The Unusuals (2009) s01e08 Episode Script
The Dentist
It's a full moon tonight, people.
You know what that means.
Anything can happen werewolves, succubi, giant robots fighting in the street.
Proceed with caution.
Yes.
Nice.
Why do we come here? Oh, because it's cheap, and there's a hospital close by.
So if we get food poisoning, we don't have to go far.
Huh.
Hey, so what'd I miss? Let's see Shraeger was defending the principle of the warning shot.
Warning shot.
Rookies.
Tell me about it.
What, so it's two to the body every time you pull your weapon? Only reason you pull your gun is to shoot someone, right? What? If you want to warn someone, try yelling.
What's going on? I can't do this.
What? I can't do it.
It's okay.
You'll get the next one.
This is a stickup! Nobody move! Come on.
You've gotta be kidding me.
You all right? I'm out.
Dude you're looking at this the wrong way, you know? The bullet missed you.
You're lucky.
Lucky? Yeah.
I'm what? Hey, does that hot chick still do yoga across the street? You got me.
Oh, yeah, really? A guy with no TV set and the Hubble telescope in his apartment doesn't know if a double-jointed girl who busts out of her leotard is doing yoga across the way? You think it's weird that I don't have a TV.
No.
Everything else, yes.
Leo, look, man, um, here's the thing.
I think I think it's time you, uh you see a shrink.
You think I'm crazy? You sleep in a bulletproof vest.
Your furniture inflates.
I won't even get into the gymboree flooring.
You think I want to live like this? Huh? All I got to do is get through the next six months.
Then I'm 43, and everything goes back to normal.
What, like magic? Just not how it works, man.
Yeah, whatever.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Fine.
Oh, crap.
Are you ready to get back to work? Yeah, I guess.
What's wrong? You okay? Hey! What are you doing? What I should've done six months ago staying home.
Leo, come on.
Look, I'm safe in here.
For how long? Like I said, I turn 43 in 6 months.
Oh, come on.
What the hell am I supposed to tell people? Tell them to come by December 14th.
And bring a birthday cake.
So, I'm off tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow.
You do not have to worry about me, sir.
Yeah? Last time I left you in charge, Delahoy glued your gun to the urinal.
Take control, Eddie.
Show 'em who's boss.
What the hell? That's awesome.
I don't know what this is.
But send it back.
These things creep me out.
Oh.
Got it.
All right? And do yourself a favor, son.
Show them some respect.
They're good cops.
I will.
Don't screw up.
Gah! Were your parents related? Huh? You tried to rob a restaurant that was filled with cops.
We're assuming that your mother and father spent Christmas together since they were kids.
Uh I'm from out of town.
Yeah, I figured that.
So, Officer Maynard is gonna finish processing you now, and then you're on the 9:00 p.
m.
to central booking.
That's it? Have a good life.
Detective Cole I don't need to remind you that there are departmental regulations About the display of religious paraphernalia in public areas.
Come on, Alvarez.
Don't be a bully.
Detective Beaumont Eddie Alvarez can see your Your bra strap.
Pardon me? This is a predominantly male work environment.
We just don't don't want to be a distraction.
I mean, come on, people.
Seriously, we got to really consider departmental pride.
Decorum.
It's not open to interpretation.
Is that better? Uh, that, um Okay.
Who's in charge here? Uh, I am.
Detective Eddie Alvarez, the acting commander here.
I'm U.
S.
Marshal Ben Foster.
You got a perp in holding.
Guy tried to rob a Chinese restaurant? Yeah.
That's right.
Bo Keebler.
I've been tracking him for weeks.
The minute you put my guy in the system, I got a call.
He pulled a similar heist in Chicago, except there he murdered a waiter and two customers.
It's a good thing we caught him, then, huh? Yeah, well, that's just it.
I got a warrant from Illinois.
You need to, uh, release Keebler to me so that I can take him back to Chicago.
Well, you know how it works, marshal.
New York tries him first and then Illinois.
Detective Alvarez, can I talk to you in private? Okay.
To my office.
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you.
The reason that Keebler got away in the first place is I lost him.
I know.
It's not your problem.
And, I mean, you look like you got it all together.
But me? I'm sort of the joke of the other marshals.
They play pranks on me practical jokes.
And when I lost Keebler, it was bad.
People always mock what they don't understand.
Right.
So you understand this isn't just another collar for me.
This is my shot at redemption.
Please.
This guy's an easy win for you.
If there is any way that you can see clear to hand him over, I swear I will bring him back the minute that he's sentenced.
You know what? I can do that.
This is an open-and-shut case for us.
Nobody got hurt.
As long as you promise to bring him back.
Oh, I will.
You have no idea how much this means to me.
I'm all about the interagency cooperation.
Let's get the paperwork started.
Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What am I doing? I'm not happy.
I'm miserable.
I'm not crazy! I just told them you had some bad tacos.
You don't just surrender.
I noticed you never take off the vest.
You don't know me.
You don't know my reasons.
The bottom line is there's only one way to live, and that's all the way.
'Cause I promise you, when you're my age, you'll ask yourself, "what the hell did I play it safe for?" Ho! What am I doing? What am I doing here? Oi.
Hey, Cole.
Can I be honest with you? Of course.
I hate testifying in court.
Really? Yeah, I can't sleep the night before, and usually, I puke.
That's stage fright.
It's normal.
Whenever I get nervous in front of a group, I just picture them all on their knees, praying.
Detective I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mock me in front of the men.
Next time you talk about my boobs, I'm gonna feed you my thong.
Hey, Eddie.
Have you seen our perp Keebler? The bus for central's ready to go.
Yeah, he's in interview one with a U.
S.
Marshal.
Keebler's wanted for a triple homicide in Chicago.
So I'm letting them have the first shot at him.
Really? 'Cause that's not All personnel, evacuate the building immediately.
There is a bomb threat.
This is not a drill.
I repeat this is not a drill.
All right, everybody.
By the numbers, people.
No screwing around.
Get everybody out! All units, be advised of a disturbance at Houston and Orchard.
Two schizophrenic men may or may not be arguing with each other.
We did a full sweep, top to bottom.
Nothing.
Good.
I want a trace put on that call.
Got it.
I just need your signature, and I'll get out of your hair.
You saved my ass.
I can't thank you enough.
Oh, uh, Keebler had a backpack When you booked him.
We'll need that, too.
Backpack for Keebler! Flying JPATS tonight? Pardon me? JPATS Justice Prisoner and Alien Transportation Service.
Oh, yeah.
They're holding a plane for us at Teterboro.
So, we got to get going.
There you go.
Fly safe.
All right, people, we're doing a bomb threat performance review at 0030 hours.
What's that? Delahoy.
I think I just saw a murder.
What? I was in my sleeping chair.
You sleep in a chair? Not the point, man.
I heard a scream and then I woke up, and there's a man in yoga girl's apartment.
He closed the curtains.
Wait a minute.
You heard the scream and then you woke up? No.
The scream woke me up, I think.
Leo, you had a bad dream.
All right? It's been a stressful week.
If I were you, I would just go back to my sleeping chair and get some rest, okay? Could you go over there for me? To the yoga girl's apartment? Yeah.
This is what I'm talking about.
How crazy you sound? You gonna help me out, or not? No, and if you're so worried, why don't you go over there? I can't.
You can't 'cause you locked yourself in your apartment, and you're convinced if you go outside, you're gonna die.
You need help, man.
First thing tomorrow, you got to go see a shrink.
All right? This is ridiculous.
This is No, I'm not crazy.
Just get some rest, all right? I'm not crazy, right? You guys are using a new floor wax.
It's lemony.
How many times you been here in the last month, Marvin? Six.
No, wait seven.
Ah.
You know you got to stop doing this.
You act like crime's my hobby.
We're in a recession.
No one wants to hire an ex-con.
Okay.
Take this.
Next time, you're going to the tombs.
All right? You know your way out.
Thanks.
So then I handed Dr.
Bulba the buy money, and he gave me a duffel bag full of oxycontin.
Great.
Just like that on the stand tomorrow.
Dr.
Lars Bulba, a.
k.
a The dentist Biggest trafficker in illegal prescription drugs in the tri-state area.
I still can't believe a children's dentist was selling drugs.
He was pulling in over half a million dollars a month.
We're due in court at 9:00.
I'll put Beaumont on the stand first.
Is the buy money secure? It's in the evidence room, sealed with the original paperwork.
Okay.
Get some rest tonight.
If we land this case, I could make assistant district attorney.
It's not that big of a deal.
It happens to everyone.
It doesn't happen to you.
True.
How can it not bother you? Being on the stand and knowing that if you say the wrong thing, this guy could walk? All right, look.
Here's what I do.
When I talk to a jury, I just think about something I love doing.
It makes me happy.
When you're happy, you're likeable.
Huh.
So, what do you love doing? Hey That, uh, bomb-threat trace came back in.
Looks like it came from a cell phone somewhere in the neighborhood.
We're just trying to narrow it down.
Probably just a prank call, huh? Hey, how you doing? I'm looking for your C.
O.
That'd be Alvarez.
Alvarez! Detective.
U.
S.
Marshal Gary Kunket.
Well, it's U.
S.
Marshal night tonight.
Pardon me? You have a Bo Keebler in custody, is that correct? Well, we, uh Do you or don't you, detective? We did.
Marshall Foster signed him out 10 minutes.
Ben Foster? Yeah, little guy, hangdog.
Why? Foster was suspended last week on suspicion of taking bribes.
There's no way he's legally escorting prisoners anywhere.
But I ran his paperwork.
Everything checked out.
Doesn't matter.
You just gave my prisoner to a suspected felon.
Repeat after me.
My job as a police detective is to put criminals in jail, not help them breakout! Maybe you want to write it on the blackboard 100 times? Okay, it's not too late.
I can fix this.
How long have they been gone, Eddie? Half-hour.
All right, Casey, why don't you put out a finest message and see what we get back? They couldn't have gone too far.
I ran all of his paperwork.
Everything cleared.
I don't get it, Eddie.
You are the rule king.
Why would you let Keebler go in the first place? It's You know, never mind.
Right.
Now I'm really curious.
I had Chicago send over the original case file.
Foster has nothing to do with the Keebler case.
He lied to me.
Really? He's a con man.
You got played.
What I don't get is, What does a dirty U.
S.
Marshal want with the world's dumbest convict? Excuse me.
Shraeger.
Sergeant Brown is gonna kill me.
Eddie, you got to man up.
We got 11 hours till the sarge gets back.
We can fix this.
This is what you wanted.
You're the boss.
Take control.
Yeah, thank you.
Guys, that was the tech unit.
They finished the trace on the bomb threat.
Turns out it came from inside the precinct.
What? Yeah.
Terrific.
So let's see.
Keebler robs a restaurant full of cops, gets arrested.
Foster comes in and breaks him out.
And in between all of this, someone calls in a bomb threat and clears out the building for 30 minutes.
Oh, this isn't happening.
Maybe Keebler's not the dumbest perp alive.
Maybe he robbed that Chinese restaurant because he wanted to get caught.
Why would anyone want to get arrested? I don't know.
But I know a way to find out.
Come on.
What's your emergency? Hey, this is detective I need a patrol car sent over to uh third floor, above the entryway door.
Yes, possible assault.
Victim is female.
Perp is male.
This is the interview tape of Keebler and Foster before the bomb threat.
Here you go.
Unhandcuff me.
Hurry up! Son of a bitch.
Is everything where "M" said it was? Yeah.
I saw the door when they printed me.
Go left out the room.
Third door on the left.
Right near the back.
What are you doing? They'll trace that.
It's a throwaway.
They'll never find us in time.
Did you have a problem with the C.
O.
? Are you kidding? That guy was a total loser.
I saw how to play him from a mile away.
Do not hang up.
I planted a bomb in the 2nd precinct, and you have 15 minutes until it blows.
Now, you remember exactly what you're supposed to do? Give it at least a minute.
Son of a bitch.
So why'd they call the bomb threat? They didn't need it to escape.
Well, the bomb threat cleared the building.
They had 10 minutes alone in the precinct before the bomb squad got here, so so why did two felons want to be alone in a police precinct? It's the evidence room.
Officer Trunk, report.
I just started inventory.
So far, everything checks out.
All right, look for anything out of place, guys.
Keebler said it was somewhere in the back.
Guys, I got an empty evidence box.
Space number 7-9-0.
It's Cole and Beaumont's case.
$50,000 is missing from this box! That's the case Nicole's prosecuting tomorrow.
This wasn't a breakout.
It was a heist.
Oh, no.
What's going on? We got robbed.
What? How can we get robbed? We're a police station.
Yeah, remember the genius that tried to take the Chinese restaurant? Well, a dirty U.
S.
Marshal came in to pick him up.
They're the ones that called in the bomb threat.
When the precinct was empty, they raided the evidence room.
Stole $50,000 from the dentist case.
What? There's no case without that money.
It's my fault.
I let the marshal take him.
Well, we have to tell Nicole.
No, no.
Not yet.
I say we catch these guys, get the money back tonight.
Doesn't matter.
Once they break the evidence seal, the chain of custody goes out the window.
Well, then, we catch them before they break the seal.
How? Yeah.
How? The dentist.
You think the dentist hired them to tank the case? There was plenty money in that evidence room.
Why only take the one envelope? Well, the dentist has been in jail since his arrest, which means there's got to be a record if he contacted these guys phone calls, visitor log.
Okay, let's pull it real quietly.
The minute this gets out, we're done.
All right? Let's move.
Walsh.
Thank you.
You need to call the U.
S.
Marshal's office, okay, Eddie? Just fill them in, but tell them to keep it quiet.
Threaten them if you have to.
All we need is nine hours.
If we don't get the money back by then, it won't matter.
You should be in charge, you know, not me.
Everybody has a first day, Eddie.
All that matters is what you do next.
Police.
Open up.
Are you kidding me? You call in about the assault? Yeah, yeah yeah, across the street.
Is she okay? Yeah, we knocked.
No one answered.
Super said he saw that tenant go out earlier in the evening.
No.
No, no, no.
I saw Let me guess.
You're a bird watcher.
That's not Look, the girl was alone, doing yoga.
Yoga? That must've been great.
Yeah, and the next time I looked Hey, you know it's against the law to spy on people? Listen, fellas, I'm on the job.
Detective Leo Banks.
Oh.
Then the girl was what, a suspect? Listen to me.
You need to get inside the apartment and see if there's any signs of a struggle.
You hear that, Gus? The detective here thinks we need to get inside the apartment.
Thank God he's here.
Otherwise I might forget how to wipe my butt.
Very funny.
Now, are you gonna go over there, or do I need to call the squad sergeant? What's with the inflatable furniture? Get out.
Thank you, fellas.
I'm done.
Glad to be of service, sir.
You have a nice evening.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
Wait.
What's her name? The yoga girl.
This is a professional request.
Carmen.
Carmen what? Carmen Dunn.
Thank you.
You have a nice day.
J17-SBK1.
The suspects leave the evidence room.
That must be the dentist's money in that green bag.
So they hit a blind spot for 4 minutes.
Then they reappear here, and they enter the personal effects holding area.
It's the backpack.
They put the money in Keebler's backpack, which I returned to him.
The dentist's prison log shows six calls in two weeks to a pay phone on avenue "A.
" And I did a background check on U.
S.
Marshal Ben Foster.
Turns out he grew up on the same street as the dentist in New Rochelle.
They've been friends since grade school.
Great, so, that connects them, but that doesn't help us find them.
There you are.
Oh, hey, honey.
We're just, uh I thought you got off at midnight.
Uh, they stayed to help us out with a case we're working on.
Well, I need them rested for trial in the morning.
Eddie, can't you send them home? Uh Eddie? Uh, yeah.
Uh, Beaumont, Cole, why don't you guys go ahead and clock out? But we we really want to help on that case.
Yeah, I know.
Just go on home.
Thanks, babe.
You've gotta be kidding me.
I'm heading home myself.
Get a few hours of sleep.
Okay.
You okay? Uh, yeah.
I'm fine.
Just go ahead.
Get some sleep.
All right.
Bye.
I keep thinking about something Foster said.
He asked Keebler if everything was where "M" said it was.
Who's who is "M"? Maybe an inside man? A cop? Oh, tell me it's not another crooked cop.
I could run new background checks on support staff.
What if it's not one of us, But one of them? "Them"? Yeah, two types of people in a police station.
Cops and criminals.
Criminals.
Yeah, we got the same perps in and out of here every week.
They knew the place as well as we do.
So, we're looking for a recidivist with the initial "M.
" What? Marvin.
Before you say anything, I bought him with my own money.
I even kept the receipt.
This isn't about the dummy, Marvin.
Because I thought about what you said, and you're right.
I need a new gig.
Get my act together.
So, meet Marvin 2.
I'll say this much I've never quite seen a ventriloquist like you before.
What's that supposed to mean, biatch? Marvin, I'm serious.
Marvin! If that dummy says another word Yeah? What are you gonna do? Cry? Hey.
Marvin, has anyone approached you in the last month regarding information about the precinct's layout? I'm okay.
Marvin! Look at the photos.
Hey, I know them.
They bought me drinks at the E.
E.
R.
Uh, Bo and Ben.
They were really nice.
That's right.
What did you tell them? I don't know.
They just wanted to know where some stuff was.
Said they heard I was "the man" at the 2nd.
"The man.
" I like that.
Oh, Marvin.
What? Oh, no.
Did I screw up again? Mm-hmm.
These guys bluffed their way into the precinct and stole $50,000 in evidence.
It wasn't weird to you that they were asking those questions? About a police station? They were nice.
People don't talk to me much.
That's why I got Marvin.
He's my friend.
You're killing me, Marvin.
You're killing me.
Please tell me that you remember something anything it's going to help us with this case.
I don't know.
I was pretty drunk.
But there was a girl with them.
Nancy? Nora? We went to a bar near her apartment.
Where? You got me.
It was in Brooklyn.
But wait.
There was a cow outside.
A cow.
Definitely a cow.
So she lives in a field.
No.
An apartment.
Marvin you know where I have to take you now, don't you? The tombs.
That's right.
Brig number 2.
Come on! Delahoy.
Hey, it's me.
Don't hang up.
I saw a man come out of the building across the street, and I'm pretty sure he was dragging a body in a duffel bag.
You saw the body? No.
But it was a big duffel bag.
I'm hanging up.
No, no.
Wait.
His license-plate number.
My internet's down, and I just need you to run the plate.
That's it? That's it.
Just run the plate, see if he's got any priors.
It's J17-SBK1.
Maybe you could see if he has any connection to yoga girl.
Her name real name's Carmen Dunn two n's.
Thought you said run the plate, and that's it.
Eric, please.
I think something really Really what? Dude, you there? He's back.
He's in the apartment.
Who's back? Leo? Hey.
Leo? Fine, screw it.
Mission person person of interest in several active missing women cases.
I'm not here.
Leave a message.
Hey, man, it's me.
You there? Pick up.
Okay, look, I ran that plate you gave me.
The owner's name is Reginald Worthy.
He's been questioned in the disappearance of one woman in Queens and another one in Rhode Island.
He works at a photo lab in the same mall as yoga girl.
Uh, listen, man I think this guy could be a serial killer.
Be careful.
I'm on my way.
Hey, babe.
Hey, babe, something wrong? Oh, sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you up.
I just, um I'm having a I'm just having a tough night.
Oh, honey.
It'll be okay.
Can we talk about that after the trial? No.
Yeah you're right.
It's late.
You should you should get some sleep.
You have you have a big day tomorrow.
Okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Good night.
Hi.
Hi.
You know that your, um your wife and I went to high school together? No, I didn't.
Yeah.
We didn't really get along.
I I actually hated her.
A lot.
But now I think she's kind of cool.
She's become her own person.
I met Nicole when I was still on foot patrol.
She was in law school.
I think she liked that I carried a gun.
And the mustache.
Of course.
Yeah.
For sure.
Uh, but I you know, I knew it was just a fling.
There's no way a girl like that likes a beat cop named Ed Alvarez.
Eddie Alvarez.
No.
It was just Ed then.
Just the gangly yotz from Mamaroneckutz who took his stepfather's last name when he joined the force so that he could get promoted faster.
Oh, look what happened.
She married you.
You know, if it was up to me, I would just be a detective.
I would solve crimes.
But Nicole She deserves a champion, you know? Not some guy with a cheap suit who punches the clock every day.
That's what a champion is, Eddie.
Someone who'll do the work that other people think is beneath them.
Do you know where I can find a cow in Brooklyn? A cow? Yeah, Marvin said our suspects are staying at a place with a cow outside.
Oh, there's a cow in front of Vaca's steak house.
But that's not a real cow.
It's a sculpture.
You're a genius.
What? What do you say, boss? Want to go catch some bad guys? Hell yes.
Police! Don't move.
Drop the bag.
Put your hands up.
Who's the joke now, bitch? Walsh the dentist's bag, it's empty.
The money's gone.
Where is it? Where is it?! Am I crazy? We know you work for the dentist.
We're not mad.
We just want to get the evidence back.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Only one of you morons is going to get a deal here, you understand? Now, right now your partner's next door talking to my boss.
Let's not forget, Foster is a cop.
He knows how it works.
You think he's gonna keep his mouth shut and go to jail? He's probably selling you out right now.
Think about it.
You picked the wrong precinct to rob, Benjamin.
Oh, come on, please.
I did my homework.
This place is a joke.
Chaotic, disorganized.
Too much personality, not enough discipline.
You give me 24 hours, I bet you I could rob it again.
You're gonna tell me where that money is.
Or what? What are you gonna do, Nancy? Hit me? Hey.
Never mind.
Keebler's talking.
Perfect.
Enjoy your life at sing sing, Benji.
Do you really think that junior varsity psych crap is gonna work on me? I know that Bo is not talking, and he knows I won't.
So you got nothing.
You had a bad dream.
Maybe I am crazy.
Help! Help! Leo.
Hold on, buddy! Just hold on! Stand clear! Gah! Son of a bitch! Leo! Leo! Hey.
Hey.
You popped the couch.
Told you I wasn't crazy.
Brand-new day.
Okay I'm gonna call Nicole and Captain Morgan.
I'll take all the heat.
Thanks, you guys.
All right.
Here it goes.
Wait.
Keebler's girlfriend said that he and Foster rolled up to her place around 11:30.
I'm thinking that they went straight there from the precinct.
But they didn't have time to drop the money anywhere.
Right.
The girlfriend said our suspects stayed at her place until we came and arrested them.
And we searched their apartment, the van Nothing.
So, either they threw the money out the window heh.
Or they never had it in the first place.
The surveillance cameras did lose Keebler and Foster for four minutes.
Yeah, but if they didn't take it out with them, what did they do with it? Nicole just paged us to court.
What do I tell her? Stall her.
Look, if we can't find this money, we've got to tell the D.
A.
's office now.
Detective Beaumont, listen to me very carefully.
This is my decision.
I'm in charge.
Now, go stall my wife.
She's right, Eddie.
You should call your wife.
The box.
What? Somebody sent sergeant brown a box yesterday, and it was full of these dolls.
I I put I put it on that table right over there.
So? So, where's the box? Brown asked me to return the box, and it's gone.
Again, so? So Keebler and Foster knew that they might get caught.
But they had to make sure that the money disappeared.
They couldn't risk taking it out in a backpack.
Hey! I'm looking for a box, about that big.
It would have been dropped off last night.
Last night's mail just went out, so you can Come on.
Move, move, move! Move! Hey! Police! Stop! What the hell are you doing? NYPD.
Open the back.
It's still sealed Booking slip intact.
Now move.
Sirens all the way.
Drive on the sidewalk if you have to.
Got it.
Good work, boss.
Thank you.
Alvarez! Uh, sarge, yes.
Status report.
Uh, all is quiet, sir.
We had a bomb threat last night around 9:00 p.
m.
, but that turned out to be a prank.
Everything's normal.
Is he lying? No, sir.
Okay, what about the banks thing? The what? The Noho strangler? Banks and Delahoy just caught the guy.
Haven't you been following the radio calls? Uh, w well I don't It's called multitasking, Eddie.
Okay.
Say it.
I'm not saying it.
You're gonna say it.
Fine.
Staying at home is not safer than coming to work.
You were right, sarge.
About what? They are good cops.
You know what that means.
Anything can happen werewolves, succubi, giant robots fighting in the street.
Proceed with caution.
Yes.
Nice.
Why do we come here? Oh, because it's cheap, and there's a hospital close by.
So if we get food poisoning, we don't have to go far.
Huh.
Hey, so what'd I miss? Let's see Shraeger was defending the principle of the warning shot.
Warning shot.
Rookies.
Tell me about it.
What, so it's two to the body every time you pull your weapon? Only reason you pull your gun is to shoot someone, right? What? If you want to warn someone, try yelling.
What's going on? I can't do this.
What? I can't do it.
It's okay.
You'll get the next one.
This is a stickup! Nobody move! Come on.
You've gotta be kidding me.
You all right? I'm out.
Dude you're looking at this the wrong way, you know? The bullet missed you.
You're lucky.
Lucky? Yeah.
I'm what? Hey, does that hot chick still do yoga across the street? You got me.
Oh, yeah, really? A guy with no TV set and the Hubble telescope in his apartment doesn't know if a double-jointed girl who busts out of her leotard is doing yoga across the way? You think it's weird that I don't have a TV.
No.
Everything else, yes.
Leo, look, man, um, here's the thing.
I think I think it's time you, uh you see a shrink.
You think I'm crazy? You sleep in a bulletproof vest.
Your furniture inflates.
I won't even get into the gymboree flooring.
You think I want to live like this? Huh? All I got to do is get through the next six months.
Then I'm 43, and everything goes back to normal.
What, like magic? Just not how it works, man.
Yeah, whatever.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Fine.
Oh, crap.
Are you ready to get back to work? Yeah, I guess.
What's wrong? You okay? Hey! What are you doing? What I should've done six months ago staying home.
Leo, come on.
Look, I'm safe in here.
For how long? Like I said, I turn 43 in 6 months.
Oh, come on.
What the hell am I supposed to tell people? Tell them to come by December 14th.
And bring a birthday cake.
So, I'm off tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow.
You do not have to worry about me, sir.
Yeah? Last time I left you in charge, Delahoy glued your gun to the urinal.
Take control, Eddie.
Show 'em who's boss.
What the hell? That's awesome.
I don't know what this is.
But send it back.
These things creep me out.
Oh.
Got it.
All right? And do yourself a favor, son.
Show them some respect.
They're good cops.
I will.
Don't screw up.
Gah! Were your parents related? Huh? You tried to rob a restaurant that was filled with cops.
We're assuming that your mother and father spent Christmas together since they were kids.
Uh I'm from out of town.
Yeah, I figured that.
So, Officer Maynard is gonna finish processing you now, and then you're on the 9:00 p.
m.
to central booking.
That's it? Have a good life.
Detective Cole I don't need to remind you that there are departmental regulations About the display of religious paraphernalia in public areas.
Come on, Alvarez.
Don't be a bully.
Detective Beaumont Eddie Alvarez can see your Your bra strap.
Pardon me? This is a predominantly male work environment.
We just don't don't want to be a distraction.
I mean, come on, people.
Seriously, we got to really consider departmental pride.
Decorum.
It's not open to interpretation.
Is that better? Uh, that, um Okay.
Who's in charge here? Uh, I am.
Detective Eddie Alvarez, the acting commander here.
I'm U.
S.
Marshal Ben Foster.
You got a perp in holding.
Guy tried to rob a Chinese restaurant? Yeah.
That's right.
Bo Keebler.
I've been tracking him for weeks.
The minute you put my guy in the system, I got a call.
He pulled a similar heist in Chicago, except there he murdered a waiter and two customers.
It's a good thing we caught him, then, huh? Yeah, well, that's just it.
I got a warrant from Illinois.
You need to, uh, release Keebler to me so that I can take him back to Chicago.
Well, you know how it works, marshal.
New York tries him first and then Illinois.
Detective Alvarez, can I talk to you in private? Okay.
To my office.
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you.
The reason that Keebler got away in the first place is I lost him.
I know.
It's not your problem.
And, I mean, you look like you got it all together.
But me? I'm sort of the joke of the other marshals.
They play pranks on me practical jokes.
And when I lost Keebler, it was bad.
People always mock what they don't understand.
Right.
So you understand this isn't just another collar for me.
This is my shot at redemption.
Please.
This guy's an easy win for you.
If there is any way that you can see clear to hand him over, I swear I will bring him back the minute that he's sentenced.
You know what? I can do that.
This is an open-and-shut case for us.
Nobody got hurt.
As long as you promise to bring him back.
Oh, I will.
You have no idea how much this means to me.
I'm all about the interagency cooperation.
Let's get the paperwork started.
Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
What am I doing? I'm not happy.
I'm miserable.
I'm not crazy! I just told them you had some bad tacos.
You don't just surrender.
I noticed you never take off the vest.
You don't know me.
You don't know my reasons.
The bottom line is there's only one way to live, and that's all the way.
'Cause I promise you, when you're my age, you'll ask yourself, "what the hell did I play it safe for?" Ho! What am I doing? What am I doing here? Oi.
Hey, Cole.
Can I be honest with you? Of course.
I hate testifying in court.
Really? Yeah, I can't sleep the night before, and usually, I puke.
That's stage fright.
It's normal.
Whenever I get nervous in front of a group, I just picture them all on their knees, praying.
Detective I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mock me in front of the men.
Next time you talk about my boobs, I'm gonna feed you my thong.
Hey, Eddie.
Have you seen our perp Keebler? The bus for central's ready to go.
Yeah, he's in interview one with a U.
S.
Marshal.
Keebler's wanted for a triple homicide in Chicago.
So I'm letting them have the first shot at him.
Really? 'Cause that's not All personnel, evacuate the building immediately.
There is a bomb threat.
This is not a drill.
I repeat this is not a drill.
All right, everybody.
By the numbers, people.
No screwing around.
Get everybody out! All units, be advised of a disturbance at Houston and Orchard.
Two schizophrenic men may or may not be arguing with each other.
We did a full sweep, top to bottom.
Nothing.
Good.
I want a trace put on that call.
Got it.
I just need your signature, and I'll get out of your hair.
You saved my ass.
I can't thank you enough.
Oh, uh, Keebler had a backpack When you booked him.
We'll need that, too.
Backpack for Keebler! Flying JPATS tonight? Pardon me? JPATS Justice Prisoner and Alien Transportation Service.
Oh, yeah.
They're holding a plane for us at Teterboro.
So, we got to get going.
There you go.
Fly safe.
All right, people, we're doing a bomb threat performance review at 0030 hours.
What's that? Delahoy.
I think I just saw a murder.
What? I was in my sleeping chair.
You sleep in a chair? Not the point, man.
I heard a scream and then I woke up, and there's a man in yoga girl's apartment.
He closed the curtains.
Wait a minute.
You heard the scream and then you woke up? No.
The scream woke me up, I think.
Leo, you had a bad dream.
All right? It's been a stressful week.
If I were you, I would just go back to my sleeping chair and get some rest, okay? Could you go over there for me? To the yoga girl's apartment? Yeah.
This is what I'm talking about.
How crazy you sound? You gonna help me out, or not? No, and if you're so worried, why don't you go over there? I can't.
You can't 'cause you locked yourself in your apartment, and you're convinced if you go outside, you're gonna die.
You need help, man.
First thing tomorrow, you got to go see a shrink.
All right? This is ridiculous.
This is No, I'm not crazy.
Just get some rest, all right? I'm not crazy, right? You guys are using a new floor wax.
It's lemony.
How many times you been here in the last month, Marvin? Six.
No, wait seven.
Ah.
You know you got to stop doing this.
You act like crime's my hobby.
We're in a recession.
No one wants to hire an ex-con.
Okay.
Take this.
Next time, you're going to the tombs.
All right? You know your way out.
Thanks.
So then I handed Dr.
Bulba the buy money, and he gave me a duffel bag full of oxycontin.
Great.
Just like that on the stand tomorrow.
Dr.
Lars Bulba, a.
k.
a The dentist Biggest trafficker in illegal prescription drugs in the tri-state area.
I still can't believe a children's dentist was selling drugs.
He was pulling in over half a million dollars a month.
We're due in court at 9:00.
I'll put Beaumont on the stand first.
Is the buy money secure? It's in the evidence room, sealed with the original paperwork.
Okay.
Get some rest tonight.
If we land this case, I could make assistant district attorney.
It's not that big of a deal.
It happens to everyone.
It doesn't happen to you.
True.
How can it not bother you? Being on the stand and knowing that if you say the wrong thing, this guy could walk? All right, look.
Here's what I do.
When I talk to a jury, I just think about something I love doing.
It makes me happy.
When you're happy, you're likeable.
Huh.
So, what do you love doing? Hey That, uh, bomb-threat trace came back in.
Looks like it came from a cell phone somewhere in the neighborhood.
We're just trying to narrow it down.
Probably just a prank call, huh? Hey, how you doing? I'm looking for your C.
O.
That'd be Alvarez.
Alvarez! Detective.
U.
S.
Marshal Gary Kunket.
Well, it's U.
S.
Marshal night tonight.
Pardon me? You have a Bo Keebler in custody, is that correct? Well, we, uh Do you or don't you, detective? We did.
Marshall Foster signed him out 10 minutes.
Ben Foster? Yeah, little guy, hangdog.
Why? Foster was suspended last week on suspicion of taking bribes.
There's no way he's legally escorting prisoners anywhere.
But I ran his paperwork.
Everything checked out.
Doesn't matter.
You just gave my prisoner to a suspected felon.
Repeat after me.
My job as a police detective is to put criminals in jail, not help them breakout! Maybe you want to write it on the blackboard 100 times? Okay, it's not too late.
I can fix this.
How long have they been gone, Eddie? Half-hour.
All right, Casey, why don't you put out a finest message and see what we get back? They couldn't have gone too far.
I ran all of his paperwork.
Everything cleared.
I don't get it, Eddie.
You are the rule king.
Why would you let Keebler go in the first place? It's You know, never mind.
Right.
Now I'm really curious.
I had Chicago send over the original case file.
Foster has nothing to do with the Keebler case.
He lied to me.
Really? He's a con man.
You got played.
What I don't get is, What does a dirty U.
S.
Marshal want with the world's dumbest convict? Excuse me.
Shraeger.
Sergeant Brown is gonna kill me.
Eddie, you got to man up.
We got 11 hours till the sarge gets back.
We can fix this.
This is what you wanted.
You're the boss.
Take control.
Yeah, thank you.
Guys, that was the tech unit.
They finished the trace on the bomb threat.
Turns out it came from inside the precinct.
What? Yeah.
Terrific.
So let's see.
Keebler robs a restaurant full of cops, gets arrested.
Foster comes in and breaks him out.
And in between all of this, someone calls in a bomb threat and clears out the building for 30 minutes.
Oh, this isn't happening.
Maybe Keebler's not the dumbest perp alive.
Maybe he robbed that Chinese restaurant because he wanted to get caught.
Why would anyone want to get arrested? I don't know.
But I know a way to find out.
Come on.
What's your emergency? Hey, this is detective I need a patrol car sent over to uh third floor, above the entryway door.
Yes, possible assault.
Victim is female.
Perp is male.
This is the interview tape of Keebler and Foster before the bomb threat.
Here you go.
Unhandcuff me.
Hurry up! Son of a bitch.
Is everything where "M" said it was? Yeah.
I saw the door when they printed me.
Go left out the room.
Third door on the left.
Right near the back.
What are you doing? They'll trace that.
It's a throwaway.
They'll never find us in time.
Did you have a problem with the C.
O.
? Are you kidding? That guy was a total loser.
I saw how to play him from a mile away.
Do not hang up.
I planted a bomb in the 2nd precinct, and you have 15 minutes until it blows.
Now, you remember exactly what you're supposed to do? Give it at least a minute.
Son of a bitch.
So why'd they call the bomb threat? They didn't need it to escape.
Well, the bomb threat cleared the building.
They had 10 minutes alone in the precinct before the bomb squad got here, so so why did two felons want to be alone in a police precinct? It's the evidence room.
Officer Trunk, report.
I just started inventory.
So far, everything checks out.
All right, look for anything out of place, guys.
Keebler said it was somewhere in the back.
Guys, I got an empty evidence box.
Space number 7-9-0.
It's Cole and Beaumont's case.
$50,000 is missing from this box! That's the case Nicole's prosecuting tomorrow.
This wasn't a breakout.
It was a heist.
Oh, no.
What's going on? We got robbed.
What? How can we get robbed? We're a police station.
Yeah, remember the genius that tried to take the Chinese restaurant? Well, a dirty U.
S.
Marshal came in to pick him up.
They're the ones that called in the bomb threat.
When the precinct was empty, they raided the evidence room.
Stole $50,000 from the dentist case.
What? There's no case without that money.
It's my fault.
I let the marshal take him.
Well, we have to tell Nicole.
No, no.
Not yet.
I say we catch these guys, get the money back tonight.
Doesn't matter.
Once they break the evidence seal, the chain of custody goes out the window.
Well, then, we catch them before they break the seal.
How? Yeah.
How? The dentist.
You think the dentist hired them to tank the case? There was plenty money in that evidence room.
Why only take the one envelope? Well, the dentist has been in jail since his arrest, which means there's got to be a record if he contacted these guys phone calls, visitor log.
Okay, let's pull it real quietly.
The minute this gets out, we're done.
All right? Let's move.
Walsh.
Thank you.
You need to call the U.
S.
Marshal's office, okay, Eddie? Just fill them in, but tell them to keep it quiet.
Threaten them if you have to.
All we need is nine hours.
If we don't get the money back by then, it won't matter.
You should be in charge, you know, not me.
Everybody has a first day, Eddie.
All that matters is what you do next.
Police.
Open up.
Are you kidding me? You call in about the assault? Yeah, yeah yeah, across the street.
Is she okay? Yeah, we knocked.
No one answered.
Super said he saw that tenant go out earlier in the evening.
No.
No, no, no.
I saw Let me guess.
You're a bird watcher.
That's not Look, the girl was alone, doing yoga.
Yoga? That must've been great.
Yeah, and the next time I looked Hey, you know it's against the law to spy on people? Listen, fellas, I'm on the job.
Detective Leo Banks.
Oh.
Then the girl was what, a suspect? Listen to me.
You need to get inside the apartment and see if there's any signs of a struggle.
You hear that, Gus? The detective here thinks we need to get inside the apartment.
Thank God he's here.
Otherwise I might forget how to wipe my butt.
Very funny.
Now, are you gonna go over there, or do I need to call the squad sergeant? What's with the inflatable furniture? Get out.
Thank you, fellas.
I'm done.
Glad to be of service, sir.
You have a nice evening.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
Wait.
What's her name? The yoga girl.
This is a professional request.
Carmen.
Carmen what? Carmen Dunn.
Thank you.
You have a nice day.
J17-SBK1.
The suspects leave the evidence room.
That must be the dentist's money in that green bag.
So they hit a blind spot for 4 minutes.
Then they reappear here, and they enter the personal effects holding area.
It's the backpack.
They put the money in Keebler's backpack, which I returned to him.
The dentist's prison log shows six calls in two weeks to a pay phone on avenue "A.
" And I did a background check on U.
S.
Marshal Ben Foster.
Turns out he grew up on the same street as the dentist in New Rochelle.
They've been friends since grade school.
Great, so, that connects them, but that doesn't help us find them.
There you are.
Oh, hey, honey.
We're just, uh I thought you got off at midnight.
Uh, they stayed to help us out with a case we're working on.
Well, I need them rested for trial in the morning.
Eddie, can't you send them home? Uh Eddie? Uh, yeah.
Uh, Beaumont, Cole, why don't you guys go ahead and clock out? But we we really want to help on that case.
Yeah, I know.
Just go on home.
Thanks, babe.
You've gotta be kidding me.
I'm heading home myself.
Get a few hours of sleep.
Okay.
You okay? Uh, yeah.
I'm fine.
Just go ahead.
Get some sleep.
All right.
Bye.
I keep thinking about something Foster said.
He asked Keebler if everything was where "M" said it was.
Who's who is "M"? Maybe an inside man? A cop? Oh, tell me it's not another crooked cop.
I could run new background checks on support staff.
What if it's not one of us, But one of them? "Them"? Yeah, two types of people in a police station.
Cops and criminals.
Criminals.
Yeah, we got the same perps in and out of here every week.
They knew the place as well as we do.
So, we're looking for a recidivist with the initial "M.
" What? Marvin.
Before you say anything, I bought him with my own money.
I even kept the receipt.
This isn't about the dummy, Marvin.
Because I thought about what you said, and you're right.
I need a new gig.
Get my act together.
So, meet Marvin 2.
I'll say this much I've never quite seen a ventriloquist like you before.
What's that supposed to mean, biatch? Marvin, I'm serious.
Marvin! If that dummy says another word Yeah? What are you gonna do? Cry? Hey.
Marvin, has anyone approached you in the last month regarding information about the precinct's layout? I'm okay.
Marvin! Look at the photos.
Hey, I know them.
They bought me drinks at the E.
E.
R.
Uh, Bo and Ben.
They were really nice.
That's right.
What did you tell them? I don't know.
They just wanted to know where some stuff was.
Said they heard I was "the man" at the 2nd.
"The man.
" I like that.
Oh, Marvin.
What? Oh, no.
Did I screw up again? Mm-hmm.
These guys bluffed their way into the precinct and stole $50,000 in evidence.
It wasn't weird to you that they were asking those questions? About a police station? They were nice.
People don't talk to me much.
That's why I got Marvin.
He's my friend.
You're killing me, Marvin.
You're killing me.
Please tell me that you remember something anything it's going to help us with this case.
I don't know.
I was pretty drunk.
But there was a girl with them.
Nancy? Nora? We went to a bar near her apartment.
Where? You got me.
It was in Brooklyn.
But wait.
There was a cow outside.
A cow.
Definitely a cow.
So she lives in a field.
No.
An apartment.
Marvin you know where I have to take you now, don't you? The tombs.
That's right.
Brig number 2.
Come on! Delahoy.
Hey, it's me.
Don't hang up.
I saw a man come out of the building across the street, and I'm pretty sure he was dragging a body in a duffel bag.
You saw the body? No.
But it was a big duffel bag.
I'm hanging up.
No, no.
Wait.
His license-plate number.
My internet's down, and I just need you to run the plate.
That's it? That's it.
Just run the plate, see if he's got any priors.
It's J17-SBK1.
Maybe you could see if he has any connection to yoga girl.
Her name real name's Carmen Dunn two n's.
Thought you said run the plate, and that's it.
Eric, please.
I think something really Really what? Dude, you there? He's back.
He's in the apartment.
Who's back? Leo? Hey.
Leo? Fine, screw it.
Mission person person of interest in several active missing women cases.
I'm not here.
Leave a message.
Hey, man, it's me.
You there? Pick up.
Okay, look, I ran that plate you gave me.
The owner's name is Reginald Worthy.
He's been questioned in the disappearance of one woman in Queens and another one in Rhode Island.
He works at a photo lab in the same mall as yoga girl.
Uh, listen, man I think this guy could be a serial killer.
Be careful.
I'm on my way.
Hey, babe.
Hey, babe, something wrong? Oh, sorry.
I didn't mean to wake you up.
I just, um I'm having a I'm just having a tough night.
Oh, honey.
It'll be okay.
Can we talk about that after the trial? No.
Yeah you're right.
It's late.
You should you should get some sleep.
You have you have a big day tomorrow.
Okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Good night.
Hi.
Hi.
You know that your, um your wife and I went to high school together? No, I didn't.
Yeah.
We didn't really get along.
I I actually hated her.
A lot.
But now I think she's kind of cool.
She's become her own person.
I met Nicole when I was still on foot patrol.
She was in law school.
I think she liked that I carried a gun.
And the mustache.
Of course.
Yeah.
For sure.
Uh, but I you know, I knew it was just a fling.
There's no way a girl like that likes a beat cop named Ed Alvarez.
Eddie Alvarez.
No.
It was just Ed then.
Just the gangly yotz from Mamaroneckutz who took his stepfather's last name when he joined the force so that he could get promoted faster.
Oh, look what happened.
She married you.
You know, if it was up to me, I would just be a detective.
I would solve crimes.
But Nicole She deserves a champion, you know? Not some guy with a cheap suit who punches the clock every day.
That's what a champion is, Eddie.
Someone who'll do the work that other people think is beneath them.
Do you know where I can find a cow in Brooklyn? A cow? Yeah, Marvin said our suspects are staying at a place with a cow outside.
Oh, there's a cow in front of Vaca's steak house.
But that's not a real cow.
It's a sculpture.
You're a genius.
What? What do you say, boss? Want to go catch some bad guys? Hell yes.
Police! Don't move.
Drop the bag.
Put your hands up.
Who's the joke now, bitch? Walsh the dentist's bag, it's empty.
The money's gone.
Where is it? Where is it?! Am I crazy? We know you work for the dentist.
We're not mad.
We just want to get the evidence back.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Only one of you morons is going to get a deal here, you understand? Now, right now your partner's next door talking to my boss.
Let's not forget, Foster is a cop.
He knows how it works.
You think he's gonna keep his mouth shut and go to jail? He's probably selling you out right now.
Think about it.
You picked the wrong precinct to rob, Benjamin.
Oh, come on, please.
I did my homework.
This place is a joke.
Chaotic, disorganized.
Too much personality, not enough discipline.
You give me 24 hours, I bet you I could rob it again.
You're gonna tell me where that money is.
Or what? What are you gonna do, Nancy? Hit me? Hey.
Never mind.
Keebler's talking.
Perfect.
Enjoy your life at sing sing, Benji.
Do you really think that junior varsity psych crap is gonna work on me? I know that Bo is not talking, and he knows I won't.
So you got nothing.
You had a bad dream.
Maybe I am crazy.
Help! Help! Leo.
Hold on, buddy! Just hold on! Stand clear! Gah! Son of a bitch! Leo! Leo! Hey.
Hey.
You popped the couch.
Told you I wasn't crazy.
Brand-new day.
Okay I'm gonna call Nicole and Captain Morgan.
I'll take all the heat.
Thanks, you guys.
All right.
Here it goes.
Wait.
Keebler's girlfriend said that he and Foster rolled up to her place around 11:30.
I'm thinking that they went straight there from the precinct.
But they didn't have time to drop the money anywhere.
Right.
The girlfriend said our suspects stayed at her place until we came and arrested them.
And we searched their apartment, the van Nothing.
So, either they threw the money out the window heh.
Or they never had it in the first place.
The surveillance cameras did lose Keebler and Foster for four minutes.
Yeah, but if they didn't take it out with them, what did they do with it? Nicole just paged us to court.
What do I tell her? Stall her.
Look, if we can't find this money, we've got to tell the D.
A.
's office now.
Detective Beaumont, listen to me very carefully.
This is my decision.
I'm in charge.
Now, go stall my wife.
She's right, Eddie.
You should call your wife.
The box.
What? Somebody sent sergeant brown a box yesterday, and it was full of these dolls.
I I put I put it on that table right over there.
So? So, where's the box? Brown asked me to return the box, and it's gone.
Again, so? So Keebler and Foster knew that they might get caught.
But they had to make sure that the money disappeared.
They couldn't risk taking it out in a backpack.
Hey! I'm looking for a box, about that big.
It would have been dropped off last night.
Last night's mail just went out, so you can Come on.
Move, move, move! Move! Hey! Police! Stop! What the hell are you doing? NYPD.
Open the back.
It's still sealed Booking slip intact.
Now move.
Sirens all the way.
Drive on the sidewalk if you have to.
Got it.
Good work, boss.
Thank you.
Alvarez! Uh, sarge, yes.
Status report.
Uh, all is quiet, sir.
We had a bomb threat last night around 9:00 p.
m.
, but that turned out to be a prank.
Everything's normal.
Is he lying? No, sir.
Okay, what about the banks thing? The what? The Noho strangler? Banks and Delahoy just caught the guy.
Haven't you been following the radio calls? Uh, w well I don't It's called multitasking, Eddie.
Okay.
Say it.
I'm not saying it.
You're gonna say it.
Fine.
Staying at home is not safer than coming to work.
You were right, sarge.
About what? They are good cops.