The Decameron (2024) s01e08 Episode Script
We’ve Had a Good Cry
1
[opening theme music playing]
[music fades]
[birds chirping]
[Sirisco] Okay, so were you watching?
We were playing a game.
I say, "I'm the pig."
- You say
- [all] Don't touch his egg!
- [Sirisco] Yes, yes.
- [all] Don't touch his egg.
Louder, peasants.
- With more energy.
- Could be louder.
- It's really fun once you get it.
- Yeah.
Play it right,
and stay within the boundaries.
[Stratilia] No, come on. Here.
Arriguccio, I think you should be the pig.
- [Misia] Yeah!
- Yes.
- No. It's a kind offer, Stratilia, but I
- [Sirisco] Come on.
Arriguccio, pig time!
- Arrigooch, you are gonna love this!
- [whimsical music playing]
This is right up your alley.
Here, take the egg. And now, go!
- Uh, I'm the pig.
- [Misia] Don't touch his egg!
- His egg!
- Don't touch his egg!
Arriguccio, you're doin' it wrong.
I'll show you how.
You have to snort, you see.
And you have to chase us.
[Misia snorting]
[all giggling, laughing]
You're gonna get my little egg
because I'm the pig!
[all] Don't touch her egg!
You're not gonna catch me!
[Misia] Eggy!
You're gonna get my little eggy!
- You're not gonna catch me!
- [Misia] You're going to get the egg!
[Filomena] Oh. [gasping]
- I'm the pig!
- Don't touch her egg!
- I'm the pig!
- [all] Don't touch her egg!
- [banging on door]
- [man] Hello!
[Tindaro] It's the mercenaries!
[all clamoring]
[tense music playing]
- [Arriguccio] Grab your shields.
- Soldiers, tighten up.
The gift of this villa comes with a trial,
but it is a trial we can win.
Yeah.
These mercenaries believe this villa
to be fortified and guarded.
We are fortified. We are guarded.
- Yes.
- We are a collection of idiots.
And much else stands in our favor,
atop this hill, with a trusted gate,
steep walls with water and food aplenty,
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
[Misia shouting]
[Tindaro] I believe that we can hold out
for as long as
five years.
- Oh, five years!
- Yeah!
With limited cannibalism, six.
And they'll leave and hunt
for easier prey long before then.
[banging on door]
- Oh God.
- Men, take up your weapons.
Signor Tindaro,
my spear is purely decorative.
It looks good.
[sighing] Oh God. It's Licisca.
Let her in.
[music fades]
[man exclaiming]
[Tindaro] Take it.
[Tindaro groaning]
Have you seen the mercenaries?
How many are there?
Ouch!
Have you have you seen Pampinea?
[door closing]
Licisca, wait!
Licisca, stop.
- Licisca.
- Get away, please.
[Filomena] Where are you going?
[Licisca] Out the whore door,
if you must know.
They're already at the gate.
Yeah, but Tindaro says
that we can wait them out.
Oh, what, the military genius?
Well, he's wrong. But best of luck to ya.
Okay. Okay.
I'm terrible. But
I'm getting better, aren't I?
- And I'm your sister.
- [Licisca scoffing]
Yeah, okay, I know
that didn't use to mean anything,
but it does now. Just
give me a chance.
I have had, in my whole life,
two days away from you.
The day when I pushed you off a bridge,
and the next day when I came here,
and and boys liked me,
and I did what I wanted,
and everybody treated me
like a human being.
And then, there you are at the door,
dragging me back into servitude.
I should not have pushed you
off that bridge.
I should have cut off your fucking head.
[Filomena] No, but just wait.
Living here with you has changed me.
Misia has changed me
Even if you did change,
even if your little crush on Misia
It's not a crush.
I love her.
[Filomena's breath shuddering]
I'd like to see you
love anyone that isn't you.
[dramatic music playing]
- [object clanking]
- [Licisca] Ow. Ow.
Dear Lord. No, no, no, no, no.
[rats squeaking]
[music fades]
Licisca says they're at the gates.
- This is a problem.
- No, no, no, no, no.
That gate has stood for over 200 years.
We have plenty of time to boil the oil.
[sinister music playing]
- [men shouting indistinctly]
- [horses neighing]
[horse neighing]
[men shouting indistinctly]
They've breached the gate!
- Sirisco!
- No, no, no, no!
[Tindaro] There.
There.
[Sirisco] Oh my God.
There must be 30 of them.
And they're tall.
Okay!
We're going for secondary positions
and cold oil!
Cold oil!
- [Misia groaning]
- Here.
[Misia squealing]
I didn't know you were so mighty.
Thank you.
[all clamoring]
[suspenseful music swelling]
Look at us. It's just like I dreamed.
[Tindaro panting]
[horse whinnying]
Knock, knock, friends!
- No.
- Oh my God.
No. What the fuck?
Friends?
I was having so much fun!
- [Filomena] Calm down.
- [Pampinea] Friends!
I have some good news.
I struck a bargain
with this gentleman and his comrades.
He's quite reasonable
despite his rough exterior.
You may enter under flag of truce!
- No! What?
- Why?
Lay down your weapons and wait in silence
What the fuck?
while we lower our ferocious defenses.
Okay, sounds good.
Everyone lower their defenses.
- Lower your defenses.
- No, she's gonna kill me.
[Sirisco groaning]
- Lower your defenses!
- [Sirisco] Put that down!
Put it on the ground! On the ground!
- Now it's down.
- Put that down!
- Happy?
- [Misia] She's gonna
[Licisca panting]
[quietly] Shit.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Licisca] Oh fuck.
[Tindaro] Everybody, get ready.
Calandrino, to the door.
[music fades]
[Misia] Okay, why are you so strong?
[door slamming]
[liquid sloshing]
[tense music playing]
Go ahead, dear Calandrino.
[Panfilo sighing]
Finally. [chuckling, clearing throat]
Sirisco.
Tindaro.
Everyone.
Hi.
This is the general
of the Disciples of Order.
His name is Eric,
which is so funny.
[music fades]
[whimpering] He's he's from Gaul.
Anyway, I happened to run into him,
and I thought,
"Hey, I can help my friends."
All we need,
literally, all they're asking for,
is my dowry.
[Sirisco] Oh.
So you'll tell us where you hid it?
Right. To be completely honest,
when I was kicked out,
I had my dowry with me, so
What? How?
[Pampinea] Not important.
The point is, Licisca took it from me.
If she hands it over now,
we will all be fine.
See? Money solves everything.
Licisca?
[bag rustling]
[Pampinea chuckling]
How's your eye?
- My love.
- I can't find Jacopo anywhere.
What?
He'll be fine. He's a beast.
- I'm sorry, is that my dress?
- It's mine now.
- She looks amazing.
- Thank you.
- You're a phoenix.
- All right.
[jewelry clattering]
[Pampinea clearing throat]
[Pampinea] Hmm. Nice, yes?
Yeah, okay.
So, uh, just tell them
that they have to forgive me
and let me keep the villa.
[tense music playing]
[Pampinea] Eric, thank you.
Just mention the villa is mine now,
and we can say our goodbyes.
I believed Villa Santa
to have many defenders.
I believed you to be strong.
I'm ending our bargain,
and I'm claiming this villa for my order.
My men will gather the riches
that have spoiled your souls,
and then they'll kill you all.
- [Misia gasping]
- Okay, Eric. Eric. Eric!
[Pampinea chuckling]
- [Pampinea] That's not what we agreed to.
- No, it isn't.
Unleash hell!
[Pampinea screaming]
- [dramatic music playing]
- [all screaming]
[woman yelling]
[gasping]
[Eric chuckling]
Arriguccio! No!
[Jacopo yelling]
- No!
- Jacopo!
This is my villa, not yours!
- Jacopo, get back!
- Wait.
- Get back. You're my best friend.
- Come here.
Hey, you're not supposed to have that!
Face me!
Face Medusa's glare!
[suspenseful music swelling]
[Tindaro yelling]
- [Jacopo] No!
- [all screaming]
No!
[dramatic music playing]
[all gasping]
This cuirass may be a forgery.
[sword scraping]
[Calandrino yelling]
[groaning]
- Calandrino!
- Jesus!
[squelching]
Hold my wine.
[intense suspenseful music playing]
[both grunting]
You will die!
- [all yelping]
- [Eric gasping]
- [all gasping]
- [Arriguccio] Oh God.
[Licisca exclaiming]
[music fades]
What? No applause? [chuckling]
[all applauding]
- [Panfilo] That was fantastic.
- [Licisca] Yes!
[Stratilia] That was fantastic.
[Licisca whooping]
We did it.
- [Licisca] Yeah!
- Oh, we did.
- That was amazing.
- Thank you.
Hurrah!
[Tindaro] Am I dead?
[Pampinea chuckling]
You have to admit, I
I did try my honest best
to help, didn't I?
[blade clanging]
[Tindaro] What's going on? Ouch.
You slipped her that dowry, didn't you?
Didn't you?
What was I meant to do,
just let her starve?
It's her it's her dowry.
I thought you'd understand that
as a rich girl.
She made you kill someone.
Guys, you heard her.
She made a deal to save all of our lives.
- She's a smart lady
- She is so deep in your brain.
You will never stop loving her, will you?
Licisca hates me.
You should hate Pampinea.
Why don't you hate Pampinea?
You've spent about a month as a servant,
and you think you are so changed.
Yet, no.
You only see one side
of a person at a time.
No history baked in.
Love has more than one dimension.
Love has long claws.
[emotional music playing]
But I guess that you wouldn't understand
anything about that, would you?
[Misia sniffling]
Okay, enough of women talking.
We need to summit with the enemy.
- [Stratilia] No, no, no.
- What's left of them.
- Shush.
- No, I'm ready.
- Stop it.
- [Tindaro] I'm battle-ready.
Stop talking.
[Tindaro] You are amazing.
You're a soldier.
- Stop talking.
- [Tindaro] Look at us. I'm ready for more.
[Tindaro panting]
Later, we should make love.
- Would you stop it?
- [Tindaro] No, everybody knows now.
[music fades]
[birds chirping]
[door creaking]
[Sirisco vocalizing trumpet]
I forgot the trumpet.
[Panfilo chuckling]
Attention, mercenaries.
Please listen.
You are all operating
out of greed and malice,
but I have good news.
You can unburden yourselves today.
There is no need to fight.
We are all equals
on this beautiful planet.
Eric is dead!
I shanked him.
And you shall receive
the same treatment if you stay.
Stab. Stab. Stabby. Stabby.
Stabby. Stabby.
- Stab.
- [Tindaro] Mercenaries!
I, Tindaro,
buy your services with this.
[Tindaro grunting]
[Tindaro] Your first task
is to obey every order
from the rightful owner
of this villa, Stratilia.
She shall be your queen.
Stratilia, come hither
and let them witness your beauty.
Witness her beauty.
Go away.
- I said, go away.
- Go away!
- You cannot defeat us.
- Yeah!
[suspenseful music playing]
Kill them!
[men shouting]
[Sirisco yelling]
[Tindaro grunting]
[Tindaro panting]
They're thinking about it.
Are you all right?
Yeah.
I feel great, thanks.
I believe the blade just nicked my lung,
so I expect I'll be fine in the morning.
I have two lungs.
Why are you laughing?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I don't
- [banging on door]
- [men shouting]
[man] Come on!
More!
Come on, you bastards!
[men straining]
[Tindaro] The battering ram,
an infamous tool of warfare.
[banging on door]
Or perhaps they have a giant.
- [man] Nearly there!
- Our efforts have been in vain.
Friends,
many military leaders throughout history
have been honored to deliver this message
that I am about to deliver to you.
- [man] Victory.
- [man 2] We did it.
- Almost there.
- We are all going to die.
- [Sirisco quietly] No.
- [banging on door]
I remind you that prayers
are rarely effective,
and often, in fact, anger the Fates,
who worked very hard to arrange
interesting deaths for people.
Retreat is our only option.
Let us hide downstairs,
while they pillage our noble riches,
and eke out
what few minutes remain of life.
Together, we courageously flee.
[man] One, two, three!
- [Licisca] Panfilo?
- Yes, dear?
- What are you doing?
- I wanna stay here and watch it happen.
- Aren't you scared?
- Do I look scared?
Am I falling in love with you?
[banging on door]
[Licisca gasping]
[man] I need a break.
[Licisca groaning]
[both breathing heavily]
It would never work. I'm married.
[banging on door]
- Okay. [chuckling]
- Okay.
Stratilia, that way.
- Here, this way.
- What?
That way.
This way.
[all clamoring]
[old man] Hurry.
[banging on door]
[Filomena shuddering, breathing heavily]
[banging on door]
[Pampinea] Licisca or Filomena?
[screaming] Oh my God.
You're small
like a snake.
[Pampinea] Oh, thank you.
My mother could fit her body
onto our Annunciation Day platter.
God rest her soul. Filomena!
What?
I'm sorry I didn't believe you
when you told me you weren't a servant.
I see it now, of course.
It's actually quite obvious.
You've got a certain beauty, don't you?
Something a servant just couldn't manage.
Oh.
Like Misia?
Exactly! [chuckling]
[Pampinea gasping]
- [Filomena yelling]
- [Pampinea grunting]
You know, we can help each other.
Filomena!
Stop!
I have fecal gems.
[Filomena roaring]
[both grunting]
Ladies, ladies, ladies, stop!
Stop!
Oh thank God. Just who I needed most.
[Pampinea's breath shuddering]
[Pampinea sighing]
[somber music playing]
[banging on door]
[Filomena exhaling]
[banging on door]
[Filomena sniffling]
[Stratilia panting]
We could have left. We had a chance.
Take comfort in this.
Jacopo is a strapping lad,
and they may hire him as a child soldier,
should he be orphaned.
Thanks.
I was the one that thought
those hopeless peasants could defend us.
- It was I that led us astray.
- [Stratilia] We were leaving.
But I turned back
to claim the villa for my son.
- What arrogance.
- It was not arrogance. It was justice.
Justice. The villa is his.
You can't blame yourself when monsters
arrive by chance to steal it.
It infuriates me that you think
you have made any mistake at all.
- I failed my son.
- [Tindaro] No.
You have given him everything.
And love most of all.
He is blessed.
You understand that, Jacopo?
You're blessed.
Hey, here.
Stand up. Take this. Come on, put this on.
[Tindaro groaning]
[Tindaro] Help him put it on.
You're the general now. There you go.
Actually, it looks ridiculous.
Take it off.
You don't need it. You're fine without it.
- Okay?
- [banging on door]
[all breathing heavily]
[Tindaro wincing]
[men shouting indistinctly]
[sinister music playing]
[monk] Oh.
It's not plague, it's a knife wound.
You can never be sure.
Search the rooms.
Gather everything of value.
Kill anyone you meet.
They're sinners.
[men clamoring]
[music fades]
I'm so relieved to see you, Misia.
I'm so relieved
you'll have me see you, viscontessa.
- I was so worried you hated me.
- Oh, I could never do that.
So Filomena, huh? She's
She's pretty.
Yeah, she is.
You're close?
Yeah, I hope so.
[Pampinea retching]
Are you okay, viscontessa?
I ate something
that isn't agreeing with me.
[objects clattering]
Go, go, go, go, go.
Ah, he didn't just love bees,
he respected them.
Oh, Calandrino was a wonderful man.
That's why I was looking forward
to you becoming friends.
You were gonna bring him out of his shell.
[chuckling, screaming]
- Damn these men! God!
- [Arriguccio shushing]
They might hear us.
I don't care. I don't care.
Because we are going to figure out
a way to beat them right now.
Let's think of some ideas. Ideas.
Come, think, think. Who has some ideas?
- One idea might be that we surrender.
- Let's not start with that.
[Arriguccio] What choice do we have?
We all want to live,
in our own funny little way.
It is better to die, Arriguccio,
than lick their boots.
No more bootlicking!
Sirisco, we've not survived this long
because of pride.
[Sirisco] Hmm.
Well, perhaps it's time
you gave pride a chance, friend.
All right. Who's got some ideas?
[clapping]
Who's got some ideas? Ideas. Come.
[man] Well, maybe we can lure them.
Oh. We could lure them somewhere.
That's good. That's a great start. Yes!
More. Let's keep going. Keep going. Yes.
We pretend to be dead,
and then we stab them.
[Sirisco gapsing]
That! Now that's going
towards a good place.
Sit, sit, sit.
Now, let me see your dead faces.
Everybody, play dead. Play dead.
Everybody, play dead. Yes.
Okay. No, no, no.
Let's not do that. Bad idea. Bad idea.
We were getting somewhere.
We can do this together!
We could pretend to be monsters.
What?
[whimsical music playing]
[men chattering indistinctly]
[objects clattering]
[man] Take a man with you.
What is he doing?
[Licisca] Oh yeah.
They're terrified of the plague.
I don't love it myself. [chuckling]
[Licisca] Neifile was my favorite.
She was fun.
Oh, she was great fun.
Then she died.
Not so fun anymore. [chuckling]
Is this grief?
Either freedom or insanity.
Either way, it is something
profoundly felt by me. [chuckling]
[Licisca chuckling quietly]
- [Panfilo snorting]
- [Licisca shushing]
I feel quite free myself.
Unattached.
[Panfilo] Yes. It makes sense.
We're about to die.
Makes you want to lean your chin in
for that final punch.
Hmm?
[helmet clanging]
[Panfilo chortling]
Do you wanna die?
Don't you wanna be free?
What's here for you anyway?
[Panfilo chuckling]
[tense music playing]
[door rattling]
- [door banging]
- [objects breaking]
[door banging, breaking]
[door creaking]
[footsteps approaching]
No!
[Filomena] Let go!
[man] Oh yeah, enough with the riches.
- [Filomena] No!
- [man] Where are the ladies?
- Was that Filomena?
- [Panfilo] Sounds like it.
What? Are you expecting her to live?
[Panfilo crunching]
- I hadn't really thought about it.
- Well, don't start now, darling.
Yeah.
- [man 2] What you got here?
- [man 3] It's a pig.
[Filomena screaming]
- Could you help me get down there?
- At your service, Padrona.
Though
you could just leave.
[Licisca] There's no one guarding
the door.
You wanna leave this place, right?
Free yourself of her.
Go be a lady.
Or a whore.
Or a street clown.
Or anybody you want.
In the end,
love is burden.
I'm going to save her.
I understand.
[contemplative music playing]
When did Panfilo get awesome?
[man] Come in.
[man] Can't you see? There's no point
I'm the pig!
Yes!
Don't touch my egg!
Don't touch it! Piggy.
Where is the piggy?
Where's the piggy?
[men clamoring]
[Panfilo] One for you. I'm the pig!
Don't touch my egg.
Love is a burden.
One for him and one for him.
[Panfilo laughing]
Help me!
Help! Help!
[Filomena screaming]
Help me!
Help!
[Licisca roaring]
[Filomena gasping, whimpering]
Licisca, you saved me again.
Yeah, you dumb bitch.
Love's got long claws.
[Filomena crying]
[weakly] I think this might indeed
be it for me.
[Tindaro exhaling]
Tindaro?
Yeah?
We have been through so much
these last days.
You don't love me.
Your love is not required by my love.
You know nothing about me.
- [Tindaro] I know you better than most.
- Perhaps, but
[Tindaro] I know
that you have been given little
and had much taken away.
Is that true?
Yes.
I only ask
that you let me give you what I can,
what I have.
It isn't much now,
but do me the honor.
- This necklace belonged
- [Stratilia] We'll take it.
Great.
Jacopo
it was nice being your friend.
Although, in my secret heart,
I wished that one day
you might come to see me as a father.
Would you actually do that?
Would you
would you think of me as a father?
[mouthing] Yes.
Yes.
[Tindaro exhaling slowly]
[dramatic music playing]
[gasping] Oh my God,
I really thought I was gonna go.
[Tindaro panting]
How are you supposed to tell
when it's your last breath?
[music fades]
We've been in worse scrapes, my lady.
Remember when your winter hat
knocked over your father's armoire?
[both chuckling]
Oh my goodness.
- He was so angry.
- [Misia] So angry.
You're so right, Misia.
Together, we can do anything.
Anything.
- Misia?
- [Misia] Mm-hmm?
The way you love me, you
you love me no matter what I do.
The greatest gift I've ever known.
It is quite nice of me, isn't it?
I will never let you go
as long as I live.
I've come to know that
that's the truest truth.
[quietly] Yes.
[dramatic music playing]
[Pampinea] Oh, Misia.
[Misia] Mm-hmm?
[Pampinea] Are they coming?
Yes.
Is this it?
Yeah.
I thought you said
you wouldn't leave without Misia.
She made her choice. I can't change her.
- [banging on door]
- [both screaming]
[banging on door]
God, can we please think of an idea
that might actually help? Please?
[Sirisco sighing] Arriguccio.
Oh, you found a sword.
That's helpful. That might be helpful.
[Sirisco chuckling]
You were right.
I I tried to surrender just now
to to a mercenary up the hall.
And wouldn't you know it?
I've been murdered.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh no.
Oh, Sirisco, don't blame yourself.
Although, obviously
No, no, no, no. Please. [sobbing]
[dramatic music swelling]
Please.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
[Misia] Okay, here's the plan.
We are gonna pop you in this barrel,
and I'm going to seal it over,
and they'll never know you're there.
- Okay?
- All right.
- Okay, so watch your feet.
- Okay.
Up, up, up, up, up.
I'm going to swear allegiance
to the men upstairs.
You know, I'm a natural servant.
Oh, yes, you are.
And I'm gonna pretend to be
their servant instead of yours.
And then when all is quiet,
in the dead of nighttime,
I'm going to come down here,
and I'm gonna pop you out.
And me and you
will sneak off home together.
Misia.
Thank you.
[Misia sniffling]
Thank you.
Oh, and maybe at that point,
you'll bring some food?
As I'm sure I'll get hungry in here.
Absolutely, viscontessa.
- Okay.
- [Misia] Okay.
Okay.
Misia?
What would I do without you?
We'll never know.
Now, why don't you sing a wee song
to help soothe yourself and pass the time?
The tulip and the apple tree ♪
Were peaceful in the meadow ♪
- When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
- When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
- There flew a little sparrow ♪
- There flew a little sparrow ♪
- The tulip and the apple tree ♪
- ♪tulip and the ap ♪
- Were peaceful in the meadow ♪
- ♪ful in the meadow ♪
[pensive music playing]
When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
There flew a little sparrow ♪
[Misia humming]
[dramatic music playing]
What will I do without you?
Were peaceful in the meadow ♪
When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
There flew a little sparrow ♪
[dramatic music swelling]
- [music fades]
- [Sirisco sobbing]
[banging on door]
[Sirisco seething]
They can stop us from living here
and they can stop us from leaving here
but they can't stop me
from burning this place to the ground.
I'm gonna burn this place to the ground.
Who's with me? Who's with me?
[dramatic music playing]
No one shall have this villa.
[Sirisco cackling]
No one but our corpses!
Burn!
Burn!
Burn!
Okay. I'll just leave it right here.
Come!
[choir vocalizing]
Oh my God, the cellar's on fire.
[Misia] Mm-hmm.
[Licisca coughing]
[Tindaro yelling]
Are we having a party?
Hey, burning down this place was my idea!
Well, we can't stay here.
[Tindaro] We could take up arms
and fight to the death.
I can lead us into battle.
I'm not really up for that.
Besides, you know, each other
what is actually worth fighting for here?
[Jacopo coughing]
["The Chauffeur" by Duran Duran playing]
[Filomena coughing]
I think I can get you guys
the fuck out of here.
[man] Here you go. Put it down there.
Let's get another lot.
Out on the tar plains
The glides are moving ♪
All looking for a new place to drive ♪
You sit beside me, so newly charming ♪
Sweating dew drops glisten
Freshing your side ♪
And the sun drips down
Bedding heavy behind ♪
The front of your dress
All shadowy lined ♪
And the droning engine throbs in time ♪
With your beating heart ♪
Darling
I need your help.
I can't seem to die without you.
Way down the lane away
Living for another day ♪
The aphids swarm up
In the drifting haze ♪
Swim seagull in the sky
Towards that hollow western isle ♪
My envied lady
Holds you fast in her gaze ♪
And the sun drips down
Bedding heavy behind ♪
The front of your dress
All shadowy lined ♪
And the droning engine ♪
[man] Hey!
With your beating heart ♪
[man yelling, groaning]
- Now, now, now!
- Go!
Go, go, go!
Hurry! Go! Hurry!
[men clamoring]
[Sirisco] Go!
[man] My lord!
[Sirisco] Hurry!
Go, go, go! Hurry!
And watching lovers part, I feel you ♪
Pestilence!
Pestilence!
Retreat! Pestilence!
- [men] Pestilence!
- Brother.
So long, friend.
Pestilence!
- [men] Pestilence!
- Pestilence!
[Tindaro] Stratilia!
Jacopo.
- Pestilence!
- Look after her.
[soldier grunting]
[Tindaro grunting]
Pestilence!
Pestilence!
Archers!
- Pestilence!
- Archers!
[Panfilo grunting]
Okay then.
[Panfilo roaring]
Sing, sing ♪
[Stratilia] Jacopo!
I'll save you!
Jacopo! No!
[both grunting]
The droning engine throbs in time
With your beating heart ♪
And the sun drips down
Bedding heavy behind ♪
The front of your dress
All shadowy lined ♪
The droning engine throbs in time
With your beating heart ♪
[Tindaro grunting]
Sing, Blue Silver ♪
Sing, sing ♪
[men shouting]
[man] Kill them all!
[Panfilo grunting]
[Panfilo grunting]
Come on! Go!
[Panfilo grunting, panting]
[song fades]
[birds chirping]
I thought it would burn down.
Well, it is made of stone.
Idiot.
[Sirisco chuckling]
You remind me of your father.
God. I can't believe we lived, huh?
[Sirisco chuckling]
At the same time, I have to believe it,
or I'd be dead.
New chapter!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I thought we'd go back to your village.
- No, we're gonna find someplace else.
- Should I go with you?
- No.
[Sirisco clearing throat]
Yeah, okay. Bye-bye.
- Hey, Sirisco.
- [Sirisco] Hmm?
[Licisca] Don't be sad.
It's like you said, we we survived.
We did it.
Yeah. We did it. [chuckling]
We did do it.
- We did it.
- [Sirisco] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- [Sirisco] Yeah.
[thunder rumbling]
[all sobbing]
Okay.
We have all had a a good cry.
Come on, let's go.
Up you get.
Up you get.
- Up you get, my dove.
- No.
Up you get, my dove!
[crickets chirping]
[Filomena] Welcome.
This is mine and Licisca's cave.
What's ours is yours, but, uh, make sure
you look out for wicked Vitrucchia.
Who's Vitrucchia?
Oh, she's a night witch.
- Night witch?
- Night witch?
[Filomena] Yeah.
[both chanting] Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
- No, no, no.
- Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
[all] Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
- Vitrucchia!
- Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
- The devil cursed your name
- Vitrucchia!
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia!
[crickets chirping]
[Licisca] Do you think he lived?
Dad?
Yeah.
God, I hope not. He'd be so mad at me.
[Licisca chuckling]
[both laughing]
I think we should find out.
Yeah.
I love you
in spite of myself.
I love you more,
in spite of nothing.
[Stratilia] Can you two shut up?
[both laughing]
[Filomena shushing, snorting]
[both laughing raucously]
So then Giannello mounted Peronella
as a stallion mounts a mare.
He set to work finishing the task at hand.
[Filomena] Misia!
[all laughing]
[Misia] In the end,
Giannello won two prizes that day.
The amorous embrace of the plumber's wife
and a free bathtub
like he'd always dreamed.
- Very good.
- Oh bravo.
[whimsical music playing]
Very good.
Okay, Sirisco, your go.
Ooh. Oh. That's hard to follow.
Tindaro died.
[music fades]
- [cicadas chittering]
- [birds chirping]
Yeah, he did.
So did Panfilo.
It was really nice of Panfilo.
It's sad to die.
Yes, it is.
You can never do anything about it.
The death part or the sad part?
Both.
- You could have an orange.
- [Licisca gasping]
[Sirisco] Ooh.
- There we go. You guys want?
- [Sirisco] Yes.
- Yeah, what else you got?
- Just mainly oranges.
- I'll take an orange.
- Big haul.
- No. I'm just not hungry right now.
- God.
[all laughing]
May I have some of your orange?
[Sirisco exclaiming]
[Filomena] Mmm.
All right, Sirisco. Tell us a happy one.
A happy one?
I thought Misia's was quite happy.
Um, let's see
Uh Ooh, perhaps a love story?
- Would you like a love story?
- Yes.
Ooh, yes.
So some time ago, the villagers of Saluzzo
asked their marquis,
who was a very committed bachelor,
to marry in hopes of producing an heir.
He was not very fond of that idea.
But he agreed under one condition.
That he could choose his wife,
and that the villagers would abide
by whatever the outcome.
So he goes to the village
and he picks the most beautiful woman,
but she was also the poorest.
- Why?
- So
I haven't got there yet.
Sorry.
["This Will Be Our Year"
by the Zombies playing]
The warmth of your love
Is like the warmth of the sun ♪
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come ♪
Don't let go of my hand
Now darkness has gone ♪
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come ♪
And I won't forget
The way you held me up when I was down ♪
And I won't forget the way you said
"Darling I love you" ♪
You gave me faith to go on ♪
Now we're there
And we've only just begun ♪
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come ♪
[opening theme music playing]
[music fades]
[birds chirping]
[Sirisco] Okay, so were you watching?
We were playing a game.
I say, "I'm the pig."
- You say
- [all] Don't touch his egg!
- [Sirisco] Yes, yes.
- [all] Don't touch his egg.
Louder, peasants.
- With more energy.
- Could be louder.
- It's really fun once you get it.
- Yeah.
Play it right,
and stay within the boundaries.
[Stratilia] No, come on. Here.
Arriguccio, I think you should be the pig.
- [Misia] Yeah!
- Yes.
- No. It's a kind offer, Stratilia, but I
- [Sirisco] Come on.
Arriguccio, pig time!
- Arrigooch, you are gonna love this!
- [whimsical music playing]
This is right up your alley.
Here, take the egg. And now, go!
- Uh, I'm the pig.
- [Misia] Don't touch his egg!
- His egg!
- Don't touch his egg!
Arriguccio, you're doin' it wrong.
I'll show you how.
You have to snort, you see.
And you have to chase us.
[Misia snorting]
[all giggling, laughing]
You're gonna get my little egg
because I'm the pig!
[all] Don't touch her egg!
You're not gonna catch me!
[Misia] Eggy!
You're gonna get my little eggy!
- You're not gonna catch me!
- [Misia] You're going to get the egg!
[Filomena] Oh. [gasping]
- I'm the pig!
- Don't touch her egg!
- I'm the pig!
- [all] Don't touch her egg!
- [banging on door]
- [man] Hello!
[Tindaro] It's the mercenaries!
[all clamoring]
[tense music playing]
- [Arriguccio] Grab your shields.
- Soldiers, tighten up.
The gift of this villa comes with a trial,
but it is a trial we can win.
Yeah.
These mercenaries believe this villa
to be fortified and guarded.
We are fortified. We are guarded.
- Yes.
- We are a collection of idiots.
And much else stands in our favor,
atop this hill, with a trusted gate,
steep walls with water and food aplenty,
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
[Misia shouting]
[Tindaro] I believe that we can hold out
for as long as
five years.
- Oh, five years!
- Yeah!
With limited cannibalism, six.
And they'll leave and hunt
for easier prey long before then.
[banging on door]
- Oh God.
- Men, take up your weapons.
Signor Tindaro,
my spear is purely decorative.
It looks good.
[sighing] Oh God. It's Licisca.
Let her in.
[music fades]
[man exclaiming]
[Tindaro] Take it.
[Tindaro groaning]
Have you seen the mercenaries?
How many are there?
Ouch!
Have you have you seen Pampinea?
[door closing]
Licisca, wait!
Licisca, stop.
- Licisca.
- Get away, please.
[Filomena] Where are you going?
[Licisca] Out the whore door,
if you must know.
They're already at the gate.
Yeah, but Tindaro says
that we can wait them out.
Oh, what, the military genius?
Well, he's wrong. But best of luck to ya.
Okay. Okay.
I'm terrible. But
I'm getting better, aren't I?
- And I'm your sister.
- [Licisca scoffing]
Yeah, okay, I know
that didn't use to mean anything,
but it does now. Just
give me a chance.
I have had, in my whole life,
two days away from you.
The day when I pushed you off a bridge,
and the next day when I came here,
and and boys liked me,
and I did what I wanted,
and everybody treated me
like a human being.
And then, there you are at the door,
dragging me back into servitude.
I should not have pushed you
off that bridge.
I should have cut off your fucking head.
[Filomena] No, but just wait.
Living here with you has changed me.
Misia has changed me
Even if you did change,
even if your little crush on Misia
It's not a crush.
I love her.
[Filomena's breath shuddering]
I'd like to see you
love anyone that isn't you.
[dramatic music playing]
- [object clanking]
- [Licisca] Ow. Ow.
Dear Lord. No, no, no, no, no.
[rats squeaking]
[music fades]
Licisca says they're at the gates.
- This is a problem.
- No, no, no, no, no.
That gate has stood for over 200 years.
We have plenty of time to boil the oil.
[sinister music playing]
- [men shouting indistinctly]
- [horses neighing]
[horse neighing]
[men shouting indistinctly]
They've breached the gate!
- Sirisco!
- No, no, no, no!
[Tindaro] There.
There.
[Sirisco] Oh my God.
There must be 30 of them.
And they're tall.
Okay!
We're going for secondary positions
and cold oil!
Cold oil!
- [Misia groaning]
- Here.
[Misia squealing]
I didn't know you were so mighty.
Thank you.
[all clamoring]
[suspenseful music swelling]
Look at us. It's just like I dreamed.
[Tindaro panting]
[horse whinnying]
Knock, knock, friends!
- No.
- Oh my God.
No. What the fuck?
Friends?
I was having so much fun!
- [Filomena] Calm down.
- [Pampinea] Friends!
I have some good news.
I struck a bargain
with this gentleman and his comrades.
He's quite reasonable
despite his rough exterior.
You may enter under flag of truce!
- No! What?
- Why?
Lay down your weapons and wait in silence
What the fuck?
while we lower our ferocious defenses.
Okay, sounds good.
Everyone lower their defenses.
- Lower your defenses.
- No, she's gonna kill me.
[Sirisco groaning]
- Lower your defenses!
- [Sirisco] Put that down!
Put it on the ground! On the ground!
- Now it's down.
- Put that down!
- Happy?
- [Misia] She's gonna
[Licisca panting]
[quietly] Shit.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Licisca] Oh fuck.
[Tindaro] Everybody, get ready.
Calandrino, to the door.
[music fades]
[Misia] Okay, why are you so strong?
[door slamming]
[liquid sloshing]
[tense music playing]
Go ahead, dear Calandrino.
[Panfilo sighing]
Finally. [chuckling, clearing throat]
Sirisco.
Tindaro.
Everyone.
Hi.
This is the general
of the Disciples of Order.
His name is Eric,
which is so funny.
[music fades]
[whimpering] He's he's from Gaul.
Anyway, I happened to run into him,
and I thought,
"Hey, I can help my friends."
All we need,
literally, all they're asking for,
is my dowry.
[Sirisco] Oh.
So you'll tell us where you hid it?
Right. To be completely honest,
when I was kicked out,
I had my dowry with me, so
What? How?
[Pampinea] Not important.
The point is, Licisca took it from me.
If she hands it over now,
we will all be fine.
See? Money solves everything.
Licisca?
[bag rustling]
[Pampinea chuckling]
How's your eye?
- My love.
- I can't find Jacopo anywhere.
What?
He'll be fine. He's a beast.
- I'm sorry, is that my dress?
- It's mine now.
- She looks amazing.
- Thank you.
- You're a phoenix.
- All right.
[jewelry clattering]
[Pampinea clearing throat]
[Pampinea] Hmm. Nice, yes?
Yeah, okay.
So, uh, just tell them
that they have to forgive me
and let me keep the villa.
[tense music playing]
[Pampinea] Eric, thank you.
Just mention the villa is mine now,
and we can say our goodbyes.
I believed Villa Santa
to have many defenders.
I believed you to be strong.
I'm ending our bargain,
and I'm claiming this villa for my order.
My men will gather the riches
that have spoiled your souls,
and then they'll kill you all.
- [Misia gasping]
- Okay, Eric. Eric. Eric!
[Pampinea chuckling]
- [Pampinea] That's not what we agreed to.
- No, it isn't.
Unleash hell!
[Pampinea screaming]
- [dramatic music playing]
- [all screaming]
[woman yelling]
[gasping]
[Eric chuckling]
Arriguccio! No!
[Jacopo yelling]
- No!
- Jacopo!
This is my villa, not yours!
- Jacopo, get back!
- Wait.
- Get back. You're my best friend.
- Come here.
Hey, you're not supposed to have that!
Face me!
Face Medusa's glare!
[suspenseful music swelling]
[Tindaro yelling]
- [Jacopo] No!
- [all screaming]
No!
[dramatic music playing]
[all gasping]
This cuirass may be a forgery.
[sword scraping]
[Calandrino yelling]
[groaning]
- Calandrino!
- Jesus!
[squelching]
Hold my wine.
[intense suspenseful music playing]
[both grunting]
You will die!
- [all yelping]
- [Eric gasping]
- [all gasping]
- [Arriguccio] Oh God.
[Licisca exclaiming]
[music fades]
What? No applause? [chuckling]
[all applauding]
- [Panfilo] That was fantastic.
- [Licisca] Yes!
[Stratilia] That was fantastic.
[Licisca whooping]
We did it.
- [Licisca] Yeah!
- Oh, we did.
- That was amazing.
- Thank you.
Hurrah!
[Tindaro] Am I dead?
[Pampinea chuckling]
You have to admit, I
I did try my honest best
to help, didn't I?
[blade clanging]
[Tindaro] What's going on? Ouch.
You slipped her that dowry, didn't you?
Didn't you?
What was I meant to do,
just let her starve?
It's her it's her dowry.
I thought you'd understand that
as a rich girl.
She made you kill someone.
Guys, you heard her.
She made a deal to save all of our lives.
- She's a smart lady
- She is so deep in your brain.
You will never stop loving her, will you?
Licisca hates me.
You should hate Pampinea.
Why don't you hate Pampinea?
You've spent about a month as a servant,
and you think you are so changed.
Yet, no.
You only see one side
of a person at a time.
No history baked in.
Love has more than one dimension.
Love has long claws.
[emotional music playing]
But I guess that you wouldn't understand
anything about that, would you?
[Misia sniffling]
Okay, enough of women talking.
We need to summit with the enemy.
- [Stratilia] No, no, no.
- What's left of them.
- Shush.
- No, I'm ready.
- Stop it.
- [Tindaro] I'm battle-ready.
Stop talking.
[Tindaro] You are amazing.
You're a soldier.
- Stop talking.
- [Tindaro] Look at us. I'm ready for more.
[Tindaro panting]
Later, we should make love.
- Would you stop it?
- [Tindaro] No, everybody knows now.
[music fades]
[birds chirping]
[door creaking]
[Sirisco vocalizing trumpet]
I forgot the trumpet.
[Panfilo chuckling]
Attention, mercenaries.
Please listen.
You are all operating
out of greed and malice,
but I have good news.
You can unburden yourselves today.
There is no need to fight.
We are all equals
on this beautiful planet.
Eric is dead!
I shanked him.
And you shall receive
the same treatment if you stay.
Stab. Stab. Stabby. Stabby.
Stabby. Stabby.
- Stab.
- [Tindaro] Mercenaries!
I, Tindaro,
buy your services with this.
[Tindaro grunting]
[Tindaro] Your first task
is to obey every order
from the rightful owner
of this villa, Stratilia.
She shall be your queen.
Stratilia, come hither
and let them witness your beauty.
Witness her beauty.
Go away.
- I said, go away.
- Go away!
- You cannot defeat us.
- Yeah!
[suspenseful music playing]
Kill them!
[men shouting]
[Sirisco yelling]
[Tindaro grunting]
[Tindaro panting]
They're thinking about it.
Are you all right?
Yeah.
I feel great, thanks.
I believe the blade just nicked my lung,
so I expect I'll be fine in the morning.
I have two lungs.
Why are you laughing?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I don't
- [banging on door]
- [men shouting]
[man] Come on!
More!
Come on, you bastards!
[men straining]
[Tindaro] The battering ram,
an infamous tool of warfare.
[banging on door]
Or perhaps they have a giant.
- [man] Nearly there!
- Our efforts have been in vain.
Friends,
many military leaders throughout history
have been honored to deliver this message
that I am about to deliver to you.
- [man] Victory.
- [man 2] We did it.
- Almost there.
- We are all going to die.
- [Sirisco quietly] No.
- [banging on door]
I remind you that prayers
are rarely effective,
and often, in fact, anger the Fates,
who worked very hard to arrange
interesting deaths for people.
Retreat is our only option.
Let us hide downstairs,
while they pillage our noble riches,
and eke out
what few minutes remain of life.
Together, we courageously flee.
[man] One, two, three!
- [Licisca] Panfilo?
- Yes, dear?
- What are you doing?
- I wanna stay here and watch it happen.
- Aren't you scared?
- Do I look scared?
Am I falling in love with you?
[banging on door]
[Licisca gasping]
[man] I need a break.
[Licisca groaning]
[both breathing heavily]
It would never work. I'm married.
[banging on door]
- Okay. [chuckling]
- Okay.
Stratilia, that way.
- Here, this way.
- What?
That way.
This way.
[all clamoring]
[old man] Hurry.
[banging on door]
[Filomena shuddering, breathing heavily]
[banging on door]
[Pampinea] Licisca or Filomena?
[screaming] Oh my God.
You're small
like a snake.
[Pampinea] Oh, thank you.
My mother could fit her body
onto our Annunciation Day platter.
God rest her soul. Filomena!
What?
I'm sorry I didn't believe you
when you told me you weren't a servant.
I see it now, of course.
It's actually quite obvious.
You've got a certain beauty, don't you?
Something a servant just couldn't manage.
Oh.
Like Misia?
Exactly! [chuckling]
[Pampinea gasping]
- [Filomena yelling]
- [Pampinea grunting]
You know, we can help each other.
Filomena!
Stop!
I have fecal gems.
[Filomena roaring]
[both grunting]
Ladies, ladies, ladies, stop!
Stop!
Oh thank God. Just who I needed most.
[Pampinea's breath shuddering]
[Pampinea sighing]
[somber music playing]
[banging on door]
[Filomena exhaling]
[banging on door]
[Filomena sniffling]
[Stratilia panting]
We could have left. We had a chance.
Take comfort in this.
Jacopo is a strapping lad,
and they may hire him as a child soldier,
should he be orphaned.
Thanks.
I was the one that thought
those hopeless peasants could defend us.
- It was I that led us astray.
- [Stratilia] We were leaving.
But I turned back
to claim the villa for my son.
- What arrogance.
- It was not arrogance. It was justice.
Justice. The villa is his.
You can't blame yourself when monsters
arrive by chance to steal it.
It infuriates me that you think
you have made any mistake at all.
- I failed my son.
- [Tindaro] No.
You have given him everything.
And love most of all.
He is blessed.
You understand that, Jacopo?
You're blessed.
Hey, here.
Stand up. Take this. Come on, put this on.
[Tindaro groaning]
[Tindaro] Help him put it on.
You're the general now. There you go.
Actually, it looks ridiculous.
Take it off.
You don't need it. You're fine without it.
- Okay?
- [banging on door]
[all breathing heavily]
[Tindaro wincing]
[men shouting indistinctly]
[sinister music playing]
[monk] Oh.
It's not plague, it's a knife wound.
You can never be sure.
Search the rooms.
Gather everything of value.
Kill anyone you meet.
They're sinners.
[men clamoring]
[music fades]
I'm so relieved to see you, Misia.
I'm so relieved
you'll have me see you, viscontessa.
- I was so worried you hated me.
- Oh, I could never do that.
So Filomena, huh? She's
She's pretty.
Yeah, she is.
You're close?
Yeah, I hope so.
[Pampinea retching]
Are you okay, viscontessa?
I ate something
that isn't agreeing with me.
[objects clattering]
Go, go, go, go, go.
Ah, he didn't just love bees,
he respected them.
Oh, Calandrino was a wonderful man.
That's why I was looking forward
to you becoming friends.
You were gonna bring him out of his shell.
[chuckling, screaming]
- Damn these men! God!
- [Arriguccio shushing]
They might hear us.
I don't care. I don't care.
Because we are going to figure out
a way to beat them right now.
Let's think of some ideas. Ideas.
Come, think, think. Who has some ideas?
- One idea might be that we surrender.
- Let's not start with that.
[Arriguccio] What choice do we have?
We all want to live,
in our own funny little way.
It is better to die, Arriguccio,
than lick their boots.
No more bootlicking!
Sirisco, we've not survived this long
because of pride.
[Sirisco] Hmm.
Well, perhaps it's time
you gave pride a chance, friend.
All right. Who's got some ideas?
[clapping]
Who's got some ideas? Ideas. Come.
[man] Well, maybe we can lure them.
Oh. We could lure them somewhere.
That's good. That's a great start. Yes!
More. Let's keep going. Keep going. Yes.
We pretend to be dead,
and then we stab them.
[Sirisco gapsing]
That! Now that's going
towards a good place.
Sit, sit, sit.
Now, let me see your dead faces.
Everybody, play dead. Play dead.
Everybody, play dead. Yes.
Okay. No, no, no.
Let's not do that. Bad idea. Bad idea.
We were getting somewhere.
We can do this together!
We could pretend to be monsters.
What?
[whimsical music playing]
[men chattering indistinctly]
[objects clattering]
[man] Take a man with you.
What is he doing?
[Licisca] Oh yeah.
They're terrified of the plague.
I don't love it myself. [chuckling]
[Licisca] Neifile was my favorite.
She was fun.
Oh, she was great fun.
Then she died.
Not so fun anymore. [chuckling]
Is this grief?
Either freedom or insanity.
Either way, it is something
profoundly felt by me. [chuckling]
[Licisca chuckling quietly]
- [Panfilo snorting]
- [Licisca shushing]
I feel quite free myself.
Unattached.
[Panfilo] Yes. It makes sense.
We're about to die.
Makes you want to lean your chin in
for that final punch.
Hmm?
[helmet clanging]
[Panfilo chortling]
Do you wanna die?
Don't you wanna be free?
What's here for you anyway?
[Panfilo chuckling]
[tense music playing]
[door rattling]
- [door banging]
- [objects breaking]
[door banging, breaking]
[door creaking]
[footsteps approaching]
No!
[Filomena] Let go!
[man] Oh yeah, enough with the riches.
- [Filomena] No!
- [man] Where are the ladies?
- Was that Filomena?
- [Panfilo] Sounds like it.
What? Are you expecting her to live?
[Panfilo crunching]
- I hadn't really thought about it.
- Well, don't start now, darling.
Yeah.
- [man 2] What you got here?
- [man 3] It's a pig.
[Filomena screaming]
- Could you help me get down there?
- At your service, Padrona.
Though
you could just leave.
[Licisca] There's no one guarding
the door.
You wanna leave this place, right?
Free yourself of her.
Go be a lady.
Or a whore.
Or a street clown.
Or anybody you want.
In the end,
love is burden.
I'm going to save her.
I understand.
[contemplative music playing]
When did Panfilo get awesome?
[man] Come in.
[man] Can't you see? There's no point
I'm the pig!
Yes!
Don't touch my egg!
Don't touch it! Piggy.
Where is the piggy?
Where's the piggy?
[men clamoring]
[Panfilo] One for you. I'm the pig!
Don't touch my egg.
Love is a burden.
One for him and one for him.
[Panfilo laughing]
Help me!
Help! Help!
[Filomena screaming]
Help me!
Help!
[Licisca roaring]
[Filomena gasping, whimpering]
Licisca, you saved me again.
Yeah, you dumb bitch.
Love's got long claws.
[Filomena crying]
[weakly] I think this might indeed
be it for me.
[Tindaro exhaling]
Tindaro?
Yeah?
We have been through so much
these last days.
You don't love me.
Your love is not required by my love.
You know nothing about me.
- [Tindaro] I know you better than most.
- Perhaps, but
[Tindaro] I know
that you have been given little
and had much taken away.
Is that true?
Yes.
I only ask
that you let me give you what I can,
what I have.
It isn't much now,
but do me the honor.
- This necklace belonged
- [Stratilia] We'll take it.
Great.
Jacopo
it was nice being your friend.
Although, in my secret heart,
I wished that one day
you might come to see me as a father.
Would you actually do that?
Would you
would you think of me as a father?
[mouthing] Yes.
Yes.
[Tindaro exhaling slowly]
[dramatic music playing]
[gasping] Oh my God,
I really thought I was gonna go.
[Tindaro panting]
How are you supposed to tell
when it's your last breath?
[music fades]
We've been in worse scrapes, my lady.
Remember when your winter hat
knocked over your father's armoire?
[both chuckling]
Oh my goodness.
- He was so angry.
- [Misia] So angry.
You're so right, Misia.
Together, we can do anything.
Anything.
- Misia?
- [Misia] Mm-hmm?
The way you love me, you
you love me no matter what I do.
The greatest gift I've ever known.
It is quite nice of me, isn't it?
I will never let you go
as long as I live.
I've come to know that
that's the truest truth.
[quietly] Yes.
[dramatic music playing]
[Pampinea] Oh, Misia.
[Misia] Mm-hmm?
[Pampinea] Are they coming?
Yes.
Is this it?
Yeah.
I thought you said
you wouldn't leave without Misia.
She made her choice. I can't change her.
- [banging on door]
- [both screaming]
[banging on door]
God, can we please think of an idea
that might actually help? Please?
[Sirisco sighing] Arriguccio.
Oh, you found a sword.
That's helpful. That might be helpful.
[Sirisco chuckling]
You were right.
I I tried to surrender just now
to to a mercenary up the hall.
And wouldn't you know it?
I've been murdered.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh no.
Oh, Sirisco, don't blame yourself.
Although, obviously
No, no, no, no. Please. [sobbing]
[dramatic music swelling]
Please.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
[Misia] Okay, here's the plan.
We are gonna pop you in this barrel,
and I'm going to seal it over,
and they'll never know you're there.
- Okay?
- All right.
- Okay, so watch your feet.
- Okay.
Up, up, up, up, up.
I'm going to swear allegiance
to the men upstairs.
You know, I'm a natural servant.
Oh, yes, you are.
And I'm gonna pretend to be
their servant instead of yours.
And then when all is quiet,
in the dead of nighttime,
I'm going to come down here,
and I'm gonna pop you out.
And me and you
will sneak off home together.
Misia.
Thank you.
[Misia sniffling]
Thank you.
Oh, and maybe at that point,
you'll bring some food?
As I'm sure I'll get hungry in here.
Absolutely, viscontessa.
- Okay.
- [Misia] Okay.
Okay.
Misia?
What would I do without you?
We'll never know.
Now, why don't you sing a wee song
to help soothe yourself and pass the time?
The tulip and the apple tree ♪
Were peaceful in the meadow ♪
- When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
- When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
- There flew a little sparrow ♪
- There flew a little sparrow ♪
- The tulip and the apple tree ♪
- ♪tulip and the ap ♪
- Were peaceful in the meadow ♪
- ♪ful in the meadow ♪
[pensive music playing]
When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
There flew a little sparrow ♪
[Misia humming]
[dramatic music playing]
What will I do without you?
Were peaceful in the meadow ♪
When out from yonder mulberry bush ♪
There flew a little sparrow ♪
[dramatic music swelling]
- [music fades]
- [Sirisco sobbing]
[banging on door]
[Sirisco seething]
They can stop us from living here
and they can stop us from leaving here
but they can't stop me
from burning this place to the ground.
I'm gonna burn this place to the ground.
Who's with me? Who's with me?
[dramatic music playing]
No one shall have this villa.
[Sirisco cackling]
No one but our corpses!
Burn!
Burn!
Burn!
Okay. I'll just leave it right here.
Come!
[choir vocalizing]
Oh my God, the cellar's on fire.
[Misia] Mm-hmm.
[Licisca coughing]
[Tindaro yelling]
Are we having a party?
Hey, burning down this place was my idea!
Well, we can't stay here.
[Tindaro] We could take up arms
and fight to the death.
I can lead us into battle.
I'm not really up for that.
Besides, you know, each other
what is actually worth fighting for here?
[Jacopo coughing]
["The Chauffeur" by Duran Duran playing]
[Filomena coughing]
I think I can get you guys
the fuck out of here.
[man] Here you go. Put it down there.
Let's get another lot.
Out on the tar plains
The glides are moving ♪
All looking for a new place to drive ♪
You sit beside me, so newly charming ♪
Sweating dew drops glisten
Freshing your side ♪
And the sun drips down
Bedding heavy behind ♪
The front of your dress
All shadowy lined ♪
And the droning engine throbs in time ♪
With your beating heart ♪
Darling
I need your help.
I can't seem to die without you.
Way down the lane away
Living for another day ♪
The aphids swarm up
In the drifting haze ♪
Swim seagull in the sky
Towards that hollow western isle ♪
My envied lady
Holds you fast in her gaze ♪
And the sun drips down
Bedding heavy behind ♪
The front of your dress
All shadowy lined ♪
And the droning engine ♪
[man] Hey!
With your beating heart ♪
[man yelling, groaning]
- Now, now, now!
- Go!
Go, go, go!
Hurry! Go! Hurry!
[men clamoring]
[Sirisco] Go!
[man] My lord!
[Sirisco] Hurry!
Go, go, go! Hurry!
And watching lovers part, I feel you ♪
Pestilence!
Pestilence!
Retreat! Pestilence!
- [men] Pestilence!
- Brother.
So long, friend.
Pestilence!
- [men] Pestilence!
- Pestilence!
[Tindaro] Stratilia!
Jacopo.
- Pestilence!
- Look after her.
[soldier grunting]
[Tindaro grunting]
Pestilence!
Pestilence!
Archers!
- Pestilence!
- Archers!
[Panfilo grunting]
Okay then.
[Panfilo roaring]
Sing, sing ♪
[Stratilia] Jacopo!
I'll save you!
Jacopo! No!
[both grunting]
The droning engine throbs in time
With your beating heart ♪
And the sun drips down
Bedding heavy behind ♪
The front of your dress
All shadowy lined ♪
The droning engine throbs in time
With your beating heart ♪
[Tindaro grunting]
Sing, Blue Silver ♪
Sing, sing ♪
[men shouting]
[man] Kill them all!
[Panfilo grunting]
[Panfilo grunting]
Come on! Go!
[Panfilo grunting, panting]
[song fades]
[birds chirping]
I thought it would burn down.
Well, it is made of stone.
Idiot.
[Sirisco chuckling]
You remind me of your father.
God. I can't believe we lived, huh?
[Sirisco chuckling]
At the same time, I have to believe it,
or I'd be dead.
New chapter!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I thought we'd go back to your village.
- No, we're gonna find someplace else.
- Should I go with you?
- No.
[Sirisco clearing throat]
Yeah, okay. Bye-bye.
- Hey, Sirisco.
- [Sirisco] Hmm?
[Licisca] Don't be sad.
It's like you said, we we survived.
We did it.
Yeah. We did it. [chuckling]
We did do it.
- We did it.
- [Sirisco] Yeah.
- Yeah.
- [Sirisco] Yeah.
[thunder rumbling]
[all sobbing]
Okay.
We have all had a a good cry.
Come on, let's go.
Up you get.
Up you get.
- Up you get, my dove.
- No.
Up you get, my dove!
[crickets chirping]
[Filomena] Welcome.
This is mine and Licisca's cave.
What's ours is yours, but, uh, make sure
you look out for wicked Vitrucchia.
Who's Vitrucchia?
Oh, she's a night witch.
- Night witch?
- Night witch?
[Filomena] Yeah.
[both chanting] Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
- No, no, no.
- Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
[all] Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
The devil cursed your name
- Vitrucchia!
- Vitrucchia, Vitrucchia
- The devil cursed your name
- Vitrucchia!
The devil cursed your name
Vitrucchia!
[crickets chirping]
[Licisca] Do you think he lived?
Dad?
Yeah.
God, I hope not. He'd be so mad at me.
[Licisca chuckling]
[both laughing]
I think we should find out.
Yeah.
I love you
in spite of myself.
I love you more,
in spite of nothing.
[Stratilia] Can you two shut up?
[both laughing]
[Filomena shushing, snorting]
[both laughing raucously]
So then Giannello mounted Peronella
as a stallion mounts a mare.
He set to work finishing the task at hand.
[Filomena] Misia!
[all laughing]
[Misia] In the end,
Giannello won two prizes that day.
The amorous embrace of the plumber's wife
and a free bathtub
like he'd always dreamed.
- Very good.
- Oh bravo.
[whimsical music playing]
Very good.
Okay, Sirisco, your go.
Ooh. Oh. That's hard to follow.
Tindaro died.
[music fades]
- [cicadas chittering]
- [birds chirping]
Yeah, he did.
So did Panfilo.
It was really nice of Panfilo.
It's sad to die.
Yes, it is.
You can never do anything about it.
The death part or the sad part?
Both.
- You could have an orange.
- [Licisca gasping]
[Sirisco] Ooh.
- There we go. You guys want?
- [Sirisco] Yes.
- Yeah, what else you got?
- Just mainly oranges.
- I'll take an orange.
- Big haul.
- No. I'm just not hungry right now.
- God.
[all laughing]
May I have some of your orange?
[Sirisco exclaiming]
[Filomena] Mmm.
All right, Sirisco. Tell us a happy one.
A happy one?
I thought Misia's was quite happy.
Um, let's see
Uh Ooh, perhaps a love story?
- Would you like a love story?
- Yes.
Ooh, yes.
So some time ago, the villagers of Saluzzo
asked their marquis,
who was a very committed bachelor,
to marry in hopes of producing an heir.
He was not very fond of that idea.
But he agreed under one condition.
That he could choose his wife,
and that the villagers would abide
by whatever the outcome.
So he goes to the village
and he picks the most beautiful woman,
but she was also the poorest.
- Why?
- So
I haven't got there yet.
Sorry.
["This Will Be Our Year"
by the Zombies playing]
The warmth of your love
Is like the warmth of the sun ♪
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come ♪
Don't let go of my hand
Now darkness has gone ♪
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come ♪
And I won't forget
The way you held me up when I was down ♪
And I won't forget the way you said
"Darling I love you" ♪
You gave me faith to go on ♪
Now we're there
And we've only just begun ♪
And this will be our year
Took a long time to come ♪