Angel s01e09 Episode Script

We fade up on an aerial shot, Downtown skyscrapers, lights yadda, yadda, We hear a famous narrator maybe that bald Star Trek guy or one of the Baldwins, And he says, "It's a big, bad city out there, " Cut to a woman walking down a dark, spooky street, alone, We'll cast some beautiful, young actress, A starlet whose career is on the verge of taking off, Anyway, she's all nervous, right? Mucho vulnerable, The voice guy says, "Danger lurks around every corner, " She's attacked by a big goon with a knife, She screams, "Help! Is there no one to help me?" Well, now there's someone who'll answer your call, He'll protect you and catch you when you fall, You can count on it, And you can count on me, because I'm the Dark Avenger.
- I'm the what? - The Dark Avenger.
- I'm the Dark Avenger.
- I know, it's perfect.
We can shoot it ourselves.
I'll charm a post-production house into doing the effects and-- I know something about self-promotion.
One commercial like this could help get us out of the red, or the black or whichever means we're broke, that's us.
Buffy blows into town and puts you in a permanent funk and I'm supposed to stand and watch our business go belly-up? He's not entirely wrong.
Advertising a superhero who can't really go out in the daylight may raise vampire suspicions.
Not to mention our lack of an investigator's license.
Who needs a license without any clients? We'll manage, princess.
We always do.
We will if we project the right image.
And now I am suddenly thinking Angel's all wrong for this commercial.
He's larger than life, way too Braveheart for Joe Couch Potato to relate to.
We need someone who's average run of the mill, ordinary.
You're perfect.
- I appreciate the compliment-- - Come into the light.
Let's create cheekbones, okay? I'm not photogenic, plus I get dry mouth.
Excuse me? This is not a negotiation, this is a necessity.
Our boss is in a funk.
He's only happy when he's fighting evil.
Now let's drum up some.
I don't know what we need evil for when we got you.
I heard that.
"If you need help, then look no further.
Angel Investigations is the best.
- Our rats are low--" - Rates! It says "rats.
" "Our rates are low, but our standards are high.
When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope you need someone to count on.
That's what you'll find here.
Someone who'll go all the way who will protect you always.
So don't lose hope.
Come on over to our offices and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world.
" Is that it? Am I done? I don't know.
I'm not getting everyman, I'm getting weasel.
We don't want weasel.
People will pour in when they hear about our low rats.
I can try it again.
I don't think so.
Weasel factor, huh? I didn't mean it like that.
I'm sorry.
I'm just-- I feel hopeless with him down there doing the nonprofit brooding.
It's not like he has a heart.
How could it be so broken? I guess seeing Buffy got him where he lives.
That's all very sad, but we live here too.
I'll talk to him.
Maybe if we get him a costume.
- A costume? - The guy's a bona fide hero.
Would it kill him to wear tights for some publicity? I don't see Angel putting on tights.
Oh, now I do, and it's really disturbing.
Hey.
Is this a private catharsis or can anyone watch? What do you want? There's a girl who's not sad enough to cry in my arms but keep up the dark cloud.
I might get lucky.
I just need a little time.
Believe me, I know.
Last time I saw my ex, she was around for five minutes and I was a wreck.
It's amazing how they can do that to you.
Buffy was here more than five minutes.
Okay.
Ten, but who's counting? Actually, she was here for a whole day and night.
One of us has been drinking and I'm sad to say it isn't me.
Why didn't you tell me about the Oracles, Doyle? The Oracles? Who told you about the Oracles? The Mohra demon got away the first time.
What first time? I killed it.
Some of its blood mixed with mine and made me mortal.
That's when you took me to see the Oracles.
No, see, I'd remember a trip to the netherworld.
- It doesn't happen every day.
- They said I was released from duty.
Buffy and I were together until we realized it couldn't be.
We don't belong to ourselves.
We belong in the world, fighting.
So I went back to the Oracles and asked them to turn back the clock as though that day had never happened.
Human? You were a real live flesh and blood human being.
And you and Buffy.
You had the one thing you wanted in your life and you gave it back? - Maybe I was wrong.
- Or maybe Cordelia was right.
About you being the real deal in the hero department.
See, I would've chosen the pleasures of the flesh over duty and honor.
I don't have that strength.
You never know till you're tested.
You've lived, loved, fought and vanquished in a day and I'm still trying to ask Cordy out for dinner.
Not to mention telling her I'm half demon.
That should come first, huh? They said something bad is coming.
Soldiers of Darkness and the End of Days.
So much for long-term savings bonds.
I don't know what's coming, but I know we're part of it.
If it's a fight they want, can't someone else give it to them? It seems unfair.
You gotta save all the helpless now you gotta fight the apocalypse? It's all the same thing.
Fight the good fight, whichever way you can.
Tell you what, you fight, and I'll keep score.
Angel started the day over knowing he'd remember everything? That's pretty amazing, huh? Amazing he didn't check stock quotes or the lotto numbers.
He should've told us what happened.
We can't keep secrets from each other.
No, we can't.
Thanks.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about secrets and whatnot.
My marriage would've stood a better chance if me and Harry talked more.
Really let each other in.
So, how is she? You two keeping in touch? - Well, she's decided to stay in L.
A.
- Oh.
You'll probably be seeing a lot of each other, then.
Well, not right away.
We both need to get on with our lives.
- Getting on is good.
- If I want a lasting relationship I need to put a few cards on the table.
Such as? Thing of it is I'm a little bit more than meets the-- Oh, oh, I know this one.
Mask, Mask-head.
The Man With Two Brains, Whoever you saw just now did they look like they could afford to pay? Pretty low-rent, even by demon standards.
You said they were hiding.
It's a good place for it.
Doyle.
Signs of life.
I smell something.
Still warm.
They left in a hurry.
Not food.
Fear.
Don't be afraid.
It's okay.
We're here to help.
We gave our money to a man for passports and safe passage on a ship.
We didn't know.
It was stupid of us.
He disappeared with our money and the ship never came.
- Where were you going? - Briole a small island off the coast of Ecuador.
Others of our kind have found sanctuary there.
Sanctuary from whom? They're close.
They almost got us.
We lost half our supplies.
Rieff, we have a guest.
It's the Promised One.
Terrific.
There's been a misunderstanding.
I don't think so.
Many of our prophesies are cryptic but one thing is clear: In the final days of this century the Promised One will save us from the Scourge.
- The Scourge? - He doesn't even know who they are.
How can he protect us? They're coming! No matter how many promised guys you throw at them, they won't stop until we're dead.
You're gonna get us all killed.
He's young.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
We need to deal with this.
They think I'm some promised savior.
What? The Scourge.
You know them? What are they? Death.
- Who's there? - A friend.
I don't have any.
All right.
I'm more like a relative who needs your help.
What are you talking about? Who are you? My name is Lucas.
I'm a Brachen demon, like you.
My clan has been living in the woods, in Oregon.
Safe, until they came.
Not all of us escaped.
I don't know what you think I can do.
I got problems of my own.
They know we're here.
They're coming for us.
What are you talking about? Who's coming for you? The Scourge.
Who the hell is that? An army of pure-blood demons.
They hate us mixed-heritage types.
Very into pedigree.
They hunt us down like animals.
- No one fights back? - Sure they do.
All the time.
You can kill them.
They believe in what they're doing.
They're ready to die for the cause.
Hard to fight fanatics.
- More like impossible.
- I'm not asking you to fight - just help us hide for a while.
- You got the wrong guy, pal.
Want to set up a little off-track betting? I got the know-how.
But demon-hiding? It's not my line.
- You're one of us.
- No, I'm not.
I was raised human.
I'm not looking to explore me roots.
We don't have anyone else to turn to.
I don't know what to tell you.
You're up against something big.
Anybody that helps you, they're taking a chance.
And I'm not, you know, dying to take chances.
Doyle, if you don't believe we share a common family believe we share a common enemy.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? Guess not.
I punked out, I just found out about my demon side.
I didn't know what it meant.
The idea of sudden obligations with guys that looked like pincushions was a little too much to take then.
Then what happened? Damn it.
Believe we share a common enemy, When I got the visions I thought it was a stroke, I didn't know what the images meant.
But I had to know if it was a dream or real, It wasn't a dream, - You couldn't have known.
- They need more than a Promised One.
The contractually obligated You can't fight the Scourge, Angel.
It won't come to that, because we'll get them out.
Hello? Angel? Hello.
While this may look like a popular brand of breath freshener it's really a cunningly disguised demon repellent.
- Wintergreen.
- Cordy, it's okay.
We're here to help them.
Oh.
Hi.
- Where's Angel? - Securing documents for safe passage.
- Did you get the truck? - Yes, it's out front.
Hey, Doyle, you did notice that these folks are demons? Yeah, I know that.
It doesn't make them bad people.
Excuse us a sec? Okay, mission statement check.
We battle the forces of darkness.
They're half-human and they're in trouble.
We don't have time.
Angel wants you to go to the harbor.
Pier 12, slip four, The Quintessa, Use Angel's name, he knows the captain.
- So we're booking them on a cruise? - Basically, yeah.
- I guess not Carnival.
- He runs a freighter.
He owes Angel some money.
He does this, they're even.
Hang on.
This guy owes Angel money? - Why aren't we collecting it? - Cordy, oppressed demon people here.
Not getting safer.
- So we pay to send them on a cruise? - Please.
Just do it.
We need to know the ship is ready before we can move.
Bad things are coming, aren't they? Very bad things.
- I'm on it.
- Call me the minute it's done.
Okay.
- I can get into trouble doing this.
- Not as much as if you don't.
I look the other way on some of Randy's shipments because he's my brother, not because of the money.
Family's important.
- So you're not going to pay? - I'm not paying.
- It's extortion.
- Big Randy told you about me, right? - He said you bit him.
- I never bit him.
- So you don't-- - I wasn't hungry.
- What should the documents say? - The ship is carrying a cargo of medical waste.
No one looks inside or tries to stop it from leaving port.
If they do, I'm gonna be feeling it's your fault.
Then look for me to get a little bit peckish.
Have a nice trip.
We don't have time for this.
What's wrong with that boy? - What is it? - Rieff.
He took off.
He does this every time.
He'll be back.
No, he won't.
He says there isn't any Promised One.
And he wasn't gonna stay here and get killed with the rest of us.
- We're not gonna get killed, are we? - No.
No one's gonna get killed.
Clear out when Cordelia calls.
Go to the ship.
If you're not here, I'll take the boy there.
Hey.
Do you know where he went? Rieff, wait! Wait! - You're fast.
- I'm walking.
- You're just old.
- Yeah, okay.
We ought to go.
Angel's got a ship.
Great.
Have fun.
Take some Dramamine.
- You're not coming with? - You can't make me.
You're right.
You're old enough.
It's your choice.
Right, a choice.
Where do I want to be hated? You wouldn't get it.
You're passing.
My mother was the same way.
Could walk down the streets.
She took me out with her one day.
I was so excited.
In the neighborhood with the other kids.
You know what day it was? What day was it? It was Halloween.
So that's my choice.
I can be hated by humans because they're scared or by pure-bloods who want to kill me.
It's so easy, it's not much of a choice.
Seems your family's one place you know you belong.
Hey.
- Bet that little girl will miss you.
- Yeah, well, she's dead by now.
Or might as well be.
They're coming again, I can feel it.
- It's different this time.
- Why? Because of the Promised One? - So you know it's not true.
- No, I don't.
I don't know about your people's myths and legends but I do know Angel, and he's the genuine article.
- A hero.
- Yeah, that's exactly what he is.
They can call him whatever they like.
What does it matter? It matters because it's a lie.
They put their faith in something.
You don't have to if you don't want.
Maybe Angel doesn't know what he's doing.
But the other option, losing yourself, hoping it all goes away I know that never works.
How about we go find your family? Well, it's not exactly The Love Boat, is it? Sorry, we haul cargo, not people.
- It's never complained.
- We can bring in some blankets.
How many are we talking? Maybe 20.
Some are short people, you know, children.
It won't be too comfortable but we'll get them where they're going.
We'll take it.
- Hey, this way.
- Huh? I thought all Brachens had good sense of direction.
Yeah, we're all pretty good at basketball too.
What? They're here.
Come on, let's go.
Go! In there.
Check up there! Sit tight.
Destroy it all! Doyle.
Stay here.
You understand? - Get him! - There! Go, go! Here's one! Kill him! Take your squad on the east side, move! They're coming.
Good.
They were here, sir.
Recently.
And when the lights come on, where do the vermin go? - Keep looking.
- For what? This? Back off, it's my kill.
Vampires don't feed on demon blood.
Please.
I wouldn't eat this.
He reeks of humanity.
You're one to talk, vampire.
Yours is the lowest of all half-breeds.
You think I don't know that? You think I don't smell the humanity inside me, day and night - polluting me? - Please don't! Shut up! A half-breed who murders other half-breeds.
Always charming.
I know who you are.
I want to join you.
Join us? You wish to die? I need to be cleansed, and only you can show me the way.
Kill me if you want, you'd only be freeing me.
I can kill half-breeds for you.
I do it faster and better than anyone you've got.
I know their minds, where they hide what they think.
I can help you.
Maybe you can.
Bring him! Take him to area one, now! Move! Faster! Come on! I think I hated that plan.
Can all Brachen demons do that? We're stronger in demon form.
But I generally prefer to pass as human.
Where is everyone? Where they're supposed to be, I hope.
Look, I got my clearance.
We have to go now.
- I've got a schedule to keep.
- They'll be here.
Just a few more minutes.
Angel said he'd cut half my debt for this favor, right? Yep.
Half.
That's what he said.
Big whopping 50 percent.
- Quite a deal.
- He takes 60 percent off then I wait.
You drive a hard bargain.
We can't thank you enough.
I'm sure Rieff's in safe hands.
- Doyle will get him here.
- He's a good one.
He understands our suffering.
We both do.
I didn't mean to say that you didn't.
It's just more familiar for Doyle.
He has to live with persecution.
You always do when you're half demon.
Demon? The other day, I was asked: Why hunt the mongrel? Doesn't its very inferiority guarantee that it poses no threat? Won't it die of its own innate, mortal stupidity? Let me tell you even the smallest of vermin need be addressed.
Half-breeds.
Worse.
They keep cross-breeding forever diluting our precious demon blood with their weak, simpering humanity.
If we allow this to happen it's like giving up the call to evil altogether.
It's as good as turning human ourselves.
Well, I say never! I say, we will not stop until every half-breed is erased and our purity rules this planet! We will not stop because the higher order demands it! Now, this very evening we take a giant step towards our goal.
Tonight, the half-breeds that have eluded us will be destroyed.
And we know how to find them thanks to this good man.
First mate on a ship they think means salvation not annihilation.
He comes to us for money, but he is a brother to our cause.
And we invite him to witness the power of the beacon.
Tonight, the Lister half-breeds.
Incredible, isn't he? - He makes it all so clear.
- Yes.
- Things are very clear.
- The Listers along with any creatures contaminated with human blood will perish the moment this cleansing light touches them.
When it achieves full power and detonates its deadly reach will extend a quarter mile in every direction.
Want to see how it works? A fitting end for a sorry mutation.
Go now! And deliver this, our message! Our victory depends on it! Someone's coming! Do you know what you put us through? We gotta get out of here.
- I'm sorry.
- Let's get you down with the others.
Thanks.
- What? - You're alive.
And you're not happy? We were worried.
Oh.
Well, it's all gonna be okay-- What was that for? Why didn't you tell me you were half demon? I thought we agreed that secrets are bad.
I wanted to tell you.
I was afraid.
- I thought if I did, you'd reject me.
- I've rejected you way before now.
So you're half demon.
Big whoop.
I can't believe you think I'd care about that.
I work for a vampire.
Hello! - It's true.
I just-- - Do you think I'm superficial? Being half demon is far down the list.
Way under short and poor.
Anything else I should know? No, the half demon thing is my big secret.
Good.
That's out.
It's done.
Would you ask me out for dinner already? Yeah? Cordelia - would you like to-- - It's Angel.
- We have to go now.
- What's going on? - I can't find my first mate.
- Go to the bridge.
They're here.
- Angel.
- Get below.
Lock the doors.
- But-- - Move! Now! Stay with the others.
Hurry, hurry, hurry! Lock the hatches! The Scourge is here! We're shoving off, we're gonna make it.
You lied to us, half-breed.
You catch on quick, football-head.
Kill him.
Painfully.
It's gonna detonate.
Get out! Everyone out! Now! Welcome to a cleaner world.
Soon, only the pure will be left standing.
Actually, pure boy you'll be on your ass.
Locked from the outside, we're trapped! - What's this? - Kills anything with human blood.
It's getting brighter and that little doohickey's.
It's fully armed, isn't it? Almost.
I think I can still pull the cables.
Without touching the light? - It's suicide.
- There's gotta be another way.
- It's all right.
- No! The good fight, yeah? You never know until you've been tested.
I get that now.
Too bad we'll never know if this is a face you could learn to love.
Doyle.
Doyle.
Doyle! Doyle! No! No! If you need help, then look no further, Angel Investigations is the best, - Our rats are low-- - Rates! It says "rats, " Our rates are low, but our standards are high, When the chips are down and you're at the end of your rope you need someone to count on, That's what you'll find here, Someone who'll go all the way who will protect you no matter what, Come on over to our offices and you'll see that there's still heroes in this world, Is that it? Am I done?