, Anzu.
Yeah, okay, I'm not alone in this.
If you take away what people care about,
they fight back.
I don't know.
I think most humans will be lured in
by the prospect of love and desire.
Hmm.
[Anzu] I wouldn't fault anyone
who is lured in by temptation.
Everyone has to do it their way,
to thine own self be true.
But not me. I know myself.
I'm too stubborn.
I will get back everything you stole.
You've been warned.
[soft chuckle]
[chimes chiming]
- [screeching]
- [Rio] Well, so I guess you don't plan
on seeing Momohiki for a while.
Or maybe I beat you up right now!
Oh. Oh, I'm scared.
When will you give in and let me
grant you your hopes and dreams?
[grunts]
Let's just go home.
[chuckles]
[light music]
[Anzu] What should I make for dinner?
None for you, so don't even ask.
[chuckles]
You'll never change how you treat me, huh?
Oh well, if you'll excuse me.
I have a whole new plan to work out.
Thanks for spending the day with me.
Can't wait for you to see what's next!
[snorts]
It's on, so hit me with your best shot.
[laughs]
Today was fun.
Let's do this again sometime.
- Mmm.
- [Anzu gasps]
A kiss? No, you did not!
[laughs]
Aw, did I get you a little excited?
- [bicycle crashes]
- Huh?
Junta!
- What the heck? You fell?
- [Junta whimpers]
- Are you okay?
- [Junta groans]
- [hurried footsteps]
- [Junta sobbing]
[Anzu] You didn't just see that, did you?
- Uh, I'm okay.
- [Anzu] We traumatized him!
It's nothing. He's my cousin.
He was just messing around.
Hey, what's wrong with you?
Why the hell did you do that?
Looks like rivals
don't work on Junta either.
- [groans]
- No, it's not like that! Hey!
A fanfare, please!
And a big congratulations!
Did you fall for my little trick?
I bet now you don't feel like
skipping the ending, right?
In today's world, you can watch
whatever you want at your own convenience.
But don't you think in that process
we've also lost something?
[sighs]
Don't just let things be! Come on!
Let's go on a super-duper happy adventure!
So I can make sure I get paid.
[closing theme music]
Ah, yeah! ♪
Let's go! ♪
Lo-love! ♪
Here we go! ♪