Sliders s01e08 Episode Script

Tomorrow the judge passes sentence.
I don't have to remind you of the stakes.
Now, listen to me.
The insanity defense still has merit.
You could tell the judge your story about other dimensions, parallel worlds the works.
He'd have no alternative but to declare you insane.
(sighs) Look, I don't mean to be offensive.
I know you honestly believe you're some sort of alien.
Not an alien more a visitor.
This little fantasy may be what's keeping you amazingly calm, but you've got to come to grips with reality.
The sad truth is that this is your world, and you are in big trouble.
Do you hear me, Quinn? This is your world.
No it isn't.
(loud voices overlapping) Bailiff: All rise.
This Court of the State of California is now in session.
(camera clicks) Please be seated.
Your Honor, despite the eyewitnesses and the fingerprints, I swear to you, it wasn't me.
Quinn Mallory, this court is satisfied the guilty verdict delivered by nine of your peers was just.
Spray painting a freeway overpass is an act of public defiance that spits directly in the face of the taxpayer, and shows flagrant disregard for the sanctity of public property.
This doesn't sound good, it doesn't sound good at all.
Therefore, I have no choice but to sentence you to the maximum sentence of death by lethal injection.
Attorney: Your Honor, I appeal on the grounds that the death penalty is cruel and unusual punishment.
I ask the court to reconsider the verdict.
Quinn: What if you could find brand new worlds right here on Earth, where anything is possible? Same planet, different dimension.
I found the gateway.
(theme music plays) Your Honor, I appeal! I appeal on the grounds that I believe the death penalty to be a cruel and unusual punishment.
Appeal noted and rejected.
I appeal again, on the grounds that my client is criminally insane.
A new trial would clearly establish that fact.
Judge: Second appeal noted and rejected.
Well, that's it then.
You cooked your own goose, kid.
That's it? That's the entire appeal process? It is now.
Don't you remember Prop.
199, the Instant Justice Initiative? Where have you been? - On another world! - Professor: Now! (screaming) Whoa! - Go! Go! - (attorney gasps) See you! My God! He was telling the truth! Whoo that was unbelievable, you guys! That has got to be the coolest jailbreak of all time! It was pretty cool, wasn't it? But your tagging counterpart almost got you killed there.
It just goes to show, every world has its own taboos.
We have to be careful not to violate them.
Taboo or not, I've had my share of the criminal justice system.
Let's get out of here before they arrest me for something else.
Professor: All right.
If this isn't our Earth, it's roughly three days to the window.
I'm starting to think our Earth only exists in our minds.
Our earth is real, Rembrandt.
We'll make it back.
- I know we will.
- (laughing) - Man: It really looks like him.
- Woman: I can't believe it.
(laughing) Gentlemen, check your flies.
- (couple laughing) - Woman: Look at him! - It is him! - Man: Wow! Hey, hey, hey, pretty good.
You almost can't tell it's an act.
You're here for the convention, right? The "Crying Man" convention at the Oakland Hilton.
All the top Rembrandt impersonators are gathering there.
- I saw it on the news.
- Wait a minute.
Did you say there's a batch of people trying to be "The Crying Man" on this world? - Yeah.
- Do you realize what this means? Yes, it means you're popular here.
It means we can't be on our Earth.
This means that this world just can't get enough of me! (laughing) Unbelievable! It's a good feeling, isn't it? We may not have made it home, but we've finally reached a paradise planet.
It's not exactly my idea of paradise.
Look beyond the material things, girl.
On this Earth, I am loved and appreciated - the way I should be - (Wade laughs) That must mean that people have elevated their minds to a higher plane.
Good grief.
I know his ego's the size of the Grand Canyon, but I forget that yours is right there too.
I'm a nice kind of guy.
Do not involve me with his ego.
Mine is based on a lifetime of achievement.
(laughing) (screams) Oh, great.
Do you see what we've done? We jaywalked.
On this Earth that must be a big deal.
Professor: On the count of three run! You were saying something about a "higher consciousness"? Forget it! Okay, there you go.
Thanks a lot, man.
I think I think we lost them.
- "Tears in my 'Fro"! - I beg your pardon? "Tears in my 'Fro.
" I've got tears in my 'fro 'Cause I'm standing on my head Over you! (chuckles) "Tears in my 'Fro.
" Yeah, that was the single that I put out after I split from the "Topps.
" Failed to chart.
So, you liked "Tears in my 'Fro"? Are you kidding? I love it! Yeah, I'll never forget the night I took Mommy to the prom.
It was playing in the limo.
Straight to number four like a shot! Soon to be number one for what was it? Nine weeks? Nine weeks? How sweet it is! You know all that, being a "Crying Man" impersonator and all.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
- Can I give you a tip? Platform shoes.
The real King was much taller.
Oh, platforms, huh? (chuckles) (TV program theme music plays) Where did you learn how to do that? "Gilligan": That weather balloon was our way of getting off the island.
But you had to set it on fire and see if it was flammable.
"Skipper": Oop! Sorry, little buddy.
I guess I really messed up this time.
"Mr.
Howell": This time? You do nothing but mess up, my boy.
Beginning with piloting the Minnow They're being kinda rough on the Skipper, aren't they? Do you realize how big I must be on this Earth? We're talkin' big with a capital "B.
" (giggles) Gin.
I am kicking your butt, Professor.
Professor: Nuts.
"Mary Ann": Gilligan and I want to get married.
If you were a real skipper, you could do the ceremony - and we wouldn't have to wait.
- "Skipper": Sorry, Mary Ann We interrupt "Skipper's Island" to bring you a special bulletin.
Friday will mark the eight-year anniversary of the tragic death of Rembrandt "Crying Man" Brown, the undisputed king of rock and roll.
His tragic demise shocked the world, but his music Did you hear what she said? "The undisputed king.
" known for crying real tears in every performance, his hardcore fans have refused to accept his passing.
She forgot to mention I can cry out of each eye individually.
- Wade: Shh, listen.
And such mythic tales were thought ridiculous, until Marc Freedlander, a tourist from Cincinnati, took a home movie that may place his name alongside Zapruder in the annals of history.
I've got tears in my 'fro News anchor: Until today, an entire nation asked the question, "Is the King really back?" (laughing) (rhythmic tapping) Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah - Yeah, yeah whip it, whip it - I said, whip it - Whip it, whip it - I said, whip it - Whip it, whip it - I said, whip it - Whip it, whip it - I said, whip it (harmonizing) Ahh-hh-hh, ahh-hh-hh Ahh-hh-hh, ahh-hh-hh Crack that whip Give the past the slip Step on a crack, break your mama's back No, no, ladies, ladies, ladies! Please, please, please.
Stop whipping it, huh? This is a "Devo" tune.
You gotta put more life into it.
Woman: Jack? What, Cissy? Jack, there's a Penny Jenson from Channel 43 News to see you.
Here? To see me? It's been a long time since the press have come to see me.
Don't forget, honey, that "Crying Man" convention's in town.
You're right.
You'd better send her in.
Hurry up now.
Come on.
Well, Miss Penny, how wonderful to see you.
You're my favorite newscaster.
Well, thank you! I suppose you're here to see me about the King, huh? Yes.
Yeah, well Instead of tripping down memory lane, why don't we take an exciting glimpse into the here and now? - All right.
- I'll show you some of the acts in Captain Jack Brim's stable.
Look over there.
That's my latest.
Yeah, them gals have quit their day jobs.
In fact, they even left their families to pursue a job in show business, right, girls? (Jack chuckles) Okay, ladies.
Come on down here.
I've got some acts here in this book, that you're gonna love.
Here, for instance, Oh! Waylon Chong.
This is a Country-Western act.
It's the hottest in all of Red China.
Boy, he is gonna be fabulous if we can ever get him out.
Ooh, the "Bass Ace.
" You know a lotta folks say that the bass is not a soloist's instrument.
But I've got hundreds and hundreds of senior citizens that beg to differ To be honest, we're just not interested in those other acts.
- We've come because of Rembrandt.
- Oh Yeah, well, I guess he's the one that I'm most famous for.
What's your angle this time? Eight years Friday, since he kicked.
Angle? You mean you haven't heard? Rembrandt's voice: I'm surfin' On an ocean of tears Seems like I've been I've been weeping for years Oh, my little island girl Set my mind awhirl And I think I need Oh, to drink a couple of beers Well Gag me! Who wrote that tune? - (remote clicks) - Host: The return of "The Crying Man" is only part of the story.
We believe this man could be Jim Morrison of the Doors - What? who also supposedly died years ago.
- This is out of control.
- The girl in the video remains a mystery.
And we have positively identified the fourth individual as none other than that great Italian tenor, Luciano Pavarotti.
- I didn't know you sang opera! - Only in the shower, my boy.
(others laugh) Of course, we can only speculate, but considering that two supposedly dead stars are reemerging simultaneously, well, perhaps Pavarotti wished to be present to represent the mainstream musical world on this momentous occasion.
I'll never forget the night l received the news.
The King was sponge fishing in the Gulf, when his boat went down in this terrible storm.
Not a trace of his body was ever found.
Captain Jack? I can't believe that guy was managing my double.
When I split from the "Topps," he begged me to take him on.
Swore up and down he would take me right to the top.
Jack: It's one of the things I really loved about him.
He was a jerk, but maybe I made a mistake.
I guess now the King belongs to the deep.
And you still believe that? I'm afraid that Rembrandt, he would have contacted me years ago if he was still alive.
No, I just got to remain a hopeful skeptic.
Jack: Well, well.
Thank you very much, Miss Penny.
I hope you got everything you came for.
Thank you, gentlemen.
You keep the batteries charged.
"Captain Video," thank you.
Would you come in here, please? Woman: I'm ready, I'm ready! He's alive! Alive! Do you understand what that means? That means that if I get back in his good graces, I could have a career again.
(cheering) (fans yelling) Boy, I tell ya those boy Quinn: The word is out.
Rembrandt! Your fans know we're here.
(chuckles) So what's the big deal? My fans are so desperate to see me, I'll just go out there and give them a taste.
Are you sure it's safe? They look pretty crazed.
Girl, my music can soothe the savage beast, and my personality is just as disarming.
I'll just go out, give them a little hello and request a little privacy for me and my entourage.
Others: "Entourage"? Y'all know what I mean.
(laughs) (fans yelling) Dis-graceful! - Wade: He's in trouble.
- I'll get him back.
Leave this to me.
All right now (yelps) Those people are animals! They all want a piece of me and I mean literally! The price of fame? And I love every minute of it! Except when that old lady tried to put a vise lock on my behind.
- Lord! - If you loved it so much, why'd you come back inside? I may have loved it, girl, but I couldn't have survived it.
There is such a thing as "too much love.
" - Did you see the Professor? - Wade: Oh my God! (yelling) - Put me down, you infidels! - Quinn: I gotta go get him.
Professor! Keep them away! Keep them away! Keep them away! Are you all right? I think all the essentials are still there.
You will call the police now, and get us a police escort out of here, away from that mob! Whoa, be reasonable.
A police escort? Mr.
Pavarotti I am not Mr.
Pavarotti! Mr.
Pavarotti is an Italian.
He speak-a like-a this.
Do I speak-a like this? No! Why? Because I am an Englishman, you blistering idiot! Now, I have had it up to here with you! You had no right to advertise our presence in this third-rate hotel.
Jack: Come on, honey.
What? Whoo! Shazam, I haven't seen a crowd this worked up since Michael Jackson rejoined Public Enemy.
Now, you come to the box office tomorrow night, and there'll be two tickets at "Will-Call" for you.
Thank you, Officer.
Mr.
Pavarotti as I live and breathe.
What a pleasure to meet you, sir.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, see? I knew it was you! - You you got in here, can you get us out? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
I've come in here with a royal offer for the King himself.
You gotta take me to him.
I can't begin to tell you how happy he'll be to see me, Mr.
Pavarotti.
The name is Arturo.
Maximillian Arturo.
And you are? Captain Jack Brim.
- The Captain Jack Brim? - That's right.
Wow I always thought you were dead too.
Jack: I'm the bearer of a gift.
Rembrandt: What's this gift all about? Manana an audience of billions is going to tune in to see the triumphant return of the King in concert, on all four networks, and pay-per-view around the world.
Jack: And get this, the promoters, they're gonna fork over are you ready? $1 million per song.
Do you hear me, Remmy? If you pull a "Springsteen" stay on that stage all night, I'll be set for life.
Oh and you you'll be richer than you already are.
Professor: Will you excuse us, just for a second? Yeah, sure.
$1 million a song? We'd never have money problems again, - that's for sure.
- Oh yeah.
We slide tomorrow night, at 9:03 p.
m.
That'll be right near the end of the show.
It's too close, too complicated.
I say pass.
Wait a minute, are you cracked, Q-Ball? This is everything I've ever wanted.
You worry too much.
I'm doing the show and that's final.
All right, Jack, I'm in! - Terrific.
- Yeah, providing that we ever get out of here.
I don't think "Live at the Motel 12" has such a good ring to it.
Exiting this dump is gonna be a little tricky, but you've got experience at things like that.
Right, King? Yeah.
Come with me, folks.
I'm telling you, we're not even gonna be able to fold all the money we're gonna have.
Come on, I've got my own private limo parked around the corner.
Wow.
Hey, Q-Ball? Remember this beauty? Yeah, now come on.
It's my ride from days gone by, huh? Whoo! Mmmm.
Oooh, child, it's true! It is you.
Who are you supposed to be? I'm supposed to be you, lamb chop.
In honor of your return.
Welcome back.
Thank you.
Rembrandt! "K-R-I BABY.
" "Crybaby.
" (gunshots, yelping on TV) Announcer: We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special announcement.
All of tonight's regularly scheduled programming will be preempted so we can bring you Rembrandt "Crying Man" Brown in his internationally televised What the hell? All details of the concert remain top secret, as Captain Jack Brim has kept Rembrandt tightly under wraps since his sudden reappearance here in San Francisco just yesterday with his mysterious entourage.
Advance sales continue to break all records, as millions of viewers prepare to tune in - Yeah? We'll see about that.
the largest pay-per-view broadcast event ever.
Quinn: What do you mean, you can't call the police? - I can't! - Maybe you can't, but I can.
No, hey, please, I beg of you.
No.
Look, I'm as concerned about him as you are even more.
Do you realize I got a hundred million people gonna tune in to see him go on stage tomorrow night? Do you realize the kind of lawsuits I'm faced with? I don't believe this guy.
This is our friend, okay? I don't give a damn about your lousy show.
- I'm calling the cops.
- Hey! Don't do that.
Listen, you do that, you may never see him again.
Just remember that our kidnapper here, he's gonna contact us.
But, if you contact the police, or the press get involved in this, there's no telling what might happen.
Hey, you ever hear of the Lindbergh kidnapping? - He may have a point.
- Yeah, whoever did this, has a vested interest in thwarting the pay-per-view.
Let me tell you.
What are you saying? They're from a rival cable company? Huh, that's possible.
Now, trust me, please, you just stay here and keep out of sight, all right? - Where are you going? - I'm going down on stage, and line up some of them replacement acts.
By the way, if he should call here the kidnapper, you give him my cellular number, all right? - That's it? - Hey! I'm doing the best I can.
Hold down the fort till I get back, honey.
Now what? - What are you doing? - I don't care what that guy says, I'm calling the cops.
Rembrandt: Who are you and why are you doing this to me? Oh, I can't believe you don't recognize me.
I was only the most important "Spinning Topp" of all.
- Say what? - Don't toy with me, sugar biscuits.
You can't tell me you don't know Maurice Fish when you see him.
Maurice? I don't believe this.
Maurice, quit playing! Untie me, man! Ugh! - I must be in hell.
- You're not deceased, honey, that's why you're here.
Trust me, your resurrection was a bad career move.
You left this world at the perfect time a legend who had peaked, disappearing into the sunset.
- You should have left well enough alone.
- Maurice! Why are you doing this? Untie me, man.
We can talk about old times, okay? I'll untie you, brother, all you gotta do is sign this.
Both: "I, Rembrandt Brown, acknowledge that Maurice Fish was the true brains behind "The Spinning Topps" And I admit to the world that I stole all my songs from him.
And that I became famous, like him - (laughing) - By stepping on his back.
" You just gotta sign it right here.
(cackling) - Oh God - You won't be laughing long.
When I get through with you, you won't even have a tongue.
Maurice? Look, Maurice, okay, I've quit laughing, man.
Untie me, okay? Maurice! It's not funny anymore, man.
Come on, untie me! Doggone it.
Professor: And when will the lieutenant be back? Don't you understand this could be a matter of life or death? (huffs) Oh, it's ridiculous.
San Francisco Police say they think the matter's a hoax.
They say they have a file that thick on false Rembrandt sightings.
Well, what are we gonna do know? Quinn: Wait! I think I'm on to something.
Luckily Captain Jack had a modem on his computer.
- I've accessed the DMV records - Why? The license plate on that red Cadillac said "KRI BABY.
" Here we go.
Thank God for vanity plates.
- Did you trace it? - Maurice Fish.
- That's East Oakland.
- Let's go.
- Rembrandt! - Who are you? Where's Jack? You just missed him.
He went to the auditorium.
- Thanks.
- Rembrandt? "Mr.
Brown" to you, sweetie.
Only my friends call me "Rembrandt.
" Wait you're those people from the video on the TV news.
Where is that impersonator? That son of a gun is trying to steal my life.
You're the other Rembrandt.
No, no, I'm the real Rembrandt.
No, the real Rembrandt, "The Crying Man," is dead.
And you are clearly not dead.
No, I am "The Crying Man.
" I only faked my death because I wanted to get out of the business, okay? Now, I've shared my little secret.
What's yours? - We have to tell him the truth.
- There's no time.
We're from a parallel dimension.
The impostor's not an impostor.
He's really you.
- Say what? - No time to explain.
- Do you have a car? - Outside.
- Can we borrow it? Our friend's in trouble.
- Humph! Forget it.
Our friend's been kidnapped by some guy in a red Cadillac.
Uh that's his name and address right there.
- Maurice Fish? - You know him? Huh! I'm the one that had him institutionalized.
The guy hates me.
Wait a minute if Maurice thinks your friend is me, next time you see him, he'll be face up in the morgue.
Were you leaving before dessert? Where do you think you're going? Come on.
Don't think you're about to get Maurice, listen to me.
I can solve all of this.
I'm not really your Rembrandt.
You can go ahead and untie me.
Look, I'm from another dimension.
I'm leaving this Earth tomorrow night.
Your Rembrandt is dead.
You have nothing to worry about.
The stories of the booze and the pills must all have been true! To see you so delusional is a sad, sad thing.
I usually use this to do my legs but it'll do your neck very nicely.
Maurice, please, look, this has gone on too far, okay? Look, hey, hey, I'll sign the papers, man, - just untie me.
- You'll sign, all right! You'll sign it in blood! Don't worry, sweet pea.
I'll make sure your final minutes are happy ones.
Slap me, love me Grab me, bump me bump me, bump me Takes your love To really, really stump me Whoo-oo! Whip me, kick me Lick me, lick me lick me, lick me Girl like you could really, really trick me Whoo-oo! Baby, baby, please down on my knees You're the kind I adore, let me have some more Slap me, love me whoo-oo! Oh yes.
Thank you.
Oh yes.
I don't know what to say.
I taught you everything I know.
(crowd chatter) Quinn: Jack! Talk to you later.
Where's Jack? Onstage, introducing the acts.
I checked the stage.
He wasn't anywhere near there.
- I don't know - Rembrandt! - Rembrandt! - All: Yo! I thought it was Rembrandt.
- That's me.
- Me.
- Me.
- They're all Rembrandt.
There you are! Do you hear that crowd? They're ready to tear me apart.
I'm running out of acts.
We're tracking down the guy who took Rembrandt.
We've got a friend parked outside.
We're on our way to East Oakland.
Keep putting on impersonators.
Oakland? Who's next? - All: Yo! - That's me, man.
I'm the one, yeah.
- Pick me, man.
- I'm good.
Rembrandt #2: Open the door, Maurice! I'm gonna check out front.
Let's go.
- Maurice! - (gun cocks) You back up and head right on back where you came from.
Please, don't shoot.
Don't tell me what to do in my own house, now.
(laughing) Easy does it there, Charmagne.
How do you know my name? Rembrandt? Hey, baby.
Don't "baby" me.
So you are alive? Ahem So to speak.
Uh you seen Maurice? Maurice? I ain't seen his worthless self in two and a half years since I kicked his sorry behind out of here.
Uh ma'am you wouldn't happen to know where we could find his sorry behind, would you? Last I heard, he took over his nephew's lease near Telegraph.
Intersection of Povill Street.
- Do you know the address? - Red house on the south corner.
Now that is all I know.
See you, baby ahem, Charmagne.
Sorry about the door.
I'll take care of it.
(humming) Pack up All your cares and woe Here I go Swinging low Um-mm-mm Blackbird Bye-bye! Um-mm-mm.
Okay, guys, this is the place.
All right, you go in the front way, I'll go in the back.
You know my one regret? I can't make you suffer as long as I did.
- (muffled) - Uh-uh! As much as I'd love to hear you beg, we don't wanna disturb the neighbors.
I'm gonna savor this moment, sugar.
Wade: Rembrandt! Stay there! I'll slice him like a brisket.
Rembrandt #2: Put the razor down, Maurice.
You how the hell? - Are you all right? - I am now.
I was just trying to scare you into retirement, man.
You know I'd never really do anything to hurt you.
- Get him out of here.
- You're nothing, man! I was the brains! Two of you ain't worth half of me.
- Come on - I ain't done, son.
I'll be back, Jack.
You ain't heard the last of "The Crying Prince.
" - Let's get him out of here.
- Quinn: Move it.
That is the ugly side of fame.
My Lord! You're alive! And you're me.
I thought that was the craziest story I ever heard, but no one could fake me like that.
Both: Why do you - Both: Sorry, man.
- Rembrandt #2: You go ahead.
So you faked your death, huh? It's the only way I could get back to being human again.
Oh man, this is weird.
All of my life I've dreamed of success like yours and you just walk away from it.
I was full.
I had to back away from the table.
But you, you still hungry.
Look, we're just entertainers.
We're supposed to make people feel good, but sometimes things just get out of hand.
- Yeah.
- You know they built a shrine for me in Memphis? It's called "Crying Land.
" Grown women worshipping there every day.
Other folks keep having plastic surgery so they can look more like me.
What's the matter with that? - You'll see.
Walk a mile in my shoes.
- Oh, I plan to.
You sure you want this? The fame, the life? It's all I ever thought about ever since I was a kid.
Man, I'm telling you, that's all I ever thought Then here it is, my brother.
You become me.
Wh-what? You walk up to the plate, I go home, kick back.
Are you serious? - I am if you are.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh yeah, man, I'll take that pressure off your hands.
Yes! Yes! Be careful what you wish for, "other Remmy.
" - Right, right, right.
Huh? - You ready to do it? - Let's dance.
- Let's dance.
Let's dance! Lmpersonator: And if you had a heart Maybe you'd start - Crowd: Off! Off! - To understand (heckling) Mercy.
Captain, they found him.
Oh, thank God! Boy, you are cool as ice.
I'd be a nervous wreck.
Don't encourage this, Wade, okay? Rembrandt, look, we slide at a little after 9:00.
I'm afraid if you go up there, you're gonna lose track of time.
Professor: He's right.
It is a risky business being separated that close to departure.
Well, you've brought up an interesting question, and that's what I want to talk to you about.
Uh-oh, I know where this is going.
No, no, don't get me wrong, please.
I love you guys, but my place is here with my music.
Maybe it's fate, maybe that's why I got caught up in that wormhole in the first place.
What about your doppelganger your double? Professor, say something.
Mr.
Brown, I can only add a note of caution to what has already been said.
Guys, I know what I'm doing.
You gotta let go and try to be happy for me, just like I would be for you if you found your paradise.
Jack: Thank God they found you! You ready? How do you feel? - Never better.
- O-kay.
Remember the sequence.
"Tears in my 'Fro," "Love Explosion," "Cry Like a Man," "Explosion of Love," Then "I'm a Tear Jerk," "Who Stole my Woman?" Then we segue into the big finale, "Headbutt Me," then the encore "Weeping Wall of Tears.
" I got it.
I love this man.
Ladies and gentlemen, stand aside.
The King is back.
Yeah.
Man: Somebody stop him! (heckling continues) You're breaking my heart! The man has more keys than a motel clerk.
Oh God Thank you.
I got an armored car to get you out of here.
There he goes, ladies and gentlemen, the "Albino Rembrandt" has just left the building.
Okay, cool it down now, come on.
Act a little dignified, ladies and gentlemen.
The moment that we're waiting for is soon at hand.
I guess this is goodbye then.
We'll be in the wings, but around 9:00, we've got to go.
Okay.
I'm gonna miss you, sweetheart.
Ladies and gentlemen, like the legendary Lazarus has risen, like Prometheus has come from the flames It's been a delight to know you.
- Well - Quinn: There's nothing we can do to change your mind? I just gotta go ahead and take that chance.
I take back all those things I said about everything being your fault.
I'll never forget you, Q-Ball.
Here he is the King, ladies and gentlemen, it is Rembrandt "Crying Man" Brown! (music plays full) (cheering) Go get 'em, Rembrandt! I'm trying to be happy for him, I just think he's making a terrible mistake.
You Aren't you afraid you'll be spotted? All eyes are on him.
I just come around to see if he's got what it takes before I let him take away my crown.
And what are you going to do in the light of this unexpected development? Go back to fishing, relaxing, living the quiet, private life.
Nobody's going to be looking for me as long as he's here.
I cannot tell you how much I admire your choice.
I'll say.
I don't think I could walk away from a million dollars a song.
A million dollars a song? I don't believe this! I've got tears in my 'fro 'Cause I'm standing on my head Over you And I I've got a long way to go Will this crying stop? I wish I knew Well, I think it's time we found a quiet place to slide.
I really don't think we should leave him here.
Oh it's his life and it's what he wants.
Let him go, Miss Wells.
Come on, let's go.
I'm only half the man I used to be - Yeah-hh! - (music uptempo) Well, I got tears on my 'fro 'cause I'm standing on my head Over you! What's going on? Yeah-hh First I thought our love was neverending Together, you and I until eternity But now I realize I'm just pretending I'm only half the man that I used to be Whoo-oo! Got tears in my 'fro 'Cause my world is upside down over you-oo Yeah, I should comb them, I know Oh, man.
I'm seeing double.
Both: Whoo! I got tears in my 'fro 'Cause my world is upside down over you - You, baby - You, babe I should comb them out, I know But that's the saddest thing I've ever had to do-oo Ladies and gentlemen, let's have a big round of applause for the greatest Rembrandt impersonator of them all! They love you! You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, baby.
I got tears in my 'fro 'cause I'm standing on my head Oh my God, they think our Rembrandt's just another impersonator.
We've got to get him off there.
- Quinn: Rembrandt! - Wade: Rembrandt! Quinn: Rembrandt! Come on! We've got seven minutes to slide! - Rembrandt! - Rembrandt, come on! Now I realize I'm just pretending I can't believe he did that to me! I got tears in my 'fro 'cause I'm standing on my head Over you, yea-ah Yeah-hh! Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-haw! Rembrandt: He gets the comeback and I get the doublecross.
- After all of my hard work! - Look, since it is his world, and he did the work, he is the rightful King.
No matter what, Rembrandt, you're the only "Crying Man" to us.
Don't let it get to you.
You're just as good as he is.
Wade: Better! Damn right.
Look at it this way, maybe on the next world, you'll be even bigger than you were here.
- (beeping) - I hate to interrupt this love-fest, but we have to go! Yeah, maybe on the next world I will be bigger.
Yes! Hey-ho! You're the King, right? I mean, are you really the King? No, I'm not really the King.
"Bigger than ever," huh? Quinn: Thanks, kids! Look at it this way, we get free ice cream.
- And we're outside all day.
- Don't, okay! Just don't!