Underemployed (2012) s01e08 Episode Script

1 Surprise! You guys.
I can record songs.
I was wrong to start whatever it was with Jamel.
Do you want me to leave with you, Jerry Maguire style? I will do it.
Maybe someday you'll come to stay now that we don't work together.
- You're really not an item? - We could be.
- What does that mean? - Yeah, what does that mean? Do you think Lou is seeing someone on the side? Is that possible? I really like your new place.
I think it likes you, too.
Hang on.
Turn that thing off.
I will.
It's Raviva, hang on.
Hola.
Hey, uh, can you clear something up? Uh, sure, if it's quick.
I was just playing a new song for these guys and they're telling me that "for intensive purposes" isn't really a phrase.
Is that true? What phrase? "For intensive purposes.
" Oh, you mean, "for all intents and purposes.
" No, I mean I have purposes, they're really intense, and I'm telling you about them.
I'm still here.
Yeah, I know.
Um, can I talk to whoever is stupidly arguing with you about this? Yes, please, and tell him I'm right.
Hey, sorry to bother you.
What are you doing? It was a mistake.
You know that every time you argue with her about grammar, it spins out of control.
I know, I know.
Get off the phone, tell her she's right, and apologize.
It just slipped out.
Don't let it happen again.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Always right, my friend.
Back to business.
Wait.
Wait a second, wait.
Where are you going? Come back.
This is the first time we're going to do it since we don't work together.
It's the dawn of a new era.
I want everything to be perfect.
What is this music? What, you don't like it? Uh, no, I think it's interesting.
I just who is it? It's just a little play list.
I'll gift you the whole thing.
Maximum.
All right, baby.
Babe.
It's Jamel.
I thought this was over.
- It is.
- So why is he calling? I don't know.
Look, I'm not taking the call, am I? I'll call back later and make it crystal clear, okay? Okay.
Okay.
Now get back to what you were doing.
Please.
Hello? Jamel, hey.
- I saw you called.
- Yeah, I was calling to see Look, I guess I wasn't clear enough the other day.
I can't hang out with you.
Raviva I mean, I'm with Lou and I need to be with Lou and I can't be with other guys.
Raviva, listen, I Not that there are other guys, it's just you.
But it can't be you.
I-I can't be with you.
Is that clear? I mean, I'm being clear.
It has to stop.
I was calling to tell you that there's a slot open tomorrow night at martyrs', and I told Isaac, the dude who books the talent, that he should give you the gig.
Me? Yeah.
You.
Um Oh, my God.
Can I pretend you're a girl for, like, a second? How about you pretend you're a lady and not say what I think you're about to say? Most amazing sex ever.
I'm so happy for you.
I mean, there are some guys who are too gentle and there are some guys who are too rough, but if you find a guy that can do both at the same time, then it's like, "Oh! Golden goose.
" Sounds like a great code name.
There's only one problem.
Sterile? No.
He's got this play list that he likes to play on his iPod when we're messing around, and it kind of sounds like a field of pretty flowers dying.
Ask him to change it.
I did, after the first two times, but he wouldn't.
It's, like, his thing.
Uh-oh.
Wha-oh? He's a home fielder.
Are you speaking English? You got yourself a home fielder.
You know, the kind of guy who doesn't feel like a man unless he has a home field advantage.
It's going to be his cars, his music, his kids' names, his everything for the rest of your life.
He's not going to let you choose anything.
My guess is, you change the music, your little golden goose is going to start quacking like a little rubber duck, and quack, quack right out the door.
Home fielder.
Just saying.
Stop saying.
Home fielder.
La prince Lou of Chicago.
Please stop calling me that.
Got a little project for you.
Does it involve leaving the building for ten minutes to breathe fresh air? Here's the deal.
We've made a lot of environmental improvements over the years.
We've done it quietly, but we want the new catalog to play up these improvements that we've made.
Don't ever let me go on record as giving a crap about how you feel, but I thought you might actually like that.
- Sure.
- Let me give it a shot.
Have it to me tomorrow, your majesty.
Hey, what you doing? Aerobics.
Hey, do you think maybe you can babysit Rosemary today, now? Uh, yeah, sure.
Why, what's up? Well, I gotta go down to martyrs' and play a few songs for the booker.
There's an opening tomorrow night.
Nice.
How'd that happen? Um, Jamel hooked it up.
Jamel? Is that going to be okay? Yeah, it's fine.
I told him we were done with even being friends, so he's just trying to help.
Okay.
Give me that baby.
Thank you so much.
Hey.
Uh, also, um, she might have just pooped.
Hm.
Yep.
Have fun.
Do you understand what just happened here? All we did is conform to E.
P.
A.
Standards in the most minimal way possible.
They want me to make it look like my dad is the second coming of Al Gore.
Nice to see you today, Bekah.
Do you hear what I'm saying? Resentfully agreeing to government standards and actually greening your company because you give a crap about the future are two totally different things.
I had a really nice time with you the other day in your dad's office.
Yeah, that was great, but he drew me in like it was some sort of mission from God.
It's not.
- Louis.
- Are you in favor of this? Louis.
In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little busy managing my own compromises right now, so maybe we can talk about this later, like, in 2017 or, I don't know, never.
Hey, you're wanna see me? I've retorical question.
If you're recent the worst on this dating sites, how honest you have to be? Sir, what is you really call me for? Just answer the question.
Yeah, I mean, people are looking for the connection.
Be wait.
Just gonna see you.
Real job? Yeah.
Should I stay on sterol? I am.
Mike saving all the conversation.
Great.
- Get out here.
- Yeah.
Forever If forever's as long As it takes So that pacifier part of the act or no? I'm sorry? Pacifier.
It's not a drug thing, is it? No.
It's a it's a baby thing.
Oh, okay.
It's not a part of the act.
Fine.
So I can play? The acoustic thing's a little '90s, but what the hell, right? I'll put you on at 9:00.
Uh, 20-minute set.
Don't go over.
Everyone always tries to go over.
I won't go over.
Okay, everyone thinks they're special.
I am special, but I won't go over.
All right.
Thanks, man.
Yep.
5:00 sound check.
Don't be late.
- Everyone's always late.
- Be on time.
I won't be late.
Yeah, whatever.
Thanks.
Sweet.
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
So you want to go grab lunch? Um, yeah, yeah.
Cool.
Lunch.
How's that for a view, Rosemary? Great beach day, huh? Uh, what? I was just saying it's a great day for the beach, you know, to be out.
Yeah.
I love the summer here.
You're new to Chicago? Yeah, I just moved from Portland.
Oh, rain.
Hate being involuntarily wet.
Right? It actually doesn't rain there as much as you'd think.
But there is this constant cold mist, like a never-ending, clammy facial.
Ew.
Uh, I'm I'm Sophia.
I'm Rachel.
Hi.
You know, one winter here, and you'll be begging for that clammy mist.
Ugh.
So are you here with the whole family? Oh, no, he's not mine.
Well, he's mine 40 hours a week, but I moved alone.
So cool.
I mean, you must be so brave.
I could never move anywhere all alone.
I like it.
Like to move around, meet new people.
It's fun.
Neat.
Thanks.
Okay.
Nap time.
One sec.
We could go sans music once.
There we go.
What? I was thinking, would you mind if I played my music? Your music? Yeah.
Just this once.
Uh, not at all.
Or we could leave this on and not lose any momentum.
I think we've got all the momentum we need.
I'm not worried about that.
I just want to play my music.
This? Yeah.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Can I This Yeah.
Go for it.
Sure that's okay? More than okay.
Salud.
Madura.
She was this pale, dark-haired, quirky, nanny adventurer.
And hot? So hot.
I think she's straight, though.
You were awesome.
Muchas gracias.
Can you sign me? Thank you.
Work.
Sign me up for some of that.
So wait.
You don't know if she's straight or gay? No, I wasn't going to ask her.
- And you couldn't just tell? - No.
If your radar isn't jammed, you can tell someone's sexuality within three seconds of meeting them.
You made that up.
No, it's the truth.
The body knows.
Check it out.
Straight.
Gay.
Straight.
Bi.
Straight.
That guy is straight? Are you doubting my work? Excuse me.
Hi.
Hi, yeah.
Sorry, yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
Um, are you straight? Yeah, why? Me and my friend, we were just wondering if you were straight.
Yeah.
Wanna party? Uh, no.
No, mm-mmm.
We were we were just wondering.
Thanks.
Sorry.
Wow, impressive.
The body knows.
Well, my body is stupid.
I need your help.
What do you want for dinner? Whatever.
I hate having to figure out dinner every night.
It's like a black hole waiting for me at the end of each day.
Dinner.
I'll eat anything.
Or I can do it.
Hello.
Hi.
I got some good news today.
Yeah? Booked a gig.
Where? Martyr's.
A slot opened up and I'm going to fill it.
I'll call your mom and see if she can watch Rosemary.
Cool.
So how'd you get it? Hm? How'd you get the gig? What do you mean? How did you get the gig? How did you secure the right to perform at their venue? Well, the normal way.
By being awesome.
Yeah, but you've been trying to get a gig ever since you got back.
How did you get it? Jamel hooked it up.
Jamel? Yeah, but it's cool, 'cause he knows that we're not a thing.
You and him or you and me? Don't do that.
Don't pretend like you don't understand.
No, does he know you're not a thing with him or does he know you're not a thing with me? Because I'd at least like to know what Jamel knows.
Lou.
Just so I'm clear.
He knows the guy who books the place.
He asked him if he knew anyone who would play on short notice, and he called me.
That's it.
If you don't want me to do it, I won't do it.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't you do that.
No, I'm serious, I won't.
No.
No, don't pretend that I would ever deny you the right to do it.
Whatever.
It's fine.
It's cool.
Good job.
Thanks.
Beans and tortillas? Sure.
Nice work.
Yeah, I'm a regular Leni Riefenstahl.
From accounting? She did Nazi propaganda.
I didn't know that either until last night, when I was so disgusted with myself for doing this, I Wikipedia'd "sellout" and drifted to her.
Is it fun for you to be such a pain in the ass to yourself? Because none of this is untrue.
No, it's not untrue.
It could just be more true.
Well, I think you did a good job.
But what do I know? I'm a sellout.
I'm going to show this to your dad.
My guess is, he'll be very proud.
Come on, Miles.
Ugh, Miles, are you getting anything? It's been five seconds.
Maybe you should just ask her.
No, I can't ask her if she's gay.
- Why not? - You did it last night.
Yeah, to a stranger who I'd never be with.
You ask her.
Me? Yeah, I mean, she's a stranger that you'd never be with.
Uh, I'm not sure about that.
Okay, I'm going dark.
Out.
Hey.
Hi.
So gay or straight? Uh, I got nothing.
Miles.
What, Soph? What can I say? She's jamming my signal.
You were right.
What am I going to do? I know, I know.
Ask her if she likes roller derby.
What? Why? I've never met a straight girl in my life who even knows what roller derby is.
You've got to do it.
Okay.
Go get her.
Wait, wait, wait.
What is roller derby? It doesn't matter.
Just go get her.
Go, tiger! What's the verdict? Well, she doesn't know what roller derby is, but she likes rock climbing.
Damn.
I invited her to Raviva's show.
She said yes? She said maybe.
Ah, damn.
Did she smell like patchouli? Sandalwood.
Damn, she's good.
She's more than good.
Damn.
Miles.
Don't even think about it.
She's mine.
So come, come The destruction's just begun Can I get a little more guitar on the monitor? Sure.
Thank you.
So come, come The destruction's just begun Are you hearing a weird echo? No.
It sounds great.
Are you just saying that, or does it really sound okay? You sound really good.
Okay.
Thanks.
So come, come Bekah, Bekah, Bekah, Bekah.
If you're going to make another long speech about the environment, don't.
I wasn't going to.
Okay, so what do you need? I just want to say I want to say I'm sorry for not - following up on, you know, what we did.
- That's okay.
No, it's not.
It was Hi.
It was nice, I just I'm just a little confused right now.
- You don't need to explain.
- I don't? No, wanting to explain is plenty.
Just get back to work.
Okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
Hot toddy.
Wow.
Thank you.
I have never ordered a hot toddy before, and judging from the look I got from the bartender, I don't think anyone else has either.
Well, thank you for enduring that.
You got it.
Cheers.
Fine.
Is Lou coming out tonight? Uh, yeah.
Can I ask you something personal? Sure.
Do you think you two are really in it for the long haul? I hope so.
It's not exactly what I had planned for my life, but I love him.
I want to make it work, you know? But are you happy? Look, Jamel.
I don't want to sound like some wise person, but once you have a kid, that question just doesn't seem to matter quite as much.
Well, that doesn't seem right.
Kids want their parents to be happy.
Jamel, did you ask me to play this gig because I asked you to play this gig because I think people should hear your music.
And that's it? That's most of it.
Come on, don't make me lie.
Yeah, that's most of it.
I'm a fan.
Want another one? No, I'm good.
Ask the bartender to make me something really tough, just to, you know.
Yeah, good luck with that one.
Hey.
You're going to do great tonight.
Thank you.
Ready? Of course you're not.
We're not late yet, so you're not ready.
Aw, it's so good to be known.
How'd it go with Todd? It wasn't the smoothest moment in American relationship history.
Why? What happened? Well, we went back and forth, but in the end, we ended up playing his music.
You okay with that? Yeah, I mean it's not like I hate his music.
It's it's just You know, it's super convenient, because, you know, after you're done doing it, you don't even have to turn it off.
It just puts you right to sleep, so that's a plus.
Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with a home fielder? I mean, come on, Daph.
Miles.
There's no field, and it's not a game.
People are who they are, and if you want to make it work, you accept certain things.
I'm okay with that.
Maybe someday you're going to find somebody you're really into.
You'll see.
Speak of the devil.
Big night.
Yeah.
How many songs is she playing? Uh, five or six.
Are they any good? There's one that I haven't heard yet, but the rest are pretty cool.
Cool.
Oh, no.
What the hell's he doing here, man? He got her the gig.
- But I thought that they - I know, I know.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Hey, Jamel.
Jamel.
Come here, join us.
Come here.
How's it going? Oh, going good.
Hey, thank you.
Thanks so much again for for getting her the gig.
Yeah, sure.
It's a it's a great opportunity for her.
It's no problem at all.
Cool.
Cool.
Yeah.
So I'm going to go check out sound.
Good call.
Sound.
Really? Yeah, I'm not proud.
Soph! Oh, hey.
Hey, what's up? Hi.
Hey there.
Where's your lady crush? She's not here yet? Not that I've seen.
Do you think she bailed? Hey.
Oh, hi, there you are.
You're the guy from the beach.
What beach? There's no beach.
No, I remember Long story.
Come here often? Not in a long time.
It actually used to be a reggae club.
You went to reggae shows? Yeah.
I had dreadlocks.
Really? Glad I didn't meet you back then.
Then I guess that I am, too.
I came.
What? I mean, you.
You you came.
Yeah, I did.
So cool.
Uh, I'll get us a drink.
I love your jeans.
Oh, uh, thanks.
I have a slight denim obsession.
Can I see? Sure.
Oh, yeah.
And the back? Turn around.
Okay, uh Oh, yeah.
They make your ass look really good.
I love Pedro's.
They work really well on smaller frames like yours.
Mine are Joe's.
Yeah.
Also really appropriate.
Super soft, right? Yeah.
Mm, super-soft.
You know what? I just grabbed your ass.
I'm going to buy you a drink.
It's the least I can do.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll take a beer.
Okay.
Hey, everybody.
Thank you all for coming.
Sometimes a lifetime isn't enough time Sometimes tomorrow comes a little too late Hey, thanks for inviting me.
Of course.
Thanks for coming.
Yeah.
I probably have to leave after your friend's set.
I have Philip tomorrow.
The baby? Yeah.
Thought he might be your boyfriend.
Oh.
Nope.
No boyfriend.
Huh.
Till it's later than late Till every star comes out and every heart breaks Darling, I'm going to try God, your friend is beautiful.
Yeah.
So are you.
What? Whoa.
Oh my God.
I'm I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Um, I'm not, uh, into girls.
It's okay.
That's that's cool.
I'm sorry if I - Oh, my God, I touched your ass.
- No, you didn't do anything.
It was my fault.
Um, would you please just watch the music? It's fine, it's fine.
Forget it.
Mm.
It's fine.
Then darling, don't worry 'Cause I'm in no hurry Think I'm going to go get some snaps.
Whenever you're ready I'll still be here And I'm gonna wait Hey.
You gotta let Daphne choose the music sometimes when you do your your thing.
What, she talks to you about that? Yes.
I'm doing you a favor, dude.
Trust.
That is more to her than you think.
Just let her choose the music sometimes.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
Seriously.
Shh.
Forever, if forever's As long as it takes Thank you.
All right.
This is a new song.
It's called "Come.
" When you're near I'm afraid to dance I'm drunk And it's not the beer Ooh, boy, I cave into fear when you're near I lose my words I sing the songs I think you might hear So I'm going to go.
And it's not about this kissing.
I have Philip, so It was really great to see you.
Bye.
Bye.
My world will crumble And fall if I let you win So come, come The destruction's just begun Come, come, come When I hear your voice I get an urge To call you "dear" Ooh, boy I wish you were here When you're here I lose my nerve I turn into someone I've never been Oh, boy, I'm letting you in Oh, 'cause I want All of it and more I know the stakes I know the score My world will Crumble and fall If I let you in So come, come The destruction's just begun Come Come Come So come, come The destruction's just begun Come Come Come So come Come Come Thank you.
There she is.
Hey.
That was phenomenal.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Although you should probably get going.
I think Lou is probably coming down any minute.
I'll get going.
I just want to let you know I can wait.
For what? You know, like the song.
I can wait as long as it takes.
For what? I don't get it.
You know.
What what are you waiting for, Jamel? Are you waiting for Lou and I to implode and for my life to fall apart, and Rosemary to grow up with broken up parents? Is that what you're waiting for? No, no.
Please listen to me.
Do not wait.
What are you doing? You told me not to wait.
Jamel.
This is my fault.
It's my fault.
I shouldn't let you do this for me.
Look, I really like you, but I don't want to date you.
I don't want to have an affair with you, and I really don't want to break up with Lou.
I'm sorry.
We've been through this it takes me three days, maybe four.
Oh, hey! Hey, rock star.
Veev, you were so great.
Thanks.
Where's Lou? I don't know.
Um, I gotta go find him.
I'm sorry, guys.
Thanks for coming so much.
Bye.
Whoa, what's the matter with her? No clue.
Home fielder.
Hey.
Hey.
I was looking all over for you.
Why'd you take off? Missed Rosemary.
I went and got her early.
Did you have fun? Yeah.
It was a blast.
Your hair looked really nice.
Thanks.
Yeah, yeah.
Is that how Jamel likes it? You saw.
What? What what would I have seen? What was there to see? What? I-I don't know what you're talking about.
Lou, I didn't kiss him, okay? He kissed me.
I pushed him away, and I told him You told me that I don't want to wake the baby up.
You told me that you were done with him, and you obviously weren't.
I was.
I am.
What, until he calls you with another gig or whatever? That's not what it's like.
What's it like, then? How am I supposed to know, Veev, what it's like? This is what it's like.
He offered me a gig, and I wanted it so badly that I ignored the problem and I took it.
I screwed up, okay? But I told him before the gig that we were done, and then he got drunk, and then he kissed me.
I'm going to sleep on the couch.
I'm telling you the truth, Lou.
Yeah, I know.
I-I know you are.
I just I want to sleep on the couch.
We'll talk tomorrow.
Good night.
Lou.
- Lou, thank God.
- Paul? Yeah, listening.
I'm on a date with some woman from that website.
Cool.
Not cool, bro.
Not cool.
Why? She's brought her four kids.
Four kids! She probably message you, because it's whole steroid thing.
If you think Listen, what are the rules here? Can I just pop the shoot and get out here? It'll ruin your reputation on the site.
So write just some weird sterol-dude out for sex.
And what like "find me"? - No.
- Okay, I'm cool with that.
I'm out here.
Hey.
Lou.
What? What you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? Can we talk? Can't.
I'm late for work.
Good morning, glory.
Need food.
Then food is what you're going to get.
Thank you.
De Nada.
So the little music problem I was having? Problem no more.
What happened? I don't know.
He just figured it out, I guess.
He just needed a moment.
That's great.
I know, right? It's so cool to, like, push through something and see that things can change.
I bet.
But thank you for listening.
You're the best.
So hungry.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm sorry about last night.
It's okay.
It's it's fine.
I was flattered.
Should have just asked if you were gay, right? Do I seem like a lesbian to you? I'm really asking.
I don't know.
Do I? I don't know.
I don't know.
But I guess I'll see you around here sometime.
Maybe.
Bye.
Bye.
It's okay.
Delete.
No more coffee shop, schmoozey.
It's probably for the best.
You were getting really fussy about your lattes.
Oh, don't be a hater.
You did a really great job.
Would you come with me, please? Why? What's going on? Just come with me.
Is this about the catalog? No, it's not.
If you start this up, I'm not going to want to stop.
Then don't.