Working Class (2011) s01e08 Episode Script

Bye, kids.
Have a great day at school.
And remember, it's flu season, so flush with your feet.
[sighs.]
It is Carli time.
Yes, yes, yes.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Let's see who's in rehab this week.
[Hank.]
You left gauge marks.
[Nick.]
God, they were barely touching.
Oh, as if you don't know.
I gotta talk to you.
- What? You know what? You left your sprinklers on knowing full well that my car windows were open, and now my bag is soaked.
A man shouldn't carry a purse.
It's not a purse.
It's a messenger bag.
And the message is "I carry a purse.
" His tires were on my lawn.
By an inch.
A border's a border, and it needs to be respected.
- We know, Hank.
- Yeah? We've seen your bumper stickers.
- Yeah? - And your yard sign.
- Yeah? - And, unfortunately, your tattoo.
Great.
Then we're building a fence between our properties.
Uh, no no no.
No, Hank.
If I could afford a fence, I wouldn't be wearing underwear older than my kids.
Well, older than Will.
- Huh? - And Pam.
I don't need your money.
I've worked hard all my life.
You ought to try it.
- I'm in college.
- Yeah, community college.
You're at least 40.
- I'm 33! - Uh-huh, you see? Lies about his age and carries a purse.
Just like a woman.
Yeah.
Anyway, I don't need your money to build a fence.
I just need some help with the labor.
Okay, fine.
If it'll make you happy, Nick will help you build a fence.
- What?? - Yeah, help.
I got some gloves that will go with that purse, by the way.
Working Class 1x08 - Wine Pairing Original airdate March 11, 2011 Here's your cheese platter.
Enjoy your party.
And your visit to the cardiologist.
[laughs.]
Rachel, wait.
Rob, enough.
I don't have time for this.
Looks like trouble in paradise.
Let's hope.
They work it out.
She's in a hurry.
Running late for book club.
Book club.
If it was me, I'd be running the other way.
You know, books, ugh.
[laughs.]
So can you recommend a wine to go with the cheese? Um, my wine recommendation is drink it before you eat.
Quicker buzz.
Uh, a nice sparkling Vouvray would go lovely with your Chevre and Roquefort.
And check out those boxes of Chablis.
That easy-carry handle is a real nice touch.
- Thank you.
- I'll ring you up.
- Carli.
- Mm-hmm? It might be a good idea for you to learn how to pair wines.
What's to learn? I pair mine with a coffee mug and I'm good to go.
Actually, I think our customers are looking for a little more specificity.
Okay.
My Garfield coffee mug.
Because I also hate Mondays.
What are you doing tonight? Um There's a wine expo in town.
I think it'd be a great learning opportunity.
Would you like to go with me? All I heard was blah blah blah wine tonight.
- I'm in! - Great, let's do it.
Wine? Tonight? Do it? I'm definitely in.
Oh, gah-yah! What are you doing here? You scared me.
Right back at you.
What is all this? And is that for waxing your Yes, Nick.
I have the tiniest whisper of a hint of a mustache, okay? And if you tell anyone about this, I will show everybody that picture of you playing the flute in high school.
- I was into Jethro Tull.
- Yeah, a little too much.
Okay.
Now, aren't you supposed to be over at Hank's building a fence or something? I am, but I had to go to the store to get brackets and screws and glue.
Ooh, glue.
I need some for my fake nails.
I'm out.
It's wood glue.
I use shoe polish as bronzer.
I'm past proud.
What is all this stuff anyway? This is team Carli.
And it doesn't fit in the bathroom when I roll it out.
I'm going to a wine tasting with Rob.
Oh, a wine tasting, huh? So Rob finally decided to make his move.
It's not a date, Nick.
He just wants me to learn about wine.
Oh.
Well then, why isn't he bringing his girlfriend? I don't know.
They were fighting earlier.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah.
Fighting with the girlfriend? Asking you to a booze-fueled event? Next thing you know, you're back at work and he's like, "Hey.
" And you're like, "Hey.
" Yeah.
I mean, it's like he's taking a page out of my own playbook.
He has been hanging around the cafe a lot more lately.
You know, just-just chatting.
Ah, chapter 1 Chatting it up.
And, you know, he didn't have to ask me to go with him tonight, he could have just told me - to get a book about wine - No.
Chapter 4 Working it.
You know what? The other day, he blushed when he told me my muffins looked fresh.
Oh, chapter 6 Muffins and Blushing.
[grunts.]
Trust me, it's a date.
You know what,Nick? You might be right.
Oh, yeah.
And if this is my only shot with Rob, you know what, I gotta bring out the big guns.
Where are Hah.
Meet Wynonna and Naomi.
Or as I like to call them, the Juggs.
Go get him, girls.
All right.
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
- Wow! - Am I dressed okay? I mean, I know you said business attire, but I didn't think you'd want me to show up here wearing a uniform - that smells like egg salad.
- Oh.
- No.
You look great.
- Thanks.
I thought we might start with a nice Pouilly Fuissé.
Ooh.
Pouilly Fuissé.
That sounds French for "out of my price range.
" [laughs.]
Oh.
Actually, How about a Chardonnay? Oh, sure.
Mm-hmm.
Um [sniffs.]
Hmm.
When do we drink it? - Oh.
Now.
- Okay.
- Ah.
- Mm.
Me likey.
Spicy.
Full-bodied.
Nice legs.
Thank you.
[laughs.]
Oh.
Ah, thank you.
You know what, wait just I don't want it to be lonely.
Oh.
I usually wait to eat until after I am safely in the dress.
Oh, hey, would you excuse me a minute? I just want to go place a quick order.
- Oh, of course.
- Great.
I'll just keep working my way down the line.
It'll be like that progressive party after high school graduation, except this time hopefully I won't end up pregnant.
- Excuse me - Kidding! So not kidding.
Hey, community college boy.
The rule is measure twice, cut once.
Especially during battlefield amputations.
I'm I know what I'm doing, all right? I used to build the sets for the theater department in high school.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Yeah.
I built the entire set for Brigadoon and the drama teacher's still using it 15 years later.
Brigadoon, huh? Let me tell you someth No, Hank! I don't need another lecture about what a sissy you think I am.
Or how my generation is too soft.
Or how I've never used a torso as a flotation device.
All right? I am happy not being some emotionally shut down, bitter old dinosaur.
I was gonna tell you that Brigadoon is one of my favorite movies.
I'm a big Gene Kelly fan.
Really? - Me too.
- Oh? Yeah, look at that.
We actually agree on something.
I guess we do.
How about that? And by the way, torsos don't float.
Wow.
You know, this is great, Carli.
- Yeah! - Just hanging out and having fun.
Hanging out and having fun.
[both laugh.]
Yeah.
Um, so, why isn't Rachel here tonight? Well, you saw us today.
You know, we've been fighting lately.
Well, I know what that's like.
I mean, of course, your fights probably don't end up with one of you being driven away in the backseat of a police car, banging on the window.
You know? "My mother was right!" And that was the good divorce.
[both laugh.]
You know what, I'm sorry, Carli.
You didn't need to come out here and listen to my relationship problems.
Oh, no, no, Rob.
I don't mind it at all.
I mean, I haven't exactly been shy, you know, talking about my personal life.
I mean, hello, did you really need to hear about how I gave birth to Will at the State Fair Moon Bounce? But I like the part where the umbilical cord gets cut by the shaved ice guy.
That's how Will got his middle name.
Limoncello.
You're a little flush.
You all right? Oh.
It's probably the red wine.
Yeah, I get like that sometimes.
Um, anyway, so you were saying something about you and Rachel.
Oh, right, right, right.
Well, you know, I don't know.
We're just not on the same page anymore.
[clears throat.]
Sorry, just got a tickle.
Just a little tickle.
Um, you know, this may not be my place to say this, but sometimes you just have to be honest about the little things that are bothering you, you know? [clears throat.]
You all right? Fine.
I mean, that's just been my experience.
I mean, for what it's worth, anyway.
No, no, no, no, it's worth a lot.
[clears throat.]
You know, Carli, I'm really glad that you decided to come out tonight.
Me too.
[clears throat.]
- Are you sure you're okay? - Yeah.
All right, here.
Have some water.
Just a little [coughs.]
Thank you.
That's probably a good idea.
Mm.
- Better? - Yeah.
It's just my throat got a little itchy.
You know? I'm a little allergic to crab.
You don't think that's what was in those appetizers, do you? You mean the crab cakes? Oh, no.
Um, oh, no.
[clears throat.]
Oh, God, it's gonna get worse.
- Oh my God, I can't breathe.
- Is there a doctor here? [clears throat.]
Haaaaah.
Um, bend over, here you go.
[coughs.]
[retches.]
How you feeling now? The cold washcloth really helps.
Good.
That antihistamine must be kicking in.
What? No no no, it's nothing.
That is the most unusual rash.
It's not a rash.
I waxed my mustache and I covered it with makeup.
The tiniest hint of a whisper of a shadow, really.
Just so Ugh.
You two can just stay here and relax.
Um - Carli, I don't think you have anything - All right, Rob.
I am not classy or sophisticated.
Okay? I have a mustache.
I wear cheap fake nails, okay? And after three kids, my boobs have gone south for the winter, and I don't think they're coming back.
So I am a mess.
And now you know it.
Well, I think it's kind of endearing.
Well, you're sweet, but obviously drunk.
No.
I think you're perfect.
Just the way you are.
Please.
You are perfect.
You're like a Ken doll.
I'm far from perfect.
Well, you should've seen me last week.
Something really embarrassing happened to me.
What? You got into the wrong Mercedes at the valet? - Because I'm not impressed.
- No.
I was in a charity round of golf with Ted Koppel.
And I'm nervous, you know, because it is Ted Koppel.
- Well, of course.
- Right.
So I'm on the first tee, and I take this giant backswing because I want to impress Ted.
So I get to the top of my swing, and my pants split wide open.
- Oh my God.
- It gets worse.
I was going commando.
And you could see the whole fairway.
You go commando? My luggage got lost on the flight.
They don't sell boxers in the clubhouse.
Oh my God, what I wouldn't give to see a picture of that.
Is there a picture of that? I'm kidding.
Well, sort of.
But thank you.
Don't thank me.
Thank Ted Koppel.
So Shall we? You bet.
Is it really that bad? No.
No one will notice a thing.
Okay.
Yeah, American in Paris was good, but On the Town is definitely classic Gene Kelly.
Well, I mean, they're all classics.
I don't even mind Xanadu.
I'm I mean as a joke.
And, you know, it's no Singin' in the Rain.
Nothing is.
You know, you might be interested to know that I did my share of song and dance in my day.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
- You're kidding.
- No.
USO, after my active duty.
I soft-shoed my way through Saigon, tapped my way through the Tet Offensive.
Hank, I'm impressed.
Let me tell you, the only thing harder than splinting your own leg with a rifle is trying to follow Ann-Margret.
I had a lot of good times.
Yeah.
I had a lot of good times.
Hank, I have to apologize for calling you an emotionally shut down, bitter old dinosaur.
Ah, it's all right.
You're really not that bitter.
[laughs.]
That's the first time you made me laugh that had nothing to do with what you were wearing.
- Well, that's progress.
- Yeah.
[grunts.]
You know, we might even be able to share a beer sometime.
Don't press your luck.
Hey.
Hey.
Were you waiting for me? Yeah.
I just couldn't stop thinking about last night when I got home.
Really? Me too.
- Um, I had a great time.
- Oh, so did I.
Good! And I thought a lot about what you said.
- About me and Rachel.
- Really? Mm-hmm.
And I realized that you were absolutely right.
That I had to be honest with her.
- You did? - Mm-hmm.
So I told her that it wasn't working for me.
Wow.
And she said she felt the same way.
Wow.
I know I already said that, but And I probably shouldn't be smiling.
No, no.
- It's a good thing.
- Oh, it's a very good thing.
She said that she felt that I wasn't as committed as she was.
That I was pulling away.
I told her I was pulling away because I thought she was so unhappy.
- Right Right! - So we mutually decided that there really was only one thing we could do.
Yeah? Move in together.
I mean, it became so clear to us that we needed to both commit in order to make it work.
So we're looking at places this afternoon.
It never would have happened if we weren't both honest.
So thank you for your advice.
That was my advice? You are so welcome.
- Rob? - Huh? - Thanks, Carli.
- Mm-hmm.
You're a really good friend, Carli.
Yep, that's me.
Real buddy.
See you around, pal.
So what do we got here? Ooh, green tea and bread.
Someone's getting crazy.
Well, I'm glad that's done.
The only downside is it'll take a week for my basement to air out from your perfume.
It's not perfume.
- Yeah? - It's essential oil.
[blows raspberry.]
The only essential oil is WD-40, pal.
Hank, what are you snapping at me for? I thought we had a breakthrough building that fence.
What are you talking about? Oh, I get it.
Oh, you don't like to show your soft side.
Well, guess what.
I know it's there.
And I think it's great.
You do? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
I like that Hank.
If you tell anyone about that Hank, this Hank will hunt you down and kill you.