Work in Progress (2019) s01e08 Episode Script
3, 2, 1
1 [NARRATOR.]
Previously on Work in Progress.
[ABBY.]
I'm gonna kill myself in 180 days if there's one almond left and I don't feel any better.
- I'm done.
- We should talk about your future.
You should just say, "Chris, I saw your dead name.
I didn't mean to, but I did.
" It's the not telling him that is now the problem.
I saw your dead name.
You're not honest about who you are.
You thought that the right thing to do was to lie to my face? [MELANIE.]
I can't do this anymore.
- Please.
- Don't follow me.
[ABBY.]
You said that you loved me, Melanie.
- [ABBY.]
Fuck.
No.
- [PAPER CRUMPLING.]
Fuck me.
Fuck.
Okay, no.
Okay, it was not May.
No, fuck you, it was on that was his birthday.
- Would've been more like - [RATTLING.]
[RATTLING CONTINUES.]
June-ish, it was June-ish, okay.
Mom's birthday was June 15th.
We went to New York.
That's It's Ah! Here it is.
Awesome.
Hello? Is anyone here? Hello, Abby.
[STAMMERS.]
Dr.
Franklin? Have a seat.
You're dead.
I know.
But, have a seat.
Okay.
I see you're still counting down almonds.
If you think this is a healthy coping mechanism, - I think you might be mistaken.
- You know about the almonds? I always wondered if you heard that before you died.
So Abby, talk to me about all of this.
Um, no, I know.
No, look, I do know what it looks like and what it is, but I'm just trying to figure something out.
- Yes? - I'm trying to figure out why I'm so broken and fucked up and why I just drove yet another person out of my life.
Does this seem like a healthy thing to do? No, but I guess also talking to my dead therapist in the middle of my fucking living room also isn't healthy and I'm doing that.
Then why do it? Because, dead Dr.
Franklin, I don't know what else to do.
My boyfriend Chris, I haven't seen him in days.
And I don't even know if I can still call him that.
And all he keeps saying is that he needs more time, - [PHONE CHIMES.]
- which would [SCOFFS.]
- - [TEXT ALERT.]
Who was that? Not Chris.
Abby.
We are done.
How are you feeling? I will fucking kill you again.
You need to talk about your feelings.
You know what you have to do? You need to take your fucking head - and shove it up your fucking - [INTERCOM BEEPS.]
You are so fucking lucky.
Hello? [ALISON.]
It's your sister.
What? Abby, buzz me up.
Aly, it is not a good time.
[SIGHS, MUTTERS.]
What the fuck am I even doing? I You can start by talking to a real person.
And delete this picture.
It's morbid.
It's time to move on.
Try a picture of a horse, or the beach or something.
Horses are pretty, they're kind.
[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN.]
Remind me why I gave you those keys again? Remember? If your apartment is burning, I can come in and save the family photo albums.
Taste of Heaven scones, mm-hmm.
Parking's a bitch on that block, so you are welcome.
Why are you even here, Aly? After the wedding, you said that you wanted to talk, which you never do.
And then you never called.
And then you won't return my calls, so I am here to tell you that whatever it is, it can't be that bad.
Oh, that's why you're here? To tell me that it can't be that bad? How about this, uh Remember Dad's wedding? Remember that really fun day? The day that we decided to fucking erase Mom from our lives? I saw Chris's dead name, and because your younger sister makes nothing but great choices, I didn't tell him for a week.
And then when I finally got up the guts to tell him, he disappeared, and I don't know where he is, I don't know when he's coming back, but I do know he's gonna break up with me because I made one mistake! Okay, I made two mistakes! I looked at his dead name, and then I held it back from him on purpose.
Fuck! - Abby, I - You know what? If you are searching for something meaningful to say, just don't.
I-I don't know what to say.
No, I know you don't.
So, you know what, you really don't have to stay.
You can just fucking leave.
No.
No.
I'm gonna stay, Okay? I'm gonna have you lay on that couch, I'm gonna make you something to eat, I'm gonna put you to bed and then you're gonna get a good night's sleep.
Okay? Who died and made you boss? Mom.
[CHUCKLES.]
Would you mind telling me, whose brain I did put in? And you won't be angry? - I will not be angry.
- [ALISON.]
Oh, my [LAUGHS.]
Abby someone.
Abby who? Abby Normal.
Do you do you remember when Mom used to call you that? - She loved this movie.
- Oh, she did.
[CHUCKLES.]
[IGOR IN MOVIE.]
I'm almost sure that was the name.
[CHUCKLES.]
Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long You really need to get a new therapist.
Oh, I know.
I talked to my dead one today.
- I was a fuckin' mess.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[DR.
FRANKENSTEIN IN MOVIE.]
Is that what you're telling me? [SOFTLY.]
It's okay.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh! [SLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS.]
Hour by hour, just get through the day.
[SOFTLY.]
You can do this.
[NORMAL VOLUME.]
Oh, my God, it's so good to see you! How are you? Ah, you look amazing.
I heard about that, it sounded like awesome times.
No, really, you rescued a dog? I'd love to meet your family and your friends.
Close enough.
Thank you so much.
- - [ABBY SCOFFS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God, I can't believe I did that without spilling.
I'm not what you call a steady walker.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
I guess straws are illegal now.
So, Abby, Abby, Abby.
Susan.
Susan, Susan.
Do you like where you're at? Usually when I'm here, I sit at a table by the window, but this table's okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're funny.
No, I mean, do you like what you're doing? At work? Sure.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Or even a year from now? Honestly, I don't know where I see myself tomorrow.
[MOANS SATISFYINGLY.]
I only allow myself to have one a week.
- Did I already tell you that? - Uh yeah, you did.
Few times.
So can I tell you where I see you in a year? Sure.
Working for us full-time.
No more temping.
We find you a position that utilizes all of your very specific quirks.
And and talents.
And if that job doesn't exist, we create it.
Abby, I don't wanna lose you.
I just keep sensing that you're one foot out the door.
- Actually, uh - [PHONE RINGS.]
- Oh, do you need to get that? - No, no, that's all right.
[EXHALES.]
[SUSAN.]
So.
I don't know what to say.
Well, how 'bout we meet on Monday and we start to dream-storm.
Really mind blast, brain excavate, and we'll come up with something.
Sure.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hey, do you mind if I get that? - Go ahead.
- All right, thanks.
[CAMPBELL.]
Help! I'm late for the opera, and I can't find my jewels.
[LAUGHS.]
That's your emergency? Yeah.
I'm a rich socialite who's gonna leave her husband tonight, - but he doesn't know it yet.
- Hey, you know what, it looks like I didn't even need saving from Susan after all.
What, the bitch from work? She might not even be a bitch, which is very confusing to me, but, uh, I might just even have gotten a promotion.
It's Wait, hold on one sec.
What? Oh, I was just saying I'll see you back at work.
- Okay.
- But don't dawdle, okay.
There's gonna be a surprise fire drill at two o'clock.
- I'm the Floor Marshal.
- Okay.
I'm sorry, my friend's having an emergency, okay.
I'm rich but in a loveless marriage! - Oh, your poor friend.
- Mmm.
Ugh.
Been there.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
See ya.
[CAMPBELL CHUCKLES.]
[ABBY.]
You're such a toolbox.
Hey, what are you doing tonight? Let me take you out, I'm rich! Thanks, but I have something I have to take care of, okay? But thank you.
[CAMPBELL.]
Okay, okay.
[POP MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO.]
[ABBY MUTTERS, SNIFFLES.]
[CUP CLANGS ON FLOOR.]
Hey.
Hey.
Ah, thanks for meeting me.
It's good to see you.
Yeah, it's good to see you too.
I got you a Miller Lite.
I see, thank you.
Actually, I don't drink Miller Lite anymore, I only like IPAs and craft beers and stuff.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just assumed you I'm Miller Lite ride or die.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, yeah.
- Assumed right, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So, well, how've you been? - [ABBY.]
Good.
- Good, yeah.
Yeah.
Um You're a social worker, I hear.
- Is that right? - Social work, yeah.
- Holy shit, that's so great.
- Yeah, for the last two years.
I gotta say, I was surprised to get your text.
I, uh gotta say I was surprised to send it.
Why did you send it? I I wanted to talk to you about us and I don't want you to freak out 'cause I'm not asking for you back.
But, um When you left, that destroyed me.
And I'm not here to blame you for that, I'm not blaming you for that, I'm trying to learn from it.
And, uh I'm dating this really great guy now, and I'm doing my best not to fuck it up.
And And I'm pretty sure I already did.
So, I wanted to talk to you so you could, maybe, help me figure out why this stuff keeps happening to me.
Abby, it's been eight years.
Why do you think it's okay to reach out and expect me to make you feel better? [SCOFFS.]
That's not what I'm doing, Melanie.
I'm trying to become a better partner to somebody.
And since you're the last person I was with, I thought you'd have some answers.
I Abby, I can't fix you.
I couldn't then, I can't now.
I'm here because you meant a lot to me, and I hated how it ended.
I was trying to imagine a way of us becoming something else to move on, but still, after all of these years, you've managed to make it all about you.
[SIGHS.]
[ABBY.]
I'm sorry.
[ABBY.]
No, no.
I'm sorry.
[STAMMERS.]
Let's not do this again in eight years.
Chardonnay for you, and one for you.
And then have we Sorry.
[MOUTHING.]
Abby.
Hi.
What are you doing here, Abby? Look, I just wanted to see you.
I know I fucked up.
I should have told you right away - when I saw it.
- Yeah, you should have.
I panicked and then I hid.
And you avoided the truth all together.
That seems to be a specialty of mine.
Look, Chris, I know you asked for space.
Do you know that? Because if you did, you wouldn't be here right now.
Look, I just need you to hear this because I think it'll help you understand where Understand what? What is it I am not understanding? I'm trying to make things better, can't you see that? Chris, I am fucking freaking out, and if I just knew where we stood, it would really help me because I just Because we're operating on your timetable? Look, I'm sorry, but you don't get to control this.
No, that's not that's not what I'm doing, okay? I have one almond left, Chris, and if Abby, those almonds are completely arbitrary.
- They mean nothing.
- They mean everything, and if you would just fucking understand that, okay? - I need to know where we are - Abby! [DOOR OPENS.]
[KING.]
Chris.
[ABBY.]
Chris, please.
- Look.
- Please.
- Look.
- Let's just I have to go.
I'm just asking for more time.
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
[KISS.]
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYS.]
Show me the best that you got And I'll show you one better Show me your reddest rose And I'll show you one redder Tell me your dirty joke And I'll laugh it off lightly If I tell you a dirty joke You might not like me Everyone gets to make One big mistake And if you're waiting on me Well I guess you gonna have to wait Time timing is everything - [SLICE.]
- If you've got nothin' But time I got nothin' but time And a lie don't mean nothin' If nobody knows when you're lying Lie when you lie So lie when you do Lie when you don't Lie when you didn't Lie till you lie, lie, lie, lie They're wonderin' If anybody else is lying [MIRIAM.]
Yeah, that's her.
What a tragedy.
But it looks like she's down about three point six pounds.
And if you're waiting on me Well, I guess you're gonna have to wait [PHONE CHIMES.]
'Cause I'm saving mine up for a very, very special day Fuck's sake! What do I need to do not to order a Lyft share? When I can fuck it all up In the most spectacular way Everyone gets to make one big mistake Mistake, mistake, mistake mistake, mistake, mistake And I can fuck it all up In the most spectacular way [SIGHS.]
[SLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO.]
Can I get you anything else? Uh yeah, actually, could I have some more napkins - and another soda water? - Yeah.
- That'd be great, thanks.
- Yeah.
[SERVER.]
There's that.
[ABBY SIGHS.]
- [SERVER.]
Here you go.
- Thanks.
- [SNIFFLES.]
- [MAN MUTTERS SOFTLY.]
[SERVER, SOFTLY.]
Yeah.
Miller Lite.
I didn't order that.
Gentleman at the end of the bar did.
Looked like you needed one.
Thanks, man.
Cheers.
[MAN SIGHS.]
[ABBY SIGHS.]
How did you know I drank Miller Lite? [CHUCKLES.]
Y-You're kidding.
As much as you go on about the stuff, I thought you might've worked for 'em.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- That's fair.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
- - [SCOFFS.]
[MUTTERS.]
- - [SCOFFS.]
Idiot.
[SNIFFLES.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
- Hey, Julia.
- [JULIA.]
Hey Abby, are you still coming? Yeah, I'm here actually.
Oh, good.
I'm really excited to see you - and for you to see the story.
- Yeah, me too.
It's gonna be really fun.
Thank you for having me.
Hey, I'm gonna sneak out the stage door to see you.
No, why don't you don't don't do that, okay? I'll just see you after.
Don't go to that trouble.
No, I want you to see before the rest of the world.
Your friendship means so much to me.
So just head down Lawrence, down to the alley.
There's gonna be a stage door.
All right, I'll see you in a minute.
- I'll be out in a second.
- All right.
[KNOCKS.]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[JULIA.]
Abby, you're here! Julia.
- You're dressed as - As Pat.
Why? Wh-Why are you dressed as Pat? Wh It's for the piece.
Julia, I've told you over and over - that Pat ruined my life.
- I know.
I hear you.
It was a hurtful character, I know now that I got it wrong.
Then why are you standing in front of me in high-waisted khakis and this pillow muffin top? Because we're taking it back.
Everyone thought that the joke about Pat was that you didn't know if it was a man or a woman.
But we're bringing Pat back to make it clear that Pat has evolved.
Pat is no longer oblivious to other people's discomfort.
Pat has become aware.
- Aware? - Yes.
But get this Abby, Pat doesn't care what other people think.
[SNICKERS.]
Pat walks through life with pride, with a smile on, and doesn't give two fricks what the haters say.
What do you think, Abby? - I fixed Pat.
- No.
No, Julia, I don't want you to fix Pat.
I want you to bury Pat.
You've got your whole career from a character that makes my life the butt of a joke.
No, Abby.
We're reclaiming Pat.
Stop saying "we"! - Who is we? - You and me! You opened my eyes and showed me what it's like to have dignity and just owning who you are.
I think Pat could be a progressive icon.
Hey, it's Pat! [LAUGHS.]
Love it.
[SQUEALS.]
[LAUGHS.]
You're on in five.
Julia, that guy gives zero fucks about Pat's "internal strength.
" He's still laughing at the same crap that everybody's been laughing at forever.
Tell me you see that.
Well he hasn't seen the piece yet.
The jokes that I've prepared for "Woke Pat" are really tastefully done.
Julia, I love you, but if you do this show, you are giving everyone in that theater a pass to laugh at something they are too lazy to understand.
No, Abby.
You showed me that No, Julia you can't make one dyke friend and expect them to lead you through the world of gender like a Queer Sacagawea.
Which is, in itself, a very problematic reference! Fuck! I-I was just trying to help.
Hey, in the future, why don't you ask me? Why don't you come talk to me? Don't make decisions for me, okay, Julia? This is not about you.
Abby.
What? I'm on in two minutes.
[SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
Fuck.
Lookin' out For something golden along the way [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
To keep the sea at bay Anything to concentrate Hey.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Julia invited me.
Actually, I'm not going in there.
I'm not going to the show either.
I just came to see you.
No, not now, not today.
- I just need to - Wait, Chris.
No, not now.
- I'm out of almonds, please.
- Please listen to me.
Chris, please.
I adore you.
I do.
- You know that.
- Please don't do this.
But I just can't be this thing that keeps you going.
You're not a thing.
- You know what I mean.
- I don't.
I am just trying to figure out what I need, and [STAMMERS.]
you're too Old? Fat, loud, needy, insecure, what? [CHRIS.]
Too much.
For me.
This is too much.
What is this? I just can't be all the things that you need me to be.
Chris, I love you.
You know I love you.
I love you so much, I'm so sorry.
- I love you, too.
- No.
But I just can't anymore.
Please don't.
What are you doing? No, don't.
Bye, Abby.
Don't, what are you doing? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
[BLEEP.]
Why did you do that? I wanted you to feel as broken as I feel.
Abby, no one will ever feel as broken as you do.
I wish I could take it back.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
You know that I'm sorry.
Please, just read the card.
Please.
[SOLEMN PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
Stay the riot of your heart I know this is how it fades Evermore and away Evermore and away I know this is how it fades How it fades How it fades
Previously on Work in Progress.
[ABBY.]
I'm gonna kill myself in 180 days if there's one almond left and I don't feel any better.
- I'm done.
- We should talk about your future.
You should just say, "Chris, I saw your dead name.
I didn't mean to, but I did.
" It's the not telling him that is now the problem.
I saw your dead name.
You're not honest about who you are.
You thought that the right thing to do was to lie to my face? [MELANIE.]
I can't do this anymore.
- Please.
- Don't follow me.
[ABBY.]
You said that you loved me, Melanie.
- [ABBY.]
Fuck.
No.
- [PAPER CRUMPLING.]
Fuck me.
Fuck.
Okay, no.
Okay, it was not May.
No, fuck you, it was on that was his birthday.
- Would've been more like - [RATTLING.]
[RATTLING CONTINUES.]
June-ish, it was June-ish, okay.
Mom's birthday was June 15th.
We went to New York.
That's It's Ah! Here it is.
Awesome.
Hello? Is anyone here? Hello, Abby.
[STAMMERS.]
Dr.
Franklin? Have a seat.
You're dead.
I know.
But, have a seat.
Okay.
I see you're still counting down almonds.
If you think this is a healthy coping mechanism, - I think you might be mistaken.
- You know about the almonds? I always wondered if you heard that before you died.
So Abby, talk to me about all of this.
Um, no, I know.
No, look, I do know what it looks like and what it is, but I'm just trying to figure something out.
- Yes? - I'm trying to figure out why I'm so broken and fucked up and why I just drove yet another person out of my life.
Does this seem like a healthy thing to do? No, but I guess also talking to my dead therapist in the middle of my fucking living room also isn't healthy and I'm doing that.
Then why do it? Because, dead Dr.
Franklin, I don't know what else to do.
My boyfriend Chris, I haven't seen him in days.
And I don't even know if I can still call him that.
And all he keeps saying is that he needs more time, - [PHONE CHIMES.]
- which would [SCOFFS.]
- - [TEXT ALERT.]
Who was that? Not Chris.
Abby.
We are done.
How are you feeling? I will fucking kill you again.
You need to talk about your feelings.
You know what you have to do? You need to take your fucking head - and shove it up your fucking - [INTERCOM BEEPS.]
You are so fucking lucky.
Hello? [ALISON.]
It's your sister.
What? Abby, buzz me up.
Aly, it is not a good time.
[SIGHS, MUTTERS.]
What the fuck am I even doing? I You can start by talking to a real person.
And delete this picture.
It's morbid.
It's time to move on.
Try a picture of a horse, or the beach or something.
Horses are pretty, they're kind.
[DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN.]
Remind me why I gave you those keys again? Remember? If your apartment is burning, I can come in and save the family photo albums.
Taste of Heaven scones, mm-hmm.
Parking's a bitch on that block, so you are welcome.
Why are you even here, Aly? After the wedding, you said that you wanted to talk, which you never do.
And then you never called.
And then you won't return my calls, so I am here to tell you that whatever it is, it can't be that bad.
Oh, that's why you're here? To tell me that it can't be that bad? How about this, uh Remember Dad's wedding? Remember that really fun day? The day that we decided to fucking erase Mom from our lives? I saw Chris's dead name, and because your younger sister makes nothing but great choices, I didn't tell him for a week.
And then when I finally got up the guts to tell him, he disappeared, and I don't know where he is, I don't know when he's coming back, but I do know he's gonna break up with me because I made one mistake! Okay, I made two mistakes! I looked at his dead name, and then I held it back from him on purpose.
Fuck! - Abby, I - You know what? If you are searching for something meaningful to say, just don't.
I-I don't know what to say.
No, I know you don't.
So, you know what, you really don't have to stay.
You can just fucking leave.
No.
No.
I'm gonna stay, Okay? I'm gonna have you lay on that couch, I'm gonna make you something to eat, I'm gonna put you to bed and then you're gonna get a good night's sleep.
Okay? Who died and made you boss? Mom.
[CHUCKLES.]
Would you mind telling me, whose brain I did put in? And you won't be angry? - I will not be angry.
- [ALISON.]
Oh, my [LAUGHS.]
Abby someone.
Abby who? Abby Normal.
Do you do you remember when Mom used to call you that? - She loved this movie.
- Oh, she did.
[CHUCKLES.]
[IGOR IN MOVIE.]
I'm almost sure that was the name.
[CHUCKLES.]
Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long You really need to get a new therapist.
Oh, I know.
I talked to my dead one today.
- I was a fuckin' mess.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[DR.
FRANKENSTEIN IN MOVIE.]
Is that what you're telling me? [SOFTLY.]
It's okay.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh! [SLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS.]
Hour by hour, just get through the day.
[SOFTLY.]
You can do this.
[NORMAL VOLUME.]
Oh, my God, it's so good to see you! How are you? Ah, you look amazing.
I heard about that, it sounded like awesome times.
No, really, you rescued a dog? I'd love to meet your family and your friends.
Close enough.
Thank you so much.
- - [ABBY SCOFFS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God, I can't believe I did that without spilling.
I'm not what you call a steady walker.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
I guess straws are illegal now.
So, Abby, Abby, Abby.
Susan.
Susan, Susan.
Do you like where you're at? Usually when I'm here, I sit at a table by the window, but this table's okay.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're funny.
No, I mean, do you like what you're doing? At work? Sure.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Or even a year from now? Honestly, I don't know where I see myself tomorrow.
[MOANS SATISFYINGLY.]
I only allow myself to have one a week.
- Did I already tell you that? - Uh yeah, you did.
Few times.
So can I tell you where I see you in a year? Sure.
Working for us full-time.
No more temping.
We find you a position that utilizes all of your very specific quirks.
And and talents.
And if that job doesn't exist, we create it.
Abby, I don't wanna lose you.
I just keep sensing that you're one foot out the door.
- Actually, uh - [PHONE RINGS.]
- Oh, do you need to get that? - No, no, that's all right.
[EXHALES.]
[SUSAN.]
So.
I don't know what to say.
Well, how 'bout we meet on Monday and we start to dream-storm.
Really mind blast, brain excavate, and we'll come up with something.
Sure.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hey, do you mind if I get that? - Go ahead.
- All right, thanks.
[CAMPBELL.]
Help! I'm late for the opera, and I can't find my jewels.
[LAUGHS.]
That's your emergency? Yeah.
I'm a rich socialite who's gonna leave her husband tonight, - but he doesn't know it yet.
- Hey, you know what, it looks like I didn't even need saving from Susan after all.
What, the bitch from work? She might not even be a bitch, which is very confusing to me, but, uh, I might just even have gotten a promotion.
It's Wait, hold on one sec.
What? Oh, I was just saying I'll see you back at work.
- Okay.
- But don't dawdle, okay.
There's gonna be a surprise fire drill at two o'clock.
- I'm the Floor Marshal.
- Okay.
I'm sorry, my friend's having an emergency, okay.
I'm rich but in a loveless marriage! - Oh, your poor friend.
- Mmm.
Ugh.
Been there.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
See ya.
[CAMPBELL CHUCKLES.]
[ABBY.]
You're such a toolbox.
Hey, what are you doing tonight? Let me take you out, I'm rich! Thanks, but I have something I have to take care of, okay? But thank you.
[CAMPBELL.]
Okay, okay.
[POP MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO.]
[ABBY MUTTERS, SNIFFLES.]
[CUP CLANGS ON FLOOR.]
Hey.
Hey.
Ah, thanks for meeting me.
It's good to see you.
Yeah, it's good to see you too.
I got you a Miller Lite.
I see, thank you.
Actually, I don't drink Miller Lite anymore, I only like IPAs and craft beers and stuff.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just assumed you I'm Miller Lite ride or die.
[LAUGHS.]
Yeah, yeah.
- Assumed right, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So, well, how've you been? - [ABBY.]
Good.
- Good, yeah.
Yeah.
Um You're a social worker, I hear.
- Is that right? - Social work, yeah.
- Holy shit, that's so great.
- Yeah, for the last two years.
I gotta say, I was surprised to get your text.
I, uh gotta say I was surprised to send it.
Why did you send it? I I wanted to talk to you about us and I don't want you to freak out 'cause I'm not asking for you back.
But, um When you left, that destroyed me.
And I'm not here to blame you for that, I'm not blaming you for that, I'm trying to learn from it.
And, uh I'm dating this really great guy now, and I'm doing my best not to fuck it up.
And And I'm pretty sure I already did.
So, I wanted to talk to you so you could, maybe, help me figure out why this stuff keeps happening to me.
Abby, it's been eight years.
Why do you think it's okay to reach out and expect me to make you feel better? [SCOFFS.]
That's not what I'm doing, Melanie.
I'm trying to become a better partner to somebody.
And since you're the last person I was with, I thought you'd have some answers.
I Abby, I can't fix you.
I couldn't then, I can't now.
I'm here because you meant a lot to me, and I hated how it ended.
I was trying to imagine a way of us becoming something else to move on, but still, after all of these years, you've managed to make it all about you.
[SIGHS.]
[ABBY.]
I'm sorry.
[ABBY.]
No, no.
I'm sorry.
[STAMMERS.]
Let's not do this again in eight years.
Chardonnay for you, and one for you.
And then have we Sorry.
[MOUTHING.]
Abby.
Hi.
What are you doing here, Abby? Look, I just wanted to see you.
I know I fucked up.
I should have told you right away - when I saw it.
- Yeah, you should have.
I panicked and then I hid.
And you avoided the truth all together.
That seems to be a specialty of mine.
Look, Chris, I know you asked for space.
Do you know that? Because if you did, you wouldn't be here right now.
Look, I just need you to hear this because I think it'll help you understand where Understand what? What is it I am not understanding? I'm trying to make things better, can't you see that? Chris, I am fucking freaking out, and if I just knew where we stood, it would really help me because I just Because we're operating on your timetable? Look, I'm sorry, but you don't get to control this.
No, that's not that's not what I'm doing, okay? I have one almond left, Chris, and if Abby, those almonds are completely arbitrary.
- They mean nothing.
- They mean everything, and if you would just fucking understand that, okay? - I need to know where we are - Abby! [DOOR OPENS.]
[KING.]
Chris.
[ABBY.]
Chris, please.
- Look.
- Please.
- Look.
- Let's just I have to go.
I'm just asking for more time.
[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
[KISS.]
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYS.]
Show me the best that you got And I'll show you one better Show me your reddest rose And I'll show you one redder Tell me your dirty joke And I'll laugh it off lightly If I tell you a dirty joke You might not like me Everyone gets to make One big mistake And if you're waiting on me Well I guess you gonna have to wait Time timing is everything - [SLICE.]
- If you've got nothin' But time I got nothin' but time And a lie don't mean nothin' If nobody knows when you're lying Lie when you lie So lie when you do Lie when you don't Lie when you didn't Lie till you lie, lie, lie, lie They're wonderin' If anybody else is lying [MIRIAM.]
Yeah, that's her.
What a tragedy.
But it looks like she's down about three point six pounds.
And if you're waiting on me Well, I guess you're gonna have to wait [PHONE CHIMES.]
'Cause I'm saving mine up for a very, very special day Fuck's sake! What do I need to do not to order a Lyft share? When I can fuck it all up In the most spectacular way Everyone gets to make one big mistake Mistake, mistake, mistake mistake, mistake, mistake And I can fuck it all up In the most spectacular way [SIGHS.]
[SLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO.]
Can I get you anything else? Uh yeah, actually, could I have some more napkins - and another soda water? - Yeah.
- That'd be great, thanks.
- Yeah.
[SERVER.]
There's that.
[ABBY SIGHS.]
- [SERVER.]
Here you go.
- Thanks.
- [SNIFFLES.]
- [MAN MUTTERS SOFTLY.]
[SERVER, SOFTLY.]
Yeah.
Miller Lite.
I didn't order that.
Gentleman at the end of the bar did.
Looked like you needed one.
Thanks, man.
Cheers.
[MAN SIGHS.]
[ABBY SIGHS.]
How did you know I drank Miller Lite? [CHUCKLES.]
Y-You're kidding.
As much as you go on about the stuff, I thought you might've worked for 'em.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- That's fair.
[PHONE CHIMES.]
- - [SCOFFS.]
[MUTTERS.]
- - [SCOFFS.]
Idiot.
[SNIFFLES.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
- Hey, Julia.
- [JULIA.]
Hey Abby, are you still coming? Yeah, I'm here actually.
Oh, good.
I'm really excited to see you - and for you to see the story.
- Yeah, me too.
It's gonna be really fun.
Thank you for having me.
Hey, I'm gonna sneak out the stage door to see you.
No, why don't you don't don't do that, okay? I'll just see you after.
Don't go to that trouble.
No, I want you to see before the rest of the world.
Your friendship means so much to me.
So just head down Lawrence, down to the alley.
There's gonna be a stage door.
All right, I'll see you in a minute.
- I'll be out in a second.
- All right.
[KNOCKS.]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[JULIA.]
Abby, you're here! Julia.
- You're dressed as - As Pat.
Why? Wh-Why are you dressed as Pat? Wh It's for the piece.
Julia, I've told you over and over - that Pat ruined my life.
- I know.
I hear you.
It was a hurtful character, I know now that I got it wrong.
Then why are you standing in front of me in high-waisted khakis and this pillow muffin top? Because we're taking it back.
Everyone thought that the joke about Pat was that you didn't know if it was a man or a woman.
But we're bringing Pat back to make it clear that Pat has evolved.
Pat is no longer oblivious to other people's discomfort.
Pat has become aware.
- Aware? - Yes.
But get this Abby, Pat doesn't care what other people think.
[SNICKERS.]
Pat walks through life with pride, with a smile on, and doesn't give two fricks what the haters say.
What do you think, Abby? - I fixed Pat.
- No.
No, Julia, I don't want you to fix Pat.
I want you to bury Pat.
You've got your whole career from a character that makes my life the butt of a joke.
No, Abby.
We're reclaiming Pat.
Stop saying "we"! - Who is we? - You and me! You opened my eyes and showed me what it's like to have dignity and just owning who you are.
I think Pat could be a progressive icon.
Hey, it's Pat! [LAUGHS.]
Love it.
[SQUEALS.]
[LAUGHS.]
You're on in five.
Julia, that guy gives zero fucks about Pat's "internal strength.
" He's still laughing at the same crap that everybody's been laughing at forever.
Tell me you see that.
Well he hasn't seen the piece yet.
The jokes that I've prepared for "Woke Pat" are really tastefully done.
Julia, I love you, but if you do this show, you are giving everyone in that theater a pass to laugh at something they are too lazy to understand.
No, Abby.
You showed me that No, Julia you can't make one dyke friend and expect them to lead you through the world of gender like a Queer Sacagawea.
Which is, in itself, a very problematic reference! Fuck! I-I was just trying to help.
Hey, in the future, why don't you ask me? Why don't you come talk to me? Don't make decisions for me, okay, Julia? This is not about you.
Abby.
What? I'm on in two minutes.
[SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
Fuck.
Lookin' out For something golden along the way [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
To keep the sea at bay Anything to concentrate Hey.
Hi.
What are you doing here? Julia invited me.
Actually, I'm not going in there.
I'm not going to the show either.
I just came to see you.
No, not now, not today.
- I just need to - Wait, Chris.
No, not now.
- I'm out of almonds, please.
- Please listen to me.
Chris, please.
I adore you.
I do.
- You know that.
- Please don't do this.
But I just can't be this thing that keeps you going.
You're not a thing.
- You know what I mean.
- I don't.
I am just trying to figure out what I need, and [STAMMERS.]
you're too Old? Fat, loud, needy, insecure, what? [CHRIS.]
Too much.
For me.
This is too much.
What is this? I just can't be all the things that you need me to be.
Chris, I love you.
You know I love you.
I love you so much, I'm so sorry.
- I love you, too.
- No.
But I just can't anymore.
Please don't.
What are you doing? No, don't.
Bye, Abby.
Don't, what are you doing? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
[BLEEP.]
Why did you do that? I wanted you to feel as broken as I feel.
Abby, no one will ever feel as broken as you do.
I wish I could take it back.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
You know that I'm sorry.
Please, just read the card.
Please.
[SOLEMN PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
Stay the riot of your heart I know this is how it fades Evermore and away Evermore and away I know this is how it fades How it fades How it fades