The Guild (2007) s01e08 Episode Script
Tipping Point
When I turned and found Zaboo trying to hang himself with an Ethernet cord, I jumped up immediately.
Like a ninja.
My shirt's on backwards.
I don't mean to be self-centered, but this was a real breakthrough moment for me.
I mean, my therapist is always telling me, "Oh, be bold and take control.
" Nothing makes you proactive like watching someone try to hang themselves.
No! Stop it! Stop it! What are you doing? You idiot! Stop it! Stop it! Really? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Look, I can't go back with her.
Okay? My only option is re-rolling.
No! Your mother loves you! Maybe too much, but you need to go home.
Codex, I can't drive.
What? She insisted on driving me to college every day for the past four years.
Whoa.
She used to take me into the ladies' room with her until I was 15 years old.
Every time I try to grow up, she has a panic attack or an ulcer, or some sort of breast polyp which she makes me feel.
Ew! Look, the only place that I can be myself is online.
But last week, I caught her reading Internet for Dummies.
If she finishes that book, I'm gonna have nothing left.
Oh! That's awful! Awesome! Awkward.
Oh! Everybody heard that? Sorry.
I left the mic open.
God! Wait! Clara? I'm coming.
I just need to change from my pole dancing class.
That was your appointment? You mean I'm watching your sperm blossoms because you're training to be a stripper? I have to stay nimble.
How do you think I had three kids in three years? Come get them now! Ugh! The smell! Yo! You dudes like my video? I gotta say, meeting you all in person was, like, inspiring.
Bladezz! I'd like to open a formal negotiation to acquire Take that video down before you get us all banned, tool face! Go, girl! Better idea.
I'm gonna go play Richie Rich and give some Guild Bank bling to random newbies.
Later, kitten.
We're doomed.
Guess it's back to single player for me.
Guys, guys! We can work this out, okay? With just a few of us, we can take down a ten-man dungeon.
Life can't be that much harder.
I know how to get Bladezz to give back the Guild Bank and then take that video down.
Help me escape two-armed Kali out there, and I'll show you.
Zaboo, I Hey, help me, Codex-Wan.
You're my only hope.
Okay.
Everyone, meet us at Cheesybeards in an hour to settle this.
Yay! More pancakes! And get Bladezz there, too.
Anything to offload the poop factories.
I don't have gas money for that! Sujan! Attend to me! Just do it! This better work.
Come on.
Like a ninja.
My shirt's on backwards.
I don't mean to be self-centered, but this was a real breakthrough moment for me.
I mean, my therapist is always telling me, "Oh, be bold and take control.
" Nothing makes you proactive like watching someone try to hang themselves.
No! Stop it! Stop it! What are you doing? You idiot! Stop it! Stop it! Really? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Look, I can't go back with her.
Okay? My only option is re-rolling.
No! Your mother loves you! Maybe too much, but you need to go home.
Codex, I can't drive.
What? She insisted on driving me to college every day for the past four years.
Whoa.
She used to take me into the ladies' room with her until I was 15 years old.
Every time I try to grow up, she has a panic attack or an ulcer, or some sort of breast polyp which she makes me feel.
Ew! Look, the only place that I can be myself is online.
But last week, I caught her reading Internet for Dummies.
If she finishes that book, I'm gonna have nothing left.
Oh! That's awful! Awesome! Awkward.
Oh! Everybody heard that? Sorry.
I left the mic open.
God! Wait! Clara? I'm coming.
I just need to change from my pole dancing class.
That was your appointment? You mean I'm watching your sperm blossoms because you're training to be a stripper? I have to stay nimble.
How do you think I had three kids in three years? Come get them now! Ugh! The smell! Yo! You dudes like my video? I gotta say, meeting you all in person was, like, inspiring.
Bladezz! I'd like to open a formal negotiation to acquire Take that video down before you get us all banned, tool face! Go, girl! Better idea.
I'm gonna go play Richie Rich and give some Guild Bank bling to random newbies.
Later, kitten.
We're doomed.
Guess it's back to single player for me.
Guys, guys! We can work this out, okay? With just a few of us, we can take down a ten-man dungeon.
Life can't be that much harder.
I know how to get Bladezz to give back the Guild Bank and then take that video down.
Help me escape two-armed Kali out there, and I'll show you.
Zaboo, I Hey, help me, Codex-Wan.
You're my only hope.
Okay.
Everyone, meet us at Cheesybeards in an hour to settle this.
Yay! More pancakes! And get Bladezz there, too.
Anything to offload the poop factories.
I don't have gas money for that! Sujan! Attend to me! Just do it! This better work.
Come on.