The New Pope (2020) s01e08 Episode Script
Episode 8
1 How long do you think he intends to just sit there? Until we are convinced it was him.
Have you noticed that he makes no claim of responsibility for the attack? - That's unprecedented on their part.
- Okay, he convinced me.
It was him.
When you don't have proof, you don't have proof.
Why did you set Essence on Sofia Dubois? Essence is a ghostly figure, he knows how to point the way.
Nice move! You wanted the terrible triad to crash and burn, but I did instead.
- Fortunately, I landed on flowers.
- A temporary and calculated set back.
The terrible triad will be crashed even more, and you'll be right back in there.
It's time to take stock, Your Eminence.
You will have to direct your questions elsewhere.
I am a floriculturist now.
And I am, at least officially, propertyless.
Yet I manage a large part of the world out of my hotel room.
I'm sure you do the same from your glass house here.
I don't manage a thing, Bauer.
I merely offer advice, now and then.
Much heeded advice, it would seem.
Sofia leaked some photos of the young Brannox to an English newspaper.
Did you know he was a pathetic punk who hug around other losers just like himself? What a scoop! Let's see where it leads.
A brilliant move.
The world needs to feel some tenderness toward our current pontiff.
No, the world needs to forget about the other one! Which is why we have to help John Paul III.
He is weak and unresponsive.
What are you worried about, exactly? Exactly what am I? You don't know! You don't know! Okay The way he acted in that interview? He was in withdrawal, Voiello.
He is a drug addict.
I am unacquainted with addictive behavior.
Except regarding Napoli.
Spalletta's known for years, that's how he has been blackmailing him.
You're slipping, Voiello.
You are seriously uninformed.
Brannox is a lazy, self-centered coward.
He let things fall apart.
Now the evil triad has the run of the roost in business and in perversion.
Always and exclusively illegal.
Sooner or later, some reporter will get a whiff of the stench, and it'll all blow sky high.
We've reached the point of no return, my friend.
We can't keep piling problems on other problems.
We can't.
But I will need your approval first.
I need to think about it.
Think fast please.
We need the Vatican strong again, right now.
Probability calculation and history are both against you.
There will be another attack, you can count on that.
And there will be a proliferation of sex scandals, dozens more, given the fact that truth, for some people, is an ineradicable vice.
I need to go now.
But first, let me tell you two more things that will surprise you.
Don't you think you've surprised me enough for one day? No.
Number one: Francis II, that wasn't us.
We got there too late.
Falsehood is my own ineradicable vice.
Therefore, I would beg you not to inform me of any covered operations.
You will be interested in this, alright.
It was Lenny Belardo.
What are you saying? Lenny Belardo, in a coma, inexplicably moves his finger, and two seconds later, Francis II is dead.
We ran a crosscheck on the times.
It was a miracle, Voiello.
And the second surprise? Another miracle, I suppose? Exactly.
Lenny Belardo is woken up.
And he's coming back.
Bye Voiello! THE NEW POPE Episode 8 We prepared a few surprises for you.
Cherry Coke Zero, Your Holiness.
Your favorite drink.
He used to hide.
Now he shows his face.
Just like you, Your Holiness.
I'm not going to tell you who we are, and neither will you attorney.
I will ask you this only once.
Then I'm gonna count to seven.
By the time I reach seven, I expect an answer.
I'm not a huge fan of suspense, so I'd kindly ask you to let me have an answer by the time I reach four, at very most five.
I'm not gonna tell you what will happen if I have to count up to 7 for two reasons.
One: even a prisoner has the right to surprise.
Two: I seldom make threats.
Threats are a vulgar tool in the hands of organized crime.
And we are not criminals.
That's our perception, at least, and perception, my dear Faisal, is everything.
All the rest is the prerogative of that monotony simpletons insist on calling "reality".
At any rate, my question is disconcertingly simple.
Was it you? One, two, three, four.
As far as I'm concerned, that's an answer.
Is he here? - Who? - The pope? - John Paul III, I mean.
- No, he left.
- Where did he go? - To another Vatican property.
Eminence, please, might you be a little more precise? The Vatican owns more than 100000 properties.
To a chalet in the Dolomites.
Have you seen him? - Who? - Pius XIII.
- Not yet.
- What do you think? I was expecting this.
Catch me if you can.
I am aware that you had a rather privileged relationship with Pius XIII.
I advise you not to renew it.
For the moment, Pius XIII must be kept in isolation, and it is not necessary that he have any contact with the cardinals.
That is all, Gutierrez.
How is your toy boy? His name is Freddie, and I think he is fine.
Did he leave you? I deduce that he has.
Have you read my most recent circular? Severe measures will be taken against anyone engaging in questionable or unseemly relations.
I read it and complied.
Did you? You're still a little bit in love with him? You have a visitor.
Death does not announce his arrival, so who is it? It's a form of life.
- Sofia Dubois.
- No.
- I suggest "yes".
- Why Danny? Because this is your chance to return to what you have always been.
- A failure? - No.
A seductive man.
- How is Voiello? - Suffering.
Voiello's only concern is for the good of the Church.
Good for the Church may not coincide with what is good for me.
Please, Holy Father.
Voiello is good.
It's the others who are bad.
You have to believe me, seeing as how my husband is one of the bad ones.
I'm going to do something incredibly intimate, Holy Father.
Close your eyes.
What are you doing? Trying to make you feel like you're back at your castle.
The thing I miss about my castle is the sense of imprisonment, that others call freedom.
Are you trying to make me look handsome? Makeup is not about looking better.
It's about starting anew.
I can no longer see the beginning, I utterly embarrassed myself on worldwide telly.
Which is why I had to abandon everything.
Look at this.
THE PUNK POPE THE MOST BELOVED My goodness! Where did they get these photos? A mystery! One of the castle servants must have found it worthwhile to sell them.
- But that's not the big news.
- What's the big news? Is the Sex Pistols have reunited and have a plan to do me in? No.
The big news is that people like them.
These photographs have revealed the Holy Father's tender side.
And his ridiculous side? Simply glossed over? Yes, because we all feel ridiculous.
We have all been embarrassed.
Embarrassment leads not to abandonment, though, but to unity.
The tangible result? Travel agencies are experiencing a marked increase in the number of pilgrims requesting to come to Rome for the Angelus on Sunday.
Your enthusiasm for life is rather contagious.
But I have no intention of returning to Rome for the Angelus.
- Why not? - Because, I am no longer the pope.
I think that's something you ought to discuss directly with Pius XIII.
Sofia Do you know how to ski? What's all this? All the mail that children sent you while you were in a coma.
The letters from adults, we keep in another warehouse.
- Have you read any of them? - I've read all of them.
Would you read me one? That particularly struck you? Yeah.
This is from Nadja, 12 years old, from Auckland.
"Hi Lenny.
" "Ever since you fell asleep, my eight year old brother Mike" "can't get to sleep without you.
" "He is afraid.
" "Please wake up, Pope.
" "Mike needs to rest so he can go to school in the morning".
Forgive me.
I can't tolerate the thought of children suffering.
I need to see Voiello.
One day, when we were young, my twin brother Adam and I were skiing.
Adam had a bad fall, and careened head long into a tree.
His head was bleeding profusely, but all I would have to have done was get him off the mountain and he would have lived.
But I could not.
- Are you hurt? - I was scared.
And I still am.
- How are you? - Much better.
And me? How am I? Much better.
I was too strung out on heroin.
So, I just sat there and watched him bleed to death.
I was destroying a family, my one, by doing nothing.
It is by doing nothing that we destroy those precious jewel boxes that are our families.
After Adam's death, our parents abandoned me.
I respected them for that and hated them for the rest of my life.
It is burdensome to feel profoundly alone for a lifetime.
It has been in fact a dead life.
And God was not enough, nor was God wisdom nor God grace, nor God presence.
I have not been consoled.
- Compassion, I understand yes - No.
- You feel compassion.
- No, that's not the right word.
In my first address to the cardinals, I said that the problem is love.
The world suffers from distortions of love.
But I'd never imagined, until today, that I would be in the world.
Sick loves cannot be treated.
Which is why I need to feel your breath on my face once again.
Right here, at the corner of my mouth.
After which I will be compelled to keep my distance from you, forever.
In a moment, you will feel it.
- What am I? - An emeritus pope.
Like an honorary president.
- In general, they don't count.
- That makes two of us, Your Holiness.
You will always count, Voiello.
Popes will come and go, but you will remain.
You are not gonna ask me anything? How I woke up? Why I woke up? No, because even you don't know the answer and I am a pragmatic man.
In order to come see you, I left Girolamo home alone, a rather dangerous situation.
If I am here, it's not for a chit chat, or to reminisce about the old days.
Why did you come? For the same reason you asked me here.
For love of the Church and to be operational again.
- We have to lend the Church a hand.
- Exactly.
- Good.
Assente? - Nomen omen.
Assente in English means absent.
Let's leave him where he is for the moment.
We can work best behind the scenes, you and I.
You wrote that dreadful book on this topic: "The Man Behind the Scenes.
" 300000 copies sold, 11 re-printings, Your Holiness.
To label it "dreadful" seems rather ungenerous of you.
Let's proceed.
- The real problem is - Terrorism? Exactly.
First Lourdes, then Sain Peter's.
They're targeting the most vital centers of Catholicism.
What do you intend to do? - I intend to spark a revolution.
- An old obsession of yours.
They dared violate the Basilica of Saint Peter.
Doesn't that seem sufficient cause to you? How shall I make my return? You should begin with a discreet appearance in the Vatican gardens.
A visit to the sisters of the convent of Santa Teresa, perhaps.
Someone is bound to see you.
Rumors will start flying.
I will steal a photo of you: blurry, from a distance, which I will then leak to the media.
Everyone will get all stirred up.
Sofia Dubois will call a press conference and deny everything.
But will they believe her? Not on your life! Next, someone will try to interview Lindegard.
Who will be elusive, enigmatic and the world will be plagued with doubts.
- Did he wake up? Did he die? - Or did he rise from the dead? You are very persuasive, Voiello.
And now, get back to your friend Girolamo.
Right away, Your Holiness.
One last thing, Your Holiness.
When you were in coma, did you find out anything about Napoli? Will we win the Serie A? The Champions League perhaps? The Europa League? Yes, I did.
I know everything.
Do you remember Adam's millipede? He thought it was God.
But he was wrong, it was Satan.
Even Adam made mistakes.
I think it is time, Danny, that we return to Rome.
So, what is it this time? You would like to say mass? You want a female pope? Cardinal Voiello granted our institute authorization to welcome orphans.
- You revoked that authorization.
- Which is well within my jurisdiction.
But why did you do it? The Convent of Saint Teresa has long had a much more important mission: to serve and assist the pope and the cardinals of the Curia.
An euphemism for washing and ironing your underwear and sock for free.
We are perfectly capable of taking care of the pope, the cardinals, and orphans all at the same time.
No.
We will move ahead regardless.
With or without your authorization.
I highly doubt it.
I am unshakeable.
And, contrary to my predecessor, I am not fond of diplomacy or negotiating.
The question is closed.
Any step you take to counter my revocation will be severely punished.
You really don't care about orphans, do you? Someone else can care about them.
I have no intention of seeing a herd of screaming children grazing in the Vatican gardens.
I detest both children and orphans.
The Pope's face spoke clearly, Girolamo.
He had a sly expression as if to say it will go well.
I think he wanted to tell me that Napoli will win something, I don't know if it's the Champions League, or the Serie A title.
The Pope adores disappointing me, and yet he didn't say anything.
If he'd known, he would have said it straight out: "Voiello, nothing doing, Napoli will never win.
" But he didn't What do you say, Girolamo? Do you have a premonition? No, Girolamo, no.
Don't do this to me.
Cavallo, listen carefully! First they took Faisal, and now they're going to take my baby away too.
How did it go? Splendidly.
I detest both children and orphans.
- Now we must think about the funeral.
- I will take care of the funeral.
We shall have a funeral with all Girolamo's friends.
What friends? Girolamo only had me and you.
Allow me to be brutally honest, Franco.
You didn't understand a thing about Girolamo.
I did.
Only I understood him.
My condolences, Eminence.
I heard a friend of yours passed away.
My only friend.
Thank you.
My mentor Cardinal Newman wrote that "the specific duty of the Christian is to oppose the world.
" However I cannot do it alone but with you at my side, I can try.
On two conditions.
One: with your permission, I will eliminate Guicciardini, Spalletta and Tomas Altbruck.
And no government will take anything from the Church.
You will risk nothing.
Your private life will remain private.
You are the pope.
And no ones blackmails the pope.
No one touches the pope.
No one questions the pope.
Not as long as I am here to protect him.
Which is why, Holy Father, I was the longest standing Secretary of State in the history of the Church.
- And the second condition? - You must do me a favor.
If you do, I will return as your Secretary of State.
Hello, my dear.
Might you have half a minute for me? In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.
Amin.
- Peace be with you.
- And also with your spirit.
Love your neighbor as yourself, Jesus says.
I only have one neighbor: you, Girolamo.
I'm not very good at speaking in front of so many people.
With Girolamo, I spent many a simple, serene hour.
We didn't need to do grandiose things in order to be happy.
We didn't need to make grand speeches, between friends, silence is golden.
Why did I ask you all here today, in memory of Girolamo? To repair an injustice.
Because I am the only one who had the great good fortune of spending time with him.
I intend to right that wrong.
Which means I need to tell you who Girolamo is.
Girolamo is the world that suffers.
Girolamo is grace.
Girolamo is goodness and virtue.
Girolamo, I say this for all of you who were not fortunate enough to know him, is kind and cheerful, joyous, and full of life.
You're probably wondering: what does Girolamo like to do? Girolamo loves to talk, but he also likes to listen, and to give me advice.
He likes to watch TV and to listen to the radio together with me.
Girolamo loves to run and dance, to walk and sing and pray.
He loves to swim at the sunset, and flirt with the girls because Girolamo is a good looking boy and he loves to give them flowers, because Girolamo loves kindness.
Girolamo is everything we are not.
Which is why we have gathered here today, to celebrate him.
Because we are not like him.
And because we would like to be.
Which is why we contemplate and adore him.
Because Girolamo knows how to love, and how to be a true friend.
Which is why his friends have come here today and why there are so many.
Girolamo is a moral guide, which is why the leaders of his country are all here today.
Girolamo, my brothers and sisters, is a saint.
Which is why the pope himself wanted to say mass today.
Girolamo is the world that suffers.
Girolamo is the world that loves.
And I thank God for giving me the extraordinary opportunity to be his best friend.
Thank you, Girolamo.
You, and only you, who knew intimately the anguish of suffering, the beauty of sacrifice, and the power of love.
I will never forget you, Girolamo.
Never.
Truly impressive, the funeral you organized for that boy.
That's not all, I have also organized your transfer.
The Pope is very busy and delegated me to inform you.
You are no longer the Secretary of State.
- What nonsense! - Here's your resignation letter.
You only have to sign it.
I'm not resigning.
Why should I? Because the cloistered nuns, on my suggestion, recorded the embarrassing conversation you had with them, where you rail without compassion against children and orphans.
Pius XIII will be somewhat piqued to hear that the Secretary of State hates orphans.
- That's not enough, Voiello.
- Quite right.
That's why I enlisted the help of my magnificent assistant.
Hot off the press.
Cavallo, even undressed you manage to make me feel uneasy.
As you can see, you're both recognizable, engaged in unseemly somersaults, you and Don Luigi Cavallo.
It's quite outlandish because on this occasion you violate rules you yourself imposed with great strictness.
But I am a man of enormous class and I have not as yet apprised the Pope of all this, which is why we are discussing your transfer, instead of downgrading you to lay status.
Now, Assente, pick a destination you don't like, because that's where you'll go.
Siena, my hometown.
I've never liked it.
Eminence! In Siena we have Alfonso Balla.
That's right.
I'm sorry, my dear Assente, alas, there is already a very valid bishop in Siena.
As an alternative, Kabul comes to mind.
A generous choice, Eminence.
Hernández feels lonely there.
- You're a bad person, Voiello.
- No, I am an appalling person.
But useful.
I brought you something.
Spalletta! What the fuck's going on? Go ahead! Scroll through them.
There must be a video of the evening somewhere as well.
We filmed it all with a camera hidden among all these expensive bottles.
What do you want, Essence? Just one thing, one thing, one thing, one thing, times three: your resignations.
You as minister of the economy, you Altbruck, as head of the Vatican financial structure, and you, Spalletta, will be defrocked in two hours.
- In exchange for what? - In exchange for nothing.
- Who the hell are you? - For you, I am God.
I am the one who can save your asses, by letting these photos sit in my phone, or I can drown you in shit, by posting them and turning them over to the magistrate.
In order to avoid any misunderstanding, I remind you that my friend is a minor.
And finally a little warning: if any of you dare try and blackmail the Holy Father, I will simply Jesus Christ, Bauer, how silly of you! I was just about to issue a threat.
Ok, here is what's gonna happen: I'm gonna count to seven, and then it will be up to you to decide.
In theory, of course, not in practice.
In practice, I will decide.
Because I am God.
Just don't let word get around, it's a sensitive issue.
You see, Lisette, what you have been saying is that society is progressing, and the Church must keep pace with society.
But we are not champions of progress.
We are champions of faith.
We have a duty to be different, which is why we live with privations and sacrifices, while beyond these walls, life is comfort and pleasure.
At times, these privations and sacrifices seem incomprehensible, wrong to us.
But they are neither.
In truth, they are mysterious.
We have a duty to be mysterious as well.
This is our strength.
Out there, society is predictable.
And whatever is predictable is also puerile.
Am I saying that everything must remain exactly as it is? Not at all.
But you sisters are already different and mysterious.
The priests, on the other hand, have moved too close to civil society.
So, it is not a matter of extending to you sisters the rights and privileges of the priests, but rather of extending to the priests the duties and the privations of you nuns.
This is the only equality that is truly feasible in the Church.
The priests must do your laundry, just as you do theirs.
They must look, within themselves, to find your grace, your generosity, your intelligence, and your love.
Your righteousness will become their righteousness.
But that's not to say that their sins will become your sins.
Which of you is without sin? Fine.
Whoever is without sin shall cast the first stone.
This would be a psychologically mature relationship, as you would call it, between men and women, Lisette.
Tomorrow, at noon, I want this photo everywhere.
Fine.
Are you happy we did in that idiot ex-husband of yours? Up to a point.
But he will go unpunished for what he did.
True punishment is served not in prison, Sofia, but in one's soul.
Sir John must make up his mind to meet Pius XIII.
- I agree.
- You will have to convince him.
No, not me.
Fine.
I'll convince him, then.
Lenny Belardo has come out of his coma and in the photo he looks healthy.
The Catholic world is in total turmoil.
A photograph A photo is circulating of Pius XIII in good health "What is to be done?" as Lenin used to ask.
I have two ideas.
The first: an official denial so as to calm agitated souls.
We can release a statement: "That picture of Lenny Belardo is nothing but an old photograph.
" That will convince no one.
True, but it will insinuate doubt.
And doubt is a weapon.
And your second idea? - To reinforce you, Holy Father.
- How? With the golden opportunity that you are being offered: your Angelus.
The popularity of those photos of you as a punk leads us to believe that hordes of people will come in Sunday.
Regardless, Holy Father, even though it is not our habit, we have to make a decision about the future.
What do you mean? We cannot confine Pius XIII to an apartment his whole life.
What do you recommend we do? That is a decision only you and Pius XIII can decide.
But how? By meeting.
Have you noticed that he makes no claim of responsibility for the attack? - That's unprecedented on their part.
- Okay, he convinced me.
It was him.
When you don't have proof, you don't have proof.
Why did you set Essence on Sofia Dubois? Essence is a ghostly figure, he knows how to point the way.
Nice move! You wanted the terrible triad to crash and burn, but I did instead.
- Fortunately, I landed on flowers.
- A temporary and calculated set back.
The terrible triad will be crashed even more, and you'll be right back in there.
It's time to take stock, Your Eminence.
You will have to direct your questions elsewhere.
I am a floriculturist now.
And I am, at least officially, propertyless.
Yet I manage a large part of the world out of my hotel room.
I'm sure you do the same from your glass house here.
I don't manage a thing, Bauer.
I merely offer advice, now and then.
Much heeded advice, it would seem.
Sofia leaked some photos of the young Brannox to an English newspaper.
Did you know he was a pathetic punk who hug around other losers just like himself? What a scoop! Let's see where it leads.
A brilliant move.
The world needs to feel some tenderness toward our current pontiff.
No, the world needs to forget about the other one! Which is why we have to help John Paul III.
He is weak and unresponsive.
What are you worried about, exactly? Exactly what am I? You don't know! You don't know! Okay The way he acted in that interview? He was in withdrawal, Voiello.
He is a drug addict.
I am unacquainted with addictive behavior.
Except regarding Napoli.
Spalletta's known for years, that's how he has been blackmailing him.
You're slipping, Voiello.
You are seriously uninformed.
Brannox is a lazy, self-centered coward.
He let things fall apart.
Now the evil triad has the run of the roost in business and in perversion.
Always and exclusively illegal.
Sooner or later, some reporter will get a whiff of the stench, and it'll all blow sky high.
We've reached the point of no return, my friend.
We can't keep piling problems on other problems.
We can't.
But I will need your approval first.
I need to think about it.
Think fast please.
We need the Vatican strong again, right now.
Probability calculation and history are both against you.
There will be another attack, you can count on that.
And there will be a proliferation of sex scandals, dozens more, given the fact that truth, for some people, is an ineradicable vice.
I need to go now.
But first, let me tell you two more things that will surprise you.
Don't you think you've surprised me enough for one day? No.
Number one: Francis II, that wasn't us.
We got there too late.
Falsehood is my own ineradicable vice.
Therefore, I would beg you not to inform me of any covered operations.
You will be interested in this, alright.
It was Lenny Belardo.
What are you saying? Lenny Belardo, in a coma, inexplicably moves his finger, and two seconds later, Francis II is dead.
We ran a crosscheck on the times.
It was a miracle, Voiello.
And the second surprise? Another miracle, I suppose? Exactly.
Lenny Belardo is woken up.
And he's coming back.
Bye Voiello! THE NEW POPE Episode 8 We prepared a few surprises for you.
Cherry Coke Zero, Your Holiness.
Your favorite drink.
He used to hide.
Now he shows his face.
Just like you, Your Holiness.
I'm not going to tell you who we are, and neither will you attorney.
I will ask you this only once.
Then I'm gonna count to seven.
By the time I reach seven, I expect an answer.
I'm not a huge fan of suspense, so I'd kindly ask you to let me have an answer by the time I reach four, at very most five.
I'm not gonna tell you what will happen if I have to count up to 7 for two reasons.
One: even a prisoner has the right to surprise.
Two: I seldom make threats.
Threats are a vulgar tool in the hands of organized crime.
And we are not criminals.
That's our perception, at least, and perception, my dear Faisal, is everything.
All the rest is the prerogative of that monotony simpletons insist on calling "reality".
At any rate, my question is disconcertingly simple.
Was it you? One, two, three, four.
As far as I'm concerned, that's an answer.
Is he here? - Who? - The pope? - John Paul III, I mean.
- No, he left.
- Where did he go? - To another Vatican property.
Eminence, please, might you be a little more precise? The Vatican owns more than 100000 properties.
To a chalet in the Dolomites.
Have you seen him? - Who? - Pius XIII.
- Not yet.
- What do you think? I was expecting this.
Catch me if you can.
I am aware that you had a rather privileged relationship with Pius XIII.
I advise you not to renew it.
For the moment, Pius XIII must be kept in isolation, and it is not necessary that he have any contact with the cardinals.
That is all, Gutierrez.
How is your toy boy? His name is Freddie, and I think he is fine.
Did he leave you? I deduce that he has.
Have you read my most recent circular? Severe measures will be taken against anyone engaging in questionable or unseemly relations.
I read it and complied.
Did you? You're still a little bit in love with him? You have a visitor.
Death does not announce his arrival, so who is it? It's a form of life.
- Sofia Dubois.
- No.
- I suggest "yes".
- Why Danny? Because this is your chance to return to what you have always been.
- A failure? - No.
A seductive man.
- How is Voiello? - Suffering.
Voiello's only concern is for the good of the Church.
Good for the Church may not coincide with what is good for me.
Please, Holy Father.
Voiello is good.
It's the others who are bad.
You have to believe me, seeing as how my husband is one of the bad ones.
I'm going to do something incredibly intimate, Holy Father.
Close your eyes.
What are you doing? Trying to make you feel like you're back at your castle.
The thing I miss about my castle is the sense of imprisonment, that others call freedom.
Are you trying to make me look handsome? Makeup is not about looking better.
It's about starting anew.
I can no longer see the beginning, I utterly embarrassed myself on worldwide telly.
Which is why I had to abandon everything.
Look at this.
THE PUNK POPE THE MOST BELOVED My goodness! Where did they get these photos? A mystery! One of the castle servants must have found it worthwhile to sell them.
- But that's not the big news.
- What's the big news? Is the Sex Pistols have reunited and have a plan to do me in? No.
The big news is that people like them.
These photographs have revealed the Holy Father's tender side.
And his ridiculous side? Simply glossed over? Yes, because we all feel ridiculous.
We have all been embarrassed.
Embarrassment leads not to abandonment, though, but to unity.
The tangible result? Travel agencies are experiencing a marked increase in the number of pilgrims requesting to come to Rome for the Angelus on Sunday.
Your enthusiasm for life is rather contagious.
But I have no intention of returning to Rome for the Angelus.
- Why not? - Because, I am no longer the pope.
I think that's something you ought to discuss directly with Pius XIII.
Sofia Do you know how to ski? What's all this? All the mail that children sent you while you were in a coma.
The letters from adults, we keep in another warehouse.
- Have you read any of them? - I've read all of them.
Would you read me one? That particularly struck you? Yeah.
This is from Nadja, 12 years old, from Auckland.
"Hi Lenny.
" "Ever since you fell asleep, my eight year old brother Mike" "can't get to sleep without you.
" "He is afraid.
" "Please wake up, Pope.
" "Mike needs to rest so he can go to school in the morning".
Forgive me.
I can't tolerate the thought of children suffering.
I need to see Voiello.
One day, when we were young, my twin brother Adam and I were skiing.
Adam had a bad fall, and careened head long into a tree.
His head was bleeding profusely, but all I would have to have done was get him off the mountain and he would have lived.
But I could not.
- Are you hurt? - I was scared.
And I still am.
- How are you? - Much better.
And me? How am I? Much better.
I was too strung out on heroin.
So, I just sat there and watched him bleed to death.
I was destroying a family, my one, by doing nothing.
It is by doing nothing that we destroy those precious jewel boxes that are our families.
After Adam's death, our parents abandoned me.
I respected them for that and hated them for the rest of my life.
It is burdensome to feel profoundly alone for a lifetime.
It has been in fact a dead life.
And God was not enough, nor was God wisdom nor God grace, nor God presence.
I have not been consoled.
- Compassion, I understand yes - No.
- You feel compassion.
- No, that's not the right word.
In my first address to the cardinals, I said that the problem is love.
The world suffers from distortions of love.
But I'd never imagined, until today, that I would be in the world.
Sick loves cannot be treated.
Which is why I need to feel your breath on my face once again.
Right here, at the corner of my mouth.
After which I will be compelled to keep my distance from you, forever.
In a moment, you will feel it.
- What am I? - An emeritus pope.
Like an honorary president.
- In general, they don't count.
- That makes two of us, Your Holiness.
You will always count, Voiello.
Popes will come and go, but you will remain.
You are not gonna ask me anything? How I woke up? Why I woke up? No, because even you don't know the answer and I am a pragmatic man.
In order to come see you, I left Girolamo home alone, a rather dangerous situation.
If I am here, it's not for a chit chat, or to reminisce about the old days.
Why did you come? For the same reason you asked me here.
For love of the Church and to be operational again.
- We have to lend the Church a hand.
- Exactly.
- Good.
Assente? - Nomen omen.
Assente in English means absent.
Let's leave him where he is for the moment.
We can work best behind the scenes, you and I.
You wrote that dreadful book on this topic: "The Man Behind the Scenes.
" 300000 copies sold, 11 re-printings, Your Holiness.
To label it "dreadful" seems rather ungenerous of you.
Let's proceed.
- The real problem is - Terrorism? Exactly.
First Lourdes, then Sain Peter's.
They're targeting the most vital centers of Catholicism.
What do you intend to do? - I intend to spark a revolution.
- An old obsession of yours.
They dared violate the Basilica of Saint Peter.
Doesn't that seem sufficient cause to you? How shall I make my return? You should begin with a discreet appearance in the Vatican gardens.
A visit to the sisters of the convent of Santa Teresa, perhaps.
Someone is bound to see you.
Rumors will start flying.
I will steal a photo of you: blurry, from a distance, which I will then leak to the media.
Everyone will get all stirred up.
Sofia Dubois will call a press conference and deny everything.
But will they believe her? Not on your life! Next, someone will try to interview Lindegard.
Who will be elusive, enigmatic and the world will be plagued with doubts.
- Did he wake up? Did he die? - Or did he rise from the dead? You are very persuasive, Voiello.
And now, get back to your friend Girolamo.
Right away, Your Holiness.
One last thing, Your Holiness.
When you were in coma, did you find out anything about Napoli? Will we win the Serie A? The Champions League perhaps? The Europa League? Yes, I did.
I know everything.
Do you remember Adam's millipede? He thought it was God.
But he was wrong, it was Satan.
Even Adam made mistakes.
I think it is time, Danny, that we return to Rome.
So, what is it this time? You would like to say mass? You want a female pope? Cardinal Voiello granted our institute authorization to welcome orphans.
- You revoked that authorization.
- Which is well within my jurisdiction.
But why did you do it? The Convent of Saint Teresa has long had a much more important mission: to serve and assist the pope and the cardinals of the Curia.
An euphemism for washing and ironing your underwear and sock for free.
We are perfectly capable of taking care of the pope, the cardinals, and orphans all at the same time.
No.
We will move ahead regardless.
With or without your authorization.
I highly doubt it.
I am unshakeable.
And, contrary to my predecessor, I am not fond of diplomacy or negotiating.
The question is closed.
Any step you take to counter my revocation will be severely punished.
You really don't care about orphans, do you? Someone else can care about them.
I have no intention of seeing a herd of screaming children grazing in the Vatican gardens.
I detest both children and orphans.
The Pope's face spoke clearly, Girolamo.
He had a sly expression as if to say it will go well.
I think he wanted to tell me that Napoli will win something, I don't know if it's the Champions League, or the Serie A title.
The Pope adores disappointing me, and yet he didn't say anything.
If he'd known, he would have said it straight out: "Voiello, nothing doing, Napoli will never win.
" But he didn't What do you say, Girolamo? Do you have a premonition? No, Girolamo, no.
Don't do this to me.
Cavallo, listen carefully! First they took Faisal, and now they're going to take my baby away too.
How did it go? Splendidly.
I detest both children and orphans.
- Now we must think about the funeral.
- I will take care of the funeral.
We shall have a funeral with all Girolamo's friends.
What friends? Girolamo only had me and you.
Allow me to be brutally honest, Franco.
You didn't understand a thing about Girolamo.
I did.
Only I understood him.
My condolences, Eminence.
I heard a friend of yours passed away.
My only friend.
Thank you.
My mentor Cardinal Newman wrote that "the specific duty of the Christian is to oppose the world.
" However I cannot do it alone but with you at my side, I can try.
On two conditions.
One: with your permission, I will eliminate Guicciardini, Spalletta and Tomas Altbruck.
And no government will take anything from the Church.
You will risk nothing.
Your private life will remain private.
You are the pope.
And no ones blackmails the pope.
No one touches the pope.
No one questions the pope.
Not as long as I am here to protect him.
Which is why, Holy Father, I was the longest standing Secretary of State in the history of the Church.
- And the second condition? - You must do me a favor.
If you do, I will return as your Secretary of State.
Hello, my dear.
Might you have half a minute for me? In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost.
Amin.
- Peace be with you.
- And also with your spirit.
Love your neighbor as yourself, Jesus says.
I only have one neighbor: you, Girolamo.
I'm not very good at speaking in front of so many people.
With Girolamo, I spent many a simple, serene hour.
We didn't need to do grandiose things in order to be happy.
We didn't need to make grand speeches, between friends, silence is golden.
Why did I ask you all here today, in memory of Girolamo? To repair an injustice.
Because I am the only one who had the great good fortune of spending time with him.
I intend to right that wrong.
Which means I need to tell you who Girolamo is.
Girolamo is the world that suffers.
Girolamo is grace.
Girolamo is goodness and virtue.
Girolamo, I say this for all of you who were not fortunate enough to know him, is kind and cheerful, joyous, and full of life.
You're probably wondering: what does Girolamo like to do? Girolamo loves to talk, but he also likes to listen, and to give me advice.
He likes to watch TV and to listen to the radio together with me.
Girolamo loves to run and dance, to walk and sing and pray.
He loves to swim at the sunset, and flirt with the girls because Girolamo is a good looking boy and he loves to give them flowers, because Girolamo loves kindness.
Girolamo is everything we are not.
Which is why we have gathered here today, to celebrate him.
Because we are not like him.
And because we would like to be.
Which is why we contemplate and adore him.
Because Girolamo knows how to love, and how to be a true friend.
Which is why his friends have come here today and why there are so many.
Girolamo is a moral guide, which is why the leaders of his country are all here today.
Girolamo, my brothers and sisters, is a saint.
Which is why the pope himself wanted to say mass today.
Girolamo is the world that suffers.
Girolamo is the world that loves.
And I thank God for giving me the extraordinary opportunity to be his best friend.
Thank you, Girolamo.
You, and only you, who knew intimately the anguish of suffering, the beauty of sacrifice, and the power of love.
I will never forget you, Girolamo.
Never.
Truly impressive, the funeral you organized for that boy.
That's not all, I have also organized your transfer.
The Pope is very busy and delegated me to inform you.
You are no longer the Secretary of State.
- What nonsense! - Here's your resignation letter.
You only have to sign it.
I'm not resigning.
Why should I? Because the cloistered nuns, on my suggestion, recorded the embarrassing conversation you had with them, where you rail without compassion against children and orphans.
Pius XIII will be somewhat piqued to hear that the Secretary of State hates orphans.
- That's not enough, Voiello.
- Quite right.
That's why I enlisted the help of my magnificent assistant.
Hot off the press.
Cavallo, even undressed you manage to make me feel uneasy.
As you can see, you're both recognizable, engaged in unseemly somersaults, you and Don Luigi Cavallo.
It's quite outlandish because on this occasion you violate rules you yourself imposed with great strictness.
But I am a man of enormous class and I have not as yet apprised the Pope of all this, which is why we are discussing your transfer, instead of downgrading you to lay status.
Now, Assente, pick a destination you don't like, because that's where you'll go.
Siena, my hometown.
I've never liked it.
Eminence! In Siena we have Alfonso Balla.
That's right.
I'm sorry, my dear Assente, alas, there is already a very valid bishop in Siena.
As an alternative, Kabul comes to mind.
A generous choice, Eminence.
Hernández feels lonely there.
- You're a bad person, Voiello.
- No, I am an appalling person.
But useful.
I brought you something.
Spalletta! What the fuck's going on? Go ahead! Scroll through them.
There must be a video of the evening somewhere as well.
We filmed it all with a camera hidden among all these expensive bottles.
What do you want, Essence? Just one thing, one thing, one thing, one thing, times three: your resignations.
You as minister of the economy, you Altbruck, as head of the Vatican financial structure, and you, Spalletta, will be defrocked in two hours.
- In exchange for what? - In exchange for nothing.
- Who the hell are you? - For you, I am God.
I am the one who can save your asses, by letting these photos sit in my phone, or I can drown you in shit, by posting them and turning them over to the magistrate.
In order to avoid any misunderstanding, I remind you that my friend is a minor.
And finally a little warning: if any of you dare try and blackmail the Holy Father, I will simply Jesus Christ, Bauer, how silly of you! I was just about to issue a threat.
Ok, here is what's gonna happen: I'm gonna count to seven, and then it will be up to you to decide.
In theory, of course, not in practice.
In practice, I will decide.
Because I am God.
Just don't let word get around, it's a sensitive issue.
You see, Lisette, what you have been saying is that society is progressing, and the Church must keep pace with society.
But we are not champions of progress.
We are champions of faith.
We have a duty to be different, which is why we live with privations and sacrifices, while beyond these walls, life is comfort and pleasure.
At times, these privations and sacrifices seem incomprehensible, wrong to us.
But they are neither.
In truth, they are mysterious.
We have a duty to be mysterious as well.
This is our strength.
Out there, society is predictable.
And whatever is predictable is also puerile.
Am I saying that everything must remain exactly as it is? Not at all.
But you sisters are already different and mysterious.
The priests, on the other hand, have moved too close to civil society.
So, it is not a matter of extending to you sisters the rights and privileges of the priests, but rather of extending to the priests the duties and the privations of you nuns.
This is the only equality that is truly feasible in the Church.
The priests must do your laundry, just as you do theirs.
They must look, within themselves, to find your grace, your generosity, your intelligence, and your love.
Your righteousness will become their righteousness.
But that's not to say that their sins will become your sins.
Which of you is without sin? Fine.
Whoever is without sin shall cast the first stone.
This would be a psychologically mature relationship, as you would call it, between men and women, Lisette.
Tomorrow, at noon, I want this photo everywhere.
Fine.
Are you happy we did in that idiot ex-husband of yours? Up to a point.
But he will go unpunished for what he did.
True punishment is served not in prison, Sofia, but in one's soul.
Sir John must make up his mind to meet Pius XIII.
- I agree.
- You will have to convince him.
No, not me.
Fine.
I'll convince him, then.
Lenny Belardo has come out of his coma and in the photo he looks healthy.
The Catholic world is in total turmoil.
A photograph A photo is circulating of Pius XIII in good health "What is to be done?" as Lenin used to ask.
I have two ideas.
The first: an official denial so as to calm agitated souls.
We can release a statement: "That picture of Lenny Belardo is nothing but an old photograph.
" That will convince no one.
True, but it will insinuate doubt.
And doubt is a weapon.
And your second idea? - To reinforce you, Holy Father.
- How? With the golden opportunity that you are being offered: your Angelus.
The popularity of those photos of you as a punk leads us to believe that hordes of people will come in Sunday.
Regardless, Holy Father, even though it is not our habit, we have to make a decision about the future.
What do you mean? We cannot confine Pius XIII to an apartment his whole life.
What do you recommend we do? That is a decision only you and Pius XIII can decide.
But how? By meeting.