Back to the Future (1991) s01e09 Episode Script

73010 - Solar Sailors

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the '50s Or 1999? All I wanted to do, Was play my guitar and sing So take me away, I don't mind But you better promise me I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time AUTOMATED VOICE: Doctor Brown, you're transmitting! Huh? Oh, gre Greetings! My, how time slips by when you're gazing at the heavens.
The universe is a fascinating place.
Stars, galaxies, black holes, red giants, white dwarfs Blue moon (GASPS) Don't let this get around, but I did visit the moon on one occasion a few years ago.
I suspect some viewers of this transmission might doubt my word on this matter.
Very well.
Proof.
Family album, file name, Apollo.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Accessing video family album.
DOC: There's my rocket, now.
Blasting off into the far reaches of outer sp Wait a second, this is the wrong file.
That's a NASA rocket.
Ah yes, there I am.
Stepping out of my lunar module onto the moon's barren soi Blast it, that's not me at all! That's Neil Armstrong.
I've told the kids a dozen times not to misfile the video family album.
Oh well, I'll simply tell you about my other outer space adventure.
The other journey began on a night much like tonight, as Clara and I were gazing through a telescope.
Oh.
CLARA: Oh, Emmett, there it is, the sea of tranquility.
DOC: Magnificent, isn't it? Do you remember the first time we saw it together? Like it was yesterday.
Although it was almost CLARA: Ooh, it's getting chilly, honey.
Let's go in.
Aroof? Aroo! (GROANS) Accelerate, brother! They're descending.
There! Now, where on earth did Jules and Verne get to, I wonder? JULES AND VERNE: Surprise! Happy anniversary! (FANFARE PLAYING) Boys, you shouldn't have.
Oh, I've said it before, and I'll say it again, you kids are the feline's nocturnal clothing.
Wait until you see your presents.
Me first! Ta-da! Oh, Vernie, this is lovely! Yes, yes.
Quite agreeable to the eye.
CLARA: I especially like that big blue rain cloud in the sky.
I told you they'd think I did it on purpose.
And now for my gift.
Clara, Emmett, I have the distinct honor of presenting the JEB Cross-Time Headliner.
Knowing, of course, of your interest in history, I have equipped this teletype machine with one of father's old Flux Capacitors.
Big deal.
Hush, sibling.
Par exemple, December 15th, 1791.
"Congress ratifies Bill of Rights!" Simply brilliant, Jules.
I'm very impressed.
So what? Anybody can go to the Hill Valley Humor Hut and get a joke newspaper with a phony headline.
From the past, of course.
But, what about the future? December 15th, 2091.
future to be precise! DOC: "McFly Space Cruises launches "first passenger solar sailship to Mars!" McFly Space Cruises? Vice principal Strickland always did say the McFlys just took up space.
Oh, Emmett, wouldn't a space cruise to Mars be the perfect second honeymoon? Voila! Two tickets to Mars! But, Jules, how did you ever manage it? Flux Capacitor plus fax machine plus father's credit card equals tickets.
Sweetheart, this is just the best anniversary present ever.
Yeah, I'll say.
CLARA: Vernie! Your present was also very special.
Besides, son, it's the thought that counts.
Mother, father, you'd best be on your way.
Your flight leaves in 100 years.
Now, boys, no simian business while we're gone.
We'll set the time controls so that we return in two minutes.
That soon? I hope we didn't overpack.
Fasten your seatbelt, (ENGINE STARTING) it's going to be a bumpy ride! JULES: Have a wonderful excursion! DOC: Prepare for temporal displacement! (JULES COUGHING) Verne, even though you're upset that my gift was superior to yours, you shouldn't detonate stink bombs in the lab.
(COUGHING) Don't look at me! It was your dopey machine! Gadzooks! I left it on.
Gee willikers! "McFly Solar Sailship lost in space! "Sabotage suspected.
" And it's dated December 16th, 2091, the day after Mother and Father's flight! Way to go, Jules.
And you thought my present was crummy.
JULES: We must hasten to the future! If we fail to prevent our parents from boarding that ill-fated spacecraft Yeah.
Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad.
You're history! DOC: Back to the Facts.
(READING) The Greeks knew that the moon revolved around the earth, but they thought the sun and the other planets did as well.
(SCOFFING) Ha-ha.
JULES: Destination accomplished.
Hill Valley, 2091.
No way! It looks just the same! The clock tower! (SCREAMS) Talk about your brain warps.
I knew it all along, sibling.
Now, to locate the McFly Space Center.
ROBOT: McFly Space Center? Certainly.
You just turn left at the 24-hour cloning shack, and take the tunnel tubeway.
And thank you for utilizing Irving Info-systems.
Thank you, Irving.
Emmett, that must be the tunnel tubeway yonder.
Either that, or it's the world's largest box of straws.
ROBOT: Welcome to the tunnel tubeway.
I'm your guide, Greta.
State your destination.
McFly Space Cruises, please.
JULES: Any sign of our parental units? Looky, the DeLorean! But why would Mom and Pop drive into the sewer? McFly Space Cruises, estimated time of arrival, eight seconds.
DOC: Eight seconds, we must be close! (ALARM BLARING) Humanoid hooligans! They failed to register their destination.
Detour to the violation center! (JULES AND VERNE SCREAMING) JULES AND VERNE: Yuck! VERNE: You and your stupid anniversary presents.
I'm glad to see that Hill Valley finally got rapid transit.
Hello, I'm Peter Park-it.
Please step clear of the vehicle.
Your luggage has been micro-stowed on board.
Enjoy your trip, and thank you so much for utilizing Peter Park-it.
Ah, nothing like the personal touch! Oh! JULES: Regard, brother.
That must be the sailship launching site.
Hey, taxi! (WHISTLES) McFly Space Center, and hurry! It's a dead end.
Hi, I'm Tony.
Tickets? Oh, my, a doctor.
Well, we hope you and Mrs.
Brown will have a terrific flight.
(LAUGHS) CABBIE: So, are you boys out-of-towners? More precisely, out-of-timers.
Step on it, mac.
We got a solar sailship to catch.
Okay.
ANNOUNCER: MSC Marty, ready for take-off.
All passengers please report to boarding ramp.
All carry-on luggage should be micro-stored in your pocket.
Imagine that.
100 years in the future and they still don't give you enough leg room in coach! (ON PA) This is captain Marta McFly.
Please prepare for take-off and remember, no smoking, please.
No smoking! Of course, the mixture of an open flame and pressurized oxygen could be quite explosive! MARTA: No, it's just bad for your health.
How's it going out there, Ziff? (ON PA) Have you completed your routine maintenance check? Uh, yes, ma'am, Captain McFly, ma'am.
I'm all finished.
And so are you! AUTOMATED VOICE: (ON PA) Danger, sail support bolt missing.
(BOTH SCREAMING) Hey, yous two slackers! That'll be 275 bucks! And not to mention my tip! Hasta la bye-bye, suckers! Commence magnetic gain sequence.
MAN: Aye-aye, Captain McFly.
Beginning launch procedure.
JULES: Most dire disaster! The solar sailship is taking off! VERNE: Mister, all I got's two bits.
CABBIE: A 1983 Washington head quarter! Whoa, baby, I'm rich! Woo! (KISSING) Hello! Hi, I'm Tony.
Ooh, you missed your flight.
We must speak to someone of authority.
Our Mom and Dad are gonna be lost in space! An unlikely scenario, but not a bad television program.
No, the MSC Martin has been sabotaged! Sabotage? (ALARM BEEPING) Sabotage! Sabotage! All right, who said the "S" word? We have proof of the aforementioned claim! VERNE: Read it and weep, ya big goons.
"Solar sailship (SNORTS) lost in space?" Hey, this (SNORTS) paper's dated tomorrow.
Nah, it's a gag.
They sell these things at the Hill Valley Humor Hut.
That's where my kid bought that fake vomit.
It's no joke! If our family gets out of this one alive, remind me to take up art.
Hey, look.
Those kids are gettin' inside.
Welcome, Mrs.
Phillips and the fifth grade students of Dan Quayle Elementary School.
I'm Billy Spaceboy, your guide for today's tour through the McFly Museum of Aeronautics.
The perfect vehicle for our covert entrance into the Space Center.
Let us mingle.
Now, remember, boys and girls, if you refrain from throwing plutonium spitwads, you'll each receive a free pair of Billy Spaceboy junior cadet wings.
CLARA: Oh, Emmett, this cruise is so romantic.
Just you and me alone together with the stars.
All that's missing is some soft music.
(LOUD ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF PLAYING) (DOC GASPS) DOC: Marty! Hey, thank you.
Thank you very much.
You're sweet.
DOC: Marty! What off earth are you doing here? (WITH A BRITISH ACCENT) Chill out, will ya pops? Don't smudge the rhinestones.
What is it with you oldsters and this McFly guy, anyway? (BOTH SCREAM) I'm sorry I ever started doing this act.
Isn't Jimmy wonderful? The best Marty McFly impersonator in the entire tri-planet area.
Great Grandfather would be so happy that his music lives on.
CO-PILOT: (ON PA) Captain McFly, please come to bridge.
(ALARM BLARING) Uh, code 27, if you know what I mean.
Gee, um, excuse me, folks.
And don't worry.
We're not going to crash or anything.
Captain McFly, the sails are down! What do we do? If we can't regain control, we'll drift to the outer edge of the solar system! JULES: Back to the Facts.
(READING) However, if Verne and I do not make haste, Mother and Father might not live to see them.
VERNE: Stop talking, skunkhead, and hurry! (ALARM BLARING) Oh, no! It appears that Marta's little space cruise is in trouble! We'll just have to fix that.
Was that the alarm from the MSC Marty? Uh, uh, no.
It, uh It was just a little, uh (GROANS) Indegestion.
Everything's, uh, A-all right! MARTA: Something's wrong with the solar sails.
And our booster rockets don't respond! DOC: Uh, is anything wrong, Captain? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Why, uh, no.
Not at all.
We're just drifting helplessly through space.
That's all! (GROANS) We're doomed! BILLY: Looky, boys and girls.
It's the MSC Jennifer.
The very first passenger solar sailship.
The solar sail acts as a mirror, reflecting sunlight, which propels the craft through space.
And it still works.
JULES: Brother, perhaps someone in mission control can aid our cause.
BILLY: Remember, boys and girls, if you need to use the facilities, let Billy Spaceboy know immediately.
We wouldn't want any short circuits.
Would we? Now, now, people.
Everything is under control.
Sure, and I'm Billy Spaceboy.
We're doomed! Cap'n McFly, hows about I sing a song and calm everybody down? Good idea Jimmy.
(PLAYING LOUDLY) If only there was something we could do! Emmett, let's take a little stroll.
Clara, I didn't realize you meant in space! CLARA: Oh, this is going to be a lot harder than fixin' a water pump on the farm.
GUARD: Sorry, ma'am, (SNORTS) I don't know how they got by us.
I'll have a word with (SNORTS) Tony the ticket taker.
Why do you persist in denying that the spacecraft is in danger? For one thing, children, if there were a problem, the emergency alarm would sound.
Right, Mr.
Tannen? Yeah, right, honey (CLEARING THROAT) Uh, ma'am.
Tannen? I would wager standard American currency to circular baked goods that he is the very one who sabotaged the Marty! Hey, squirt, don't be pointing your grimy little fingers at me.
JULES: And there's your evidence! GUARD: Sabotage Weekly! (ALL GASP) Okay, I did it! The McFlys have been kicking Tannens around for centuries and now, we have the ultimate revenge.
It's just too bad Grandpa Griff's not here to see it.
Stand back, it's time for me to make like a banana and skedaddle.
(SCREAMING) AUTOMATED VOICE: (ON PA) Unauthorized guest in Grandpa Griff Tannen's cell.
You blew it, didn't ya, butthead? Uh, hand me the cobalt blue, please? You kids were right! Their sails are down! I'm afraid there's nothing we can do.
I'm sorry, boys.
Not to worry, sibling.
I am formulating a brilliant concept! Who cares? What we need is a good idea! Oh, Emmett, it's no use.
We just don't have the equipment to repair the other sail.
Oh, oh.
In that case, can I have my clothes back? I can't believe we'll never see Jules and Verne again.
DOC: Don't start me crying, Clara.
(CRYING) I'll drown! (GASPS) Emmett! Look! DOC: Cockeyed Copernicus! We're saved! It's Mom and Dad! Huzzah! Adding rocket packs to The Jennifer was genius! I told you playing video games would pay off! Hey, Jules, watch this! Yes, quite pleasant.
DOC: Thanks for the tow, boys.
I'm so proud of you, I'm busting my button! Looks more like you busted your britches, Pop! And Mother, Father, (ALL LAUGHING) I heartily apologize for all the trouble brought on by my anniversary present.
CLARA: Oh, honey.
It's the thought that counts.
What's the best thing about being in outer space? You never need to vacuum.
That's because space is a vacuum.
There's no air, which explains why Clara and I wore space suits when we went outside the ship.
Hmm.
Curious? Access video encyclopedia, section "V" for vacuum.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Section "V.
" Entry, vacuum.
DOC: You scientists of the future can create your own vacuum at home.
You'll need a wide neck glass juice bottle, empty of course, a water balloon which should be slightly larger than the neck of the bottle, and, of course, you'll need a match.
Because this experiment involves matches, you should ask your parents to help out.
Right now the balloon is too large to fit through the neck of the bottle.
We strike a match, light a small piece of paper and drop it inside.
Then we place the balloon on top.
As you can see, hot gases stream past the balloon, making it sink.
Eureka! The gases left inside, cool quickly taking up less space, making a vacuum that sucks the balloon right into the bottle.
Now, how do we get it out? Notice the balloon is still too large to simply slide through the neck of the bottle.
However, if you take an ordinary drinking straw, and slip it between the balloon and the neck of the bottle, the balloon slides quite easily out of the jar.
Great Scott! Look at the size of that thing! (GRUNTS) I missed a spot on the ceiling when I painted the lab.
Well, see you in the future! (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, hey, look at me! I'm just like a kid whose school bus is always on time, weightless! (LAUGHS) Okay, you can turn off the anti-gravity machine.
No, no wait! Wait! Ouch!
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