Sister Boniface Mysteries (2022) s01e08 Episode Script
Queen of the Kitchen
1
[light melodic music.]
And we just run around the inside of the bowl there.
[TV Announcer.]
Prunella Gladwell, the nation's most glamorous housewife has become an inspiration to women across the country with her no nonsense approach to cooking.
Lovely, but what I want you to do, Azad is to start putting two teaspoons, two teaspoons.
Azad gets very nervous sometimes, as do I in front of all of you.
And that's the way and we're going to be making -some nice cocoa macaroons -[whisk beating.]
and you give this a very good beating.
You can see why it's called a good beating.
[TV Announcer.]
And now after years of teaching our ladies how to make the perfect sponge, England's Queen of the Kitchen is touring the country, judging cookery competitions for the WI as part of her brand new television programme.
So keep your eyes peeled, ladies, as well as your potatoes, because Prunella could be coming to your town next.
- [cheerful melodic music.]
- [whisk beating.]
[melodic orchestral music.]
Ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah [car rumbling quietly.]
[car door clicking open.]
[car door thudding.]
- [melodic orchestral music.]
- [camera clicking.]
- [car door thudding.]
- Sorry to interrupt, - would you mind? - [camera clicking.]
Oh.
To Cynthia.
Of course.
[camera clicking.]
Thank you.
[melodic orchestral music.]
[camera clicking.]
Now remember, smiles, grace, decorum.
[Hilary sighing.]
Oh, thank you for joining us, Sister, you're a godsend, quite literally.
Honestly, half these women don't know their creme brulee from their petits fours.
We can hear you.
Happy to lend my culinary skills.
Cooking is just chemistry, after all.
Your attempt at rock cakes was more like geology.
Poor Sister Clemon needed a new set of dentures.
Yes, well, on that occasion, I must admit I did indulge in some experimentation.
This time, however, I will be following the recipe to the letter.
Here they come.
No slouching, big smiles.
We supposed to curtsey as well? You're ruining the moment.
Our fairest queen, the nation's treasure and my lady wife, Prunella Gladwell.
[all applauding.]
Good afternoon, ladies.
I thought she'd be taller.
I'm Hilary, president of the Great Slaughter WI.
Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.
Hilary Fenshaw? I wondered if you'd recognise me.
Good Lord.
Hello, James.
Your letter said Hilary Rhodes.
Married name.
Where is the lucky gent? Yet another business trip, perils of being married to a CEO.
Well, you've certainly come a long way.
I've always imagined you married to an accountant in Slough.
I thought we could catch up after the recording, take a stroll down Memory Lane? Sadly, I'll be shooting off to another engagement, but it's been nice to see you again, Hilary.
[light orchestral music.]
No chance of anyone passing off a shop bought cake as their own in front of the camera, is there, Gladys? Oh, here we go.
Now is not the time to bring up last year's Bakewell tart debacle.
I am a god-fearing woman, I am not a cheater.
Ssh, ladies.
Three, two.
Welcome to the beautiful grounds of St.
Vincent's Convent, Great Slaughter and the seat of another nail biting competition.
This week, the ladies have chosen to make one of my devilish desserts, but who will have what it takes to whip up a concoction to my exacting standards? Ladies, introduce yourselves.
Hilary Rhodes, caramelised peaches and cream cake.
Vera Clam, lemon macaroons.
Gladys Tibbs, berries galore blackcurrant gateau.
Sister Boniface, almond and honey sponge.
Cynthia Piper, chocolate truffle layer cake.
Dorothy Thimble, um [Cynthia.]
Buttercream banana cake.
Cream cheese carrot cake.
As always, there's only 60 minutes on the clock.
After all, if you spend all day making a single dessert, when will you find time to clean the house or do the laundry? I always like the house spick and span and all my shirts starched and ironed.
Luckily we have help, otherwise you'd be stuffed.
At your service, madam.
And for the winner, a cash prize of 50 pounds.
Azad, start the clock.
[melodic orchestral music.]
These aren't carrots.
I'm making a banana cake.
Oh! Are you nervous, dear? Don't worry, there'll only be about 10 million people watching.
- [footsteps running.]
- [metal clanking.]
You clod, Azad! Sorry, madam, I-I didn't see the- Honestly, you can't get the help these days.
- [packet thudding quietly.]
- [melodic orchestral music.]
Beat it like you mean it, Sister.
- [whisk scraping.]
- [batter sloshing.]
[measuring spoons clanking.]
[Cynthia sobbing.]
[bowl clattering.]
[bowl thudding quietly.]
[whisk beating.]
[tray clattering.]
[tray thudding.]
- [clock ticking.]
- [melodic orchestral music.]
[gong chiming.]
[Gladys sighing.]
[cheerful melodic music.]
Was there an earthquake? I-I get so clumsy when I'm nervous.
The ones I make at home always turn out lovely.
[laughs.]
Well, let's just pray that it tastes better than it looks.
[cheerful melodic music.]
See you've had a little problem with your ganache there.
Um.
[snapping fingers.]
Thank you.
Hm.
Yeah.
[cheerful melodic music.]
[Prunella snapping fingers.]
I think this belongs to you.
[cheerful melodic music.]
Now, what do we have here? [Director.]
Cut, problem.
Take 15 minutes, everyone.
Leave the tent, until we call you back.
Miss Gladwell, Ruth Penny, "Albion Bugle.
" I was hoping you could spare a few moments for an interview? Didn't you get the press release? I'd like to do something a little more in depth, a profile piece, really explore the issues.
Issues? You're one of those.
One of what? A feminist.
And what if I am? Do you really want to go head to head with me? Oh, I'm game, if you are.
I'll see if I can fit you into my schedule.
I'd be so grateful.
[birds chirping.]
Obviously I'll be cutting out your remark about Azad.
What remark? Demeaning him on national television.
What's gotten into you? I'll decide how I talk to the help.
[light orchestral music.]
You said you were going to follow the recipe to the letter.
And so I did, I was certain I'd struck the right balance between emulsifiers, globular proteins and leavening agents.
Well, you leavened it alright.
It's most befuddling.
Mother Adrian, I don't understand, while Sister Boniface has many talents, we both know cooking ain't among them.
We can wave goodbye to that 50 pound prize money.
Oh, Sister Boniface will win a prize more valuable than money, humility, a quality she is sorely lacking.
Ah ah ah Go on, Colin, gobble it all up.
[water splashing.]
[Cynthia breathing deeply.]
Oh, I just came to get my asthma inhaler.
God-fearing woman? Like you don't want to win.
On my own merits, not by stooping to underhand methods.
What's going on? She's finishing her cake.
Gladys, get away from your station.
-I was just- -I don't want to hear it.
If you two continue with this childish feud, I'll have you both suspended from the WI.
Oh.
[soft orchestral music.]
We're back, reset.
Ah, what have we here? So much for regal grandeur.
Cat got your tongue, dear? Well, let's see if it passes the taste test.
What's happening to your face? - [soft tense music.]
- I beg your pardon? What's wrong with my face? You're a demon, a d-devil! [choking.]
Oh, Lord, are you alright? - [Gladys choking loudly.]
- [intense melodic music.]
- Uh! - [cake squelching.]
- [people gasping.]
- [knife clattering.]
We'd better lift her up, before she chokes.
[footsteps running.]
Um, yes.
- She's dead.
- [people gasping.]
[people chattering quietly.]
[cake squelching.]
- [gurney squeaking.]
- What a way to go, face first, you said? - [camera clicking.]
- With an audible splat.
Heart attack? Well, that wouldn't explain the hallucination.
She saw Prunella turning into a demon.
To be fair, the woman can be a bit of a dragon.
I don't think she meant it as a metaphor and while I can't completely rule out demonic possession, it would be unscientific not to explore medical and pharmacological explanations first.
Poison.
Oh, that's a distinct possibility.
How long is this going to take? I mean, I don't want to be insensitive, but we're on a tight schedule.
Pleasure to meet you, Mrs.
Gladwell.
My grandmother is a huge fan.
That's delightful.
As I was saying- Yeah, it could be days, I'm afraid.
You think it was foul play? Did anyone see Mrs.
Tibbs eat anything before she died? We'll need to see the footage from today's filming.
If we can't finish it today, we won't have enough time to edit it for broadcast on Saturday.
Telephone Jerry, tell him one of the contestants has popped their clogs and we're just going to have to remount it live.
- [camera clicking.]
- Come on.
Heaven forbid anyone should accuse her of being insensitive.
She's our national treasure, you know.
Beloved by millions.
Your country never fails to puzzle me.
So who might want to kill poor Gladys? Was there any animosity between her and the other contestants? [light orchestral music.]
Ah.
And as for you, I make sure to give you the best cuts of meat and this is how I'm repaid.
I knew it.
You'll be eating nothing but tripe for the next six months, that's assuming I don't evict you both - by the end of the day.
- What? You can't do that.
The tenancy agreement clearly states you must give us at least one month's notice before you can.
No one is getting evicted.
Look, Mrs.
C, your altercation with Gladys was reported and we are duty bound to follow it up.
Look, obviously the notion that an upstanding, churchgoing woman such as yourself is responsible is, it's unthinkable.
We're merely trying to establish the timeline for the hours before her death.
Can you tell us what your argument was about? Ghastly woman, a brazen liar and a shameless Jezebel.
Don't write that down.
I caught her cheating, she reentered the tent to finish her cake and afterwards to add insult to injury, she had the unmitigated cheek to accuse me of sabotage.
Sabotage? It was just before we started filming again.
What have you done to my gateau? I beg your pardon? The crown and you've added extra blackcurrants.
Nonsense, I haven't touched it.
[Director.]
Quiet please.
I mean, the woman was quite deluded.
I mean, why on earth would I put extra blackcurrants onto her cake? - [melodic orchestral music.]
- [birds chirping.]
[flies buzzing.]
[light orchestral music.]
Sister Boniface, will you be gracing us with your presence at, [screaming.]
! Oh, no.
Colin! I'm so sorry, Reverend Mother Adrian, I found him floating dead in the pond.
And decided to dissect him, to desecrate his body? Well, I needed to find out where the- You've gone too far this time, your devotion to scientific inquiry has blinded you to the sacred.
I insist you hand over that fish this minute.
With respect, Reverend Mother, I'm not blind to the sanctity of Colin's life, I'm trying to find out who ended it.
Who? Well, it's just a hypothesis, but I believe that whoever killed Gladys also killed Colin and it's only through scientific inquiry, that I can help bring the killer to justice.
And afterwards, perhaps, well, I've always fancied trying my hand at a spot of taxidermy, so.
Don't push your luck, Sister.
[light orchestral music.]
What is Belladonna, I found identical berries in what was left of Gladys' cake.
I believe the killer contaminated it, a few of the berries somehow finding their way into the pond.
Poor Colin never had a chance.
- [water running.]
- [man laughing.]
[water splashing.]
[man laughing.]
Colin? Oh yes, Reverend Mother's favourite carp.
Right, well, I'll be sure to add Colin's untimely death to the charges.
Mrs.
Clam told us the cake had been tampered with after the break in filming.
But whoever did it didn't know, that Gladys was going to eat it.
Which leads us to a new hypothesis.
Prunella Gladwell was the intended victim.
[soft orchestral music.]
But as the tide's turning on women's rights, aren't you afraid that your brand of social conservatism will turn you into a bit of a, well, forgive me for saying, but a relic? I'm sorry, dear, I could barely hear you above your agenda and quite frankly, if traditional values are going to become a relic, this country is doomed.
But when those values subjugate an entire section- Do I look subjugated to you? Found the culprit, Inspector? Can I talk to you in private, please? Culprit? Peggy told me the cause of yesterday's death hadn't yet been determined.
I'll be releasing an official statement later today.
Well, you know I'm not interested in official.
So you know each other? Your intrepid reporter was just telling me, that she believes in strong women asserting their dominance over men.
-That's not at all what I- -Yet here you are practically throwing yourself at one of them - for a story.
- I'm not throwing at him.
Our relationship is strictly professional.
- Completely ridiculous.
- That was easy.
[light orchestral music.]
Murder in the WI, I have to say, I'm not surprised.
It's a hotbed of intrigue.
Meaning? In private, please? Can you think of anyone who might want to harm you? [Prunella sighing.]
Mrs.
Gladwell? What's going on? Someone's trying to kill me.
What? Who? Did you argue with anyone yesterday? I didn't ruffle any more feathers than usual.
Prunella doesn't suffer fools.
[Felix clearing throat.]
Ah, one moment.
The production assistant saw three other people entering the tent in addition to Mrs.
Clam, Hilary Rhodes and the victim.
One contestant, Cynthia Piper, Prunella's assistant, Azad Verma and her husband.
Yeah? - Good work.
- Something else, the cameraman saw Prunella and Azad arguing during a break.
Huh, she didn't mention that.
Let's go and see what Azad has to say.
[soft orchestral music.]
I mean, you don't even know if belladonna grows on the convent.
I mean, the killer could have brought it in from outside.
Well, belladonna's a herbaceous perennial, quite common, I'd be surprised if it didn't turn up somewhere.
Oh, the leaves! Bingo! [light orchestral music.]
And look, here's where the killer picked them.
Aye, aye, what's this? A clue, [claps hands.]
I feel quite like Sherlock Holmes.
Bravo, Sisters, your assistance has been invaluable, but since this is now a crime scene, if you wouldn't mind just, um Charming.
[birds chirping.]
[light orchestral music.]
[envelope rustling.]
[light orchestral music.]
- [tongs clattering.]
- [envelope rustling.]
[light orchestral music.]
According to our witness, Mrs.
Gladwell called you - "A disgusting deviant.
" - [scouring pad scraping.]
Strong words.
Your witness must've misheard.
He seemed very certain.
She was asking me for icing sugar, "A dusting ingredient," she said.
Why did she call you a deviant, Azad? Was it to do with your personal life? Look, I'm only interested in catching a murderer, I'm not here to pass judgement.
[birds chirping.]
She caught me with one of the crew members.
But all of the crew members are male.
She terminated my contract.
I have until the end of the show.
And then you went into the marquee? I needed to be alone.
Was there anyone else in there with you? No.
Azad? I didn't do anything.
[soft orchestral music.]
It looks like writing, but water and mud have made the ink run.
It'll take me a while to dry it out, before I can take a look under UV light.
However, far more pertinent is this, [light orchestral music.]
Angora, but the only person, that I recall wearing it yesterday was Cynthia.
[Sam.]
Motive? [Sister Boniface.]
Prunella hated her cake.
Seriously? Her criticism was particularly brutal.
But over a cake? So she picks up these berries in flight of reach, an impulse grab? [Sam.]
Over a cake? If you'd seen the way Prunella devastated her.
Yeah, I'd like to see that footage.
How are we getting on with that? Just done.
Admittedly, Cynthia didn't seem in a murderous rage.
Well, I'll bring her in, I'll see if I can whisk her into a frenzy.
- Or whip her into a rage.
- [both laughing.]
- Stir her into a confession.
- Oh.
Very good.
[light orchestral music.]
It's just an act for the cameras, isn't it? I heard she was brutal, you must have been angry.
Well, I was a bit upset.
Just a bit upset? I would've been fuming.
Well, I can't be angry at Prunella, I'm her biggest fan.
[Cynthia laughing awkwardly.]
[Sam clearing throat.]
[Sam.]
We found this in your rubbish bin.
I was just letting off some steam.
Well, you had every right to be angry, Miss Piper.
The way she humiliated you, I would've wanted to scratch her eyes out too.
She's a horrid woman, selfish, cruel.
I'm sorry she treated you that way.
What were you doing out in the garden, during the break in filming? Oh, I went there to have a little cry.
Did you notice the belladonna berries growing on the bushes? Belladonna, I You think I I-I didn't know they were there.
I saw Hilary and Prunella coming and took off back to the marquee to get my makeup.
Hilary and Prunella? They were arguing.
About what? I don't know.
[soft orchestral music.]
[Sam sighing.]
[soft orchestral music.]
[car door thudding.]
[background office workers bustling.]
A hotbed of intrigue? And what's that, your new favourite nightspot? The WI.
I knew you'd take the bait.
- What have you got? - What have you got? Off the record? Alright, for now.
We think that Prunella Gladwell was the intended victim.
Well, that's bigger than I thought and you think it was somebody at the WI? What do you know about Hilary Rhodes? I've heard rumours.
We had some words, yes.
About? I caught her having a go at James, belittling him.
What do you care about how she treats her husband? James and I were courting, when I was in culinary school, that's how he met Prunella.
She stole him from you? I let him go, he was never really interested in me.
And yet you saw fit to jump to his defence? It wasn't just about James, she treats everyone as though they're her subjects.
I noticed.
It must have grated you when she came into town, flaunting her success, especially with your own troubles? Troubles? Your husband, the multiple investigations from the Inland Revenue, warrant out for his arrest, whereabouts unknown.
Pleased with yourself, are you? Digging through my life like a rat? I was just trying to understand, that's all.
Your husband abandoned you, leaving you with nothing but seized assets and shortly after, you invite your old rival to town.
Orders from head office, every branch had to put out a personal invitation.
It was the last thing I wanted to do.
So no resentment, no jealousy? Jealousy? [laughs.]
I don't want her life, it's a sham.
- A sham? - [soft tense music.]
I have my troubles, but at least I'm living in the real world.
[film projector whirring.]
Something's been cut, about two seconds.
Two seconds of incriminating footage.
Of what? Show me again.
[film projector whirring.]
There.
What do you see? Who delivered the film? Major Gladwell dropped it off at the station this afternoon.
[soft orchestral music.]
- Probably a camera glitch.
- [liquid pouring.]
It wasn't a camera glitch, you cut the footage.
Excuse me? [Sam.]
My guess is it was something between you and Azad.
I don't know what you're getting at.
Hilary Rhodes, your ex-girlfriend, she told me that your marriage was a sham.
Why would she say that? Probably still pining after me, poor woman.
Look, I don't care about your personal life.
Oh, this is nonsense.
I'd rather do this here, but if I have to take you down the station, I will, Azad as well.
He told me that Prunella fired him, because she caught him with a crew member, but I don't think that's true.
Major, look, I'm not gonna expose you.
[birds chirping.]
She found out.
What's gotten into you? I'll decide how I talk to the help.
[soft orchestral music.]
[James.]
He is more than just the help.
You're right, he's a hindrance, I think we should get rid of it.
- No.
- Why do you care so much? Oh, my God, I don't give a damn about your trips to London for a cheap fling, but this is on our doorstep, in our home, on national television, this threatens everything.
It isn't a cheap fling.
What, you're in love with him? I don't know what it is.
I'll tell you what it is, it's over.
That's not up to you.
Break it off or I will make sure the whole world knows, that behind that uniform is nothing but a mincing sissy.
Why did you go in the marquee? To comfort Azad after she'd fired him.
And the footage? I could see how hurt he was by what Prunella had said.
As he went passed me, I squeezed his hand, stupid, an impulse, but I couldn't help myself.
So now you know, I'm not the only Queen of the Kitchen.
Why didn't you tell me that you fired Azad? And risk exposing my husband? And your argument with Hilary? What argument? She had the gall to tell me how to talk to you.
But I hardly think that she would try to kill me over that.
That is not your decision to make.
I can't protect you, if you keep hiding things.
Exactly, your life's in danger.
[Sam.]
What else haven't you told me? Nothing.
[light orchestral music.]
[Sister Boniface.]
Cinnamon, flour, cream.
You're needed for your close up, Sister, they're about to start.
Oh.
[melodic orchestral music.]
[measuring spoons clattering.]
[whisk beating.]
[bowls thudding.]
[mixture sloshing.]
[spoon clanking.]
[paper rustling.]
Ah ah ah Oh.
Ah ah Hm.
[liquid pouring.]
[melodic orchestral music.]
[Sister Boniface exhaling heavily.]
[gong chiming.]
[cheerful melodic music.]
The consistency brings to mind the texture of wet cement.
Why is there a carrot in this banana cake? [cheerful melodic music.]
It's not a major disaster, more a minor catastrophe.
[cheerful melodic music.]
So Sister, you'll have to remind me of what this is as it bears no resemblance to any of my recipes.
Yes, right, well, it started life as an almond and honey sponge, which then evolved into a souffle and now appears to have sunk into an almond and honey bake.
Maybe try to think of it more as a chewy biscuit.
[cheerful melodic music.]
It will certainly stick indelibly in my memory as well as in my teeth.
[cheerful melodic music.]
Too much cinnamon, it's one teaspoon, not two.
I suggest you read my books more carefully.
Well, we will be back after this commercial break, when I will be announcing the winner.
[Director.]
We're off, five minutes.
[soft orchestral music.]
You may want to have a word with Hilary.
Sir, I just got off the phone with the WI, there was no order made to invite Prunella.
- [light orchestral music.]
- I think you're right.
[soft orchestral music.]
It's two teaspoons of cinnamon, it always has been.
I think I know my recipe better than you, Hilary.
It's not yours.
You can't change one tiny thing and call it yours.
I'm not listening to this again.
[knife whooshing.]
[ominous melodic music.]
But the recipe on the paper says two teaspoons, not one - and you know what that means? - Plain as a pike staff.
Hilary came up with the recipe first? Correct, Peggy, years ago, the paper's imprinted with a crest, a wooden spoon and griddle, my guess from the culinary school they both went to.
So all this over a cake? We'll check the grounds.
[light orchestral music.]
[Director.]
It's 10 seconds, where is Prunella? - I can't do this on my own.
- What? Please.
[Director.]
In five, four, three.
Welcome back, as you can see, Prunella is, well, she's indisposed at the moment.
She has a very bad tummy.
Let's hope it wasn't something she ate.
[crew laughing.]
So.
- Admit it.
- Admit what, that you've gone stark staring mad? - [Prunella screaming.]
- [soft tense music.]
- [footsteps running.]
- Hilary! Take another step and she's gone.
Okay, tell us what you want.
We know she stole your recipe.
[laughs.]
It wasn't just one recipe, was it? Break it off or I will make sure the whole world knows that behind that uniform is nothing but a mincing sissy.
[soft tense music.]
You have no right to talk to him that way.
How dare you tell me how to talk to my husband.
Why did you invite me here? I just wanted what she owed me, but she wouldn't listen.
I'd hoped to do this over dinner, but seeing as you'll be rushing off.
- [paper rustling.]
- What's that? Exactly what it looks like, caramelised peaches and cream cake, my recipe.
You're delusional.
I don't know what she's talking about.
This is your last chance.
Hilary, put down the knife and then tell me all about it, I want to hear your side of the story.
If I put down the knife, this conversation's over.
Okay, well, tell us here what happened.
- [Cynthia sobbing.]
- Don't you walk away from me.
I have no interest in discussing your fantasies.
I have a whole loose-leaf binder full of recipes just like this one, all of them in your first cookbook, the one that made you famous.
And you've waited all these years to confront me about it? My circumstances have changed.
What happened to Mr.
CEO? Do I detect desertion, abandonment? You always did have ideas above your station.
What was it we used to call you? The scholarship girl.
You were the only one that called me that.
And look at you now, begging for charity again, it's pathetic.
I got where I am today, because of who I am, not because of a few recipes.
- This is worthless.
- [paper tearing.]
[Hilary gasping.]
Much like yourself.
[tense orchestral music.]
I don't want to hear it, if you two continue this feud, I'll have you both suspended from the WI.
[tense orchestral music.]
And you threw the rest into the pond? After poor Gladys died.
I had to get rid of the evidence.
So you see, I have nothing left to lose.
Admit it, that's all you have to do and I'll let you live.
I strongly advise you to do as she says.
Just say the words.
- [dramatic music.]
- [Hilary shrieking.]
No, [sobbing.]
admit it please! It's the same old story, scholarship girl on her knees begging for validation.
Wretched creature.
[Hilary sobbing loudly.]
It's been an honour for Azad and I to taste your delightful desserts, ladies, but there can only be one winner and this week's Queen of the Kitchen is, [Both.]
Cynthia Piper.
- [all applauding.]
- [light orchestral music.]
Oh, I can't believe it.
Well done, oh, well done, well done.
- It was a wonderful cake.
- Thank you.
- There you are.
- Here you are.
And that's all we have time for, but on behalf of myself, Azad and Prunella- [Azad.]
Wherever she's got to.
[all laughing.]
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
[Director.]
And we're out.
- Well done again.
- Oh, thank you so much.
What happened? Clear up and then you can collect your final pay.
Wait.
I can't do this anymore, Prunella.
Do what? The theatrics, the playacting, Hilary was right, it's a sham.
Hilary has just tried to kill me.
What? [Prunella.]
You think you can walk away from all this? You love the theatrics as much as I do.
I'm getting too old for it, so are you.
And if this is my last chance for love.
Leave us alone.
No.
Goodbye, Prunella.
Yes, goodbye.
[soft orchestral music.]
I'll ruin you! Trouble in paradise? He's not the story, she is.
I'll tell you in the pub later.
[soft orchestral music.]
[switches clicking.]
I heard you caught the killer.
Yes.
Oh, um, I thought Colin deserved a stately casket.
Oh.
Did Prunella pass judgement on your dessert? It wasn't to her taste.
A lesson learned.
Undoubtedly, next time I'll lend my culinary skills to someone more appreciative of my talents.
Don't be late for Vespers.
Ah ah [TV Announcer.]
Prunella Gladwell, former national treasure, now disgraced Queen of the Kitchen.
The scandal of divorce followed by revelations in the "Albion Bugle," that she stole the recipes that made her famous have turned this once beloved figure into a social pariah.
-So a- -What? So a little bit of butter first.
Of course, yes.
[TV Announcer.]
But every cloud has a silver lining and this one's in the shape of the nation's new favourite duo.
- [both laughing.]
- Right.
Add your sugar here.
Oh, I tell you what we do need, the flour.
- [whisk beating.]
- The flour, the flour.
[James.]
Yes.
[TV Announcer.]
In "Two Men and a Stove," Major James and Azad Verma teach the nation's men how to cook dishes from around the world, whether it's to woo their sweethearts or to impress their wives.
Making the perfect romantic gift.
For that special someone in your life.
[melodic orchestral music.]
Ah ah ah ah Ah ah Ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah ah ah Ah ah
And we just run around the inside of the bowl there.
[TV Announcer.]
Prunella Gladwell, the nation's most glamorous housewife has become an inspiration to women across the country with her no nonsense approach to cooking.
Lovely, but what I want you to do, Azad is to start putting two teaspoons, two teaspoons.
Azad gets very nervous sometimes, as do I in front of all of you.
And that's the way and we're going to be making -some nice cocoa macaroons -[whisk beating.]
and you give this a very good beating.
You can see why it's called a good beating.
[TV Announcer.]
And now after years of teaching our ladies how to make the perfect sponge, England's Queen of the Kitchen is touring the country, judging cookery competitions for the WI as part of her brand new television programme.
So keep your eyes peeled, ladies, as well as your potatoes, because Prunella could be coming to your town next.
- [cheerful melodic music.]
- [whisk beating.]
[melodic orchestral music.]
Ah ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah [car rumbling quietly.]
[car door clicking open.]
[car door thudding.]
- [melodic orchestral music.]
- [camera clicking.]
- [car door thudding.]
- Sorry to interrupt, - would you mind? - [camera clicking.]
Oh.
To Cynthia.
Of course.
[camera clicking.]
Thank you.
[melodic orchestral music.]
[camera clicking.]
Now remember, smiles, grace, decorum.
[Hilary sighing.]
Oh, thank you for joining us, Sister, you're a godsend, quite literally.
Honestly, half these women don't know their creme brulee from their petits fours.
We can hear you.
Happy to lend my culinary skills.
Cooking is just chemistry, after all.
Your attempt at rock cakes was more like geology.
Poor Sister Clemon needed a new set of dentures.
Yes, well, on that occasion, I must admit I did indulge in some experimentation.
This time, however, I will be following the recipe to the letter.
Here they come.
No slouching, big smiles.
We supposed to curtsey as well? You're ruining the moment.
Our fairest queen, the nation's treasure and my lady wife, Prunella Gladwell.
[all applauding.]
Good afternoon, ladies.
I thought she'd be taller.
I'm Hilary, president of the Great Slaughter WI.
Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.
Hilary Fenshaw? I wondered if you'd recognise me.
Good Lord.
Hello, James.
Your letter said Hilary Rhodes.
Married name.
Where is the lucky gent? Yet another business trip, perils of being married to a CEO.
Well, you've certainly come a long way.
I've always imagined you married to an accountant in Slough.
I thought we could catch up after the recording, take a stroll down Memory Lane? Sadly, I'll be shooting off to another engagement, but it's been nice to see you again, Hilary.
[light orchestral music.]
No chance of anyone passing off a shop bought cake as their own in front of the camera, is there, Gladys? Oh, here we go.
Now is not the time to bring up last year's Bakewell tart debacle.
I am a god-fearing woman, I am not a cheater.
Ssh, ladies.
Three, two.
Welcome to the beautiful grounds of St.
Vincent's Convent, Great Slaughter and the seat of another nail biting competition.
This week, the ladies have chosen to make one of my devilish desserts, but who will have what it takes to whip up a concoction to my exacting standards? Ladies, introduce yourselves.
Hilary Rhodes, caramelised peaches and cream cake.
Vera Clam, lemon macaroons.
Gladys Tibbs, berries galore blackcurrant gateau.
Sister Boniface, almond and honey sponge.
Cynthia Piper, chocolate truffle layer cake.
Dorothy Thimble, um [Cynthia.]
Buttercream banana cake.
Cream cheese carrot cake.
As always, there's only 60 minutes on the clock.
After all, if you spend all day making a single dessert, when will you find time to clean the house or do the laundry? I always like the house spick and span and all my shirts starched and ironed.
Luckily we have help, otherwise you'd be stuffed.
At your service, madam.
And for the winner, a cash prize of 50 pounds.
Azad, start the clock.
[melodic orchestral music.]
These aren't carrots.
I'm making a banana cake.
Oh! Are you nervous, dear? Don't worry, there'll only be about 10 million people watching.
- [footsteps running.]
- [metal clanking.]
You clod, Azad! Sorry, madam, I-I didn't see the- Honestly, you can't get the help these days.
- [packet thudding quietly.]
- [melodic orchestral music.]
Beat it like you mean it, Sister.
- [whisk scraping.]
- [batter sloshing.]
[measuring spoons clanking.]
[Cynthia sobbing.]
[bowl clattering.]
[bowl thudding quietly.]
[whisk beating.]
[tray clattering.]
[tray thudding.]
- [clock ticking.]
- [melodic orchestral music.]
[gong chiming.]
[Gladys sighing.]
[cheerful melodic music.]
Was there an earthquake? I-I get so clumsy when I'm nervous.
The ones I make at home always turn out lovely.
[laughs.]
Well, let's just pray that it tastes better than it looks.
[cheerful melodic music.]
See you've had a little problem with your ganache there.
Um.
[snapping fingers.]
Thank you.
Hm.
Yeah.
[cheerful melodic music.]
[Prunella snapping fingers.]
I think this belongs to you.
[cheerful melodic music.]
Now, what do we have here? [Director.]
Cut, problem.
Take 15 minutes, everyone.
Leave the tent, until we call you back.
Miss Gladwell, Ruth Penny, "Albion Bugle.
" I was hoping you could spare a few moments for an interview? Didn't you get the press release? I'd like to do something a little more in depth, a profile piece, really explore the issues.
Issues? You're one of those.
One of what? A feminist.
And what if I am? Do you really want to go head to head with me? Oh, I'm game, if you are.
I'll see if I can fit you into my schedule.
I'd be so grateful.
[birds chirping.]
Obviously I'll be cutting out your remark about Azad.
What remark? Demeaning him on national television.
What's gotten into you? I'll decide how I talk to the help.
[light orchestral music.]
You said you were going to follow the recipe to the letter.
And so I did, I was certain I'd struck the right balance between emulsifiers, globular proteins and leavening agents.
Well, you leavened it alright.
It's most befuddling.
Mother Adrian, I don't understand, while Sister Boniface has many talents, we both know cooking ain't among them.
We can wave goodbye to that 50 pound prize money.
Oh, Sister Boniface will win a prize more valuable than money, humility, a quality she is sorely lacking.
Ah ah ah Go on, Colin, gobble it all up.
[water splashing.]
[Cynthia breathing deeply.]
Oh, I just came to get my asthma inhaler.
God-fearing woman? Like you don't want to win.
On my own merits, not by stooping to underhand methods.
What's going on? She's finishing her cake.
Gladys, get away from your station.
-I was just- -I don't want to hear it.
If you two continue with this childish feud, I'll have you both suspended from the WI.
Oh.
[soft orchestral music.]
We're back, reset.
Ah, what have we here? So much for regal grandeur.
Cat got your tongue, dear? Well, let's see if it passes the taste test.
What's happening to your face? - [soft tense music.]
- I beg your pardon? What's wrong with my face? You're a demon, a d-devil! [choking.]
Oh, Lord, are you alright? - [Gladys choking loudly.]
- [intense melodic music.]
- Uh! - [cake squelching.]
- [people gasping.]
- [knife clattering.]
We'd better lift her up, before she chokes.
[footsteps running.]
Um, yes.
- She's dead.
- [people gasping.]
[people chattering quietly.]
[cake squelching.]
- [gurney squeaking.]
- What a way to go, face first, you said? - [camera clicking.]
- With an audible splat.
Heart attack? Well, that wouldn't explain the hallucination.
She saw Prunella turning into a demon.
To be fair, the woman can be a bit of a dragon.
I don't think she meant it as a metaphor and while I can't completely rule out demonic possession, it would be unscientific not to explore medical and pharmacological explanations first.
Poison.
Oh, that's a distinct possibility.
How long is this going to take? I mean, I don't want to be insensitive, but we're on a tight schedule.
Pleasure to meet you, Mrs.
Gladwell.
My grandmother is a huge fan.
That's delightful.
As I was saying- Yeah, it could be days, I'm afraid.
You think it was foul play? Did anyone see Mrs.
Tibbs eat anything before she died? We'll need to see the footage from today's filming.
If we can't finish it today, we won't have enough time to edit it for broadcast on Saturday.
Telephone Jerry, tell him one of the contestants has popped their clogs and we're just going to have to remount it live.
- [camera clicking.]
- Come on.
Heaven forbid anyone should accuse her of being insensitive.
She's our national treasure, you know.
Beloved by millions.
Your country never fails to puzzle me.
So who might want to kill poor Gladys? Was there any animosity between her and the other contestants? [light orchestral music.]
Ah.
And as for you, I make sure to give you the best cuts of meat and this is how I'm repaid.
I knew it.
You'll be eating nothing but tripe for the next six months, that's assuming I don't evict you both - by the end of the day.
- What? You can't do that.
The tenancy agreement clearly states you must give us at least one month's notice before you can.
No one is getting evicted.
Look, Mrs.
C, your altercation with Gladys was reported and we are duty bound to follow it up.
Look, obviously the notion that an upstanding, churchgoing woman such as yourself is responsible is, it's unthinkable.
We're merely trying to establish the timeline for the hours before her death.
Can you tell us what your argument was about? Ghastly woman, a brazen liar and a shameless Jezebel.
Don't write that down.
I caught her cheating, she reentered the tent to finish her cake and afterwards to add insult to injury, she had the unmitigated cheek to accuse me of sabotage.
Sabotage? It was just before we started filming again.
What have you done to my gateau? I beg your pardon? The crown and you've added extra blackcurrants.
Nonsense, I haven't touched it.
[Director.]
Quiet please.
I mean, the woman was quite deluded.
I mean, why on earth would I put extra blackcurrants onto her cake? - [melodic orchestral music.]
- [birds chirping.]
[flies buzzing.]
[light orchestral music.]
Sister Boniface, will you be gracing us with your presence at, [screaming.]
! Oh, no.
Colin! I'm so sorry, Reverend Mother Adrian, I found him floating dead in the pond.
And decided to dissect him, to desecrate his body? Well, I needed to find out where the- You've gone too far this time, your devotion to scientific inquiry has blinded you to the sacred.
I insist you hand over that fish this minute.
With respect, Reverend Mother, I'm not blind to the sanctity of Colin's life, I'm trying to find out who ended it.
Who? Well, it's just a hypothesis, but I believe that whoever killed Gladys also killed Colin and it's only through scientific inquiry, that I can help bring the killer to justice.
And afterwards, perhaps, well, I've always fancied trying my hand at a spot of taxidermy, so.
Don't push your luck, Sister.
[light orchestral music.]
What is Belladonna, I found identical berries in what was left of Gladys' cake.
I believe the killer contaminated it, a few of the berries somehow finding their way into the pond.
Poor Colin never had a chance.
- [water running.]
- [man laughing.]
[water splashing.]
[man laughing.]
Colin? Oh yes, Reverend Mother's favourite carp.
Right, well, I'll be sure to add Colin's untimely death to the charges.
Mrs.
Clam told us the cake had been tampered with after the break in filming.
But whoever did it didn't know, that Gladys was going to eat it.
Which leads us to a new hypothesis.
Prunella Gladwell was the intended victim.
[soft orchestral music.]
But as the tide's turning on women's rights, aren't you afraid that your brand of social conservatism will turn you into a bit of a, well, forgive me for saying, but a relic? I'm sorry, dear, I could barely hear you above your agenda and quite frankly, if traditional values are going to become a relic, this country is doomed.
But when those values subjugate an entire section- Do I look subjugated to you? Found the culprit, Inspector? Can I talk to you in private, please? Culprit? Peggy told me the cause of yesterday's death hadn't yet been determined.
I'll be releasing an official statement later today.
Well, you know I'm not interested in official.
So you know each other? Your intrepid reporter was just telling me, that she believes in strong women asserting their dominance over men.
-That's not at all what I- -Yet here you are practically throwing yourself at one of them - for a story.
- I'm not throwing at him.
Our relationship is strictly professional.
- Completely ridiculous.
- That was easy.
[light orchestral music.]
Murder in the WI, I have to say, I'm not surprised.
It's a hotbed of intrigue.
Meaning? In private, please? Can you think of anyone who might want to harm you? [Prunella sighing.]
Mrs.
Gladwell? What's going on? Someone's trying to kill me.
What? Who? Did you argue with anyone yesterday? I didn't ruffle any more feathers than usual.
Prunella doesn't suffer fools.
[Felix clearing throat.]
Ah, one moment.
The production assistant saw three other people entering the tent in addition to Mrs.
Clam, Hilary Rhodes and the victim.
One contestant, Cynthia Piper, Prunella's assistant, Azad Verma and her husband.
Yeah? - Good work.
- Something else, the cameraman saw Prunella and Azad arguing during a break.
Huh, she didn't mention that.
Let's go and see what Azad has to say.
[soft orchestral music.]
I mean, you don't even know if belladonna grows on the convent.
I mean, the killer could have brought it in from outside.
Well, belladonna's a herbaceous perennial, quite common, I'd be surprised if it didn't turn up somewhere.
Oh, the leaves! Bingo! [light orchestral music.]
And look, here's where the killer picked them.
Aye, aye, what's this? A clue, [claps hands.]
I feel quite like Sherlock Holmes.
Bravo, Sisters, your assistance has been invaluable, but since this is now a crime scene, if you wouldn't mind just, um Charming.
[birds chirping.]
[light orchestral music.]
[envelope rustling.]
[light orchestral music.]
- [tongs clattering.]
- [envelope rustling.]
[light orchestral music.]
According to our witness, Mrs.
Gladwell called you - "A disgusting deviant.
" - [scouring pad scraping.]
Strong words.
Your witness must've misheard.
He seemed very certain.
She was asking me for icing sugar, "A dusting ingredient," she said.
Why did she call you a deviant, Azad? Was it to do with your personal life? Look, I'm only interested in catching a murderer, I'm not here to pass judgement.
[birds chirping.]
She caught me with one of the crew members.
But all of the crew members are male.
She terminated my contract.
I have until the end of the show.
And then you went into the marquee? I needed to be alone.
Was there anyone else in there with you? No.
Azad? I didn't do anything.
[soft orchestral music.]
It looks like writing, but water and mud have made the ink run.
It'll take me a while to dry it out, before I can take a look under UV light.
However, far more pertinent is this, [light orchestral music.]
Angora, but the only person, that I recall wearing it yesterday was Cynthia.
[Sam.]
Motive? [Sister Boniface.]
Prunella hated her cake.
Seriously? Her criticism was particularly brutal.
But over a cake? So she picks up these berries in flight of reach, an impulse grab? [Sam.]
Over a cake? If you'd seen the way Prunella devastated her.
Yeah, I'd like to see that footage.
How are we getting on with that? Just done.
Admittedly, Cynthia didn't seem in a murderous rage.
Well, I'll bring her in, I'll see if I can whisk her into a frenzy.
- Or whip her into a rage.
- [both laughing.]
- Stir her into a confession.
- Oh.
Very good.
[light orchestral music.]
It's just an act for the cameras, isn't it? I heard she was brutal, you must have been angry.
Well, I was a bit upset.
Just a bit upset? I would've been fuming.
Well, I can't be angry at Prunella, I'm her biggest fan.
[Cynthia laughing awkwardly.]
[Sam clearing throat.]
[Sam.]
We found this in your rubbish bin.
I was just letting off some steam.
Well, you had every right to be angry, Miss Piper.
The way she humiliated you, I would've wanted to scratch her eyes out too.
She's a horrid woman, selfish, cruel.
I'm sorry she treated you that way.
What were you doing out in the garden, during the break in filming? Oh, I went there to have a little cry.
Did you notice the belladonna berries growing on the bushes? Belladonna, I You think I I-I didn't know they were there.
I saw Hilary and Prunella coming and took off back to the marquee to get my makeup.
Hilary and Prunella? They were arguing.
About what? I don't know.
[soft orchestral music.]
[Sam sighing.]
[soft orchestral music.]
[car door thudding.]
[background office workers bustling.]
A hotbed of intrigue? And what's that, your new favourite nightspot? The WI.
I knew you'd take the bait.
- What have you got? - What have you got? Off the record? Alright, for now.
We think that Prunella Gladwell was the intended victim.
Well, that's bigger than I thought and you think it was somebody at the WI? What do you know about Hilary Rhodes? I've heard rumours.
We had some words, yes.
About? I caught her having a go at James, belittling him.
What do you care about how she treats her husband? James and I were courting, when I was in culinary school, that's how he met Prunella.
She stole him from you? I let him go, he was never really interested in me.
And yet you saw fit to jump to his defence? It wasn't just about James, she treats everyone as though they're her subjects.
I noticed.
It must have grated you when she came into town, flaunting her success, especially with your own troubles? Troubles? Your husband, the multiple investigations from the Inland Revenue, warrant out for his arrest, whereabouts unknown.
Pleased with yourself, are you? Digging through my life like a rat? I was just trying to understand, that's all.
Your husband abandoned you, leaving you with nothing but seized assets and shortly after, you invite your old rival to town.
Orders from head office, every branch had to put out a personal invitation.
It was the last thing I wanted to do.
So no resentment, no jealousy? Jealousy? [laughs.]
I don't want her life, it's a sham.
- A sham? - [soft tense music.]
I have my troubles, but at least I'm living in the real world.
[film projector whirring.]
Something's been cut, about two seconds.
Two seconds of incriminating footage.
Of what? Show me again.
[film projector whirring.]
There.
What do you see? Who delivered the film? Major Gladwell dropped it off at the station this afternoon.
[soft orchestral music.]
- Probably a camera glitch.
- [liquid pouring.]
It wasn't a camera glitch, you cut the footage.
Excuse me? [Sam.]
My guess is it was something between you and Azad.
I don't know what you're getting at.
Hilary Rhodes, your ex-girlfriend, she told me that your marriage was a sham.
Why would she say that? Probably still pining after me, poor woman.
Look, I don't care about your personal life.
Oh, this is nonsense.
I'd rather do this here, but if I have to take you down the station, I will, Azad as well.
He told me that Prunella fired him, because she caught him with a crew member, but I don't think that's true.
Major, look, I'm not gonna expose you.
[birds chirping.]
She found out.
What's gotten into you? I'll decide how I talk to the help.
[soft orchestral music.]
[James.]
He is more than just the help.
You're right, he's a hindrance, I think we should get rid of it.
- No.
- Why do you care so much? Oh, my God, I don't give a damn about your trips to London for a cheap fling, but this is on our doorstep, in our home, on national television, this threatens everything.
It isn't a cheap fling.
What, you're in love with him? I don't know what it is.
I'll tell you what it is, it's over.
That's not up to you.
Break it off or I will make sure the whole world knows, that behind that uniform is nothing but a mincing sissy.
Why did you go in the marquee? To comfort Azad after she'd fired him.
And the footage? I could see how hurt he was by what Prunella had said.
As he went passed me, I squeezed his hand, stupid, an impulse, but I couldn't help myself.
So now you know, I'm not the only Queen of the Kitchen.
Why didn't you tell me that you fired Azad? And risk exposing my husband? And your argument with Hilary? What argument? She had the gall to tell me how to talk to you.
But I hardly think that she would try to kill me over that.
That is not your decision to make.
I can't protect you, if you keep hiding things.
Exactly, your life's in danger.
[Sam.]
What else haven't you told me? Nothing.
[light orchestral music.]
[Sister Boniface.]
Cinnamon, flour, cream.
You're needed for your close up, Sister, they're about to start.
Oh.
[melodic orchestral music.]
[measuring spoons clattering.]
[whisk beating.]
[bowls thudding.]
[mixture sloshing.]
[spoon clanking.]
[paper rustling.]
Ah ah ah Oh.
Ah ah Hm.
[liquid pouring.]
[melodic orchestral music.]
[Sister Boniface exhaling heavily.]
[gong chiming.]
[cheerful melodic music.]
The consistency brings to mind the texture of wet cement.
Why is there a carrot in this banana cake? [cheerful melodic music.]
It's not a major disaster, more a minor catastrophe.
[cheerful melodic music.]
So Sister, you'll have to remind me of what this is as it bears no resemblance to any of my recipes.
Yes, right, well, it started life as an almond and honey sponge, which then evolved into a souffle and now appears to have sunk into an almond and honey bake.
Maybe try to think of it more as a chewy biscuit.
[cheerful melodic music.]
It will certainly stick indelibly in my memory as well as in my teeth.
[cheerful melodic music.]
Too much cinnamon, it's one teaspoon, not two.
I suggest you read my books more carefully.
Well, we will be back after this commercial break, when I will be announcing the winner.
[Director.]
We're off, five minutes.
[soft orchestral music.]
You may want to have a word with Hilary.
Sir, I just got off the phone with the WI, there was no order made to invite Prunella.
- [light orchestral music.]
- I think you're right.
[soft orchestral music.]
It's two teaspoons of cinnamon, it always has been.
I think I know my recipe better than you, Hilary.
It's not yours.
You can't change one tiny thing and call it yours.
I'm not listening to this again.
[knife whooshing.]
[ominous melodic music.]
But the recipe on the paper says two teaspoons, not one - and you know what that means? - Plain as a pike staff.
Hilary came up with the recipe first? Correct, Peggy, years ago, the paper's imprinted with a crest, a wooden spoon and griddle, my guess from the culinary school they both went to.
So all this over a cake? We'll check the grounds.
[light orchestral music.]
[Director.]
It's 10 seconds, where is Prunella? - I can't do this on my own.
- What? Please.
[Director.]
In five, four, three.
Welcome back, as you can see, Prunella is, well, she's indisposed at the moment.
She has a very bad tummy.
Let's hope it wasn't something she ate.
[crew laughing.]
So.
- Admit it.
- Admit what, that you've gone stark staring mad? - [Prunella screaming.]
- [soft tense music.]
- [footsteps running.]
- Hilary! Take another step and she's gone.
Okay, tell us what you want.
We know she stole your recipe.
[laughs.]
It wasn't just one recipe, was it? Break it off or I will make sure the whole world knows that behind that uniform is nothing but a mincing sissy.
[soft tense music.]
You have no right to talk to him that way.
How dare you tell me how to talk to my husband.
Why did you invite me here? I just wanted what she owed me, but she wouldn't listen.
I'd hoped to do this over dinner, but seeing as you'll be rushing off.
- [paper rustling.]
- What's that? Exactly what it looks like, caramelised peaches and cream cake, my recipe.
You're delusional.
I don't know what she's talking about.
This is your last chance.
Hilary, put down the knife and then tell me all about it, I want to hear your side of the story.
If I put down the knife, this conversation's over.
Okay, well, tell us here what happened.
- [Cynthia sobbing.]
- Don't you walk away from me.
I have no interest in discussing your fantasies.
I have a whole loose-leaf binder full of recipes just like this one, all of them in your first cookbook, the one that made you famous.
And you've waited all these years to confront me about it? My circumstances have changed.
What happened to Mr.
CEO? Do I detect desertion, abandonment? You always did have ideas above your station.
What was it we used to call you? The scholarship girl.
You were the only one that called me that.
And look at you now, begging for charity again, it's pathetic.
I got where I am today, because of who I am, not because of a few recipes.
- This is worthless.
- [paper tearing.]
[Hilary gasping.]
Much like yourself.
[tense orchestral music.]
I don't want to hear it, if you two continue this feud, I'll have you both suspended from the WI.
[tense orchestral music.]
And you threw the rest into the pond? After poor Gladys died.
I had to get rid of the evidence.
So you see, I have nothing left to lose.
Admit it, that's all you have to do and I'll let you live.
I strongly advise you to do as she says.
Just say the words.
- [dramatic music.]
- [Hilary shrieking.]
No, [sobbing.]
admit it please! It's the same old story, scholarship girl on her knees begging for validation.
Wretched creature.
[Hilary sobbing loudly.]
It's been an honour for Azad and I to taste your delightful desserts, ladies, but there can only be one winner and this week's Queen of the Kitchen is, [Both.]
Cynthia Piper.
- [all applauding.]
- [light orchestral music.]
Oh, I can't believe it.
Well done, oh, well done, well done.
- It was a wonderful cake.
- Thank you.
- There you are.
- Here you are.
And that's all we have time for, but on behalf of myself, Azad and Prunella- [Azad.]
Wherever she's got to.
[all laughing.]
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
[Director.]
And we're out.
- Well done again.
- Oh, thank you so much.
What happened? Clear up and then you can collect your final pay.
Wait.
I can't do this anymore, Prunella.
Do what? The theatrics, the playacting, Hilary was right, it's a sham.
Hilary has just tried to kill me.
What? [Prunella.]
You think you can walk away from all this? You love the theatrics as much as I do.
I'm getting too old for it, so are you.
And if this is my last chance for love.
Leave us alone.
No.
Goodbye, Prunella.
Yes, goodbye.
[soft orchestral music.]
I'll ruin you! Trouble in paradise? He's not the story, she is.
I'll tell you in the pub later.
[soft orchestral music.]
[switches clicking.]
I heard you caught the killer.
Yes.
Oh, um, I thought Colin deserved a stately casket.
Oh.
Did Prunella pass judgement on your dessert? It wasn't to her taste.
A lesson learned.
Undoubtedly, next time I'll lend my culinary skills to someone more appreciative of my talents.
Don't be late for Vespers.
Ah ah [TV Announcer.]
Prunella Gladwell, former national treasure, now disgraced Queen of the Kitchen.
The scandal of divorce followed by revelations in the "Albion Bugle," that she stole the recipes that made her famous have turned this once beloved figure into a social pariah.
-So a- -What? So a little bit of butter first.
Of course, yes.
[TV Announcer.]
But every cloud has a silver lining and this one's in the shape of the nation's new favourite duo.
- [both laughing.]
- Right.
Add your sugar here.
Oh, I tell you what we do need, the flour.
- [whisk beating.]
- The flour, the flour.
[James.]
Yes.
[TV Announcer.]
In "Two Men and a Stove," Major James and Azad Verma teach the nation's men how to cook dishes from around the world, whether it's to woo their sweethearts or to impress their wives.
Making the perfect romantic gift.
For that special someone in your life.
[melodic orchestral music.]
Ah ah ah ah Ah ah Ah ah ah Ah ah ah ah ah ah Ah ah