Axe Cop (2013) s01e09 Episode Script

All right, we're gonna do one story tonight, but it's gonna be your favorite story.
Are you ready for your favorite bedtime story, Uni-Baby? "The Night Creatures.
" "Parents in the future sometimes have to send their babies back in time.
So they send them into space in baby spaceships.
Sometimes a baby will accidentally push the ship's 'get out' button.
And the babies will float into space where the night creatures will get them.
" "The night creatures use their claws to transform the babies into baby night creatures.
" "And send them to planet earth where they wait until nighttime to come out and steal earth babies.
But the sun helps keep earth babies safe For now.
" Okay, Uni-Baby.
One day, at the scene of the fire the cop found the perfect axe.
That was the day he became Axe Cop! So he had tryouts and hired a partner.
I will chop your heads off! Flute Cop! Let's get to work.
Morning, honey.
You want breakfast? No no no.
Axe Cop and I will grab something on the way to work.
Hey, don't forget.
Today's Uni-Baby's first day of baby school.
Oh honey, I wish I could go with you.
I feel like I'm missing everything.
You are, honey.
Now get to work.
You know how Axe Cop gets when he has to wait.
I'm going nuts out here! Okay, okay! Stop honking.
We live in a residential neighborhood.
I gotta go.
You guys don't get it.
It's crazy.
I mean, they grow up so fast.
Baby school already? In a blink of an eye, I'll be taking her to baby college.
And then what? Baby grown-up life and she won't need me anymore.
She'll be just living her baby grown-up life.
You need another minute, sir? He's done talking.
I'll have a piece of birthday cake.
- Oh, is it your birthday, officer? - No.
- Oh.
And for you, sir? - The ushe.
Chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, por favor.
Sorry, sir.
We're no longer serving breakfast.
You'll have to order from the dinner menu.
Wait, what's going on? Order off the dinner menu? What what, are there, hidden cameras somewhere? - It's-it's breakfast time.
- Oh really? Then why is the sun setting, genius? The sun's not setting.
It's being stolen.
Let's go! That's madness.
Who would steal the sun? The sun thieves.
We need to find them, kill them, and steal the sun back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Axe Cop, but last time I checked the sun's too hot to touch.
That's why we need sun-picking-up gloves.
That's perfect.
There's a superhero glove store for cops and warriors downtown.
We can be there in 10, Not if we drive through this police barricade! Whoa-ho-ho-ho! - Oh no! They're closed.
- Let me handle this guy.
Excuse me, friend? Hi.
Yeah, we need to pick up some sun-picking-up gloves before you lock up.
Sorry, we're closed.
We're a daytime store.
But it's eight in the morning.
Not at night.
Tell that to the sun, genius.
Now I gotta go get to my night class.
I'm not looking to work at a glove store the rest of my life.
- Axe Cop, what are we gonna do? - I have the perfect plan.
Morning, ma'am.
Yeah, just doing a routine glass check here.
Hyah.
It's glass, all right.
We're done here.
I also got myself some monster gloves for Halloween.
They're perfect for my Wolveye costume.
Now let's go kill some sun thieves! Move out of the way! We're in a hurry! Axe Cop always has the right of way! Pull over, Axe Cop.
It's the normal cops.
I hate normal cops.
You said it, bro.
Do you know how fast you were going, Axe Cop? Of course I do.
The fastest.
I know you're just doing your job, officer, but we are in a serious hurry.
Someone is stealing the sun.
Well, that sounds like a job for a normal cop.
As it seems to me, son, you need to be reminded what separates you from normal cops.
- The night creatures are coming.
- Night creatures? That's just a story you read to your baby to scare it.
Wrong.
The night creatures are real.
Night creatures.
That's a nice Oh no! They're real.
Shh shh shh shh.
Okay, okay.
They're gone.
- I think we're safe.
- Wrong.
The night creatures are going to throw us off that cliff.
Wait, what? Let's see how this plays out.
Oh hey, Axe Cop.
Everything okay? We've gotten reports of night creatures in the neighborhood.
We need to take your babies until this blows over for safe keeping.
Okay.
Whatever you say, Axe Cop.
Axe Cop! Keep holding on, buddy.
Come on.
- No.
- Wait, what? - Hello? - Anita, where's Uni-Baby? What do you mean? I just gave her to you guys.
That wasn't us! That was the night creatures dressed up to look like us! The night creatures have Uni-Baby? Anita, don't worry.
We're on our way.
Axe Cop, let's go save Uni-Baby.
There's no time.
We have to save the sun.
But Uni-Baby needs us.
Wrong.
Uni-Baby needs you.
The world needs me.
Flute Cop, is it really you this time or are you a night creature? You tell me.
Muah.
No night creature can kiss like that.
Anita, baby, listen to me, and listen good.
The night creatures live in a secret cave in the center of the earth.
They've put Uni-Baby inside a very special kind of moon rock that is slowly transforming her into one of them.
To save her, we need to be very sneaky.
Like ninjas.
Now let's go save our daughter.
What are you gonna buy with your cut of the money once we unload the sun? I'm gonna buy an ocean.
Fill it with good water.
You know, none of that salty stuff.
Then I'm gonna train all the sharks to do tricks for me.
You sure this is where your uncle told us to meet him? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- How can you be sure? - We're in the middle of space.
- I know.
That's exactly where he told us to meet him.
He told you to meet him in the middle of space? He wasn't any more specific? Wait, wait.
There's your uncle.
On his flying dinosaur.
Uh, my uncle doesn't have a flying dinosaur.
It's Axe Cop.
It's Axe Cop, go! Go, go! Uni-Baby, where are you? Keep looking.
Where are you, honey? Flute Cop, I found her.
Uni-Baby.
Don't worry.
Mommy and daddy are here.
Anita, stand back.
- Watch out! - Cover your ears.
Run! We gotta stop them before they disappear into that black hole.
Axe Cop, spike strip! Axe Cop, we can explain.
Uh, this just a big misunderstanding, mate.
I'm sure we can clear this up.
I wrote down exactly what happened on this here one dollar bill.
See? No big deal.
You could not be more wrong, my friend.
It's a huge deal.
Because of you, all the babies on earth are probably gonna get turned into night creatures.
You said no one would get hurt, Ben.
What are you doing using my real name for, scoot? - We talked about this.
- Look, Axe Cop, I got an idea.
What if we apologize to you and you let us go? That sounds pretty fair to me.
These guys seem pretty sorry about all this.
Maybe we should just let them go.
I got a better idea.
Ah-ha! Teleported them to space jail, huh? No, I killed them.
Now let's start carrying the sun towards earth.
Go go! - We're not gonna make it in time.
- Yes we will.
We have to throw the sun on the count of Now! - Aah! - Flute Cop! Axe Cop, we could use the sun right about now.
Anita, baby, we did it.
No, Axe Cop did it.
Yeah, we did it, buddy.
No, I did it.
Laser high-five! If your baby is still human, come collect it from the baby pile.
Here you go.
That's a cute little one, isn't it? And this one's for you, sir.
Catch.
But if your baby was turned into a night creature, then you're going to have to remarry and start a new family.