Arthur (1996) s01e09 Episode Script

1
Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪
Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪
( laughs )
And I say hey! ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen
to your heart ♪
Listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪
Get together and make things
better by working together ♪
It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself ♪
For that's the place
to start ♪
And I say hey! ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other. ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪
Hey!
ARTHUR:
Hey, D.W.
Hey!
Whoa!
( crash )
( growls )
( laughs )
( growls )
( giggles )
D.W., let Kate
drink her bottle.
when mom and dad
come in
I'm telling them
you bossed
me around.
you're lucky!
did I ever tell you
about my baby-sitters?
like Mrs. gudder?
she was always practicing
her golf swing.
then there was ms. schmegeggi.
she made great cookies,
but she was clumsy.
( phone rings )
these houses-- poor design,
rotten construction.
the worst was
Mrs. Featherfoffer.
( dramatic music
playing on tv )
MAN:
Kimberly, I know
you weren't there.
KIMBERLY:
Oh, Roger, if you must know,
I I was bungee jumping.
( Arthur imitating
plane zooming )
Don't make noise!
Go to bed!
It's daytime.
Go to bed!
Some baby-sitters
are a real pain
and I don't know why, because
it's the easiest job on earth.
( giggles )
( croaks )
( barks )
Wait! Come back!
( Arthur imitating car engine )
( Kate giggles )
Don't push the
stroller too fast.
Okay, Dad.
D.W.!
Why are you
so blue?
And green and red?
We did finger-painting
in school.
Neat! How'd you get
paint all over you?
It was those Tibble twins.
They're driving me crazy.
They should be
in cages.
They can't be
that bad.
D.W.:
You don't know.
They give our teacher headaches.
Don't get too close--
that's where they live.
( screaming )
( laughing )
Hey, D.W.!
Hey, D.W.!!
I said it
louder.
Hey, D.W.!!!
I said it loudest.
Let's run, okay?
They don't look
so bad.
What's
the problem?
D.W.:
They're
the problem.
Why, hello, D.W.
Hi, Mrs. Tibble.
I can say it
louder.
You certainly can, sweetheart.
Has anyone seen
the baby-sitter?
She had to go
home-- suddenly.
( both yelling, arguing )
Oh, dear!
I have no baby-sitter
and I must go next door
to visit Mrs. Fogal.
you know, Arthur is
a great baby-sitter
and I'm sure he'd
be glad to do it.
Oh, would you?
It would help me out
so much.
Just for an hour
or so.
Sure I can do it.
I'll be back
this afternoon.
TWINS:
Yay!
ARTHUR:
I can't play kickball.
I'm baby-sitting
the Tibbles.
You mean
the terrible twins?
What do you mean?
My sister baby-sat
for them once, just once.
She's still having
nightmares about it.
Tibble
Tibble
Tibble
( screams )
( laughing maliciously )
What did they do?
I don't know.
She wouldn't
talk about it.
Back out of it while
you're still alive!
It'll be like watching
D.W. and Kate.
( crying )
I'm hungry, too.
40-11, 40-12,
40-13
( laughing )
Aah!
The Tibbles are
a little worse
than your sisters.
I've got to go.
Be tough.
You're in charge
and what you
say goes!
We may never see
him again.
Arthur, come in.
Yahoo!
( twins whooping and hollering )
My grandsons are
very energetic
but I
don't think
that will be
a problem.
( vase smashes )
( twins laughing )
( clock chiming )
Are you okay,
Arthur?
( gasps )
GRANDMOTHER:
Arthur is here!
TWINS:
So what?
Faster! Faster!
Whee!
That's Tommy
in the red kerchief
and Timmy
in the blue one.
They should sleep
until I'm back.
See you later, boys!
( sighs with relief )
She's gone!
( purring )
( yowls )
Mountain lion on the loose!
Tommy! Timmy! Tom
Don't move!
It's a vicious mountain lion.
Look, guys
It's
nap time.
You tired?
No. You?
No! We're not tired.
We want to play
hide-and-seek.
PRUNELLA:
Be tough on them
or you're dead!
What I say goes:
it's nap time
Now!
We're not
tired.
Look.
Listen to me!
I'm the baby-sitter!
Hey!
( gasps )
Stop that right now!
( clock chimes )
Yahoo!
Whoa!
( phone rings )
Hello?
Hi, Arthur, it's D.W.
Just calling to see
how things are going.
( twins imitating train noises )
( crashing into furniture )
They won't take a nap
no matter how much I order them.
Try playing a game
to calm them down.
They'll get tired.
Good idea.
Thanks, D.W.
Just don't let them
have any paint.
( giggling )
Hey, guys, let's play a game.
Oh, boy!
Let's play
hide-and-seek!
Nope. How about
playing cards?
I know
a good game!
It's called
52 pick-up!
49
50
51
Catch!
Mmm
Let's play
hide-and-seek.
No. You wouldn't
be interested
in playing cowboy,
would you?
Yay!
Yeah!
Okay.
Now, I'll be
the sheriff
and you're
my deputies.
I'm your boss
and
We're the bad guys
and you can't catch us!
( twins shouting )
( phone rings )
D.W.:
Hello?
Arthur?
Arthur can't come to the phone.
He's all tied up.
You ready to play
hide-and-seek?
Okay, okay.
You're it.
Count to 20.
19
Ready or not, here I come.
It's nice and quiet now.
Too quiet.
Oh, no!
What if they went out?
I'll be in big trouble!
And so would the town!
( crowd screaming in horror )
( laughing )
Aah!
( roars )
( growling )
This is Arthur's fault.
He was supposed to watch them!
Yeah, it's
Arthur's fault!
He's going
to pay for this!
( phone ringing )
D.W.:
Arthur? Is that you?
What happened?
ARTHUR:
Hmm!
I can't
talk now.
I'm looking for the twins.
( raising his voice ):
I think they left.
( twins giggling )
You'll go to jail for
losing two innocent children!
I'm especially
worried because
( louder ):
the swamp thing might get them.
The what?
The swamp thing
rises every day
around this time
to hunt for
something to eat.
Uh, Arthur
are you feeling all right?
( twins screaming )
I'll call you back.
( twins screaming )
The swamp thing
is outside!
What do we do?!
Sit down
a safe distance
from the doors
and windows
and I'll tell you.
The swamp thing
is a nasty creature
covered with green, slimy gunk,
and it's always hungry--
hungry for twin boys!
But twins are hard to find
so he's always very hungry and
that makes him mad-- mean mad.
And you can't hear him
sneaking up behind you!
( twins screaming )
But as he walks
the swamp thing drips
a trail of stinky swamp water.
( doorknob rattling )
Swamp thing!
Hello, boys, I brought
some ice cream
from Mrs. Fogal.
It's melting!
TWINS:
Grandma!
They didn't feel tired,
so we played.
I'll clean up.
TWINS:
Can we help Arthur clean up?
Please?
You want to help clean up?
I think I might faint.
You are the
first baby-sitter
who didn't run screaming
from the house
like running
from a monster.
Because the monsters
are on my side.
See you later, guys.
TWINS:
Good-bye, Arthur!
You're home early.
Couldn't take
it, huh?
Didn't I
tell you?
They were horrible!
Admit you
were wrong.
Admit it!
We had so much fun
Mrs. Tibble wants me
to watch them every afternoon.
And you're going to do it?
They just want to have fun,
not be bossed around.
They asked me
to bring you along tomorrow
so they'd
have somebody
their own age
to play with.
D.W.:
Mommy? will you take
my temperature?
I feel really,
really, really sick!
ARTHUR:
I hope this
never happens to you.
DAD:
Hurry, they'll be here soon.
( sponge squeaking )
Mom
you missed
a spot.
No, it's not
cleaning day.
You missed
a spot, Mom.
Aah!
D.W.:
Higher
Higher
Higher
A little lower
Lower
Lower
No, it's not
a holiday.
Lawn mowed?
Check.
Party fun list?
Check it's not
a formal dinner.
Beds made?
Teeth brushed? Dog fed?
Check, check, check.
There, Daddy
that's perfect.
It's all
these things
and more.
We're as ready
as we'll ever be.
( sighs )
Welcome to
the Read family reunion.
( birds chirping )
( thunder )
( doorbell rings )
DAD:
Can you get that, Arthur?
Don't forget the list.
Hi, welcome to the Read
Gotcha!
Hey there, Artie,
like my new camera?
This supernova
solar flash is
a real dandy.
Don't just stand there,
Mr. Piano Man, invite us in.
Oh, right Welcome
to the Read family reunion.
Come on in.
Dad planned party games,
so get ready for fun, fun, fun.
Son, fun is
my middle name
and I don't need
a list to have it.
( mocking laughter )
Monique, don't
lag, darling.
We brought your cousin Mo'.
Cousin ( gulps ) Mo'?
She has a nice surprise for you.
You remember
Cousin Mo', don't you?
( echoing ):
Remember your Cousin Mo',
don't you
AUNT LORETTA:
Now, play nice with
little Cousin Arthur, Mo'.
Sure, we're going
to have lots of fun
Aren't we, Cousin Arthur?
( laughs )
ARTHUR:
Aah!
That's just a simple throw.
Here's one I made up myself--
"the headlock of death."
( gasps )
Hey, everybody, look at Arthur.
ARTHUR ( muffled ):
It's not funny.
WOMAN:
Oh, how cute.
Honey, look
at Arthur.
MAN ( laughs ):
He's so funny.
ADULTS ( laughing ):
Oh, how cute! He's so funny.
( laughter echoing )
Aah!
( gasps )
My, Arthur's
certainly growing
into an excitable boy.
Okay, the
sauce is ready
the buns are ready,
the coals are ready.
All we need
are the burgers and hot dogs.
I didn't get
burgers and hot dogs!
I got the
burgers and
hot dogs, dear.
Ah, that's right.
ARTHUR:
Ah, target sighted.
I just have to get
across the backyard
and through the party
to the house.
Then I can hide in my room
until she's gone.
But how? How?
Hi, Arthur.
( gasps )
( loudly ):
What are you doing hiding
in this tree?
Don't run--
I hear Mo' has
a big surprise
planned for you.
We'll see about that.
Maybe she wants to give you
a ride in the washing machine
Maybe she wants to give you
a ride in the washing machine
then hang you
on the clothesline to dry.
Or maybe ( grunts )
Arthur, help me down! Arthur!
UNCLE BUD:
Hey, Ricky.
Look at my boy go.
Quite an athlete.
Bet he beats Artie
in the sack race.
Oh, my gosh,
I forgot to get sacks.
Broom closet,
behind the mop.
Arthur, I brought
my comic collection.
This is
Spider Guy #1.
I had to trade
three copies
of Mr. Stupendous,
but it was worth it.
Mr. Stupendous
could never beat
Spider Guy.
And this
is oh.
Anyway, this is
the latest issue
of Mega Metal.
Hello, Dear--
I thought
I'd just give you
a little hand.
I know how hard
cooking for a
crowd can be.
I'm doing
fine, Loretta.
Nonsense.
Look what I just
found in the kitchen
this flip'omatic I sent you.
Doesn't seem to
have been used much.
Maybe you don't
know how.
Just set the
spring like this
slip it under
the burgers,
and then presto!
I may have that set
a little too high.
Ah, what a perfect day!
The sun is shining, the air
is clear, the burgers are
the burgers?
( splat )
( grunts angrily )
Okay, time for fun, fun, fun
with the
sack race.
On your mark
Get set
Hold on,
just let me get focused.
Arthur, want
to join the sack race?
Sorry, burlap
makes me itch.
( stammering )
Ready?
Get set.
Go!
( barking )
Wowee, that Artie's fast
for a little fellow.
( growls )
The race is over,
Arthur-- you won.
( burgers falling )
I guess we could
turn it down one
more notch.
UNCLE SEAN:
My latest project
is an original mystery.
It's about a man
haunted by his past
on the run from a dreaded enemy.
He's hounded
everywhere he goes.
Oh, you mean like The Fugitive?
Or Les Miserables, or just
like The Thirty-nine Steps?
Mother
Well yes,
but completely different.
D.W.:
Gotcha!
Yow!
( giggles )
( cheering )
WOMAN:
Go, Sean, go
No!
( whistling )
MOM:
Come on, Grandma,
you can do it.
OTHERS:
Come on, Grandma!
UNCLE BUD:
Hey, Ricky, piece of cake.
You're doing it.
Hang on, Grandma,
you're going
to make it.
UNCLE BUD:
You're going to win,
Ricky my boy
Hard-boiled
next time.
MAN:
Way to go, Grandma!
( cheering )
DAD:
Bridge Over the River Kwai?
AUNT BONNIE:
The Bridges of Madison County?
A Bridge Too Far.
"London Bridge is Falling Down"?
Oh, we give up--
it's been
half an hour
already.
Honestly!
On the Bridges
of Medieval Paris:
a Record of Early
Fourteenth-century Life
by Virginia
Wylie Egbert.
( groaning )
We said pick
a popular book.
Well, all my friends
have read it.
Everybody ready
for musical shoes?
( groaning and sighing )
Honey, I think
everyone's
ready to rest now.
Nonsense! I'll make this
a reunion to remember.
Where's Arthur?
he's missing all
( thunder )
Uh-oh.
I'm sure
it's just a sonic
( thunder crashes )
boom.
( many thunderclaps )
It's probably
just a light
shower.
( thunderclap )
Of course, Dear
Whatever you say.
Aah!
Arthur,
it's only me.
Can't you just tap
me on the shoulder
like anyone else?
I slipped.
Maybe the road
will wash out
and Mo' will have to
stay with us all week.
Arthur, are you
feeling okay?
( piano playing faintly )
What's that?
( playing lively song )
( hitting wrong notes )
( testing key )
( playing sequence )
No, no, it's
( continues song )
Oh, you mean like this?
( continues song
on higher notes )
( stops playing )
( playing "Chopsticks" )
ARTHUR:
When did you
learn to play?
When I saw you play
at other reunions,
it made me want
to learn, too.
I've been
waiting all day
to show you.
I thought you
wanted to decorate me
like a christmas tree.
You're my favorite
relative.
I only come to
these dumb reunions
to play with you.
I'm glad it's the
piano this time.
♪
Forget my
Mince-o-matic demonstration
this is where
the real party is.
( playing fast dance tune )
UNCLE BUD:
I don't want
to miss a minute
of this.
Rain or no rain
this has been the biggest
and best reunion ever!
Rain or no rain
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen
to your heart ♪
Listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself ♪
For that's the place
to start ♪
And I say hey! ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day! ♪
Hey! ♪