Carrier (2008) s01e09 Episode Script

This program was made possible by the corporation for public broadcasting, and by contributions to your PBS station from it's a long road to paradise and oh, I feel the pain they tell me things are different now but I still hurt the same haze gray and under way a world away from you and miles and miles of blue Being on deployment really isn't all that bad.
It's a lot of fun.
You know, you get to do a lot, you get to see a lot, you get to see the world, but you don't get to see your family.
Who or what do I miss most while I'm out on deployment? Well, if you ask my family, if I said anything other than my dogs, they'd know I was lyin'.
Um, but really, the honest answer is my family.
I miss my car.
It's kind of messed up to say I miss my car; I miss my wife too.
I sent my son home to my parents in Phoenix, um, in July of last year.
And we didn't actually leave for deployment until may.
So two months into cruise, he had already been gone for a year, and that's hard.
I miss food the most.
I lost 15 pounds because I can't get in my own kitchen and cook.
What's on the menu this time for when I come home? We're having oxtails and rice, collard greens, cornbread, sweet potato pie, peach cobbler, and if I'm lucky, I'll get a pot of gumbo on the side too.
I had a girlfriend when I left.
I had a girlfriend for about five years.
It turned out she couldn't quite wait as long as I thought.
I just want it over.
I want to go home.
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I cried the day I went to boot camp.
A 21-year-old man, in my rack, crying.
So I'm like, "OK, I'm gonna think the worst, and if it doesn't happen, it's better than I thought.
" One, two, three.
Three.
One, two, three.
Four.
The first week sucked.
No sleep for three days.
Learning how to walk around and figure out what the hell is going on.
I'm like, "oh, man, what'd I get myself into?" One, two, three.
Six.
One, two, three.
Seven.
After the second week, I'm like, "OK, this is a game.
It's a mind game.
I can play this.
" It's just an on and off switch you had to turn on, turn it off when you needed to.
You just couldn't let it get to you.
And some people let it, and other people didn't, you know? One, two, three.
Three.
I didn't break.
Getting out of boot camp, and it came out pretty good.
It was a very good decision for me.
Fourteen eight.
Fourteen eight.
We're good to go.
Everything's set up.
We got a little rudder play on the left rudder.
Ok.
I had Oligark look at it already.
He said it's good to go.
He just greased it up.
Ok.
Marine Corps is definitely my family.
Uh, my own family is pretty messed up.
I was left at a carnival I know that sounds pretty funny, but I was left at a carnival when I was three.
Um, my biological parents were carnies that worked on the show, and they took off and took my sister with them and left me there with a guy that I call Uncle ed.
When you ask about my biological parents, if I knew 'em or remembered 'em, I'd tell you now, if I ever saw them I'd, I'd beat the living out of them.
The things that I remember as a three-year-old are ridiculous.
There's so much anger at the stuff that my parents hold.
And now that I'm a father, that comes back and haunts me.
I sit, looking at pictures my son, and I go, OK, I'm gonna be a good dad.
My biological parents were drug addicts.
My adoptive dad had a battle with alcohol.
My biggest fear is turning into the person that That I came from.
Flying all around him pray to the waters to get us home flying all around him Everybody on this ship, if they don't have a little get-home-itis right now, they're numb.
You know, but I'm lt.
Lonnie Fields, San Diego, California, born and raised.
I got a little get-home-itis being away from your family.
And starting to get close to the arrival time, the get-home-itis starts to pick up.
I can't wait to get home.
I can't wait to be on land.
I just want to drive my car.
You know, I want to do I want to go do something on the beach with my family.
There's some anticipation, some anxiety.
You don't know what to expect.
You know, it's gonna be like hugs and kisses when you get there, and then, ten minutes later, when all the show is gone, it's like, "OK, got this new dude back in the house, trying to run things.
" You know, so it's gonna be interesting.
Maybe I better take a class.
You know, they got these classes.
You go there so you can work back into the family, you know? I'll probably need to go attend one of those.
I'm married, I have two kids, Lonnie Fields III, 11, and Maya Alejandra Fields.
She's six.
Actually, she's seven.
I missed her birthday again.
My wife's name is Cynthia Vargas-Fields.
She couldn't get rid of that Vargas.
Even though I had her in a headlock for two and half hours, she still wouldn't give it up, so I just love them dearly, and that's one of the reasons why I'm out here doing what I do.
But it's really hard for me, you know, to miss my son's football games or taking that little girl somewhere.
So I'm missing those good moments with the children.
Hello.
What's up? Nothing.
What are you doing? I'm just chilling.
Where you at? We're getting ready to go to the air show.
Oh, really? They kind of excited about it? Hold on.
Why? Hold on, hold on.
All right.
Hey Dada.
What's going on? Um, nothing much, really.
Nothing much! Aren't you going to the air show? What's up? Yes, sir.
You guys, what are you guys gonna go see? The Blue Angels and some other planes and all that stuff? Yes, sir.
Are you, you ready to come out to Hawaii? Yes, sir.
Are you sure? Yes, sir.
Mm-hmm, are you excited? Yes, sir.
Very much.
I love you.
When bear gets there Yeah.
You're gonna have to talk to him about Holly.
Ok.
You're gonna have to like, bring it out of him, because he's Is he bottling it up or something right now? He's been kind of like, really cruel to everybody around him.
And we talked about it yesterday and I told him, I said, "I think you're angry about a lot of different things, and I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from.
And we need to talk about these things.
But we need your help.
" And he admitted He's like, "I dot know.
I just don't know what to think about it, and I don't want to think about it because it hurts.
" He said that? Yeah.
He doesn't want to talk about Holly.
He doesn't want to think about Holly.
I'll talk to him.
I think he'll be He'll be a little better when he comes out here with me.
So what about you? You been good? Of course I've been good! I'm always good.
All right, I'll call.
All right, love you.
I love you too.
Bye.
Bye.
Ahh! At the end of deployment, we have tiger cruise.
Friends and family of crew members get to come out and ride the boat home with us for the five days that we transit.
I think a lot of people don't have a true understanding of what life's like out here.
It's amazing what we can accomplish on a daily basis.
I mean, we are our own little floating city, and I think that's gonna amaze a lot of people.
Everybody's like, "oh, you're in the Navy.
You know, you go to all these foreign ports.
" But that's just such a small part of what it is that we do.
There's a lot of sacrifice out here.
So I think that's what they'll take away.
Hello? Happy anniversary, baby.
I love you.
How's Aidan doing? Aidan's asleep right now.
He's asleep? Oh, no, he's awake now.
Did you hear him? Yeah, I heard him.
He was like, "uuh.
" Are you doing OK? The days are dragging now.
I just want to get home.
It just sucks.
You know, hearing Aidan, not seeing him.
Getting home, don't know what to expect.
You know, my hands will probably be shaking like a leaf.
It's been trying with the baby.
But I'm sure everything will be fine when you get home.
I just hope you'll be able to get along with him.
I'm sure you will.
He's really adorable.
Are you there? I'm here.
I love you.
I love you too, baby.
Well, I got to get going in case All right, baby, I'll let you.
Ok, baby.
And give Aidan a kiss for me.
Take care, please.
All right, I will.
Love you.
Love you.
Bye sweetie.
Love you too.
Bye.
Bye.
What I miss the most about being on deployment is, is my wife and my kids.
Uh, this is the fourth year in a row that I've missed my birthday, the second Or, I'm sorry, the third year, out of four, that I've missed my son's birthday.
The second anniversary that I've missed.
I've missed every mother's day since I've been on the ship except one.
Uhh, that's very hard to take.
I miss home.
I miss my family the most.
Family.
I miss being at home.
Take a nice hot bath.
My own bed.
I miss my son the most.
Being able to go out after work.
Freedom.
Quiet.
I miss good food.
Chocolate pop tarts.
Going to McDonald's.
Good food.
McDonald's.
I miss pizza.
I like pizza.
I miss land.
I miss working in my yard.
I miss very much the sound of birds.
That was never something that I really thought about very much, but I I sure do now.
If she wasn't here, I would miss her more than anything.
I don't really have a girlfriend right now to miss.
Uh, and even if I did, I think I'd miss my mom more.
Sex.
The thing I miss the most, to be honest, is being normal.
I I feel like a Dyke janitor every day when I put on this outfit.
Cooking, music, free time, being able to get in my car and drive.
Friends.
Sleep.
You.
Two point five.
Bearing one four six.
Hello, CATCC, you swinging the big rigs some more? One, five, four.
Ok, thank you.
It's CATCC One, four, e madam.
Four e, thank you, bye, bye.
O-o-d-u-I-c-a-t-c-c one minute to push.
Ok, bye.
Take handle one point three airborne.
Two ten.
Deuce.
Tell 207.
Have Marsha tell 207 he may be needed as an open stone.
Copy that.
Yes, sir.
Hobo on a hot dog.
Gopher on soft dirt.
What was it? Fly on the meadow what? Meadow muffin? Oh, yeah, I don't hang out in cow pastures much, but we're good.
All right.
That's a new one for today.
Fly on a meadow muffin.
Apparently has something to do with cow pastures.
Cow patties.
I didn't have cows.
You're about as redneck as they come.
You should know about cows.
I'm not as redneck as they come; I never owned anything bigger than a sheep dog.
You can't even do math.
How's that make me a 'neck? That just makes me a dork.
That just makes me dumb.
Let's go ask the eight ball if I'm a redneck.
All signs point to yes.
He would say, "hell yeah!" Hillbilly.
My name is Susan Clapp, and I'm originally from Dalton, Georgia.
He could adjust once 503 and 202 on deck.
I took a friend to join the Navy.
She needed a ride.
I had a car, she didn't.
I went in with her.
It seemed neat.
I joined, she didn't.
That was sixteen years ago.
Why did they put 100 back in the tanker pile? He's not a tanker anymore.
He's adjusted all the way down.
He is adjusted all the way down.
I was offered, when I enlisted, um, four jobs, and one of them was air traffic controller, and I knew I liked airplanes.
So I chose it, and once I got into it, I loved it.
I can't imagine doing anything else.
What kind of turn you guys giving him? Hold the traffic.
They've been doing left turns all night long.
Stick to left turns.
103, I'm talking about 103.
We just gave him a right turn.
They've been doing left turns all night long.
I agree.
Stick to it! When it's busy, everybody's very focused on what they're doing and when the recovery's over, you just blow off the steam from that recovery.
So we do whatever it is that we do to relax.
Go, go, go.
I have three kids.
Two girls and a boy.
It's hard to be away from them like this, but I call them every day so that I can talk to them.
Sometimes, they're really good at being strong and just tell me about their days.
But then, there's other days that, you know, especially the ten-year-old, she starts to cry.
That's my son, Noah.
He is so cute.
I do not have a husband.
We're divorced, and we're fighting over the custody of the kids right now.
But he has temporary custody while I'm on this deployment.
I really don't know what'll happen, but I think I'll regain the custody of my children once I get home, once the deployment's over with.
Good afternoon, guys! Welcome to "new parents"! This is the one class where I'm not telling you that you are doing something wrong! This class is fun and exciting 'cause you guys are going home to something new, something cool.
It's not just you and your wife anymore.
Don't let this interfere with your relationship, though.
Children need to bring your relationship closer together, not farther apart.
There's a good number of couples that will be having a few problems to begin with.
And then, the baby's born and they're really happy.
But they're not focusing on fixing whatever problems were in their relationship to start with.
So for your homecoming, who's gonna greet you at the pier? Chances are, it's gonna be mom and baby.
Who are you gonna approach first? Your wife's first.
She's the one you fell in love with.
She's the one you're gonna be with.
Give her the hug, give her the flowers, and then check out your new baby.
And if no one else has told you this already, don't be the one person that comes down the pier without the flowers.
What are your first words gonna be to your wife? "I love you.
I'm happy to see you.
" Not, "gee honey, you put on some weight!" Parenting is the one thing in life that you can do without any prior training, and if you had a great family environment growing up, and you look up to and you respect your parents, then chances are, you're gonna do a lot of those same things, and you're gonna be a great parent.
But I imagine at least half of you, maybe better, had situations that were abusive, verbally or physically.
You know you don't want to repeat those same patterns in your own family.
So there's confidential counseling at "fleet and family" if you need it.
I hope you guys are all excited.
I'm really excited for you.
Good luck to you guys.
I have no idea what's gonna happen when the kid's born.
I mean, this is my kid.
You know, this baby's gonna look up to me for everything.
And, you know, I'm not even married to Tanya, and I live in an apartment, and Ski is my roommate.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I mean, I'm gonna see what it takes.
Of course I'm not gonna choose going to get drunk and play drums with the guys over having to watch the baby or take care of the baby, and they'll understand.
Between playing the drums and taking care of the baby, yeah.
Hmm.
Is this a picture of the baby? Yeah, that's a picture of my son.
When my wife had the baby, I just felt kind of weird because we did whatever the hell we wanted, when we wanted, and all of a sudden, we couldn't do anything without thinking about him.
And she's insanely infatuated with him, dude.
Really? You know, as much as I wish I could go back and just do what I was doing before cruise, you know, just hanging out and having fun.
The only thing really to worry about was what time I had to go to work, what time I got off, and if I had watch that night or that weekend, and what the hell I wanted to do around California, you know? It's gonna be rough.
I don't even have living room furniture.
I remember the first time she let him stay with her grandmother was like a couple of hours, and then, she was all like trembling and stuff like that, and she got the shivers, and she had to run.
She we had to stop what we were doing just to come pick him up and do do it with him Like take him with us.
Does Tanya like kids? I hope.
For the kid's sake, huh? Everyone keeps saying we're gonna get married, and really, I haven't known the girl for six months now.
I'm gonna go back.
She's gonna be pregnant.
You know, week after that, I'm gonna have a baby there, and you know, we I'm gonna be going through all these emotions from just being off this boat.
You know, and being back home, and trying to get myself settled back in.
It doesn't help the fact that she hasn't wrote me in days now, so Yeah, totally not cool.
Taley, Taley, can you hear me? It's mommy.
Hi mom.
How are you? My kids are doing pretty good.
I talk to them almost every day.
What are you all doing? They're really, really getting excited about coming out to Hawaii to meet the boat.
So that is absolutely fantastic.
Hello.
Hi Nupe.
Hi mom.
How you doin'? Good.
I ordered some Girl Scout candy from you.
Did Yaya tell you? They have started school.
Um, Noah started preschool.
My baby.
I missed his first day of school.
That was very hard on me 'cause you know I, and because of my situation, I didn't get any pictures of what his first day at school was like, so I miss you, Sparky.
I'll see you in a couple of months.
A couple, a couple of months? Ok.
His dad wouldn't send me any pictures of his first day at school.
I love you, buddy.
Bye, bye.
I don't know what he wore, or you know, anything.
It's a big moment to miss, and it's very hard, it's very hard.
I'll call you later on this week, OK? Ok, I love you.
I love you, too.
I miss you.
Love you and miss you too.
All righty.
Ok, bye.
Bye, Taley.
I hate saying goodbye.
Hopefully there's the Guess not.
Ok.
Hello? Tanya.
What are you doing? Sleeping.
Yeah, sleeping.
That's what I thought.
I've been trying to get a hold of you.
You can tell, I probably woke you up.
I'm sorry.
So I got this email from you today.
Like five minutes after I sent it, you replied back, and you said you can't go to Virginia with me and the baby, December 27th to the 9th of January.
Is that what you're saying? What did you just say? Huh? Did you say that you can't go to Virginia with me and the baby? Is that what you said? Yeah.
Me, you and the baby go to Virginia.
Well, we got to take the baby.
'Cause my parents aren't going to be able to see it any other way.
So even though we're getting really close, and I'm really excited, it's kind of scary, you know.
Not in a bad way.
I mean, it's just, just like both.
It's both scary and like exciting, at the same time.
'Cause I'm gonna be there in like thirteen days.
We have a lot going on.
Yeah.
What's wrong? You don't want to go out to Virginia.
I didn't say that.
You're shy.
Hello? Hello.
Piece of [Beep.]
phone! I'm gonna break the [Beep.]
out of you.
God! Oh, my God! I can't even have a conversation with her.
Good afternoon, Defenders of Freedom.
My name is Dwight Gray, and I'm with the "fleet and family" support center.
And let me be one of the first to welcome you back.
Welcome! Thank you.
Reunion is a roller coaster.
It has that up and down kind of thing.
How many of you want a home-cooked meal? Is that the first thing you want? My role, what is my role? Guys, if you are on your very first deployment and your wife has found independence, she's not going to give it up right away.
You have questions about whether you're still needed in your relationship.
Yes, you are, OK? Uh, criticism.
If they dye their hair, gain weight, change something, don't criticize them when you get off the boat.
Don't look at them in that shocking manner, OK? Give them that hug.
You love them, but keep the criticisms down.
You're dating all over again, because you haven't been couples.
It's easy to do.
It doesn't take a lot.
And if you take time with your spouses and you take the time to do the romance all over again, it will work, OK? My last cruise, I was married, but didn't have any kids.
Since that cruise, we've had Madison, who's now two years old, and Andrew, who's seven months.
And I've been I've been gone most of his life.
My daughter was born in 2000, while I was on the ship.
She was almost three months old when I got home.
I got to see the video when I got home, which was still another gut check.
I got a three-year-old back home.
That's who I miss the most, it's my three-year-old.
We did an eight-month cruise.
I left, she was hardly crawling, and I came home and she was walking.
And it took like, three months just for her to get to know me again.
I hope it doesn't take that long this time.
So I need to stop talking about them, or I start cryin'.
I got a video.
What is it? My birth.
Not my birth, Aidan's birth.
 I don't think they had them back then.
This is tough.
I missed his birth.
It makes me hurt so bad.
She sends me pictures every day.
And it hurts a little bit, but it's sort of calming.
I mean, I'm just really glad I got this, finally.
So I was an ass when I left, flat out.
I didn't spend a lot of time with her.
I was at work.
I was trying to pack up.
She would try to do things for me, or with me, and I'm like, "I have to go to work, I have to get stuff prepared to leave.
" And it was like a disassociation for me, 'cause it was tough.
Just because you're a marine doesn't mean you're not human.
Doesn't matter how big, how bad you are, it's it's the way it is, I mean, emotions.
You're still human.
Randy's gonna be an awesome dad.
He's just scared.
I was scared, too.
I mean, when I first seen my daughter, I was afraid of dropping her.
I know that's what he's thinking.
He's afraid that he's not gonna be a good dad.
But just just because he thinks he's not gonna be a dad, that's the reason why he is gonna be, he's gonna be an awesome dad.
That little boy is gonna be proud that Randy is his dad, and that's it.
No email from Tanya again.
Last time she wrote me was the 18th.
Today is the 27th.
I don't know, dude.
It's like she went on without me or somethin'.
How many times a day does your wife email you? Like um A couple of times.
Five, six.
A lot.
This girl's pregnant, and she can't email me for nine days, dude, to let me know what's going on.
Dude, I think she doesn't even care anymore.
I don't even know.
She never tells me how she feels.
Like, I sent her like the sweetest email like a week ago, you know, telling like how much I care, and how excited I was come home, and how you know, no matter how scary this situation was for us, that I was gonna come home and be there, and not run, you know.
Yeah.
And she, I know she's gotten it, dude, and she won't even write me back with two words.
Well, in three days, you'll be able to find out what's going on.
That's right.
I'm done with this, Mirrs, I'm done with this boat, I'm done with chief, I'm done with gunner.
Are you leaving out of Hawaii? Hell yeah, I'm leaving out of Hawaii.
Hey, give me the tape.
Unless they try and take it from me.
It's another world, we have another world.
My kids, they were supposed to come for tiger cruise.
But their dad now has decided he doesn't want them to come.
It's very important for me to have my kids here.
It's a once in a lifetime chance for them.
I've been without them long enough, and my hopes were up for it, and it's a huge letdown to know that it won't happen.
You know, I don't envy chief Shrek at this moment, being out there, watching that.
Not at all.
It's the only thing that keeps you going is, you know, on this date, you're gonna see them.
Smell 'em, touch 'em, hug 'em, love 'em.
The whole nine.
So it keeps you going.
And to be this close to the finish line and have that prize yanked from me is very hard.
It's real hard.
You know, it's not like somebody said I'm not a good mom and can't have them.
It's not one of those situations.
It's just someone just saying no and Just because he can.
This is the hard part about deployment.
You have no control.
There's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Hey sweetie.
How are you doing? I just wanted to call and tell you I love you.
What? I wanted to call and tell you I love you.
So what are we doing, what are we doing to make up for me being an ass before I left? I don't know.
What do you want to do? Why don't we go to California? Go to Hawaii.
Well, do we have the money to spend in Hawaii? Do I have to get pregnant again? Oh, I told you we shouldn't have stayed that extra couple of days.
That's what did it.
Yeah.
It was for that, it was for that one night of Salsa dancing, I'm telling you.
We'll be paying that for eighteen years, I'm tellin' you.
It was expensive That was an expensive cover charge.
You there? Sweetie? I'm done with that Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at Hawaii right now, though.
It's awesome.
I'm manning the rails, so I look all pretty in my whites.
I'm gonna go out tonight, probably have a little bit of dinner, me and Marrero.
He just had a little boy.
So I've been hanging out with him a lot, getting some information, some advice from him.
I'll be there tomorrow evening, OK? All right, are you excited? Huh? You have to pee.
Ok, well, awesome.
All right well, you go pee, and I'll call you later, and I miss you, all right? All right, babe.
Bye.
Thanks, dude.
It's awesome.
Ooooh, man! I'm starting to get jittery, man.
Finally home, dude.
It's almost heaven I'm almost gone I'm almost right so I'm almost wrong I'm almost thoughtful why don't you go pick up the phone? It's almost you I'm almost home We've transited pretty darn near 50,000 miles to get here.
This is our last stop before we get home.
The money is green, the cars are American-made, you're back in America.
I'm almost happy that's almost good I'm almost doin' and the things I should and it's almost perfect like Styrofoam I'm almost there I'm almost home look at that, formation, look at that.
God, getting chills.
I'm getting chills.
It's almost just right it's almost too nice I almost see through the fears in your eyes and I'm almost believing that it's mine to own I'm almost there I'm almost home That was good.
Outstanding.
Outstanding job, everybody.
Outstanding job, secure along the rail.
Welcome back to the United States.
What's the drinking age here? Twenty-one.
Yes it is, very good.
Ok, now I feel better.
I didn't want to hear sixteen, eighteen.
All right, guys, have a good time.
Please be safe.
Please stay out of trouble.
I don't want anybody in jail 'cause you know what, I'm going fishing.
I'm not gonna come get you.
So enjoy.
Thanks, guys.
Against all enemies against all enemies Foreign and domestic Foreign and domestic And I'll bear true faith And I'll bear true faith And allegiance and allegiance Obey the orders obey the orders Of the president of the United States Of the President of the United States And the orders and the orders Of the officers appointed over me.
Of the officers appointed over me.
My kids are coming on tiger cruise.
My ex just wasn't going to let them come.
Really, that was basically about it.
But I was not gonna just take no for an answer when there was no reason why I can't see them.
So I contacted my attorney.
And I'm not really sure what all went on.
It was just the two lawyers with the judge, and the judge sided with me on that one, so I hope that they'll take away how important mom's job is, what the people out here really give up.
And maybe by meeting other people, they'll have the understanding that sometimes, moms and dads don't have a choice, that they have to leave because the boat has to go.
And being around other tigers and around other sailors, I think they'll see the huge big picture.
It's you! How are you doing, baby? Oh, my goodness.
Look at you! I'm so glad that it is gonna happen now.
I'm sad that it had to go in front of a judge just for them to be able to come see me at the completion of deployment, but I'm so happy that they're coming.
You know, I'm just a little anxious to, you know, to see the kid.
I, I honestly had a little dream about it last Yesterday, you know, like he's still little, you know.
I want to see what six months has done to him, you know.
For all I know, he has hair on his lip now.
But we'll see.
I just, I just want to see, you know, how much he's changed, 'cause I know I haven't changed.
You know, I went from 33 to 34.
I haven't told my son anything about tiger cruise.
He just knows he's coming.
He has no idea.
I want him to come out here and expect nothing, and when it all happens and he's just like, "wow, that was the best thing I've ever done in my whole 11 years of life.
" Are you guys all waiting for the same flight? Flight 15.
Good, I know where I am now.
They're bringing them down in a moment.
Oh, are they? That's what they said.
How would I describe my son? He's a lot like me when I was little.
You know, he's nervous around me.
And I was nervous around my dad, you know.
I I think I got into a lot more trouble.
You know, I was more mischievous.
I got into stuff.
I would say, for his age, he's a lot more mature than I was when I was his age.
You know.
He's a very intelligent kid, you know.
Every now and then, just like any other kid, he has his own little self-esteem problems.
He does everything for my approval, and I know that.
'Cause I did the same thing for my father, and I still do it in a sense for him, you know.
Come on over here, kid.
Oh.
How you doing? Good.
Look at you.
Oh, you got your own camera and everything now, huh? Come here, give your dad a hug, dude.
Ah.
That's all you got, right? You got a haircut.
No.
I have another bag.
Come on, let's go.
You have to sign it.
You have to sign me out.
Yeah, I know.
Here, let me get a photo of you.
The whole experience of being out here with me, shooting planes and playing up in the tower.
I mean, he's never gonna forget it, you know? So I'm gonna try to make it I'm gonna try to make the emphasis more on him than for me.
I just want to see it.
I've been on this boat five months.
I can care less about the water and shooting stuff.
But to him, it's gonna mean something.
And that's, that's where the value comes in.
So what do you got in here? Got books and stuff? There's books.
Books.
Oh, God.
Don't you have something you need to show me right now, like right now right now? Envelope, it's in the Here, get it.
What's your bag What's your bag look like? Is it the blue one? No, it's a yellow one.
Hmmmmmm.
Mom said that she told you about that and that.
What, the c and the n? Mm-hmm.
What's the n? What's that? Needs improvement? In what? English.
But you got a b.
I mean, how do you need improvement if you got a b? The attitude, huh? Behavior.
Yeah.
But I see you brought that d to a c, right? Actually, that was an f.
It was a You brought it from an f to a c? Come on, kid, that's cool.
Anyway, I call you my fourth quarter kid.
You know what that means? You start off slow in the first quarter.
Then you start improving in the second quarter, then you start improving just a little bit in the third quarter, and then, in the fourth quarter, you just bang it away and win the game.
Remember back in Maryland, how you started off slow? There's always been something on my mind with regards to my son.
He was born in '93 to me and a lady named Holly Montgomery.
And she had a lot of issues.
She was, you know, involved with drugs and all that.
Um, we broke up when I went into the Navy, or shortly thereafter.
You know, I proposed to her.
I wanted her to be my wife and everything.
I brought her out to Pensacola.
I did all this and she was there for like two months, and she was like, "you know what? I got to get the out of here.
" Let's go, kid.
And so she did, and that was it.
She had the smarts enough to give me full custody.
And, after that, I spoke to her on a couple of occasions with regards to my son and some custody stuff.
Other than that, I really didn't deal with her, you know.
Only kind of pep talk I did give her, I told her, I said, "the least you can do is call every Sunday.
At least let him know that you know, hey, I'm gonna talk to my mother tonight.
Damn it, can you please give me that? If you can't, just don't even do it.
" And she's like "OK, OK, OK, I will.
" And she did.
She did that.
I mean, she missed a couple of Sundays.
You know, she was good for like five, then she missed one, but then, she'd, she'd make it up, you know? She'd call, "sorry, I couldn't do it" for whatever reason.
But she tried, she tried to make it happen.
You know, people like that aren't very good with schedules, let's just put it that way.
But she seemed to try to make that one work.
Let's get another picture of the kid.
In the taxi cab.
I remember her calling me and she wanted to see him.
She wanted me to take him to some motel she was hanging out at.
And I was like, "no, it's not gonna happen.
" And, you know, I'd been, I'd been direct with her like that before, but it seemed to have, you know, she started crying, you know, and she started saying all this stuff, you know, "I'm sorry about this and this and this.
" Just being apologetic.
And I'm like, "is this Holly?" You know, 'cause she's normally not like that.
Just a few days later, my mom calls me and she says, "Holly's dead.
" I said, "say what?" My mom just start breaking down right there.
You know, just breaking down.
She's like, "she's been shot.
" It was like, everybody kind of knew that something like this may happen.
I mean, the way, if you live that type of lifestyle, the potential for being killed, or killing somebody, or just coming up missing, you know, is there.
Which is unfortunate, but you know, people make their own choices.
Are you ready to go on this big old ship? You want to shoot some planes? Knowing somebody, especially your son's mom, is killed, for God's sake, is just, not good.
I don't even know if I really got over it.
You know what I mean? I mean, I still have my own little moments.
But, I know if I haven't, you know, I know for sure he hasn't.
You know what I mean? Some of that, you know, came to my decision, you know, I'd like to bring my son out here.
You know what I mean? So I think it's kind of special.
Maybe it will take his mind away for a little bit, you know.
Taley? Where are you at, mom? I'm at the I'm down here where the baggage claim is.
That's as far we can go.
You are? Then we're at the wrong door.
F2? Ok.
Ok, I'm coming over there.
I'll find it.
Ok.
Oh, Taley! Hey, mom! Mama! Oh, my Nupie, you're so big! Where's your hair? Hi, Taley.
Hi, mom.
Hi, mom.
I say, now girl you know it's true his heart and mind will never stop searching for you and girl, when love is strong gonna keep on searching I don't care how long for you I'll climb the highest mountains or swim the deep blue seas About six hours from now, I'll finally be home.
Pretty rough morning.
Woke up kind of hung over from the partying last night.
Called Tanya this morning and basically, I knew something was wrong.
And I just decided to ask her.
I've known something's been wrong for a while just 'cause I haven't been getting emails.
I basically asked her if there was anything she had to tell me, and that moment, she got silent, and I pretty much knew so I started assuming things and askin' her.
What, what it is now is, she's, I guess, she's been with her ex-boyfriend for a while.
She was with him this morning when I called.
Oh, I would never give up on you oh, I would never stop searching for you You know, this has happened to me so many times.
Every time I go to the boat.
And I knew something was going on.
I don't know.
I Part of me says everything will be all right when she sees me and you know, I'm there and I don't know what kind of guy would be with a girl that's pregnant and, you know, her boyfriend's on deployment.
Oh, I would never give up on you give up, give up I'm not gonna give up on you I'm gonna keep on searching 'til my searching is through someday we'll be married and we'll start anew but until then, girl I'm not gonna give up on you, no I will never give up on you and I will never stop searching for you and I will never stop Subs rip, edit, and resnyc by © VJ Me 2010