Cobra Kai (2018) s01e09 Episode Script

1 Ha! What the hell are you doing? You come to my house? Are you insane? I was trying to make things right, let the past be the past.
You still can't leave well enough alone, man.
What are you even talking about? You got Cobra Kai reinstated.
I'm talking about my car.
What about your car? Yeah, nice try.
You know, those goons of yours could have burned down my whole neighborhood.
- Goons? What goons? - Don't try to play dumb.
Son of a bitch gave you up right away.
Don't worry, I took care of him and his little biker posse.
Louie.
All right, listen.
I don't know what the hell happened, but I had nothing to do with it.
That was my cousin.
Big surprise.
All you LaRussos are the same.
Your whole family, man, is rotten to the core.
All right, watch it, Johnny.
Kick his ass, Dad! Anthony, just go inside.
Listen to your dad, kid.
You're not gonna want to see this.
Hey! Hey.
I'm gonna ask you nice.
You got the hell off my property, or I'm calling the police.
Oh, yeah, you afraid? You know what, this is ridiculous.
You want to go now? Come on, Johnny! You want to do this? Let's go.
Come on.
What is going on? Dad's about to fight this guy.
Amanda, just, please, go inside.
This is between me and Sensei Lawrence.
nda: Yea, you two seem to have this pretty well in hand.
Just a normal Saturday afternoon, a couple of grown men about to kick each other into a pool? You know, as much as would love to watch you and your childhood karate rival duke it out, I kind of don't want to get any blood on the patio.
So what do you say we try to resolve this over some breakfast instead? You want to go inside? I could eat.
What's going on? The test is almost over.
It's just a practice test.
Relax.
Easy for you to say.
You have a girlfriend.
What does that have to do with anything? I gotta do well on these so I do well on the actual test so I get into a good college, which will lead to a good internship, then a high-paying job, and then, after a couple promotions, I should have enough confidence to get a super-hot girl.
You got the karate thing.
I gotta play the long game.
Hey.
Hey.
I'll meet you.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
What's with the doom and gloom? Come on, I'm sure you did amazing, again.
Yeah, I was just a little distracted.
What? Why? The tournament.
I don't have a lot of time to prepare, so Well, you had to have done better than me.
The guy in front of me definitely did not shower.
Made me completely forget how to calculate the volume of a sphere, but he definitely helped me remember the word "malodorous.
" So what did you do last night? Ah, just a family dinner.
I'd like to meet them sometime.
I've never been to your house.
Well, I've never been to your house either.
You're more than welcome to come whenever you want to come.
My mom would love to meet you.
Or I can come to your house, meet your mom, your dad.
You know, tonight's just really not a good night.
Um, but we should totally hit up Ventura.
Two shakes at Salt & Straw on me? Yeah, um, I should go train.
Maybe another time.
Um, okay.
But I'll call you later.
Yeah.
da: So, Johnny, I hear you run a dojo.
That's nice.
Yeah, it was nice until your husband got my rent doubled.
Okay, you spray-painted a dick on my face.
You tried to get me banned from the All Valley.
Okay, guys, you know what, let's not do this.
- He torched my car! - I did not torch your car! I'm the guy who had your car fixed, remember? Yeah, well, it wouldn't have needed to be fixed if your daughter and her friends hadn't wrecked it in the first place.
What is he talking about? He's--he's full of shit, is what he's talking about.
That car wreaked of whiskey.
All right, he was probably half in the bag and wrapped it around a telephone pole.
Yeah, ask your daughter.
No, hey, you know what, I've enjoyed this trip down memory lane, but some of us have places to be.
Yeah, well, I'm not leaving until I payback for my car.
I told you, I had nothing to do with it.
- Someone did.
- nda: Luckily, we know someone with a car dealership who can help.
You want me to give this son of a bitch a car? You heard what Louie did.
Oh, please, don't even get me started on Louie.
I'm not saying give him an Audi.
Don't even give him an Acura.
Just give him something from the trade-in lot.
You're lucky my dad didn't kill you.
Yeah? You're lucky I didn't kill him.
I'm gonna tell him you said that.
Good.
I want him to know.
You guys got any ketchup? Yeah.
Get it yourself.
Douchebag.
Dick.
So after everything this guy's done, I've got to be the one to make amends? Just give a car and get him out of your life forever.
Come on, eat something.
I'll make you feel better.
Told you I'm not hungry, man.
I still think you're overreacting.
I'm not overreacting, dude.
I know what I saw.
All right, so you saw her eating dinner with some chode.
Oh! It's probably just her brother or something.
No, dude, brothers don't look at their sisters like that.
Depends on what part of the country you're in.
Look, I just don't want what happened to Sensei to happen to me.
All right, so you go over to this kid and beat his ass so he doesn't have the chance.
Don't listen to Eli.
It's Hawk.
Yeah, whatever.
The fact is, Sam's given you no reason not to trust her.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah.
Oh, that little bitch.
What? You know that video I posted of me breaking that board? - Yeah.
- Look what Yasmine commented.
- Oh, shit.
- I gotta do something.
All right, how about we kidnap her and have my boy Rico tattoo "bitch" on her face? Calm down, Hawk.
All right, I hear how you're saying it, and I don't like it.
Wait, wait, wait.
I've got a better idea.
Look.
Yasmine's throwing a birthday party at the canyon later? Not if we strike first.
Hell yeah.
Okay, choose.
I thought you sold Porches.
Yeah, right, in your dreams.
Just pick one out and get the hell out of here.
I don't have all day.
What about this one? ny: Forester? What do I look like, a lesbo? Hey, every one of these vehicles is worth more than that bucket of bolts you were driving.
Bucket of bolts had a lot of memories.
Whatever.
This one's not half-bad.
It's a 2009 Challenger.
- 5.
8 liter.
- 5.
7.
What, you know cars? What kind of man doesn't? All right, wise ass, I'll get you the keys, and you get the hell out of here.
Wait, what's wrong with it? What do you mean? What, do you think I sell lemons? - I don't trust you.
- All right, fine.
You want to test drive, I'll give you a goddamn test drive.
Yeah, I want a test drive.
Yeah, Sheila, could you get Robby to take this guy out? It's Robby's day off.
What about Anoush? He's with a customer.
I can call Louie.
No, no, no, no.
Louie's never allowed to step foot around here ever again.
Just All right, could you get this Challenger cleaned up and grab me the keys? - Thanks.
- I got it.
You got one of these in black? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll get it for you.
Hey, Mom, have you seen Dad? I really need to talk to him.
No, he's out, and I need to talk to you.
Did you get into a hit-and-run accident a few months back? Oh, my God.
It wasn't me driving, Mom.
I swear.
- It was Yasmine.
- I don't care who was driving.
You should have told us this.
I mean, do you have any idea the kind of trouble you caused? I'm sorry.
Sorry's just not gonna cut it.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're grounded.
Give me your phone.
What? Why? Because I know as long as you have internet, sending you to your room is like sending you out to play.
Now, hand it over.
Don't forget her laptop and smartwatch.
Are you kidding me? Come on now.
Take it easy.
This car isn't technically yours yet.
Relax, Danielle.
How many speakers does this thing have? It has enough.
Here.
There you go.
Man: That I don't think it's true, babe And even if it is, keep You like Speedwagon? What kind of man doesn't? But if you don't like it, I mean No, no.
That-- it's all right.
Man: Then I don't want you around I don't believe it Not for a minute You're under the gun, so you take it on the run Hey, hey, pull over.
Right over here, pull over, just a second.
Oh, this is the old place.
Used to be three palm trees up there.
I remember, I kicked your ass around that corner.
Yeah? How'd that end? Hey, how are you? Thanks.
Wow.
This is Mind-blowing crazy insane being back here.
There's actually water in the pool.
Never got a chance to swim in there.
I had a pool twice the size of this.
I bet you did.
What's that supposed to mean? Must have been nice having a rich daddy give you everything.
Didn't have a rich daddy.
Had a rich stepdaddy.
He was a real piece of shit.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, I guess my mom wanted me to have a better life.
Give me things she didn't have.
le: You know, I really think we're gonna do good here.
I have a very positive feeling, I'm telling you, Daniel.
Yeah, moms are good like that.
All right, I could use a drink.
There's a bar around the corner.
It's the middle of the afternoon.
Come on, we gotta go back and do the paperwork.
Yeah, good thing I got the keys, then.
Johnny.
Come on, Johnny.
We gotta get ba-- this guy is such a dick.
All right, be sure to stock up good.
I'm inviting everyone.
"VIP only" my ass.
I still don't understand how we're gonna buy alcohol.
Oh, please, never underestimate the power of the Hawk.
Dude, where are you? ny: God, I just love the internet.
There's just so much to do.
Chat with your friends, watch videos, shop online.
You're going to hell.
You know, that, right? All the coolest people go to hell.
Guys, be quiet.
I have a lot of work to do.
Come on, Mom.
Please just let me answer it.
( beep ) - Nice.
- Go back to work.
Ooh, another friend request.
Hey, Sam, it's me.
Um I wanted to call and to say that I apologize for earlier today.
I was feeling off.
But I really would love to see you today.
Cobra Kai's throwing a party at the canyon.
We're heading out there right now.
Justlet me know when you can come.
Bye.
'Sup? Oh, did you catch the game last night? See Puig with the walk-off? No, man, but I heard he flipped the bat to the moon.
Yeah, I was at the bar last night with my buddies from work.
The whole place went wild.
I wanted to go, but my girlfriend dragged me to some lame-ass play.
Bitches will be bitches.
- Yeah.
- So how much it gonna cost? Gotta check your ID first.
I'm flattered.
Do you really think I'm underage? That's my friend's kid right there.
Yeah, I still need to see it.
It's required by law.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Just upholding the law.
It's all good.
Whatever.
And how about eight bottles of that vodka right there? Yeah.
Ooh, maybe that's the drone I bought from Amazon.
Wait, whoa.
You bought a drone? - Hey, Anthony.
- Oh.
It's you.
- Hey, Robby, what's going on? - Hey, Mrs.
L.
I'm just here to train with Mr.
Larusso.
He out back? Uh, no, he's out all day dealing with the, uh You know what, never mind.
Come on in.
You can wait for him in here.
nda: Hey! Don't even think about it.
Hey.
How's it going? I am a prisoner.
Gotta get out of here.
Bartender, Coors Banquet for me, and a Shirley Temple for the lady.
A club soda will be fine.
Thank you.
Okay, one drink, and then we get the hell out of here.
So? Your stepdad was an asshole, huh? Back in the day, I just figured you were living the life-- you know, fancy cars, motorbikes.
It had its moments.
Then I'd come home and pretty much get bullied every day.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
It's why I joined Cobra Kai.
Kreese gave me more attention than I ever got at home.
The guy was more than a sensei to me.
He was basically a father.
Eh, you wouldn't understand.
My dad died when I was eight.
Mr.
Miyagi was like a father to me.
It's crazy, man.
Both finding karate role models.
Yeah, except yours didn't break your trophy and try to kill you.
That is true.
You know what, uh, get me a Kettle martini, straight up, couple of olives, ice, ice cold.
And two more of these.
Finally.
- Your driving sucks, by the way.
- Whatever, dog.
No effing way.
Cool, how did all these people get here so early? Seriously, Moon? Do these look like people I'd invite? Kyler, go tell these losers to get out of here.
Fo' sho.
Wait.
Um, you know what, let's just find another spot or we could go home or whatever, you know what I mean? Not really feeling this.
Yo, this is you.
Hey, you guys are a couple of pussies.
- You know that, right? - Yeah, whatever.
Brucks, let's roll.
Moon, what the hell are you doing? I'm just going to get a beer.
We have beers! Last chance.
Still nothing? Nope.
Maybe her phone died.
Whatever.
Let's get the party started without her.
So boring.
Robby, what happened? Are you okay? Yeah, I just twisted my ankle a little bit.
Should be fine, but I may have a hard time on my skateboard.
I don't know when Daniel's going to be back, but you need a ride home? Ah, sure, but I know you have those reports to finish, so I can wait.
Oh, don't even worry about it.
Sam? Yes, warden? Yeah? Robby sprained his ankle, he needs a ride home.
So drop him off and come right back, okay? Yeah, uh, sure.
Okay.
Come on.
Do you need some help? No, I just need to walk it off.
Ha ha! Oh, there it is.
- All better.
- Wait--wait.
Did you just pull a Keyser Soze? You said you were a prisoner.
I figured I'd break you out.
So Where we going? To a party.
How does that sound? - That sounds great.
- Awesome.
My boyfriend's probably wondering where the hell I am right now.
Come on, let's go.
Wouldn't want to keep him waiting.
I mean, there was spaghetti all over your face, man.
It was hilarious.
There wasn't any spaghetti on my face.
It was on my chest, and that sauce burned.
Yeah, it's even funnier, man.
Laugh all you want.
I hear Ali clocked you right after that.
Yeah, I had it coming.
Yeah.
Yeah, that girl was something.
Yeah, she was.
You ever see her these days? Nah.
Not in decades.
I hear she met some guy in med school.
Ali's a doctor now? Wow.
I knew she was smart, but I figured she was hot enough to avoid work.
Yeah, she's a pediatric surgeon.
Her husband's an oncologist.
Sounds like a tool.
I don't know.
I never met him.
They live in Denver.
For someone who hasn't talked to Ali in decades, you sure know an awful lot about her.
I've seen her on Facebook.
What's a Facebook? Wow.
Really, Johnny? Come on.
Ali Mills Schwarber? That's her last name now? - Yeah.
- Wow, what a downgrade.
Are there any photos? I wonder how she's holding up.
Well, you gotta be her friend to see them.
I never friend-requested her.
Why not? Because I'm a happily married man.
I don't need to be snooping around my ex's photos.
Besides, she never friend-requested me either, so Hold on, is that her husband? Let's see what this loser looks like.
Look at that dumb face.
Yeah.
What an asshole.
Another round.
Another one? Are you good? Yeah, I'm fine, Aisha.
Thanks.
All right.
Miguel, they're all out of Mr.
Pibbs.
I got the last one.
ine: Hey, Moon? Come here.
I don't get it.
You shave half your hair, get a tattoo, and just like that, everything changes? All right, let me let you in on a little secret.
It's not just a haircut or the back tattoo.
It's a way of life, man.
You just gotta feel the energy and just live in the moment, you know? That is the most McConaughey thing I've ever heard.
Live the moment.
Well, uh, hello there.
I saw on your Facebook it's your birthday.
Happy birthday! Sorry if I'm bothering you.
I don't normally converse with the opposite sex.
Well, except for my mom.
Even then it's a bit intimidating.
My move is usually to just watch from a distance, you know? Not in a creepy stalker way.
Consider me more of a-- an admirer from afar.
Oh, my God.
These losers.
That went pretty well.
- Something-- - Hey! You think it's funny crashing my party? It's not really your party 'cause we were here first.
Yeah, well, I know you and your little karate gang think you're cool.
But we all remember who you really are.
You're just a fugly bitch, and your friends are all freaks.
Come on, Moon.
Let's go.
No, I'm staying.
I apologized to Aisha for what we did, and you should too.
Whatever.
You deserve them, Moon.
Hey, Yasmine! Huh? What? Let me help you to your car.
No mercy, bitch! Okay.
I like to drive fast, but that was crazy.
We're lucky we're alive.
Sorry, I just-- I know Miguel's been waiting for me.
So you're a little late, big deal.
He shouldn't give you a hard time about it.
It's not just that.
Um, thanks.
I haven't told my dad that I'm dating Miguel, and I think Miguel knows now that I'm keeping it a secret.
So it's been kind of awkward.
Why have you been keeping it a secret? Because my dad hates Miguel's sensei.
Like, with a passion.
And I know if he found out, he would totally lose his shit.
But I just feel so guilty.
Like I've got to come clean to everyone.
Sorry, I know this sounds like a total soap opera.
No.
I can relate.
Sam: I need help with this.
Just Okay, it's actually a little more steep than I was expecting.
Okay.
I'm pretty sure I couldn't come down that hill on my own.
Your dad said I should always be a gentleman.
- Oh, is that so? Hey, hey.
Hey.
Who's this guy? - Hey, I-- - Wait.
This This is your boyfriend? Yeah.
Miguel, relax.
This is Robby.
- He works for my dad.
- Oh, with your dad.
Okay, that makes a lot of sense.
What is that supposed to mean? Wait, have you been drinking? No, no, no.
You don't get to turn this on me.
I texted and called you all day and you couldn't answer me back once? - No, I literally couldn't.
My mom took my phone.
- Oh! - Oh, that's so convenient.
- Hey, man-- You get out of here! Miguel, stop it! Hey, man, you want to try that again? - Try it again, huh? - Don't! Sam.
Sam, I'm sorry.
God, you asshole! What the hell was that? My dad was right about Cobra Kai.
Good luck at the tournament.
I won't be there.
Sam.
Sam.
Sam, wait! Hey.
Sober my ass.
You're lucky there were no cops on the road.
Ha, save it for the mat.
Hey, I didn't say yes.
Oh, come on.
One time.
You know, like the end of "Rocky III"-- Yeah, yeah, when Rocky and Apollo fight for fun, yeah, yeah.
Okay, all right, one time, and one time only.
It is on.
Hey, Robby.
Mr.
LaRusso, I really need to talk to you about something.
What the hell? What's going on? Hey, Johnny, I forgot to tell you.
You're not the only one around here with a student.
I have a student of my own.
Ugh! What the hell's wrong with you? What the hell's wrong with you, man? - Hey, Dad, back off.
- Dad? If you want to fight him, you're gonna have to fight me first.
You got to be kidding me.
Mr.
LaRusso, I was gonna tell you-- Was this all just a con? Some kind of sick mind game you're trying to pull off on me? - No, no, no, it wasn't like that.
- You lied to me.
- Please, please.
- Get out now! And don't come back to this house, not to the dealership, not ever.
You got that? Ever again.
No, I'm-- an: Welcome, everyone, to the 50th annual All Valley under 18 karate championship! It's karate time.
This is it, folks.
The moment we've all been waiting for.
Winner! Winner! You know what to do.
I'm gonna tell him to end it.