Welcome to Sweden (2014) s01e08 Episode Script

Hey, Akerman! Long time no talk! Hey, Bruce! Ah, it's so great that you're coming back.
It's a bit of a mess with the IRS here.
No one's happier than me, dude.
I can't wait to eat some real food.
Yeah, I just finished some fries with gravy and a chocolate milkshake.
I'm so jealous.
Man, I am so fed up with this place, you wouldn't believe it.
I mean, it's not just the food.
- I mean, most people here are just - Yeah, but I don't know, they're so Swedish, you know, it's like I mean, Emma is great, but the rest of them are, like Pffft! You know You know, that's a bit of an insult.
I'm telling you, this country just, like, sucks the life out of people, you know? They're just walking around, like, barely human, with their Swedish faces and their Swedish names, like, Boergenschmoergen, you know.
Like, talking to each other in their gobbledygook.
And you got their, like, Swedish clothes.
I mean, look at me for God's sake! Bruce! I'm Swedish! What? I thought you were Canadian? Nope, nope.
I was born in Sweden, grew up in Canada.
But I'm Swedish.
Oh I mean there's some really great things about Sweden too, you have the Yeah, yeah sure.
You know what? It's too late, douchebag.
- Babe, what are you doing? - I'm packing.
Okay, but Marcus is coming any minute now to drop his bags off.
I don't want this place to look like a mess.
I don't think it's going to matter, he's a homeless guy who's finally getting to live in an apartment.
He's not a homeless guy, he's a backpacker.
And he's an old friend of mine.
- He's a guy, right? - Yes.
And he has no home? Okay, funny? - Yeah, so by definition: homeless guy! - Yes.
Hey, can I grab some water? Yeah.
Yeah, help yourself.
Okay, you have to return this now.
Why didn't you tell me he was such a hunk? Babe, I don't like hunks.
I love you! Mm-hm.
That's funny.
What do you want me to do with this? Uh, I want you to return it to Bengt.
Why? Because that's what you do if you rent movies.
That's why people watch movies online nowadays, you know? You can't find movies like this online, that's the problem.
Maybe it's a reason for that.
Well I'll have you know, by the way, that "Tootsie" was nominated Can't believe you guys are letting me stay here.
Thank you so much! - Huh! - Okay.
Okay, see you later.
Hey Bruce, you want some company? Uhh, I think I can return a movie by myself.
- Thanks.
- Okay, cool.
I'll just stay here with Emma then.
- Can I use your shower before I leave? - Um No! Uh, you know what? I could use some company Come with me.
So, what are your plans for tonight? Are you going to be, like, wandering the streets? Yeah, no plans.
Why? You want to do something? No, uh it's Emma and my last few nights in Sweden - before we move to the U.
S.
, so - Yeah.
You know, we want to have some alone time.
Understood.
Hey, is this what I think it is? Yeah, I like the movie, I mean, everyone Oh! I love "Tootsie".
- I mean I love "Tootsie", it's ah! - You do? - I mean Jessica Lange? - I know! She's like, the most deserving Oscar winner ever, I think.
You know, when they when they walk away in the last scene? I know, I almost cried.
Ah! Almost? I cried my eyes out.
Okay, I cried too, I Wow, I've never met anyone that loves "Tootsie" as much as I do.
Wow, me neither, me neither.
You know, we should, uh you should come over for dinner, I think, tonight.
Emma is making meatballs, so Yeah but, uh, your alone time? - You, uh - Ah! That's overrated.
Forget about that.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Hi, Bengt! You okay? I'm not crying.
Okay, I just came to return this.
Oh, that's late.
So, that will be 120 crowns, please.
Are you serious? I thought we were friends.
We're friends? Yeah, of course we are.
In that case I'll have to be honest with you, Bruce.
I was crying before.
- Mm - Yes.
You know, people in the movies, they always know what to say and what to do.
But I you might find this hard to believe but I'm not that strong with the ladies.
What? That's the truth.
And now, there is this one special lady, Louise, and I-I never really talk to her but, uh Okay, maybe that would be a good start, then.
- Uh, what? - Talk to her.
I can't believe you are such a ladies' man, Bruce.
I don't know how you do it! Thank you, friend! Hey, that's what friends are for.
No, no, no.
I still need my 120 crowns.
And then Bruce, you're going to like this: I spent two weeks doing this massage course in Honduras.
Which was amazing.
It sounds amazing! It's like, did you know this about him? Mm.
You know what, you should do her.
- She loves massages.
- Really? Uh, no I don't.
- She gets so tense! Yeah.
- Really? Oj! Okay, here we go.
She's tense.
I know.
I think that's enough, okay? Thank you.
Umm time for bed, or? Okay, good night.
Oh, yeah, I think I should also No, no, you should sit down.
We're just getting started.
Yeah.
Good night, honey.
- So, come on, Honduras and then? - All right, yes Oh man, I love Marcus! I don't know if you can tell, I have the biggest man-crush on that guy.
I can tell.
I told him he could stay on our couch until we leave.
Oh, so you want my ex-boyfriend to stay on our couch now? Ex-what? Boyfriend.
No, you said he was an old friend.
Old friend, old boyfriend.
Same difference, right? No! Different difference! Oh my God, I think I'm going to be sick, is that is he Why did you let him massage you? Well, you forced me to, honey! No, I didn't.
This, ah - Are you okay? - No! Babe, you know what? He was my first boyfriend.
- It was just for a couple of weeks.
- Okay.
Nothing serious.
- Okay.
- Okay? - Yeah.
- And also, I had so many since.
Seriously? That's supposed to make me feel better? Uh, there's no one else here.
I'm still the only one here, so How can I help you, sir? Here's the 120 crowns I owe you.
Thanks! You know, the video store industry is really tough at the moment.
Really? You don't say.
Well, it will get better.
You know, this Internet thing is just a phase.
People need personal service, so they will be back.
I don't know about that.
Wait and see.
Oh! She-she's the one I was talking about.
Just talk to her! What? I can't-I can't just no.
Just be yourself.
Be yourself, man Just Hej.
Mmm.
Mm.
Mmm.
Uh, Bengt was just telling me that you're his favourite costumer.
- Really? - Yeah.
No, I didn't! Okay.
I thought I told you to be yourself! That was myself! - She was so flirting with you! - Wha? We have to see what movies she rents.
No, that's confidential information! We have to find out if she's single.
Oh, lock the door.
- You don't have to lock the door.
- Oh, no You're overreacting to this.
Just a bunch of relationship movies at the beginning and then 2012, "Kramer VS Kramer".
That's a break-up film, so And look at this! Last week.
"Sex in the City" box set.
She's single, Bengt! - Really? - Yes! So wh-what do I do? Invite her over for dinner.
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah Cool it down, mister, that's a pretty aggressive move.
No, you just invite everybody you know, and then you invite her and then it doesn't look too obvious.
- You think so? - Yeah.
Well whew.
Have you met, uh, Marcus? Yes! Oh, what a guy! So good looking and still super nice.
- I know.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- He's so perfect.
- Yeah, he is, - yes, yes - Is there anything wrong with that guy? No, no, no, no Honey, I'm home.
This isn't what it looks like.
Really? Actually, it's exactly what it looks like.
I'm looking through his stuff, trying to find something that makes him less perfect.
But all I'm finding is medals and - kids' drawings.
- Okay, babe, you have to stop this.
You're obsessed, okay? Listen to me.
Your first boyfriend is never the one.
You have to try a few to know who the real one is.
Because when you're young you're stupid, and your brain is not developed yet.
Yeah, but I just don't get it.
Why would you break up with a guy like this, he's amazing! Because he's not boyfriend material.
At all.
He's a drifter.
I don't want to start a family with someone like that I want to start a family with someone stable and fun and someone that likes cheesy movies like "Tootsie".
I want to do that with you.
Because I love you.
Okay? Okay.
Can we please stop talking about Marcus now? Yes.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
I mean, just so you know, Marcus also loves "Tootsie".
This is really an awkward situation.
Marcus, you were like a brother to me - and then you disappeared.
- I know.
And then you showed up again.
And Bruce, it was love at first sight.
And I mean, we have so much fun together.
It's so hard for me to choose.
You don't have to, Gustaf.
Welcome! Hello.
Hello, Marcus! Oh Bru-u-uce Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
It's nice, right, isn't it? Yeah, I-I thought I told you to invite everyone you knew.
Yeah, I did.
Oh.
Oh my God, she's here.
What should I do? Be cool.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Be cool.
My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
How's it going for him? It's going surprisingly well, actually.
Yeah.
So, uh, where are you travelling next? Nowhere.
You know, time to settle down.
Find a girl, start a family.
Yeah.
But like, not here in Sweden, right? I mean, you're a man of the world, like a drifter.
Well, yeah, I was but You know, I've been everywhere basically and I finally figured out that Sweden is the best place to make all those things happen.
"Star Wars"! Hasta la vista, baby! Shaken, not stirred.
Ja.
Oh! - Hej.
- Hej.
Whoo! What's up with you Swedes and all the hugging? What? All the hugging that's going on there, it's You don't have to worry.
I'm not worried.
I'm just wondering about why you guys need to hug all the time.
- Really? - Yeah.
You're not jealous at all? No, your first love is never the one.
I mean, you need to try a few before you figure out who the right one is.
Right? And when you're young, you're stupid.
You know, your brain's not developed.
Yeah.
Yeah! Bruce you are so right! Yeah.
What? No, no, no, no I was I was talking about Emma and me.
No, no, Bruce? Why-why is she saying Bruce? What did you say to her? Can we family hug? Can we Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Ooh! Adrienne! Mm Bruce-Bruce, get out of the way, okay? Okay, calm down everyone, all right? How is he? Well, it looks like he's going to be okay.
Oh, thank God! - I know.
- Yeah.
And it would have sucked to have had to change our flight, that's the You still think we're leaving? My dad just almost died.
Yeah but-but he didn't, so No, but he's still very weak! Yes.
Yes, of course he is.
Although you have to admit, it's like, a little convenient.
You know, I mean You're leaving the country, your mother breaks up with him and then, boom! You know he's heart attack.
Are you saying my dad is faking it? I-I'm just saying you have to admit under the circ What's wrong with you? Hi Birger! Umm What is it? (Beep) you! What? I wish you and Emma never met.
Sometimes, the first love is the one.
Okay, I didn't You're still planning on leaving? Yeah.
I-I can't come with you, you know that.
I mean, dad is sick and everything, it's like I know.
I-I'm going to go alone.
I-It's so much money and they need me back there, so Well what about us? You know, honestly I think maybe it's better that I just step away for a little while.
I just keep screwing things up here.
Don't say that.
So, um three months? Just three months.
And then you're coming back? Good, because I love you very much, you know that, right? I love you too.
Bye.