Wonderland (2013) s01e08 Episode Script
Macho
Do me a favour, OK? Look, just have a talk to Tom.
Convince him to sell me his design.
Wabi-sabi - it's a Japanese ethic that nothing is ever finished, nothing is perfect.
It's a no-go on the promo, Stevo.
- What? - The boss asked me to step up.
Miranda, there's something - Miranda! - Oh, come in.
Uh, we're going out.
Why is it always work? Work weekends, nights, all the time? Because that's the job.
It's crazy.
I'm on call.
I can't help it.
Nearly finished.
What's so important? Just hang on.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Are you OK? What the fuck?! Why didn't you look? - Hey, cool it! - Are you OK? My bike! It's trashed! Yeah, I'll I'll give you my details.
- Oh, my God.
You're bleeding.
- Of course I'm bleeding.
You opened your car door on me! Hey, that's enough! Don't talk to her like that.
- It was an accident! - It it's OK.
It's OK.
I'm sorry.
I just I didn't see you.
Yeah, it's because you didn't look, you stupid - Hey! - Hey, don't touch that! - Hey, no! Oh! - Hey! Stop arguing the law with me, Carlos! It's malicious damage to property if nothing else.
Just because he said he'll sue doesn't mean he will.
What did you expect me to do? Oh, I don't know.
Pick up his bike and throw it off a cliff.
I really thought to myself, "Gee, I hope Carlos does that.
" I hope it wasn't a Cervelo.
This guy was being aggressive, acting like a jerk.
So, that gave you permission to be aggressive - and act like a jerk too? - He was trying to intimidate her.
- I was in the wrong, so - He wasn't in a bike lane.
How is that her fault? Whichever way you look at it, I'm legally culpable.
When it's car versus bike, the car's always wrong.
- Everyone knows that.
- That's ridiculous! Yeah, hi.
No, because he is a high-profile sports identity, and if we are wrong it's gonna cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars more.
You think the bike's still down there? Tell her I've gone home to study.
Smug bastard.
I have an extremely well-developed killer instinct.
- Of course you do.
- Arggh! I should unleash it on him.
You show him by signing up those clients on Monday.
Ever since he got my promotion the guy's been rubbing it in.
The man wears a fake Breitling watch.
He's a loser.
Yeah, he's a loser who's gonna make a huge bonus if I don't sign these guys first.
Well, you will.
That's Grace.
Carlos isn't coming.
So your day went well? Started on Monday and by Tuesday it was like I'd been there forever.
I love working for charity.
It feels so good.
Except you're working for charity in more ways than one.
The pay's not great, but it'll go up once my trial period's over.
Besides, I have been really good.
I haven't bought any new clothes in, like - Hours.
- Weeks.
I know.
You've been amazing.
Can you pass me the water jug? No, I'll finish that.
You get ready.
I am ready.
Oh, baby.
I wasn't looking! Baby, I can see you're ready.
No, no.
FYI - this is what 'ready' on a budget looks like.
Oof! Hmm.
I can see you! Harry, hey.
I hope your photographer appreciates the classics - Village People, Talking Heads, David Bowie when he was still androgynous.
- Oh, Harry, thank you so much.
- Where do you want them? Um, just on the table there.
I'm gonna take them down to the workshop, so - Oh, you want a hand? - No, no.
I can do it.
If you need me to demonstrate any of the 1970s dance moves I'd be happy to oblige.
- Thank you.
- Anytime.
You and me and a disco ball.
Yeah, that would be so fun.
Yep.
Nutbush.
Limit.
The bump.
Funky chicken.
Ooh, I'm really uncoordinated so, you know, it's just Oh, well.
Yeah, but thanks so much for all of that.
Thank you.
See ya.
Harry's great.
He's like a super retro prop guru.
Vinyl LPs, an original portable '70s turntable.
- Oh! - What you got? - Helen Reddy.
- Oh, 'I am Woman'.
- Mm-hm.
- Cheesier than Rob's lasagne.
- I love my parents' LPs.
- Mm-hm.
'Hotel California', 'Tapestry'.
- 'Rumours'.
- Mm-hm.
Whoo-hoo! Did you see the documentary about this? No, but I like what you did there.
Huh? "I watch docos.
I'm an intellectual.
" Shut up! Hello? - Hello! - Yo! Delivery, mate.
- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.
No worries, mate.
Ooh! Look, look, look! - Ooh! - It's my walkabout stool.
Oh, fresh off the plane from Indonesia.
Open it? - Yeah.
- Open it! Shit.
Holy shit.
Look at this! Tom, it it's not that bad.
It's plastic laminate! Even if there was such a thing as good plastic laminate, which there isn't, this would not be it.
This is very bad.
Very, very bad.
Look.
This is not the end of the world.
It's the opposite of everything that I want my stuff to be.
It's meant to last.
It's supposed to be simple, useful, beautiful.
Hey, is it too late to do anything? - I don't know.
- Well, can you call them, tell them? I don't want to even think about this right now.
Cyclists have no sense of humour.
It's a fact.
Bike couriers are angry.
Why are they always so angry? Because they've gotta squeeze their nuts into skin-tight shorts.
Anyway, it wasn't the way to handle it.
It was misplaced chivalry, babe.
I like people that ride bikes.
- I ride bikes.
- No, you don't! I bought you one and I've never seen you ride it.
I think you like the idea of riding bikes.
No, bikes - ecologically sound, no fossil fuels.
You know what? The world would be a better place if everyone tried riding to work once in a while.
What? - You are a wanker.
- It's true, though.
This coming from Coxie, the man who can't be separated from his car without a tube of lubricant.
Ohh! Hey, phone violation! - Phones are supposed to be off! - Phones off! Hello.
So did your chair turn up today? Yes, it did.
- Any good? - I don't know.
I haven't had a chance to have a proper look at it.
Hey, where's dinner? What's going on? It's coming! Perfection takes time, my friend.
Well, I'll be the judge of that.
What happened to your rematch round, by the way? - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Too gutless? - No.
I didn't wanna see you cry when you lost, which you would've lost had I have cooked.
Oh, alright, boys.
Put them on the table.
Let's get a ruler.
Alright, well, send me through the documents and I'll get back to you in the morning.
So a good day all round, eh? Oh, yeah, it is right up there.
For the record, if it had been me instead of Carlos I would've defended you from the courier too.
That smells amazing.
What kind of pasta is that? It's not.
It's layers of potato - my masterstroke.
- That was delicious.
- Naturally.
Yeah, it wasn't bad for a lasagne with no pasta in it.
Which technically makes it shepherd's pie.
- Isn't that right, Tom? - I believe so, Rob.
Come on.
Hand it over.
The trophy has my name on it.
You know, if I knew this was the prize I wouldn't have tried so hard.
Alright, come on.
Let's do this.
Votes.
So what do I do? Watch Tom.
He's an expert at writing on napkins.
Do I write a score or No, a name - whoever you think wins the lasagne round.
OK, are we ready? Reveal.
Ooh, that's one for Rob from Colette.
Clearly a pity vote.
What have you got? Oh, look.
Rob's got Colette.
Hers was the best.
One for Steve from Miranda - loyal sister.
Steve from Dani - doting wife.
That's two votes for me.
- Oh, Miranda.
OK.
- Miranda for me also.
Seriously? Wow.
Scores are tied, punters.
Drum roll! And the winner is Miranda! Robbed! I can't Shush, shush.
- I can't accept this.
Shush! - Why not? I will not be the Lance Armstrong of FAT night.
- I cheated.
- What?! Yeah, the bald chef cooked it.
That is too funny.
You should win just because of that.
You totally could've got away with that! I think you'll find that means I win.
No, no, no.
Not so fast, Mr Potato Head.
When you take away the sheets of pasta, is it still lasagne? - Ooh.
- Nay! What about mine? It was awesome.
Moussaka masquerading as lasagne.
- What was yours again, Grace? - Forgettable, obviously.
Unlike my four-cheese, which was absolutely awesome.
- Ooh.
- It was awesome.
Lactose overdose which leaves Colette.
Like Steven Bradbury coming from behind when everyone else falls over, ladies and gentlemen Thank you.
Thank you so much.
I'll take it.
If only we had a mantelpiece for this.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus! What are you doing? Well, if Carlos hurled this thing the way Grace made out, he must be pretty strong.
It would've been one of those super-lightweight ones.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
So you ever planning on riding it? I meant to every day last week.
- Mm-hm.
- I did! Monday it rained, Tuesday I was running late, Wednesday and Thursday I was wearing heels and Friday I thought I had my period.
Oh, the non-cycling time of the cycle.
Yeah.
But I have split classes on Monday and I can ride there and then ride home for lunch.
You don't have to, babe.
You don't have to.
It's just that I bought it for you 'cause you said you missed having a bike and - I did and I do! - I thought that maybe I'm so glad that you bought it for me.
Thank you.
Have you ever heard of the saying "Whoever cooks doesn't clean up"? I would be happy to wash up if you didn't use every pot and pan and fork and spoon that we owned.
Excuse me, that's like expecting an artist to paint with only one brush.
So you'll be happy to know that I thought about what Tom said last night and I've come up with a budget of my own.
Don't move.
I'll call an ambulance.
Oh, funny.
No.
I've worked out how much money we'd save if you rode a bike to work instead of taking the car.
But I don't want to ride to work.
Well, it's unfair that I have to do all the compromising.
You need to make some sacrifices too.
Hey, I've only asked you to cut back on non-essentials.
Yeah, waxing as a non-essential is really a matter of opinion.
But, anyway, we would save $126 in parking, $60 in petrol, Baby, corporate suits and bikes don't agree.
Heaps of corporate guys ride.
The fake Breitling watch guy rides, right? Yeah.
So ride in looking way hotter, steal his clients and stick it right up him and his fake watch.
I think you just beat me at my own game.
You gotta be kidding me.
No way.
Um, they are my work documents? Yeah.
What are the chances, huh? I'm sorry.
Hey, your boyfriend's a tool, but that's not your fault.
I admit I lost my cool, OK? Um, I've lost a lot of close mates.
I will do the right thing by you.
What the hell are you doing here?! - Leave her alone! - Don't even think about it.
Carlos, no, it's OK.
He just What do you want? You wanna fight? - I want my $3,000 bike back! - So you talk to me! - You don't come around here.
- Piss off out of my face.
Hey, hey, hey! Carlos, no! - Ohh! - What's going on?! Are you OK? What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like a psycho? Gracie, he pushed me.
I was defending myself.
We had a problem and now we have an even bigger one 'cause you had to come out and swing your dick.
He's not even hurt! He's got a few bruises.
Do you honestly think that's the point? I was talking about your behaviour.
I was trying to protect you.
He was delivering documents.
We were sorting it out.
Who asked you to protect me? I have to.
You're my woman.
Carlos I don't even know what to do with that.
Is there something wrong with wanting to look after you? No, not in some pre-feminist universe.
- Then what? - Where is this coming from? Is it because we've decided we're exclusive that you're suddenly possessive? I'm not possessive.
I don't like it when some man threatens you.
I've got work to do.
I will sort this headache out later.
Can I stay around? Suit yourself, but I'm gonna be working.
It was lucky he was wearing his bike helmet.
You know, some men can get away with wearing lycra, can't they, but on a chubby bloke - You mean MAMILs.
- Mammals? 'Middle-aged men in lycra' - MAMILs.
- Oh, I love that! - You shouldn't knock it.
You should actually be riding a bike whilst you've got no licence.
No, no, no.
I couldn't do that.
Those seats aren't kind on your bits.
OK! Overshare.
You need to tell her.
- I can't do it.
- Just tell her.
I mean, you don't have to say that Maggie, thanks so much for lunch.
- It was lovely.
- Oh, do you have to rush off? Yeah, I've got a shoot I need to do.
The photographer is a nightmare.
Well, thank you for coming.
It was lovely to have you.
- Thank you for having me.
- Mwah.
- See ya.
- Ciao.
- Mum - Mm? That was amazing.
That was really, really good.
You're a really good cook, Mum.
Really, really delicious.
How much? I don't want to go to Dad.
That's why I'm coming to you.
Wasn't it only five minutes ago you were on your high horse about paying your own way? I know, but I have to buy this contract out.
I can't blow my design on this.
Can you really afford these principles, Tom? If you get me the loan I'll find a way to promote the design myself somehow and I will make the money back.
How much of it are you asking us for? I've got over half.
I just need the rest.
I'm sorry, darling, but if you want money you're gonna have to talk to your father.
I can't just write you a cheque.
Thanks.
You're angry.
You're punishing me.
I am angry, but I'm not punishing you.
I feel nothing when I kiss you.
That's the first time.
I have sex with my brain as well as my body, so when I'm stressed the shop's shut.
Well, sex is very good for relieving stress, so Yeah, it doesn't work that way with me.
Why don't you go home and do some study? I'm gonna be reading this for ages.
I'd rather stay.
Where is that going? Don't panic.
I'm just dumping my bag.
This gear's not for me.
Carbon fibre fork, rear hub with fully stainless steel bearings and 17mm bolt through.
Is that good? - It's a bargain.
- I love it.
Pop these on with it and you'll look like a pro.
Accessories! This is like Christmas.
Are you sure this is the right gear? - 'Cause if I'm gonna do this - Please try this on.
No way, because if you laugh, I will not be riding to work.
- You rang? - I'm leaving.
Righto.
Watch out for Carlos.
Don't get him riled up or he'll push you down the stairs.
Lucky I've got a big tough guy to look after me, then.
I don't think you've ever needed me to fight your battles.
- Maybe not.
- I'll give you a hand.
Oh, no, it's OK.
I can handle it.
I'm a big girl.
So what time do you reckon you'll be home? Oh, I don't know how slow I'll be.
Maybe 1:00.
Well, I'm only spending a couple of hours on site this morning so I will have lunch waiting.
- You're sweet.
- You're hot.
That fabric really leaves nothing to the imagination, does it? Maggie, I love you, but you have to look away.
I wish you luck in the traffic.
Is it bad that I'd rather be mown down on the road than face my day at work? Oh, good luck with that, then, too.
Morning! Good morning.
Does Grace Barnes reside at this address? Certainly does.
- Is she home? - No.
She's gone to work.
Is there someone with the Christian name of Carlos living here? - Nope.
- Right.
But he stayed over last night if you boys want a chat with him.
Can you just wait while I chain up my bike? I'm going to the city.
It seems you're only here on a student visa, Mr Don Santos.
Dos Santos.
Sorry.
Dos Santos.
That puts a slightly different complexion on things.
So what happens next? We'll give Immigration a call and see what they want to do, but if you're charged and found guilty there's a good chance your visa may be revoked on the grounds of a character violation.
Uh, can I call my lawyer first? Nup, I'm not asking my dad.
That is not happening.
He didn't ask you to start paying higher rent.
You put that on yourself.
Yeah, but I made a stand.
It's a man thing.
I would rather stick pins in my eyeballs than hit him up for cash.
OK! Why didn't you tell Steve last night? He doesn't need to know.
- Well, he's your best friend.
- So? So he could have a good idea or something, a business deal.
You know, he's good like that.
Mmm, he is.
I could sell my car.
That that's gotta be worth a bit.
No, no Tom, you can't sell your car.
You wouldn't be you without your car.
Well, there's probably lots of reasons why I shouldn't be holding on to it anymore.
Tom, no.
Look at me.
You absolutely cannot sell the car, OK? There has to be another way to do this.
Mmm.
I reckon you'd get more than enough for the car to cover it.
Yeah? You spoken to the blokes who built your crappy chair yet? - Yeah.
- And? Oh, some lame excuse.
Wood was harder to source than expected.
So they did a half-arsed job? I just wish there was some way that I could unsign a contract.
I'd make good use of that.
They're not on the market yet.
Why don't you buy them back? A container load? It's not cheap.
These guys are importing and installing kitchens as well and they need good cabinet-makers to put them in, so they suggested I help them with their installation service, two days a week for zip, and I pay the debt off that way.
Seems reasonable.
Well, if selling your soul to the devil's reasonable then, yes, very reasonable.
So they're a bit shonky, but, you know, it's either that or you rub the old girl down one last time and kiss her goodbye.
- Yep.
- Hmm? Good chat.
Yeah, I got away.
But I wanted to hear how your ride went today.
Oh, it was challenging.
So you got there safely? Yep, I got here safely.
Great.
How long did it take you? Uh oh, I didn't look.
So you're on your way home for lunch now? Uh, yep.
I'll be there in about 20.
- OK, you ride careful.
- I'll be fine.
OK, see you soon.
'Bye.
I haven't informed Immigration yet, but we'll have to once we charge him.
OK.
The assault charges won't stick.
We have a witness who'll testify that Carlos was defending himself and the courier pushed him first.
Um it's all actually been blown out of proportion.
I think we can save everyone a lot of time and grief.
The courier is actually a reasonable guy.
Under all that lycra.
So if you can bring him in I think we can resolve this without charges.
Hey.
Some refreshments for the marathon rider.
You must be rooted.
You didn't need to make such a big fuss.
What is it? It's a sports drink, although you haven't even cracked a sweat.
- You must be really fit.
- Baby, this is so thoughtful.
Yeah, it's good for, um, you know, muscle fatigue, loss of electrolytes, all that.
Drink up.
So which route did you take? Um, I went via Centennial Park.
Oh, yeah? Down Avoca and Anzac or along Lang? Um, yeah, that one.
And then? And then what? Well, how'd you get to the mall? Um, I went up Oxford Street and by the park and then down.
I saw you.
What? I saw you get in the cab.
You're an arsehole.
Why would you put me through that? I'm the arsehole? You're the one who can't even be honest about riding your bike to work.
- What's that all about? - I tried to ride.
But there are huge hills, Rob.
I was holding up traffic.
I was nearly killed in a road rage incident.
So you cheated.
Why not just say that? I was trying to make you happy because I knew how much the bike meant! I wanted to please you.
It's horrible.
You were trapping me.
Well, you can't trap someone who doesn't lie.
What are you doing? I'm riding back for my afternoon class.
If I leave now, I'll make it.
Don't be stupid.
It's not even about riding the bike.
At least each your lunch first.
If I'm such a liar and a cheat why would you wanna have lunch with me anyway, Rob? There will be full compensation.
My insurance company will pay for the bike.
I want more than the insurance.
It's undervalued.
Alright, should we say a sum - Agreed? - Agreed.
I think that covers it.
I'll write up a document and we can all sign it.
- I want an apology.
- Of course.
I am very, very sorry and I will put that in No, no, from him.
Absolutely.
Mr Dos Santos will apologise unreservedly for his actions.
Mr Dos Santos? I can't believe it.
You're unbelievable.
I think the word that you're looking for is 'thank you'.
Oh, yeah, thank you very much for humiliating me.
I just saved your arse.
I would never, never apologise to that babaca.
You make me look like a bunda mole.
I don't even know what that means.
A guy with no balls.
Scared not to do what his girlfriend tells him.
In there, I was not your girlfriend, I was your lawyer.
- And you are lucky to have me.
- Oh, yeah.
You almost had your visa cancelled.
Maybe I would rather leave than be a pussy.
Don't be stupid.
You don't speak for me, OK? I speak for myself.
And next time you feel like speaking for me and getting all over-protective, don't.
You're cold.
You feel nothing from here, Grace.
I'm not your woman.
If these guys have ripped you off once, they might do it again.
Are you that deadset against selling the car? Miranda talked me out of it.
- Miranda talked you? - Mm-hm.
- Oh, that's hysterical, isn't it? - Mm-hm.
I really think that you should tell Miranda about this bet you have with Steve.
What's the point of that? You don't think she's gonna feel like she's been the butt of some joke when it comes out? - And it will come out.
- Why are you saying this now? Because blind Freddy can see that the girl is starting to fall for you.
Oh, blind Freddy needs new glasses, Mum.
And speaking as a woman, I would hate to find out from someone else that a man I liked had a bet not to sleep with me.
Well, she's not going to find out.
And even if she did, she wouldn't care.
She wouldn't.
Famous last words.
Anyway, I tried to tell her but now it's just gone beyond that, and I feel like it's for the best.
Well, not necessarily.
Come on.
You saw what I did to Kristen.
I'm trying.
I'm trying to be a better man.
And I-I don't want to wreck any more lives.
Is that the truth, Tom? Or is it just you making excuses not to commit? OK, I think we'll just leave it there.
- Hmm.
- And in regards to the chair.
- Mm-hm? - I have it all sorted now.
So there's no need to mention it to Dad when you speak to him, OK? - OK, good for you, darling.
- Alright, I have to go.
Come on, you gotta go.
- I love ya.
Come on.
- See ya.
Alright, I'm going.
- Oh.
- Hey.
Hey.
I wondered where you'd got to.
Yeah, I was just talking things over with Mum.
Made a decision? Yep.
Yep.
I'm I'm going there now to sign the deal.
So start working for him next week.
- Good.
- Hey.
You wanna come for a drive? I'm glad you're not giving this up.
Hello.
Yeah, this is her husband.
Would you like some more water? I can get my car.
Alright, I'm alright.
I just want my husband.
Hey.
What are you thinking? That you were right.
I was an arsehole.
You know what I was thinking when I fell off the bike? Fuck! Yes.
But also, you know, while I was sitting there, the only thing I wanted was for you to be there.
You're the only person in this world I wanted to see.
Well, I came as soon as you called.
I know.
I just want us to be honest with each other from now on.
About everything.
- Hi.
- Hey.
You survived the traffic I see.
Gosh, you're sweating like a pregnant nun.
- As Warwick would say.
- Yeah.
How was work? You ever heard of exercise after-burn? No.
It's when you do something vigorous and, despite having a shower, you proceed to perspire for an hour afterwards.
Down your face, through your shirt.
- Sounds attractive.
- Yeah.
And I have no doubt my clients thought so too.
Well, you got him off.
He should be kissing your feet.
I spent two hours bailing him out when things are insane at work.
What are you gonna do? Well, he'll have to make the first move, and I don't know what I'll say when he does.
Well, you'll forgive him? We are so mismatched.
And this whole thing, it's just It's obvious.
I don't get carried away.
I keep a cool head, and I do what's right.
He is a volcano.
Yeah, but that's a good thing.
You know, you're a balance.
He expects me to be this passionate woman.
What, the kind of woman that has sex in bushes after a wedding? Yes.
Her.
He expects me to be her, and I'm not her.
I don't know if I can be the woman he wants me to be.
And, actually, I don't even know if I wanna be that woman, and maybe that just means we need to say 'sayonara' in Portuguese.
Oh, that's Steve.
- Oh, um, I'll go.
- No, no, no.
No, that's fine.
I just I need to get my head clear before I hear from Carlos.
See ya.
Grace.
Don't worry.
I'm-I'm going.
I'll see you later.
Hi.
IV.
Beer.
Stat.
Oh, honey, don't I am not one of those guys that rides bikes to work.
It cost me 800 bucks plus a huge bonus.
What happened? The more I sweated, the more I choked.
It was disgusting.
And then this massive drop slid off my nose and landed splat on the contract right in front of the client.
They didn't sign and Jason gave me hell.
The client said I looked desperate.
Because you were sweating.
That's the problem.
I am actually desperate.
For money? To prove myself.
Everyone thinks I'm this high achiever.
The way Tom went on about it at the wedding But compared to the other guys in there, I'm not.
But you will be.
I just I don't know if I'm any good at this work.
Well, then, maybe you need to make a change.
You know, do something that actually makes you happy.
No, I'm not a quitter.
I'll ditch the job eventually but not until I've succeeded.
That is such man logic.
Yeah, superior logic.
I mean, I quit my job and we managed.
If you wanna quit yours, we can manage again.
This is pretty yuck.
I wasn't gonna say anything.
Why did you vote for my lasagne when you know I didn't cook it? Well, I couldn't let your brother win, could I? And you wouldn't let him know about the stool either.
What's what's the problem? Well, come on.
Steve.
Financial whiz-kid, self-made man.
I'm still the kid stealing money from his mum's purse.
No, you shouldn't compare yourself to Steve.
No, because he's paying off a mortgage and I still can't raise the rent.
You know, I love my brother, but he can be .
.
he can be so serious.
You know, I like your take on money much better.
Mm-hm, by my take, you mean have none, spend other people's.
Weird - this competitive thing with you and Steve.
Well, like I said before, it's a man thing.
A boy thing more like.
You know, I remember when you guys used to used to bet on everything.
"I bet you my lightsaber "I can do a wheelie for longer than you.
" - "I bet you" - That lightsaber.
"I bet you my Game Boy I can pee further than you.
" It used to drive me insane.
- It was pretty bad, huh? - Childish and pathetic.
Yeah.
Thank God that you grew up to be this honourable guy that has principles and ideals.
I admire you so much, Tom.
You don't have to compete with Steve anymore.
Hmm.
Harry said I could wait for you to get out of the shower.
Did he? He looked sufficiently sheepish to me.
- Harry, do you mind? - Not at all.
Oh.
You mean, "Why don't I make us a cup of soup?" Thank you.
I owe you for what you did and I will make it up to you.
I don't want you to make it up to me.
I believe in the law.
It may seem cold to you, but to me, it is rational, purposeful and it works.
It's who I am.
And I can't be in a relationship or or whatever this is with someone who doesn't understand that about me.
I respect that.
But what about the passion? Save it for the bedroom? I'm sorry for how I behaved.
It was wrong.
Classic tomato or hearty beef? So if you're not riding to work, does that mean I'm the only one back on this budget? Well, I was thinking about that and .
.
I wanna start catching the bus a few times a week.
You on a bus? I'll cut back on parking, petrol and tolls to build your waxing back into our budget because I love you and appreciate you.
You have never been more sexy.
Say that again.
I love you and appreciate you.
Oh, no, no.
Waxing's back.
Mm.
I love those smooth legs.
Mm.
Let me wrap them around you.
Carlos.
Querida.
I don't think that I'm the person that you think I am.
So you're not smart or funny or interesting or good at your job or beautiful? Well, yes, I'm all of those things.
Then you are the person I think you are.
Hey, do I recognise that T-shirt? Oh, yeah.
I, um I rescued it from your charity pile.
Did you now? I thought you wouldn't mind recycling.
It's got holes.
Kind of wabi-sabi.
Well, if I knew it looked that good, I never would have thrown it out.
I am woman Hear me roar In numbers too big to ignore And I know too much to go back and pretend 'Cause I've heard it all before And I've been down there on the floor No-one's ever gonna keep me down again Oh, yes I am wise But it's wisdom born of pain Yes, I've paid the price But look how much I've gained If I have to I can do anything - # I am strong - # Bo-dum-chee - # I am invincible - # Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-boo! I am woman.
Convince him to sell me his design.
Wabi-sabi - it's a Japanese ethic that nothing is ever finished, nothing is perfect.
It's a no-go on the promo, Stevo.
- What? - The boss asked me to step up.
Miranda, there's something - Miranda! - Oh, come in.
Uh, we're going out.
Why is it always work? Work weekends, nights, all the time? Because that's the job.
It's crazy.
I'm on call.
I can't help it.
Nearly finished.
What's so important? Just hang on.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Are you OK? What the fuck?! Why didn't you look? - Hey, cool it! - Are you OK? My bike! It's trashed! Yeah, I'll I'll give you my details.
- Oh, my God.
You're bleeding.
- Of course I'm bleeding.
You opened your car door on me! Hey, that's enough! Don't talk to her like that.
- It was an accident! - It it's OK.
It's OK.
I'm sorry.
I just I didn't see you.
Yeah, it's because you didn't look, you stupid - Hey! - Hey, don't touch that! - Hey, no! Oh! - Hey! Stop arguing the law with me, Carlos! It's malicious damage to property if nothing else.
Just because he said he'll sue doesn't mean he will.
What did you expect me to do? Oh, I don't know.
Pick up his bike and throw it off a cliff.
I really thought to myself, "Gee, I hope Carlos does that.
" I hope it wasn't a Cervelo.
This guy was being aggressive, acting like a jerk.
So, that gave you permission to be aggressive - and act like a jerk too? - He was trying to intimidate her.
- I was in the wrong, so - He wasn't in a bike lane.
How is that her fault? Whichever way you look at it, I'm legally culpable.
When it's car versus bike, the car's always wrong.
- Everyone knows that.
- That's ridiculous! Yeah, hi.
No, because he is a high-profile sports identity, and if we are wrong it's gonna cost us hundreds of thousands of dollars more.
You think the bike's still down there? Tell her I've gone home to study.
Smug bastard.
I have an extremely well-developed killer instinct.
- Of course you do.
- Arggh! I should unleash it on him.
You show him by signing up those clients on Monday.
Ever since he got my promotion the guy's been rubbing it in.
The man wears a fake Breitling watch.
He's a loser.
Yeah, he's a loser who's gonna make a huge bonus if I don't sign these guys first.
Well, you will.
That's Grace.
Carlos isn't coming.
So your day went well? Started on Monday and by Tuesday it was like I'd been there forever.
I love working for charity.
It feels so good.
Except you're working for charity in more ways than one.
The pay's not great, but it'll go up once my trial period's over.
Besides, I have been really good.
I haven't bought any new clothes in, like - Hours.
- Weeks.
I know.
You've been amazing.
Can you pass me the water jug? No, I'll finish that.
You get ready.
I am ready.
Oh, baby.
I wasn't looking! Baby, I can see you're ready.
No, no.
FYI - this is what 'ready' on a budget looks like.
Oof! Hmm.
I can see you! Harry, hey.
I hope your photographer appreciates the classics - Village People, Talking Heads, David Bowie when he was still androgynous.
- Oh, Harry, thank you so much.
- Where do you want them? Um, just on the table there.
I'm gonna take them down to the workshop, so - Oh, you want a hand? - No, no.
I can do it.
If you need me to demonstrate any of the 1970s dance moves I'd be happy to oblige.
- Thank you.
- Anytime.
You and me and a disco ball.
Yeah, that would be so fun.
Yep.
Nutbush.
Limit.
The bump.
Funky chicken.
Ooh, I'm really uncoordinated so, you know, it's just Oh, well.
Yeah, but thanks so much for all of that.
Thank you.
See ya.
Harry's great.
He's like a super retro prop guru.
Vinyl LPs, an original portable '70s turntable.
- Oh! - What you got? - Helen Reddy.
- Oh, 'I am Woman'.
- Mm-hm.
- Cheesier than Rob's lasagne.
- I love my parents' LPs.
- Mm-hm.
'Hotel California', 'Tapestry'.
- 'Rumours'.
- Mm-hm.
Whoo-hoo! Did you see the documentary about this? No, but I like what you did there.
Huh? "I watch docos.
I'm an intellectual.
" Shut up! Hello? - Hello! - Yo! Delivery, mate.
- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.
No worries, mate.
Ooh! Look, look, look! - Ooh! - It's my walkabout stool.
Oh, fresh off the plane from Indonesia.
Open it? - Yeah.
- Open it! Shit.
Holy shit.
Look at this! Tom, it it's not that bad.
It's plastic laminate! Even if there was such a thing as good plastic laminate, which there isn't, this would not be it.
This is very bad.
Very, very bad.
Look.
This is not the end of the world.
It's the opposite of everything that I want my stuff to be.
It's meant to last.
It's supposed to be simple, useful, beautiful.
Hey, is it too late to do anything? - I don't know.
- Well, can you call them, tell them? I don't want to even think about this right now.
Cyclists have no sense of humour.
It's a fact.
Bike couriers are angry.
Why are they always so angry? Because they've gotta squeeze their nuts into skin-tight shorts.
Anyway, it wasn't the way to handle it.
It was misplaced chivalry, babe.
I like people that ride bikes.
- I ride bikes.
- No, you don't! I bought you one and I've never seen you ride it.
I think you like the idea of riding bikes.
No, bikes - ecologically sound, no fossil fuels.
You know what? The world would be a better place if everyone tried riding to work once in a while.
What? - You are a wanker.
- It's true, though.
This coming from Coxie, the man who can't be separated from his car without a tube of lubricant.
Ohh! Hey, phone violation! - Phones are supposed to be off! - Phones off! Hello.
So did your chair turn up today? Yes, it did.
- Any good? - I don't know.
I haven't had a chance to have a proper look at it.
Hey, where's dinner? What's going on? It's coming! Perfection takes time, my friend.
Well, I'll be the judge of that.
What happened to your rematch round, by the way? - Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Too gutless? - No.
I didn't wanna see you cry when you lost, which you would've lost had I have cooked.
Oh, alright, boys.
Put them on the table.
Let's get a ruler.
Alright, well, send me through the documents and I'll get back to you in the morning.
So a good day all round, eh? Oh, yeah, it is right up there.
For the record, if it had been me instead of Carlos I would've defended you from the courier too.
That smells amazing.
What kind of pasta is that? It's not.
It's layers of potato - my masterstroke.
- That was delicious.
- Naturally.
Yeah, it wasn't bad for a lasagne with no pasta in it.
Which technically makes it shepherd's pie.
- Isn't that right, Tom? - I believe so, Rob.
Come on.
Hand it over.
The trophy has my name on it.
You know, if I knew this was the prize I wouldn't have tried so hard.
Alright, come on.
Let's do this.
Votes.
So what do I do? Watch Tom.
He's an expert at writing on napkins.
Do I write a score or No, a name - whoever you think wins the lasagne round.
OK, are we ready? Reveal.
Ooh, that's one for Rob from Colette.
Clearly a pity vote.
What have you got? Oh, look.
Rob's got Colette.
Hers was the best.
One for Steve from Miranda - loyal sister.
Steve from Dani - doting wife.
That's two votes for me.
- Oh, Miranda.
OK.
- Miranda for me also.
Seriously? Wow.
Scores are tied, punters.
Drum roll! And the winner is Miranda! Robbed! I can't Shush, shush.
- I can't accept this.
Shush! - Why not? I will not be the Lance Armstrong of FAT night.
- I cheated.
- What?! Yeah, the bald chef cooked it.
That is too funny.
You should win just because of that.
You totally could've got away with that! I think you'll find that means I win.
No, no, no.
Not so fast, Mr Potato Head.
When you take away the sheets of pasta, is it still lasagne? - Ooh.
- Nay! What about mine? It was awesome.
Moussaka masquerading as lasagne.
- What was yours again, Grace? - Forgettable, obviously.
Unlike my four-cheese, which was absolutely awesome.
- Ooh.
- It was awesome.
Lactose overdose which leaves Colette.
Like Steven Bradbury coming from behind when everyone else falls over, ladies and gentlemen Thank you.
Thank you so much.
I'll take it.
If only we had a mantelpiece for this.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus! What are you doing? Well, if Carlos hurled this thing the way Grace made out, he must be pretty strong.
It would've been one of those super-lightweight ones.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
So you ever planning on riding it? I meant to every day last week.
- Mm-hm.
- I did! Monday it rained, Tuesday I was running late, Wednesday and Thursday I was wearing heels and Friday I thought I had my period.
Oh, the non-cycling time of the cycle.
Yeah.
But I have split classes on Monday and I can ride there and then ride home for lunch.
You don't have to, babe.
You don't have to.
It's just that I bought it for you 'cause you said you missed having a bike and - I did and I do! - I thought that maybe I'm so glad that you bought it for me.
Thank you.
Have you ever heard of the saying "Whoever cooks doesn't clean up"? I would be happy to wash up if you didn't use every pot and pan and fork and spoon that we owned.
Excuse me, that's like expecting an artist to paint with only one brush.
So you'll be happy to know that I thought about what Tom said last night and I've come up with a budget of my own.
Don't move.
I'll call an ambulance.
Oh, funny.
No.
I've worked out how much money we'd save if you rode a bike to work instead of taking the car.
But I don't want to ride to work.
Well, it's unfair that I have to do all the compromising.
You need to make some sacrifices too.
Hey, I've only asked you to cut back on non-essentials.
Yeah, waxing as a non-essential is really a matter of opinion.
But, anyway, we would save $126 in parking, $60 in petrol, Baby, corporate suits and bikes don't agree.
Heaps of corporate guys ride.
The fake Breitling watch guy rides, right? Yeah.
So ride in looking way hotter, steal his clients and stick it right up him and his fake watch.
I think you just beat me at my own game.
You gotta be kidding me.
No way.
Um, they are my work documents? Yeah.
What are the chances, huh? I'm sorry.
Hey, your boyfriend's a tool, but that's not your fault.
I admit I lost my cool, OK? Um, I've lost a lot of close mates.
I will do the right thing by you.
What the hell are you doing here?! - Leave her alone! - Don't even think about it.
Carlos, no, it's OK.
He just What do you want? You wanna fight? - I want my $3,000 bike back! - So you talk to me! - You don't come around here.
- Piss off out of my face.
Hey, hey, hey! Carlos, no! - Ohh! - What's going on?! Are you OK? What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like a psycho? Gracie, he pushed me.
I was defending myself.
We had a problem and now we have an even bigger one 'cause you had to come out and swing your dick.
He's not even hurt! He's got a few bruises.
Do you honestly think that's the point? I was talking about your behaviour.
I was trying to protect you.
He was delivering documents.
We were sorting it out.
Who asked you to protect me? I have to.
You're my woman.
Carlos I don't even know what to do with that.
Is there something wrong with wanting to look after you? No, not in some pre-feminist universe.
- Then what? - Where is this coming from? Is it because we've decided we're exclusive that you're suddenly possessive? I'm not possessive.
I don't like it when some man threatens you.
I've got work to do.
I will sort this headache out later.
Can I stay around? Suit yourself, but I'm gonna be working.
It was lucky he was wearing his bike helmet.
You know, some men can get away with wearing lycra, can't they, but on a chubby bloke - You mean MAMILs.
- Mammals? 'Middle-aged men in lycra' - MAMILs.
- Oh, I love that! - You shouldn't knock it.
You should actually be riding a bike whilst you've got no licence.
No, no, no.
I couldn't do that.
Those seats aren't kind on your bits.
OK! Overshare.
You need to tell her.
- I can't do it.
- Just tell her.
I mean, you don't have to say that Maggie, thanks so much for lunch.
- It was lovely.
- Oh, do you have to rush off? Yeah, I've got a shoot I need to do.
The photographer is a nightmare.
Well, thank you for coming.
It was lovely to have you.
- Thank you for having me.
- Mwah.
- See ya.
- Ciao.
- Mum - Mm? That was amazing.
That was really, really good.
You're a really good cook, Mum.
Really, really delicious.
How much? I don't want to go to Dad.
That's why I'm coming to you.
Wasn't it only five minutes ago you were on your high horse about paying your own way? I know, but I have to buy this contract out.
I can't blow my design on this.
Can you really afford these principles, Tom? If you get me the loan I'll find a way to promote the design myself somehow and I will make the money back.
How much of it are you asking us for? I've got over half.
I just need the rest.
I'm sorry, darling, but if you want money you're gonna have to talk to your father.
I can't just write you a cheque.
Thanks.
You're angry.
You're punishing me.
I am angry, but I'm not punishing you.
I feel nothing when I kiss you.
That's the first time.
I have sex with my brain as well as my body, so when I'm stressed the shop's shut.
Well, sex is very good for relieving stress, so Yeah, it doesn't work that way with me.
Why don't you go home and do some study? I'm gonna be reading this for ages.
I'd rather stay.
Where is that going? Don't panic.
I'm just dumping my bag.
This gear's not for me.
Carbon fibre fork, rear hub with fully stainless steel bearings and 17mm bolt through.
Is that good? - It's a bargain.
- I love it.
Pop these on with it and you'll look like a pro.
Accessories! This is like Christmas.
Are you sure this is the right gear? - 'Cause if I'm gonna do this - Please try this on.
No way, because if you laugh, I will not be riding to work.
- You rang? - I'm leaving.
Righto.
Watch out for Carlos.
Don't get him riled up or he'll push you down the stairs.
Lucky I've got a big tough guy to look after me, then.
I don't think you've ever needed me to fight your battles.
- Maybe not.
- I'll give you a hand.
Oh, no, it's OK.
I can handle it.
I'm a big girl.
So what time do you reckon you'll be home? Oh, I don't know how slow I'll be.
Maybe 1:00.
Well, I'm only spending a couple of hours on site this morning so I will have lunch waiting.
- You're sweet.
- You're hot.
That fabric really leaves nothing to the imagination, does it? Maggie, I love you, but you have to look away.
I wish you luck in the traffic.
Is it bad that I'd rather be mown down on the road than face my day at work? Oh, good luck with that, then, too.
Morning! Good morning.
Does Grace Barnes reside at this address? Certainly does.
- Is she home? - No.
She's gone to work.
Is there someone with the Christian name of Carlos living here? - Nope.
- Right.
But he stayed over last night if you boys want a chat with him.
Can you just wait while I chain up my bike? I'm going to the city.
It seems you're only here on a student visa, Mr Don Santos.
Dos Santos.
Sorry.
Dos Santos.
That puts a slightly different complexion on things.
So what happens next? We'll give Immigration a call and see what they want to do, but if you're charged and found guilty there's a good chance your visa may be revoked on the grounds of a character violation.
Uh, can I call my lawyer first? Nup, I'm not asking my dad.
That is not happening.
He didn't ask you to start paying higher rent.
You put that on yourself.
Yeah, but I made a stand.
It's a man thing.
I would rather stick pins in my eyeballs than hit him up for cash.
OK! Why didn't you tell Steve last night? He doesn't need to know.
- Well, he's your best friend.
- So? So he could have a good idea or something, a business deal.
You know, he's good like that.
Mmm, he is.
I could sell my car.
That that's gotta be worth a bit.
No, no Tom, you can't sell your car.
You wouldn't be you without your car.
Well, there's probably lots of reasons why I shouldn't be holding on to it anymore.
Tom, no.
Look at me.
You absolutely cannot sell the car, OK? There has to be another way to do this.
Mmm.
I reckon you'd get more than enough for the car to cover it.
Yeah? You spoken to the blokes who built your crappy chair yet? - Yeah.
- And? Oh, some lame excuse.
Wood was harder to source than expected.
So they did a half-arsed job? I just wish there was some way that I could unsign a contract.
I'd make good use of that.
They're not on the market yet.
Why don't you buy them back? A container load? It's not cheap.
These guys are importing and installing kitchens as well and they need good cabinet-makers to put them in, so they suggested I help them with their installation service, two days a week for zip, and I pay the debt off that way.
Seems reasonable.
Well, if selling your soul to the devil's reasonable then, yes, very reasonable.
So they're a bit shonky, but, you know, it's either that or you rub the old girl down one last time and kiss her goodbye.
- Yep.
- Hmm? Good chat.
Yeah, I got away.
But I wanted to hear how your ride went today.
Oh, it was challenging.
So you got there safely? Yep, I got here safely.
Great.
How long did it take you? Uh oh, I didn't look.
So you're on your way home for lunch now? Uh, yep.
I'll be there in about 20.
- OK, you ride careful.
- I'll be fine.
OK, see you soon.
'Bye.
I haven't informed Immigration yet, but we'll have to once we charge him.
OK.
The assault charges won't stick.
We have a witness who'll testify that Carlos was defending himself and the courier pushed him first.
Um it's all actually been blown out of proportion.
I think we can save everyone a lot of time and grief.
The courier is actually a reasonable guy.
Under all that lycra.
So if you can bring him in I think we can resolve this without charges.
Hey.
Some refreshments for the marathon rider.
You must be rooted.
You didn't need to make such a big fuss.
What is it? It's a sports drink, although you haven't even cracked a sweat.
- You must be really fit.
- Baby, this is so thoughtful.
Yeah, it's good for, um, you know, muscle fatigue, loss of electrolytes, all that.
Drink up.
So which route did you take? Um, I went via Centennial Park.
Oh, yeah? Down Avoca and Anzac or along Lang? Um, yeah, that one.
And then? And then what? Well, how'd you get to the mall? Um, I went up Oxford Street and by the park and then down.
I saw you.
What? I saw you get in the cab.
You're an arsehole.
Why would you put me through that? I'm the arsehole? You're the one who can't even be honest about riding your bike to work.
- What's that all about? - I tried to ride.
But there are huge hills, Rob.
I was holding up traffic.
I was nearly killed in a road rage incident.
So you cheated.
Why not just say that? I was trying to make you happy because I knew how much the bike meant! I wanted to please you.
It's horrible.
You were trapping me.
Well, you can't trap someone who doesn't lie.
What are you doing? I'm riding back for my afternoon class.
If I leave now, I'll make it.
Don't be stupid.
It's not even about riding the bike.
At least each your lunch first.
If I'm such a liar and a cheat why would you wanna have lunch with me anyway, Rob? There will be full compensation.
My insurance company will pay for the bike.
I want more than the insurance.
It's undervalued.
Alright, should we say a sum - Agreed? - Agreed.
I think that covers it.
I'll write up a document and we can all sign it.
- I want an apology.
- Of course.
I am very, very sorry and I will put that in No, no, from him.
Absolutely.
Mr Dos Santos will apologise unreservedly for his actions.
Mr Dos Santos? I can't believe it.
You're unbelievable.
I think the word that you're looking for is 'thank you'.
Oh, yeah, thank you very much for humiliating me.
I just saved your arse.
I would never, never apologise to that babaca.
You make me look like a bunda mole.
I don't even know what that means.
A guy with no balls.
Scared not to do what his girlfriend tells him.
In there, I was not your girlfriend, I was your lawyer.
- And you are lucky to have me.
- Oh, yeah.
You almost had your visa cancelled.
Maybe I would rather leave than be a pussy.
Don't be stupid.
You don't speak for me, OK? I speak for myself.
And next time you feel like speaking for me and getting all over-protective, don't.
You're cold.
You feel nothing from here, Grace.
I'm not your woman.
If these guys have ripped you off once, they might do it again.
Are you that deadset against selling the car? Miranda talked me out of it.
- Miranda talked you? - Mm-hm.
- Oh, that's hysterical, isn't it? - Mm-hm.
I really think that you should tell Miranda about this bet you have with Steve.
What's the point of that? You don't think she's gonna feel like she's been the butt of some joke when it comes out? - And it will come out.
- Why are you saying this now? Because blind Freddy can see that the girl is starting to fall for you.
Oh, blind Freddy needs new glasses, Mum.
And speaking as a woman, I would hate to find out from someone else that a man I liked had a bet not to sleep with me.
Well, she's not going to find out.
And even if she did, she wouldn't care.
She wouldn't.
Famous last words.
Anyway, I tried to tell her but now it's just gone beyond that, and I feel like it's for the best.
Well, not necessarily.
Come on.
You saw what I did to Kristen.
I'm trying.
I'm trying to be a better man.
And I-I don't want to wreck any more lives.
Is that the truth, Tom? Or is it just you making excuses not to commit? OK, I think we'll just leave it there.
- Hmm.
- And in regards to the chair.
- Mm-hm? - I have it all sorted now.
So there's no need to mention it to Dad when you speak to him, OK? - OK, good for you, darling.
- Alright, I have to go.
Come on, you gotta go.
- I love ya.
Come on.
- See ya.
Alright, I'm going.
- Oh.
- Hey.
Hey.
I wondered where you'd got to.
Yeah, I was just talking things over with Mum.
Made a decision? Yep.
Yep.
I'm I'm going there now to sign the deal.
So start working for him next week.
- Good.
- Hey.
You wanna come for a drive? I'm glad you're not giving this up.
Hello.
Yeah, this is her husband.
Would you like some more water? I can get my car.
Alright, I'm alright.
I just want my husband.
Hey.
What are you thinking? That you were right.
I was an arsehole.
You know what I was thinking when I fell off the bike? Fuck! Yes.
But also, you know, while I was sitting there, the only thing I wanted was for you to be there.
You're the only person in this world I wanted to see.
Well, I came as soon as you called.
I know.
I just want us to be honest with each other from now on.
About everything.
- Hi.
- Hey.
You survived the traffic I see.
Gosh, you're sweating like a pregnant nun.
- As Warwick would say.
- Yeah.
How was work? You ever heard of exercise after-burn? No.
It's when you do something vigorous and, despite having a shower, you proceed to perspire for an hour afterwards.
Down your face, through your shirt.
- Sounds attractive.
- Yeah.
And I have no doubt my clients thought so too.
Well, you got him off.
He should be kissing your feet.
I spent two hours bailing him out when things are insane at work.
What are you gonna do? Well, he'll have to make the first move, and I don't know what I'll say when he does.
Well, you'll forgive him? We are so mismatched.
And this whole thing, it's just It's obvious.
I don't get carried away.
I keep a cool head, and I do what's right.
He is a volcano.
Yeah, but that's a good thing.
You know, you're a balance.
He expects me to be this passionate woman.
What, the kind of woman that has sex in bushes after a wedding? Yes.
Her.
He expects me to be her, and I'm not her.
I don't know if I can be the woman he wants me to be.
And, actually, I don't even know if I wanna be that woman, and maybe that just means we need to say 'sayonara' in Portuguese.
Oh, that's Steve.
- Oh, um, I'll go.
- No, no, no.
No, that's fine.
I just I need to get my head clear before I hear from Carlos.
See ya.
Grace.
Don't worry.
I'm-I'm going.
I'll see you later.
Hi.
IV.
Beer.
Stat.
Oh, honey, don't I am not one of those guys that rides bikes to work.
It cost me 800 bucks plus a huge bonus.
What happened? The more I sweated, the more I choked.
It was disgusting.
And then this massive drop slid off my nose and landed splat on the contract right in front of the client.
They didn't sign and Jason gave me hell.
The client said I looked desperate.
Because you were sweating.
That's the problem.
I am actually desperate.
For money? To prove myself.
Everyone thinks I'm this high achiever.
The way Tom went on about it at the wedding But compared to the other guys in there, I'm not.
But you will be.
I just I don't know if I'm any good at this work.
Well, then, maybe you need to make a change.
You know, do something that actually makes you happy.
No, I'm not a quitter.
I'll ditch the job eventually but not until I've succeeded.
That is such man logic.
Yeah, superior logic.
I mean, I quit my job and we managed.
If you wanna quit yours, we can manage again.
This is pretty yuck.
I wasn't gonna say anything.
Why did you vote for my lasagne when you know I didn't cook it? Well, I couldn't let your brother win, could I? And you wouldn't let him know about the stool either.
What's what's the problem? Well, come on.
Steve.
Financial whiz-kid, self-made man.
I'm still the kid stealing money from his mum's purse.
No, you shouldn't compare yourself to Steve.
No, because he's paying off a mortgage and I still can't raise the rent.
You know, I love my brother, but he can be .
.
he can be so serious.
You know, I like your take on money much better.
Mm-hm, by my take, you mean have none, spend other people's.
Weird - this competitive thing with you and Steve.
Well, like I said before, it's a man thing.
A boy thing more like.
You know, I remember when you guys used to used to bet on everything.
"I bet you my lightsaber "I can do a wheelie for longer than you.
" - "I bet you" - That lightsaber.
"I bet you my Game Boy I can pee further than you.
" It used to drive me insane.
- It was pretty bad, huh? - Childish and pathetic.
Yeah.
Thank God that you grew up to be this honourable guy that has principles and ideals.
I admire you so much, Tom.
You don't have to compete with Steve anymore.
Hmm.
Harry said I could wait for you to get out of the shower.
Did he? He looked sufficiently sheepish to me.
- Harry, do you mind? - Not at all.
Oh.
You mean, "Why don't I make us a cup of soup?" Thank you.
I owe you for what you did and I will make it up to you.
I don't want you to make it up to me.
I believe in the law.
It may seem cold to you, but to me, it is rational, purposeful and it works.
It's who I am.
And I can't be in a relationship or or whatever this is with someone who doesn't understand that about me.
I respect that.
But what about the passion? Save it for the bedroom? I'm sorry for how I behaved.
It was wrong.
Classic tomato or hearty beef? So if you're not riding to work, does that mean I'm the only one back on this budget? Well, I was thinking about that and .
.
I wanna start catching the bus a few times a week.
You on a bus? I'll cut back on parking, petrol and tolls to build your waxing back into our budget because I love you and appreciate you.
You have never been more sexy.
Say that again.
I love you and appreciate you.
Oh, no, no.
Waxing's back.
Mm.
I love those smooth legs.
Mm.
Let me wrap them around you.
Carlos.
Querida.
I don't think that I'm the person that you think I am.
So you're not smart or funny or interesting or good at your job or beautiful? Well, yes, I'm all of those things.
Then you are the person I think you are.
Hey, do I recognise that T-shirt? Oh, yeah.
I, um I rescued it from your charity pile.
Did you now? I thought you wouldn't mind recycling.
It's got holes.
Kind of wabi-sabi.
Well, if I knew it looked that good, I never would have thrown it out.
I am woman Hear me roar In numbers too big to ignore And I know too much to go back and pretend 'Cause I've heard it all before And I've been down there on the floor No-one's ever gonna keep me down again Oh, yes I am wise But it's wisdom born of pain Yes, I've paid the price But look how much I've gained If I have to I can do anything - # I am strong - # Bo-dum-chee - # I am invincible - # Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-boo! I am woman.