Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983) s01e08 Episode Script
Saved by the Bells
Yes, sir.
Go right in.
WOMAN [O VER RADIO.]
: Lee, where is he? - He's inside.
Okay, our people have the building sealed.
[LOCK CHIMES.]
- What's taking so long? - I don't know.
LEE: Some people are coming out.
- Rostov? No, not yet.
Unless he's gone undercover as a coed or a nun.
A nun.
Hello? [WOMAN SHOUTING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
MAN: It's a man.
Rostov, I've waited a long time for this.
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
BILLY: There we are.
LEE: Thank you, sir.
It's a sad day for Moscow, but it's a happy one here.
[ALL CHEER.]
- Lee, nice work.
MAN: Well done.
What a man.
A lesser man might have balked at tackling a nun, but not you.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
- Thank you.
- Oh, anytime.
Hey, everybody, drink up.
We have just captured the leader of the most successful espionage ring in the country.
Uh, we? I like to think of us as one big team around here.
Sharing in the pain, sharing in the heartache.
- Sharing the credit.
- Lf I must.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
Here's to Francine, who really busted her pencil point on this one while I busted my - Knock it off.
[ALL GRO AN.]
- Lee, let me talk to you for a minute.
- All right.
Lee, there's a lot about this Rostov thing I just don't understand.
And I'll bet it's the kind of thing that Francine could sink her teeth into.
- Francine? - Yeah.
Haven't you noticed what a fireball she's gotten to be? - Okay, Stetson, what's up? - Nothing.
I think that Francine is a tremendous talent.
I wanna go to Bermuda for two weeks.
Two weeks? Do you realize the kind of case load that we carry here? Come on, Billy.
I need a little sand, a little sun.
I wanna meet some women.
- You wanna meet? - I am a Ionely man.
- How did it go? - Not great.
Nicholas is furious about Rostov, he says he's too valuable to the organization, insists we get him back.
- How are we supposed to do that? - Set up a trade.
Nicholas thinks the Americans would be willing to trade Rostov if we were holding one of their important agents.
Nicholas gave me a lead on somebody big.
Paid a fortune for this address.
Tomorrow we pick up Scarecrow.
I wanna invite the Cub Scout Den and the Little League Team and all my friends from school.
Sweetheart, that's an awful lot of people.
It's a birthday party, but we haven't rented a big barn for it.
PHILIP: What about Mark and Jeff? - They're fifth grade.
- So am I.
- You live here.
You gotta come.
PHILIP: Thanks a lot.
- I just wanna invite my friends.
What about Pretzel the Clown? You said I could have him at my party.
Dean said that he would try to get him as a surprise for you.
Why don't you take those sandwiches outside and have a picnic? JAMIE & PHILIP: All right.
I don't want you jumping around.
You'll make my cake fall.
DOTTY: Run on.
- Now be careful, stay in the backyard.
Speaking of Dean, I think I have pinpointed what it is about him you find most resistible.
Mother, there's nothing about him that's most resistible.
Amanda, I have known you since you were teensy.
- I know when your fires are fanned.
- Gosh.
Is it because you find him so predictable? I mean, there is a playful side to Dean that you may not know about.
I swore I wouldn't tell you this but do you know what the weather bureau is going to call the next major hurricane? Amanda! At the suggestion of Dean we are crossing our fingers that it happens on St.
Valentine's Day.
[AMANDA GRO ANS AND PHONE RINGS.]
I'll get it.
Hello? What? Uh, well No, I'm very busy.
I'm baking a cake for Jamie's birthday.
No, I don't think a fifth of rum would spice it up.
[AMANDA CLEARS THRO AT.]
What's that? Well, how ill is Melvin? No, I understand.
If you need to talk and it's urgent I can be there in, uh, just a few minutes.
Sure.
Okay.
No problem.
Yeah.
Bye-bye.
- What's the problem? - No problem.
It's one of my dog walking clients' sick St.
Bernard.
- What's the matter? - Hangover.
AMANDA: Now when you told me you had a sick friend you didn't tell me that your friend was a fish.
- Didn't I? - Mm-mm.
Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
So, uh can I count on you to take care of him while I'm away in Bermuda? Bermuda.
Yeah.
You called me because you know that I'm so sensitive and sympathetic and in touch with nature.
You're the only one I know that'll do it.
He doesn't even bother to lie anymore.
Why should he? Everybody knows you can count on good old reliable Amanda.
Amanda, feeding my fish is part and parcel of good agenting.
Really? How so? Well, it demonstrates your loyalty to your partner.
Oh.
I think if I were to go to Nairobi for a week you probably wouldn't even notice until your plants needed to be watered.
I really appreciate this.
Terrific.
Well, tell you what.
As long as I'm here I think I'll clean your apartment up a little bit.
Uh, no.
- You don't need to do that.
- It's all right, I insist.
- No, you don't have to do that.
- No, I insist.
Men, this is Amanda King.
She'll be taking care of you.
So you do everything she says, huh? Is there anything else I need to tell you? [AMANDA SIGHS.]
Yes.
Is it legal in this state to grow penicillin? LEE: Uh, heh Amanda, you're a pal, you know that? Heh.
Yeah.
I will see you in a week and believe me, I really do appreciate this.
- Yeah.
- Bye.
Oh, Lee, wanna play tennis? Ha.
- Have fun.
- Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Need some fresh air in here.
Right, fishy? Hmm? Here, look at this.
It appears that Scarecrow may be a woman.
Wait here till I make the call.
I'll signal if it's a go.
[PHONE RINGING.]
- Hello? JAMESON [O VER PHONE.]
: Scarecrow? Yes? Um, uh, no.
I mean [LINE CLICKS.]
Hello? Hello? [SIGHS.]
His friends are ruder than he is.
Give me a break.
[CLICKING.]
Lee? BILLY: How the hell could something like this happen? It's not as bad as it looks, maybe it's a practical joke.
You know Lee? Always the class clown? - I'm not laughing.
- Will you take it easy on the jacket? Hey, gee, it's nice to be back.
- Oh, Lee, we're so glad to see you.
- Yeah? Tell Cagney and Lacey to let go, will you? BILLY: Okay, fellas.
- Thank you.
It is not often you get pulled off a Bermuda-bound 747 while it is sitting on the runway.
Usually it is the plane that gets hijacked, not the passenger.
We had to find out if you were all right.
- Feel better now? - Will you listen to this? What? ZINO VIEV [ON RECORDING.]
: We've got the Scarecrow.
You have Rostov.
We want to trade.
Please understand, if you don't make this trade within 24 hours, Scarecrow will die.
That tape arrived thirty minutes ago.
It said that this would prove they had you.
Basic diet for Siamese fighting fish.
Oh, my God.
What is this, Lee, if they don't have you who have they got? - Amanda.
- What did you say? - They've got Amanda.
[DOG BARKING.]
You are very calm, Zinoviev.
For a man who has done everything possible to ruin an entire mission.
Rostov is one of our leading operatives.
Respected and feared even by the West.
We had to get him out.
Twenty American jet fighters will rot on our runways unless we get the necessary spare parts.
You should have thought of that before you broke relations with the United States.
Never bite the hand that sells cheap.
At any rate, we can recover Rostov still smuggle the American parts that you need and everyone will live happily ever after.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Ah, the delivery I have been expecting.
Mr.
Arcady, you know, uh, Mr.
Jameson, Mr.
Delong.
[AMANDA GRO ANING.]
At last we meet.
I must say, I have been looking forward to this for a long time.
I hope your trip was not unpleasant.
Excuse me.
Ow! How dare you.
Who are you? Where am I? Look.
I have a birthday party to get together.
There is no need to carry on this charade any further.
In the name of those who admire your work, Scarecrow I salute you.
What did you say? I had no idea you were so lovely.
It's a pity I may have to kill you.
They've been through the tape, there's no leads, no nothing.
The switchboard says there wasn't time for a trace.
When they find out she's not Scarecrow it is over, just like that.
The Intelligence Oversight Committee just met on the trade.
- Dirk will be here with the decision.
- Dirk.
The guy delivers bad news, that's his job and life, Billy.
That's a cruel assessment, Mr.
Stetson.
What was the committee's decision? We are to proceed with the debriefing of Rostov.
We've decided not to accept the Russian offer.
- What? - We're not making the trade.
- Now you listen - All right.
May I ask why? The loss of Rostov will disrupt the Soviet espionage effort for months.
For this, we give up a woman of no crucial importance.
These are the committee's words, not mine.
Yeah, but you will enforce the decision.
Yes.
Reluctantly.
Mrs.
King is over-eager, that's no reason she should die.
Except that she will.
Rostov is of tremendous value to the West, gentlemen and of course, the Public Relations benefits will be substantial.
Again, I'm quoting.
If you'll excuse me, I'm late for something or other.
I'm sorry, Stetson.
Lee, we're not supposed to take this personally.
It's our objectivity which makes us effective.
Amanda is dying in my place, that's as personal as it gets.
If it were another agent, would you feel the same way? I don't know.
Is there something between you and Amanda? - Oh - Well, why was she at your apartment? She was feeding my fish.
This one isn't easy.
Give it some time.
I can't live with this one, Billy.
I can prove this so easily, here are all of my cards.
Here's my library card, here's my voter's registration card here's my driver's license, look.
Amanda King, with my name and my picture right on it and here is a poem that my younger son Jamie wrote.
[CLEARS THRO AT.]
I like my bike, I like my room I even like my brother But most of all, in all the world I really like my mother [LAUGHING.]
See, Jamie.
And, uh, oh, here, now this'll do it.
This is my check-cashing card from the Zippy Market.
Now, they're very difficult to get.
The agency covers are improving.
Who would suspect that one of America's biggest agents is a bourgeois, suburban housewife.
Quite convincing.
Would you care for a drink? We may have a bit of a wait.
Why may we have a bit of a wait? I have arranged to trade you for one of our agents, uh, Rostov.
Uh, so far, your people have not responded.
But they have ten hours.
What if they won't make the trade? Scarecrow do I have to tell you? - Yes.
Obviously, to maintain my credibility in my community I may have to terminate you.
Oh.
Stimulating as our work is it also takes one down a peg or two to realize we are all disposable.
Don't you agree? Mr.
Zinoviev, Mr.
Arcady we've, uh, got to go.
[MELOD Y PLAYING ON BELLS NEARBY.]
WOMAN [O VER SPEAKER.]
: Agent Marra to reception.
Code 79, please.
Code 79.
I guess you guys can take a break.
They wanna see him down in Recon.
- No one told us.
- Come on, Jack.
- I can go get a copy of the orders.
AGENT: Fine.
You take him.
We could use the break.
Thanks.
WOMAN: Colonel Sheppard, report to Situation Room 1.
Special Agents Lopez and Shane to Communications, please.
Hey, I thought he was going to Recon.
Why is he taking the outside elevator? WOMAN: Mr.
French, 1197.
Yeah, I got a code red, Section 6.
WOMAN: Code red, all sections.
Code red, all sections.
[ALARM BLARING.]
WOMAN: Secure all levels, please.
Secure all levels immediately.
Level 4, secure.
Level 3, secure.
Level 2, secure.
Attention: Emergency procedure 1 A.
Emergency procedure 1 A.
AMANDA: Where are you taking me? You said they have ten hours and I don't think it's been ten hours.
I must say, I almost believe your fright.
You are a remarkable combination of delightful innocence and uncompromising professionalism.
I wish we could have had more time to talk, Scarecrow.
What do you mean you wish we could have more time? What are you gonna do with me? [LAUGHING.]
What a superb, brilliant performance.
You know, I've been in your country off and on for 20 years.
You know what I like best? Hamburgers.
Burritos.
Extra beans, hold the sauce.
You're excellent at what you do.
There they are.
Do you think this is a trap? They want me back very badly.
I think they'll behave.
Where are we? DELONG: Don't say a word.
You will stay in the cart and drive slowly to your associate over there.
There will be a gun on you the whole way.
If you make one move toward Rostov, I'll kill you.
I'll do exactly what you say.
I'll miss your country, it's been very good to me.
All right, let her go.
Take care.
Ah, hello.
Hello.
Isn't this a fantastic day? Ha, ha.
I've lost my ball someplace out there, and I just can't I've looked all over for it.
It's not around any Uh, oh lf Uh [CHUCKLES.]
Uh, oh, my.
Uh, would you please excuse me? I have to leave.
[WHISPERS.]
Come on.
Come on.
They were gonna kill me.
They thought I was you.
I told them I wasn't, but they wouldn't listen to me.
- They stuffed me in a crate.
- [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
I know, I know.
I don't know how anyone could mistake me for you, you're so much taller.
LEE [WHISPERS.]
: Hey.
I'm sorry.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
- It's all over.
- I was I was scared.
I know, I know, so was I.
It's all over.
DIRK: And your man just gave Rostov to him.
Well, they trust him.
- Where is he now? - We don't know.
You don't know.
Well, now, Dirk, he just couldn't let that woman die in his place.
Couldn't he? From this moment, Lee Stetson is suspended, and you'd better find him.
Because the Pentagon is not as used to being directly disobeyed by the Scarecrow as I am.
Consequently, the chiefs of staff, the president's security advisors and the State Department will want a complete report.
So they can begin to prepare their charges against Mr.
Stetson.
Charges? What kind of charges? Oh, I thought you'd heard, William, they're calling it treason.
DOTTY: Amanda? - Yes, Mother? - Somebody's here to see you.
- Really? Who Oh, Mother, this is Miss Desmond.
She's one of my pet-sitting clients, I take care of her chimpanzee.
Really? Well, won't you sit down? I just thought it was awfully enterprising when Amanda was going to start this service taking care of people's pets and plants.
I mean, it's not exactly what I had in mind when she went to college but, I mean after all, what does one do with a degree in American Lit? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, that's an excellent point, Mrs.
West.
Before I went to Sarah Lawrence my mother and I spent many meticulous hours planning my major.
Oh.
- You and your mother are close? - Like sisters.
I have always made it a point to follow her very sound advice.
That is so refreshing to hear.
Would you like some fresh strudel? Amanda won't touch it.
I'm, uh, watching my weight.
Our cook, Moleen, always said, "A strudel is an act of love.
To not eat it is to reject a gift.
" You quote Moleen.
I could weep.
I'll go get the strudel.
[WHISPERS.]
What are you doing here? You people are never supposed to come here.
[WHISPERS.]
Yeah, Amanda, do you know where Lee is? No, of course not.
Why, Francine, is something wrong? I can't believe he didn't tell you.
Amanda, half of the agency is looking for Lee.
They're bringing him up on charges.
- Treason.
- My gosh.
- Why? - For trading Rostov for you.
He disobeyed an executive order.
You mean they weren't gonna make that trade? He did that on his own? No.
I didn't know.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Uh, I really have to be going.
Could I take a rain check on that strudel? All right.
Heh.
Be careful with that chimpanzee.
Yes.
- [WHISPERS.]
Amanda.
- Yes? Lee is in a great deal of trouble.
Nobody can help him.
Now as much as I hate to say this, you may be hearing from him before me.
Tell him to take care of himself.
Tell him that I'm still his friend.
Don't you worry.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
God, it is you.
Let's go.
Boy, when you phoned, I wondered if it wasn't some joker at the agency trying to smoke me out.
I think it's unbelievable that your own people are treating you this way.
They've got their jobs to do.
How'd you figure out where I was staying? You told me that you always work out when you're upset and I saw your bag in the apartment when I was there.
- Why are you undressing? - It's just a precaution, believe me.
- Are you sure you weren't followed? - Oh, no, I was very careful.
Lee? Why didn't you tell me the truth about that trade? - Because it wasn't important.
- Oh, it wasn't? Heh, I think it's important and the government seems to think it's pretty important.
If you've said everything that you wanna say I haven't said everything that I wanna say.
Would you listen to me for a minute? I know that you're your own man and that you like to handle things your own way, by yourself.
And I really respect that.
You're in a lot of trouble here.
And I think it's time that you admit that you need somebody else.
Amanda, what is it that you want? Heh.
You saved my life.
I want to help you.
There's nothing that you can do.
- You weren't followed, huh? - No.
Speed up a little.
Come on, step on it.
Move it! - Who are they? - Federal agents.
- Oh! - Go on through it.
Go on through it.
[HONKING.]
Turn.
- Amanda? - Yeah? About your offer to help.
Based on the amount of time you think it took you to get there AMANDA: Yeah? This must be the bridge you felt yourself going over.
Right, is that a? Is that a drawbridge? We waited an awful long time before we went over it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is a drawbridge.
Good, very good.
After the bridge, they maintained the same speed? - Uh, yeah.
- For about how long? Oh Ten minutes.
Then we stopped.
We should find the house right around in there.
What you mean find the house? Are we gonna look for the house? Amanda, the only way I can clear my name is to bust Rostov's operation.
I have to find the place where you were held.
DIRK: They lost him.
Two of the top people in your department lost him, William? He's one of our best men.
If I didn't know any better, William I'd say your department doesn't exactly have its heart in this assignment.
It just seems to me that this agency has better things to do with its time than chasing after Lee Stetson.
This entire manhunt is taking on the proportions of a vendetta.
Respectfully submitted, Francine Desmond.
Listen to me, you two.
I expect full cooperation in punishing a very serious procedural violation.
I think you can go back to your department now, Dirk.
- We'll give you all the help we can.
- I'm grateful.
Because if we were to sense a certain unwillingness in some of your people Mr.
Stetson wouldn't be the only one around here facing charges.
I don't think this is the right area.
The houses don't look big enough.
The library that I was in had to have been in a very fancy house.
The neighborhoods get a little ritzier a couple of blocks from here.
- I think it's back that way.
- We've been back that way.
Well, I can only go by my feelings.
We've been going by your feelings all day.
For all we know, we've already gone past the house.
Listen, I'm sorry, I'm trying, all right? I'm doing the best that I can.
I should be at home, helping Jamie arrange his birthday party.
He wants Pretzel the Clown there, and Pretzel the Clown has chicken pox.
Can you imagine, a man that old hasn't had chicken pox? - Amanda, would you? - Look.
I was tied up and in a crate.
I have to go by sounds and well, by the birds singing and the children playing.
[MELOD Y PLAYING ON BELLS NEARBY.]
- Bells.
- Bells? Bells.
Wait a minute.
Pull over, pull over here.
[DOG BARKING.]
- You hear that? - What? There.
Who do you think you are, busting in on us like this? We are We are decent people.
We mind our own business.
We were eating pot roast.
This is the room.
This is the same dark wood, those are the same books.
What are you talking about? What is she talking about? Rosco, throw them out.
Ma'am, please, now this lady says that she was held captive here.
The federal government takes a dim view I never saw her before in my life.
Look.
Behind those books, there is a bar.
And in this cupboard is a beautiful porcelain tea service.
Okay, okay, so they moved the tea service.
But you can't deny this.
When this book is pulled out, the bar will open up.
Watch.
- This is getting embarrassing.
- I'm sorry.
That happens to be a first edition of Huckleberry Finn.
Look, I know I'm right.
LEE: Amanda - Oh, come on.
Maybe it's this book, or this book, or this book.
- No, not Little Women.
AMANDA: Or this book.
Or this book.
Oh, no.
So, Scarecrow.
LEE: Amanda.
[AMANDA GASPS.]
- Let's get out of here.
- Rosco.
[GUN COCKS.]
Scarecrow, I am astounded that you found your way back here.
Your reputation is not exaggerated.
Oh, no.
I cannot allow you to jeopardize my plans.
Look.
She has nothing to do with this.
Tell the big fella to keep quiet.
Quiet, big fella.
Well, it is almost impossible to believe my good fortune in having you drop into my hands not just once, but twice.
Please, you've just got to believe me.
- I'm not the Scarecrow.
- Ha-ha-ha.
My dear, if I believed that, what use would you be to me? Do you think I could let you live one more second? You're right, this is your lucky day.
The question is, what to do with you? Don't you have another agent you could trade me for? - Uh, no.
- Oh.
Undoubtedly, you have information which I can use but your reputation precedes you.
I could torture you for hours and you'd remain silent.
Oh, yes.
Torturing me would be silly.
Although trying could be very interesting.
No, no, no, all things considered the best thing would be to send you back to Moscow.
Won't it be difficult, getting an important spy like me out of the country? Ah, that analytical mind of yours never rests, does it? No, no, no, you're correct.
I'm going to send you back to Moscow packed in a refrigerator.
Wait a minute.
- Pleasant trip.
- The place is surrounded.
Oh, I shall be very careful.
The place is surrounded? Tonight's work completes the shipment.
Arcady, your government would do well to remember who provided them with all this help.
I'm sure if my government had trouble remembering yours would be very happy to jog its memory.
JAMESON: Is it time yet? - Yes.
Prepare the Scarecrow for shipment.
Jameson.
This time, remember the air holes.
- Think of something, think of something.
- I am thinking.
- Just relax.
- Easy for you to say.
You're not the one they're gonna stuff in a refrigerator and ship off to Moscow.
No, I'm the one they're gonna put up against a wall and shoot! [LEE SIGHS.]
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
- Scarecrow.
BOTH: Yeah.
Hold it.
One more step and she is a dead woman.
What? Come on, you don't really think that the Scarecrow would allow herself to be taken alive, do you? The Scarecrow would rather die than talk to you, scum.
I mean, right now, clenched in her teeth right now, is a cyanide capsule.
Think of the waste, Scarecrow.
Don't do it.
She won't listen to me.
- You're bluffing.
- Do you really wanna take that chance? [SHOUTS.]
Scarecrow's getting away! Cover all the exits.
Don't let her out of here.
Arcady, you stay here.
[WHISPERS.]
All right.
Now, one of us can get through that door if the other one covers.
Okay.
I'll cover you.
You show me how to shoot.
I want you to find a phone.
You tell Billy where we are.
Tell him they're smuggling airplane parts to the Middle East.
What about you? - What about me? - Well, there are so many of them.
[GUN COCKS.]
All right, go.
- I don't have change.
- Oh, yeah.
- Sorry.
- Here.
Thank you, Lee.
LEE: All right, go on, go.
JAMESON: There he is.
[GUNFIRE.]
WOMAN [O VER PHONE.]
: 5583.
- Mr.
Melrose, please.
WOMAN: I'm sorry, he's gone for the day.
I don't have a code name, look, this is urgent.
[SIGHS.]
And I've been in Mr.
Melrose's office, it has, um, tweed sofas, and Look.
I'm working with the Scarecrow.
WOMAN: According to my information, Scarecrow is suspended.
He's gonna be dead if you don't put me through.
Start moving everything to the docks.
We're leaving immediately.
Your Scarecrow has disrupted my plans.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I want to know everything she has seen.
Does she know everything we've done? [WHISTLES.]
[LEE GRUNTS.]
Does she now? Why are you so loyal to a woman who left you behind? She'll be back.
Don't you worry.
[SIGHS.]
Take him outside and kill him.
Drop the body to the water.
[BOTH SHOUTING.]
Where is he? Find him.
AMANDA: All right, don't move.
Any of you.
ZINO VIEV: Scarecrow.
AMANDA: Yes, I'm back.
And if any of you move, you're history.
She means it.
Scarecrow is merciless.
AMANDA: Now my assistant will disarm you.
Hold very still.
Assistant.
LEE: All right, gentlemen.
Let's drop them.
AMANDA: Don't forget to frisk them.
- I won't.
Get over here.
AMANDA: Well, I guess that about wraps this one up.
Our people are on the way.
- Anything else I can do? - No.
You can leave your silver bullet and ride off.
I tip my hat to you, Scarecrow.
Until we meet again.
You should learn from her, my boy.
She's the best.
Yeah.
Hey, who's for ice cream? Listen, I cranked my hands raw making this stuff.
I mean, after all, we don't want to invalidate Grandma I don't think so.
Mm-mm.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
Sweetie, I'm sorry about Pretzel.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Would you get that, sweetheart? Come on now, we can have a great time.
Look at all these presents, we'll open the presents, we'll have It's okay, Mom.
Look who's here.
[HORN HONKING AND PRETZEL LAUGHING.]
Pretzel.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You can't start this party without me.
Could I have a word with you, please? - Ice cream.
- Okay, let's go.
[WHISPERS.]
I thought you were sick.
Nah, just a little burned out.
Boy, you have some connections.
This guy calls me up, says he's with the federal government says he has friends with the IRS and they're gonna audit me all the way back to '67 if I don't show up.
You don't mess around, do you, lady? Well, you know, l I'll tell you the truth, I've never been sick a day in my life.
- Where's the rest of the party? - Had to cancel it.
- Why's that? - Jamie's got the chicken pox.
Pretzel, Pretzel.
[SIGHS.]
PRETZEL: Hey, I once had chicken pox too.
[PRETZEL LAUGHING.]
[PRETZEL MIMICS CHICKEN.]
Go right in.
WOMAN [O VER RADIO.]
: Lee, where is he? - He's inside.
Okay, our people have the building sealed.
[LOCK CHIMES.]
- What's taking so long? - I don't know.
LEE: Some people are coming out.
- Rostov? No, not yet.
Unless he's gone undercover as a coed or a nun.
A nun.
Hello? [WOMAN SHOUTING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
MAN: It's a man.
Rostov, I've waited a long time for this.
[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
BILLY: There we are.
LEE: Thank you, sir.
It's a sad day for Moscow, but it's a happy one here.
[ALL CHEER.]
- Lee, nice work.
MAN: Well done.
What a man.
A lesser man might have balked at tackling a nun, but not you.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
- Thank you.
- Oh, anytime.
Hey, everybody, drink up.
We have just captured the leader of the most successful espionage ring in the country.
Uh, we? I like to think of us as one big team around here.
Sharing in the pain, sharing in the heartache.
- Sharing the credit.
- Lf I must.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
Here's to Francine, who really busted her pencil point on this one while I busted my - Knock it off.
[ALL GRO AN.]
- Lee, let me talk to you for a minute.
- All right.
Lee, there's a lot about this Rostov thing I just don't understand.
And I'll bet it's the kind of thing that Francine could sink her teeth into.
- Francine? - Yeah.
Haven't you noticed what a fireball she's gotten to be? - Okay, Stetson, what's up? - Nothing.
I think that Francine is a tremendous talent.
I wanna go to Bermuda for two weeks.
Two weeks? Do you realize the kind of case load that we carry here? Come on, Billy.
I need a little sand, a little sun.
I wanna meet some women.
- You wanna meet? - I am a Ionely man.
- How did it go? - Not great.
Nicholas is furious about Rostov, he says he's too valuable to the organization, insists we get him back.
- How are we supposed to do that? - Set up a trade.
Nicholas thinks the Americans would be willing to trade Rostov if we were holding one of their important agents.
Nicholas gave me a lead on somebody big.
Paid a fortune for this address.
Tomorrow we pick up Scarecrow.
I wanna invite the Cub Scout Den and the Little League Team and all my friends from school.
Sweetheart, that's an awful lot of people.
It's a birthday party, but we haven't rented a big barn for it.
PHILIP: What about Mark and Jeff? - They're fifth grade.
- So am I.
- You live here.
You gotta come.
PHILIP: Thanks a lot.
- I just wanna invite my friends.
What about Pretzel the Clown? You said I could have him at my party.
Dean said that he would try to get him as a surprise for you.
Why don't you take those sandwiches outside and have a picnic? JAMIE & PHILIP: All right.
I don't want you jumping around.
You'll make my cake fall.
DOTTY: Run on.
- Now be careful, stay in the backyard.
Speaking of Dean, I think I have pinpointed what it is about him you find most resistible.
Mother, there's nothing about him that's most resistible.
Amanda, I have known you since you were teensy.
- I know when your fires are fanned.
- Gosh.
Is it because you find him so predictable? I mean, there is a playful side to Dean that you may not know about.
I swore I wouldn't tell you this but do you know what the weather bureau is going to call the next major hurricane? Amanda! At the suggestion of Dean we are crossing our fingers that it happens on St.
Valentine's Day.
[AMANDA GRO ANS AND PHONE RINGS.]
I'll get it.
Hello? What? Uh, well No, I'm very busy.
I'm baking a cake for Jamie's birthday.
No, I don't think a fifth of rum would spice it up.
[AMANDA CLEARS THRO AT.]
What's that? Well, how ill is Melvin? No, I understand.
If you need to talk and it's urgent I can be there in, uh, just a few minutes.
Sure.
Okay.
No problem.
Yeah.
Bye-bye.
- What's the problem? - No problem.
It's one of my dog walking clients' sick St.
Bernard.
- What's the matter? - Hangover.
AMANDA: Now when you told me you had a sick friend you didn't tell me that your friend was a fish.
- Didn't I? - Mm-mm.
Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
So, uh can I count on you to take care of him while I'm away in Bermuda? Bermuda.
Yeah.
You called me because you know that I'm so sensitive and sympathetic and in touch with nature.
You're the only one I know that'll do it.
He doesn't even bother to lie anymore.
Why should he? Everybody knows you can count on good old reliable Amanda.
Amanda, feeding my fish is part and parcel of good agenting.
Really? How so? Well, it demonstrates your loyalty to your partner.
Oh.
I think if I were to go to Nairobi for a week you probably wouldn't even notice until your plants needed to be watered.
I really appreciate this.
Terrific.
Well, tell you what.
As long as I'm here I think I'll clean your apartment up a little bit.
Uh, no.
- You don't need to do that.
- It's all right, I insist.
- No, you don't have to do that.
- No, I insist.
Men, this is Amanda King.
She'll be taking care of you.
So you do everything she says, huh? Is there anything else I need to tell you? [AMANDA SIGHS.]
Yes.
Is it legal in this state to grow penicillin? LEE: Uh, heh Amanda, you're a pal, you know that? Heh.
Yeah.
I will see you in a week and believe me, I really do appreciate this.
- Yeah.
- Bye.
Oh, Lee, wanna play tennis? Ha.
- Have fun.
- Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
Need some fresh air in here.
Right, fishy? Hmm? Here, look at this.
It appears that Scarecrow may be a woman.
Wait here till I make the call.
I'll signal if it's a go.
[PHONE RINGING.]
- Hello? JAMESON [O VER PHONE.]
: Scarecrow? Yes? Um, uh, no.
I mean [LINE CLICKS.]
Hello? Hello? [SIGHS.]
His friends are ruder than he is.
Give me a break.
[CLICKING.]
Lee? BILLY: How the hell could something like this happen? It's not as bad as it looks, maybe it's a practical joke.
You know Lee? Always the class clown? - I'm not laughing.
- Will you take it easy on the jacket? Hey, gee, it's nice to be back.
- Oh, Lee, we're so glad to see you.
- Yeah? Tell Cagney and Lacey to let go, will you? BILLY: Okay, fellas.
- Thank you.
It is not often you get pulled off a Bermuda-bound 747 while it is sitting on the runway.
Usually it is the plane that gets hijacked, not the passenger.
We had to find out if you were all right.
- Feel better now? - Will you listen to this? What? ZINO VIEV [ON RECORDING.]
: We've got the Scarecrow.
You have Rostov.
We want to trade.
Please understand, if you don't make this trade within 24 hours, Scarecrow will die.
That tape arrived thirty minutes ago.
It said that this would prove they had you.
Basic diet for Siamese fighting fish.
Oh, my God.
What is this, Lee, if they don't have you who have they got? - Amanda.
- What did you say? - They've got Amanda.
[DOG BARKING.]
You are very calm, Zinoviev.
For a man who has done everything possible to ruin an entire mission.
Rostov is one of our leading operatives.
Respected and feared even by the West.
We had to get him out.
Twenty American jet fighters will rot on our runways unless we get the necessary spare parts.
You should have thought of that before you broke relations with the United States.
Never bite the hand that sells cheap.
At any rate, we can recover Rostov still smuggle the American parts that you need and everyone will live happily ever after.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Ah, the delivery I have been expecting.
Mr.
Arcady, you know, uh, Mr.
Jameson, Mr.
Delong.
[AMANDA GRO ANING.]
At last we meet.
I must say, I have been looking forward to this for a long time.
I hope your trip was not unpleasant.
Excuse me.
Ow! How dare you.
Who are you? Where am I? Look.
I have a birthday party to get together.
There is no need to carry on this charade any further.
In the name of those who admire your work, Scarecrow I salute you.
What did you say? I had no idea you were so lovely.
It's a pity I may have to kill you.
They've been through the tape, there's no leads, no nothing.
The switchboard says there wasn't time for a trace.
When they find out she's not Scarecrow it is over, just like that.
The Intelligence Oversight Committee just met on the trade.
- Dirk will be here with the decision.
- Dirk.
The guy delivers bad news, that's his job and life, Billy.
That's a cruel assessment, Mr.
Stetson.
What was the committee's decision? We are to proceed with the debriefing of Rostov.
We've decided not to accept the Russian offer.
- What? - We're not making the trade.
- Now you listen - All right.
May I ask why? The loss of Rostov will disrupt the Soviet espionage effort for months.
For this, we give up a woman of no crucial importance.
These are the committee's words, not mine.
Yeah, but you will enforce the decision.
Yes.
Reluctantly.
Mrs.
King is over-eager, that's no reason she should die.
Except that she will.
Rostov is of tremendous value to the West, gentlemen and of course, the Public Relations benefits will be substantial.
Again, I'm quoting.
If you'll excuse me, I'm late for something or other.
I'm sorry, Stetson.
Lee, we're not supposed to take this personally.
It's our objectivity which makes us effective.
Amanda is dying in my place, that's as personal as it gets.
If it were another agent, would you feel the same way? I don't know.
Is there something between you and Amanda? - Oh - Well, why was she at your apartment? She was feeding my fish.
This one isn't easy.
Give it some time.
I can't live with this one, Billy.
I can prove this so easily, here are all of my cards.
Here's my library card, here's my voter's registration card here's my driver's license, look.
Amanda King, with my name and my picture right on it and here is a poem that my younger son Jamie wrote.
[CLEARS THRO AT.]
I like my bike, I like my room I even like my brother But most of all, in all the world I really like my mother [LAUGHING.]
See, Jamie.
And, uh, oh, here, now this'll do it.
This is my check-cashing card from the Zippy Market.
Now, they're very difficult to get.
The agency covers are improving.
Who would suspect that one of America's biggest agents is a bourgeois, suburban housewife.
Quite convincing.
Would you care for a drink? We may have a bit of a wait.
Why may we have a bit of a wait? I have arranged to trade you for one of our agents, uh, Rostov.
Uh, so far, your people have not responded.
But they have ten hours.
What if they won't make the trade? Scarecrow do I have to tell you? - Yes.
Obviously, to maintain my credibility in my community I may have to terminate you.
Oh.
Stimulating as our work is it also takes one down a peg or two to realize we are all disposable.
Don't you agree? Mr.
Zinoviev, Mr.
Arcady we've, uh, got to go.
[MELOD Y PLAYING ON BELLS NEARBY.]
WOMAN [O VER SPEAKER.]
: Agent Marra to reception.
Code 79, please.
Code 79.
I guess you guys can take a break.
They wanna see him down in Recon.
- No one told us.
- Come on, Jack.
- I can go get a copy of the orders.
AGENT: Fine.
You take him.
We could use the break.
Thanks.
WOMAN: Colonel Sheppard, report to Situation Room 1.
Special Agents Lopez and Shane to Communications, please.
Hey, I thought he was going to Recon.
Why is he taking the outside elevator? WOMAN: Mr.
French, 1197.
Yeah, I got a code red, Section 6.
WOMAN: Code red, all sections.
Code red, all sections.
[ALARM BLARING.]
WOMAN: Secure all levels, please.
Secure all levels immediately.
Level 4, secure.
Level 3, secure.
Level 2, secure.
Attention: Emergency procedure 1 A.
Emergency procedure 1 A.
AMANDA: Where are you taking me? You said they have ten hours and I don't think it's been ten hours.
I must say, I almost believe your fright.
You are a remarkable combination of delightful innocence and uncompromising professionalism.
I wish we could have had more time to talk, Scarecrow.
What do you mean you wish we could have more time? What are you gonna do with me? [LAUGHING.]
What a superb, brilliant performance.
You know, I've been in your country off and on for 20 years.
You know what I like best? Hamburgers.
Burritos.
Extra beans, hold the sauce.
You're excellent at what you do.
There they are.
Do you think this is a trap? They want me back very badly.
I think they'll behave.
Where are we? DELONG: Don't say a word.
You will stay in the cart and drive slowly to your associate over there.
There will be a gun on you the whole way.
If you make one move toward Rostov, I'll kill you.
I'll do exactly what you say.
I'll miss your country, it's been very good to me.
All right, let her go.
Take care.
Ah, hello.
Hello.
Isn't this a fantastic day? Ha, ha.
I've lost my ball someplace out there, and I just can't I've looked all over for it.
It's not around any Uh, oh lf Uh [CHUCKLES.]
Uh, oh, my.
Uh, would you please excuse me? I have to leave.
[WHISPERS.]
Come on.
Come on.
They were gonna kill me.
They thought I was you.
I told them I wasn't, but they wouldn't listen to me.
- They stuffed me in a crate.
- [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
I know, I know.
I don't know how anyone could mistake me for you, you're so much taller.
LEE [WHISPERS.]
: Hey.
I'm sorry.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
- It's all over.
- I was I was scared.
I know, I know, so was I.
It's all over.
DIRK: And your man just gave Rostov to him.
Well, they trust him.
- Where is he now? - We don't know.
You don't know.
Well, now, Dirk, he just couldn't let that woman die in his place.
Couldn't he? From this moment, Lee Stetson is suspended, and you'd better find him.
Because the Pentagon is not as used to being directly disobeyed by the Scarecrow as I am.
Consequently, the chiefs of staff, the president's security advisors and the State Department will want a complete report.
So they can begin to prepare their charges against Mr.
Stetson.
Charges? What kind of charges? Oh, I thought you'd heard, William, they're calling it treason.
DOTTY: Amanda? - Yes, Mother? - Somebody's here to see you.
- Really? Who Oh, Mother, this is Miss Desmond.
She's one of my pet-sitting clients, I take care of her chimpanzee.
Really? Well, won't you sit down? I just thought it was awfully enterprising when Amanda was going to start this service taking care of people's pets and plants.
I mean, it's not exactly what I had in mind when she went to college but, I mean after all, what does one do with a degree in American Lit? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, that's an excellent point, Mrs.
West.
Before I went to Sarah Lawrence my mother and I spent many meticulous hours planning my major.
Oh.
- You and your mother are close? - Like sisters.
I have always made it a point to follow her very sound advice.
That is so refreshing to hear.
Would you like some fresh strudel? Amanda won't touch it.
I'm, uh, watching my weight.
Our cook, Moleen, always said, "A strudel is an act of love.
To not eat it is to reject a gift.
" You quote Moleen.
I could weep.
I'll go get the strudel.
[WHISPERS.]
What are you doing here? You people are never supposed to come here.
[WHISPERS.]
Yeah, Amanda, do you know where Lee is? No, of course not.
Why, Francine, is something wrong? I can't believe he didn't tell you.
Amanda, half of the agency is looking for Lee.
They're bringing him up on charges.
- Treason.
- My gosh.
- Why? - For trading Rostov for you.
He disobeyed an executive order.
You mean they weren't gonna make that trade? He did that on his own? No.
I didn't know.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Uh, I really have to be going.
Could I take a rain check on that strudel? All right.
Heh.
Be careful with that chimpanzee.
Yes.
- [WHISPERS.]
Amanda.
- Yes? Lee is in a great deal of trouble.
Nobody can help him.
Now as much as I hate to say this, you may be hearing from him before me.
Tell him to take care of himself.
Tell him that I'm still his friend.
Don't you worry.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
God, it is you.
Let's go.
Boy, when you phoned, I wondered if it wasn't some joker at the agency trying to smoke me out.
I think it's unbelievable that your own people are treating you this way.
They've got their jobs to do.
How'd you figure out where I was staying? You told me that you always work out when you're upset and I saw your bag in the apartment when I was there.
- Why are you undressing? - It's just a precaution, believe me.
- Are you sure you weren't followed? - Oh, no, I was very careful.
Lee? Why didn't you tell me the truth about that trade? - Because it wasn't important.
- Oh, it wasn't? Heh, I think it's important and the government seems to think it's pretty important.
If you've said everything that you wanna say I haven't said everything that I wanna say.
Would you listen to me for a minute? I know that you're your own man and that you like to handle things your own way, by yourself.
And I really respect that.
You're in a lot of trouble here.
And I think it's time that you admit that you need somebody else.
Amanda, what is it that you want? Heh.
You saved my life.
I want to help you.
There's nothing that you can do.
- You weren't followed, huh? - No.
Speed up a little.
Come on, step on it.
Move it! - Who are they? - Federal agents.
- Oh! - Go on through it.
Go on through it.
[HONKING.]
Turn.
- Amanda? - Yeah? About your offer to help.
Based on the amount of time you think it took you to get there AMANDA: Yeah? This must be the bridge you felt yourself going over.
Right, is that a? Is that a drawbridge? We waited an awful long time before we went over it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is a drawbridge.
Good, very good.
After the bridge, they maintained the same speed? - Uh, yeah.
- For about how long? Oh Ten minutes.
Then we stopped.
We should find the house right around in there.
What you mean find the house? Are we gonna look for the house? Amanda, the only way I can clear my name is to bust Rostov's operation.
I have to find the place where you were held.
DIRK: They lost him.
Two of the top people in your department lost him, William? He's one of our best men.
If I didn't know any better, William I'd say your department doesn't exactly have its heart in this assignment.
It just seems to me that this agency has better things to do with its time than chasing after Lee Stetson.
This entire manhunt is taking on the proportions of a vendetta.
Respectfully submitted, Francine Desmond.
Listen to me, you two.
I expect full cooperation in punishing a very serious procedural violation.
I think you can go back to your department now, Dirk.
- We'll give you all the help we can.
- I'm grateful.
Because if we were to sense a certain unwillingness in some of your people Mr.
Stetson wouldn't be the only one around here facing charges.
I don't think this is the right area.
The houses don't look big enough.
The library that I was in had to have been in a very fancy house.
The neighborhoods get a little ritzier a couple of blocks from here.
- I think it's back that way.
- We've been back that way.
Well, I can only go by my feelings.
We've been going by your feelings all day.
For all we know, we've already gone past the house.
Listen, I'm sorry, I'm trying, all right? I'm doing the best that I can.
I should be at home, helping Jamie arrange his birthday party.
He wants Pretzel the Clown there, and Pretzel the Clown has chicken pox.
Can you imagine, a man that old hasn't had chicken pox? - Amanda, would you? - Look.
I was tied up and in a crate.
I have to go by sounds and well, by the birds singing and the children playing.
[MELOD Y PLAYING ON BELLS NEARBY.]
- Bells.
- Bells? Bells.
Wait a minute.
Pull over, pull over here.
[DOG BARKING.]
- You hear that? - What? There.
Who do you think you are, busting in on us like this? We are We are decent people.
We mind our own business.
We were eating pot roast.
This is the room.
This is the same dark wood, those are the same books.
What are you talking about? What is she talking about? Rosco, throw them out.
Ma'am, please, now this lady says that she was held captive here.
The federal government takes a dim view I never saw her before in my life.
Look.
Behind those books, there is a bar.
And in this cupboard is a beautiful porcelain tea service.
Okay, okay, so they moved the tea service.
But you can't deny this.
When this book is pulled out, the bar will open up.
Watch.
- This is getting embarrassing.
- I'm sorry.
That happens to be a first edition of Huckleberry Finn.
Look, I know I'm right.
LEE: Amanda - Oh, come on.
Maybe it's this book, or this book, or this book.
- No, not Little Women.
AMANDA: Or this book.
Or this book.
Oh, no.
So, Scarecrow.
LEE: Amanda.
[AMANDA GASPS.]
- Let's get out of here.
- Rosco.
[GUN COCKS.]
Scarecrow, I am astounded that you found your way back here.
Your reputation is not exaggerated.
Oh, no.
I cannot allow you to jeopardize my plans.
Look.
She has nothing to do with this.
Tell the big fella to keep quiet.
Quiet, big fella.
Well, it is almost impossible to believe my good fortune in having you drop into my hands not just once, but twice.
Please, you've just got to believe me.
- I'm not the Scarecrow.
- Ha-ha-ha.
My dear, if I believed that, what use would you be to me? Do you think I could let you live one more second? You're right, this is your lucky day.
The question is, what to do with you? Don't you have another agent you could trade me for? - Uh, no.
- Oh.
Undoubtedly, you have information which I can use but your reputation precedes you.
I could torture you for hours and you'd remain silent.
Oh, yes.
Torturing me would be silly.
Although trying could be very interesting.
No, no, no, all things considered the best thing would be to send you back to Moscow.
Won't it be difficult, getting an important spy like me out of the country? Ah, that analytical mind of yours never rests, does it? No, no, no, you're correct.
I'm going to send you back to Moscow packed in a refrigerator.
Wait a minute.
- Pleasant trip.
- The place is surrounded.
Oh, I shall be very careful.
The place is surrounded? Tonight's work completes the shipment.
Arcady, your government would do well to remember who provided them with all this help.
I'm sure if my government had trouble remembering yours would be very happy to jog its memory.
JAMESON: Is it time yet? - Yes.
Prepare the Scarecrow for shipment.
Jameson.
This time, remember the air holes.
- Think of something, think of something.
- I am thinking.
- Just relax.
- Easy for you to say.
You're not the one they're gonna stuff in a refrigerator and ship off to Moscow.
No, I'm the one they're gonna put up against a wall and shoot! [LEE SIGHS.]
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
- Scarecrow.
BOTH: Yeah.
Hold it.
One more step and she is a dead woman.
What? Come on, you don't really think that the Scarecrow would allow herself to be taken alive, do you? The Scarecrow would rather die than talk to you, scum.
I mean, right now, clenched in her teeth right now, is a cyanide capsule.
Think of the waste, Scarecrow.
Don't do it.
She won't listen to me.
- You're bluffing.
- Do you really wanna take that chance? [SHOUTS.]
Scarecrow's getting away! Cover all the exits.
Don't let her out of here.
Arcady, you stay here.
[WHISPERS.]
All right.
Now, one of us can get through that door if the other one covers.
Okay.
I'll cover you.
You show me how to shoot.
I want you to find a phone.
You tell Billy where we are.
Tell him they're smuggling airplane parts to the Middle East.
What about you? - What about me? - Well, there are so many of them.
[GUN COCKS.]
All right, go.
- I don't have change.
- Oh, yeah.
- Sorry.
- Here.
Thank you, Lee.
LEE: All right, go on, go.
JAMESON: There he is.
[GUNFIRE.]
WOMAN [O VER PHONE.]
: 5583.
- Mr.
Melrose, please.
WOMAN: I'm sorry, he's gone for the day.
I don't have a code name, look, this is urgent.
[SIGHS.]
And I've been in Mr.
Melrose's office, it has, um, tweed sofas, and Look.
I'm working with the Scarecrow.
WOMAN: According to my information, Scarecrow is suspended.
He's gonna be dead if you don't put me through.
Start moving everything to the docks.
We're leaving immediately.
Your Scarecrow has disrupted my plans.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I want to know everything she has seen.
Does she know everything we've done? [WHISTLES.]
[LEE GRUNTS.]
Does she now? Why are you so loyal to a woman who left you behind? She'll be back.
Don't you worry.
[SIGHS.]
Take him outside and kill him.
Drop the body to the water.
[BOTH SHOUTING.]
Where is he? Find him.
AMANDA: All right, don't move.
Any of you.
ZINO VIEV: Scarecrow.
AMANDA: Yes, I'm back.
And if any of you move, you're history.
She means it.
Scarecrow is merciless.
AMANDA: Now my assistant will disarm you.
Hold very still.
Assistant.
LEE: All right, gentlemen.
Let's drop them.
AMANDA: Don't forget to frisk them.
- I won't.
Get over here.
AMANDA: Well, I guess that about wraps this one up.
Our people are on the way.
- Anything else I can do? - No.
You can leave your silver bullet and ride off.
I tip my hat to you, Scarecrow.
Until we meet again.
You should learn from her, my boy.
She's the best.
Yeah.
Hey, who's for ice cream? Listen, I cranked my hands raw making this stuff.
I mean, after all, we don't want to invalidate Grandma I don't think so.
Mm-mm.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
Sweetie, I'm sorry about Pretzel.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Would you get that, sweetheart? Come on now, we can have a great time.
Look at all these presents, we'll open the presents, we'll have It's okay, Mom.
Look who's here.
[HORN HONKING AND PRETZEL LAUGHING.]
Pretzel.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You can't start this party without me.
Could I have a word with you, please? - Ice cream.
- Okay, let's go.
[WHISPERS.]
I thought you were sick.
Nah, just a little burned out.
Boy, you have some connections.
This guy calls me up, says he's with the federal government says he has friends with the IRS and they're gonna audit me all the way back to '67 if I don't show up.
You don't mess around, do you, lady? Well, you know, l I'll tell you the truth, I've never been sick a day in my life.
- Where's the rest of the party? - Had to cancel it.
- Why's that? - Jamie's got the chicken pox.
Pretzel, Pretzel.
[SIGHS.]
PRETZEL: Hey, I once had chicken pox too.
[PRETZEL LAUGHING.]
[PRETZEL MIMICS CHICKEN.]