Up Here (2023) s01e08 Episode Script

1
Come.
I came to New York to be a writer.
And sure, some
distractions got in the way.
But I stand before you today
recommitted to my craft.
If given this incredible opportunity,
I am confident that I will be
the discreet, tidy, easygoing,
you'll-never-even-know-I'm-there
roommate
that you've been looking for.
What do you think, Dave?
Sure. Yeah.
- Room is yours.
- Really?
Oh, my God. Great.
Because I've been staying at the YMCA,
and I'm not sure what
the song is talking about
because "fun" is definitely not
the first word that comes to mind.
Well, I was just telling Dave that, uh,
we need some more female energy here.
Yeah, I-I'm curious.
How, how did you two meet?
I was just coming back
from a year abroad, and, uh,
bumped into Marta right
outside the building.
Almost like she was waiting for me.
Almost.
We started talking and turns
out we had so much in common.
Like, her favorite books are literally
the same ones I have on my shelf.
That is so crazy.
It's not that crazy.
Do you have a boyfriend or?
Um, no. No, I'm
- Mm-mm, no. - Well,
I should warn you,
the room we have
available is very small.
I mean, it's definitely
not a closet, but
I'm sure it's perfect.
I'm telling ya, it's all smiles
out there at the Christmas party,
- but we are at Defcon Fucked.
- Damn.
They're saying hundreds of
clients' personal info leaked.
No one's seen a data
breach like this before.
I.T. is shitting itself.
But it's nothing
compared to what's coming.
Y2K?
We're talking four horsemen
of the apocalypse shit.
Hey, you're welcome to join us
at my parents' place out East.
That's very generous of you,
but I think I'm good. Thanks.
Oh, just gonna cuddle in with
Random Lindsay for the holidays, huh?
- Huh?
- Yeah something like that.
- Sorry, Chris. No room at
the pad for you, I'm afraid.
Associates and above only.
Totally get it, fellas. I, I
appreciate you even thinking of me.
We didn't.
Well, Merry Christmas, gents.
I don't care that you're
not here to see the lights ♪
That we're not making
matching footprints in the snow ♪
I don't need you here ♪
To warm my winter nights ♪
I don't buy into
the myth of mistletoe ♪
It's important to remember ♪
That December's just December ♪
Then it's over and by
New Year's, I'll be fine ♪
But as flurries swirl midair,
I stop and say a silent prayer ♪
I hope your Christmas
sucks as much as mine ♪
I don't know ♪
If you'd have helped
me choose a tree ♪
Would you let me make
you skate in Central Park ♪
Either way ♪
What's meant to be is meant to be ♪
And the twinkle lights
still come on after dark ♪
So it's really not so tragic ♪
You're not here to share the magic ♪
Though it is a
little lonely, I admit ♪
Still, the silver bells are ringing ♪
And the carolers are singing ♪
And I really hope you
also feel like shit ♪
I don't mind ♪
- I don't mind ♪
- That I won't buy that perfect gift ♪
Based on something I
remembered you once said ♪
Come to think ♪
It gives my soul a little lift ♪
That I won't have to return it ♪
'Cause I never plan ahead ♪
And as Santa Cons are drinking ♪
I still wonder what you're thinking ♪
Are you wishing things
were like they were before ♪
This Christmas kinda sucks ♪
Because of you, this Christmas sucks ♪
So, I really
hope that yours sucks ♪
More ♪
Ooh, and another thing
I'm gonna say it. It's
better without him.
It's so nice to be alone. Without her.
- Definitely quieter.
- And less crazy.
Don't forget, he kissed his
ex-girlfriend with his tongue.
Who leaves their fiancée six
days before a wedding? Psycho.
You'll find someone else.
You have to.
Think of your eggs.
I'm here. That's all you need.
- You're so fucking weird with him.
- It's Christmas!
Do you even care that
I finished my book?
- Yes!
- Uh, yeah, of course. Book. Good job.
The Unlikely Adventure
of Squid the Squirrel.
Y-You told me to send it to
you when I was finished, so.
I had a feeling about you.
You, you liked it?
I did have an illustrator I wanted
to recommend, if you're open.
His name is Mr. McGooch.
Stop.
- Really?!
- The journey of your character:
is she a squid or a squirrel?
And then, in the end, of course,
you reveal she's neither.
She's she's complicated,
like the best characters are.
Yes! See, I, I knew you would get it.
But is she also,
maybe, a little gross?
Tentacles all over her body.
She's a monster?
Oh, well, y-y Uh,
yes, uh, but and no.
She The See, she
feels like a monster
because she's different, you know?
But, but I, I think
she could be adorable.
I don't mean to be immodest,
but even with my talent,
I have no idea how to
make the grotesque mutant
you have written, in any way, adorable.
You just said the best characters
were the complicated ones.
Well, there's complicated
and there's hideous.
Hideous doesn't sell books.
Look at The Giving Tree.
Despicable person.
Very handsome young man.
These are the realities.
Now what if we forget
about the whole squid business
and we give our squirrel some freckles
and a ponytail
some cute bangs.
And, um, w-what, what happens
if I don't wanna change it?
Your prerogative entirely.
You'll just have to
find another illustrator.
Think about it.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
Tell me when you have a decision.
Jimenez.
Oh, Mr. Waltham.
We need to talk.
- Is everything okay?
- Sit down.
We have identified the
source of the data breach.
It's Kevin.
Kevin leaked clients'
personal information?
Not exactly.
The hackers installed
malware in the bank's system
via the deluge of pornographic films
Kevin downloaded off of the internet.
Oh.
That's, um I can't even
Kevin is denying everything.
And if I'm being honest,
I'm inclined to believe him.
There's no way that kid is bright enough
to take down a network firewall.
So
is there something
you'd like to tell me?
Oh shit. What the hell is this?
What did you tell him?
I didn't say anything.
The fire alarm went off.
That was me! I was buying us time.
He left for the day for the
cattle feed IPO road show.
Well, now he just wants to meet
with me first thing tomorrow morning.
He's gonna know it was me,
Kevin. He probably already does.
I mean, it's true. You were the
one who took down the firewall.
Because you and Chad asked me to!
What, what, what I'm saying is,
no one's hands are clean here.
Look Chad is Dick's son.
He's protected no matter what.
Which leaves you and me.
I can't go down for
this. I have a family.
You do?
Yeah, man. Melissa and the twins?
You never even mention them.
Well, why would I?
The point is, we could
both lose everything here.
We need a united front.
Yeah, okay.
Aside from the three of us,
who's the only other witness?
Chris.
He's not one of us. You know that.
He biffed the Pringles deal.
His own lead.
He has no future at the bank as it is.
Either he loses the job
now or six months from now.
It doesn't matter.
It matters to him.
I thought you had what
it takes for this job.
- I do.
- Then that settles it.
Whoa, it's it's big.
Yeah it's technically
a junior one-bedroom,
but pretty good size.
And you're back in the, uh
Junior one closet?
Um,
- I finished my book.
- Wow.
I'd love to read it.
When you're ready to let me.
You really don't have to.
I would like to.
I think I may have
even found a publisher.
I mean, they have notes, you
know, but, uh, a-all publishers do.
- What are the notes?
- Well, they think my
main character is sort of ugly?
But it's, it's not a big deal. And
it's a really great opportunity.
Hm how'd you land that?
Through Ted.
McGooch.
It would be under his imprint.
What a guy.
Right okay.
So, you said you had something for me.
My dad found these in my room.
My slippers?
That's why you called me? Is
to give me back my slippers?
Actually, I wanted to get
your advice on something,
but I'm not sure I really
trust your judgment.
Wow.
And here I thought you were calling
to maybe, I don't know, apologize.
And what would I be apologizing for?
How about the fact that you
fucking cheated on me, Miguel?!
I explained this to you!
- Fiona came to me
- Yeah. No, right, sorry.
- She kissed you.
- Oh, too bad you were stuck in Vermont
returning your wedding
dress to your fiancée.
Because remember, you were engaged,
which you somehow
forgot to mention to me
in the five months we were dating.
Yeah, I guess it's kind of like
how you forgot to mention to me
that you were almost engaged to the
woman that you cheated on me with!
That's a pretty big difference!
- Jesus, Yogurt. No! Stop!
- Hey, Yogurt!
Ow, fuck!
Hey, shh.
- It's okay It's okay. You're okay.
- Jesus Christ. No, it's fine. I'm fine.
- I just
- You're okay, you're okay.
You're telling him it's okay?
He's scared. He doesn't
like people yelling.
It freaks him out.
He just fucking bit me, Miguel!
- With his teeth.
- Are you okay?
Oh, my God.
You know, I don't know what it is
with you and your fucking psycho dog.
There's nothing with me
and my psycho dog. He's old.
Okay, well, you two deserve each other.
Oh, and by the way,
congrats on the apartment.
I hear it has great amenities!
- What are you doing?
- Put that down.
Do not read that.
Hey, listen to me.
Your career is on the line here, okay?
Your future is on the line.
We got a young man's life to destroy!
In a good way. Of course.
Are you ignoring me?
Hey!
Hey, asshole. Listen to me.
I'm your best friend.
I'm your best friend, man.
What the hell is going on?
I've been waiting 20
minutes. We said 8:30.
I did it.
All of it.
Let me guess, your dad
found more slippers.
I don't know what kind of changes
the publishers are telling you to make,
and it's it's none of my business,
but don't,
don't change anything.
Everyone tells Squid she's different.
Everyone tells her she doesn't belong.
All those voices the
way they stay with her,
floating in her head, following her,
saying "no" to her in a
million different ways,
until she finally
says "no" back.
Whoever told you Squid was ugly,
they don't see what I do.
Hi.
Thank you so much for coming.
I was in the area.
My latex wholesaler is
just around the block.
For my New Year's suit.
Right.
Um
so I've made my decision.
And I realize this could be
a life-changing opportunity.
Absolutely.
But the thing is,
my life has already changed so much,
which is exactly what I wanted.
I wanted to change
everything about myself.
And I've listened to
so many different people
telling me who I should be.
Kinda like Squid.
Yeah, I listened to roommates, and
essayists, and writing teachers,
and marionette puppeteers
slash drug dealers, and you.
And I finally realized
I don't wanna be
somebody else anymore.
And I don't want Squid
to be anybody else either.
Maybe she is ugly.
Maybe nobody'll like her.
But she is who she is.
I can't change that.
Okay.
So, uh what's the plan?
Pound the pavement?
Cold call publishers?
I guess I'm betting on me.
How very New York of you.
Happy New Year.
Hey.
What are you doin'? Everybody's
askin' where you are.
I was tryin' to figure out
how much of my furniture
I could fit in here.
I may have to move back in, temporarily.
I, um
I got fired.
Oh, Mig.
What happened?
Uh, it's it's complicated.
Um but
it's fine.
I'm fine.
Which is funny.
I've spent my whole life
scared of losing things.
And now, I've lost
pretty much everything.
My job, Lindsay and
I-I still don't understand
what happened with Lindsay.
Everything seemed great and then
It turned out, we didn't know each
other as well as we thought we did.
There were things she didn't tell me.
Things I didn't tell her.
Have you talked at all?
She came over the other
night to get her slippers,
and Yogurt bit her.
I ended up
I wasn't defending Yogurt, but
Oh boy.
There was this day a
few weeks after Mom died.
I came home from school,
and you were standing outside
our old house, you remember?
We had that red door.
And you had this big smile on your face.
I remember you said there was
something incredible inside,
something that I was gonna love.
And for a second, I thought maybe,
maybe it's her
behind the door.
Waiting.
Maybe my mom didn't die.
And I opened the door, and
there was this little puppy
in a cardboard box.
And you said,
"Diego already decided
his name is Yogurt."
I guess he's not just a dog to me.
Did ya tell Lindsay that?
I'm glad I didn't
'cause now she's gone.
You have to let people in.
Okay. And then, what if
What if they leave?
They do.
What if they don't understand?
They don't.
What if they
get sick?
They might.
But you can't spend your whole
life locked up in your head.
You have to trust someone.
I'll see you out there?
Do you really think she's
gonna be waiting for you?
This is tragic. He's not
going to be there, Linds.
Bro, you should be at your dad's
party grindin' on that chick Isabela.
Don't care if she's your third cousin.
Even for the end of the world,
you're much too puffy
to be seeing anyone else.
In all this crazy world ♪
There's one thing I am certain of ♪
For every hour and month and
year that we are here to love ♪
Regardless of how much ♪
We talk, we tell, we touch ♪
No matter what we suffer through ♪
I can never know you ♪
Can I ever know you ♪
We drive each other crazy ♪
We defend and we attack ♪
But something stronger always
seems to keep us coming back ♪
When you reveal to me
a side I couldn't see ♪
I fall in love with someone new ♪
- But can I ever know you ♪
- I can never ♪
- Know you ♪
- I can never know you ♪
Can I ever know you ♪
- I can never know you ♪
- Can I ever know ♪
I want to keep on learning
more and more and more and more ♪
A lifetime's not enough, but
that is what a lifetime's for ♪
For your infinity feels
like it's meant for me ♪
A streaming symphony
I'll always listen to ♪
'Cause I can never know you ♪
Can I ever know you ♪
I can never know you ♪
Can I ever know you ♪
Please like me, I
need you to like me ♪
You don't belong in Manhattan ♪
- You don't belong in Queens ♪
- Gee, it's nice to really ♪
- Know someone ♪
- It's a sign, it's a sign ♪
You're a tiger ♪
- Could it be you, could it be you ♪
- Let me hear you roar ♪
- Who's my smart, smart, smart, smart, smart, smart, smart ♪
- It's a sign ♪
- You have been called ♪
- It's a sign ♪
You've not
thought this through ♪
- In so many ways ♪
- The truth is that ♪
I can never know you ♪
I feel
like I've always known you ♪
I can never know you ♪
I feel like I've always known you ♪
I can never know you ♪
I feel like I've always ♪
Can I ever know you ♪
So quiet.
I was just thinking that.
I have a lot of things to tell you.
So much.
Me too Oh, but y-you go first.
Well,
maybe not, like, this exact second.
I love you.
I love you.
Have we said that yet?
I was just thinking that.
I feel like we did.
I'm-I'm pretty sure I said it.
You, you definitely sort of said it.
Happy New Year!
I guess it's a new millennium.
The world didn't end.
Not yet at least.
Ooh.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
- Are you okay?
- Yes, I've just been,
I've been having such terrible
heartburn the last few weeks.
And, like, also feeling really nauseous,
but also, starving to death?
What have I always said?
Condoms have an efficacy rate of 98%
until you account for human error.
Oh, my God.
- No, no, no! You're still a baby!
- Oh, my God.
You're gonna be the worst dad.