Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s01e08 Episode Script
Batmantis
Ha ha ha!
Funny, Adam.
What other funny stories can you
tell me before we go on the air?
Oh, yes. I remember one time with the late Vincent price,
who played egghead Yeah.
We were in the cliffhanger on the show,
and, uh, we were supposed to
be in an egg fight, Robin and I, with egghead.
Well, the prop guys had brought probably, uh
UhWha Ok!
We're back with bobcat goldthwait.
What?
Where am I?
Moltar, what happened to the feed?
- Did I fall asleep, zorak?
- Yeah.
Moltar, get the feed back!
Sorry.
Was ISnoring or anything?
You were drooling.
Ooh.
Moltar, what are you doing?
Moltar!
Now I'm punchy.
"If you ever want to see moltar again,
"surrender your power bands
and give me control of the universe.
"If you don't comply,
"moltar will be resickled Re recycled.
Signed, your mother."
Hmm.
Holy stolen lava, space ghost!
Moltar's been kidnapped!
Right you are, my little green friend.
An evil ploy by your mother.
Yourmother.
No. Not my mom.
Somebody else's mom.
Someone's sick and deranged mom.
- Oh.
- Zorak, we'll need help.
I'll scan the space frequency
modulator with my remote control ray
to find Batman, restricted.
You do that.
I am becoming uhUh
Meanwhile, at the bandstand,
a hideous mutation rears its ugly head
so hideous that it must be censored.
I shiver with power.
I ache with disease.
I am batmantis!
Aah!
Wait!
Oh, it's you.
Good costume.
Look! Shoot a ray, and you get a word.
Shoot an adjective.
Shoot a proper noun.
Shoot the theory of evolution.
Look into the eyes of justice, your mother.
You'll never get my power bands. Savvy?
Batmantis and I will fight you to the end.
I must go to the control room.
To get butter and cheese?
No. To find moltar.
Oh, oh. Yeah. Yeah.
Lee meriwether?!
Hey, you were catwoman, weren't you?
Yes, a long, long time ago.
I'm looking for Batman, but maybe you can help me, too.
I beg your pardon?
Moltar's been kidnapped, and I must save him.
- Oh, dear.
- It's a pity.
Will you work with me, Lee?
It would be thrilling.
I I'll take on the job if you really think I could.
- I do.
- I'll send you up to batmantis.
Ok. Ha ha!
Have you ever met batmantis?
I haven't, but I can hardly wait. Ha ha!
Ahh.
Lee meriwether.
- Oh, is that it?
- Afraid?
Moltar's been stolen.
Well, I don't think you have to worry
or fear because, um, we have two great
Batman and I am batmantis!
Say it with me.
Batmantis!
Oh, dear.
Moltar, can you hear me?
Are you there, son?
Yes. Hello. Hello.
Great! You're back, Adam.
You're talking to me?
Ahem. I mean, Bruce Wayne.
I know you're really Batman, but can I call you Adam, Adam?
Sure, if you want to blow my cover, tad.
Look, your mother's taken moltar.
Become Batman and help me.
No.
Come on!
I need your superpowers.
Uh, I have none.
What?
No. I'm just a little crazy,
obsessed with fighting crime, but I have
no superpowers.
So your whole life is a lie.
Wherever I find it, I fight crime,
and there is a crime here today, I see.
No kidding.
Ha ha ha!
Look. Look!
That's nice.
Listen, if I use yes,
all the answers all the answers are here
in my new book.
Allthe answers?
Yes. All the answers.
Will you beam me a copy right now?
Yes, if you'll take me to lunch somewhere in the universe.
- No time for lunch, Adam.
- Gimme the book.
- No.
- Give me the book!
No.
You wimp.
Well, I won't have to fight your mother alone.
I have a batmantis.
I have a Robin.
I have a batmantis.
I have a Robin, space ghost.
You, sir, have nothing.
You've been canceled.
Shut up, space ghost.
I'm still on the air.
I'll fight without you.
Good. I'll be here when you get back.
Yeah.
Am I a difficult guest?
No. You're a prince.
Are you disappointed a call on the space feed!
I have to go, Adam er, Batman.
I mean, Bruce.
Whatever.
Is this space ghost.
Who are you?
I am your mother.
You are not!
Heed my will.
Surrender your power bands to me at once.
You're not my mom.
- Yes, I am.
- Are not.
Yes, I am.
What have you done with moltar, you harlot?
He's locked in a subzero vaporizing cabinet,
where he'll catch his death.
- My God, woman!
- That'il kill him!
Eat your peas.
No!
Clean your room.
Uh-uh.
Hey, this thing in the monitor is not my mother.
My room was alwaysclean.
Must think of a plan.
You are not catwoman.
Julie newmar is catwoman.
Julie was our first catwoman,
and then I came in and did the movie.
Julie's better.
Well, eartha, for my money, was the best catwoman.
Gimme your money.
- I beg your pardon?
- Gimme your money!
- Oh, I see.
- Ha ha ha!
Actually, that that was very good.
You mock me?
Purr like a cat.
Ohh, please!
- The children.
- Ha ha!
Listen up, you parasite I've joined
forces with batmantis, and we'll
bring you down.
Batmantis is no match for me.
No one's a match for you, you harlot!
Tell me where moltar is.
- Repent, space ghost.
- Mourn for the frozen.
In 5 minutes, I'll pull the freeze lever,
and moltar becomes glacierized
or you surrender your power bands.
I await your decision.
Don't be late now.
Will space ghost surrender his power
bands and save moltar from your mother?
Will Adam west come to his aid, or will he wimp out?
Will every word batmantis says be
followed by that suspenseful sting music?
What will happen next?
- Why is the sky blue?
- What is the mystery of the yeti?
- Do you know the muffin man?
- Stay tuned to find out.
When we last left him, batmantis was having a heart-to-heart
with Lee meriwether batmantis was having a heart-to-heart
with Lee meriwether and space ghost
was being bullied by your mother.
Surrender your power bands, space ghost.
I await your decision.
Do you have any other questions?
Adam, go peddle your book somewhere else.
All right. Let me open the book and read.
"Dark, ominous clouds hung over"
- Adam, see you at the auto show.
- What?
Meow!
You mean rowwwr.
Meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow.
What planet are you on?
Ghost planet.
How does it feel to be on a ghost planet?
It feels like Wednesday every day.
That's interesting.
Adam west refuses to become Batman and help me.
But I think that's why he was chosen
to be Batman, because it's sort of
a non nothing character.
And he's shallow.
Zorak, however, has become batmantis,
and he's more apt to help me.
Oh, once a bug, always a bug.
Shh! He's right upstairs.
Oh, I see. Ok.
Let me fill you in.
Look into my eyes.
No.
Look into my eyes!
You need a a lobotomy.
And since Adam bailed out, we could use some help.
Yeah. I don't even think I'd be that
interested in any form or fashion.
Is catwoman a fraidy-cat?
Well, I don't know about that.
How about I call you chicken woman?
Well, I'm not very fond of the title.
You're all alike, you catwomen tease, tease, tease.
Yeah. I feel very feline all the time.
Quit workin' it.
So I feel as though I'm slithering.
Cut the act, sister.
Particularly when I see a man, you know, I want to sort of
slither into his arms.
I really?
Time's up, space ghost.
Your lollygagging kills your friend.
Watch as I pull the freeze lever.
No!
Moltar!!!
MoltarMmm UhHuh?
Hey, space ghost, I'm trying to work here.
Moltar, is that really you?
In the flesh if I had flesh.
Oh, moltar!
And zorak!
And what?
I had the most awful dream.
Let's have a bake sale.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education What are these?
- -
- Butterscotch haystacks.
Gross.
What's in these lady fingers, moltar?
- -
- Lady fingers.
Are you going to look, or are you going to buy?
Zorak!
I don't like oatmeal cookies.
They make me go.
These look like fig new hey, you didn't bake these!
Funny, Adam.
What other funny stories can you
tell me before we go on the air?
Oh, yes. I remember one time with the late Vincent price,
who played egghead Yeah.
We were in the cliffhanger on the show,
and, uh, we were supposed to
be in an egg fight, Robin and I, with egghead.
Well, the prop guys had brought probably, uh
UhWha Ok!
We're back with bobcat goldthwait.
What?
Where am I?
Moltar, what happened to the feed?
- Did I fall asleep, zorak?
- Yeah.
Moltar, get the feed back!
Sorry.
Was ISnoring or anything?
You were drooling.
Ooh.
Moltar, what are you doing?
Moltar!
Now I'm punchy.
"If you ever want to see moltar again,
"surrender your power bands
and give me control of the universe.
"If you don't comply,
"moltar will be resickled Re recycled.
Signed, your mother."
Hmm.
Holy stolen lava, space ghost!
Moltar's been kidnapped!
Right you are, my little green friend.
An evil ploy by your mother.
Yourmother.
No. Not my mom.
Somebody else's mom.
Someone's sick and deranged mom.
- Oh.
- Zorak, we'll need help.
I'll scan the space frequency
modulator with my remote control ray
to find Batman, restricted.
You do that.
I am becoming uhUh
Meanwhile, at the bandstand,
a hideous mutation rears its ugly head
so hideous that it must be censored.
I shiver with power.
I ache with disease.
I am batmantis!
Aah!
Wait!
Oh, it's you.
Good costume.
Look! Shoot a ray, and you get a word.
Shoot an adjective.
Shoot a proper noun.
Shoot the theory of evolution.
Look into the eyes of justice, your mother.
You'll never get my power bands. Savvy?
Batmantis and I will fight you to the end.
I must go to the control room.
To get butter and cheese?
No. To find moltar.
Oh, oh. Yeah. Yeah.
Lee meriwether?!
Hey, you were catwoman, weren't you?
Yes, a long, long time ago.
I'm looking for Batman, but maybe you can help me, too.
I beg your pardon?
Moltar's been kidnapped, and I must save him.
- Oh, dear.
- It's a pity.
Will you work with me, Lee?
It would be thrilling.
I I'll take on the job if you really think I could.
- I do.
- I'll send you up to batmantis.
Ok. Ha ha!
Have you ever met batmantis?
I haven't, but I can hardly wait. Ha ha!
Ahh.
Lee meriwether.
- Oh, is that it?
- Afraid?
Moltar's been stolen.
Well, I don't think you have to worry
or fear because, um, we have two great
Batman and I am batmantis!
Say it with me.
Batmantis!
Oh, dear.
Moltar, can you hear me?
Are you there, son?
Yes. Hello. Hello.
Great! You're back, Adam.
You're talking to me?
Ahem. I mean, Bruce Wayne.
I know you're really Batman, but can I call you Adam, Adam?
Sure, if you want to blow my cover, tad.
Look, your mother's taken moltar.
Become Batman and help me.
No.
Come on!
I need your superpowers.
Uh, I have none.
What?
No. I'm just a little crazy,
obsessed with fighting crime, but I have
no superpowers.
So your whole life is a lie.
Wherever I find it, I fight crime,
and there is a crime here today, I see.
No kidding.
Ha ha ha!
Look. Look!
That's nice.
Listen, if I use yes,
all the answers all the answers are here
in my new book.
Allthe answers?
Yes. All the answers.
Will you beam me a copy right now?
Yes, if you'll take me to lunch somewhere in the universe.
- No time for lunch, Adam.
- Gimme the book.
- No.
- Give me the book!
No.
You wimp.
Well, I won't have to fight your mother alone.
I have a batmantis.
I have a Robin.
I have a batmantis.
I have a Robin, space ghost.
You, sir, have nothing.
You've been canceled.
Shut up, space ghost.
I'm still on the air.
I'll fight without you.
Good. I'll be here when you get back.
Yeah.
Am I a difficult guest?
No. You're a prince.
Are you disappointed a call on the space feed!
I have to go, Adam er, Batman.
I mean, Bruce.
Whatever.
Is this space ghost.
Who are you?
I am your mother.
You are not!
Heed my will.
Surrender your power bands to me at once.
You're not my mom.
- Yes, I am.
- Are not.
Yes, I am.
What have you done with moltar, you harlot?
He's locked in a subzero vaporizing cabinet,
where he'll catch his death.
- My God, woman!
- That'il kill him!
Eat your peas.
No!
Clean your room.
Uh-uh.
Hey, this thing in the monitor is not my mother.
My room was alwaysclean.
Must think of a plan.
You are not catwoman.
Julie newmar is catwoman.
Julie was our first catwoman,
and then I came in and did the movie.
Julie's better.
Well, eartha, for my money, was the best catwoman.
Gimme your money.
- I beg your pardon?
- Gimme your money!
- Oh, I see.
- Ha ha ha!
Actually, that that was very good.
You mock me?
Purr like a cat.
Ohh, please!
- The children.
- Ha ha!
Listen up, you parasite I've joined
forces with batmantis, and we'll
bring you down.
Batmantis is no match for me.
No one's a match for you, you harlot!
Tell me where moltar is.
- Repent, space ghost.
- Mourn for the frozen.
In 5 minutes, I'll pull the freeze lever,
and moltar becomes glacierized
or you surrender your power bands.
I await your decision.
Don't be late now.
Will space ghost surrender his power
bands and save moltar from your mother?
Will Adam west come to his aid, or will he wimp out?
Will every word batmantis says be
followed by that suspenseful sting music?
What will happen next?
- Why is the sky blue?
- What is the mystery of the yeti?
- Do you know the muffin man?
- Stay tuned to find out.
When we last left him, batmantis was having a heart-to-heart
with Lee meriwether batmantis was having a heart-to-heart
with Lee meriwether and space ghost
was being bullied by your mother.
Surrender your power bands, space ghost.
I await your decision.
Do you have any other questions?
Adam, go peddle your book somewhere else.
All right. Let me open the book and read.
"Dark, ominous clouds hung over"
- Adam, see you at the auto show.
- What?
Meow!
You mean rowwwr.
Meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow.
What planet are you on?
Ghost planet.
How does it feel to be on a ghost planet?
It feels like Wednesday every day.
That's interesting.
Adam west refuses to become Batman and help me.
But I think that's why he was chosen
to be Batman, because it's sort of
a non nothing character.
And he's shallow.
Zorak, however, has become batmantis,
and he's more apt to help me.
Oh, once a bug, always a bug.
Shh! He's right upstairs.
Oh, I see. Ok.
Let me fill you in.
Look into my eyes.
No.
Look into my eyes!
You need a a lobotomy.
And since Adam bailed out, we could use some help.
Yeah. I don't even think I'd be that
interested in any form or fashion.
Is catwoman a fraidy-cat?
Well, I don't know about that.
How about I call you chicken woman?
Well, I'm not very fond of the title.
You're all alike, you catwomen tease, tease, tease.
Yeah. I feel very feline all the time.
Quit workin' it.
So I feel as though I'm slithering.
Cut the act, sister.
Particularly when I see a man, you know, I want to sort of
slither into his arms.
I really?
Time's up, space ghost.
Your lollygagging kills your friend.
Watch as I pull the freeze lever.
No!
Moltar!!!
MoltarMmm UhHuh?
Hey, space ghost, I'm trying to work here.
Moltar, is that really you?
In the flesh if I had flesh.
Oh, moltar!
And zorak!
And what?
I had the most awful dream.
Let's have a bake sale.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education What are these?
- -
- Butterscotch haystacks.
Gross.
What's in these lady fingers, moltar?
- -
- Lady fingers.
Are you going to look, or are you going to buy?
Zorak!
I don't like oatmeal cookies.
They make me go.
These look like fig new hey, you didn't bake these!