Rugrats (1991) s01e08 Episode Script
Real or Robots? / Special Delivery
[ gasps]
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
AT LAST.
MY EXPERIMENT
IS ALMOST COMPLETE.
SOON I WILL REPLACE
EVERY MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD
WITH MY ROBOTS
AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
[ gasps]
OH, NO! DAD!
You're a robot!
[ gasping]
THIS MOVIE IS WAY TOO SCARY
FOR YOU KIDS.
COME ON,
IT'S TIME FOR BED.
[ yelling]
GOOD NIGHT, CHUCKIE.
YOUR MOM AND DAD
WILL COME OVER TO GET YOU
IN THE MORNING.
GOOD NIGHT, TOMMY.
SLEEP TIGHT.
TOMMY,
AREN'T YOU SLEEPY?
NO. I'M THINKING.
ABOUT WHAT?
ROBOTS.
DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT, TOMMY.
YOU'LL GET BAD DREAMS.
I CAN'T HELP I
BECAUSE, WELL, MAYBE
ANYBODY COULD BE ROBOTS.
LIKE WHO?
LIKE ANYBODY, CHUCKIE.
LIKE THE MAILMAN
OR THE MAN
WHO SELLS ICE CREAM
OR EVEN OUR OWN MOMS AND DADS.
WHAT?
MAYBE OUR REAL MOMS AND DADS
HAVE BEEN TAKEN CAPTURED
TO THE PLANET MARS.
NO. THAT CAN'T BE TRUE.
I DON'T KNOW.
DID YOU SEE
HOW MY DAD LOOKED
WHEN HE TURNED OFF
THE TV?
HE DIDN'T LOOK LIKE
HE USUALLY DOES.
HE LOOKED LIKE, UH
A ROBOT.
NO, TOMMY.
STOP SAYING STUFF
LIKE THAT.
IT'S NOT TRUE.
MAYBE NOT, CHUCKIE,
BUT I CAN'T SLEEP
UNTIL I FIND OUT
FOR SURE.
TOO MANY WING NUTS.
THE SCREWS JUST DON'T FIT.
TOO MANY WING NUTS.
STU, HONEY,
I'M WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.
I THINK YOU'VE BEEN
WORKING TOO HARD LATELY.
I CAN TAP IN ANYWHERE
AND JUST GET
STU?
HUH? OKAY, DEAR.
I'LL FIX THE BLENDER
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
YOU DON'T GET TO SLEEP
YOU'RE GOING TO START
SLEEPWALKING AGAIN.
DON'T WORRY, DEED,
I'M FINE.
OKAY, BUT I WORRY ABOUT YOU.
LAST TIME YOU WALKED
IN YOUR SLEEP
YOU REARRANGED YOUR SOCKS
AND TRIED TO MAKE
A 13-EGG OMELETTE
ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR.
ALL I NEED
IS A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP
AND I'LL BE FINE.
I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY.
MAYBE THIS ISN'T
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
SHH. COME ON.
WE GOT TO FIND OUT.
OH!
WHAT'S THAT?
[ chiming]
IT'S JUST
A CLOCK, CHUCKIE.
COME ON.
[ snoring]
LET'S GO.
IF HE'S A ROBO
THEN HE DOESN'T NEED
TO BREATHE, RIGHT?
UH, UH, I GUESS NOT.
TOMMY?!
Stu:
OKAY.
THAT OUGHT TO FIX
THIS BROKEN CRIB.
'NIGHT AGAIN, KIDS.
WELL, THAT PROVES IT,
TOMMY.
YOUR DAD'S NOT A ROBOT.
THAT DOESN'T
PROVE ANYTHING.
HUH?
DID YOU
HEAR THOSE WEIRD NOISES
COMING FROM HIM
WHEN HE WAS IN BED?
I BET HE'S GOT GEARS IN HIM
LIKE THAT ROBOT ON TV.
YOU KNOW
WHAT WE GOT TO DO NOW.
I DO?
YEP. WE GOT TO GO IN THERE
AND OPEN UP HIS CHEST PLATE.
OH, NO.
LET'S GO BACK.
PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU.
I'M GOING TO CRAWL UP
ON HIS CHEST.
HERE, CHUCKIE.
YOU HOLD THE FLASHLIGHT.
[ grunting]
[ gasping]
WHEW.
YOU KNOW, UH, TOMMY
WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY.
WE CAN GO.
SHH.
WE GO
TO FIND THE BOLTS
THAT OPEN UP THE CHEST PLATE.
SEE?
THERE THEY ARE.
[ yelling]
[ screaming]
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
NOW THAT YOUR DAD
TAPED US INTO THE CRIB
AT LEAST DO YOU BELIEVE
HE'S NOT A ROBOT?
NOPE. HE MUST BE A ROBOT.
THAT'S HOW COME
HE'S TRYING
TO KEEP US IN HERE.
HE DOESN'T WANT US
TO FIND OUT HIS SECRET.
[ thunder cracks]
TOMMY, WAIT.
WE CAN STILL GO BACK.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
CHUCKIE, I GOT TO KNOW
IF MY DAD'S A ROBOT.
I GOT TO FIND OUT
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
TOMMY, ROBOTS AREN'T REAL.
THEY'RE JUST PRETEND.
THERE'S NO SUCH THINGS
AS ROBOTS.
[ Stu moaning]
[ gasping]
[ moaning]
[ screaming]
[ panting]
YOU WERE RIGHT!
HE IS A ROBOT!
I GOT TO EAT FIRST.
I HAVE TO EAT FIRST.
I GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING
IN MY STOMACH.
I GOT TO HAVE
MAYBE SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW.
FRY UP SOMETHING
MAYBE SOME
NICE OMELETTE
FLUFFY OMELETTE
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AND NOW, FOR MY NEXT DISH,
I'D LIKE TO CREATE
THE FAMOUS
STU PICKLE'S OMELETTE.
WHAT'S HE DOING?
MY LOVELY ASSISTANT RAMONA
WILL HOLD THE BOWL
AS I DEMONSTRATE
MY CULINARY MAGIC.
ONE POTATO
TWO POTATO
THREE POTATO
SIX POTATO
POTATO
16 POTATO
119 POTATO
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
MUST BE SOME KIND
OF ROBOT CODE FROM MARS.
DREW?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
IT'S MY COOKING SHOW,
DREW.
YOU'RE NOT TRYING
TO STEAL
MY SECRET RECIPE?
DREW
COME BACK HERE.
COME BACK, DREW.
I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
OFF!
[ screaming]
Stu:
COME BACK.
[ yelling]
[ grunting]
OOH!
ONE POTATO, TWO POTATO,
THREE POTATO, FOUR
STU?
WHERE'S DREW?
ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY?
YEAH, I GUESS SO, RAMONA.
RAMONA?
WHO'S RAMONA?
MY ASSISTANT.
OH, STU.
YOU'VE BEEN
SLEEPWALKING AGAIN.
STU?
HUH?
OKAY, DEAR.
I'LL FIX THE BLENDER
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
[ gasping]
Stu:
THEY LOOK SO CUTE AND INNOCENT
WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING.
Didi:
DON'T THEY JUST?
THIS MAY SOUND CRAZY
BUT I DREAMT
THAT TOMMY AND CHUCKIE
KEPT COMING INTO OUR BEDROOM
AND TRYING TO OPEN MY CHEST
WITH A PLASTIC SCREWDRIVER.
OH, COME ON.
YEAH, LIKE I WAS
A ROBOT OR SOMETHING.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
HOW SILLY.
TOMMY LOVES YOU.
HE WOULDN'T DO THAT.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT WAS JUST PROBABLY
SOME CRAZY DREAM.
YOU KNOW, DEED
WE'RE LUCKY TO HAVE
SUCH A GREAT KID.
Didi:
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.
OH, DEED.
[ door shuts]
I GUESS YOU WERE RIGHT, CHUCKIE.
MY DAD ISN'T
A ROBOT AFTER ALL.
YEAH.
BUT WHAT ABOUT MYDAD?!
[ thunder cracks]
My name is Patty Pants
and I need a new diaper.
NO, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO NEED A NEW DIAPER.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO NEED A HUG.
NOW, LET'S SEE
MAYBE IF I
JUST TWEAKED THIS A LITTLE.
OKAY, NOW LET'S TRY IT.
My name is
Patty Pants and I do, I do,
I do
OH, THIS JUST ISN'T MY DAY.
SPIKE?
WAKE UP, SPIKE.
[ growling]
WHERE YOU GOING?
[ growling]
OH!
[ grunting]
[ barking]
[ growling]
Stu:
AH, GOOD.
MAIL'S HERE.
HEY, DIDI.
THE EGGBERT CATALOG'S HERE.
THAT'S NICE, DEAR.
WONDER WHAT'S NEW
OH, NO!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
THIS IS THE WORST THING
THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN.
WHAT'S WRONG, STU?
THESE TOY PEOPLE.
THEY BEAT ME TO THE PUNCH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LOOK.
IT TALKS, IT WALKS,
AND IT WETS.
IT EVEN GETS REAL DIAPER RASH.
SO?
MY PATTY PANTS DOLL
IS SIX MONTHS AWAY
FROM DIAPER RASH.
THIS ONE'S AVAILABLE
IMMEDIATELY.
I'M RUINED!
YOU'RE OVERREACTING.
THAT STUFF NEVER LOOKS AS GOOD
AS IT DOES IN THE CATALOG.
I TELL YOU, I'M RUINED.
WHY DON'T YOU ORDER I
AND SEE
FOR YOURSELF?
THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA.
I CAN ORDER ONE
FOR NEXT-DAY DELIVERY.
SEE, TOMMY-- A NEW LITTLE BABY
FOR YOU
TO PLAY WITH.
SHE'S COMING
IN THE MAIL.
[ door buzzer]
I'LL GET IT.
OH, HI, BETTY.
HEY, WHAT'S COOKING?
CAN I HAVE
THAT CATALOG?
I NEED
THAT PHONE NUMBER.
OH, HI, BETTY.
WHAT'S EATING HIM?
IT'S THAT PATTY PANTS PROJECT,
BETTY.
STILL WORKING
ON THAT?
Didi:
HE STILL CAN'T GET I
TO WET REALISTICALLY.
SHAME.
SAY, WHY DON'T
YOU TELL ME ABOUT I
OVER A CUP
OF BAVARIAN MOCHA?
GUESS WHAT?
WHAT?WHAT?
MY DAD SAYS WE'RE GETTING
ANOTHER BABY.
THAT'S FUNNY.
OUR MOM'S GETTING ONE TOO.
REALLY?
WHERE WILL
SHE FIND IT?
A STORK BRINGS THEM.
I GOT A BOOK ABOUT IT.
NOT THE STORK.
THEY COME
FROM THE STORE.
UH-UH!
IT'S STORK,LILLIAN.
STORE!
STORK!
STORE!
MY MOM SAYS I CAME
FROM THE HOSPITAL.
THE HOSPITAL?
NAH, THAT'S WHERE YOU GO
WHEN YOU GET SICK.
MY DAD SAYS OUR NEW BABY'S
GOING TO COME IN THE MAIL.
WOW, TOMMY!
YOU MEAN RIGHT
THROUGH THAT HOLE
IN THE DOOR?
YUP, IT'S COMING TOMORROW
AND I'M GOING TO WAIT RIGHT HERE
SO I CAN MEET IT.
[ whistling]
[ growling]
[ barking]
BABY?
THE MAIL'S HERE.
I GOT TO TALK TO THE MAILMAN.
WELL,
WHERE IS SHE?
WHO?
TINA TROUSERS.
AM I THE DEPARTMEN
OF MISSING PERSONS?
NO, TINA TROUSERS IS A DOLL.
MISTER, I DON'T CARE
WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
A TOY DOLL.
SHE WAS COMING TODAY.
OH.
YEAH, YOU GO
A PACKAGE
BUT IT WAS TOO BIG.
YOU'LL HAVE TO PICK IT UP
AT THE POST OFFICE.
WHAT? I HAVEN'T GOT TIME
TO GO WAI
AT THE POST OFFICE.
I DON'T MAKE THE RULES.
MAIL SERVICE SURE ISN'T
WHAT IT USED TO BE.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
THIS BAG GETS HEAVIER
ALL THE TIME.
BABY?
BABY.
[ barking and screaming]
BABY.
OH OH
[ buzzer]
[ bawling]
[ scream]
[ giggling]
[ gleeful screaming]
[ grunting]
MMMM.
NO. NO BABY.
[ screams]
[ screams]
[ screams]
[ screams]
BABY.
HI. YOU MUST BE
THE BABY.
I'M TOMMY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
Mama.
REALLY? THAT'S MY MOM'S NAME
TOO.
NEXT.
RIGHT HERE!
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO YELL, SIR.
YOU GOT
A SPECIAL DELIVERY
FOR STU PICKLES
FROM THE EGGBERT
TOY COMPANY?
AND?
AND I'D LIKE IT
SOMETIME BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
NO NEED TO BE RUDE
SIR.
LET'S SEE, EGGBERT.
EGGBERT
MUST BE UNDER "R."
JUST A SECOND.
LOOK,
MY DAD'S HERE.
HE'LL TAKE US HOME.
HEY, THIS PACKAGE
IS A MESS.
IT'S BEEN TORN OPEN.
NO CHARGE.
THE OLD DAYS IN THE POST OFFICE
WERE BETTER
NEXT.
YOU'LL LIKE IT AT HOME.
IT'S A LOT NICER
THAN HERE.
Mama!
YUP, MOM'S THERE TOO.
DIDI, IT'S HERE!
I CAN'T WAIT.
HEY, DIDI!
THE DOLL'S HERE.
BABY?
HMM. THIS ISLIFELIKE.
[ sniffs]
EVEN SMELLS LIFELIKE.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
I'D SAY THAT WAS TOMMY.
[ Tommy and Grandpa laughing]
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
AT LAST.
MY EXPERIMENT
IS ALMOST COMPLETE.
SOON I WILL REPLACE
EVERY MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD
WITH MY ROBOTS
AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
[ gasps]
OH, NO! DAD!
You're a robot!
[ gasping]
THIS MOVIE IS WAY TOO SCARY
FOR YOU KIDS.
COME ON,
IT'S TIME FOR BED.
[ yelling]
GOOD NIGHT, CHUCKIE.
YOUR MOM AND DAD
WILL COME OVER TO GET YOU
IN THE MORNING.
GOOD NIGHT, TOMMY.
SLEEP TIGHT.
TOMMY,
AREN'T YOU SLEEPY?
NO. I'M THINKING.
ABOUT WHAT?
ROBOTS.
DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT, TOMMY.
YOU'LL GET BAD DREAMS.
I CAN'T HELP I
BECAUSE, WELL, MAYBE
ANYBODY COULD BE ROBOTS.
LIKE WHO?
LIKE ANYBODY, CHUCKIE.
LIKE THE MAILMAN
OR THE MAN
WHO SELLS ICE CREAM
OR EVEN OUR OWN MOMS AND DADS.
WHAT?
MAYBE OUR REAL MOMS AND DADS
HAVE BEEN TAKEN CAPTURED
TO THE PLANET MARS.
NO. THAT CAN'T BE TRUE.
I DON'T KNOW.
DID YOU SEE
HOW MY DAD LOOKED
WHEN HE TURNED OFF
THE TV?
HE DIDN'T LOOK LIKE
HE USUALLY DOES.
HE LOOKED LIKE, UH
A ROBOT.
NO, TOMMY.
STOP SAYING STUFF
LIKE THAT.
IT'S NOT TRUE.
MAYBE NOT, CHUCKIE,
BUT I CAN'T SLEEP
UNTIL I FIND OUT
FOR SURE.
TOO MANY WING NUTS.
THE SCREWS JUST DON'T FIT.
TOO MANY WING NUTS.
STU, HONEY,
I'M WORRIED
ABOUT YOU.
I THINK YOU'VE BEEN
WORKING TOO HARD LATELY.
I CAN TAP IN ANYWHERE
AND JUST GET
STU?
HUH? OKAY, DEAR.
I'LL FIX THE BLENDER
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
YOU DON'T GET TO SLEEP
YOU'RE GOING TO START
SLEEPWALKING AGAIN.
DON'T WORRY, DEED,
I'M FINE.
OKAY, BUT I WORRY ABOUT YOU.
LAST TIME YOU WALKED
IN YOUR SLEEP
YOU REARRANGED YOUR SOCKS
AND TRIED TO MAKE
A 13-EGG OMELETTE
ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR.
ALL I NEED
IS A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP
AND I'LL BE FINE.
I DON'T KNOW, TOMMY.
MAYBE THIS ISN'T
SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
SHH. COME ON.
WE GOT TO FIND OUT.
OH!
WHAT'S THAT?
[ chiming]
IT'S JUST
A CLOCK, CHUCKIE.
COME ON.
[ snoring]
LET'S GO.
IF HE'S A ROBO
THEN HE DOESN'T NEED
TO BREATHE, RIGHT?
UH, UH, I GUESS NOT.
TOMMY?!
Stu:
OKAY.
THAT OUGHT TO FIX
THIS BROKEN CRIB.
'NIGHT AGAIN, KIDS.
WELL, THAT PROVES IT,
TOMMY.
YOUR DAD'S NOT A ROBOT.
THAT DOESN'T
PROVE ANYTHING.
HUH?
DID YOU
HEAR THOSE WEIRD NOISES
COMING FROM HIM
WHEN HE WAS IN BED?
I BET HE'S GOT GEARS IN HIM
LIKE THAT ROBOT ON TV.
YOU KNOW
WHAT WE GOT TO DO NOW.
I DO?
YEP. WE GOT TO GO IN THERE
AND OPEN UP HIS CHEST PLATE.
OH, NO.
LET'S GO BACK.
PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU.
I'M GOING TO CRAWL UP
ON HIS CHEST.
HERE, CHUCKIE.
YOU HOLD THE FLASHLIGHT.
[ grunting]
[ gasping]
WHEW.
YOU KNOW, UH, TOMMY
WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY.
WE CAN GO.
SHH.
WE GO
TO FIND THE BOLTS
THAT OPEN UP THE CHEST PLATE.
SEE?
THERE THEY ARE.
[ yelling]
[ screaming]
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
NOW THAT YOUR DAD
TAPED US INTO THE CRIB
AT LEAST DO YOU BELIEVE
HE'S NOT A ROBOT?
NOPE. HE MUST BE A ROBOT.
THAT'S HOW COME
HE'S TRYING
TO KEEP US IN HERE.
HE DOESN'T WANT US
TO FIND OUT HIS SECRET.
[ thunder cracks]
TOMMY, WAIT.
WE CAN STILL GO BACK.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
CHUCKIE, I GOT TO KNOW
IF MY DAD'S A ROBOT.
I GOT TO FIND OUT
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
TOMMY, ROBOTS AREN'T REAL.
THEY'RE JUST PRETEND.
THERE'S NO SUCH THINGS
AS ROBOTS.
[ Stu moaning]
[ gasping]
[ moaning]
[ screaming]
[ panting]
YOU WERE RIGHT!
HE IS A ROBOT!
I GOT TO EAT FIRST.
I HAVE TO EAT FIRST.
I GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING
IN MY STOMACH.
I GOT TO HAVE
MAYBE SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW.
FRY UP SOMETHING
MAYBE SOME
NICE OMELETTE
FLUFFY OMELETTE
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AND NOW, FOR MY NEXT DISH,
I'D LIKE TO CREATE
THE FAMOUS
STU PICKLE'S OMELETTE.
WHAT'S HE DOING?
MY LOVELY ASSISTANT RAMONA
WILL HOLD THE BOWL
AS I DEMONSTRATE
MY CULINARY MAGIC.
ONE POTATO
TWO POTATO
THREE POTATO
SIX POTATO
POTATO
16 POTATO
119 POTATO
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
MUST BE SOME KIND
OF ROBOT CODE FROM MARS.
DREW?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
IT'S MY COOKING SHOW,
DREW.
YOU'RE NOT TRYING
TO STEAL
MY SECRET RECIPE?
DREW
COME BACK HERE.
COME BACK, DREW.
I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
OFF!
[ screaming]
Stu:
COME BACK.
[ yelling]
[ grunting]
OOH!
ONE POTATO, TWO POTATO,
THREE POTATO, FOUR
STU?
WHERE'S DREW?
ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY?
YEAH, I GUESS SO, RAMONA.
RAMONA?
WHO'S RAMONA?
MY ASSISTANT.
OH, STU.
YOU'VE BEEN
SLEEPWALKING AGAIN.
STU?
HUH?
OKAY, DEAR.
I'LL FIX THE BLENDER
FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
[ gasping]
Stu:
THEY LOOK SO CUTE AND INNOCENT
WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING.
Didi:
DON'T THEY JUST?
THIS MAY SOUND CRAZY
BUT I DREAMT
THAT TOMMY AND CHUCKIE
KEPT COMING INTO OUR BEDROOM
AND TRYING TO OPEN MY CHEST
WITH A PLASTIC SCREWDRIVER.
OH, COME ON.
YEAH, LIKE I WAS
A ROBOT OR SOMETHING.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
HOW SILLY.
TOMMY LOVES YOU.
HE WOULDN'T DO THAT.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT WAS JUST PROBABLY
SOME CRAZY DREAM.
YOU KNOW, DEED
WE'RE LUCKY TO HAVE
SUCH A GREAT KID.
Didi:
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.
OH, DEED.
[ door shuts]
I GUESS YOU WERE RIGHT, CHUCKIE.
MY DAD ISN'T
A ROBOT AFTER ALL.
YEAH.
BUT WHAT ABOUT MYDAD?!
[ thunder cracks]
My name is Patty Pants
and I need a new diaper.
NO, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO NEED A NEW DIAPER.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO NEED A HUG.
NOW, LET'S SEE
MAYBE IF I
JUST TWEAKED THIS A LITTLE.
OKAY, NOW LET'S TRY IT.
My name is
Patty Pants and I do, I do,
I do
OH, THIS JUST ISN'T MY DAY.
SPIKE?
WAKE UP, SPIKE.
[ growling]
WHERE YOU GOING?
[ growling]
OH!
[ grunting]
[ barking]
[ growling]
Stu:
AH, GOOD.
MAIL'S HERE.
HEY, DIDI.
THE EGGBERT CATALOG'S HERE.
THAT'S NICE, DEAR.
WONDER WHAT'S NEW
OH, NO!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
THIS IS THE WORST THING
THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN.
WHAT'S WRONG, STU?
THESE TOY PEOPLE.
THEY BEAT ME TO THE PUNCH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LOOK.
IT TALKS, IT WALKS,
AND IT WETS.
IT EVEN GETS REAL DIAPER RASH.
SO?
MY PATTY PANTS DOLL
IS SIX MONTHS AWAY
FROM DIAPER RASH.
THIS ONE'S AVAILABLE
IMMEDIATELY.
I'M RUINED!
YOU'RE OVERREACTING.
THAT STUFF NEVER LOOKS AS GOOD
AS IT DOES IN THE CATALOG.
I TELL YOU, I'M RUINED.
WHY DON'T YOU ORDER I
AND SEE
FOR YOURSELF?
THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA.
I CAN ORDER ONE
FOR NEXT-DAY DELIVERY.
SEE, TOMMY-- A NEW LITTLE BABY
FOR YOU
TO PLAY WITH.
SHE'S COMING
IN THE MAIL.
[ door buzzer]
I'LL GET IT.
OH, HI, BETTY.
HEY, WHAT'S COOKING?
CAN I HAVE
THAT CATALOG?
I NEED
THAT PHONE NUMBER.
OH, HI, BETTY.
WHAT'S EATING HIM?
IT'S THAT PATTY PANTS PROJECT,
BETTY.
STILL WORKING
ON THAT?
Didi:
HE STILL CAN'T GET I
TO WET REALISTICALLY.
SHAME.
SAY, WHY DON'T
YOU TELL ME ABOUT I
OVER A CUP
OF BAVARIAN MOCHA?
GUESS WHAT?
WHAT?WHAT?
MY DAD SAYS WE'RE GETTING
ANOTHER BABY.
THAT'S FUNNY.
OUR MOM'S GETTING ONE TOO.
REALLY?
WHERE WILL
SHE FIND IT?
A STORK BRINGS THEM.
I GOT A BOOK ABOUT IT.
NOT THE STORK.
THEY COME
FROM THE STORE.
UH-UH!
IT'S STORK,LILLIAN.
STORE!
STORK!
STORE!
MY MOM SAYS I CAME
FROM THE HOSPITAL.
THE HOSPITAL?
NAH, THAT'S WHERE YOU GO
WHEN YOU GET SICK.
MY DAD SAYS OUR NEW BABY'S
GOING TO COME IN THE MAIL.
WOW, TOMMY!
YOU MEAN RIGHT
THROUGH THAT HOLE
IN THE DOOR?
YUP, IT'S COMING TOMORROW
AND I'M GOING TO WAIT RIGHT HERE
SO I CAN MEET IT.
[ whistling]
[ growling]
[ barking]
BABY?
THE MAIL'S HERE.
I GOT TO TALK TO THE MAILMAN.
WELL,
WHERE IS SHE?
WHO?
TINA TROUSERS.
AM I THE DEPARTMEN
OF MISSING PERSONS?
NO, TINA TROUSERS IS A DOLL.
MISTER, I DON'T CARE
WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
A TOY DOLL.
SHE WAS COMING TODAY.
OH.
YEAH, YOU GO
A PACKAGE
BUT IT WAS TOO BIG.
YOU'LL HAVE TO PICK IT UP
AT THE POST OFFICE.
WHAT? I HAVEN'T GOT TIME
TO GO WAI
AT THE POST OFFICE.
I DON'T MAKE THE RULES.
MAIL SERVICE SURE ISN'T
WHAT IT USED TO BE.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
THIS BAG GETS HEAVIER
ALL THE TIME.
BABY?
BABY.
[ barking and screaming]
BABY.
OH OH
[ buzzer]
[ bawling]
[ scream]
[ giggling]
[ gleeful screaming]
[ grunting]
MMMM.
NO. NO BABY.
[ screams]
[ screams]
[ screams]
[ screams]
BABY.
HI. YOU MUST BE
THE BABY.
I'M TOMMY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
Mama.
REALLY? THAT'S MY MOM'S NAME
TOO.
NEXT.
RIGHT HERE!
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO YELL, SIR.
YOU GOT
A SPECIAL DELIVERY
FOR STU PICKLES
FROM THE EGGBERT
TOY COMPANY?
AND?
AND I'D LIKE IT
SOMETIME BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
NO NEED TO BE RUDE
SIR.
LET'S SEE, EGGBERT.
EGGBERT
MUST BE UNDER "R."
JUST A SECOND.
LOOK,
MY DAD'S HERE.
HE'LL TAKE US HOME.
HEY, THIS PACKAGE
IS A MESS.
IT'S BEEN TORN OPEN.
NO CHARGE.
THE OLD DAYS IN THE POST OFFICE
WERE BETTER
NEXT.
YOU'LL LIKE IT AT HOME.
IT'S A LOT NICER
THAN HERE.
Mama!
YUP, MOM'S THERE TOO.
DIDI, IT'S HERE!
I CAN'T WAIT.
HEY, DIDI!
THE DOLL'S HERE.
BABY?
HMM. THIS ISLIFELIKE.
[ sniffs]
EVEN SMELLS LIFELIKE.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
I'D SAY THAT WAS TOMMY.
[ Tommy and Grandpa laughing]
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation