Sleuth 101 (2010) s01e08 Episode Script

WOMAN: Nice strong lines.
You've really brought her to life.
You think so? Oh, yeah.
If you don't mind, I think you should blend in a little of the, um the the Aringa Rossa paint you have, sort of around here.
Excuse me! We're in the middle of a class.
We've had an anonymous tip-off that Nikki Gleason is here.
Who? That's her! That's the woman who killed our son! OK.
Ern! Is that true? Is that her? Yes! Someone's done the world a service.
She's dead.
(SCREAMS) (APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) Hello.
Welcome to Sleuth 101, the televisual TAFE course for trainee detectives.
A picture paints a thousand words, and all those words are 'murder' when a life drawing class turns into a death drawing class.
From professional con woman to amateur corpse, Nikki Gleason's run from the cops has just come to an abrupt halt.
To round off our series, an absolute caricature of a detective, please welcome the alarmingly lifelike Hamish Blake! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you.
Welcome.
How are ya? Mwah.
How are you feeling? Good, good.
Please, less applause - there has been a murder of a sexy, innocent, very sexy, young sexy lady.
And that's a terrible thing.
Have you actually ever solved anything yourself before? Oh, the Iran-Contra scandal.
I don't know if anyone remembers that.
And apart from that, the Australian Wheat Board, the Iraqi kickback scheme, I was involved in that.
But apart from that, just missing cats, stuff like that.
You're well set up for this, then.
Absolutely.
Now, here is the story.
Nikki Gleason was behind one of the biggest investment scams in history, reaping $20 million and destroying the lives of thousands of victims.
Nikki disappeared without a trace nine months ago, sparking a nationwide search that was unsuccessful until, ooh, right about now.
There are four suspects who are in the frame for this.
You'll get to sketch them out later.
But first of all, I have to draw your attention to the scene of the crime.
OK, stop.
First rule of a crime scene - don't touch anything.
Now, this is Bastings Street Studio, hired out to ex-nun turned art teacher Beatrice O'Malley for her first evening art class.
The forensic team have removed the body, with a little bit too much enthusiasm this week, Dammit! And in their slightly indecent haste, they're bound to have left some stuff lying around.
You've already found one bit of evidence, Hamish.
Now I want you to look around and see what else you can find.
Right.
So that counts? That counts.
OK, one detective point.
It's got your fingerprints on it.
We should point out, terrible life drawing.
Has anyone noticed that? I would be distracted too with a hot girl in front of me, but at least make an effort.
Very, very obvious-looking bank receipt.
"Nikki Gleason".
That's her account details! Aha.
Er, OK.
Back here, we've got another palette knife, I believe these are called.
Tiny spatula, if maybe someone was making mini pancakes.
What have we got on the floor? Is that paint? Is that blood? The old paint-blood conundrum - when you're dealing with art murders, you get that a fair bit.
Now, do you have any sort of detective equipment on you that could perhaps take a sample of that red substance? I was given this before I came on.
I used it to test myself for steroids.
Positive - so I know my dealer's not ripping me off.
So I just get a bit of a swab there, do we? Mm-hm.
Yeah.
Delicate touch there, Hamish Blake.
Nice work.
Could be sauce.
You never know.
Was there a sausage roll present? There could have been.
You can't give anything away.
God bless you.
How many bits of evidence am I looking for? I reckon you've got them all.
Have I? Bank details, two palette knives, swab, notebook.
That was mine.
Bring it over here.
What we're gonna do is we're gonna send this off to forensics.
Are we? Yep.
You're gonna keep hold of the bank statement.
Am I? Yes.
Could be useful later.
Right, it's time to get the full picture, Hamish Blake.
Your first suspect and subject is art teacher Bea O'Malley.
I want her bad.
When Bea became a nun at Our Lady of Perpetual Agony Convent, her creative flair was at first encouraged.
But unfortunately her artistic license was soon revoked and she was shown the door.
To be honest, I'd never heard of Nikki Gleason.
Didn't get much news in the convent.
This girl, Courtney, turned up after seeing an ad for a life model.
We got to know each other while we were setting up.
She talked a lot about her family.
You know how brothers can be, they can be really intimidating.
And then my father died and left me with all this money.
Of course, now I don't know what to believe.
She seemed a bit nervous.
Sorry.
I've never done this before.
You'll be fine.
It's probably a good thing there's only three people in the class.
I'm just gonna put these bags away.
So, we've got a Duncan West and a Jean and Ern Harris.
Where do I know that name from? What was that? Which name? Oh, nothing.
BEA: Courtney seemed preoccupied.
Must have been nervous about taking her clothes off in front of strangers.
Then the first student came in.
Hey! This is the art class with, you know, the nudes and stuff? Hello.
Nice to meet you.
We're still setting up.
I'll help with this.
Oh, look, Ern, it looks like a real art studio.
It IS a real art studio.
I'm sorry.
I've just gotta go to the bathroom.
Excuse me.
BEA: I sent the students to the utility room to get ready and waited for Courtney.
Are you OK? Um, I'm fine.
Why don't we get set up, then? BEA: I got her in position and went to fetch everyone.
That Duncan seemed a little overeager.
So she's taken all her, um I mean, she's in the chair? Yes, Duncan, she's ready now.
This is her first time so please just leave her be and concentrate on your own work.
Sure.
I just need to get a picture in my head.
There you go.
I think that's all I need.
But I haven't got anything yet! Oh! Ern, watch your temper! Now, I need a cup of tea.
Anyone else like a cup of tea? Um No? Good.
I'll just be a minute.
BEA: I was worried about leaving Duncan alone with Courtney for too long, and I was right to worry.
Duncan! I was just looking at the way the light falls on her Oh, I'll get back to my easel.
Thank you.
Look out, woman! Oh, calm down, Ern! You'll have a stroke.
Then what will I do? BEA: And then we started the class.
Nothing unusual happened, except Come with me.
I'm sure we can find just the trick for that.
They're in here somewhere.
Hey, have you ever done any modelling yourself? I'd love to paint you.
Maybe we could do a private sort of class.
Ohh! Try these.
Talking about thick lines.
She does have such lovely fine features, and beautiful skin.
BEA: We eventually picked some paints and went back in the studio.
Ernest! Why don't you take a photo? It might last longer.
What? I wasn't doing anything.
I would have thought you'd get enough of that at home.
(SIGHS) BEA: No-one went near Courtney again until that policeman arrived.
Alright, Hamish, everything you saw actually happened, but a good artist knows what to hide and what to show.
Great call.
Now, your exhibit A is Bea.
(SIGHS) Alright, Bea.
Hmm.
Hello, Detective.
Eyes forward.
Oh, sorry.
(SIGHS) Can I look now? That is a waste.
OK, um Right, Breast is it? Bea? Bea? Bea.
Bea.
OK, great.
So you're a nun, huh? Well well, I am a nun, but W w w B Er Are you or not? Well, I've just left the order a few months ago.
How come? Killed someone? Did you? No, I did leave the order to follow my passion for art.
I mean, as the Bible says, you know, Matthew 9:7, "God helps those who help themselves.
" I'm gonna check up on that, see if you're lying.
I think it could have been Luke 65 22.
Er, what's your favourite commandment? Well, I think I think do unto others as you do to yourself.
I'll check up on that as well.
Who called the cops? Well, I'm not sure.
Because I was with people for basically the whole time.
Did you call the cops? No, I didn't, detective.
Did anyone mention they called the cops? No, and Where did the cops come from? It's perplexing because we were all painting.
It is perplexing so if you've got any answers I would love to hear them.
I'm sorry, detective, I can't help you there.
OK.
And when you killed her, how did you feel? Just a Alright, you're smart.
You're good, you're good.
You're good.
Sorry to interrupt this.
It's a hard habit for me to break.
But we have got, as the Bible says, pathology results for you.
Oh, good.
The victim died from a stab wound to the neck.
The wound is consistent with the blade of either of the palette knives that you found.
Death would have been instant and silent.
Let's talk to Jean Harris.
Jean likes to say that "it's a small world but you wouldn't want to paint it," although she is giving it a good crack.
Unfortunately for Ern, she doesn't know when to stop.
We were so looking forward to this.
It's been a bad couple of years since our son died.
Oh, it was great just to drag Ern out of the house.
Where do we go? Is this it? It's in here.
JEAN: But it was a bit odd when we arrived, not at all welcoming.
I'm sorry, I've just got to go to the bathroom.
Excuse me.
She's a little bit nervous.
She must be the one getting in the nud.
Oh, Ern! I take my clothes off all the time.
I don't get nervous.
No, you make the paperboy nervous.
I have to walk halfway down the road to get the paper.
Where where do you live? I could drop the paper off for you.
Steady on, son.
Ern! JEAN: We got our equipment ready for the class.
Ern needed guidance.
Oh, we've been doing this forever.
What about this one? Oh, Ern, we're not painting a house! So she's taken all her JEAN: And that Duncan was starting to worry me.
I got Ern organised and then went to the kitchen to get a cup of tea.
When I came out, Ern was losing it.
Look out, woman! Oh! JEAN: And then we just started painting.
So, you like sunflowers? No, not really.
JEAN: And then Bea took Duncan under her wing.
I wasn't happy about that at all.
Jean, I need to talk to you.
I've just found out something very upsetting.
Me too.
That Duncan is getting extra personal tuition.
She does have such lovely fine features and beautiful skin.
I wonder if she moisturises.
I must ask her.
I'll ask her.
You would do well to think more with your paints and less with your pants.
Let's head back.
What? Aren't you gonna help me too? I may not be some young fancy man, but I paid the same as him.
My 'Last Supper With Sunflowers' received an honorary mention at the Rotary Fair.
JEAN: And we got back to the studio in the nick of time.
Ernest! JEAN: Thankfully, he hadn't done anything foolish.
So, we started painting again until the policeman arrived.
She's dead.
JEAN: It was too much.
I could feel the tears start.
Instinctively, I reached into my pocket for a tissue, but I found something far more sinister.
Alright, Hamish, time to brush up on Jean.
I would just like to say that Mmm.
Go.
Even though my husband, Ern, has a terrible temper, which can be quite uncontrollable at times, there is no way that he did that murder.
Noted in my imaginary notebook.
When I need help from suspects, I will ask them a question.
But he would have told me and he hasn't told me.
Who gave you the smock that you were wearing? Well, the the art teacher, when we went into the Right.
Yeah.
Or Ern did.
I Oh! Huh? Well, hang on.
That's different.
I got the smock But then he would have got it from the art teacher.
But I got it from Ern, who had nothing to do with this murder.
And if he did, he had every justification.
I'll put it in my imaginary notebook, your husband's not guilty.
You don't mind if I pretend smoke, do you? The one thing that sticks out for me - what made you scream when you pulled the palette knife out of your pocket? Well, I was shocked.
Why? It's an art class.
Pallet knives belong in art classes.
You use them.
Yes, but it Uh-oh, what's that noise? Is that a case cracking? The policeman had just announced that the model was dead.
(YAWNS) Didn't say how.
Did not say how.
Sorry if I seem to be getting excited, but this is the kind of case that can make your career.
See, I'm thinking of Porsches, I'm thinking of holiday houses right now, celeb interviews.
You should be thinking about who should be your bitch in prison.
I don't know how the female system works.
I don't know if your 'bitch' is called, like, a 'dude' 'cause for guys it's a male that's the I don't know how it works.
Hamish, I'm gonna stop you there.
You've definitely painted her into a corner.
We've got some more forensics for you.
Let's hear it.
The red stain on the floor has been analysed, and it is paint - the paint known as Aringa Rossa, which coincidentally is a pseudonym I use to check into hotels under.
Now it's time to take a close look at our next suspect, Duncan West.
Duncan likes to broaden his horizons and other things.
He's an avid artist, photographer and watcher of birds.
Take a close look at him - he's already seen a lot of you.
I always get excited about a new class and a new model, you know.
Hey! DUNCAN: When I turned up, I didn't know which one I'd be painting, but they were both, you know, women.
I'll help with this.
Yeah, thanks.
Hey, you know the great thing about these classes is that when people take their clothes off, they're stripped of all their pretence.
Well, everything isn't as it seems on the surface.
Yeah.
I bet under your clothes you're really hot.
I'm sorry, I've just gotta go DUNCAN: I don't know what she was so offended by.
I mean, she was the one nuding up.
But I had a chance to apologise to her once I came back from the storeroom with my stuff.
Hey, I didn't mean anything by it.
Do you mind if I just move that fabric just a little bit? Duncan! Hey! What? DUNCAN: So, we started.
And then Bea asked me to go to the utility room where we had a rigorous discussion about art.
Then we got back to the studio and we found that filthy old bugger copping a perv.
Why don't you take a photo? It might last longer.
What? I wasn't doing anything.
DUNCAN: I'd swear on my mother's body that I saw something shiny in his hand.
And you know the rest.
Alright, Hamish, ask away.
I'm sure you'd like to have a leer with Duncan.
(CHUCKLES) No laughing.
Serious case.
(CLEARS THROAT) Do you want a biscuit or a cup of tea or anything? I wouldn't mind a Monte Carlo Yeah? Bad luck.
Because I don't feed murderers.
Here's the thing - first question I guess I have for you, Dunconio, would you say you were a regular sicko or a big sicko? Just regular sicko? I'm no sicko, mate.
You are a sicko.
And for the rest of the interview, I will be calling you 'Sicko'.
That's up to you, mate.
Sicko, did you kill her? No.
I'm a people person, mate.
I love people.
Yes, without their consent.
When you were chatting to the deceased - rest in peace.
I agree.
Again, one quick look.
Er, she didn't respond? No.
She wasn't really talkative.
I wanted to talk to her about art because I'm a You know, Picasso, Dandy Warhol, all of those guys, I'm a big fan.
I've been wanting to get that Favourite Picasso painting? I like the stuff the brothel one.
I can't remember the title of it.
Yep.
I think it's called 'Chicks in a Brothel'.
I love it as well.
Right.
How long have you been going to the art class for? I do a range of different classes, not always art, you know.
Hobbies is what I'm into, so telephoto lenses and binoculars.
You are lying to me, Sicko.
Oh, yeah, I have a gun.
Er Look, mate, you've got the wrong guy.
That's a plastic gun anyway.
Well done.
No, I'm not allowed to have a real one because of "the incident".
Well spotted.
I've got something for you if you're prepared to listen to it.
Alright, talk to me.
So, the old bloke, when I come out, he's copping a perve, went into a bit of a haze.
Then there's the palette knife from his missus, then See, I don't think so.
Then there's the art teacher.
I'm thinking they might have all been in on it, some kind of gay So who was your teacher at detective school? Oh, yeah, 'cause you haven't been.
I went to detective school.
OK? Here's what I think.
Yeah, you saw the palette knife, but that was the one that was put back on the easel.
The murder weapon - I'm guessing, but hopefully it'll be ratified by evidence later on - was found in the coat pocket.
There was two palette knives I found at the scene.
Right.
Yeah.
And I didn't have either of them, so Charcoal, I was working with - you probably seen me, you know You did draw quite large breasts on the painting.
Because you're a Good bloke.
Sicko.
Alright, Hamish, I'm gonna stop you there because Duncan's enjoying this a little bit too much.
We've got some information in from Nikki Gleason's bank.
There's been no attempt to remove the money from her account.
The police tagged it as soon as Gleason disappeared, and if she'd tried touching the money, they would have been onto her straightaway.
The final suspect is Ern.
Throughout his life, Ern Harris has been a passionate communicator - as a boss, as a footy fan, or as a father, his message gets through loud and clear.
Mostly loud, though.
I've wanted to kill her since Tommy died.
I'd given up hope the police would catch her.
I suppose that's why I've been so tetchy lately.
But I haven't got anything yet! Oh, Ern.
Watch your temper.
ERN: I think that teacher was nervous about leaving the girl with that weirdo.
She knocked the girl's pants off the peg.
Nikki Gleason's bank statement.
It had so much money in it, including Tommy's.
I had to talk to Jean.
The rest of the class was a bit of a blur.
I couldn't stop thinking about her.
That's an interesting take on it, Ern.
ERN: Part of me wanted to call the police.
Jean, I need to talk to you.
I've just found out something very upsetting.
Well, me too.
That Duncan is getting extra personal tuition.
ERN: I could feel this deep rage inside me.
I don't know how long I was standing there.
I couldn't move.
I was lucky they showed up when they did.
I could have done something really stupid.
Why don't you take a photo? As it turns out, I needn't have worried.
She's dead.
(SCREAMS) Hamish, meet Ern.
Try not to make him angry.
You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Hmm.
Ern.
Old Ernie.
Is this gonna take long? Have you got some questions OK, yes.
I'm now gonna take a five-minute break to punish you for asking.
Alright, fake out, psych out.
Just tell me the first answer that comes into your head here.
What noise did she make when you killed her? You're not very good at this, are you? You're good! You didn't take the cheese, so the mouse trap didn't snap on you - yet.
But I will catch the mouse.
I will catch the mouse.
They don't call me the Big Pussy for nothing.
The bank statement.
Indeed.
That you found.
Yes.
Could you just read the top of the statement, the blue writing? "I did it.
" Yep.
Think we've got him.
We've got him.
That is a confession, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for coming in.
Enjoy the rest of your life in jay-el, as the French call it.
Here's the thing You're very scruffy for a policeman, aren't you? I do a lot of undercover work with homeless people.
You were the only person that correctly identified her as Nikki Gleason, because before that she was being called her alias.
Well, I found her bank statement in her jeans.
Rightio.
And you definitely had motive.
I mean, you're pretty sure she murdered your son.
She didn't murder our son, but she was certainly implicit in his death.
He committed Well, I won't go into the details, but it was all rather tragic.
Sure.
And she took all his money.
So I was very angry with her.
She had $16 million in her account.
How much of your son's money did she take? Well, I'm not sure exactly.
He didn't tell us.
But we know that she had his money.
OK.
A lot of hazy facts here before you start accusing Well, I have these blackouts.
I can't remember things Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! I have periods where I get very angry! Whoa! That is big news! That is Did you have a blackout the day you killed her? I can get you off.
I had a blackout in the classroom, but I am certain I did nothing to her.
What do you remember before the blackout? What do you remember after the blackout? I remember talking to Jean and saying At any time did you tell Jean, "That's Nikki Gleason"? I didn't have an opportunity.
She left before I could.
And then, so, when everyone was out of the room I had the blackout.
And then when you woke up from your blackout Jean was shouting at me.
So you were alone in the room with Nikki Gleason with the palette knife in your hand, having a blackout? Yeah, that's bad.
Hamish, I'm gonna stop you there before Ern has another blackout because I'm scared for your safety.
I would love that, Ern.
(YELLS) Oh, alright! Safe, I'm safe.
Final forensics are in, Hamish.
(SIGHS) Oh, dear.
Both palette knives have been examined, and our experts have confirmed the murder weapon was the one Jean Harris was holding.
And that's it.
That's the full canvas.
So who did it? Did the nervous ex-nun knife the nefarious nude in the naked neck? Or did Jean join judge with jury and juggle justice on the jail-bound jezebel? Did Duncan do it? Or was it stern Ern's turn to inter her in an urn? Here's a clue just for you.
Would you feel left out if I didn't give you a hand? Watch that back later and you'll find it was nearly helpful.
And what about Blake? Will he spot the fake or make a mistake? Let's take a break.
Time for cake.
(SCREAMS) Alright, Hamish, time to make a bold sweep of accusation across the colourful landscape of suspects arrayed before you.
Final address.
(TAPS PEN) Quick question - raise your hand if you called the cops.
Annoying.
Um Hmm.
Tough case.
Tough case.
They warned me about this at detective school.
They said, "Sometimes you'll get tough cases.
" And I've certainly got one of those now.
Dunc, you did admit you're a sicko.
No, you said I was.
Well, you stopped protesting towards the end and I took that as a confession.
I lost energy by that time.
OK.
Well, you're a sicko, alright? Er, sidenote - I have access to the evidence.
Would you like the deceased's underpants? What sort of price are we talking? Yeah, that's the sicko test.
You failed again! Alright.
I'm gonna employ a little tactic I got taught in police school here.
Get under everyone's suspicious skin, or GUESS, if you're looking for an acronym.
This is now the Innocence Wand.
You're innocent.
You're innocent.
OK? Hmm, tick tock.
Who gets the Innocent Wand? (CHUCKLES) Because, bearing in mind, once the Innocent Wand is tapped, the Notebook of Guilt will strike the guilty party's head.
Oh, it's so tough.
Who will go down for the murder? Mmm.
(WHISPERS) I ca I just want Alright, you crazy old bastard.
There you go.
Guilty! Guilty! Burn her! Burn her! Guilty.
You killed her.
OK, Hamish.
Actually, sorry, can I Sorry, I think it was you, mate.
Yeah.
I'm dropping Throw water on her.
Throw water on her.
Don't burn her.
Burn him.
So, come up here next to me.
We'll see if you're right.
(WHISPERS) Really, I don't know.
OK, OK.
Will the real murderer please unveil themselves.
Alright.
Oh, come on! I did it.
Why?! What, you're a nun! I'm no damn nun.
You're not even a nun?! It turns out the murderer was, well, Nikki Gleason.
Oh! So poor old Beatrice O'Malley, former nun turned quite hot and rather tanned art teacher, is the one currently lying in the morgue.
That's right, she did the old switcheroo.
The sisters were supportive but the monks didn't really appreciate what I was doing.
And you know how brothers can be, they can be really intimidating.
And then my father died and he left me with all this money.
You have to feel sorry for Bea.
She was quite nervous about teaching her first class.
But finding that her life model was the notorious Nikki Gleason Where do I know that name from? made her downright petrified.
She decided to call the police Excuse me.
It's Nikki Gleason! but Nikki Gleason overheard the phone call and knew she needed to act fast.
I'll get you to take your clothes off.
She could have easily made a run for it, but she was tired of running.
She couldn't access her own money and Bea had just inherited stacks from her father.
Nikki was on the verge of a brand-new identity, but first she would have to frame one of the others by planting the murder weapon on them.
(SCREAMS) Nikki gave it away with her lack of biblical knowledge, Hamish.
Mm-hm.
"God helps those who help themselves" is actually a quote from Benjamin Franklin.
Just as good as the Bible, in my in my opinion.
And the final thing is that nuns don't cross themselves with their left hand either.
Oh, that could have easily been a mirror image.
That's (LAUGHTER) So, how are you feeling, Hamish? Yeah, good.
I think anyone that's watching the show closely would have known that obviously the whole Innocence Stick was a bit of a charade.
I was just trying to weed her out.
And I got you to confess in the end by walking forward and admitting it.
So I think that's a win.
Nice work, Hamish.
You were beautifully useless.
Oh, thanks very much.
It was the perfect crime.
They're hard to solve.
Now, this was the final episode in this series and thus your last chance to spot this week's actual red herring.
Go to our website and let us know if you found it.
And while you're there, check on the Sleuth 101 interactive game.
Until next time, I've been Cal Wilson, or an excellent facsimile.
Goodnight.
Mmm! (MUFFLED) That's good! (BLEEP) If anyone tries to (LAUGHTER) MAN: That right there.
She's dead! WOMAN: I can see her moving! Can't do it.
Can't (BEEP) Ooh.
I would have killed him.
(LAUGHTER) MAN: Cut there.