Turbo FAST (2013) s01e08 Episode Script
Surf 'N Turf - Hardcase Returns
1 # - Whoa! - Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast - # Turbo - Woo! # No quitting! Go, go, go! Water! No, not good enough.
You think we're gonna beat the Inglewood Inchworms with a pathetic showing like that? Run it again! Come on, Whip.
The race isn't for another month.
- And it's a charity exhibition.
- And inchworms are really slow.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you snails wanted to be the best.
- Well, yeah, but - Then we need to practice like the best! Which means being prepared for every opponent.
Even the lowly inchworms.
Now come on! It's time for a nice, long afternoon of wind sprints.
Ha-ha! All this practice is cray-cray.
What we really need is a vacay.
Oh, yeah! Maybe we should hit up the beach.
That sea breeze would feel awfully nice on our shells.
Vacay, vacay! Oh, you snails want a day at the beach? Fine, I'm a reasonable snail.
Let's go to the beach.
Malibu, baby! The land of fun, sun, and girls in skimpy shells.
Ooh! We finally made it to the 'Bu, Boo.
Let's find a spot to lay out.
Lay out? That ain't what we're here for.
Then what are we here for? Resistance training.
Makes wind sprints twice as hard.
Come on, Whip.
You know this isn't the beach day we had in mind.
Well, what would you rather be doing, huh? Building sand houses and digging for nickels? Digging for nickels? Have you never been to the beach before? - Well no.
- The beach is for maxin' your relaxin'.
Come on, take a look at that beautiful ocean, and tell me it doesn't calm your inner snail.
You really think I'm going to look out at some dumb puddle of salt water and suddenly realize how its beautiful waters connect us all.
How these majestic waves bring us joy and peace.
How our world is just a tiny grain of sand in the enormous beach that is the universe.
- It is magnificent.
- What happened to him? Isn't it obvious? His mind has been taken over by snaliens! Nuh-uh.
I've seen this before.
He's gone full Zen.
He's never let himself relax and now it's all coming out at once.
So, um, Whiplash, should we finish up our practice? Practice? Life's too short, baby.
Beach day! Lift! Lift! Muscles! Wow, Skid, that is a serious sand castle.
Double-fortified walls, laser-grid motion detectors, working sand cannons.
It is impenetrable.
Oh, man.
Whiplash? You feeling all right? Never better, my good snail.
In fact, I'm about to shed the confines of this bulky racing shell.
Oh, yeah.
Our boards! Whoa! This is seriously harshing my taquito buzz, brah.
Hey, I remember you guys.
Looks like you've got your own roach coach now, huh? Right on.
I guess we all found our place in this big, beautiful world.
Step off! You're on our turf now.
Hey, man, it's cool.
We wouldn't do anything to disrespect your beautiful new abode.
Our sacred horchata fountain! - Desecration! - Not cool, brahs! You best get your bogus shells off our beach.
What? No way! This is our first day off in months.
- Challenge! - That's right, Warlarva.
If you wanna stay, then you're gonna have to beat us - in a surfing contest.
- A surfing contest, against you? Does that mean we're gonna be Sewer surfing! Yeah, brah.
Downstream from the Malibu Senior Center.
Every time they flush, it brings in a killer set.
Rules are simple, brahs.
We go five rounds, your best against ours.
Last surfer standing wins the round.
OK, since none of us have ever surfed, we probably need a plan.
What do you got for us, Coach? Whoa! Double rainbow, all the way.
Well, I guess if the old Whip was here, he'd say something to motivate us, like, "Surf hard," and "Go get 'em, team!" Well, maybe we should just try it.
How hard can sewer surfing even be? Yeah! Nasty! - OK, it's pretty hard.
- Don't worry, I got this, baby.
I'm just gonna ride the tide.
Go with the flow.
Whoa! Yo, bro, that's an overflow Time out! OK, guys, if we lose one more round, we're done.
The old Whiplash would know what to do.
Maybe I'll add a happy little tree.
Ooh, that's pretty.
Yeah, we need the guy who would blow up at us over small stuff like chewing gum during a race.
- Or not checking my tire pressure.
- Or setting the clubhouse on fire.
Hey, maybe that's how we can get our old coach back.
- By annoying him until he cracks.
- Time to crack the Whip, baby.
Turbo, are you wearing your shell backwards? Oh, yeah.
I know how you hate fads, but this one's so cool.
I mean, who cares if it's totally impractical and cuts my speed in half, right? Right on, Tur-bro.
Let your freak flag fly.
You're up.
Whiplash, I came up with a plan for a little extra income this summer.
We'll rent out the speedway to a traveling flea circus! Now, that's a terrible idea.
We should let them use it for free.
Share and share alike, I always say.
This is what he does to get my attention.
Oh! That's cool.
Just let your aggression out, Turbo.
This is hopeless.
Maybe we should just quit.
- What was that? - I don't know.
His eye twitched when she said the word "quit.
" That's it! The one thing Whiplash can't stand, even in his Zen state, quitting.
Hey, brahs, break's over.
Time to finish getting your tails whooped! Actually, since we're losing and you still have your three best surfers, we think it'd be easiest if we just qui-i-i-it Kicked your taquito-loving butts! Whoa! - Yeah! - That's our coach! Yeah, yeah, we'll celebrate later.
Right now, we surf.
All right, now which one of you tail draggers is next? - White Shadow.
- Shadow, you're big, you're slow, and you're always getting in the way.
- I'm sorry! - You're gonna use that! Get in that roach's way and don't let him pass.
- Warlarva! Warlarva! - White Shadow! White Shadow! Warlarva White Shadow! All right now, Skid.
You've got a tough matchup, but don't worry about that.
The real challenge is gonna be not touching the water.
I heard that the government puts a chemical in there to control your mind.
Anyway, good luck.
No.
No water.
No.
I don't want you messing with my brains! Whoa! All right, garden snail.
It's down to you and Brahdhi.
Luckily, when I was in my state of Zen-like peace, I noticed a couple of things.
One, the butterfly is a beautiful and majestic creature.
Two, Brahdhi's best move is his board check.
Now, you avoid that, and you might stand a chance.
Hope you're ready.
I'm about to dog your bod into a knot, brah-seph.
Yeah? Well, I'm gonna hang ten all over your tubular cowabunga, brah! - What's that? - Oh, did I forget to tell you? It's Prune Juice Friday at the Senior Center.
At exactly four o'clock, all those geezers run to the john at the same time, causing what we like to call The Sewer-nami! Oh, no! He'll be washed right out into the ocean! - I don't see him.
- There he is! Aah! Salt water! Hey, no hop-ons, brah.
He did it! Turbo won! Yes, yes, yes! No, no Yeah! Snailed it! - Nice work, garden snail.
- Well, I got a great coach.
- Whoa! - I know, brah.
That was epic.
Your moves have proved you and your brahs worthy of sharing our beach.
So, in light of our blossoming brahtherly bond, you brahs up for kicking back and noshing on some taquitos, brah-a-brah? What do you say, Coach? Well, if I learned anything from my time of Zen-like clarity, it's that even the best racing snails need some time to relax.
- Oh, yeah! - And you had your time! Now we only got 27 days to prepare for those inchworms! Let's go, go, go! Coming down the homestretch of the Pineapple Grand Prix it's Turbo, about to make his patented under-the-car move for the win.
What a move! Looks like someone might finally beat this lucky, little snail.
And Turbo wins by an eyestalk for his 37th straight victory! Not too shabby, garden snail.
Guess we better make room in the trophy case for that pineapple.
W-What's that now? Great news, brother.
In honor of your record-setting 37th win, we all got together and decided to throw you Oh, no, please, tell me you didn't go overboard with your planning again.
Oh, no, no, no.
We're just gonna throw you a small, intimate, little party.
- Really? - And by little party, I mean a big parade for everyone in town.
Yep, there it is.
Oh, and we're renaming the city, "Turbo Town.
" Chet Actually, that is pretty cool.
Darn right, T.
This is your big day.
Nothing's gonna ruin it.
Hello, Turbo.
Hardcase? I bet you're surprised to see me.
Uh, actually, I can't see you.
Let me adjust this.
Is that better? Hello.
Hello.
What do you want, tiger beetle? OK, my thing's not working, so I'm just gonna talk.
Turbo, I got the invitation to your parade honoring the so-called "World's Fastest Creature.
" Shadow, how'd he get an invitation? What? You said to invite everybody.
- Yeah, but I didn't mean him.
- Doesn't matter.
What matters is, I'm the world's fastest creature.
Really? Because I remember Turbo smoking you when you raced.
That race doesn't count, there was rampant cheating.
Yeah, by you.
Whatever.
The point is you crossed a line.
And consider this my RSVP.
Plus one.
And my plus one is revenge.
I couldn't see their faces, but I bet those snails are pretty scared.
Now, can I use this doohickey to make an e-mail, or is that a whole different thing? Oh, it's still on? Revenge! I can't believe it.
Seriously, who doesn't know how to video chat? No, I mean Hardcase just threatened to take out Turbo.
We should cancel the parade.
I can only imagine what Hardcase might do! He could launch a blimp over the city, and the blimp could be filled with bees.
And the bees could be carrying rocks that they'll drop on us, but they aren't really rocks, they're giant salt crystals! Yeah, I really don't think that's gonna happen.
- But it could.
- Hey, I'm as paranoid as the next guy, but if we cancel the parade now, then Hardcase has already won.
He's right.
Besides, nothing's gonna happen to Turbo as long as we're there to watch his back.
- Well, you know, he's got a point.
- Yeah, we need to do that, that's good.
Aw, yeah, it's time for the Fast Action Security Team, baby! All right, that's enough posing.
Snails, Turbo's safety is priority number one.
I want you to assume everything is a potential threat.
- Welcome to my world.
- No matter how crazy it might seem.
Welcome to my world.
Whoa! Is this my parade car? You got that right.
I called it the "Turbo-mobile.
" I originally designed it for the coming zombie apocalypse, but, uh, it'll work for a parade, too.
Stand here.
Is all this really necessary? Uh Yeah, if you don't want a zombie gnawing on your brains.
He's talking about Hardcase! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll stop him, too.
It's got reinforced steel doors, shatterproof glass, GPS.
I thought of everything.
Um Where's the door to get out? I thought of almost everything.
We can cut him out later.
Now it's go time, snails! There he is! Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! Bravo Charlie, this is Alpha Zulu Foxtrot.
Snail One is in the henhouse, over.
- What'd he say? - Who's Charlie? Just keep your dang eyestalks peeled for any signs of danger.
Rub out, rub out! Those guys are gonna rub out Turbo! Ooh! Love you, Turbo! Love you, Turbo! Swarm, swarm, swarm! Guys, relax, it's just Tito.
Hey, amigos.
I saw you were having a little party, so I'm making you some caramel corn.
False alarm, snails.
Let's keep it moving.
Tango at six o'clock! - What? It's not even 4:30.
- It means, get that guy! Deuce? I just wanted to show Turbo the statue I made of him.
Yeeesh! Well, thanks, little buddy.
I'm, uh I'm sure it used to look great.
Nope, this is how I made it.
I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but, uh, I think we're being a little paranoid.
Come on, there are potential threats all around us.
That granny snail could be an undercover ninja.
That balloon could be filled with knockout gas.
That beetle holding a saltshaker could be - A beetle holding a saltshaker! - Take him down! Drive, drive, drive! Time to go bowling for beetles, baby! Gotcha! Nobody hurts our Turbo.
What are you talking about? I'm Turbo's biggest fan.
You're his biggest fan? Yeah, that's why I'm wearing this Turbo costume.
See, I'm number five, just like him.
Oh, yeah? Then what's with this shaker full of salt?! Salt? That's sugar.
I'm a cane beetle, and that was supposed to be my lunch, thank you very much.
Mmm! His story checks out.
Sorry about that.
Thanks for coming out.
Guess we better tell White Shadow he can bring Turbo back now.
Tell me to do what now? Wait, if White Shadow is here, then who's driving Turbo? Sweet mother of corn! Come on, Shadow, take it easy.
Hardcase?! Hello, Turbo.
Enjoying the ride? Dang it, Skid.
It's all falling into place.
With the great Turbo out of the way, there'll be no debate that I'm the world's fastest creature.
Now, prepare to meet your fiery end as I roll you onto the freeway to be crushed in traffic.
Really, that's how your plan ends? Yeah, why? I don't know.
I mean, it's all right.
It just It seems kind of anticlimactic.
You know, for an evil genius like yourself.
Well, that was just one option.
I have other ideas.
Come on! What's taking so long to get the GPS up? I just gotta save my "Laser Pigs" game.
OK, according to the GPS, the Turbo-mobile is heading south on Sepulveda.
Let's go, snails! I said, let's go.
Just a Yeah.
All right, how's this for an epic plan? I'll violently crush you under that steamroller.
Steamroller? I mean, um, you know, doesn't that seem a little cartoony? Hmm.
Maybe a little.
Good thing my real plan is to send you flying off a cliff! Wow, and I thought the steamroller idea was cliché.
Oh, yeah? Well maybe you'll be a little more surprised when I blast you with a salt cannon! Wait, that's not a real thing.
Ooh, what have we here? Oh, dang.
He's gonna dump Turbo in the tar pits! And so for thousands of years, these very tar pits are where prehistoric creatures, big and small, met their horrific and gory deaths.
Now, who wants juice boxes? The La Brea Tar Pits? Oh, man, that's actually a really good idea.
I mean, come on, Hardcase, don't you think you could do better? Uh-uh.
No, you've been dissing every idea I've had, but I know this one's a winner.
This is where I get off.
No! Huh.
I thought that would've worked.
Whip, I got an idea.
Fire up your engine.
Perfect! Now we just need to launch ourselves off that rock So we can ricochet off the mammoth tusk Then hook that telephone line Which will swing us safely onto Oh! - Or that works, too.
- The next time you win a big race, we're just getting you a card.
I knew I should've just gone with the steamroller.
What a day.
Really?
You think we're gonna beat the Inglewood Inchworms with a pathetic showing like that? Run it again! Come on, Whip.
The race isn't for another month.
- And it's a charity exhibition.
- And inchworms are really slow.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you snails wanted to be the best.
- Well, yeah, but - Then we need to practice like the best! Which means being prepared for every opponent.
Even the lowly inchworms.
Now come on! It's time for a nice, long afternoon of wind sprints.
Ha-ha! All this practice is cray-cray.
What we really need is a vacay.
Oh, yeah! Maybe we should hit up the beach.
That sea breeze would feel awfully nice on our shells.
Vacay, vacay! Oh, you snails want a day at the beach? Fine, I'm a reasonable snail.
Let's go to the beach.
Malibu, baby! The land of fun, sun, and girls in skimpy shells.
Ooh! We finally made it to the 'Bu, Boo.
Let's find a spot to lay out.
Lay out? That ain't what we're here for.
Then what are we here for? Resistance training.
Makes wind sprints twice as hard.
Come on, Whip.
You know this isn't the beach day we had in mind.
Well, what would you rather be doing, huh? Building sand houses and digging for nickels? Digging for nickels? Have you never been to the beach before? - Well no.
- The beach is for maxin' your relaxin'.
Come on, take a look at that beautiful ocean, and tell me it doesn't calm your inner snail.
You really think I'm going to look out at some dumb puddle of salt water and suddenly realize how its beautiful waters connect us all.
How these majestic waves bring us joy and peace.
How our world is just a tiny grain of sand in the enormous beach that is the universe.
- It is magnificent.
- What happened to him? Isn't it obvious? His mind has been taken over by snaliens! Nuh-uh.
I've seen this before.
He's gone full Zen.
He's never let himself relax and now it's all coming out at once.
So, um, Whiplash, should we finish up our practice? Practice? Life's too short, baby.
Beach day! Lift! Lift! Muscles! Wow, Skid, that is a serious sand castle.
Double-fortified walls, laser-grid motion detectors, working sand cannons.
It is impenetrable.
Oh, man.
Whiplash? You feeling all right? Never better, my good snail.
In fact, I'm about to shed the confines of this bulky racing shell.
Oh, yeah.
Our boards! Whoa! This is seriously harshing my taquito buzz, brah.
Hey, I remember you guys.
Looks like you've got your own roach coach now, huh? Right on.
I guess we all found our place in this big, beautiful world.
Step off! You're on our turf now.
Hey, man, it's cool.
We wouldn't do anything to disrespect your beautiful new abode.
Our sacred horchata fountain! - Desecration! - Not cool, brahs! You best get your bogus shells off our beach.
What? No way! This is our first day off in months.
- Challenge! - That's right, Warlarva.
If you wanna stay, then you're gonna have to beat us - in a surfing contest.
- A surfing contest, against you? Does that mean we're gonna be Sewer surfing! Yeah, brah.
Downstream from the Malibu Senior Center.
Every time they flush, it brings in a killer set.
Rules are simple, brahs.
We go five rounds, your best against ours.
Last surfer standing wins the round.
OK, since none of us have ever surfed, we probably need a plan.
What do you got for us, Coach? Whoa! Double rainbow, all the way.
Well, I guess if the old Whip was here, he'd say something to motivate us, like, "Surf hard," and "Go get 'em, team!" Well, maybe we should just try it.
How hard can sewer surfing even be? Yeah! Nasty! - OK, it's pretty hard.
- Don't worry, I got this, baby.
I'm just gonna ride the tide.
Go with the flow.
Whoa! Yo, bro, that's an overflow Time out! OK, guys, if we lose one more round, we're done.
The old Whiplash would know what to do.
Maybe I'll add a happy little tree.
Ooh, that's pretty.
Yeah, we need the guy who would blow up at us over small stuff like chewing gum during a race.
- Or not checking my tire pressure.
- Or setting the clubhouse on fire.
Hey, maybe that's how we can get our old coach back.
- By annoying him until he cracks.
- Time to crack the Whip, baby.
Turbo, are you wearing your shell backwards? Oh, yeah.
I know how you hate fads, but this one's so cool.
I mean, who cares if it's totally impractical and cuts my speed in half, right? Right on, Tur-bro.
Let your freak flag fly.
You're up.
Whiplash, I came up with a plan for a little extra income this summer.
We'll rent out the speedway to a traveling flea circus! Now, that's a terrible idea.
We should let them use it for free.
Share and share alike, I always say.
This is what he does to get my attention.
Oh! That's cool.
Just let your aggression out, Turbo.
This is hopeless.
Maybe we should just quit.
- What was that? - I don't know.
His eye twitched when she said the word "quit.
" That's it! The one thing Whiplash can't stand, even in his Zen state, quitting.
Hey, brahs, break's over.
Time to finish getting your tails whooped! Actually, since we're losing and you still have your three best surfers, we think it'd be easiest if we just qui-i-i-it Kicked your taquito-loving butts! Whoa! - Yeah! - That's our coach! Yeah, yeah, we'll celebrate later.
Right now, we surf.
All right, now which one of you tail draggers is next? - White Shadow.
- Shadow, you're big, you're slow, and you're always getting in the way.
- I'm sorry! - You're gonna use that! Get in that roach's way and don't let him pass.
- Warlarva! Warlarva! - White Shadow! White Shadow! Warlarva White Shadow! All right now, Skid.
You've got a tough matchup, but don't worry about that.
The real challenge is gonna be not touching the water.
I heard that the government puts a chemical in there to control your mind.
Anyway, good luck.
No.
No water.
No.
I don't want you messing with my brains! Whoa! All right, garden snail.
It's down to you and Brahdhi.
Luckily, when I was in my state of Zen-like peace, I noticed a couple of things.
One, the butterfly is a beautiful and majestic creature.
Two, Brahdhi's best move is his board check.
Now, you avoid that, and you might stand a chance.
Hope you're ready.
I'm about to dog your bod into a knot, brah-seph.
Yeah? Well, I'm gonna hang ten all over your tubular cowabunga, brah! - What's that? - Oh, did I forget to tell you? It's Prune Juice Friday at the Senior Center.
At exactly four o'clock, all those geezers run to the john at the same time, causing what we like to call The Sewer-nami! Oh, no! He'll be washed right out into the ocean! - I don't see him.
- There he is! Aah! Salt water! Hey, no hop-ons, brah.
He did it! Turbo won! Yes, yes, yes! No, no Yeah! Snailed it! - Nice work, garden snail.
- Well, I got a great coach.
- Whoa! - I know, brah.
That was epic.
Your moves have proved you and your brahs worthy of sharing our beach.
So, in light of our blossoming brahtherly bond, you brahs up for kicking back and noshing on some taquitos, brah-a-brah? What do you say, Coach? Well, if I learned anything from my time of Zen-like clarity, it's that even the best racing snails need some time to relax.
- Oh, yeah! - And you had your time! Now we only got 27 days to prepare for those inchworms! Let's go, go, go! Coming down the homestretch of the Pineapple Grand Prix it's Turbo, about to make his patented under-the-car move for the win.
What a move! Looks like someone might finally beat this lucky, little snail.
And Turbo wins by an eyestalk for his 37th straight victory! Not too shabby, garden snail.
Guess we better make room in the trophy case for that pineapple.
W-What's that now? Great news, brother.
In honor of your record-setting 37th win, we all got together and decided to throw you Oh, no, please, tell me you didn't go overboard with your planning again.
Oh, no, no, no.
We're just gonna throw you a small, intimate, little party.
- Really? - And by little party, I mean a big parade for everyone in town.
Yep, there it is.
Oh, and we're renaming the city, "Turbo Town.
" Chet Actually, that is pretty cool.
Darn right, T.
This is your big day.
Nothing's gonna ruin it.
Hello, Turbo.
Hardcase? I bet you're surprised to see me.
Uh, actually, I can't see you.
Let me adjust this.
Is that better? Hello.
Hello.
What do you want, tiger beetle? OK, my thing's not working, so I'm just gonna talk.
Turbo, I got the invitation to your parade honoring the so-called "World's Fastest Creature.
" Shadow, how'd he get an invitation? What? You said to invite everybody.
- Yeah, but I didn't mean him.
- Doesn't matter.
What matters is, I'm the world's fastest creature.
Really? Because I remember Turbo smoking you when you raced.
That race doesn't count, there was rampant cheating.
Yeah, by you.
Whatever.
The point is you crossed a line.
And consider this my RSVP.
Plus one.
And my plus one is revenge.
I couldn't see their faces, but I bet those snails are pretty scared.
Now, can I use this doohickey to make an e-mail, or is that a whole different thing? Oh, it's still on? Revenge! I can't believe it.
Seriously, who doesn't know how to video chat? No, I mean Hardcase just threatened to take out Turbo.
We should cancel the parade.
I can only imagine what Hardcase might do! He could launch a blimp over the city, and the blimp could be filled with bees.
And the bees could be carrying rocks that they'll drop on us, but they aren't really rocks, they're giant salt crystals! Yeah, I really don't think that's gonna happen.
- But it could.
- Hey, I'm as paranoid as the next guy, but if we cancel the parade now, then Hardcase has already won.
He's right.
Besides, nothing's gonna happen to Turbo as long as we're there to watch his back.
- Well, you know, he's got a point.
- Yeah, we need to do that, that's good.
Aw, yeah, it's time for the Fast Action Security Team, baby! All right, that's enough posing.
Snails, Turbo's safety is priority number one.
I want you to assume everything is a potential threat.
- Welcome to my world.
- No matter how crazy it might seem.
Welcome to my world.
Whoa! Is this my parade car? You got that right.
I called it the "Turbo-mobile.
" I originally designed it for the coming zombie apocalypse, but, uh, it'll work for a parade, too.
Stand here.
Is all this really necessary? Uh Yeah, if you don't want a zombie gnawing on your brains.
He's talking about Hardcase! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll stop him, too.
It's got reinforced steel doors, shatterproof glass, GPS.
I thought of everything.
Um Where's the door to get out? I thought of almost everything.
We can cut him out later.
Now it's go time, snails! There he is! Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! Bravo Charlie, this is Alpha Zulu Foxtrot.
Snail One is in the henhouse, over.
- What'd he say? - Who's Charlie? Just keep your dang eyestalks peeled for any signs of danger.
Rub out, rub out! Those guys are gonna rub out Turbo! Ooh! Love you, Turbo! Love you, Turbo! Swarm, swarm, swarm! Guys, relax, it's just Tito.
Hey, amigos.
I saw you were having a little party, so I'm making you some caramel corn.
False alarm, snails.
Let's keep it moving.
Tango at six o'clock! - What? It's not even 4:30.
- It means, get that guy! Deuce? I just wanted to show Turbo the statue I made of him.
Yeeesh! Well, thanks, little buddy.
I'm, uh I'm sure it used to look great.
Nope, this is how I made it.
I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but, uh, I think we're being a little paranoid.
Come on, there are potential threats all around us.
That granny snail could be an undercover ninja.
That balloon could be filled with knockout gas.
That beetle holding a saltshaker could be - A beetle holding a saltshaker! - Take him down! Drive, drive, drive! Time to go bowling for beetles, baby! Gotcha! Nobody hurts our Turbo.
What are you talking about? I'm Turbo's biggest fan.
You're his biggest fan? Yeah, that's why I'm wearing this Turbo costume.
See, I'm number five, just like him.
Oh, yeah? Then what's with this shaker full of salt?! Salt? That's sugar.
I'm a cane beetle, and that was supposed to be my lunch, thank you very much.
Mmm! His story checks out.
Sorry about that.
Thanks for coming out.
Guess we better tell White Shadow he can bring Turbo back now.
Tell me to do what now? Wait, if White Shadow is here, then who's driving Turbo? Sweet mother of corn! Come on, Shadow, take it easy.
Hardcase?! Hello, Turbo.
Enjoying the ride? Dang it, Skid.
It's all falling into place.
With the great Turbo out of the way, there'll be no debate that I'm the world's fastest creature.
Now, prepare to meet your fiery end as I roll you onto the freeway to be crushed in traffic.
Really, that's how your plan ends? Yeah, why? I don't know.
I mean, it's all right.
It just It seems kind of anticlimactic.
You know, for an evil genius like yourself.
Well, that was just one option.
I have other ideas.
Come on! What's taking so long to get the GPS up? I just gotta save my "Laser Pigs" game.
OK, according to the GPS, the Turbo-mobile is heading south on Sepulveda.
Let's go, snails! I said, let's go.
Just a Yeah.
All right, how's this for an epic plan? I'll violently crush you under that steamroller.
Steamroller? I mean, um, you know, doesn't that seem a little cartoony? Hmm.
Maybe a little.
Good thing my real plan is to send you flying off a cliff! Wow, and I thought the steamroller idea was cliché.
Oh, yeah? Well maybe you'll be a little more surprised when I blast you with a salt cannon! Wait, that's not a real thing.
Ooh, what have we here? Oh, dang.
He's gonna dump Turbo in the tar pits! And so for thousands of years, these very tar pits are where prehistoric creatures, big and small, met their horrific and gory deaths.
Now, who wants juice boxes? The La Brea Tar Pits? Oh, man, that's actually a really good idea.
I mean, come on, Hardcase, don't you think you could do better? Uh-uh.
No, you've been dissing every idea I've had, but I know this one's a winner.
This is where I get off.
No! Huh.
I thought that would've worked.
Whip, I got an idea.
Fire up your engine.
Perfect! Now we just need to launch ourselves off that rock So we can ricochet off the mammoth tusk Then hook that telephone line Which will swing us safely onto Oh! - Or that works, too.
- The next time you win a big race, we're just getting you a card.
I knew I should've just gone with the steamroller.
What a day.
Really?