The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air s01e08 Episode Script
Someday Your Prince Will Be in Effect (1)
Have mercy.
What's that, Jody? Yeah, you can pick me up at 8:00, baby.
Yes, lord.
Your red tube top.
Asking out magazines, Will? I don't know.
Even paper products have some standards.
What's that, Jody? No, that's as tall as he'll ever be.
Hilary, you know I don't like wearing costumes.
But, dad, I'm coming to Hilary's party as a ballerina.
That's the one thing I wanted to come as.
And it's taken? So sorry.
Please, daddy, I want my Halloween party to turn out really good.
Couldn't you wear a very tailored clown suit or something? Go on, uncle Phil.
You just throw a hairpiece on and come as Mr.
T.
Yeah, dad.
We're all wearing costumes.
I have some bad news for both of you.
You're not invited.
Why not? Every time I have a party, you spend all night hitting on my girlfriends.
Wait a minute, Hilary.
Everyone in the family is invited.
Besides, I'm sure Carlton and Will have dates.
- Yeah, of course.
- Oodles.
I guess all things are possible.
We better get going.
I need to get my costume and the mall closes in eight hours.
We all need costumes.
Let's go.
- Won't this be fun? - No.
Come on, Philip.
Get in the Halloween spirit.
So, what's that, Carlton? You do not have a date for tonight.
Like you do? Who are you taking? Page 42? Carlton, all I have to do is walk in a mall, and I get any girl I want.
It's the law of nature.
It's called the survival of the handsomest.
Will, I don't even have to step into the mall.
Girls surround me in the parking lot and rip the doors off my car.
Would you like to put your money where your mouth is? A betting man.
I bet you that I get a date and you don't.
This is a sucker bet, Will.
Within an hour, I'll have a gorgeous date and a great Halloween costume.
You better buy the mask first.
Yo yo yo, baby.
How about some fries to go with that shake?? Sorry, i'm in no fat head diet Xcuse me gurl, would you like to do the limbo under a coconut tree??? Will, do you mind railing in your tongue for one moment? Now, before we all go our seperate ways i think it's right for me to determine where and when we all are gonna meet.
Now i think 5 o'clock should be enough time for all of us to shop for costumes We'll meet back at the car at 5 o'clock sharp.
Now get going Good luck And Hilary Keep an eye on your little sister Don't worry mom.
I see shopping at the mall as an educational experience for Ashley.
When i see more and more young people shopping by catalog.
Well, don't get me started Alright Phillip, i'll see you at the car at 5 o'clock with the costume? Oh Jes Vivian, can't i wear a black robe and go as a good marshal? Come on Philip, be creative Surprise me? Ok.
How about Saturday O'Connor? Alright Will.
Let the great pick-up contest begin Carlton, this is gonna be about as much of a contest as Mike Tyson versus Fred Savage.
Welcome to Croissants Aplenty.
I'm Cindy, your waitress.
Yo what's up, Cindy? I'm Will and this is Carlton, my geek.
Cindy, we need a woman's point of view.
Which one of us do you find more attractive? May I take your order? I'll have the goat cheese and the prosciutto croissant.
Y'all got any ribs? Okay, back to the bet.
A "date" is defined as a female who arrives at the party by midnight tonight.
And let me clarify something for you, Carlton: She has to be a human being.
I saw you looking in the pet store.
Hilary!!! Stop by later.
We have just got a stretch velvet suit that has your name written all over it.
Be sure to hold it for me Ramon.
Love you Hilary, I really don't think this store's gonna have my ballerina costume.
Ashley, you don't want to come to my Halloween party as a boring ballerina.
But, Hilary, I want to come in something pretty.
There.
You're Charlie Chaplin.
- Who is Charlie Chaplin? - He was a silent movie star.
So take a hint.
Let's get my outfits.
"Outfits"? How many costumes do you need? At least five.
I'm going as a runway model.
- Anything I can help you with, sir? - No, I'm just browsing.
Actually, I'm supposed to be shopping for a Halloween costume.
What's this? It's one of those things for finding your lost keys? Yes, but this one is totally new.
Are you constantly misplacing your keys? Just touch the button on the locator unit, and the keyring emits a gentle beep tone - to alert you to the whereabouts.
- Nice, but what's new about that? Suppose you misplace your primary locator unit.
Just use the equally handsome secondary unit and listen for the primary unit's own distinctive warbling.
That's a great idea.
- What's this? - It's a Dynatronics audio habitat enhancer.
I could use one of those.
What does it do? It produces a pleasant ocean sound, drowning out unpleasant noise pollution.
- You have that problem in your house? - Boy, do I! My wife's nephew.
The first week he moved in with us there was nonstop drumming in the house.
What the devil was that? I believe the technical term is a rime shot.
Who did it? Out of specalation of course, but my guess is master William.
Will.
Will!!!! Will!!!! Vivian.
What? Ashley, honey where is your violin? - Big Sal has it.
- Big Sal? He owns this great store where you don't need any money.
You just go in and give him something you don't even want anymore - and he gives you this ticket.
Then - A pawnshop? - You took her to a pawnshop? - Yeah, it was really hard, too.
You don't have many pawnshops in Bel-Air.
That's really a shame.
- I had to go all the way to East LA.
- East LA? - They gave me a great deal.
- They gave you a set of drums.
And I made them throw in a little gift for each of you.
Close your eyes.
- Vivian! - I want my present.
Ok, open.
Oh Will, what a lovely antique necklace.
- What is this? - Daddy, it's a diamond.
No, it isn't.
- You don't like it? - No, I do not.
Can I have it? How dare you pawn her violin! - She don't even like playing it no more.
- She will learn to like it later.
A young woman who can play a violin is an accomplished young lady.
A girlie that can play the drums can write her own ticket.
Will, I want the best for Ashley.
When I was a kid, I loved classical music, but my parents couldn't afford lessons.
I used to stand out in the parking lot of the Philharmonic hoping to catch a spare note on the night air.
Philip, when I met you, you were into James Brown.
- He liked James Brown? - He even wore his hair like him.
He had hair? You know, it is possible to like both classical music and James Brown.
I could not agree more.
So let's let Ashley play whatever she wants.
She spent an entire year on the violin.
So if she wants to try something new, let her.
You tell him, Aunt Viv.
- And as for you, young man - Love you.
The next time you decide to visit a pawnshop Don't.
- Are we clear on that? - Yes.
Master William, there is a young gentleman downstairs with a rather large radio who is here to see you.
- He claims his name is Jazz.
- Yo, word up.
Send him up.
- Now now, who is this Jazz fellow? - I heard the boy at a club.
He was all of that.
He will be Ashley's new music teacher.
Mr.
Jazz It's nice to meet you, Jazz.
How do you do? I'm Mr.
Banks.
You got that right.
Man, you're loaded! Yo, what's up, J? Come on, let's just leave them alone.
- I asked him to take her to her lesson - I know, baby.
Ash, how about letting Jazz get busy one time? Excuse me, I'm looking for that store with the safari clothes.
I can't remember the name, but I think there's some produce in it.
- Banana Republic.
- That's it.
Thank you.
You know, you have a beautiful speaking voice.
You're probably a dynamite singer.
Well, I'm okay.
You want to record your own song? $8.
95.
I really have to shop for a Halloween costume.
That's too bad, because you're the first person I've met who I think could make a professional, quality recording.
You look like a woman with good taste.
- Hi, may I help you? - I think so.
Tonight is my sister's Halloween party and I was wondering if you can honor me by showing me that pen.
Certainly.
This pen was manufactured in France.
It has a 14-karat gold nib and it's hand-lacquered.
The price is Do i look like the kind of man who would quibble about a few dollars? That's very nice because most of my customers would be shocked at a pen that costs $300.
Aren't these dancers great? You like dancers? I think dancers are the sexiest guys in the whole world.
Word? Yo baby, peep this.
The easy-to-read digital display keeps constant track of your pencil supply.
As you remove the pencils from the sturdy ABS plastic container the powerful micro-computer brain continuously updates the LED read-out and when the number reaches your preset re-supply level the pencil monitor alerts you to the shortage and reminds you to take action.
Only three pencils remain.
Proceed to stationery store immediately.
I'll take it.
I better get moving.
I'm sure my wife has picked out her costume by now.
Hi, Shauna.
I'd like to try these on.
Hilary, hi.
I didn't even see you come in.
I was just getting my overview of your new stock.
- It is all wonderful.
- Wait till you see what I've held for you.
Thank you! It is so important to have friends in retail.
I've tried to explain that to my little sister.
Hilary, I'd love to meet her.
When are you gonna bring her in? She's right here.
- Ashley, say hi to Shauna.
- Hello.
Anyway, I need some outfits for my Halloween party tonight.
That should be fun.
As long as my cousin Will doesn't ruin it.
You should have seen what he did at our last party.
Oh, my God! Philip, don't make a big thing out of it.
If this is how he feels comfortable, he's not killing anybody.
Philip, aren't you going to introduce Will? Introduce him.
Steve, David, Henry this is Will, my nephew by marriage.
Will, these are my partners in the law firm of Furth, Winn & Meyer.
Earth, Wind & Fire.
When's your next album coming out? Will is going to go to Bel-Air Academy with Carlton.
Good for you, Will.
I used to fence at Bel-Air.
Really? How much do you think we could get for that stereo? - Will, there are other people at this table.
- Oh, you're right.
Any requests? - Sweetie, would you say grace, please? - Yes, mommy.
"Hey, there, Lord My name is Ashley Banks "My family and friends Want to give you some thanks "So before this dinner's All swallowed and chewed "Thank you, God, for this stupid food" Excuse me.
Let me see that hat.
Okay, but I don't think it works with that outfit.
- Did you pay for this? - No, I guess I forgot to.
But you just had to have to it? Me? You've got to be kidding.
Derbies went out six months ago.
Let's take a little walk to the security office.
You can give me your fashion dos and don'ts there.
I knew I should have gone as a ballerina.
Okay, people, let's go.
Let's move along.
Nothing to see here.
No show.
What's that, Jody? Yeah, you can pick me up at 8:00, baby.
Yes, lord.
Your red tube top.
Asking out magazines, Will? I don't know.
Even paper products have some standards.
What's that, Jody? No, that's as tall as he'll ever be.
Hilary, you know I don't like wearing costumes.
But, dad, I'm coming to Hilary's party as a ballerina.
That's the one thing I wanted to come as.
And it's taken? So sorry.
Please, daddy, I want my Halloween party to turn out really good.
Couldn't you wear a very tailored clown suit or something? Go on, uncle Phil.
You just throw a hairpiece on and come as Mr.
T.
Yeah, dad.
We're all wearing costumes.
I have some bad news for both of you.
You're not invited.
Why not? Every time I have a party, you spend all night hitting on my girlfriends.
Wait a minute, Hilary.
Everyone in the family is invited.
Besides, I'm sure Carlton and Will have dates.
- Yeah, of course.
- Oodles.
I guess all things are possible.
We better get going.
I need to get my costume and the mall closes in eight hours.
We all need costumes.
Let's go.
- Won't this be fun? - No.
Come on, Philip.
Get in the Halloween spirit.
So, what's that, Carlton? You do not have a date for tonight.
Like you do? Who are you taking? Page 42? Carlton, all I have to do is walk in a mall, and I get any girl I want.
It's the law of nature.
It's called the survival of the handsomest.
Will, I don't even have to step into the mall.
Girls surround me in the parking lot and rip the doors off my car.
Would you like to put your money where your mouth is? A betting man.
I bet you that I get a date and you don't.
This is a sucker bet, Will.
Within an hour, I'll have a gorgeous date and a great Halloween costume.
You better buy the mask first.
Yo yo yo, baby.
How about some fries to go with that shake?? Sorry, i'm in no fat head diet Xcuse me gurl, would you like to do the limbo under a coconut tree??? Will, do you mind railing in your tongue for one moment? Now, before we all go our seperate ways i think it's right for me to determine where and when we all are gonna meet.
Now i think 5 o'clock should be enough time for all of us to shop for costumes We'll meet back at the car at 5 o'clock sharp.
Now get going Good luck And Hilary Keep an eye on your little sister Don't worry mom.
I see shopping at the mall as an educational experience for Ashley.
When i see more and more young people shopping by catalog.
Well, don't get me started Alright Phillip, i'll see you at the car at 5 o'clock with the costume? Oh Jes Vivian, can't i wear a black robe and go as a good marshal? Come on Philip, be creative Surprise me? Ok.
How about Saturday O'Connor? Alright Will.
Let the great pick-up contest begin Carlton, this is gonna be about as much of a contest as Mike Tyson versus Fred Savage.
Welcome to Croissants Aplenty.
I'm Cindy, your waitress.
Yo what's up, Cindy? I'm Will and this is Carlton, my geek.
Cindy, we need a woman's point of view.
Which one of us do you find more attractive? May I take your order? I'll have the goat cheese and the prosciutto croissant.
Y'all got any ribs? Okay, back to the bet.
A "date" is defined as a female who arrives at the party by midnight tonight.
And let me clarify something for you, Carlton: She has to be a human being.
I saw you looking in the pet store.
Hilary!!! Stop by later.
We have just got a stretch velvet suit that has your name written all over it.
Be sure to hold it for me Ramon.
Love you Hilary, I really don't think this store's gonna have my ballerina costume.
Ashley, you don't want to come to my Halloween party as a boring ballerina.
But, Hilary, I want to come in something pretty.
There.
You're Charlie Chaplin.
- Who is Charlie Chaplin? - He was a silent movie star.
So take a hint.
Let's get my outfits.
"Outfits"? How many costumes do you need? At least five.
I'm going as a runway model.
- Anything I can help you with, sir? - No, I'm just browsing.
Actually, I'm supposed to be shopping for a Halloween costume.
What's this? It's one of those things for finding your lost keys? Yes, but this one is totally new.
Are you constantly misplacing your keys? Just touch the button on the locator unit, and the keyring emits a gentle beep tone - to alert you to the whereabouts.
- Nice, but what's new about that? Suppose you misplace your primary locator unit.
Just use the equally handsome secondary unit and listen for the primary unit's own distinctive warbling.
That's a great idea.
- What's this? - It's a Dynatronics audio habitat enhancer.
I could use one of those.
What does it do? It produces a pleasant ocean sound, drowning out unpleasant noise pollution.
- You have that problem in your house? - Boy, do I! My wife's nephew.
The first week he moved in with us there was nonstop drumming in the house.
What the devil was that? I believe the technical term is a rime shot.
Who did it? Out of specalation of course, but my guess is master William.
Will.
Will!!!! Will!!!! Vivian.
What? Ashley, honey where is your violin? - Big Sal has it.
- Big Sal? He owns this great store where you don't need any money.
You just go in and give him something you don't even want anymore - and he gives you this ticket.
Then - A pawnshop? - You took her to a pawnshop? - Yeah, it was really hard, too.
You don't have many pawnshops in Bel-Air.
That's really a shame.
- I had to go all the way to East LA.
- East LA? - They gave me a great deal.
- They gave you a set of drums.
And I made them throw in a little gift for each of you.
Close your eyes.
- Vivian! - I want my present.
Ok, open.
Oh Will, what a lovely antique necklace.
- What is this? - Daddy, it's a diamond.
No, it isn't.
- You don't like it? - No, I do not.
Can I have it? How dare you pawn her violin! - She don't even like playing it no more.
- She will learn to like it later.
A young woman who can play a violin is an accomplished young lady.
A girlie that can play the drums can write her own ticket.
Will, I want the best for Ashley.
When I was a kid, I loved classical music, but my parents couldn't afford lessons.
I used to stand out in the parking lot of the Philharmonic hoping to catch a spare note on the night air.
Philip, when I met you, you were into James Brown.
- He liked James Brown? - He even wore his hair like him.
He had hair? You know, it is possible to like both classical music and James Brown.
I could not agree more.
So let's let Ashley play whatever she wants.
She spent an entire year on the violin.
So if she wants to try something new, let her.
You tell him, Aunt Viv.
- And as for you, young man - Love you.
The next time you decide to visit a pawnshop Don't.
- Are we clear on that? - Yes.
Master William, there is a young gentleman downstairs with a rather large radio who is here to see you.
- He claims his name is Jazz.
- Yo, word up.
Send him up.
- Now now, who is this Jazz fellow? - I heard the boy at a club.
He was all of that.
He will be Ashley's new music teacher.
Mr.
Jazz It's nice to meet you, Jazz.
How do you do? I'm Mr.
Banks.
You got that right.
Man, you're loaded! Yo, what's up, J? Come on, let's just leave them alone.
- I asked him to take her to her lesson - I know, baby.
Ash, how about letting Jazz get busy one time? Excuse me, I'm looking for that store with the safari clothes.
I can't remember the name, but I think there's some produce in it.
- Banana Republic.
- That's it.
Thank you.
You know, you have a beautiful speaking voice.
You're probably a dynamite singer.
Well, I'm okay.
You want to record your own song? $8.
95.
I really have to shop for a Halloween costume.
That's too bad, because you're the first person I've met who I think could make a professional, quality recording.
You look like a woman with good taste.
- Hi, may I help you? - I think so.
Tonight is my sister's Halloween party and I was wondering if you can honor me by showing me that pen.
Certainly.
This pen was manufactured in France.
It has a 14-karat gold nib and it's hand-lacquered.
The price is Do i look like the kind of man who would quibble about a few dollars? That's very nice because most of my customers would be shocked at a pen that costs $300.
Aren't these dancers great? You like dancers? I think dancers are the sexiest guys in the whole world.
Word? Yo baby, peep this.
The easy-to-read digital display keeps constant track of your pencil supply.
As you remove the pencils from the sturdy ABS plastic container the powerful micro-computer brain continuously updates the LED read-out and when the number reaches your preset re-supply level the pencil monitor alerts you to the shortage and reminds you to take action.
Only three pencils remain.
Proceed to stationery store immediately.
I'll take it.
I better get moving.
I'm sure my wife has picked out her costume by now.
Hi, Shauna.
I'd like to try these on.
Hilary, hi.
I didn't even see you come in.
I was just getting my overview of your new stock.
- It is all wonderful.
- Wait till you see what I've held for you.
Thank you! It is so important to have friends in retail.
I've tried to explain that to my little sister.
Hilary, I'd love to meet her.
When are you gonna bring her in? She's right here.
- Ashley, say hi to Shauna.
- Hello.
Anyway, I need some outfits for my Halloween party tonight.
That should be fun.
As long as my cousin Will doesn't ruin it.
You should have seen what he did at our last party.
Oh, my God! Philip, don't make a big thing out of it.
If this is how he feels comfortable, he's not killing anybody.
Philip, aren't you going to introduce Will? Introduce him.
Steve, David, Henry this is Will, my nephew by marriage.
Will, these are my partners in the law firm of Furth, Winn & Meyer.
Earth, Wind & Fire.
When's your next album coming out? Will is going to go to Bel-Air Academy with Carlton.
Good for you, Will.
I used to fence at Bel-Air.
Really? How much do you think we could get for that stereo? - Will, there are other people at this table.
- Oh, you're right.
Any requests? - Sweetie, would you say grace, please? - Yes, mommy.
"Hey, there, Lord My name is Ashley Banks "My family and friends Want to give you some thanks "So before this dinner's All swallowed and chewed "Thank you, God, for this stupid food" Excuse me.
Let me see that hat.
Okay, but I don't think it works with that outfit.
- Did you pay for this? - No, I guess I forgot to.
But you just had to have to it? Me? You've got to be kidding.
Derbies went out six months ago.
Let's take a little walk to the security office.
You can give me your fashion dos and don'ts there.
I knew I should have gone as a ballerina.
Okay, people, let's go.
Let's move along.
Nothing to see here.
No show.