Wabbit - A Looney Tunes Production (2016) s01e08 Episode Script
Not Lyin' Lion/Ice Ice Bunny
1 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Going down the rabbit hole Where we're going no one knows Obstacles 'round every bend Let's see where the tunnel ends The African Savannah.
I can't believe you convinced me to come all this way just to meet your cousin.
(CHATTERING) Yeah, you told me.
He's a naked mole rat.
Uh, what's his name again? (SNORTING) Right, Snorts.
Must be a family name.
- Let's find the watering hole.
- SQUEAKS: (CHATTERS) I know, I know.
He said to meet him there at noon.
Wow.
This must be it.
Man, you think this place would be crawling with wildlife.
- I wonder what's keeping everyone away.
- (ROARING) That explains it.
Oomph! No one may be here without the permission of the King.
Me.
My name is Thes, the Savannah's greatest hunter.
- Wait, your name is Sess? - No.
Thes.
- Sess? - Thes.
(CHATTERING) Oh, your name is Thes.
T-H-E-S.
You look like a Thes.
Must be a family name.
I am royalty, and (SNIFFS) What is that heavenly smell? Well, it's this new cologne that I got No, not you, this creature.
Squeaks? He's a squirrel.
Squirrel? I've never eaten a squirrel before.
I have eaten zebra, hyena, elephant Elephant was a bit gamey.
But I've never eaten squirrel.
(SNIFFS) What are you? - Me? I am a An elephant.
- (SQUEAKS) Oh.
I've eaten elephant, but I've never eaten a squirrel.
(GULPS) You can't just eat my friend like that.
I am the king, I could do anything I want.
Fine.
If that's how you want to eat a squirrel, then go ahead.
(SQUEAKS CHATTERING) Don't worry, little fella.
I mean, you're royalty.
You're not a gobble-and-run kind of guy.
And, a king deserves to be served like this.
Race you to the top.
Welcome to Apple Trees.
Can I take your name please? Thes.
No, Terry.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
It'll be just a moment.
There is one party ahead of you.
Hmm I am King Thes.
I wait for no one.
Oh, look at that.
A table just opened up.
It's right this way, the finest table in the house.
I am getting the royal treatment.
Uh? Ah! (ROARING) Ah, King Thes.
The chef is preparing your squirrel.
We will have it sent to your room, tout de suite.
Uh? -Your bag's arrived moments ago, but I assure you, we're all set up for you.
Your penthouse suite is right this way.
Better have an ocean view.
(GROANING) Ahoy, King Thes.
-Ah-ah.
Not this time.
I am on to you.
Every time I come here, you pretend to be somebody else.
Then, you walk me to the far end of the branch until I am standing on nothing.
Like, I am now.
Ahhh! (EXCLAIMS) Buddy, are you okay? You got to take better care of yourself.
You need a massage.
I'm sure you remember these gentlemen, Knuckles, Spike, and Tiny.
They'll be your masseuses today.
Are you sure they're certified? (GROANING) That's right.
Align the spot.
The rolling pin.
Classic.
Back and forth, back and forth.
Oh, I love tetherball.
See pal, don't you feel nice and loose? Like a hot sack of creamed corn.
You know what? I am not hungry for squirrel anymore.
Now, I am hungry for elephant.
Eh.
Are you talking to me? Do you see any other elephants around here, genius? What about rabbit? Have you ever eaten rabbit? Oh.
No.
Boy, are you ever going to love rabbit.
I just need you to wait right here.
That's better.
Excuse me, ladies.
That lion over there just called you all a bunch of huge, great, trash bags.
(GROWLING) Go, get him.
Oh boy.
Sounds like there's a lot of them.
That's a heavier meal than I expected.
(GROANS) Check, please.
You know what? I didn't like rabbit.
I don't think I'll ever be hungry again.
Really? You didn't save room for one measly squirrel.
No.
No.
No.
I've had more than I can handle today.
(CHATTERING) (SCREAMING) He really is the pride of the jungle.
(LAUGHING) Well, we did it, Squeaks.
We reclaimed this watering hole for everyone in the Savannah.
Come on in everybody, the water's fine.
(ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING) Jeez, I wonder what scared 'em off.
SNORTS: Hiya.
That's Snorts.
Hey, Squeaks.
Where have you been, man? I have been waiting for you for hours.
But we've been waiting at this watering hole, the entire time.
The watering hole is two trees down.
This is the (TOILET FLUSHING) Ah.
June 21st.
First day of summer.
Tanning oil, romance novel, carrot juice, swim cap, and swim trunks, European cut, of course.
Growl.
Oops.
Almost forgot the sunblock.
(BELLS JINGGLING) All set.
Ready or not, summer, here I come.
The water's a lot colder than I thought.
Frozen lake in the summer? What gives? Hey, Bambi, how about you cool it with the cooling? I am not Bambi.
Let me guess.
Dancer? Prancer? Donner? Oh, Blitzen? Oh.
Stereotyping? Don't you have some eggs to paint? Touche.
However, your snow-spouting antlers have me confused on your identity.
I'm not a reindeer, I'm a snow deer.
I am the Winter Stag.
I bring the snow.
I thought Old Man Winter did that.
What? -Or Jack Frost or Mother Nature? Oh, so, a human has to do everything.
I have been doing this job forever.
But aren't you a tad early? Summer just started.
I thought I'd get an early start.
Everyone loves winter.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Hey, Stag Abbey.
Ah, nobody touches the tail.
Florida, here we come.
Jerry, it's over here.
It's south.
Ah.
Don't start with the back seat flying again.
Summer.
Yay! Hold it.
Back to bed, cubbies.
It's still winter.
Oh.
I need to put the heat on Frosty Tips to save summer.
(MIMICS RINGING CELL PHONE) Hello.
The Sun? Hold on a sec.
Excuse me.
I think this call's for you.
- It's the Moon.
- The Moon? Come close.
I'll put you on speaker.
Well, perfect.
Stay right there.
Moon.
Moon.
I thought you were ignoring my e-mails.
I know I said a lot, but if (STAMMERING) - Huh? - Hot enough for you? It's going to be like this all summer.
(SIPPING) So, will you go to the prom with me? No.
No, no, no, no.
No! Call me! Na, na.
(GROANS) Well, if you can't beat em, join em.
Huh.
What are you doing? Winter is coming.
Winter is here.
Winter is a time of decorations, and lights.
- (CHUCKLES) And music.
- (MUSIC PLAYING) And killing trees.
Timber! And, family.
(COWS MOOING) - You two always have a beef with me.
And, sales.
And more music.
And, strange animals with growing extremities.
And more music.
And moon boots.
And, snow blowers, traffic.
And overpriced airfare.
And charities.
And love.
And more presents.
And presents.
And love.
All right.
All right.
(WIND HOWLING) Give me that phone.
(DIALING NUMBER) (CELL PHONE RINGING) Hello.
Moon? Oh, hey Stag.
She said what? Oh, I'll be right there.
What did the Moon say? What did she say? - I smell something burning.
- (GASPS) I left the iron on.
You know, you were right.
Winter has its time and place.
So, what now? - Refill? - Sorry, it's a little warm.
Cheers.
- Moon.
- Shh
I can't believe you convinced me to come all this way just to meet your cousin.
(CHATTERING) Yeah, you told me.
He's a naked mole rat.
Uh, what's his name again? (SNORTING) Right, Snorts.
Must be a family name.
- Let's find the watering hole.
- SQUEAKS: (CHATTERS) I know, I know.
He said to meet him there at noon.
Wow.
This must be it.
Man, you think this place would be crawling with wildlife.
- I wonder what's keeping everyone away.
- (ROARING) That explains it.
Oomph! No one may be here without the permission of the King.
Me.
My name is Thes, the Savannah's greatest hunter.
- Wait, your name is Sess? - No.
Thes.
- Sess? - Thes.
(CHATTERING) Oh, your name is Thes.
T-H-E-S.
You look like a Thes.
Must be a family name.
I am royalty, and (SNIFFS) What is that heavenly smell? Well, it's this new cologne that I got No, not you, this creature.
Squeaks? He's a squirrel.
Squirrel? I've never eaten a squirrel before.
I have eaten zebra, hyena, elephant Elephant was a bit gamey.
But I've never eaten squirrel.
(SNIFFS) What are you? - Me? I am a An elephant.
- (SQUEAKS) Oh.
I've eaten elephant, but I've never eaten a squirrel.
(GULPS) You can't just eat my friend like that.
I am the king, I could do anything I want.
Fine.
If that's how you want to eat a squirrel, then go ahead.
(SQUEAKS CHATTERING) Don't worry, little fella.
I mean, you're royalty.
You're not a gobble-and-run kind of guy.
And, a king deserves to be served like this.
Race you to the top.
Welcome to Apple Trees.
Can I take your name please? Thes.
No, Terry.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
It'll be just a moment.
There is one party ahead of you.
Hmm I am King Thes.
I wait for no one.
Oh, look at that.
A table just opened up.
It's right this way, the finest table in the house.
I am getting the royal treatment.
Uh? Ah! (ROARING) Ah, King Thes.
The chef is preparing your squirrel.
We will have it sent to your room, tout de suite.
Uh? -Your bag's arrived moments ago, but I assure you, we're all set up for you.
Your penthouse suite is right this way.
Better have an ocean view.
(GROANING) Ahoy, King Thes.
-Ah-ah.
Not this time.
I am on to you.
Every time I come here, you pretend to be somebody else.
Then, you walk me to the far end of the branch until I am standing on nothing.
Like, I am now.
Ahhh! (EXCLAIMS) Buddy, are you okay? You got to take better care of yourself.
You need a massage.
I'm sure you remember these gentlemen, Knuckles, Spike, and Tiny.
They'll be your masseuses today.
Are you sure they're certified? (GROANING) That's right.
Align the spot.
The rolling pin.
Classic.
Back and forth, back and forth.
Oh, I love tetherball.
See pal, don't you feel nice and loose? Like a hot sack of creamed corn.
You know what? I am not hungry for squirrel anymore.
Now, I am hungry for elephant.
Eh.
Are you talking to me? Do you see any other elephants around here, genius? What about rabbit? Have you ever eaten rabbit? Oh.
No.
Boy, are you ever going to love rabbit.
I just need you to wait right here.
That's better.
Excuse me, ladies.
That lion over there just called you all a bunch of huge, great, trash bags.
(GROWLING) Go, get him.
Oh boy.
Sounds like there's a lot of them.
That's a heavier meal than I expected.
(GROANS) Check, please.
You know what? I didn't like rabbit.
I don't think I'll ever be hungry again.
Really? You didn't save room for one measly squirrel.
No.
No.
No.
I've had more than I can handle today.
(CHATTERING) (SCREAMING) He really is the pride of the jungle.
(LAUGHING) Well, we did it, Squeaks.
We reclaimed this watering hole for everyone in the Savannah.
Come on in everybody, the water's fine.
(ELEPHANTS TRUMPETING) Jeez, I wonder what scared 'em off.
SNORTS: Hiya.
That's Snorts.
Hey, Squeaks.
Where have you been, man? I have been waiting for you for hours.
But we've been waiting at this watering hole, the entire time.
The watering hole is two trees down.
This is the (TOILET FLUSHING) Ah.
June 21st.
First day of summer.
Tanning oil, romance novel, carrot juice, swim cap, and swim trunks, European cut, of course.
Growl.
Oops.
Almost forgot the sunblock.
(BELLS JINGGLING) All set.
Ready or not, summer, here I come.
The water's a lot colder than I thought.
Frozen lake in the summer? What gives? Hey, Bambi, how about you cool it with the cooling? I am not Bambi.
Let me guess.
Dancer? Prancer? Donner? Oh, Blitzen? Oh.
Stereotyping? Don't you have some eggs to paint? Touche.
However, your snow-spouting antlers have me confused on your identity.
I'm not a reindeer, I'm a snow deer.
I am the Winter Stag.
I bring the snow.
I thought Old Man Winter did that.
What? -Or Jack Frost or Mother Nature? Oh, so, a human has to do everything.
I have been doing this job forever.
But aren't you a tad early? Summer just started.
I thought I'd get an early start.
Everyone loves winter.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Hey, Stag Abbey.
Ah, nobody touches the tail.
Florida, here we come.
Jerry, it's over here.
It's south.
Ah.
Don't start with the back seat flying again.
Summer.
Yay! Hold it.
Back to bed, cubbies.
It's still winter.
Oh.
I need to put the heat on Frosty Tips to save summer.
(MIMICS RINGING CELL PHONE) Hello.
The Sun? Hold on a sec.
Excuse me.
I think this call's for you.
- It's the Moon.
- The Moon? Come close.
I'll put you on speaker.
Well, perfect.
Stay right there.
Moon.
Moon.
I thought you were ignoring my e-mails.
I know I said a lot, but if (STAMMERING) - Huh? - Hot enough for you? It's going to be like this all summer.
(SIPPING) So, will you go to the prom with me? No.
No, no, no, no.
No! Call me! Na, na.
(GROANS) Well, if you can't beat em, join em.
Huh.
What are you doing? Winter is coming.
Winter is here.
Winter is a time of decorations, and lights.
- (CHUCKLES) And music.
- (MUSIC PLAYING) And killing trees.
Timber! And, family.
(COWS MOOING) - You two always have a beef with me.
And, sales.
And more music.
And, strange animals with growing extremities.
And more music.
And moon boots.
And, snow blowers, traffic.
And overpriced airfare.
And charities.
And love.
And more presents.
And presents.
And love.
All right.
All right.
(WIND HOWLING) Give me that phone.
(DIALING NUMBER) (CELL PHONE RINGING) Hello.
Moon? Oh, hey Stag.
She said what? Oh, I'll be right there.
What did the Moon say? What did she say? - I smell something burning.
- (GASPS) I left the iron on.
You know, you were right.
Winter has its time and place.
So, what now? - Refill? - Sorry, it's a little warm.
Cheers.
- Moon.
- Shh