Best Friends Whenever (2015) s01e09 Episode Script

I feel really good about us picking out each other's Halloween costumes this year.
I feel like I lost a bet.
I did a pretty good Chainsaw Chelsea though, right? It was like you were acting like you wanted to slice people with a chainsaw, but you didn't really want to slice people with a chainsaw.
I don't want to slice people with a chainsaw.
And that's what was coming through for me.
All right, give me your best Cuddle Bunny impression.
And make it really cuddly.
Uh-durr.
I really wanna hug you.
Sounds like you're mocking it.
Oh good, I was afraid it wasn't going to come through.
Why'd we get dressed up anyway? We're not going anywhere.
And poor Diesel went through all the trouble to look like a crazed muskrat.
He's not wearing a costume.
And yet he's nailing crazed muskrat.
I'm totally posting this one.
Oh, wow.
It's already flagged for extreme content.
That was quick.
Whoa.
This is where we should be, New York's Central Park Spooktacular.
It has the scariest haunted house in the country.
Kids are going there from all over.
Wisconsin, Chicago, Miami.
Why do you want to go someplace scary? You know you have that thing when you get scared.
What thing? Oh, fear punching.
Yeah, I totally have that thing.
But I wanna go to the Spooktacular so bad.
But we can't.
We have to hand out candy because Mom and Dad took Bret and Chet trick and treating.
It's trick or treating.
Not the way Bret and Chet do it.
Besides, we can't go to the Spooktacular.
It's 3,000 miles away.
I mean, sure, we'd go if we could magically travel across the country instantaneously.
But we have the power to time travel, not the power to teleport.
I've invented the power to teleport! It's a Halloween miracle! What do you mean you invented the power to teleport? Barry, it's a Cuddle Bunny.
If you catch one, they have to tell you where their cave of fruity cereal is.
Where is it? Where's the fruity cereal? I don't know what you're talking about.
I hate the Cuddle Bunny show.
I don't understand the mythology.
There's no leaves on these carrots! I know you're not a Cuddle Bunny.
I just like pretending Halloween is real.
Like this Chainsaw Chelsea! Don't bury me in your cave of fruity cereal! I also like pretending all cartoon characters have caves of fruity cereal.
Good talk, Naldo.
See ya.
Synapses fire.
Memory jogged.
And You invented teleportation? After experimenting on the tachyon particles you two created when you jumped to the '70s, I made some adjustments to the laser and I believe it can now teleport objects.
And I'm prepared to test it on this rat That just wandered into my lab.
How many times do I have to tell you, Diesel is a dog.
Saying something a bunch of times doesn't make it true.
But if you prefer, we can experiment on this kiwi.
Yes! Yes! I did it! I teleported the kiwi! Now, where did I teleport the kiwi? Sweet shuds! I not only teleported the kiwi, I transformed it into a tomato.
Oh, no, this tomato was already in my pants.
Why is everybody looking at me like they need an explanation? Hey, what's this kiwi doing in my pants? I invented teleportation.
Next stop, Sweden.
I'm going to teleport myself to the Nobel Prize offices in Stockholm, and they'll award me the Nobel on the spot.
You're not gonna accept the Nobel Prize in a hoodie, are you? Of course not.
I'm going to wear the tuxedo I bought when I was six and I planned to win the Nobel Prize.
You planned to win the Nobel Prize when you were six? No, I planned to win the Nobel Prize when I was 15.
When I was six, I got a screamin' deal on a tux.
So we're gonna teleport to the Central Park Spooktacular in New York, right? Yeah, we are.
This thing's got a setting for New York.
It's right between Stockholm and Naldo's pants.
That's exactly where New York is.
Hey, Naldo.
Could you pass out candy at our house, while we're gone? Can't say no to a question.
You're the best, Naldo.
Come on, let's teleport! To New York! Good luck, guys.
It's still experimental.
Hope you don't explode.
Wait, what? We made it.
The Central Park Spooktacular.
I'm so glad we're here.
I'm so glad we remembered to change the dial from Naldo's pants.
Time for Barry Eisenberg to finally take his place as a Nobel Prize winning What happened? Where are the girls? They're somewhere between my pants and Stockholm.
They're in New York? The laser is still experimental, I hope Shelby and Cyd are okay.
They're better than okay.
Judging by the pictures on the Spooktacular photo stream, they're having the time of their lives.
Oh, well, in that case, I can't believe those chuckleheads got the first teleportation trip and fried my laser.
Don't forget, Barry, they're also time travelers.
Those chuckleheads took that from you, too.
But I've got something that'll cheer you up.
We get to hand out Halloween candy at Shelby and Cyd's.
You know I hate Halloween.
But this year, I'm gonna make you love it.
Impossible.
Halloween is all about spooky scares, and as a man of science, I know that all that ghost and goblin nonsense is not real.
Hence, I cannot be scared by it.
So you're saying if I can scare you, you'll like Halloween? I didn't say that.
So you're saying if I'm scary enough, Halloween will be your most favorite holiday? I didn't say that.
So you're saying some mitochondrial proteins are encoded with nuclear DNA.
Well, I have said that.
Challenge accepted! By the end of tonight, you'll be terrified into loving Halloween or elves.
Did you say, "Or elves"? That's not the expression.
Oh, really? Then what's the expression for when you're trying to decide between one thing and elves? I'm so glad we came here.
This haunted house is amazing.
These cheese tots are amazing.
Paula really knows what she's doing.
Are you on a first name basis with the cheese tot lady? I call everyone who gives me cheese tots "Paula.
" Like Paula at the mall.
You mean Carol? That's the Paula I'm talkin' about.
I wonder what this room Shelbs, calm down.
It's just a stuffed bear.
How do you know? Maybe he's a clever bear just lying in wait.
And when we least expect it Bear! Okay, that was scary.
Thanks for not fear punching me.
You are not Cyd.
What's fear punching? I think I just found out.
Sorry, I hit you.
When the lights went off, I just started swinging.
I'm Cyd.
Well, sorry, I'm just a little on edge.
You know, from being brutally assaulted by a Cuddle Bunny, bearing the magic carrot crest of Hop-a-long Forest.
I'm guessing.
What're you talking about? You love Cuddle Bunnies.
You watch it every day.
Which is probably what you are embarrassed about.
Which is probably why you said you're guessing.
Totally on your wavelength.
I'm Riley.
I'm Lucas.
I'm Shelby.
I'm Leopold gransby! And you are the latest victims to be trapped in my escape room! This is so fun.
I've never been locked In an escape room before.
Well, we were locked in that future lab that we time traveled to.
What? What? I mean regular teen girls.
Hidden in this room are five keys.
You must find them all to unlock the door.
Five locks on one door? Welcome to New York.
But beware, if you fail to find the keys, you will become the newest spirits in my collection.
I love that laugh.
It's creepy when my dentist does it, but that painting makes it work.
Okay, you guys.
These escape rooms are really just big puzzles.
We have to solve the clues to find the keys.
Cyd and I will take this side of the room.
Cyd and I will take this side of the room.
Guys, I've seen a lot of horror movies, and it's never a good idea to split up.
Oh, right, we're in the same room.
It's probably all right.
Hey, guys.
I think there's a key in here.
If something doesn't open easily, it's not designed to be opened.
I'll show you what's not designed to be opened.
It was this.
This was not designed to be opened.
One for the ghost, one for the witch, and two for the teenager, who claims he's a werewolf on a moonless night.
I can't tell if you are a stickler for werewolf lore or you're just making a mockery of Halloween.
Either way, I applaud you.
Well, we're out of candy.
I guess Halloween's over.
Don't worry.
I'll just fly over to the pantry and get some more.
Renaldo, would you cut that out? It wasn't funny the first three times.
That's why I have to do it six more times.
It's the comedy rule of nines.
Ahhh! My legs! They ripped off! My legs ripped off! At least I still have this jet pack.
It's the only reason I haven't fallen over yet! Renaldo, I'm not gonna fall for this lame attempt to scare me into liking Halloween.
Fine.
Oh, no, Barry.
I'm running out of fuel.
I'm going down.
I'm going down! Barry, don't look.
It's too awful.
Anybody find any keys? Anybody find any clues? I found this jar of pickles.
Why would somebody leave a jar of pickles in here? Welcome to New York.
You know, I could actually go for a pickle right now.
Or maybe I'll just look for clues.
Guys, all of those clocks are set to 12:15.
Maybe it's a clue.
Or maybe there's something inside the clocks.
No, it's a clue.
Hey, this clock isn't set to 12:15 No! One key down, four more to go.
Cyd, you dropped the key.
I didn't drop it.
It's like it went right through my hand.
Shelby, wait Hey, another key.
For a scary bear, he was really helpful.
Thank you, scary bear.
Where is Shelby and Cyd? Shelbs! Shelbs! Wait! Cyd, we did it.
We're out of the escape room.
Well, let's buy a couple more cheese-tots and choke 'em down before we jump back home.
Hey Paula, pop me a double! Shelby, those cheese-tots just went right through me.
That's what happens when you buy food from a cart.
No.
They went through me.
Maybe that's how we got out of the house.
What, you mean like we went through the walls? Is that even possible? Naldo said Barry's teleportation laser was experimental.
Maybe the laser did this to us? All right, it's gonna be okay.
We're time travelers.
We could just jump back to before we teleported and not get zapped.
Shelby, if we can't touch each other, we can't time travel.
Or hug! Well, we are out of candy, but I did find batteries, toilet paper, and little boxes of soaps.
Kids don't like these things, but they need them.
Barry! Help! A giant spider caught me! I'm tangled in his web! Nice try, Renaldo, but there are no spiders big enough to capture a human, therefore I am not frightened.
Seriously, Barry! This isn't a joke! You have to get out of here! The spider's coming! Now the spider's eating Diesel's food.
Ahhh! This is terrible! Still not scared.
Now the spider needs to go do his business in the yard! Aw, man, Shelby's gonna kill me if that spider does his business in the house.
Lucas, I'm serious, where did Shelby and Cyd go? They couldn't have left.
The door's still locked.
It's a haunted house.
Maybe they're a part of it.
Or maybe they're ghosts.
As a ghost, I do not find that funny.
If we ever get out of here, I am never making a ghost joke again.
You make ghost jokes? What's up a ghost's nose? Boo-gers! Cyd, never stop telling that joke.
It is awesome.
Okay, Riley and Lucas can't see us, but if we can communicate with them, they can get in touch with Barry, and he can reverse this.
Hey, I found the fourth key in this book.
Very impressive, Lucas.
How'd you know it was in there? Well, it's the only one not glued to the shelf.
Plus it's called The Fourth Key.
And all the other ones are called Not This One.
A little less impressive.
Oh, no! They only have to find one more key and they're outta here.
If they leave the Spooktacular, we could lose them in the city.
And then we'll be stuck as ghosts forever.
And I'm in a Cuddle Bunny costume.
What am I supposed to do when I haunt kids? Uh-durr! Still sounds like you're mocking it.
I am! Did that thing fall over by itself? Cyd, you just knocked that thing over.
How did you do that? I don't know.
I just got really mad and focused on hitting something.
Well, maybe that's it.
If we just really focus, we can move stuff.
Maybe that's how we can communicate with them.
What was that? It's working.
It's Cyd and Shelby! Why do I smell cheese-tot breath even though neither of us had cheese tots? These effects are not bad.
They still think it's part of the haunted house.
We gotta do something.
We gotta do something big.
I'm way ahead of you.
That's your idea of going big? I don't know.
I've never been a ghost before.
This is weird, right? A bouillon cube for you.
A bouillon cube for you.
And a bouillon cube for you.
Now all you need to do is find a house that's giving out boiling water, and you are set for soup.
How's it going, Barry? Renaldo, let me ask you a question.
If I were to give you a box of baking soda in lieu of candy, how would you respond? I'd kick you in the shins.
So, that is the right response.
I owe seven kids an apology.
Where did you get that bowl of candy? I saved this candy for us.
Want a piece? That depends.
Are you going to reach through the hole in the bottom of the bowl and grab my hand in an attempt to scare me? No.
I guess you were right, Barry.
I'm never gonna scare you.
Before I go, I suppose I should leave a note.
"Dear Mr.
and Mrs.
Marcus, "Your daughter Shelby is in New York without permission.
"Please keep that in mind when you realize "I have given away all of your stuff.
Signed, Renaldo.
" Barry! Help! Help! I'm being abducted by aliens! There's no way you're being abducted by aliens.
See, Renaldo, this is why I didn't want to accept your challenge.
I knew you would go all out and it would be for naught.
If it makes you feel any better, though, it's not on you.
I'm just impossible to scare.
Renaldo? Oh, my gosh.
What a rush! I see it now! You were right! You win! I love Halloween! Scare me again, Renaldo! Scare me again! Hey, Barry, who're you talking to? And thank you.
Thanks.
Wait, if I'm not in that chair, who is? Another key! It flew out of the chair while you were spinning it.
I wasn't spinning it.
Just take the credit, Lucas.
It's actually the second key.
You found them out of order.
But you know, it's cool.
Oh, no.
Why did I spin that chair? Come on.
Let's get out of here.
No! Stop! You can't just leave us here! We're time travelers, not ghosts.
I mean, regular teen girls.
Riley, what are you talking about? Come on, let's go.
I'm in control of Riley.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have pushed you.
We'll go when you're ready.
Cyd, this might be the answer.
We can't touch to time travel because we don't have human bodies.
So all we have to do is possess their bodies like you just did.
Great.
Come on, get into Lucas.
I have to admit, I'm really confused by that.
Hey, I'm really sorry.
I know we don't know each other that well and I don't have your permission and this is really rude of me, but I kind of need to Lucas doesn't care.
That's hurtful.
I care about a lot of things.
Here goes.
I'm in.
It took you long enough, Shelbs.
Now let's go.
Wait, while I'm a dude, there's one thing I gotta do.
It just pops right off.
Nice one, Shelbs.
Now, let's get out of here.
Whoa, that was crazy.
This is the coolest haunted house ever.
Time is up! You have failed to unlock the door! You will be trapped in my library forever! Please exit to your left so the next group can enter.
Did your body feel really strange like a minute ago? I think that's just a part of growin' up.
Next stop, Sweden.
I'm going to teleport myself to the Nobel Prize offices in Stockholm.
And they'll award me the Nobel on the spot.
We're gonna destroy that laser, right? Oh, yeah.
Ah! My laser.
What are you doing? Guys, it's not dangerous.
It just puts kiwis in your pants.
Trust us.
We're from the future.
It turned us into ghosts.
Oh, please.
If it turned you into ghosts, I'd be able to reach right through you.
Hands off the carrots, bub.
Now, I know why people are afraid of ghosts.
Guess what I found.
A crossover episode of The Cuddle Bunnies and Chainsaw Chelsea! Our two favorite things coming together to make something even better.
Oh, my carrots, what happened to you, Scott Scarecrow? Looks like you lost your head.
Guess who, cuddle bunny? Oh, Chainsaw Chelsea! Hop of the evening to you.
Eat steel! Look at that stuffing fly! Joke's on her.
Cutting Cuddle Bunny in half just makes two Cuddle Bunnies.