Wander Over Yonder (2013) s01e08 Episode Script
The Bounty; The Ball
1 1x08a - "The Bounty" Why?! Is it because I'm not ruthless enough? I'm ruthless.
Or evil? Is that it? You don't think I'm evil? What do you call this? Commander Peepers.
Am I not strong enough for you? I can be strong! - You! - Yes, sir? Pick this thing up and throw it at yourself.
- But sir, my back - Do it! See? I can be all these things.
So why, why, why Why?! Hate you! Sir.
Because you can't seem to do the one thing I continually ask of you capture Wander & Sylvia! So I hired the three best bounty hunters in the galaxy.
Brawngraffle the Huntress! And Killbot-86.
Wait.
I thought you said 'three'? Oh, yeah.
The Potted Plant!!! Seriously? You hired a plant to do my job? Well, he can't possibly be worse at it than you, can he? All right, bounty hunters.
Wander and Sylvia were last seen on the vacation planet Phunulon.
One kajillion hate-a-zoids to whoever brings them to me alive.
Only I get to hear their screams of agony.
I need them for my torture megamix.
Ah! No! Stop.
Stop.
Please! I mean this track is good and all but I think with Wander and Sylvia in the mix it'll really be bangin'.
Now go, go, go! Oh, I can't believe this.
Those bounty hunters are gonna capture Wander and Sylvia.
And then Lord Hater's rule will spread across the galaxy and evil will conquer the universe.
But sir, isn't that what we want to happen? No! I'm supposed to capture Wander and Sylvia.
And then Lord Hater's rule will spread across the galaxy and then evil will conquer the universe.
- All because of me! - Uh, where are you going, sir? To do my job.
Commander Peepers Little help? Please keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times.
Remain seated, please.
Well, well, well, if it isn't Wander and Sylvia.
Looks like I got the jump on those pathetic bounty hun Ow! Oh, no, you don't! A winner! Sorry, piggie.
Think you can mess up my hunt and save all the glory for yourself, huh? Well, I got news for you, squinty.
I'm gonna bag those two, claim the reward, and you'll be lucky if Lord Hater keeps you around to clean the zero gravity toilets.
Ha! Zbornak tracks.
The hunt is on.
Huh? Sorry, brawny.
It's feedin' time.
Commander Peepers Looks like the huntress has become the huntred! Er ted.
Hun-ted.
Attention, Lord Hater.
Prepare to receive transmission.
Claws off, toaster face! They're mine! - Wooo! - Wow! It's a stunt spectacular! Not on my watch, you bucket of bolts! I feel like I'm on a real, live spaceship! This is like the best ride ever! You guys really pulled out all the stops.
- Unbelievable! - Unbelievable! You're fired.
Who wants to be a part of my torture megamix? Mega-mix! Mega-mix! Take them to my torture room.
Tor-ture room.
Tor-ture room.
Yes! In your face, Lord Hater! That's what happens when you send a pig and a machine to do an eyeball's job.
And now you two are mine for the excessively forceful taking.
Evil will conquer the galaxy.
All because of me! Oh, zrebdank.
No! I was so close! Wow! This is the grossest ride ever.
- Aw, man.
Bleh! - Why hello, Commander Peepers.
I didn't know you worked on planet Phunulon.
See? I knew your weren't such a bad guy after all.
Wander, it's a trap.
We're going to be turned over to Lord Hater.
Really? Wow.
Well then I must say congratulations, you finally caught us, Commander Peepers.
Most of your attempts to try and catch us are, please excuse my language, kinda stinky, but this plant thing is just amazing.
It totally took us by surprise, we had no idea you were after us.
And even though we're sad to be caught I am just so happy thinking about how proud Lord Hater will be of you.
Well, even though I am a miserable failure and that bounty hunter got all the glory, Lord Hater finally conquered the entire universe, and that that's good enough for me.
Commander Peepers Forget that! Ah! They're mine! Mine! All mine! I win! I win! And the bounty hunters lose! Thanks for saving us from the bounty hunter, Commander Peepers.
Bye-dee-bye! Watch closely now.
See what happens here.
This is them, escaping and this is you, letting them escape.
- I know, sir, but - Ah-ah! Pay attention.
This is them.
And this is you.
Them.
You.
Getting away.
Letting them get away.
You see where I'm going with this? I get it, sir.
Even so, I guess you learned your lesson about using bounty hunters, right? That I did, Peepers, that I did.
I didn't hire enough of them! Agh! No! Please, sir.
No.
No.
No! Ooh that's good, that's the perfect high end - my torture mix was missing.
- Agh, no! - Aw, yeah.
- Agh, no! Stop.
Stop.
Please.
- Agh, no! - Ouch.
Ouch.
1x08b - "The Ball" I hope everything at our relaxatorium is to your liking? I'm so pleased you've enjoyed your stay on Balzaria 9.
We're quite fond of our peaceful home.
Well, time to flee and abandon it forever.
- Huh? - Huh? Beeza, what the heck is going on? Oh, a thousand pardons, it's just that our entire planet is about to be destroyed.
Again.
What?! On eight different planets, we've built our perfect civilization.
And eight different times, we've heard the armageddon chimes, letting us know that he's come to destroy all we've worked so hard to build.
It's pretty routine by this point.
Wait, what? Who's he? We use to call him the Worldbuster, but now most of us just call him Buster.
Ah! The winds already? This doomsday is moving along quite briskly.
- Huh? - Huh? You folks are abandoning your beautiful home for a new one? - Just like that? - What? Of course not.
- Phew.
- There aren't any planets left in our system.
We have absolutely no idea where we're going.
We'll just fly through space until we run out of fuel.
Or food, whichever comes first.
How does one fight off cannibals? Some kind of pointy stick, I assume.
Everyone just hold up! Y'all have put so much work into this pretty little planet.
Don't you want to try and save it? I know you're scared of Buster.
But if you keep running, that's all you're ever gonna be doing.
You have a chance to change that.
You just have to turn and face your problems head on.
What do you say? Eh, sure.
Whatever.
That's good enough for me.
Now gather round.
I have a plan.
We got his attention.
Time for phase two.
We did it! Here's to facing your problems head on.
- Huh.
Hey, not bad.
- What do you know? I did not think I was gonna win.
Uh folks What happened?! I thought it worked! Flarf nabbit, it did work.
We threw a dog a bone and he fetched it.
Oh, darn.
The sticky rains of terror? We've lingered far too long.
Come on.
Time to flee.
Wander, buddy, we tried, but these folks seem okay with just getting out of here.
Maybe we should be too? Naw-uh.
No way.
I have one more plan.
Everybody! One more plan! One more plan! One more plan! One more plan! All right, soldiers.
On my mark present weapons! Wet whistle.
Deep breaths.
And blow!!! It's working! Don't stop now! Hey, bad dog! Ah-ah-ah! Wait.
New plan.
Everybody! Wait.
New plan.
New plan.
New much better plan.
Everyone.
All new and improved plan.
Trash.
Everybody.
Hit that tongue with the grossest, nastiest, worst-tasting garbage you can find.
Wha why didn't it work? Wander, don't you get it? Dogs love trash.
- But, but - Sorry buddy, it's time to go.
But, but Oh! Hey, you guys made it.
That's great.
Go, go, go, go, go! So we didn't get a win this time.
But Wander, sometimes a problem is so big, you just have to flee.
No! There's only one way to stop this once and for all! Come on, what are you What's going on? Where's Wander? That little kamikaze's heading straight for that monster! Wander.
I know you're upset that Buster ate the planet.
- Heck, so are the rest of these folks.
- Eh, we'll get over it.
But destroying him and us is not the answer.
- We have to flee! - That's what I'm doing! I'm facing this problem head on!!! Head on.
Yeah.
Have you lost your nut? Do you realize what you just did? Without that ship, these folks have nowhere to live.
They needed some place safe from Buster with trees and fresh air and places for really great spas.
And and huh.
Oh, Wander.
Thanks to you, we finally have a permanent home.
Yeah.
See, y'all always wanted to flee.
But it turns out, all you really needed to do was flea.
F-l-e-a.
Flea.
You know, bzzt like the bug? 'Cause they're living on the dog.
Look, if you have to explain the joke mew-mew-mew-mew, mew-mew-meow
Or evil? Is that it? You don't think I'm evil? What do you call this? Commander Peepers.
Am I not strong enough for you? I can be strong! - You! - Yes, sir? Pick this thing up and throw it at yourself.
- But sir, my back - Do it! See? I can be all these things.
So why, why, why Why?! Hate you! Sir.
Because you can't seem to do the one thing I continually ask of you capture Wander & Sylvia! So I hired the three best bounty hunters in the galaxy.
Brawngraffle the Huntress! And Killbot-86.
Wait.
I thought you said 'three'? Oh, yeah.
The Potted Plant!!! Seriously? You hired a plant to do my job? Well, he can't possibly be worse at it than you, can he? All right, bounty hunters.
Wander and Sylvia were last seen on the vacation planet Phunulon.
One kajillion hate-a-zoids to whoever brings them to me alive.
Only I get to hear their screams of agony.
I need them for my torture megamix.
Ah! No! Stop.
Stop.
Please! I mean this track is good and all but I think with Wander and Sylvia in the mix it'll really be bangin'.
Now go, go, go! Oh, I can't believe this.
Those bounty hunters are gonna capture Wander and Sylvia.
And then Lord Hater's rule will spread across the galaxy and evil will conquer the universe.
But sir, isn't that what we want to happen? No! I'm supposed to capture Wander and Sylvia.
And then Lord Hater's rule will spread across the galaxy and then evil will conquer the universe.
- All because of me! - Uh, where are you going, sir? To do my job.
Commander Peepers Little help? Please keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times.
Remain seated, please.
Well, well, well, if it isn't Wander and Sylvia.
Looks like I got the jump on those pathetic bounty hun Ow! Oh, no, you don't! A winner! Sorry, piggie.
Think you can mess up my hunt and save all the glory for yourself, huh? Well, I got news for you, squinty.
I'm gonna bag those two, claim the reward, and you'll be lucky if Lord Hater keeps you around to clean the zero gravity toilets.
Ha! Zbornak tracks.
The hunt is on.
Huh? Sorry, brawny.
It's feedin' time.
Commander Peepers Looks like the huntress has become the huntred! Er ted.
Hun-ted.
Attention, Lord Hater.
Prepare to receive transmission.
Claws off, toaster face! They're mine! - Wooo! - Wow! It's a stunt spectacular! Not on my watch, you bucket of bolts! I feel like I'm on a real, live spaceship! This is like the best ride ever! You guys really pulled out all the stops.
- Unbelievable! - Unbelievable! You're fired.
Who wants to be a part of my torture megamix? Mega-mix! Mega-mix! Take them to my torture room.
Tor-ture room.
Tor-ture room.
Yes! In your face, Lord Hater! That's what happens when you send a pig and a machine to do an eyeball's job.
And now you two are mine for the excessively forceful taking.
Evil will conquer the galaxy.
All because of me! Oh, zrebdank.
No! I was so close! Wow! This is the grossest ride ever.
- Aw, man.
Bleh! - Why hello, Commander Peepers.
I didn't know you worked on planet Phunulon.
See? I knew your weren't such a bad guy after all.
Wander, it's a trap.
We're going to be turned over to Lord Hater.
Really? Wow.
Well then I must say congratulations, you finally caught us, Commander Peepers.
Most of your attempts to try and catch us are, please excuse my language, kinda stinky, but this plant thing is just amazing.
It totally took us by surprise, we had no idea you were after us.
And even though we're sad to be caught I am just so happy thinking about how proud Lord Hater will be of you.
Well, even though I am a miserable failure and that bounty hunter got all the glory, Lord Hater finally conquered the entire universe, and that that's good enough for me.
Commander Peepers Forget that! Ah! They're mine! Mine! All mine! I win! I win! And the bounty hunters lose! Thanks for saving us from the bounty hunter, Commander Peepers.
Bye-dee-bye! Watch closely now.
See what happens here.
This is them, escaping and this is you, letting them escape.
- I know, sir, but - Ah-ah! Pay attention.
This is them.
And this is you.
Them.
You.
Getting away.
Letting them get away.
You see where I'm going with this? I get it, sir.
Even so, I guess you learned your lesson about using bounty hunters, right? That I did, Peepers, that I did.
I didn't hire enough of them! Agh! No! Please, sir.
No.
No.
No! Ooh that's good, that's the perfect high end - my torture mix was missing.
- Agh, no! - Aw, yeah.
- Agh, no! Stop.
Stop.
Please.
- Agh, no! - Ouch.
Ouch.
1x08b - "The Ball" I hope everything at our relaxatorium is to your liking? I'm so pleased you've enjoyed your stay on Balzaria 9.
We're quite fond of our peaceful home.
Well, time to flee and abandon it forever.
- Huh? - Huh? Beeza, what the heck is going on? Oh, a thousand pardons, it's just that our entire planet is about to be destroyed.
Again.
What?! On eight different planets, we've built our perfect civilization.
And eight different times, we've heard the armageddon chimes, letting us know that he's come to destroy all we've worked so hard to build.
It's pretty routine by this point.
Wait, what? Who's he? We use to call him the Worldbuster, but now most of us just call him Buster.
Ah! The winds already? This doomsday is moving along quite briskly.
- Huh? - Huh? You folks are abandoning your beautiful home for a new one? - Just like that? - What? Of course not.
- Phew.
- There aren't any planets left in our system.
We have absolutely no idea where we're going.
We'll just fly through space until we run out of fuel.
Or food, whichever comes first.
How does one fight off cannibals? Some kind of pointy stick, I assume.
Everyone just hold up! Y'all have put so much work into this pretty little planet.
Don't you want to try and save it? I know you're scared of Buster.
But if you keep running, that's all you're ever gonna be doing.
You have a chance to change that.
You just have to turn and face your problems head on.
What do you say? Eh, sure.
Whatever.
That's good enough for me.
Now gather round.
I have a plan.
We got his attention.
Time for phase two.
We did it! Here's to facing your problems head on.
- Huh.
Hey, not bad.
- What do you know? I did not think I was gonna win.
Uh folks What happened?! I thought it worked! Flarf nabbit, it did work.
We threw a dog a bone and he fetched it.
Oh, darn.
The sticky rains of terror? We've lingered far too long.
Come on.
Time to flee.
Wander, buddy, we tried, but these folks seem okay with just getting out of here.
Maybe we should be too? Naw-uh.
No way.
I have one more plan.
Everybody! One more plan! One more plan! One more plan! One more plan! All right, soldiers.
On my mark present weapons! Wet whistle.
Deep breaths.
And blow!!! It's working! Don't stop now! Hey, bad dog! Ah-ah-ah! Wait.
New plan.
Everybody! Wait.
New plan.
New plan.
New much better plan.
Everyone.
All new and improved plan.
Trash.
Everybody.
Hit that tongue with the grossest, nastiest, worst-tasting garbage you can find.
Wha why didn't it work? Wander, don't you get it? Dogs love trash.
- But, but - Sorry buddy, it's time to go.
But, but Oh! Hey, you guys made it.
That's great.
Go, go, go, go, go! So we didn't get a win this time.
But Wander, sometimes a problem is so big, you just have to flee.
No! There's only one way to stop this once and for all! Come on, what are you What's going on? Where's Wander? That little kamikaze's heading straight for that monster! Wander.
I know you're upset that Buster ate the planet.
- Heck, so are the rest of these folks.
- Eh, we'll get over it.
But destroying him and us is not the answer.
- We have to flee! - That's what I'm doing! I'm facing this problem head on!!! Head on.
Yeah.
Have you lost your nut? Do you realize what you just did? Without that ship, these folks have nowhere to live.
They needed some place safe from Buster with trees and fresh air and places for really great spas.
And and huh.
Oh, Wander.
Thanks to you, we finally have a permanent home.
Yeah.
See, y'all always wanted to flee.
But it turns out, all you really needed to do was flea.
F-l-e-a.
Flea.
You know, bzzt like the bug? 'Cause they're living on the dog.
Look, if you have to explain the joke mew-mew-mew-mew, mew-mew-meow