Shelved (2023) s01e08 Episode Script

1
And if elected mayor, the first thing
you've committed to doing
is "cutting the fat "
- (PATTON CHUCKLING)
- " the useless kind,
not the tasty kind."
I'm going to slash funds,
privatize and close institutions
that are a waste of money,
starting with the libraries.
- Well, some would argue that
- Look, sweetie.
Let me give you a Patt-truth.
I went to a library recently,
and the branch manager
cracked a sex whip at me.
A sex whip!
Why are we wasting good money
on moldy buildings
filled with old books?
- Am I right?
- (BRYCE LAUGHING)
- Is he serious?
- Oh, he's controversial.
- This is good stuff.
- Controversial?
Butter on a pop tart is controversial.
- This man sounds insane.
- Oh, relax.
He's not actually
going to cut libraries,
but his idea to cut
gas taxes? Mm. Inspired.
Such disrespect. Okay. No.
Libraries, they're
they're a stalwart of society,
the the backbone of civilization.
They are a place for
brave truth-seekers.
Everybody love
libraries. And librarians.
- Exactly. They need us.
- Yes.
Hey, when are y'all going
to get self-check-in here
so we don't have to wait for
you to finish your Snap-Tok?
(PATTON SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON SCREEN)
♪
BRYCE: His rant on revising the sex
ed curriculum in school is solid.
- Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Solid insanity!
- Smart.
Patton Jefferson wants to
eliminate your place of work,
Bryce! I don't want to lose my job here!
I'd rather any of the other
seven left-leaning candidates
- become mayor.
- (BRYCE SCOFFING)
They couldn't form one solid platform!
Okay! That's what your go-to is?
(ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE)
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop!
You both know that you're
not supposed to sway
the people in line! (SIGHING)
Now, represent the
library and hand these out.
Wendy, did you spend all night baking?
WENDY: Girl, I don't
have time to be baking.
I was busy printing
inspirational book quotes
to put on these water bottles.
Hand those out, too.
Just a friendly reminder, everyone,
that Jameson Library will
be closed for four weeks
for some long-overdue renovations!
Way to go, Jameson.
(GASPING) Wendy! You're voting!
- Never have, never will.
- Oh.
Just here for the refreshments.
Here you go. Two patties and
And two sorrel drinks.
Thank you for cutting
our study session short
so you could help out today. I
had no idea we'd be this busy.
Hey, it's my pleasure.
Uh, fortiores unita.
It means "we are stronger together."
You're such a nerd, Howard.
And hey, to thank you,
let me treat you to a fancy
coffee at a real coffee place.
"Real coffee place"?
You're twice as bad as One-Rude.
You're Too-Rude.
- Oh, thanks for filling in, eh?
- Ah, it's all right.
I love helping Sheila
uh, uh, Deena
the café.
Mm-hmm. You're very helpful, huh?
Helping my daughter study,
helping her work here,
helping her at the Settlement Desk.
Don't engage, Howard.
That way lies madness.
Oh.
WOMAN ON PHONE: Wendy, I hate
to be the bearer of bad news, but
Oh. No, Loretta. Please don't say it.
WOMAN ON PHONE: The renovations
that were just approved
are contingent on the election outcome.
Oh, wait. So they're still on?
LORETTA: Well, for now. It all depends.
If Patton Jefferson wins,
then we can't release the funds,
and we have to hold
on to them until we get
the next budget and we know
where he's going to spend it.
And I just I just wanted
to mentally and emotionally
prepare you for this.
Loretta, the lobby is filled
with voting Parkdale-ians.
The last few weeks, we've
offered info sessions
on key issues, on how to
register, on how to vote.
I have faith that the
right person will win.
I knew you'd say that, Wendy.
And I really, really
hope that you're right.
No. No. No. No. Wendy,
please do not stress-eat
your weird pastries in front of me.
(CROWD CHATTERING)
"How I Became a YA Author"?
- Lurk much, Alvin?
- (ALVIN LAUGHING)
- Jacqueline, you're a writer!
- No! Stop. Shut up. Goodbye.
Do you want my help? That's what I do.
I help people become better
versions of themselves.
Gross. Why do you care all of a sudden?
Because I am on a helping high.
I helped Tenzin K with
his grant proposal,
I helped Tenzin D with
his work-from-home budget,
and I helped Tenzin G
with their business plan,
because I am that good.
I'm on fire right now.
(WHISPERING) Okay. Can you
be on fire somewhere else?
Okay. Look. Look. I can give
you a professional consultation.
- (JAQ SCOFFING)
- I have helped so many clients
apply for Indigenous artists' grants.
I can make a call, some proposals.
I I don't know. Just ask me.
I don't have the time to
explain to you the irony
of helping a writer
write a grant for writing.
I have a handle on my career. Thank you.
ALVIN: Okay. (CHUCKLING)
- So, you have the tickets?
- MAN ON PHONE: You asked me
to put aside two. I put aside two.
- HOWARD: Mm!
- So, um, you going to ask her?
Hope it works out.
We've just been vibe-ing all week.
I mean, she's so smart and funny and
Wait. Hold on. Why would you say that?
I mean, you know, Isla?
- (HOWARD SIGHING)
- So, if things blow up again,
there's no going lower
than Jameson Library.
But I got your back, bro.
Come work here! We got
great pay, benefits.
And baked goods alert: the
morning muffins are to die for.
All right. All right. Thanks,
Dane. Thank you very much.
But you know what? I happened to have
a very good feeling about this.
DANE: Oh, jeez. You
chose to say that, huh?
May the force be with you!
- Sheila.
- Mm-hmm?
Did you know that the Kore
is widely considered to be
one of the most significant sculptures
from the Acropolis in Athens?
No, I didn't, but now, I can
answer that witch's riddle.
- (BOTH CHUCKLING)
- Why are you telling me?
There happens to be an
exhibit at the museum.
Would you like to come with me?
Oh. Um
Like like a date?
Well, yes. (CHUCKLING)
If that's okay.
Um
Howard, I'm really flattered,
but I'm not really in the
dating space, uh, right now.
Uh, totally. Yeah.
No. Um, yeah. For sure.
And I'm just going to get
back to work, you know?
- It's all good. Later, skater.
- Oh, that's
- for the Settlement
- Oh, that's not mine.
- BRYCE: It'll help. It'll help.
- JAQ: They're announcing it.
They're announcing it!
They're announcing it! Okay.
REPORTER: Toronto,
votes have been counted,
and you have elected your new mayor
Patton Jefferson!
- BRYCE: Yeah!
- JAQ: No!
- Are you serious?
- What?
JAQ: No, no, no. Look at the numbers.
He only won with 30 percent of the vote?
Ugh, Patton Jefferson's the worst!
Hard disagree.
Our renovations.
Wendy, you okay?
- I'm fine.
- You sure?
It's fine. Everything's
everything's fine.
- I'm fine. It's good.
- PATTON: (ON SCREEN) Thirty percent of the vote
is 100 percent of the vote.
(DOOR SLAMMING)
WENDY: Mother [BLEEP]!
Ooh.
Language.
Hey.
(RUMBLING)
HOWARD: Forrest, uh, did
I just hear your stomach?
Yeah. My dad's working a double shift
at the restaurant today,
so I have to stay here
- a little longer.
- Well, here. Uh
Why don't you take my
afternoon snack while you wait?
How's the book?
Good. I should be meeting the lion soon.
Oh, that is a terrific chapter.
You're so lucky to be reading
this for the first time
right now. Ah, wow.
Uh, Deena. What are you, uh, doing here?
I know you like my daughter.
Sheila? Well, sure.
I mean, don't we all?
I mean, I just you know
You're all right. Helpful.
Even though you talk like a scientist.
But you should know,
Sheila is getting back
together with her ex-husband.
- With Adonis?
- Mm.
(SIGHING)
That's what she meant. Okay.
Well, I mean, that's
obviously great for Sheila,
you know, who's free
to make her own choices
however she so chooses,
in a choicely manner.
Okay. Yes. I'm starting to
hear that scientist thing.
(CHUCKLING) Good to see
you. All right, Howie.
Ah.
And I thought we were
vibe-ing. I don't know.
I guess she was on an
entirely different page,
and that page was "I guess I'll
get back together with my ex
and not tell Howard" page.
DANE: Mm. Well, I saw Adonis's photo,
and you sure his name isn't Hadrian?
Because dude is built like a wall.
- So, what are you going to do?
- I don't know.
I keep thinking, "What am I doing here?"
We're on the brink
of losing our funding,
and where is my career going exactly?
Plus I made a fool of myself
in front of the woman
that I most respect.
DANE: I warned you. This
is Isla all over again.
- You're just repeating
- You know what? I'll take it.
The archival job you offered
me, is it still available?
Hells yeah! Oh, you are going
to love working here, dude.
No chance of awkward crushes.
Everyone here is an uggo.
Okay. Weird sell, but yeah, you sold me.
- When can I start?
- You can start next week.
Thanks. I really appreciate this.
(SNAPPING)
(PHONE CHIMING)
♪
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- BRYCE, JAQ: Wendy! Wendy!
- BRYCE: No. No. No. No.
- (TALKING OVER EACH OTHER)
Can you tell Jaq to
stop following me around
shouting, "Overthrow the Patt-riots"?
It's scaring the Patt-ri the patrons.
Yeah. Okay. Wendy,
can you write Bryce up
for being an absolute idiot?
And can you and I have a moment to talk?
I have an announcement.
No.
- BRYCE: Sorry. What? What?
- JAQ: Huh?
HOWARD, BRYCE: No?
No, because I have an
announcement to make.
I am heading to home office
to get Jameson the funding it needs.
Bryce, you're in charge.
Don't annoy Jaq too much.
Jaq, stop yelling things at Bryce.
Howard, our talk will have to wait.
I will be back with the money
this library sorely needs!
What the fish was that?
That was the return of Fierce Wendy.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
Hey, Big Library,
what's your announcement?
Um
Patty and a cocoa
bread and a ginger beer.
- Ah.
- This is what you order
when you're stressed.
Are you stressed, Bryce?
Yeah. Well, between you and me,
I may have voted for somebody
who might lay me off.
Only cool thing about today
is Howard announcing he's
leaving for a new job.
What did you say about Howard?
Yeah. Yeah. Big Library
is finally taking
his annoying pomposity to the museum.
Thanks for the patty, Deena.
Wow. Howard didn't
tell me he was leaving.
I mean, I'm happy for him.
Museum's a perfect fit for him.
Well, I didn't think he'd leave after
Well, that's good. Big
things for Mr. Howie.
I got to go clean these tables. Excuse.
Old lady, what did you do?
Nothing.
I may have told Howard
that you and Adonis are
getting back together.
- What? Mom!
- It was a test.
I was testing him.
See what he's made of.
I do that to all the boys you like.
Mom, Howard and I are
just friends, okay?
He helps me study.
Study? Ha! Pfft.
You're studying something,
but it's not books.
Flirty-flirty.
Jaq, what's up?
- Howard just quit.
- Oh. He did.
Yeah, and that kind of
sucks, because he was really
starting to grow on me,
but it got me thinking
- about my own future.
- And you're here to talk
about new career options. I knew it.
(JAQ GROANING)
I have a degree in
journalism, and I was accepted
into the best law schools in
the country, but I didn't go,
because what I really
want to do is write
- and and be a fiction author.
- Oh.
But I can't afford to not
work so I can write, so
Okay. You can apply for
these writing grants.
That way, you can get the
funding to apply for your books,
short stories, TikTok essays.
- These are the grants?
- No, no.
Those are just the instructions
to fill out the grants.
No. No. No. No.
And if you mention this
to anyone, I will end you.
MEN: (CHANTING) Patton!
Patton! Patton! Patton! Patton!
Patton! Patton! Patton! Patton!
(MEN LAUGHING, JEERING)
Patton Jefferson!
- Patton Jefferson!
- Yes.
First of all,
congratulations on your win.
It is not ideal, but that
is our fair election process.
And secondly, you're wrong
about library funding.
- As a branch head
- PATTON: Oh!
You're the sex whip lady
from Jameson Library!
(MEN HOOTING)
You have no idea how hard
my staff at Jameson works.
A ridiculous amount of our
budget goes to duct tape
because we're constantly
taping up books and DVD covers
and shelves and even ceiling tiles!
We are there for the
people that need us,
and you need to do right by them.
Sorry. Couldn't hear you.
It's a little loud here.
Yeah!
Patton Jefferson, you
have zero understanding
of how public services work!
You are nothing but a basic bully!
Oh.
Look. I get it.
It's hard to let go of
antiquated institutions,
but this is the future of Toronto.
Also, I never really understood
the whole sexy librarian thing.
Sure don't see it here.
(MEN LAUGHING)
Maybe it would help if you smiled more.
Ah!
(MEN GASPING)
MEN: Ooh.
PATTON: You will face
Patt-unishment for that.
- You got that, right?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
(GRUNTING REPEATEDLY)
- Ugh.
- JAQ: I don't know.
It's not that bad. I probably would have
- punched him in the face.
- Right. Yeah.
Jefferson clearly goaded you.
I don't know what got into me.
With that outburst, I
will definitely be fired.
It's best that I have my things ready
when they tell me I need to leave.
Oh, Bryce,
take care of Jameson,
as you're next in line for manager.
Oh. Wendy, Wendy,
the the book-throwing
was uncharacteristic for you,
but I respect it. You hired
me straight out of the pen,
and I will always be grateful for that.
And I am willing to step
up if and when needed.
JAQ: It's not needed.
Well, she asked me, okay?
Jameson and Toronto and I
are going through changes.
It was bound to happen.
Speaking of changes, I got
your resignation letter.
Are you sure you want to move on?
Yeah. I got to think about my future.
Okay. And so, we must all succumb
to the changing of the tides.
- Yeah.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Wendy.
- Loretta, I know
why you're here.
I saw your bonkers meltdown online.
- I know. I'm fired.
- No. I'm here because
Well, have you seen
who's in your library?
- What?
- Mm. Come have a look.
CROWD: (CHANTING) Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
- BRYCE: What is this?
- UNHOUSED WENDY: Wendy!
Wendy! That was a terrible throw,
but I am so proud of you!
(PEOPLE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
LORETTA: Wendy, when
that video went viral,
you tapped into a vein of
people who feel the way you do.
There are hundreds of posts.
Yeah. Read this. "One
day, it was pouring rain.
I had a fight with my boyfriend,
and I ran into Jameson.
The branch head gave me a
free umbrella and picked out
a book for me that I couldn't put down.
It helped me break up with my boyfriend.
I never asked her name,
but this book-throwing,
- passionate woman is her."
- Oh.
Oh. (LAUGHING) I thought
I was getting fired.
Oh, Steve did send me here to fire you.
- Oh.
- But then all of those people
started sharing those stories.
There's no way home
office is going to fire
the beloved librarian who
stood up for her library.
(CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Also, I'm not dealing with
angry DMs. So, no thank you.
(LAUGHING)
Thank you so much, Jameson.
(CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
Wendy, can I have a
chat with you for a sec?
WENDY: Yeah, of course.
Come on. Quick. Quick.
I just have some good
news about the renovation.
- Oh.
- Jameson will be getting them.
The higher-ups are working
really hard trying to approve
all of the renovations
before Jefferson's in office
cutting funding, but we need
to stick together right now
while there's a bigger
threat to worry about.
Oh, Loretta. I have
waited so long for this.
Ooh. Well, there's there's
strings. But One string.
Okay. I'm listening.
(SIGHING)
FORREST: Mr. Howard, Mr. Howard.
From my dad. It's cookies
from his restaurant.
- He says thanks.
- Thanks so much, Forrest.
Oh, and I met the lion. You were right.
It's such a cool
chapter. Bye, Mr. Howard!
Bye, Forrest.
(SIGHING) Beautiful mess.
(SIGHING)
Damn it.
(CHIMING)
DANE: Howard, look
what I got made for you.
HOWARD: Oh, wow.
Uh, listen, Dane. Um, look, man.
I've reconsidered. I
can't leave the library.
This place is odd, but
there's something here.
- Is it Sheila?
- Uh, no.
Actually, it's not about
her, believe it or not.
I just feel like I need to be here.
I'm making a difference, you know?
No, I don't know.
I have been asking you to come
here to work with me for a year,
and you finally said yes,
so I fired the kid I hired,
who happens to be the son
of the program director.
- What. He was what?
- Oh, God.
This year's holiday party
is going to be so awkward.
How could you do this to me, Howard?
Believe me, I had no intention
of having things turn out this way.
Oh, I hope you're happy,
because not only did
you lose a dope job.
You lost a dope friend.
And access to this museum!
Consider yourself banned! Indefinitely!
Dane, come on. You can't bend metal.
Yes, I can. I have
special museum powers.
HOWARD: I got to go.
(BEEPING)
(SIGHING)
Wendy.
I shall see m'lovelies
in four weeks. (LAUGHING)
- Enjoy your time off.
- Well-deserved, Wendy Armuth.
I'll be dynamiting invasive
species up in Cochrane for my break.
That's great, Bryce.
(LAUGHING)
Oh. Oh, jeez. (LAUGHING)
JAQ: What are you going to do up there?
Contemplate being branch
manager for a whole two seconds?
- JAQ, WENDY: Oh.
- Hey, Wendy, make sure
you take of yourself, too, okay?
You're a local hero now,
blowing up the socials!
Mm! (SNAPPING)
Ah, tut-tut-tut. I consent to a hug.
I'm happy you decided to stay.
Me, too. See you in a few weeks.
Well, get out of here.
(OTHERS MURMURING, LAUGHING)
BRYCE: I really look
forward to being your boss.
- HOWARD: My bag.
- BRYCE: There's definitely
a few things I can teach you.
JAQ: Yeah? Like what?
(CONTINUING INDISTINCTLY)
Hey, Howard.
- Sheila.
- I'm glad I caught you.
What my mom said to you the other day
she was just pulling your leg.
I'm sorry. Pulling my
Oh, my God. You're not actually
(SNAPPING, LAUGHING) I
got to hand it to her.
She really had me going. She's
really good. Evil, but good.
- I told you not to engage.
- Huh.
And hey, I heard you're
leaving for a new job. Congrats.
Oh, actually, no. That's
not happening anymore.
I'm staying right here.
Turns out, I've kind of
gotten used to this old place.
And the people.
Oh, good. I mean, you have no idea
how many witches'
riddles I need to solve.
Well, then, you know,
I guess I'll see you
- at our next study session.
- Oh, actually,
I can finish studying on my
own. Yeah. We always end up,
you know, sharing jokes
and talking about life
and getting off track,
and you, kind sir,
are a distraction.
Oh. Oh.
So, I will see you in four
weeks when the library re-opens.
(HOWARD CHUCKLING)
I'm a distraction.
(CHUCKLING) All right.
Hey, Wendy, why didn't you
tell your staff your news?
One string.
Okay. I'm listening.
Jameson will only get the renovations
if you come work at home office.
You're the new face of
underfunded libraries,
and we need you before Jefferson
gets his hands on our budgets
and starts slashing
funding, or worse, branches.
What do you say?
- Did you get a shirt?
- Smile.
- I want one.
- Why didn't I make the t-shirt?
- Everybody has one.
- Why you didn't make hers?
Jameson finally got a win today.
Let's let them have it.
- (BUZZING, SHATTERING)
- (WENDY GASPING)
LORETTA: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Damn it! (GASPING)
- Language.
- Oh.
MAN: You happy now?