The Proud Family (2001) s01e08 Episode Script

Go ahead, Mongo, get him!
Put him in a sleeper hold.
Mama! Let go!
Suga Mama, let daddy
go! You're choking him.
I'm sorry, boy.
I thought you were the pillow.
I always said you
were a little soft.
I'm not soft!
Come on, arm wrestling.
You and me. Right now.
Go on now, boy.
I don't want to embarrass
you in front of your own child.
Whoa! Too late!
I wasn't ready! You cheated!
Don't worry, daddy.
You'll beat her next time.
No, uh-uh, I'm going
to beat her right now.
Come on!
- Mmm, curly fry.
- Daddy, they're hot.
That's okay, baby girl.
That's the way I like them.
Man, I haven't had curly fries
since your Mama wanted
to take that trip to Hawaii.
Okay, how much is
this all going to cost me?
Daddy, that's not why I did it.
I just wanted to
ask you something.
I hope it's not a
homework question.
You'll be making them
curly fries for a living.
Well, if she makes them like
this, she'll be running things.
Go ahead, baby girl.
Tell daddy what you want.
Is it okay for me
to go on a date?
Baby girl, we've been
through this before.
No dating until
after you're married.
Come on, daddy, that's not fair.
You always treat me like a baby.
That's because you are my baby.
No, I'm not.
According to the
blood test, you are.
Mommy!
Tell daddy I'm not
a baby anymore.
I don't know, Penny.
You aren't very convincing
doing all that whining and crying.
You guys are so rated "g."
Oscar
you should at least talk
to her and explain why.
No. I don't have to
explain myself to a child.
I'm raising her the same way
I was raised. Right, Mama?
Well, we never said
you couldn't date.
Well, how come I never had one?
I don't know. Probably
'cause you couldn't get one.
Come on, Mama! One
more time. Put 'em up!
Oh, go on now, boy.
I don't want to embarrass
you in front of your own wife.
Whoops! Too late!
The Proud family ♪
what? ♪
You and me will
always be tight ♪
family, every
single day and night ♪
even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
you know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
and every day as I'm
heading off to school ♪
you know there's no
one I love as much as you ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud family ♪
they'll make you scream ♪
they'll make
you want to sing ♪
it's a family
thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
the Proud family ♪
they'll push your buttons ♪
and make you
want to hug them ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
Hey Felix, what's going on?
Weird stuff, man.
I can't find the keys
to my home theater.
Can we watch the game with you?
Sure thing, Felix.
Mi casa es su casa.
Ain't that right, Papi?
All I want to hear you say is
my bathroom is your bathroom.
What did he say?
Who knows? I don't
even know what you say.
You guys get the game.
I'll get the grub.
Hey, Oscar, what's
wrong with your TV?
You can only get chick
channels on this thing.
What are you talking
about? That TV is all man.
Well, right now, it's all Oprah.
Give me that.
Oprah? Sally?
Ricky? All drama?
Oh, no, my TV is a she-v!
Yeah, slap a bonnet
on it and call it "Irene."
Trudy!
Yes, Oscar?
What have you done to my TV?
You mean "the man-block?"
What?
It's when you block out all
the channels that men like:
Sports, three stooges
and anything with
Pamela Anderson in it.
But, baby, w-why?
See you guys, I'm out.
Well, wait a minute, young lady.
I need you here
to watch the twins.
But mom, I'm going to the
wild, wild, world amusement park
with my friends.
Well, I hope they're
not some wild, wild boys.
My girlfriends, daddy.
Don't worry. Lacienega's
mom is driving.
Right, I forgot.
But you have to take
the twins with you, Penny.
Why?
Your father and I have a date.
A date? With you?
You got a date
with your wife! ♪
You've got one too, Felix.
As much fun as that
sounds, you and I on a date,
I don't think sunset
would appreciate that.
Yes, she will, because
she's going along.
It's a double date.
You got a date
with your wife, too!
Suga Mama can watch them.
No, I can't. I got a date, too.
- With who?
- Papi.
Hmm My day just got ugly.
Everybody ready? Let's go!
Hey, w-wait a minute.
Where we going now?
W-Where we going?
What's going on?
You'll find out
when we get there.
Whoo! I thought
they'd never leave.
Papi, you make the
punch, I'll make the calls.
It's time to party.
No. It's finally time
to go take a nap.
Wow, I've never been
in a police car before.
That was cool.
Girls, we'll be back
at 10:00. Have fun!
Remember, no boys!
That was not cool.
Don't worry.
The embarrassment goes
away once the car disappears.
No, the car's gone and
I'm still embarrassed.
Whatever, goofy.
It's time to have fun.
Yeah, where are the guys?
They're supposed to be here now.
Guys? Nobody said
anything about guys.
I thought it was just us girls.
You're kidding, right?
Yeah, girl!
I'm just practicing my lines
for my dad You know.
Oh.
Get ready for kick-off, ladies.
Football team at 12:00.
We've got a halfback, a
wideout, ooh, a strong safety
and a team bus.
Let me see.
Oh, you don't need
binoculars to see this one.
Check out Gordito.
Wow.
Girl, I thought he
was one of the rides.
He's not my date.
He's not mine, either.
Okay, okay. This
is what we'll do.
The first boy that talks to
you is the boy you're with.
Hey, who elected you queen bee?
Why do we always
have to do what you say?
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
What's up, Lacienega?
Remember me? Carlos,
from the fifth grade.
Good idea, Lacienega.
Yeah, I'm with it.
Lacienega, you're the man, girl.
Hey, guys!
Y'all ready to get
on some rides?
They're driving
down the wrong street
if they think they can put one
over on Lacienega Boulevardez.
Well, what do you know?
Two little speed bumps.
Well, I think you're
cute too, Nick.
Oh, Penny,
you didn't forget about your precious
Proud pumpkin-heads, did you?
Don't go anywhere,
Nick. I'll be right back.
Whee!
Uh! Uh, where'd Nick go?
Lacienega said you like big
guys, so we decided to switch.
Ooh, I can't stand her!
Oh, don't be mad at her.
I don't mind.
You kind of skinny,
but you cool with me.
Penny!
Come on, we getting on the ride!
Come on, shorty, let's go.
Who are you calling a shorty?
All right, big boy,
didn't you read the sign?
Wait, wait, wait.
I can fit, watch.
Hold it, hold it.
I can't breathe.
I can't, either!
Ow!
See? I told you I could fit.
Tell somebody that cares.
Penny!
Why don't you and your man
get off so we can get our ride on?
Come on, Carlos.
Hey, Carlos, I know a
place where you could fit in
The food court.
Ooh, why did you let her
dis you like that, Carlos?
My Mama always said,
"don't get mad, get even."
So, when do you
plan on doing that?
After we go to the food court.
I'm hungry.
Trudy, will you take
this blindfold off?
We better not be in a
women's shoe store.
Smells like we're in a
cheap perfume shop.
Ow!
What are we doing in a hospital?
Uh, uh, Oscar?
I know this trick.
We tried this on Papi last year.
They're having us committed.
No!
You know, Trudy, committing
them isn't a bad idea.
Guys, the only commitment
you're making today is to us.
Oh, no. We're renewing our vows!
No!
Oscar, we're at a day spa.
We're here to relax and
spend some time together.
Now, that side is for the men
and this side is for the women.
But I thought we were
supposed to be together.
Felix, if you weren't going to
cooperate why did you come?
Ladies, right this way.
Trudy, I'm not going anywhere
with old lady in a shoe over there.
Oscar, four hours, that's all.
Is that asking too much?
Are you gentlemen
ready to be pampered?
I'll raise you four hours
with another four hours?
See you at sundown, sunset.
Yay, yay! ♪
Okay.
Put these robes on and get
ready for an old fashioned rubdown.
Yay, yay! ♪
Dr. Payne, w-what
are you doing here?
It's my world, fool!
"Dr. Payne's
world of relaxation."
Now lay down, suckers!
You're in Dr. Payne's hands now.
No!
What's wrong, Penny?
Aren't you hungry?
No! I came to the
park to get on rides.
Oh, I'm sorry, Penny.
We can go on "downfall."
I been on that ride before.
Huh?
No, that's okay.
I'm afraid of
I'm just afraid, okay?
How about the merry-go-round?
Yeah! I like the merry-go-round.
I can fit on that one.
Carlos, can you wait right here?
I have to go check on the twins.
I'll roll with you.
This horse is tired.
And so are you.
What I'm trying
to say, Carlos, is
That I came here to have fun.
Look at those kids!
Somebody help them!
Penny, is that your
brother and sister?
Bebe! Cece!
That's my brother
and sister up there.
They're going to get hurt.
Stop the roller coaster.
I can't. It's stuck.
How did they get up there?
Oh, they must have snuck on.
Get them down now!
Oops.
We got a runaway train.
What do you do when
there's a runaway train?
Run away!
Carlos, do something!
Don't worry, Penny.
I'll save them!
I know I could
sit in those seats.
You were so brave.
Thank you, Carlos.
Oh, ain't no big thing.
Which color do you prefer?
Ruby red or shimmering sunshine?
Oh, I definitely
like to shimmer.
This is the life, huh, Trudy?
I sure hope the guys are
having as good a time as we are.
You look tense, Proud.
You need to loosen up and relax.
I can't.
Don't worry.
Dr. Pain will get the kinks out.
Oh, no. No, thanks.
I'll keep the kinks.
How do you feel, Proud?
Don't come near me.
You almost You quack!
Wait a minute.
I feel good.
The kinks are all gone.
Of course they are.
I'm a professional.
You better recognize
Boulevardez, what
you rolling out to?
How do you feel?
I feel I feel great!
My kinks are gone, too.
I even lost some weight.
Of course you did,
and you're going to lose
even more when you pay me.
This treatment's going to
knock some sense into you.
Here ye. Here ye.
Who amongst you can
wield the mighty Mjollnir,
the hammer of Thor,
and send the evil hun
beyond the clouds to Asgard
to meet his maker, Odin?
Step right up.
Do battle with the gods.
What is he talking about?
It's Norse mythology.
Asgard is the home of the gods.
Thor, the son of Odin,
is the god of thunder.
He's so bad, there's a
day named after him
Thursday.
How did you know all of that?
I love mythology.
More than butter in the
middle of my popcorn.
Uh, would you like
one of these dolls?
Sure.
Hey, mister, I would
like that doll right there.
I only speak to paying
customers, wimpy.
Either drop some
cash or make a dash.
Come on, Carlos.
Let's get out of here.
No. It's guys like him that
made me an all-city lineman.
Wow!
Look at that sucker go.
He's halfway to Valhalla.
- For you, Penny.
- Thank you, Carlos.
Carlos, I really
had a good time.
Me, too.
You didn't think you could have
a good time with me, did you?
No, I didn't.
But you know
what? I'm glad I did.
What happened to you guys?
We went on that wild,
wild wet world ride.
You know, the one where you
go upside down into the lake?
And guess what? You get wet.
Where are the boys?
They better be
getting us some towels.
Do you mean those
boys over there?
With those other girls?
I guess that makes it unanimous.
Yup. I guess we
all had a bad time.
No. Carlos and I
had a great time.
He even won this
Teddy bear for me.
A pie-eating contest? Perhaps?
You know what, Lacienega?
If you say one more thing
That's okay, Penny.
I'm bigger than that.
That you are.
Well, I guess we've got to go.
That's my mom and dad.
All right.
Well I'll see you
around shorty.
I hope so.
And I still want to know who
that boy was you were talking to.
Daddy! It's just somebody
I ran into at the park.
Ooh, must have dozed off.
You kids have a good time?
Oh, we had a great
time, Suga Mama.
What about you, Mama?
What have you been up to?
Why do I always have
to be up to something?
Because you always are.
Well, you know,
it it really hurts me
that you don't
trust your own ma.
I don't trust you
or my daughter.
Penny, I told you, no dating.
Daddy, why are you tripping?
Hey, Carlos.
What are you doing here?
You left your stuffed
animal at the park.
Oh, thank you, Carlos.
That was really nice
of you to bring it by.
I just wanted to
make sure you had it.
Well
I'll be seeing you.
And I'll be seeing you.
I thought I told you, no dating.
It wasn't a date, daddy.
I told you, I ran
into him at the park.
I'm sorry to bother you again
but I was just wondering
since we had such
a good time today
maybe we could
go on another date.
You know, like, a real one.
Young man, my young
daughter is too young to date you
or any young body else.
Now, beat it.
Dad, I don't get it.
You always tell me to grow up
but then when I try, you
treat me like a little kid.
You guys don't
let me do anything!
Trudy, you better go
talk to your daughter.
No, Oscar, you had
better talk to her.
I'm not going to
explain myself to a kid.
She is not a kid anymore.
Which means you had better
explain things to her and often.
Look, baby girl.
I don't know how to put this.
I just don't understand
why I can't go on a date.
That's it. That's it,
baby, right there.
You don't understand.
You're just like your
mother when she was young.
You see a pretty face,
and the next thing you
know, you're married.
Not that it didn't turn
out good for your mother.
She was one of the lucky ones.
I'm not like that, daddy.
I'm a different
woman after tonight.
When I first saw Carlos
I thought, this definitely
won't be my first love.
But as the day went
on, I saw another side.
He's smart, warm,
funny sweet, brave.
Actually, he reminded
me a lot of you, daddy.
That big guy?
Yeah, he's a good person.
And that's what's important.
Not how cute a guy is,
how much ice he's wearing
what kind of car he drives.
Anyway, I'm sorry, daddy.
I interrupted you.
What were you about to say?
Well, um Well
Everything you just said
but I guess you
figured it out for yourself.
So, can I go on a date?
Not until you're 35.
Daddy!
Sixteen and not a day before.
Okay, that's fair.
And you're grounded for a week.
Okay, that's not fair.
No. That's life.
Goodnight, baby girl.
I mean, young lady.
Penny, I need to talk to you.
What is it, daddy?
It's about Carlos.
Daddy, we're not dating.
We're just doing our
homework together.
You said it was okay.
Oh, it's not that.
Slim over there is eating
me out of house and home.
Go study at his house.
I thought you said I
couldn't go over his house.
I trust you, okay?
Now, get and bring some of that
food he got at his house over here.