The Artful Dodger (2023) s01e08 Episode Script

1
It's an aortic aneurysm, isn't it?
Yes.
And when it bursts,
this is all over?
I don't wanna leave this world
without knowing love fully.
DODGER: You are loved.
Fully.
Some consider me innately cruel,
but I simply see this as a
necessary part of justice.
For without the rope, society crumbles.
The rope is the brute girdle that
binds us up and keeps us safe.
Yet the rope offers not just
punishment, but salvation.
Would you like to be saved, Mr. Fagin?
Very much, yes. What do you want?
Jack Dawkins.
I know in my blood you
both stole the gold.
Now, if I hang you, I snuff a
vagrant no one much cares for.
But if I hold a public
trial of an upstart doctor,
I set an example that
keeps the brigandry at bay.
Bring him to me
red-handed with the gold,
I'll convict him and hang
him in the marketplace.
Do this for the Crown,
I'll release you now.
And I'll procure you a full
pardon. You will be a free man.
Bramwell.
FAGIN: Stop!
Where do you want him?
Bring him here, six of the clock.
Good boy.
We can fix it.
Astley Cooper performed
the surgery 40 years ago.
I read the case report.
- He killed the patient.
- I know.
I know, but medicine's changed.
We changed it.
Belle, there is a reason why the
best surgeon in the century failed.
You would die on the table.
I believe you can.
Please do not ask this of me.
So, what, you'll just hold my
hand and see me into the next life?
That's not good enough, Jack.
Not if you really love me.
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Here, darling, I've brought you some
- (GASPS)
- (BELLE EXHALES)
You're not to see my daughter
again. You pack your things,
hand over your current
patients to Dr. Sneed,
and leave town by the end of the week.
Belle is dying.
So, you tell her she's dying to
trick her into becoming your whore.
What?
Dr. Sneed examined her last
night and found nothing wrong.
Nervous strain.
Eleven London doctors examined her
supposed illness and found nothing.
They are fools.
But fools who can read.
She wants me to operate.
But that will kill her.
- I don't know what to do.
- You stay silent.
And you can thank God and my principles
that the Governor will
hear nothing of this.
Otherwise, he'd certainly
call for your head.
Get out.
Why don't you tell me about that time
you won the Amateur Agricultural
for best smoked trout?
That'll cheer you up.
Rosie.
I've lost a shipment of gold so
large, it doesn't bear thinking of.
My wife and daughters
think I'm a simpleton.
And they're probably right.
Nah. You ain't that to me, Eddie.
You're the dearest man I know.
I have to return to Whitehall
to resign in disgrace.
Don't you dare leave me for that
freezing misery of a country.
You're my one bright spot.
Anyway, they'll probably find the gold.
It's a small colony. Someone
will splash shigs around.
Just don't talk of
leaving, Eddie, please.
LADY JANE: We'll need
to watch your waist.
If it thickens,
I'll find an excuse for you to visit
your uncle in India for nine months.
As long as nobody knows,
we might be able to
salvage your reputation
You don't understand.
You're not dying.
But you are being ruined
and taken for a fool.
Mother.
My aorta is swelling. Mmm?
Unless I have this surgery, it will
rupture and I will bleed to death.
Stop it! Just stop it!
I won't let you hurt
yourself with that man.
Then you'll get me killed.
That's the rough end
of the feather, that is.
No doubt about it.
It's impossible.
I can't see how to save her.
You see, I have an
inkling of how that feels.
Well, look at this pie.
It's tasty, salty, bit of gristle,
but otherwise, full of gravy.
I'll enjoy it, it'll fill me
heart, but then, it'll be gone.
And I will take comfort
knowing that just around the
corner will be another pie.
You're seriously comparing the
woman I love to one of Rotty's pies?
Look.
There are times in this life
when we have to face the
loss of something so precious,
it makes the heart clench
just to think of it.
Love's frail, Dodge, it don't
last. Especially not in our world.
That's what gives it its pain.
And it's also what gives it its shine
because in the flickering
of a glim, it's gone.
I'm sorry, Dodge. Truly.
OLIVER: Seriously, what type of
security do you call this, Gaines?
This is just bloody incompetence!
Just steady on, Twist.
Now, how bad is it, really?
- It's catastrophic, sir.
- Oh, Christ.
Let's not tell my
- Ah, darling.
- I need to speak with you, now.
Yes. Likewise.
Do you remember when I lost that
prized hunting dog back in Hampshire?
This is very similar.
LADY JANE: Hasten to the point.
- GAINES: The gold is gone.
- Gone?
Gone where?
Who knows where these
things go, darling.
There was a break-in during
the festivities last night.
So, the gold to mint for
the colony's new currency
has gone from under our roof?
This constant barrage of
mediocrity is exhausting!
Mr. Twist, as the Bank's man,
I'll assume you'll return to
London and take responsibility?
Well, I mean, that is to say
Very good, Mr. Twist, we accept.
Now, darling, may I have a word?
Just a dashed and salted minute.
I can't let Twist face the music.
I'm the bally Governor, I
need to return to England
Absolutely not! Mr. Twist
offered and he'll go.
I'm not actually sure I
I'll I'll pack.
Redress this, Gaines.
Find the gold and I'll make you a Major.
Might I say, it's good to have a
firm hand on the tiller, milady.
Our daughter has lost her senses.
Dawkins has convinced her that
she has some appalling illness.
Now, now, calm down, Jane.
I told her it's ridiculous.
- Well
- Well, what?
Well, I've often found that
the mad officer's turned
out to be right under fire.
And you did say he was rather good.
You're incredibly unhelpful.
- (WATCH TICKING)
- This is a waste of my very limited time.
Your mother asked for a full
examination. So, here we are.
Good news.
- You have a very treatable ulcer.
- Nonsense.
I have an expansive mass and a bruit.
My aorta is whooshing. Listen.
Please.
(HEART THROBBING)
Inconclusive.
You're an intelligent man.
Why are you being a coward?
I am a qualified doctor
with years of experience
and a degree from Oxford.
It's an ulcer.
To be a man, to not have
to beg a lesser mind,
to, "Please, sir, can you save my life?"
Try and get some rest.
And I'll consider this outburst an
emotional response to a trying day.
So, are you feeling better?
'Cause I wouldn't want
anything to happen.
Because I couldn't live with that.
(SOBS) I just couldn't.
She needs bed rest
for the ulcer to heal.
And this aneurysm, is
there anything in it?
Dawkins seems to think
it might be rather bad.
Yes, it would be, if it was.
But in my clinical opinion, your
daughter has a curable ulcer,
and Dawkins has a great
flair for the dramatic.
My concern is that Belle may
take matters into her own hands.
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
HETTY: Mrs. Patchet's
cough is worsening,
so Tim's made her a concoction.
TIM: Just do her a bit of
bushmeat, good for the chest.
Mr. Teignbridge needs
his wound dressing.
And Mr. Uttlesford's grown horns.
Big green ones, came on overnight.
- Hmm. Very good.
- Jack!
No hard feelings, Dawkins.
Belle just felt there was
a man of better quality.
And I'll need your patient list
for the handover. When you can.
Stop!
Describe her condition to me.
Sounds like a perforated ulcer.
"Perforated ulcer."
You stupid bloody toff!
- She has an aortic aneurysm!
- SNEED: Not possible.
If you could read the
medical literature,
you'd find no cases in
a patient of her age.
Sod the literature. Observe the patient!
From which I hear, you've been doing
quite a bit of observing lately.
ALISTAIR: Dr. Dawkins, unhand Dr. Sneed!
There'll be no more duels.
I know you admire Lady Belle,
but we medical men need
to keep our dignity.
As a young student, I worked with
a great man of guise in London.
He pioneered one of the best
I do not have time for your stories!
So, you really haven't
got the gold, Fagin?
With the greatest respect, Rotty,
do you think I would be
hanging around here if I had?
(RED CHUCKLES)
You don't see it, do ya?
Jack swindled you.
(SCOFFS) Dodger?
He's got access because
he's scrumping Moneybags,
and he needs cash to join her world.
Well, if he did, he did.
It's a rat-eat-rat world.
And I've always taught him
to look after number one.
Of course, you might just be
shifting suspicion away from yourself.
You have got something of a reputation
for grabbing the shigs before a
decent thief can get a look in.
Do you think I'd be asking for
it if I'd stolen it, you turnip?
I don't know, you're very crafty!
Just pack it in, you
two! Just pack it in!
It's someone who knows the
comings and goings of the port.
When the gold's arriving,
when it's leaving.
BOTH: Darius!
Morning, Bill.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
Fagin.
Well, butter my parsnips.
How royally good to see you.
I'm almost proud of you, my dear.
You connived this right
from the start, didn't you?
Isn't it scrumptious?
You know, I always thought you was
a whiny, mealy, flowerpot of a kid
with nothing in your head but
snot, but I have underestimated you.
I think back on my time with you
and the Dodge with such fondness,
that I do really see this as a tribute.
You awakened something dark
and glorious in me, Fagin.
My passion, my genius for crime.
A good master will do
that for his apprentice.
You see, the only dung
beetle in the butter
is that Captain Gaines is itching to
scrag someone for all this purloinary,
and I just as soon it not be me.
So, I might be pushed and I
never want to, I assure you,
but I might just be pushed
to drop a little word
about all your perfidious escapades.
We're not playing by
Clerkenwell rules anymore.
Before I left London, I found these
lovely memories. (CLEARS THROAT)
The Crown v. Jack Dawkins.
Fifteen years for theft.
Prisoner escape report for Jack Dawkins.
Death warrant for Jack Dawkins.
So, if you'd like to
whisper about me to Gaines,
then, well, I'd have to
pass these memories on.
As you say, "Always
look out for number one."
It's a goodly motto.
One I hold to.
Though, I suspect
it'll see you in Beelzebub's
clutches come the end of things.
God rot you, Oliver Twist.
I hope the Devil chews your bones.
Oh, no, Fagin. God wouldn't
do that to an Eton man.
(DARIUS SCREAMS)
Fagin! You
You scream again, I will cut out
your tongue and feed it to the cat.
Now, I want to know everything about
your rank dealings with Mr. Twist.
Nah!
Aputi, old mate, I was a
good employer, wasn't I?
- Not really.
- (DARIUS SCREAMS)
(MUFFLED SCREAMS ECHOING)
Where's Jack? He
wouldn't let this happen!
No, Jack's not around.
But Aputi here has the
makings of a fine surgeon.
- He just needs some practice.
- One hand or two?
- It's your choice, my friend.
- Thank you.
I think two.
No! Stop!
He's switching ships.
- Where's he going?
- Tahiti.
Not London. The gold
would never make it.
FAGIN: Obviously. I'd
worked that one out.
And I presume you're being paid
not to inspect Lady Fanny's luggage.
Yeah. Just wave it on through.
Thank you.
Oi! Fagin, you have to let me go.
I gave you everything you need!
I'm not sure it works like that.
I'm gonna leave you in the capable hands
of my colleague,
Aputi, to stitch you up.
(GRUNTS)
ALISTAIR: I was a young man
about town with all the trappings.
But not the wherewithal to
clad myself as I'd have liked.
And Astley Cooper let me know that.
He was very particular about shirts.
- Astley Cooper?
- Yes.
"Oh, McGregor," he'd say, "Wearing
a cheap shirt again today"?
Sorry, sir. The man you worked with
You worked with Sir Astley Cooper?
You weren't interested in
my story before, Dawkins.
I'm sorry, sir.
- Did you happen to see the
- Operation on the aortic ane?
- Yes.
- Could you tell me about it?
Sit down, Dr. Dawkins.
- Port?
- DODGER: No. Thank you.
Do you have any clinical notes?
Oh, God. Somewhere.
No matter, I remember it clearly.
It was rainy that day
and I'd forgotten my coat
and Cooper said I look
like a drowned rat.
He was a brilliant bastard.
The surgery, sir. How did he do it?
The challenge is to tie the ligation
tight enough to fix the aneurysm,
but loose enough to sustain
blood flow through the body.
What's he been drinking?
The old Parsons.
Old That'll knock out a bloody whale.
(OBJECTS RUSTLING)
(GASPS) Mother of God!
Sir.
What was the ligation?
How did he tie it?
What was that you gave me,
Dawkins? It's quite moreish.
Please, sir, try to remember.
What was Cooper's solution?
He didn't have one. Patient died.
Bloody awful mess.
"Principle challenges to "
What?
Here, he goes on about a lovely
Sauternes he drank in 1817.
After that?
Something about a duck pâté.
Oh. "The spinal cord and the aorta.
It's extremely dangerous if you "
Some muck all over it.
I think it's the pâté.
And the rest is all in Latin.
For God's sake!
You love her, don't you?
Then I can see why you
wouldn't want to do it.
I will kill her.
What if she dies and you don't try?
How is any of this fair?
Fair?
You've never really
loved anyone, have you?
You peel the skin off your
heart and it always hurts.
No matter what you do.
Thank you, Hetty.
- (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
- (SIGHS)
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- FANNY: Belle?
Belle, are you all right?
- (BANGING)
- BELLE: Splendid!
Would it cheer you to hear of
my love for Mr. Oliver Twist?
BELLE: Go away!
Belle, just let me in.
BELLE: If it were that simple,
I'd be letting myself out.
No, I mean, emotionally.
BELLE: You think I'm a madwoman, too?
FANNY: No. You're the most
brilliant person I know.
Although quite rude.
And if you think you have
this, then I believe you.
And I'm scared because I do love you so.
Even if you find me a bit annoying.
Fanny?
I need your help.
- (PANTING)
- Milady. Milady?
Thank you.
I feel quite fine now.
Take your hands off me. I'm affianced.
CROOKY: It was
magnificent, Brother Fagin.
I witnessed her ascend unto
the heavens with the relic.
Thank you. You've restored my faith.
- (COUGHS)
- Well, it's what I do, it's what I do.
That's a terrible cough you got
there. That's very likely her curse.
Curse?
These visions, they don't come for free.
There are terms.
If you don't make a pilgrimage
within good time of sighting her,
the saint is very likely to
strike you down with her curse.
What did they teach you in seminary?
- (COUGHS)
- I mean, it's not the worst curse.
It's not demons out of your
bunghole, it's more like this.
You know, your racking
cough, your itching boils,
and perhaps worst of all,
most indecorous for a
man of the cloth, worms.
They'll crawl out your gut
and out through your nose.
I suppose that is quite a bad one.
What must I do?
Guide me, Brother, in
the way of Her Holiness.
Well, I presume you've spoken
of her to your congregation?
- Yeah.
- Yes, I thought so.
I noticed some of your flock gathering
for a pilgrimage this afternoon.
You know, you are the bishop of
their hearts, if not in actuality.
So I think you ought to be leading 'em.
Yes. A pilgrimage.
Bless you, Brother Fagin,
you righteous man of God.
FAGIN: Yes, He has taken
quite a shine to me.
Have you got any more of these?
Yes. (CHUCKLES)
Jack.
If you think it can be done and it
is what you want, then I will try.
For you.
You can read Prof's notes.
Yes. Yes.
Disagree with that.
That's just plainly
wrong. I don't need these.
Found it from First Principles.
What's important is to
get the hand positions.
- Cut into the linea alba.
- All right. I've got that far.
Good. Now,
make a small aperture
into the peritoneum,
insert your finger into the abdomen.
Pass your finger between
the intestines to the spine.
And now, push the needle
with the ligature behind it.
So, just shove a needle
through your entire body
without piercing anything.
Take care not to nick the aorta
- I can't.
- or break the spinal cord.
I can't do this blindly.
I will paralyse you or I will kill you.
No, it's doable. Watch.
There. Ligation's tied.
No damage to the aorta
or the spinal cord.
Assuming that I can do this, how
do I tie it tight enough to fix it,
but not so tightly, it cuts
your circulation off completely?
We'll fill the aorta with water and try.
Come on, we are so close.
Move. Clamped. Jack!
Jack!
- Belle. Please, Belle, stop.
- No!
- Stop. It doesn't work.
- No.
It doesn't work.
- I'm so sorry.
- (GASPS)
FANNY: With those, thank you.
And those over there, please.
Poppy, no, put that down, please.
Can you put that there?
Thank you very much.
And where are the umbrellas?
No, don't touch that.
Just there. Thank you.
Where is the chest with my jewellery?
Oh, my God. What happened?
It's all right. It's someone else's.
Did you do a murder? Is
that why I broke you out?
This will seem like cruelty, my darling,
but I promise you, it's care.
Don't bother locking it.
I'm not going anywhere.
(GASPING)
(CLOCK TICKING)
I think we should have damasks
for the tables. Don't you?
- Hmm?
- Damasks for the tables, of course.
Wouldn't that be lovely?
Now would be a good
and holy time, Father.
Forward, pilgrims!
Bless you in the name of St. Coccyx.
She felt the popes to make you whole.
And for God's sake,
did we sinners look up.
Oli Popkins, the dear rustics
are blessing our engagement!
Bless you.
Bless you, in the name of St. Coccyx
Moving on now.
and made them whole and blessed
OLIVER: Driver!
CROOKY: Bless you.
Bless you.
Belle, I've had an idea.
(BREATHING RAGGEDLY)
- Drive. Fast.
- (GUN CLICKS)
Hetty! Prepare the surgery!
Catgut, ether! Carbolic acid, now!
(BELLE WHIMPERING)
- I love you.
- (BELLE WHIMPERS)
(BELLE GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(BOTTLE SPRAYING)
(GRUNTS AND BREATHES HEAVILY)
LADY JANE: Stop!
Don't you dare! (GASPS)
If I stop now, she dies.
Rainsford, step in!
- You must let him finish, madam.
- No, you do it, Rainsford!
- You do it!
- Let Dawkins work.
- It's the only way to save her.
- GOVERNOR: Let him, Jane.
If she dies, you die.
Do you understand?
Retractors, now. Move.
Hetty, catgut. Quickly!
OLIVER: No!
No! No!
Where is it?
No! No!
In the safe?
I need you to look after it
while I run a little errand.
Right, Redfordshire. If this is
to be done, let's have it done.
Charlie?
Fetch the Governor. I got
something that belongs to him.
She's losing too much blood.
Forceps.
Hook.
(HEART BEATING)
Scissors.
Tighter. Tighter.
- (BREATHING HEAVILY) We got it.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
Stitching.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Belle?
Belle?
Belle Come on, wake up.
Wake up, Belle!
Please!
- Unhand me! Belle!
- You finished the stitching.
Allow me, milady, it's all in hand.
Hetty, is she breathing?
- Lady Belle.
- Is she breathing?
Is she breathing?
Lady Belle?
- Belle?
- Will she live?
I don't know yet.
But you just sent the best surgeon
I've ever seen to his death.
Lady Belle?
Please.
Lady Belle.
Please, at least let
me see that she lives.
I don't think you have
enough time on Earth for that.
Mr. Fagin!
You said you'd deliver him at 6:00,
but as you see, I've had
to do half the work myself.
You bastard!
I said red-handed. Where's my evidence?
DODGER: I trusted you!
Papers from London proving
he's an escaped convict.
There's a death warrant in there.
Signed. No need for a trial.
I didn't think you had it in you.
Fagin, look at me.
- His papers for my pardon.
- DODGER: Look at me!
Sorry, Dodge.
It was you or me.
Like I always said,
it's about number one.
And you was always my number one.
Her name is Keira.
You tried to hang us both.
Enjoy your hell.
"Some consider me as innately cruel
but I simply see this as a
necessary part of justice."
(GAINES GROANS)
Please, help me, Dawkins.
You can save me.
I don't want to die.
I told you I'd never
give you up. Come on.
- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
- There he is!
They're coming. Run, run!
You have yourself a life.
- Go!
- REDCOAT: Got 'em!
Come and get me, you red bastards!
Oh, Lord, our God, our
strength and our salvation.
Bless her, Lord, and protect her
from all the perils of the night.
Let her wounds with
your ever-loving care.
End her suffering.
Restore her light.
BELLE: Jack.
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, that went smoothly.
I told you to leg it. It's the
one noble thing I've ever done.
Yeah, that was quite
impressive, actually.
What got into you?
I had to see if she was alive.
Ah. Fancy skirt.
- Are you all right?
- Oh, couldn't be happier.
We pulled it off.
For 23 minutes, Norbert Fagin
was the richest man in England.
Maybe in the world. Not
many can say that, Dodge.
No, but we are also now in prison.
Don't blame me this time, I
was trying to keep you out.
The murder aspect of your plan
worked against you, didn't it?
That's hurtful.
I did that for you.
Yeah, I know you did.
- Thank you, Fagin.
- Piss off.
I suppose we just rot here
until they send us the
next Gaines to hang us.
I shouldn't have thought so.
After I give the guard
this little pardon,
I'm a free man
of some means.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Assuming they don't scrag you,
I'm pleased to say,
I'm appointing you my
new convict servant.
No.
I see untapped potential.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)