The Jetsons (1962) s01e08 Episode Script

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife This is Spacely Space Sprockets.
The home of big business, where big wheels wheel and deal.
And this is George Jetson a small wheel with a big deal on his mind at the moment.
I wonder if oId SpaceIy wiII give me the afternoon off.
Boy, oh, boy, I'm gIad it's Wednesday.
These three-day workweeks are murder.
I think I'II give him the computeritis sick routine.
Oh, no, no.
I used that Iast week.
I know, I know, I'II try the nucIear phobia bit.
Yeah, that ought to do it.
HeIIo, Mr.
Jetson.
HeIIo, Miss GaIaxy.
Hey, is oId bIastoff in? No, but Mr.
SpaceIy is.
Just a moment.
Yes, Miss GaIaxy? What is it? George Jetson to see you, Mr.
Blastoff.
Sir, I mean, Mr.
Spacely, sir.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
He's Iate.
-Send him in.
-Yes, sir.
Okay, you can go in.
But aren't you a IittIe Iate with your afternoon off this week? Very funny.
You shouId be in show business.
There's a bus Ieaving at 9, get on it.
Or whatever the gag is.
Good afternoon, Mr.
SpaceIy, sir.
I was just wondering if-- No! You can't have the afternoon off.
Now, get back to work, Jetson! I wonder why he had that instaIIed.
At this moment, approaching Spacely Space Sprockets is the big wheel of Cogswell Cosmic Cogs Mr.
Cogswell himself to start wheeling and dealing a big deal for himself.
WeII, I hope oId SpaceIy has decided to merge with CogsweII's Cosmic Cogs because if he don't, this pIace wiII wind up seIIing space cycIes.
Why, Mr.
CogsweII.
Good afternoon, sir.
Don't announce me, Miss GaIaxy.
I aIways Iike to come on fast and strong.
Sort of a CogsweII trademark.
Hiya, SpaceIy! Did you accept my offer? When do we merge? The first Sunday that comes in the middIe of the week.
Now, now, SpaceIy, Iet's not be bitter.
After aII, you wiII stiII be one of my vice presidents.
Smoke, SpaceIy? No, thanks.
There's too much hot air around here now.
You reaIize, of course, that if we don't merge it couId mean the end of SpaceIy Space Sprockets.
-You're bIuffing, CogsweII.
-Not at aII, SpaceIy.
Our research boys have engineered a scientific breakthrough which wiII make space sprockets as obsoIete as jet engines.
I stiII say you're bIuffing, CogsweII.
I don't beIieve it.
WeII, it's too bad, SpaceIy.
It's been a nice, friendIy rivaIry.
But that's space business.
If you change your mind, you know where you can reach me.
WeII, don't hoId your breath waiting! Arrivederci, SpaceIy.
-Mr.
Spacely? -Yes? It's time for your eye drops, sir.
Oh, yes.
Thanks.
Open, please.
That CogsweII can't shake me! I know he's bIuffing.
But I wonder what he's up to.
Meanwhile, back at Cogswell's Cosmic Cogs.
WeII? Is everything ready, Moonstone? Yes, sir, Mr.
CogsweII.
Our new fIight suit is aII set for testing.
Good, good.
If aII goes weII, we'II spring it on the board of directors in the morning.
Sort of ''springboard'' it.
WeII, Iet's proceed with the demonstration, Moonstone.
Okay, HarIan.
Bring out the X-1 500.
Yes, sir.
Coming right out, sir.
Why, it Iooks just Iike an ordinary suit! Is this a gag, Moonstone? Oh, no, Mr.
CogsweII.
With this suit on, a man can fIy Iike a bird.
The suit is wired to operate on a brain wave frequency of 200 cerebeIIas.
It obeys the sIightest mentaI command instantIy.
Watch.
-Proceed, HarIan.
-Yes, sir, sir.
Anyone can operate the suit, Mr.
CogsweII.
No checkout or experience is necessary.
Amazing.
Amazing! It's aII you said it was, Moonstone.
CongratuIations.
Thank you, sir.
In addition, the maneuverabiIity of the X-1 500 is unIimited.
It mereIy foIIows the movement pattern of the wearer.
Fantastic, Moonstone! We are geniuses.
And it can reach a speed of Mach 4.
Watch it with those sonic booms, HarIan! Sorry, sir.
-Okay, now take her down.
-Roger, sir.
You notice how we can come from maximum speed to an instant haIt and make a soft Ianding free from any G-forces.
I am fIabbergasted! HarIan, better take the X-1 500 to the cIeaners.
We want a pressed suit for the board of directors' demonstration tomorrow.
Yes, sir, sir.
I'II have it done right away, sir, sir, sir, sir.
Moonstone, this couId mean the end of space cars.
The end of space sprockets aIso, sir.
Yes, especiaIIy SpaceIy Space Sprockets.
Maybe I ought to take one of those overskies jobs on Mars or Venus.
At Ieast I'd be rid of that sIave driver SpaceIy.
Then maybe I couId get an afternoon off once in a whiIe.
-Hello, dear.
-Yeah, Jane.
What's up? Will you please drop by the cleaners and pick up your suit? I've been so busy all day I just simply forgot to get it.
-Oh, now, Iook, Janey, I-- -Thanks, dear.
Bye! Oh, great.
The cIeaner is It'II take an extra 30 seconds just to get there.
I wish Jane couId organize her routine more efficientIy.
Hey, Herbie, make this suit a rush job, wiII you? And biII the CogsweII Company.
Okay, HarIan.
I'II put it in speciaI.
OnIy takes 1 5 seconds that way.
-Just hang it on the hook.
-Right, on the hook.
This new high-speed sound wave cIeaning makes this job a snap.
Be right back, Herb.
Gotta put some dough in the oId space meter.
Hi, Herbie.
Mrs.
Jetson said I shouId pick up my suit.
Is it ready? Oh, hiya, Mr.
Jetson.
Yeah, I'II send it right out.
Just a minute.
Here it is.
Coming up.
Thanks, Herb.
Put it on my biII, huh? Thanks, Herb.
I see my suit's ready.
Yeah.
Take it away, HarIan.
Hope I didn't mix those suits up.
Be seeing you, Herb.
WeII, back to the drawing board.
EIroy! You've been spIitting atoms again.
OnIy a coupIe, Mom.
See, I'm trying to invent some tabIets that'II make you fIy.
Oh, that's ridicuIous! Now, cIean up this mess before your father comes home.
Okay, Mom.
Gee.
Maybe I shouId cut down on the uranium mixture.
Okay, everybody.
I'm home.
The king is here.
Let's make with the big weIcome! And here they come.
What devotion! What Iove! What the--? What kind of a weIcome is that? I think I got it! George, are you aII right? Yeah, I think so.
What happened? EIroy has been working on his experiments again.
Hi, Dad.
You wanna be the first one to try my new fIight piII? Not now, EIroy.
I gotta change this suit you dirtied so briIIiantIy with your experiments.
It's a good thing I brought this suit home from the cIeaners.
Seems to be a IittIe bit tight.
-It must have shrunk a bit.
-How about it, Dad? You wanna try my fIying piII now? Oh, aII right, I'II try it if you promise not to make any more.
-What am I supposed to do with it? -SwaIIow it.
SwaIIow it? Do you think it's safe? Oh, sure, Dad.
Go ahead, swaIIow it.
Okay.
Now fIy around the room, Dad.
Okay, but just once.
There, I fIew around the room.
Are you happy? And how! You were great.
Thanks a bunch! FIying piIIs.
What an imagination.
Hey, wait a minute.
I was fIying! That piII reaIIy works, EIroy! I can fIy! Oh, we'II be rich! My EIroy is a genius! Attaboy, Dad.
You're doing great! Oh, boy, this beats driving anytime.
OnIy thing is, how do I controI myseIf? Oh, this is ridicuIous.
Maybe I can spin myseIf straight.
Now for a fast running start.
I'm gonna break the sound barrier.
Better sIam on the brakes.
I did it! I'm starting to catch on! No hitchhikers, wise guy! Get off my windshieId! Darn hitchhikers get nervier every day.
Good thing I had that anti-hitchhiker kit instaIIed.
Boy, what a sorehead.
I better puII out of this dive fast before I hit bottom.
With aII the traffic in the sky these days the onIy safe pIace for us birds is on the ground.
Sunday driver! I guess us birds wiII just have to go underground.
UnbeIievabIe.
SimpIy unbeIievabIe.
I'II take a coupIe of spins around the house and then I'II break the good news to Janey.
Judy, have you seen your father? Not in the Iast five minutes.
-He just fIew by the window, Mother.
-He what? He-- He fIew by the window! Honest! This I gotta see.
Hiya, Janey! George Jetson! You come in the house this minute! Oh, boy.
My working days are over! Gee, Pop, you were sweII! Oh, this is it, kiddies.
The end of the rainbow our pot of goId.
And we owe it aII to my IittIe son EIroy.
George, what's going on? How come you can fIy Iike that? I took EIroy's fIying piII, and it reaIIy works.
I can fIy Iike a bird! Yeah, and aII I did was cut down on the uranium.
That's good thinking, EIroy.
This shouId mean a vice presidency for me at the pIant.
SpaceIy wiII put EIroy's piIIs into mass production and we can aII retire! Jumping Jupiter! We're gonna be rich! I.
I.
I just can't beIieve it! Better hurry, dear, or you'II be Iate for work.
I'm Ieaving right now.
So Iong, everybody! Maybe I shouId have the name of the company changed to ''Jetson and SpaceIy.
'' Or maybe just pIain ''Jetson.
'' That's better.
Good morning, Officer Ozone.
Morning, Jetson.
Get ahoId of yourseIf, Ozone.
It's probabIy just a space mirage.
Where's that Jetson? He's two minutes Iate and he.
So that's it! FIying around the buiIding on company time.
FIying around the buiIding?! -Good morning, Mr.
SpaceIy.
-Jetson! How did you do that? Funny you shouId ask, sir.
You see, my son EIroy, the scientist, has invented these fIight piIIs.
Just swaIIow one and you can fIy.
-ReaIIy? -AbsoIuteIy! WouId you care to join me in a fIight around the buiIding, sir? Why, Jetson, oId paI, I'd be deIighted.
You know, George I've aIways considered you good executive timber.
You mean Iike vice presidency? Yeah, yeah.
That's it.
A vice presidency.
Oh, I'II be right back, Miss GaIaxy.
Gonna buzz around the buiIding for a whiIe with Vice President Jetson.
HoId on, Mr.
SpaceIy.
Here we go! It's true! The piIIs work! Your boy is a genius.
We'II make him a vice president too.
SpaceIy Space Sprockets is saved! You'II be a fuII partner, George.
May even get a raise.
Now, go home and get EIroy to make some more fIying piIIs.
I'II show them to the board of directors.
Right, Mr.
SpaceIy.
I'II be back in a fIash.
Oh, I'd Iike to see oId CogsweII top this! WeII, gentIemen, we're ready to show you what the X-1 500 can do.
Cosmic Cogs is proud to demonstrate the newest wonder of the 21 st century.
This better be good.
We missed a high-IeveI cocktaiI party for this.
-Okay, HarIan.
Ready? -Ready, sir.
GentIemen, this is the X-1 500 the first fIight suit based on the brain wave principIe.
Mr.
HarIan here, a subordinate wiII now demonstrate smooth, quiet fIight.
What the--? That hurt, sir.
What is this, some kind of a joke, CogsweII? A joke? Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that HarIan, you know, is a card.
A IittIe joke he's pIaying on us.
Okay, HarIan, you're a reguIar riot.
Let's try it again.
I don't get it, Mr.
CogsweII, sir.
WiII you quit cIowning around? This is for money.
Now, Iet's try it again.
And they say ''Never remove your crash heImet.
'' WeII, CogsweII, can we get back to our high-IeveI cocktaiI party now? No, no.
Wait! I wiII supervise the demonstration myseIf, gentIemen.
But, Mr.
CogsweII, sir, Iisten, sir.
It's not working, sir.
Don't give me that.
I saw it work with my own eyes.
Now, make Iike a bird, wiII you? HeIp! Are you defying me, HarIan? Gee, thanks, Mr.
CogsweII.
You saved my Iife.
Let's face it, HarIan: With this fIight suit, we bombed.
No hurry cIeaning the suit this time.
Just send it back to CogsweII Cogs when it's ready.
Boy, that suit went out of styIe fast.
Hey, this is Mr.
Jetson's suit.
I must have given him the CogsweII suit by mistake.
I better get over there and straighten this out right away.
-Have you got any more fIying piIIs yet? -In a minute, Dad! Oh, George! The man from the cIeaners is here.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Jetson.
I gave you the wrong suit by mistake.
This is your suit.
Oh, okay, Iet me have it.
I'II switch suits right away.
Funny I didn't notice it but the fit was so good I thought it was mine.
There you are, Herb.
Now we both have the right suit.
Oh, thanks, Mrs.
Jetson.
I'II return this to its owner.
Bye.
Got those piIIs yet, EIroy? Here you are, Dad, a brand-new batch.
Thanks.
I'II take these to the pIant right away.
Mr.
SpaceIy wants me to demonstrate to his board of directors.
See you in orbit! HeIp! HeIp! George, what happened? How shouId I know? Just get me back in! Do something, quick! I don't get it, Dad.
I used the exact same formuIa.
WeII, how come I can't fIy anymore? I don't know.
It must have been some kind of ''scienterrific'' accident the first time.
It might not happen again for a miIIion years.
WeII, I can't wait that Iong.
What about Mr.
SpaceIy and the board of directors, George? I'II just have to teII them, I guess.
Boy, this has been the shortest vice presidency in history.
And gentIemen, I promise this invention wiII put SpaceIy Sprockets right on top of the heap.
-Mr.
Jetson is here, sir.
-Good, good.
Send him in.
You guys won't beIieve this.
-Mr.
SpaceIy, sir, I-- -George! -I shouId expIain, sir, that-- -Quiet, Jetson.
Give me those piIIs.
And now, gentIemen, for the first time anywhere I shaII personaIIy demonstrate our new fIying piII.
Mr.
SpaceIy, pIease! PIease Iet me expIain! Are you teIIing me how to run my business, Jetson? -No, sir.
-Then keep quiet.
Now it's off into the wiId bIue yonder! Pretty wiId, but I don't know about the bIue yonder.
I didn't quite reach escape veIocity that time, but I'II fix that.
Poor SpaceIy, he's finaIIy fIipped.
I knew it wouId happen someday.
I know these piIIs work.
Maybe I just need a stronger dose.
-Don't do it, Mr.
SpaceIy, don't do it! -Shut up, Jetson! Now, watch me make Iike a bird, gentIemen.
Geronimo! Don't panic, Mr.
SpaceIy, I'II save you! Jetson! You're fired! I wonder if he can do that to a vice president.
Now, wiII you pIease give me a chance to expIain? So the formuIa is Iost forever? For a miIIion years or so anyway, sir.
WeII, this means the end of SpaceIy Sprockets.
I may as weII caII CogsweII and give up.
He can have his merger.
I suppose you caIIed to rub it in, eh, SpaceIy? -Rub it in? -You know what I mean.
The X-1 500 fIying suit bombed out.
So if you'II excuse me it's time for me to throw darts at your picture.
Goodbye.
Oh, Mr.
CogsweII, sir the X-1 500 fIying suit is back from the cIeaners, sir.
What shaII I do with it, sir? Throw it out the window! What do I care? Yes, sir, sir.
The Iife on the open road.
Hey, what's this? Boy, I've heard of pennies from heaven, but suits? Never.
But who am I to Iook some gift threads in the mouth? Not bad.
Sort of gives the oId frame some cIass.
And away we go! Nothing Iike a new suit to give a guy a Iift, but this is ridicuIous! Oh, weII.
Might as weII fIy south for the winter.
Gosh, what a day.
I aImost became vice president and I aImost Iost my job.
No more get-rich schemes for me.
If I never Iive to see a guy fIy again, it'II be too soon.
No! I don't beIieve it! Oh, I'm sick! I gotta see a doctor.
HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!