Becoming Us (2015) s01e09 Episode Script

Previously on Becoming Us So are we breaking up? - Yes.
- Yeah.
Let's get this on a wall.
You want to do a gallery? How are you, are you Floyd? - I am.
- You must be.
- Hi.
- We are so happy, this is just wonderful, - wonderful.
- Good, great, good.
I'm a new girl.
I'm very happy.
You know what's missing in your life? - Nothing.
- Deep intimacy.
And a vagina is not gonna replace that.
I'm Ben, I'm sixteen years old and I'm a junior in high school.
I grew up with loving parents, I have an amazing sister and I have an awesome girlfriend named Danielle.
If I fall, you're always there to pick me up.
I've got your back.
I thought I knew exactly where my life was headed until she came along.
Her name is Carly and Carly was my dad.
What now? Camera down.
I'm a monkey.
I met Gavynn through social media.
Ben and I just started dating recently.
Make funny faces.
You can't even see my face, - there's a camera.
- I can.
We just liked each other's pictures for a really long time and I was like, "hey, yo.
We should like, video chat," so we like, video chatted and it was really cool.
Even though me and Danielle have broken up, we're still gonna be friends.
She's doing her and I'm doing me and that is totally fine with me.
I was looking at Carly's page earlier.
So, she's coming home.
Really, are you excited? I'm excited.
I hope she's happy - with it.
- Well, I mean, she's she's definitely gonna be herself now, - so she's - Oh yeah.
Gonna be a lot more happier.
- Yeah.
- What was she like before? Like, when she was a guy? Yeah.
Umm, we've we've had like, ups and downs, I guess.
Back when Carly was Charlie, um Charlie had quite a bit of problems.
Charlie drank a lot on a very daily basis.
Uh Charlie smoked about a pack a day.
Um Charlie had a lot of health-related issues and Charlie had a lot of self-destructive habits that really got in the way of us.
I mean, she she was, she was a good dad.
I just I just wish that she was kind of there more.
Like, more there for you? Just like mentally, you know? Personally, probably just didn't feel like herself, so that's - That's exactly why.
- Mainly Yes.
It's just like, it's the best thing that she's done for her and I'm I am happy about it.
Ben's definitely gone through a lot of things that normal teenagers wouldn't necessarily go through and that's kind of what brought us together even more.
Stop being so beautiful.
Like, what is up with you, man, like ? I don't - I don't know.
- Girl.
Are you and Ben broken up? Yes.
- Like, for good - It's kind of Or is this one of the like ? Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Probably, I hope so.
Like, I'm kind of happy that we're just friends.
So like, you say that you guys are just friends, right? Yeah.
- Why? - So what if I told you that he's already like, with another girl? Or at least, I don't know, he posted this picture with a girl.
Okay, um I'm gonna pull over and you have to show me that because I don't believe you.
Dude, I guess Ben's not wasting any time.
Did he just post this? Yeah.
Yeah, well I think I'm prettier.
By far.
Okay, this is like a total downgrade.
Like, you should not feel bad about this.
I don't I don't want to say it, like I don't want to He's kind of like, not that attractive, you know.
I don't know, he's like, I mean, he's cute but he's just, I don't know, I feel like maybe I could do better.
It's not like, "oh, dang," like do you think he posted that picture as like, an aim towards you, because it's literally so soon after? I don't know, I think I think that he's not really thinking about like, my feelings and I think he is expecting me to like, be hurt over it but I'm not, which is like the weird thing.
Yeah, he's probably trying to like, get a reaction out of you.
Dude, I don't even care.
Very cool, we're finally doing it.
- It's a cool spot.
- Yeah.
From what it looks like.
Definitely from the outside.
- And the - Peckish pig.
Right and the peckish pig sounds super like, alternative, - so you could be like - It sounds like, - so hipster-like.
- Right.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- I'm Emilia.
- Hi, Emilia.
How are you guys? - I'm Ben's chaperone.
I heard you want to rent space.
He's here to do his very first photo gallery.
- Oh, really? - Yes.
His own photography, he's an excellent photographer.
So we were just thinking, um that this could be a good place.
How many people are you thinking that are gonna be attending the event? Around like 40, 50.
This holds about 75 people, so I think 40 people would be good.
- There was, yeah.
- How expensive would this be? Okay, so typically this room, we rent out for $1,000.
Oh.
- All right.
Um.
- So this Couldn't have chosen a more beautiful day.
- No.
- No.
Looks like it's gonna be more alcoholics than art enthusiasts.
This is lacking a vision.
- O for 2.
- O for 2.
I think we just scared the lady in there.
- Yeah.
- Again, optimism.
Optimism.
That's that's how you gotta look at life, you've gotta think every door is open before you know it's closed.
- All right.
- Onto the next block.
Sutt? - Hi.
- Hi, Mama.
What's the matter? I have really bad news.
What? Um, I just talked to Kevin and Floyd just got diagnosed with leukemia.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Kevin's father went in for I believe he went in for a physical and they did some blood tests and um his white blood cell count came back really high, and that was really strange, so the doctors ran more tests and um they told him he had leukemia.
And um they didn't even let him go home and they admitted him into the hospital right away and they started chemo the next day.
I'm just confused, I'm just confused why this stuff has to happen and why one of the sweetest men in the world has to go through this.
That man tells me he loves me every time he sees me.
We love that girl, - we love that girl.
- We do.
- I can see why.
- Aw, guys.
And uh, he's my daddy now, too.
It's not supposed to be like this.
And I feel really weird about going along with the wedding as usual and I have to make sure that that's okay and Of course, of course you will.
Like, I feel like this, I can't even imagine what Kevin feels like.
His his dad is his best friend.
I know.
And I think they're gonna go really aggressive with treatment, which is a good thing because that means that he's strong.
- Strong enough to do it.
- Yeah, to take it.
Definitely.
It's gonna be okay because it has to be.
Ah, so many ballons.
Hey.
- Surprise.
- Oh.
What the heck? - Oh.
- What's up? - You're so sweet.
- Need any help? No.
- You okay? - Yeah.
All right.
I walk in and I see Ben standing there with all these balloons, with this big, cheesy grin on his face.
It was so cute and um it was great, it was a great way to come home.
How are you feeling down here? I'm I'm feeling good down there.
- That's good.
- All good, yep.
Aren't you sweet.
There you go.
Thank you.
Sit down with me.
How'd everything go? It's not too bad.
Yeah.
Um some things are different, obviously, but Like, I have to learn how to pee all over again.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Is it really that hard? - It's very different.
You don't just kind of like, sit down and ? Pretty much.
- Let it, let loose? - That's kind of what it's like.
Yep, kind of like that.
But even that's a little different.
See my scar? What's that from? From my Adam's apple.
Does it feel like, weird like, not having an ? No.
Did they take the whole thing out? I hope so.
No, there's No, they shave it down with a knife.
One stop shop.
Oh, stop.
It's not that bad.
Will you be like, ready for Sutton's wedding? - You mean, like dressed, or ? - Like, do you No, like will you be healed? - Yeah, probably.
- Okay.
Uh by then I should be, I would hope.
Yeah.
If you do need anything Call, and you'll be here? - I'll help you out.
- Good.
Ben's trying.
I mean, I totally appreciate that, you know.
He's constantly trying to step up.
Can I take a picture of the uh - new you? - Um It's fine with what you have on.
- Okay.
- And actually works perfectly.
Sure.
I could do that.
And just be on your phone.
- Just be on my phone? - Just do something normal.
I can cross my legs, that's a new thing in the last couple days.
Okay, now look this way.
- Hi, baby.
- Hi, baby.
Hi, how are you? I'm good, how are you? You're a sight for sore eyes.
Oh, baby.
I know, ditto.
- How you doing? - How are you? I'm okay.
Yeah? You know.
Give me some news about your dad.
You know, we're we're taking it day by day.
The chemo's doing what the chemo's doing and you know, it's killing all of the bad stuff, but it's also killing, you know, his body, so For the kind of leukemia he has, the um for the kind of leukemia he has, he gets seven days of chemotherapy through an IV, 24 hours a day.
I'm not a praying person but I've started to pray.
So, yeah.
We're just day by day, day by day.
How are things out there? Good, it just feels um I feel ridiculous being here and it feels like I should, I mean I feel ridiculous you being there, too.
I know and it feels like I should come home - and and I - I know.
I mean, I shouldn't be I should be next to you.
I think you need to stay there, I don't think that's that's not right.
Um, I don't know, you know, with the wedding and you know, I feel like, so removed from everything right now but um we my aunt Barbara called and she talked about how, what if he can't be there and like, what are we gonna do if that happens? And you know, if we should start, I honestly haven't even thought about it but I know it's like, I feel like I have to.
But Yeah, of course.
I really don't know about my dad getting better or not.
I really I really have no idea.
I'm not allowing myself to be hopeful because I don't want to be disappointed but I'm not allowing myself to be negative because I want to be hopeful.
I realize that I I I don't think postponing the wedding is is an option uh because he wants it to go forward, but I can't help but think that, how can we have a wedding without my father there? Anyway, it's it's, that's I'm not, I'm just planning, you know, contingencies but I'm not going there because if things went downhill very quickly, and things can, you know - Go back up.
- Perhaps go up, yeah.
- Yeah.
- So Well, that's what's gonna happen.
Yeah, well I hope so.
- My, oh, my.
- Alright, I'm getting This place looks pretty promising.
I'm getting some good vibes.
I'm getting some very good vibes.
Are you getting the vibes right now? I'm getting the vibes right now.
Yeah.
Hello.
- Kevin? - You guys are here - to see the space? - Yes, we are.
- Thank you so much.
- If I could just walk on in.
- Hi, I'm Michael.
- Nice to meet you, I'm Ben.
This is actually the only daylight studio in the city of Chicago.
This is gorgeous, dude.
You're basically renting an empty, white box.
And and in terms of usable walls, like could we use those walls, or is it strictly like these ones? Or like, what's the vision? Um, this whole place has been hung as a gallery.
- Yeah.
- Um I think you'd probably want to use some of the floor space to add to your uh presentation.
So before we fall too in love with the place.
- The important question is, - Ben's got some important questions to ask.
Well a, how much would it cost? You know, we try to work with emerging artists.
So my budget is gonna be 500 bucks.
Let me put it this way, if the space is available, I'd rather work with you than have you go somewhere else, how's that? All right, I like that, I like that.
I like how that sounds.
Yeah, I like how that sounds too.
That's how to work with artists.
So that was awesome.
That was really awesome, yeah.
We have a place now, - we have a date.
- Yep.
We need people now.
So, an evite.
Yeah, so you gotta make an evite and send it out to as many people as you know.
- All right.
- All right? - All right.
- Ready, break.
Okay.
I've always been searching for that one person that would completely accept me and completely understand me and there would be no problems.
I'm very blessed that that happened.
We need to find a place to live.
What is your ideal home? One with a roof.
One with a roof, okay.
There's a one-bedroom here.
Do you need two bedrooms? I don't know, do we? I don't think so.
I don't know.
I think I think we're good with one bedroom.
A lot of people, when they view a relationship that comes in together really fast and they make all these really fast decisions, that it's not that serious.
We need big closets.
Yeah, we have too much clothes.
We're already moving in together because of how much we love each other.
Although I would eventually like to get a treehouse.
- I know, right? - Right.
I am very in love with Lathan.
I'm in love with every, every single part of him.
I think about our future every day.
It's something that I haven't done with anyone else, just being able to look years ahead.
Could we just extend the kitchen out? That'd be awesome.
I finally feel I'm just a normal normal person.
Are you nervous about living with me? - Do you trust me? - I trust yes, I trust you.
I think we'll start small, not worry about anything big, just get a roof over our heads, just like you said.
That's good enough.
Yeah, something with a roof, - that would be ideal, yeah.
- And then You want to pursue your future and that's something that's really important to me.
And that's what I want to do, I want to be able to provide for you and be able to help you with your goals and to start a new life, because because I love you.
- Well, hello.
- Hello.
How you doing? Great.
Good.
I haven't seen you in awhile.
Mm-hmm, I know.
Or talked to you.
Not since coffee.
Not since coffee, right.
After the argument I had with Carly in the coffee shop, I felt empowered to get to say what I needed to say, but on the other hand, I did feel badly that it didn't really turn out very well.
I was I was just wondering how you're doing, I haven't, because I haven't talked to you.
I'm doing okay.
Do you feel different? - Do I feel different? - That's, I know - that's a funny question.
But - No, no, it's pretty cool actually.
I feel pretty much the same, you know? It definitely fits better, it feels better, it's more comfortable, it's easier.
Easier? It really is, honestly.
Which is really weird because it requires a lot of maintenance.
Uh, I mean, it really does.
Like, the phantom feelings are really weird.
Every once in awhile, it feels like there's still something there - and there's nothing there.
- Oh, really? I mean, it's super nice that Suzy reached out, I was really grateful for that but you know, it's kind of all small talk until we deal with the actual issues.
I really didn't like how our last meeting went.
I thought it was really unfortunate.
I mean, that conversation really, to me, didn't seem like it had anything to do with what we talked about.
You're just pissed and you've got a right to be.
Yeah, I was I was angry, I was very angry, for many reasons.
But doesn't change the fact that we are who we are, we've done what we've done, you know, and I wanna stay friends.
But I don't feel like me getting angry at you ends our relationship.
Well, no.
But that conversation was just kind of borderline ugly.
But I don't want that because we've got a kid to raise, and I want him to know that we're on the same page, and I want him to at least think that we're at least congenial.
And let's at least get along.
We spent 20 years together and I never not loved you.
Okay.
And you know, I really just want you to be happy.
I mean, I like you.
It was good to have a talk with her and to see how she was doing.
There was a an edge that seemed to be rounded uh, in her attitude.
Almost more peaceful or more at peace.
So I was happy to see that.
The reality is, is you know, she knows we love we really love each other.
We were together for a long time.
Because I was a big drinker for many years, that created a lot of hurt, you know.
But it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about me and I don't care about her.
Well, I'm really glad everything went well and I'm glad you were able to get what you wanted.
Nice try.
That was a good effort though.
Yeah, it's true though.
It's true.
Thanks for calling.
See ya.
Since I've gone through surgery, I am definitely happier.
Have I found inner peace? There's been way too much going on yet to find inner peace but I'm definitely happier.
I mean, it's just, you know, I said from the beginning this wasn't this wasn't gonna be a magical fix, you know? But I was gonna bring my body into more accurate alignment with what I saw for myself, and that's what I've got.
- Oh, yes.
I got it, yes.
- Oh, no.
Today was good, I'm happy.
I'm, you know, I'm just living for what I've got right now in this very moment.
Do it, do it.
This relationship is really important because he's definitely one of a kind and it's not like you can find many of those people around.
We have a real connection.
- Be your cute little self - I that you are.
Do you feel that? Like the bridge, isn't that weird? - No, I don't feel anything, honestly.
- Oh.
Will you smile for me? Life is good, Carly's good.
I don't know, I'm feeling good.
Chicago, baby, ain't no city better than it.
How's it going over there, how many people do we have? This is the people who cannot come.
Are you serious? All right, I'm gonna try to call my mom right now.
Okay, baby.
Mom.
- Ma.
- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Dad.
- Sight for sore eyes.
- Sorry, let me get this.
- Hey, how are you? - Hey, you guys.
Oh, you look great.
All 145 pounds of me.
Where did it all go? Daddy.
It was really special getting to see him home.
When we showed up to the hospital, he was in the fetal position and, you know, incapacitated.
So to see him talking and joking and, you know, albeit very weak and very tired, he was still, had his spirit in him, and that was, that was worth everything.
Do you get to eat as much as you want now? Tonight I'm gonna have a big steak - and I'll eat it all.
- Nice, good.
- So I just stay positive.
- Yep.
And at least I'm going into it strong.
- Yep.
- Are you doing okay, Sutton? Yeah, I'm fine.
We're getting, the wedding planning is all coming together and things are happening and I'll let you talk.
I just, I miss you guys, that's all.
Aww.
- We miss you too.
- We miss you.
We were preparing that there's a chance that you might not make it to the wedding.
- It's - We don't know, we just don't know, right? We just It's all up in the air, we - It's all unknown.
- Fair, that's fine.
- I mean - It's okay.
When it comes to the, when it comes to the chemo and the cancer, you know, that just comes first.
- Yeah, of course.
Oh, my god.
- Yeah, oh, Dad Dad I want I need you to know that like, you being like this, seeing you is so much better than any, than you, I don't even care if you're at the wedding.
I mean, I care but I don't care, you know? I I care, - I care that you're - We know what you mean.
You know what I mean, you know? And so I don't want you to feel any pressure, Dad.
In my heart, I know I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be at that wedding.
Look at me, I feel upbeat, the chemo is supposed to be easier.
So why can't I make it to the wedding? Yeah.
He's a very proud man and I'm very proud of him.
He's very strong, and he's a good example, an incredible father and I wanna be like him.
- We love you.
- All right, - bye bye.
- Bye guys.
- Love you guys.
- Bye, love you.
- Bye bye.
- Love you.
Thank you so much for driving me home, it's way too cold for me to be biking.
Yeah, totally.
Of course, yeah.
It is pretty cold.
- It is very cold.
- I wasn't gonna let you get frostbite on your hands, man.
Then how would you ever do homework? You could also, I don't know, throw your hat in the ring to get a driver's license.
You could start that whole process.
That Yeah.
Not that I don't love driving you around, you know, like a limo driver.
Hold on, I have a voicemail.
Voicemails from Mama.
Oh, my god.
Carly just had a heart attack.
What? I guess, you know, if I had to give any advice to anybody who's young and trans, or questioning, is Don't worry about what other people think because really, they don't matter.
This is your life, you don't owe it to anybody to be anything else.
If you allow yourself to see who you are and to witness the beauty of your life and your significance in this world, that you can find love in anyone.
And be who you need to be, because you're gonna find yourself to be much, much happier.
Uh there's a lot of people out there that will support you.
Just have a little hope because you're gonna be okay.
Oh, my god.
Carly just had a heart attack.
What? Oh, my god.
When It happened today? It just did it just happen? I don't know, I don't know anything.
Oh, my god.
I gotta call my mom back, hold on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give her a call, give her a call.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I'm on my way.
All right.
Bye.
What what did she say? She's in the ICU and I don't know.
I'm so I'm so sorry, man.
Will you please drive me to the hospital? Yeah, yeah, of course, absolutely.
I mean, ah! Well, what am what am I what am I supposed to do? I mean, you're doing it right now.
All you can do is go to the hospital and see Carly and be there for her.
All right.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
Hmm? Carly had a heart attack.
Well, is she okay? - - I don't know.
Oh, my god.
And she had a major surgery and is in the ICU.
And they had to put a stent in her heart.
Oh, my god.
Ben is freaking out.
Yeah.
I would be too.
Oh, my god.
I don't really know how to react.
I kind of get numb whenever I don't really, it's kind of a big deal.
She's having a second surgery.
That's a lot, that's a lot of strain.
Oh, boy.
Poor Ben.
I'm just stressed out.
When I receive information that's that intense, I shut down.
Carly's significant to me because she and I share so many similar experiences in terms of understanding who you are.
My whole focus is on what Carly is going through.
Oh, my god.
Her heart stopped twice on the way to the hospital.
Honestly, I don't, I I want to be able to see her, I want to be able to Expect to see her again without any complications.
If it's major - she could've died.
- So - Yeah, I know.
- She had died out like, couple times.
Makes lot of my problems right now seem so much less significant.
Yeah.
She like finally got to be who she wanted to be and then all of a sudden like, - life's like, nope.
- Yeah.
Let's just hope she makes it for Ben's sake and for her family.
Um, her heart stopped twice.
- She's aware of that? - Yeah.
She basically felt her dying.
That's wild.
Is that all she remembers or ? She threw up.
She threw up? By the time that she was in here, the heart attack started happening, so they were already working on her.
Oh, good.
And then it happened and then they were like, what, what, what, and then it happened again and then I think she threw up.
Crazy, crazy, crazy.
I'm worried, I'm concerned.
But honestly, I'm not surprised that Carly's in this physical situation.
After spending 18 years with that person and knowing how that person treated their body, um, I'm not at all surprised.
Can I go say hi? - Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Do you want to come with me or do you want to stay here for a minute? You can do what you want.
Want me to come with? Sure.
All right.
I feel the same, tired, out of it.
Really out of it.
I thought I was having a panic attack and then I realized, no I'm not having a panic attack, I'm having a heart attack.
I felt myself die.
That was a first, I've never felt that before.
You know, my breath got shallow, really shallow.
And as my breath got shallower, the sound in the room like, kind of like, closed in until it was silent.
And when it when the sound closed in and it was silent and my eyes were shut and it was just pitch black, I was like, "wow, I'm dying.
" And then I got really sad and I had this like, instant thought of you know, I wish I could've said goodbye to Ben.
That was it, it was like right after that thought, it was like paddles on the chest, you know? And I was like, off the table feeling and being shocked back and I don't know, it was really peaceful though.
It was quiet and peaceful, I was totally good.
I don't know, maybe next time I won't be so afraid of dying.
So here I am throwing a monkey wrench into our plans.
That's all the time I got.
No, you've got a lot now.
You've got a lot more now.
Yeah.
I hate the smell of hospitals.
Oh, right? - Like - Oh, my god.
Can I just cannot believe that she had a heart attack.
Like, twice, two.
- Like - I can't even, - I can't even believe it.
- Yeah.
How are you? I'm feeling a little bit better because like, knowing that she's okay, - but - Mm-hmm.
That's the relief, right? Yeah.
Is she gonna, I mean, is she gonna be able to come to the wedding? - I don't know.
- It's too much.
It's all Only time will tell.
Yeah.
That's all I can say.
- I know.
- Here we go.
- Oh, finally.
- Yeah.
I'm just tired.
I know.
I have to do this gallery tomorrow night and with her in the hospital, I don't I don't know if I should do it, you know.
Yeah.
- I know how you feel.
- So, now I gotta, now I gotta make that decision.
I know.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know, Ben.
Sorry.
- I mean, I - Look at all these people in here now.
You just needed a little more attention.
It's like I needed a little more me time.
Just a little, a little.
That's all right, this wasn't quite enough.
But I need a little bit more.
Holy guacamole.
We just got to Chicago.
I walk in and I see Carly and I have to say, it broke my heart.
Yeah, not too bad.
To think about everything she's been through and like, she needs this now on top of everything else? How do you feel? I feel okay today, really.
- I feel pretty good.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- But scary.
- It was really scary.
- Shocker, - shocker, you know? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm sure.
It definitely hit home and it made me feel differently and I thought, "I have to be more understanding and I gotta let go of the anger.
" That's like your ultimate fear.
Well mine.
You look good, yeah.
- You look good.
- Yeah, you really do.
Can I put it on this tray, is that all right? Sure, thanks.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Okay.
I don't know what the rules are.
- Aww.
- No, it's fine.
Well, a heart attack is a wakeup call.
Not just what life is about, but to take inventory of of what our priorities are and what's important to us.
Do they think it's somewhat hereditary? Oh, yeah.
He said it's definitely genetic and 30 years of smoking didn't help.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
The doctor said Carly's heart attack was a result of years of smoking and a hereditary condition, not her SRS surgery.
I just want her to take care of herself.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm glad you're sitting up.
- Me too.
That's all I've ever wanted for Charlie and now Carly, is to treat her body better.
Okay, the big question is Did I do something wrong? - Yeah? - Can you go to the wedding? - I don't know.
- Oh, boy.
- I know.
- Dun, dun, dun.
I got a dress ready and everything.
I hope so.
At the end of the day, I guess the heart attack just brought me a little bit of perspective.
And we have so many more things to be worrying about than someone's gender.
My wedding just feels like something she should be at and it really, really makes me worried about her being able to make the wedding.
Carly, I want you to know that I truly believe in you, I believe that you can rise out of this like a Phoenix.
I hope that Carly can just get through this whole heart attack and she can just come out of it stronger and healthy and be well.
Carly, I wish you the best with everything, with surgery, with your heart, with your family.
You mean so much to so many people and I hope you feel better.
We need you, we need you in this world.
I'll give her a heart that one's for you.