Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s01e09 Episode Script

Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola Let me introduce my oldest son Chukwuemeka.
You can call me Chuey.
You can call him Chukwuemeka.
I want you to know, if this works out, I will allow you to keep your job.
Thank you.
As long as dinner is on the table when I come home, there's no problem.
(LAUGHS) Oh, I think there is a problem.
Yes, Auntie, I know, he's very polite and successful - Bob? - and young and handsome.
Not Bob.
Okay, Auntie, I must go.
I am in the middle of surgery.
Okay.
Okay.
Auntie, my patient is close to death.
Okay.
And goodbye.
Ugh.
I wish she would stay out of my business.
She's a very nosy woman.
Now, who is this young and handsome man? Remember the pharmacist I told you about? - Chukwuemeka? - Chukwa-who? Chukwuemeka.
In Nigeria it's a very common name.
Get out of here.
Yes.
There are many famous Chukwuemekas.
- Chukwuemeka Onyemachi.
- Chukwuemeka Ojukwu.
- Chukwuemeka Nwadike.
- Chukwuemeka Woke.
Okay, I believe you.
Anyway, what's going on with your Chukwuemeka? His mother asked my auntie to give him a second chance, but I don't really like him.
You don't need to like him.
He's Nigerian, young, handsome, virile, and a pharmacist at the CVS.
How do you know he's virile? Are you deaf? He's Nigerian.
What about Bob? I don't know.
Now that his mother had a stroke, he has more important things on his mind.
Well, if he's snoozing, he's losing.
I heard that on the Seinfeld.
Jerry said it to Kramer.
Honey, you need to think of this like a horse race.
Let Bob and Chukwa-whatever run around the track and see which one pulls ahead.
There is no race.
I'm not the Kentucky Derby.
Ooh, we should make bets.
I will give you three-to-one odds on the Bob.
Are you crazy? I ain't betting against no African in a footrace.
Four-to-one.
Now you got a bet.
Chupacabra could pull a hammy.
Excuse me, you are discussing my life.
If you want a piece of this, show me the money.
Jerry Maguire.
It's his catchphrase.
("IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING) BOB: Ow! Damn it, Mom! What happened? I tried to eat one of her carrots and she stabbed me with a fork.
Let me see.
Oh, she didn't break the skin.
Still hurts.
Serves you right for stealing food from a handicapped person.
Did she sleep through the night? She got up twice to pee and we made it to the bathroom once.
She'll get better.
I hope so.
I'm so tired, I'm gonna cry.
You American men and your sensitive feelings.
It's a figure of speech.
Whatever it is, it is very unattractive.
Don't say it again.
Sorry.
I have a short break this afternoon.
If your brother or sister could stay with your mom, maybe we can get some tea.
I wish I could.
I got meetings stacked up all day.
Oh, okay, well, maybe another time.
Um, excuse me, I'll go check on your mother.
Hey, tell her I went for a tetanus shot.
I'll tell her you cry like a girl.
Hello, Mrs.
Wheeler.
How are you feeling? Pretty good.
Look, I'm eating with my dead arm.
- Wonderful.
- Yeah.
Next step, clapping.
How did you sleep? Like half a log.
I don't know what that means.
Mm, don't worry about it.
- So what's going on with you and my son? - Oh.
We are both very busy people.
This is not the time.
Well, make the time.
Otherwise, you're gonna end up like me, a lonely old woman with a faded tramp stamp.
I've seen it.
It's a beautiful butterfly.
Yeah, well, right now it looks like it's trying to fly out of my adult diaper.
Listen, Abishola.
You can't wait for Bob, you can't wait for any man.
Live your life.
That's good advice.
Thank you.
And we'll still be friends either way.
- Of course.
- (GASPS) As a matter of fact, when I get better, I'm gonna take you on one of those mother-daughter cruises.
- What about your daughter? - Eh.
You'll love it.
They've got gambling, dance contests, costume nights.
(GASPS) I could go as Angelina Jolie and you could be one of my orphans.
(LAUGHTER) Stop it.
Abishola, look who came to visit.
Of course.
Chukwuemeka, hello.
Hello, Abishola.
Eh, Chukwuemeka is checking my blood pressure for free.
Which is a little high, Uncle.
That's because he eats too many biscuits and cookies.
- Oh, no, you need to cut back.
- You hear that? He's not a doctor.
He's just a pharmacist.
Move over, let Abishola sit down.
Here, sit.
Sit.
If you'd like, I could take your blood pressure next.
- Oh, no, thank you.
I'm okay.
- Come on.
Let's give the young people some privacy.
Put that down.
What is the point of living if you can't have a cookie? So, how have you been? Oh, very good.
And you? Good.
Listen, Abishola, last time I was here, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.
Well, perhaps.
Which is why I brought you a gift for your feet.
Dr.
Scholl's therapeutic insoles.
Very thoughtful.
We also sell the CVS generic brand, but I brought you the real thing.
Thank you.
I hope you can forgive me.
You do not need my permission to pursue your career.
That is correct.
I do not.
I apologize for my stupid arrogance.
Like these insoles, I only want to provide you with all-day comfort and support.
Thank you.
I accept your apology.
Abishola, when a man becomes a pharmacist, he takes an oath to devote himself to a lifetime of service to others.
One day, I hope I'm lucky enough to make an oath like that to a woman like you.
Okay.
Um You can take my blood pressure.
- Hey, Bob, you got a minute? - What's up? - It's about Mom.
- She stab you, too? - She stabbed you? - I stole a carrot, my fault.
What do you need? I'm worried Mom's not being properly cared for.
What are you talking about? We got Abishola and the three of us.
Yeah, but Abishola's part-time, and we're needed here, running this company.
We're running this company? Really, is that what we're doing? I'm gonna ignore that because you're exhausted and I love you.
You don't have to ignore it, you can learn from it.
I did some research, and our company insurance policy covers Mom going into a top-shelf aftercare facility.
You want to put our mother in a nursing home? It's way better than that.
It's more like a hotel for old sickly people.
A Club Med-icare, if you will.
No.
It's never gonna happen.
- (PHONE RINGING) - I got to grab this.
Why don't you get on out there and run our company.
Don't be angry at me.
I am not the enemy, Mom is.
What's going on? Hello, Bob.
Uh, I was hoping that you and I could sit down soon and discuss a plan for your mother's physical therapy.
- That sounds good.
- Hey.
Hang on.
- What are you doing here? - Um, I work here? It's your day to take care of Mom.
No, it's Abishola's.
I'm talking to Abishola right now.
Are you at the house? No.
I'm on my way to the hospital.
Mom is all by herself right now.
So I should probably get over there? Yes! Okay, calm down.
Her phone's right by her side, and Siri can kind of understand her now.
Go! Sorry.
What were we talking about? Uh, physical therapy? Is your mother okay? - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Hang on a second.
Yeah? Sorry to interrupt, but your sister is on the warehouse floor "helping.
" Aw, damn.
I got to call you back.
Please hurry.
His brother and sister are quite a burden on him.
Oh, too bad.
If only you were being pursued by a younger, more suitable man.
Stop it.
Okay.
(SIGHS) I can hear what you are thinking.
Maybe we are both thinking it.
- (ORGAN PLAYING) - (CONGREGATION MURMURING) Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Someone is sitting there.
Who? The CVS Employee of the Month.
I'll give you a hint.
It rhymes with "hookwa-take-a.
" I was starting to worry.
- Where were you? - Chukwuemeka wanted to stop and get Abishola a gift.
It is a bag of sunglasses.
Thank you.
Foster Grants, polarized.
ABISHOLA: Very nice.
Just promise me you won't use them to hide your beautiful eyes.
(LAUGHING): I won't.
Slow it down, you two.
We're in a church.
And I brought this handsome young man a football that's a Nerf.
Thank you.
It's soft, so you can kick it around the house and not break anything.
If he kicks it around the house, I will kick him around the house.
But thank you, very kind.
Praise the Lord! CONGREGATION: Hallelujah! Welcome, my brothers and sisters, friends old and new.
We thank you, Jesus, for this beautiful morning where we can gather together.
(CONGREGATION CLAMORING) Today, I'd like to talk to you about faith.
Faith This is going wonderfully.
So it seems.
What's wrong? Something about this Chukwuemeka rubs me the wrong way.
Well, he's not here to rub you.
- What about Bob? - What about him? I thought that was the match we were making.
That was before we had a Nigerian man.
We were beggars, now we are choosers.
Okay, you know best.
I do.
I really do.
BOB: Aw, come on, throw the ball! Can't you hear the 350-pound man coming at you? That quarterback's arm is worse than mine right now.
Drinking in front of me is kind of a dick move.
Sorry.
Can I ask you a question? Sure.
What are you doing here? What do you mean? I'm taking care of you.
Oh, Douglas or what's her name? - Christina? - Don't tell her I forgot.
One of them could sit here with me.
You should be with Abishola.
She's a special girl, Bob.
Yeah, she is.
She kind of reminds me of myself when I was younger.
Really? A single mom working seven days a week and looking hot every step of the way.
And you know where you can stick that "really"? Sorry.
Go on, call her.
You'll be okay? Yeah.
I got my bedpan, I got my football.
And you're gonna leave me that beer.
So, did you like the sermon? To be honest, I wasn't listening.
Huh, why not? I was too distracted.
There was an angel sitting next to me.
(LAUGHS) Chukwuemeka.
- Too much? - Yes.
(PHONE RINGING) Excuse me.
- Hello, Bob.
Everything okay? - Yeah.
I was just calling to say hello.
Oh, hello.
- How you doing? - Um, I'm a little busy right now I'm at church.
Oh, sure.
Sunday.
You know, we never talked about that.
Uh, what's your religion? I'm Christian.
- What did you think? - Oh, uh, I don't know.
Uh, the other one? It's not important.
Um, I have to go, Bob.
Oh, well, maybe we can talk later? - Yes, maybe.
- When? I'll call you.
Oh, good, okay.
- Goodbye, Bob.
- Bye.
Abishola? Yeah.
What's going on with you two? Nothing.
We're kind of in a holding pattern.
- Waiting to land.
- Yeah.
- Before you run out of fuel.
- I guess.
And you crash in a big ball of fire and everyone dies? Why don't you go check on Mom? One sec.
Ready.
I see that you and my niece are getting along very well now.
Yes, we are.
Good, because at first, she hated you.
That was my fault.
Oh, how so? I forgot we are in America.
Women here have to believe they're in charge of their lives.
Yeah, Abishola is very independent.
She was all alone.
She had to be.
But from now on, she'll have a strong man who can make decisions for her.
She's very lucky.
But she doesn't know that.
And we won't tell her.
No, we won't.
Excuse me, I must thank the pastor for his wonderful sermon.
What a bag of douche.
(PHONE RINGING) Hello? UNCLE TUNDE: Bob, it's me.
Me who? Tunde.
Oh, hi.
What's up? We need to talk.
Okay, uh, you want to come by the office tomorrow? No, right now.
Now? I am in a van outside your house listen.
(CAR HORN HONKS) That was me.
Well, hang on, I'll be right there.
- Oh, and, Bob? - Yeah? Bring cookies.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, I got it! Fig Newtons? I-I was hoping for something chocolate.
It's all I had.
All right.
So, what's going on? You need to know another man is courting my niece.
Really? Yes, and he's better than you in every possible way.
Every way? Younger, Nigerian.
And forgive me for saying, more traditionally handsome.
Yep, that's every way.
But I am still on Team Bob.
Thank you.
I don't want to lose you.
That's very kind.
Do you have a plan? - Not really.
- Well, get one! All right, I'll do that.
Good, because there is one way you are better than this man.
And it's right here.
Thank you.
Your heart.
- I got that.
- Okay.
I have to go.
Get out.
Okay, I'm going.
- Bob? - Yeah? You never saw me.
Saw who? Me, Tunde.
- Goodbye.
- Ah bye.
Hmm.
The second one is better.
If you have any questions about this prescription, please feel free to call.
Good Lord, that is a beautiful man.
Next, please.
Hi, I was wondering if this is as good as the name-brand stuff.
Oh, yes, they both have the same active ingredient, but our store brand is 40% less.
Yeah, I'm not so much concerned about cost.
Does it taste the same? 'Cause I like the regular Pepto.
I don't have stomach problems, but I have been told it has the same pink chalky flavor.
Okay, good to know.
Have you seen a doctor about your stomach? You don't want to use this stuff to hide an ulcer.
That's great advice.
I'll-I'll make an appointment.
(PHONE RINGS) Excuse me.
Damn it, I love this guy.
CVS Pharmacy.
Can you please hold? Is there anything else, sir? No, just this.
Do you have a club card? - No.
- That's okay.
I have one I'll use it for you, and get you even more savings.
Thank you.
That's very kind.
It is my pleasure.
Hey, do you guys sell compression socks here? Oh, yes.
MaxDot.
The best money can buy.
(GROANS) Yeah, pink and chalky.
Handsome son of a bitch was right.
Your mother finished all her lunch.
Great.
Why are you drinking that? Just a little tummy issue.
Could be an ulcer.
But whatever, I'm fine.
Is there blood in your stool? What? No! It will look hard and black.
Yeah, I don't want to talk about my stool.
All right.
I was thinking about taking your mother out for some fresh air.
Would you like to join us? Uh maybe another time.
I'm a little busy right now.
- Oh, we could wait.
- Nah, you guys go ahead.
Bob, is something wrong? Nope.
All good.
Bob.
All right, look.
I know all about this Chewbacca guy.
Chukwuemeka.
And how do you know about him? I'm not at liberty to say.
Uncle Tunde? Well th This is the thing.
You and this guy have a lot more in common than you and I ever will.
And you probably should go for it.
I should go for it? Yeah, I mean, if it makes you happy.
So, you just throw in the blanket? Towel.
Don't correct me! And do not tell me how to live my life.
Look, I didn't mean it like that.
I was just trying to be supportive.
When you care for someone, you fight for them.
You don't just give up.
Okay, now I have an ulcer.
(MAN GRUNTS ON TV) What have you done? The right thing.
Bob is the better man and I stand by him, no matter the consequences.
Come on in.
Thank you.