Club De Cuervos (2015) s01e09 Episode Script

[crowd cheering.]
[good analyst.]
They're playing a compact game with great attitude, excellent organization in midfield.
"My heroes were always soccer players.
" "Ronaldinho" [both analysts.]
Goal! [good analyst.]
What a goal from Aitor Cardone! Goal! What talent this man has! Beating them all! [Chava shouting.]
That damn Spaniard did it! - [Fernando.]
He's from Catalonia.
- [Chava.]
Shit, wherever! [good analyst.]
Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester and now the Cuervos! [bad analyst.]
Now the Cuervos! [good analyst.]
I've got two words for you, "a-mazing.
" That damn Spaniard did it! [sighs.]
[Isabel.]
Oh, look at him.
[scoffs.]
I didn't think he could be more insufferable.
Did he say anything to you? He gave me the look.
[scoffs.]
Does that count? He's such a diva.
[indistinct chatter.]
We won, my love.
[whispering.]
How are you? Chava! Chava! Yesterday he stank of lap dances.
Didn't even have the decency to wash.
- Oh, no! - I'm fed up with him.
[chanting.]
That's it, guys! Now I've seen it! This damn season is going to be legendary, dudes! [all cheer.]
Damn straight, Cuervos! [squawks.]
- Whoo! - Yes.
The happiness we're feeling now we owe to this guy, to this man, this dude who is a fucking god! A fucking legend! - [applause.]
- Mr.
Aitor Cardone, who today put us on the map, dudes! He put us on the map! - You guys helped, too.
- [all laugh.]
No, actually, it was just me.
[all laugh.]
No, no.
Really.
No, you idiots! I'm joking! - [continue chanting.]
- Hit the showers! [Chava.]
Great, man.
Really great.
Don't be a prude, eh? I already told you I'd introduce you.
Aitor, pleased to meet you.
Rafa Reina.
I'm Chava's brother-in-law.
I used to play.
Ah, Rafa! Yes, you used to play.
That's right.
Until last season.
I retired.
- Yes, it would have been good.
- It would've been great to play together.
Um - Some game, eh? - Yeah I hope I lived up to expectations.
You have no idea.
Incredible.
Hey, that was awesome.
Awesome, dude.
- What? Dude, come on.
- Awesome.
Just helping your friend, that's all.
- Don't be a dick, dude.
- [laughs.]
Okay.
What's the deal? How are you doing? How's life? Okay? - [whispering.]
You know what? - What? I'm separated, dude.
No fucking way.
It's over.
[chuckles.]
Forget about it, dude.
- I didn't know, dude.
- No problem.
Yeah.
- You look good, dude.
- Yes.
Are you okay? Are you looking on the bright side? [forcedly laughs and sighs.]
No, the truth is I miss her, dude.
- What can I say? - I miss dairy, too, dude, but there are lots of other things to eat.
- Don't be stupid, dude.
- Right, dude? - Damn single guy's mindset, dude.
- Ah, dude! That's why you don't have a girl, dude.
Well, you're just as single as me now, man.
- What about it, dude? - What? Let's have a few beers, okay? - Sure, dude.
- Let's go out and do something.
- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah? - Whenever you want.
- Today? - I can't today, dude.
- Why not, man? I have an event.
- What event? - Uh I don't know, Hugo Sanchez booked it.
If you like, I'll ask him, and if it falls through, we'll go out.
- All right.
For real? - Yeah, dude.
- Hey.
- What? - Well done, man.
- All of us, dude.
Good work, boys.
Awesome.
I need to you to go to Fernando and tell him I'm available.
Okay.
For what? For Aitor, in case he wants to go out.
Okay.
So do I ask him if he wants to go out with you? No.
I want you to tell him I'm available.
But only if he wants to invite me out.
- Go.
- Yes.
What do you want? Mr.
Iglesias says that he's available tonight.
Hey, are you asking me a question? Or are you just throwing out random words? You seem retarded, man.
[chuckles nervously.]
No, I just came to inform you that the boss is available tonight if Aitor wants to do anything.
Ah, okay.
Well, tell him that it would be a great pleasure, but he has a prior engagement today.
Really? Chava, too.
"Too" what? Chava's busy, too.
But you're telling me that he's available.
No, not exactly.
It's more hypothetical.
Hypothetical? You know, at Real Madrid there's a retarded boy they let run through the halls because they think he's good luck.
- Really? - Yes.
Is that your job here for the Cuervos? [laughs nervously.]
Sir? - What happened? - Nothing, Aitor's busy.
Tell Moises I can go out with him.
Well, Moises just left, but I can catch up with him.
- No way.
That's so rude, man.
- Mmm-hmm.
[exhales.]
Now who the fuck am I going to go out with? That'll be all for today.
Thank you very much.
Sure.
Yeah, okay.
Yes, sir.
Um, good night.
[Fernando.]
Kid.
Listen, I came to say I have a ticket for Barcelona and [Aitor.]
How long are you going for? - Well, I thought three weeks.
- Ah.
Is that okay? You're sure? [Aitor.]
Yeah, no problem.
I'm settled in here.
No problem.
- [Fernando.]
Give me a hug.
- Shit! Now we found our unicorn.
- Write! - [Fernando.]
Sure! Ah, there.
That's it.
It's impressive.
Have a good trip! Do you have some deodorant? Yeah? You've got some? Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Congratulations, boys.
Great win.
Good win.
Well done.
Isabel, your interview put us in the shit.
Wait, Felix.
Look.
I told the truth.
It's my team.
I don't have to ask permission from you or the players to talk to the press.
[sighing.]
- Honestly, you two are - No, hang on.
Don't you dare compare me to him, Felix.
Oh, because Because you think you're better than him? I've spent a long time trying to explain to Chava how to deal with the press and suddenly you go and pull your pants down.
You're not better than him, Isabel.
You're very intelligent, but your ambition to be president is screwing up the team.
I say this with affection.
Please apologize to your brother, okay? See you, Felix.
Take care.
Emilia, can we go, please? Let's go.
But you haven't introduced me to Aitor.
Too bad, fuck him.
Let's go.
[groans.]
- [whistle blowing.]
- [theme music playing.]
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES [whistle blowing.]
[crowd cheering.]
[crowd cheering.]
[stadium horn blowing.]
[bad analyst.]
Having Cardone as a Cuervo will benefit the league, and us, enormously Fucking great! Damn Spanish fever is going to give me the Black Death.
You know some of us like the fact that we're winning, right? We won one game.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
[sighs deeply.]
This is a great moment, Isabel.
Hmm.
Yes, I'm glad we won, too, but at what price? We spent a fortune, put ourselves up against Eliseo Canales Look, I know exactly what that means.
But, you know you fucked up, right? You didn't have to say all that to the reporter.
Hey, sorry, but the people have a right to know who their president is.
You broke the silence of the locker room.
Oh, enough.
[exhales.]
The reporter knew how to get it out of me.
There you go.
Well, yes You and the reporter were both very flirty.
What? Well, yeah, but he's a reporter, Chivo.
That's what they do, they create intimacy, you know? I mean - But - [inhales deeply.]
Talk to Chava before this battle, or whatever it is that you two have, ends up destroying everything, okay? How come no one can see what he's like? He does drugs, breaks agreements, loses sponsors.
And I'm the asshole? - Yeah, but he's the president.
- Chivo! If the president has a tough time, everyone has a tough time.
And forgive me for saying so, but I don't think he'll stop being president anytime soon.
Oh, thanks, Chivo.
- Do you want anything else? - No, thanks.
It's all delicious.
[Fredy.]
Potro, you're totally off today.
Did the CNN chick see me screwing up? What is this bullshit? Training with press, dude.
Training should be private.
It's okay, this way they see everything I have to give.
How's it okay, dude? Don't be stupid.
It's a goddamn carnival.
- [stammering.]
- Concentrate on what you're doing.
[laughing.]
Why are you looking at me like that? [whistle blowing.]
What if we build the first bullring in Nuevo Toledo and Aitor opens it dressed as a matador? - Mmm-hmm.
- Yes, awesome, dude.
Why don't you sketch it and show me tomorrow? - [Felix.]
Chava.
- What's up? Where did this come from? Renaming the stadium after Aitor? Will you give us a second, please? Okay, Stooges, go and clean the toilets.
What's a stooge? Okay, Serrano ham, sausage.
It's from Cinco Jotas, dude.
It's awesome, help yourself.
- [sighs.]
Chava? - Yeah.
Ease up on this Spanish fever, okay? When we win the playoffs, then we can bring the Puerta de Alcala.
Look, Felix.
You know a lot about soccer, but I think in business, there are still a few things I can teach you.
What we're going to do is the following.
We're going to milk this sacred cow called Aitor Cardone, and we're going to sell that milk all over the world.
Chava, there's something you don't understand.
Aitor isn't a cow, he's a bull.
And what you're milking isn't milk.
[laughs.]
Ha, give me a break! No fucking way, dude.
If Aitor Cardone keeps playing like he's playing, the cash will roll in on its own.
Felix, come on, dude.
We're in a hurricane and you're asking me if it will rain.
What's this, dude? Hold on.
Sir, it's Juan Pablo.
We're in a meeting.
[whispering.]
One second.
You don't answer my calls or my messages.
What's the problem, JP? What's up, cousin? Look, if it's about your Smiles event on Saturday, I don't think I can come, dude.
Yes, that's why I called.
Luis Miguel was going to be the guest of honor, but his agent won't let him out in public till he loses weight.
We need someone big to replace him.
Look, I'm very flattered, cousin, but if I'm honest, I don't think I'm on the same level as Luis Mi [chuckles.]
I meant Aitor Cardone.
Of course you meant Aitor.
I tried to contact his manager or his agent.
- I have no idea what he is.
- Yeah, Fernando.
No one knows what he is.
A pain in the ass, that's for sure.
[laughs.]
Right? Just kidding.
That guy's awesome.
Project Smile would be very grateful if you gave us a hand.
The other day I was chatting to him and he told me that he wanted to be very selective with the charities he supports because people go too far and take advantage of his good will.
Chava, I'd be very grateful to you.
Please.
Look, I don't like to pressure him into extracurricular activities but I'll mention it to him.
- [sighs.]
- I'm not promising anything.
- Perfect.
Thank you.
- One more thing, I'll introduce him.
[scoffs.]
- Okay.
- Awesome.
[sighs.]
Goddamn groupie, man.
Would it be weird to ask Aitor to do something like that? - No, sir, not at all.
- You're sure? I'll look like a loser if he says no.
What if we leave the invitation in his locker? Maybe, or I know! On his windshield with a note.
- What do you think? - Hmm? Just ask him.
Or send him some flowers.
Are you making fun of me or what? You make it too easy.
[Sighs.]
- What's up? What about the meeting? - Just a second, please.
It's siesta time.
[giggling.]
Like in Spain, sir.
[blowing whistle.]
Showers! Hi, baby.
I saw you looking.
- Yes, I have a question.
- What do you want to ask me? How does it feel to play with someone of Aitor Cardone's caliber? Is it what you always dreamed of? Yes, it's all I've ever dreamed of.
[Chava.]
Hi, how are you? Sorry.
- [reporters clamoring.]
- Thanks for coming.
One second.
I'm going to steal Aitor, but I'll bring him right back.
Aitor! - Can I steal you a second? - Sure.
Sorry to ask you like this, dude, but what are you doing this weekend? That's Fernando's job.
He tells me where I have to be.
Oh, okay.
I'll talk to him, then.
Or maybe I can just tell you.
There's an event I wanted to invite you to.
Mmm.
If you'd like to go, I don't want you to feel pressured.
It's going to be very cool, very exclusive.
Uh really smashing, really posh.
Ah, okay.
Tell me about it.
Well, Juan Pablo, my cousin, is well known around here.
Not as much as me, but he's started to make a name for himself, right? And this guy has a foundation and there's a gala on Saturday night, and he'd like he'd like to know if you would be the guest of honor.
Sure, dude.
I love the girls at these foundations.
- What's up, dude? - What's up? Why are you looking at Aitor? Got the hots for him? Shut up, dude.
I'm not looking at him.
No way.
- [teasing and laughing.]
- Don't be stupid, idiot.
Actually, I stare at him all the time.
Look at him.
That dude is a god.
Don't be stupid, dude.
There are no gods in soccer.
He puts his pants on the same as you, one leg at a time.
I don't think we buy our pants at the same store.
Don't be stupid, man.
I've got the suitcase, cigarettes, wallet - Look.
- Should I wear club clothes? Aitor will want to go clubbing, right? The clubs, the parties, the booze My God! Look at me now, I can't do anything.
All fat, haggard, with no illusions.
You're perfect, man.
From the back you don't even look pregnant.
Besides, I'm only going out one night.
Is it okay if I go? - Yes.
- You sure? Yes, it's fine.
I don't want you to think I'm abandoning you after that goddamn mess with Isabel.
Yeah, no.
Besides, I don't feel alone.
- I have you.
- Hmm.
The two of us have you.
Yes.
[sighs.]
- So, what's he like? - Who, Aitor? - Yes.
- He's fucking awesome.
In fact, we should have dinner so you can meet him.
- You'll love him.
- Ah, okay.
Thanks, Manny.
Oh, hey, please don't forget to play Walter Bazar's recordings to the baby.
Everyone talks about how important the prenatal stage is.
Instead of playing him that Baby Mozart shit, we should play something cooler to baby Aitor.
We're not calling the baby Aitor.
The children choose the names, not the parents.
Ciao.
- Bye.
- Bye.
THANK YOU! One more glass and that's it, okay? I don't want you to pass out.
I'd lose out on your little body tonight.
Why don't we rent a room and stay the night here? You can't afford me.
[laughing.]
Ah, yes! And we were traveling in this village in southern Kenya and that's where I realized what I wanted to do in life.
Yes? Good evening, my dear harelips! [applause.]
Angelica! - Good to see you.
- You, too.
[inaudible.]
[inaudible.]
How embarrassing, dude! Damn my luck, she never comes to these things and look.
He's more excited than a teenage girl about to lose her virginity.
Chava! Hey, what? Don't do that.
- Thanks for coming.
- Cousin! JP, dude! What an event you've put on, dude! - Great you made it.
- I expected nothing less.
Welcome.
And our guest of honor.
That's him.
JP, Aitor.
Aitor, JP.
Welcome.
Aitor? Damn.
It's like going to fucking India.
Beautiful but awful at the same time.
Yes, listen, we're so glad you could come.
It's like fucking Siamese twins, damn.
[exhales.]
I'm going to buy it.
Okay.
Uh I prepared a small introduction for - [Aitor sighs.]
- for your appreciation, in case you want to change anything.
- Can you read it? - Yes, sure.
"Common sense is " Not to me! Fuck! To the public.
- When you introduce the event.
- Okay.
- You don't want a stranger reading it.
- No.
Hey, get me a drink.
[clears throat.]
Waiter! Mr.
Cardone wants something to drink - Whatever, just not tequila.
- Of course.
Hey, kid! Damn, what a smile you've got, man.
It's incredible.
Very handsome, eh? Yes, sir! And the jaw and chin that God's given you.
Wow, very pronounced.
Yes, sir.
Hey, want a photo? - Of course.
- Of course he wants a photo, damn! Take a photo of us.
Yes.
Uh - Come on, we haven't got all day.
- With your phone, dude.
Don't be shy.
Okay.
[Clears throat.]
Okay.
One, two Perfect.
Can you e-mail it to me? Okay.
Yes, of course.
- I'll send it to you.
- My public awaits.
- He's the shit, dude! - Isn't he, dude? [Potro.]
Girls, girls, girls, listen up! - Let's have a contest.
- [Moises.]
I've had four! The first one to finish their glass comes with me - [girls cheer.]
- and Moises to my house.
Your house, man? Is your house even clean? Well, okay.
We'll go to Moises'.
We're going to Moises' house.
To my house because it's empty, because my wife left me.
His wife left him.
We have to keep him company.
- Poor thing.
- Drink, baby, drink.
Drink, cutie.
On the count of three, okay? [all.]
One, two, three! We have a winner.
Come here.
I'm going to the bathroom.
I won't be long.
- Go on.
- Go on, then.
- Where are you going, idiot? - The bathroom.
The girls are here, jerk.
Back me up.
Why the fuck are you talking about your ex-wife when we're about to take a girl home? She's not my ex-wife yet.
Legally, she's still my wife.
She's on the other side of the country, dude.
Hey, if your dick doesn't want to make new friends, no problem.
I'll deal with it, I'll take them home and make a Potro sandwich.
- What do you think? - Dude! - Do you know what's in a Potro sandwich? - What? - Dick meat.
- [laughs.]
That's what I thought, dude.
Will you back me up, eh? - Sure, okay.
- Yes? Yes? - I'll go to the bathroom, be right back.
- Right back? - Fired up.
- All right.
Have you tried this dressing? Yes.
It's the same at all these events.
But now I can eat it.
Fuck exercise and diet.
If your belly grows an inch, I'm asking for a divorce.
As if you'd leave me.
Okay, well, if you get fat, I get fat.
- Excuse me, are you Rafa Reina? - Uh, yes.
Can we take a photo with you? Sure, come on.
I'll be right back, okay? Can I get a whiskey on the rocks? If you have something to say, say it, okay? Of the two of us, you're the one with a lot to say.
It was very clear.
You know I have an HD TV with a recorder.
The first time I saw it, I couldn't believe it.
I had to watch it three times to take it in.
Okay, I get it.
All right? I get it.
I don't know what I was thinking.
You don't know what you were thinking? - I know what you were thinking.
- [sniffs.]
You were thinking, how the fuck can I humiliate my brother on national TV? I don't know what you think.
You scored an own goal, dude.
You were the one who looked stupid.
Hey, look, wait.
I'm apologizing.
- This is your apology? - Yes.
- That's it? "It came out wrong"? - Yes.
No fucking way, Isabel.
You betrayed us.
Forget me.
You betrayed the team, dude.
You have no loyalty, dude.
You're untrustworthy, and worst of all, - you're a coward.
- [scoffs.]
You didn't have the balls to say it to my face, so you said it to a fucking reporter instead.
- The same old whining again, dude.
- What whining? - Is that what I need? - What? Balls? - Yes.
- Of course, dude.
You don't have the balls to make decisions, balls to sign Aitor, balls to understand your place in the organization.
You're a disgusting sexist.
- Why, dude? How come? - Why? I haven't got balls so I can't be president, is that it? [Chava.]
Isabel, you talked to a goddamn reporter.
Come on.
Clearly you don't understand how this business works.
You know what, Chava? I do have the balls to say the truth when I have to, and how it has to be said.
Being president fell in your lap, Chava.
- Oh, yeah? - And you're throwing it down the drain.
- Ah, I don't think so, dude.
- Yes.
We just hammered the Chivas last week.
I don't see any team going down the drain.
Excuse me, do you see a team going down the drain? Anyone see a team going down the drain? - Anyone see a team down the drain? - You're an idiot.
- Team down the drain? Anyone? - Shut up! - No one, really? - You're an idiot.
- Anyone? No one, dude.
- Shut up! You're not even my dad's legitimate son! Now we get to the heart of it, dude.
There's the reason, dude.
At last, it's come out.
- Well, it's true, isn't it? - Okay.
Why don't you go to a fucking therapist, Isabel? Too cheap to pay for one? The team will pay.
Honestly.
It's on the team.
You know perfectly well my mom was married to Dad when I was born.
Accept it, people separate, live their lives, remarry and have more kids.
- Grow up.
You're 40 years old.
- No, it was a temporary separation.
Give me a break! They were separated three years, they weren't getting back together.
I don't give a shit what your fat, schizophrenic mom says, they weren't getting back together.
- Yes, they were.
- No, they weren't.
- Of course not! - They were! Your mom poisoned your mind, messed you up.
That's why you're bitter.
That's why you hate Mary Luz.
You've been singing the same song since you were seven.
[mimicking.]
"Oh, shit.
Why does my dad love other people? Why can't he just love me? I hate you, get out of my party, dude.
" Do you think it was easy growing up with you? You think it was easy to grow up with a sister who hates you just because she didn't want to share her dad? What do you think, dude? Now there's nothing to share because Dad is dead, dude.
So you can finally snuff out your little candle and forget him coming to rescue you from your miserable fucking life.
[all gasp.]
- Asshole.
- What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with you, fucking crazy - Asshole! - Ah, dude! - Let go! Wait! [Rafael.]
Isabel! Isabel! Isabel! [Chava and Isabel shouting.]
[Isabel.]
Let go of me, idiot! [Rafael.]
Let go of her! - [Rafael.]
Chava, stop it, Chava! - [laughing.]
Fucking crazy bitch, dude! Let go, dude! Don't touch me again! - Chava, drop it! - [Chava.]
You're crazy, dude! - You're crazy, Isabel! - You hit like a girl! - Chava, that's enough! - Let me go! Let him go! - Come on! - Enough! [Rafael.]
Let's go! Now! [Aitor.]
That was incredible! Now this is a party! Come on, let's mess this place up! That's it! Girls! - [girls cheer.]
- [Aitor.]
Let's party! Come on! - That was good, right? - Let's party! - Was it awesome? - Come on! You're damn right it was awesome.
Let's find a room to party in like a team, okay? [Whooping.]
You're fucking kidding me! [breathing heavily.]
[Chava.]
Goddamn stupid chick, dude.
I'll kill her, dude.
- I'm going to - Dude, she kicked your ass, really.
What are you talking about? She took me by surprise, dude! - By surprise? - I always beat her.
I've always beaten her since we were kids, man.
- Okay! Chava! - Fucking bitch, dude.
No way.
I'm going to fuck her up, dude.
- What's that? - Take it.
No way! What will it do to me? Come on, to drown your sorrows! One line, trust me.
Do it! - It's medicine, dude.
- I've been in your position many times.
You have to decompress the fucking tension.
This shit will help.
Come on, it's not addictive.
Relax, trust me.
Take it yourself! [in high-pitched voice.]
Bitch, this is fucking cool! - [inhales.]
- Don't pay too much attention to me, eh? - Aw, dude! - Relax.
- [Aitor laughing.]
- Aw, what the fuck, dude? This fucking sucks! [shouting.]
Come on! This is horrible, asshole! What did you give ah! Wait, take this.
- No, dude, no! - Wait a second, take it.
To come down.
- That's it, baby! That's it.
[Laughs.]
- That's disgusting, dude.
Aw, fuck, dude! This is fucking awesome, dude! [laughing hysterically.]
Ah, dude! Come on! Miss, I'm going to take some gum, and some marzipan and I'm going to take Quien.
Thanks, take care.
Good night.
Here you go, miss.
My autograph.
Sell it online and keep the change, okay? Whoo! Chava! Where are you? Come here! Where, dude? Come here, damn it! Is this a team or not? We're fine here.
Come here, you fucking Cuervo! Yeah, let's go.
Come on.
- You want to go? - Yes.
What? Who asked for reinforcements? I'm going to get some air, dude, and go to the bathroom.
When I come back, watch out.
I'm just going, dude.
No problem.
Take your time, okay? It won't come out, dude.
I'm so high, man.
[Urinating.]
Seems to curve to the left, doesn't it? I guess so, dude.
My dad's was the same.
I'm just finishing, dude.
I'm just finishing.
I've finished.
Shall I help you with that or what? - Ah, dude! What the fuck, man? - What's wrong? What, dude? [urinating.]
There.
- [laughs.]
- [inhales.]
Ah! - Delicious, damn! Come here.
- Hang on, I want some.
[moaning.]
- Let's go.
- Okay.
- Moisete? - Hmm? Do you mind if I go up to the room? - Yeah, the one upstairs, dude.
- Upstairs? Relax.
- Dude, to your room - Yes! - You know who you're with, right? - Yes.
The crazy horse of the Cuervos.
- The Cuervos? Not the Aguilas? - The Aguilas are little chickens.
I'm all Cuervo, girl.
Isn't Aitor from the Cuervos? - What the fuck does Aitor matter now? - No, nothing.
Just, I've never seen one so big.
I remember it and it hurts.
But like a delicious pain Enough already! You're with Potro, okay? - Go down on me.
- Yes, my Potro.
- What? What's wrong? - Nothing, he's tired, girl.
Well, wake him up, daddy.
Quickly, because I have to go soon.
[sighs.]
Okay, come on.
Do it.
Make him dance the cumbia, come on.
Maybe he prefers classical music.
[exhales.]
Go down a little bit more.
Go on, might as well.
Chava! Chava! Chava! We've got the party set up there with those bitches.
Why are we leaving? You've got training tomorrow, dude.
You have to rest.
[exhales.]
Hey, I sense some tension.
Did I make you uncomfortable? Let me remind myself, dude.
Remembering.
You put half a box of aspirin up my nose, dude.
Then, I was trying to piss and you grabbed my dick, dude.
I don't know your Madrid customs, but I don't like those things, man.
I made an offer, you refused.
End of story, right? What story, dude? What fucking stories do they read in Madrid? Hansel and Mauricio, or what? What can I say? I like interesting twists in life.
- [sighs.]
- What? What? [inhales deeply.]
- Who knows about this, dude? - About what? - That you're gay.
- I'm not gay.
- Well, bisexual then, whatever.
- Not that either.
Well, you're something, and it's clear you're not heterosexual.
Pansexual.
I like everything.
Everything.
- Great, dude.
Look.
- Yes.
That's your business.
I'm just going to ask you a favor.
Tell me.
Don't grab any dicks in Nuevo Toledo.
Nuevo Toledo, zero dicks, dude.
Zero dicks, zero dicks.
Yes, Chava.
I'll put a leash on my pet, okay.
I have a leash, you know? - I'll put it on, and that's that.
- Make sure it's tight.
It's very comfortable.
Friends? [Aitor.]
I love the girls at these foundations.
[Chava.]
Don't grab any dicks in Nuevo Toledo.
- Nuevo Toledo, zero dicks.
- [Aitor.]
Zero dicks.
[Chava.]
Who knows about this? That you're gay.
[Aitor.]
Damn it! Come here, you fucking Cuervo! Come on! Come on, it's not addictive.
[Moises.]
Legally, she's still my wife.
[Potro.]
She's on the other side of the country, dude.
[Moises.]
You know what? I'm separated.
It's over.
[Chava.]
This dude is a fucking god! A fucking legend! [Aitor.]
No, actually it was just me.
[reporter.]
How does it feel to play with someone of Aitor Cardone's caliber? Is it what you always dreamed of? [thud echoes.]
Holy fuck! [girl.]
Isn't Aitor from the Cuervos? - [thud echoes.]
- Fuck! [girl.]
I've never seen one so big.
I remember it and it hurts.
[Cuau.]
Now we found our unicorn.
our unicorn.
[voices echo.]