Crawford (2018) s01e09 Episode Script
I Can't Go to U2 Without You
1 SHELLERS: Previously on "Crawford" - (PHONE RINGS) - Hi.
I (THROWS UP) Oh my god.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Oh.
- Here.
- Thanks.
You can tell me, what-what's wrong? Nothing is wrong, Dev, okay.
I just happened to be pregnant.
- You're pregnant? - Don't worry, it's not yours.
We are free and clear, Wendy.
We think the best way to go about all of this is a layoff.
Tidy.
- No job, nowhere to live.
- Come home, Wendy.
What I would love is to not live at home, and to not be fired.
I'm Dallas Fraser.
I'm a lawyer.
My client's truck was set on fire.
Look familiar? This looks like you're starting a fire.
VERN: I checked with Taylor, and he's cool with it in the awards showcase.
Taylor, I know you said never call you, but the Froot Loops jacket's missing.
Please please call me as soon as possible.
It's Vern.
I had some raccoons myself a few years back, so I know how to-just walk right away from me, like I'm not even here.
Just tryin' to meet my girlfriend's husband and man up.
He is so cold to me always.
(SPLASHING) Camping.
U2's doing some kinda campground show, like 6 hours away.
He's totally lost his mind, he's been planning it for months.
I should be back sometime midday tomorrow.
But I'm gonna take off Sunday and Monday because I wanna take you away somewhere.
(TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES) Okay, Shellers, she's at work.
She's not supposed to be at work today.
Okay, I gotta deal with this now.
This is Shellers.
DALLAS: Not Cynthia's line? - Yes, this is her office.
Oh great, can you put me through, please? No, she's not in yet, she might be in later this morning.
- What time should I expect? - Not sure yet.
Who's calling? A friend who needs to know what time she's in.
Uh huh.
Well, I just can't give out that information.
Cynthia, yeah she's a Cereal Exec here.
DALLAS: That predates July 8th.
- Yeah.
You cover the books for the exec memos too, right? Yes, it's the Town Car service for our executives.
- Can I ask who's calling? - One of the mechanics checking on an incident with the Town Car.
Oh uh yeah, sure, let me see, gimme a sec.
(KEYS CLACK) Yes, on the 8th she used three cars, one in the morning and two at night.
Uh, sorry, I didn't get your name.
- No, you didn't.
(HANGS UP) - Hello? TAYLOR: Come on, let's go.
Hey Taylor, what're you doing in? Exactly, and thanks for asking.
Do you have any idea how many hours I put in this week? 18 solid hours, this week alone.
I do not need to work like this, believe me.
Um, Taylor, you know the jacket? Are you kidding, Vern? The Froot Loops jacket is gone.
It's not gonna magically reappear, no matter how many times you ask me, 'cause it's been 15 times already, so get with the program, all right? - Do you like me, Taylor? - Oh, Vern.
Do I like you, Vern? Whadda you think? I love you, Vern.
You're my guy.
Fishing trips.
Those amazing numbers you hit in the 80's, remember that? - Yeah.
- Weren't those great times? We did that together 'cause you're a kickass guy, and I've loved ya ever since.
Don't let this office crap drive you crazy.
- I don't, I gave up on it.
- Okay.
- All right, buddy? - Okay.
Okay, buddy? Who's my buddy? - Who's my buddy? - Okay.
I'm tickly.
All right no, you like that? Who's my buddy? - I am! Okay.
- All right.
You kick some ask, okay? Kick some ass.
- Come on, Tic Tac.
- Hello? Yeah, I'm just waitin' in the driveway.
I can't wait here much longer.
We gotta get goin', we gotta go.
And I am so pumped, Cyn, I've been up since 5.
You ready? Bryce, didn't we say that we'd meet at my place at 11? I mean it's it's 9 right now, that's 2 hours early.
Um, I just need to go into the office to check on a few things, and then I can forget about work and No, no, you cannot go into work today, Cyn, I know you.
(DOG BARKS) Hey, hey, Molly! Come here! Molly! You can't go into work.
If you go in you will never get out of there.
- Molly, come on! - No, come on.
Come on, come on, let's get goin' girl.
If we don't get on the road now, it's gonna be all jammed up with honkies - and we won't get a site.
- Jammed up with honkies? - Where did you hear that? - I don't know I just heard it.
Look, there's 75 sites left, first come, first serve.
Hey you know, I got tonnes of points, we could get a hotel room, and you could leave the dogs with your sister.
That'd make life so much easier, man.
Camping is the whole idea.
That's outta the question.
I already told 'em they're coming.
Told who? The dogs? They don't know what you're talkin' about? Sure they do.
They pick up on my enthusiasm, they're so excited, they're expecting something awesome.
And you know what? So am I! Okay, I love awesome, love awesome.
Okay, Bryce, I will see you at 11 on the nose.
Look, Cyn, I booked this and it is so important to me, you are not going into work, not today.
(PHONES RING, LOW HUM OF CHATTER) Hey Shel, what're you doing here? You shouldn't be at work.
- Is Dev in? - Not yet.
Look, I feel better moving around, and I'm not due for at least another 2 weeks.
Please, just let me keep busy.
The ladies in Promotion are handling the launch today, and Dev's got the cats.
He'll take care of them.
He'll feed them and change the litter.
Okay, yeah, sure.
Hey, you stoked for sexy U2 camping with Bryce? Camping.
Bugs.
Ticks.
You know, drunk dudes listenin' to their tunes and peein' on trees.
- Gross.
- Exactly.
I'm kinda stressed about it, and I only really know just like a few U2 songs.
I mean I saw on Bryce's profile that he liked U2, so I, like a dummy, said that U2 was one of my favourite bands.
I see.
Well, why don't you just tell him? Oh, I can't.
No, every time he gets drunk he says things like "oh U2's my life.
U2 made me the man I am today," and like he starts to cry a little bit.
Wow.
You know, I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not a really big fan.
Well, I do like that song New Year's Day.
Oh yeah.
I know that one.
Shel, seriously, start your leave.
I will.
I will, I promise, but first I need to see Wheat Rock Drones.
Oh, I still hate that name.
On the shelf, with my own eyes.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, it's just my hormones are going crazy.
I just wanna see the cereal on the shelf, surrounded by people, just loving it.
I'm heading out to a random grocery store today, to take some snaps of the displays.
Then you're gonna relax, right? - (PHONE RINGS) - I find cereal very comforting.
- (PHONE RINGS) - Good afternoon, Exquisite Quality Bathroom.
Manny speaking.
DALLAS: Good afternoon, Manny, how are you today? Hello Mr.
Fraser.
You already recognize my voice.
- No, I know who you are.
- Need to let you know, my clients need another 10.
What, an additional $10,000 to bring the total to $60,000.
Wow, that's That's a lot of money.
Yeah.
Unless you rather we call the cops? No, sure, sure call the cops, yeah, please.
You know that would mean you'd find yourself Oh wait, just I don't wanna be rude (MANNY HANGS UP) It's strange being back here.
I can't stop thinking about the shooting.
Two years ago today, Midtown Trust hold-up.
Gun to a rookie's head.
He almost had that gun.
Almost.
Stop thinkin' about it, he's the same old guy.
Come on, let's do this.
(DOOR OPENS) Owen! (LAUGHS) (DOOR CLOSES) - (VOICE) Toffee? - No thanks.
- (VOICE) Toffee? - Okay.
(TOFFEE CRUNCHES) - Good to see ya, sir.
- Owen, we got a problem.
(VOICE) RV show this weekend.
- Food.
Beer.
You guys, wasted.
- Owen They have pictures of Wendy and Manny.
Those creeps are tryin' to start sex rumours to destroy their credibility.
(OWEN LAUGHS) Owen, there's more.
We got a heads up, there'll likely be an arrest warrant for Manny today or tomorrow.
But we'll let you know as soon as it's issued.
- (VOICE) For those pictures? - No, it's the Everly's.
None of us were photographed, but they've got some compromising photographs of Manny.
OFC.
RENO: We knew they'd come out, but they look more incriminating than we thought.
I feel so bad about this.
Manny, he's a great dude, he was just tryin' to help out.
His story's gonna get a lot of traction and attention.
But we can't come forward.
Manny's gonna have to take the heat on this.
OFC.
RENO: Wanted to tell you in person, safer than on the phone.
May have underestimated this Dallas Malcha.
He's hittin' back, and he's dumb.
Why don't you let me pay him a visit, Owen? I'd love to straighten him out.
(VOICE) No, need to warn Manny.
What're you gonna tell him? (VOICE) Cooperate with police investigation.
Thanks, Owen.
Thanks for the toffee.
(CAR RUMBLES) (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) - Oh, hey! - Cynthia.
- Guys, good to see you.
Bye.
- Bye, Cynthia.
Uh, thanks, I'll be out in a sec, okay? Owen! Daddy, I have to tell you something.
Hi, hon.
I just had the most amazing talk with Taylor about the good old days.
He tickled me and everything.
- We go back, me and him.
- Well, I will tell you what you should be talking to Taylor about.
Guys, can you get out? I have to speak to my father, it's something very important.
Thank you.
Okay, sit.
You should be talking to Taylor about the rumours - flying around here.
- Rumours? Yeah, the fallout from Cynthia's cereal.
People can't understand why Taylor would green-light - such an imminent failure.
- People? What people? The dummies down here in 4S.
Don't call it 4S, and I'm not a dummy.
And I haven't heard anything.
So what are these people saying? They're saying that maybe Cynthia offered Taylor some uh-uh favours in order to get her cereal into production.
- Favours? - Like sexual favours, Dad.
- Sexual.
- Mm-mm favours.
Ew, that doesn't that doesn't sound right.
- (PHONE RINGS) - It's not right.
(DOOR SHUTS) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) (GASPS) INTERCOM: Gary, line 1.
(HAPPY SIGHS) (CAMERA CLICKS) I work for the woman who invented this cereal.
It's our first day on the shelf.
- Ah! - Are you okay? (SHELLERS SCREAMING) Excuse me, there's something wrong with this lady.
Excuse me? - (OBJECTS THUD) - (SIGHS) - (RACCOON PURRS) - Brian! Brian! Brian! BRIAN: What? What? What? What? (RACCOON CHIRPS) - Whoa.
- I can't stay here.
I can't stay here.
Oh my god, I can't.
I'm just gonna take the money that I have left and I'm gonna go check into a hotel, and I'm gonna just eat out of the mini fridge, and just sit on the edge of the bed, and I'm gonna stare at the floor.
- And I can't stay here, Brian! - Relax! And I'm gonna spend like $40 on 3 chocolate bars, and that'll be a way better choice, Brian.
Look, relax, okay? There are animals in the walls.
I guess Don forgot a couple of pals.
- What are you talking about? - They're his friends.
- What? - We'll switch rooms, I'll call Don, he'll take care of those guys.
This isn't my life.
This is my life.
- My life is better than this.
- Don't go.
Don't go to a hotel.
My life is my own house, my own boyfriend, and me not sitting on the floor with like cat things - in the walls, Brian! - Get a grip, Wendy.
Stay.
It'll get better, okay? I'll help you in any way I can.
I'm making poutine tonight? Yeah, I'm really hungry.
Can you also make floats? (BRYCE HONKING, U2 SONG PLAYING) Here we are! (MUSIC STOPS, DOOR OPENS AND SHUT) All right, girls, let's use this time to get you peed out.
Let's go.
Come on.
Good girl.
Come on, good girl.
Good girl.
Okay.
(STRETCHER CLATTERS) Seriously? I'm fine.
I can't do this now.
Stop.
I'm not due for another two weeks.
Ma'am, calm down, you're gonna have this baby right now.
It's not scheduled.
Taking me to the hospital works for you, does it? Well, does pressing charges for assault work for you? You're going to the hospital, right now.
Where's my phone? Can somebody call Cynthia? If I have this baby, we'll know who's fault it is.
It's your fault.
CYNTHIA: Owen, look, Wheat Rock Drones.
- (PHONE RINGS) - Oh.
Uh, hello? I'm sorry, I can't understand you, there's a lot of yelling in the background? Oh God, is she okay? Okay, thank you.
Shellers went into labour in a grocery store, and they're taking her to a hospital right now.
Ah, I've gotta head over there right now.
I mean, I promised her.
Bryce.
Oh God, I can't go to U2.
I can't.
Bryce'll understand.
- (U2 PLAYING, DOOR SHUTS) - Finally! Bryce.
I have (U2 PLAYING) Hey, Bryce? Bryce.
Bryce, I have an emergency.
Shellers is in labour.
- Hey, that's awesome.
- No, just (MUSIC STOPS, WINDOW WHIRS) - No what? - Shellers needs me, okay.
I mean she has no family here.
The kid is coming out as we speak.
I've gotta go, she's having the baby right now.
Call the guy who knocked her up then.
I dunno.
Come on, we need to go right now.
Bryce, this is not gonna happen.
Could you please move your truck 'cause we gotta You don't get to just walk away like this, Cyn.
Bryce, I can't go to U2! No.
Get in the car.
Now! Are you even listening? Can you hear yourself? Seriously, can you hear yourself? You have 46 minutes left of my contingency time - to come to your senses.
- Contingency? I budgeted for horseshit like this.
Just get in, we can still make it.
- I'm not moving.
- You're not moving? Okay, Bono, check this out! (SLAMS HOOD) (HONKS HORN) Owen? Owen? (OWEN CLAPS) Oh, hey, I gotta go to the hospital to see Shellers.
I'm not going to U2.
I think I'm done with Bryce.
I gotta go.
I gotta go.
(HONKING) BRYCE: Oh yeah, just keep honking.
I'm not moving! Get used to it! We're still going.
She'll be out soon.
We'll still make it, we still got time.
Oh okay, he's still there.
(HORN HONKS) Can you please take of Bryce? I gotta go.
I (CLOSES DOOR) CYNTHIA: Oh, don't move your car, we're good there.
So you're gonna block me in, huh? Check this out, man.
BRYCE: Where are you going? - Elizabeth? (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) Après-vous.
(AIR KISS) Cyn! (CLOSES DOOR) Gimme a break! (VACUUM WHIRS) (TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES) (TURNS VACUUM OFF) (TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) (LOCK CLICKS) (MOTORCYCLE ENGINE ROARS) (CAR HONKS) OFFICERS: Stop! Hey! (ENGINE ROARS) (ENGINE ROARS) (WATER SPLASHES) (SIGHS) (PULLS ON HANDLE) (KNOCKS ON GLASS) (DOGS PANT) (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) I deserve an apology from her.
Or at least something.
I deserve to be treated better.
(VOICE) You can't fence her in.
That's what I love about her.
I guess that's what we both love about her.
She's unpredictable.
(DOG PANTS) Nah, I can't go by myself.
(VOICE) Go by yourself.
For yourself.
Even if I left now, I wouldn't make it in time.
I gotta get the dogs set up first, and I don't have a campsite yet.
(VOICE) I'll take dogs.
What? Come on.
Seriously? Um yeah, I'll arrange for my sister to come pick them up.
Thank you, Owen.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) (ENGINE RUMBLES) (PA ANNOUNCEMENT, WRAP RUSTLES) - Shellers! - Cyn.
Hi! Oh my God, she's beautiful! (BABY CRIES) (ENGINE RUMBLES) - Oh my gosh.
- She's two weeks early, but she's pretty cute.
Yeah! Whatever campsite you got closest to the stage.
I don't care how much.
MAN: There's 1 left in the last row for $400? Woo! Yeah! (BABY CRIES) - You're awesome.
- Thanks for coming, Cynthia.
Hey, can you call the police and tell them that I won't be pressing charges on the paramedics? Subtitle corrections by
I (THROWS UP) Oh my god.
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Oh.
- Here.
- Thanks.
You can tell me, what-what's wrong? Nothing is wrong, Dev, okay.
I just happened to be pregnant.
- You're pregnant? - Don't worry, it's not yours.
We are free and clear, Wendy.
We think the best way to go about all of this is a layoff.
Tidy.
- No job, nowhere to live.
- Come home, Wendy.
What I would love is to not live at home, and to not be fired.
I'm Dallas Fraser.
I'm a lawyer.
My client's truck was set on fire.
Look familiar? This looks like you're starting a fire.
VERN: I checked with Taylor, and he's cool with it in the awards showcase.
Taylor, I know you said never call you, but the Froot Loops jacket's missing.
Please please call me as soon as possible.
It's Vern.
I had some raccoons myself a few years back, so I know how to-just walk right away from me, like I'm not even here.
Just tryin' to meet my girlfriend's husband and man up.
He is so cold to me always.
(SPLASHING) Camping.
U2's doing some kinda campground show, like 6 hours away.
He's totally lost his mind, he's been planning it for months.
I should be back sometime midday tomorrow.
But I'm gonna take off Sunday and Monday because I wanna take you away somewhere.
(TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES) Okay, Shellers, she's at work.
She's not supposed to be at work today.
Okay, I gotta deal with this now.
This is Shellers.
DALLAS: Not Cynthia's line? - Yes, this is her office.
Oh great, can you put me through, please? No, she's not in yet, she might be in later this morning.
- What time should I expect? - Not sure yet.
Who's calling? A friend who needs to know what time she's in.
Uh huh.
Well, I just can't give out that information.
Cynthia, yeah she's a Cereal Exec here.
DALLAS: That predates July 8th.
- Yeah.
You cover the books for the exec memos too, right? Yes, it's the Town Car service for our executives.
- Can I ask who's calling? - One of the mechanics checking on an incident with the Town Car.
Oh uh yeah, sure, let me see, gimme a sec.
(KEYS CLACK) Yes, on the 8th she used three cars, one in the morning and two at night.
Uh, sorry, I didn't get your name.
- No, you didn't.
(HANGS UP) - Hello? TAYLOR: Come on, let's go.
Hey Taylor, what're you doing in? Exactly, and thanks for asking.
Do you have any idea how many hours I put in this week? 18 solid hours, this week alone.
I do not need to work like this, believe me.
Um, Taylor, you know the jacket? Are you kidding, Vern? The Froot Loops jacket is gone.
It's not gonna magically reappear, no matter how many times you ask me, 'cause it's been 15 times already, so get with the program, all right? - Do you like me, Taylor? - Oh, Vern.
Do I like you, Vern? Whadda you think? I love you, Vern.
You're my guy.
Fishing trips.
Those amazing numbers you hit in the 80's, remember that? - Yeah.
- Weren't those great times? We did that together 'cause you're a kickass guy, and I've loved ya ever since.
Don't let this office crap drive you crazy.
- I don't, I gave up on it.
- Okay.
- All right, buddy? - Okay.
Okay, buddy? Who's my buddy? - Who's my buddy? - Okay.
I'm tickly.
All right no, you like that? Who's my buddy? - I am! Okay.
- All right.
You kick some ask, okay? Kick some ass.
- Come on, Tic Tac.
- Hello? Yeah, I'm just waitin' in the driveway.
I can't wait here much longer.
We gotta get goin', we gotta go.
And I am so pumped, Cyn, I've been up since 5.
You ready? Bryce, didn't we say that we'd meet at my place at 11? I mean it's it's 9 right now, that's 2 hours early.
Um, I just need to go into the office to check on a few things, and then I can forget about work and No, no, you cannot go into work today, Cyn, I know you.
(DOG BARKS) Hey, hey, Molly! Come here! Molly! You can't go into work.
If you go in you will never get out of there.
- Molly, come on! - No, come on.
Come on, come on, let's get goin' girl.
If we don't get on the road now, it's gonna be all jammed up with honkies - and we won't get a site.
- Jammed up with honkies? - Where did you hear that? - I don't know I just heard it.
Look, there's 75 sites left, first come, first serve.
Hey you know, I got tonnes of points, we could get a hotel room, and you could leave the dogs with your sister.
That'd make life so much easier, man.
Camping is the whole idea.
That's outta the question.
I already told 'em they're coming.
Told who? The dogs? They don't know what you're talkin' about? Sure they do.
They pick up on my enthusiasm, they're so excited, they're expecting something awesome.
And you know what? So am I! Okay, I love awesome, love awesome.
Okay, Bryce, I will see you at 11 on the nose.
Look, Cyn, I booked this and it is so important to me, you are not going into work, not today.
(PHONES RING, LOW HUM OF CHATTER) Hey Shel, what're you doing here? You shouldn't be at work.
- Is Dev in? - Not yet.
Look, I feel better moving around, and I'm not due for at least another 2 weeks.
Please, just let me keep busy.
The ladies in Promotion are handling the launch today, and Dev's got the cats.
He'll take care of them.
He'll feed them and change the litter.
Okay, yeah, sure.
Hey, you stoked for sexy U2 camping with Bryce? Camping.
Bugs.
Ticks.
You know, drunk dudes listenin' to their tunes and peein' on trees.
- Gross.
- Exactly.
I'm kinda stressed about it, and I only really know just like a few U2 songs.
I mean I saw on Bryce's profile that he liked U2, so I, like a dummy, said that U2 was one of my favourite bands.
I see.
Well, why don't you just tell him? Oh, I can't.
No, every time he gets drunk he says things like "oh U2's my life.
U2 made me the man I am today," and like he starts to cry a little bit.
Wow.
You know, I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not a really big fan.
Well, I do like that song New Year's Day.
Oh yeah.
I know that one.
Shel, seriously, start your leave.
I will.
I will, I promise, but first I need to see Wheat Rock Drones.
Oh, I still hate that name.
On the shelf, with my own eyes.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, it's just my hormones are going crazy.
I just wanna see the cereal on the shelf, surrounded by people, just loving it.
I'm heading out to a random grocery store today, to take some snaps of the displays.
Then you're gonna relax, right? - (PHONE RINGS) - I find cereal very comforting.
- (PHONE RINGS) - Good afternoon, Exquisite Quality Bathroom.
Manny speaking.
DALLAS: Good afternoon, Manny, how are you today? Hello Mr.
Fraser.
You already recognize my voice.
- No, I know who you are.
- Need to let you know, my clients need another 10.
What, an additional $10,000 to bring the total to $60,000.
Wow, that's That's a lot of money.
Yeah.
Unless you rather we call the cops? No, sure, sure call the cops, yeah, please.
You know that would mean you'd find yourself Oh wait, just I don't wanna be rude (MANNY HANGS UP) It's strange being back here.
I can't stop thinking about the shooting.
Two years ago today, Midtown Trust hold-up.
Gun to a rookie's head.
He almost had that gun.
Almost.
Stop thinkin' about it, he's the same old guy.
Come on, let's do this.
(DOOR OPENS) Owen! (LAUGHS) (DOOR CLOSES) - (VOICE) Toffee? - No thanks.
- (VOICE) Toffee? - Okay.
(TOFFEE CRUNCHES) - Good to see ya, sir.
- Owen, we got a problem.
(VOICE) RV show this weekend.
- Food.
Beer.
You guys, wasted.
- Owen They have pictures of Wendy and Manny.
Those creeps are tryin' to start sex rumours to destroy their credibility.
(OWEN LAUGHS) Owen, there's more.
We got a heads up, there'll likely be an arrest warrant for Manny today or tomorrow.
But we'll let you know as soon as it's issued.
- (VOICE) For those pictures? - No, it's the Everly's.
None of us were photographed, but they've got some compromising photographs of Manny.
OFC.
RENO: We knew they'd come out, but they look more incriminating than we thought.
I feel so bad about this.
Manny, he's a great dude, he was just tryin' to help out.
His story's gonna get a lot of traction and attention.
But we can't come forward.
Manny's gonna have to take the heat on this.
OFC.
RENO: Wanted to tell you in person, safer than on the phone.
May have underestimated this Dallas Malcha.
He's hittin' back, and he's dumb.
Why don't you let me pay him a visit, Owen? I'd love to straighten him out.
(VOICE) No, need to warn Manny.
What're you gonna tell him? (VOICE) Cooperate with police investigation.
Thanks, Owen.
Thanks for the toffee.
(CAR RUMBLES) (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) - Oh, hey! - Cynthia.
- Guys, good to see you.
Bye.
- Bye, Cynthia.
Uh, thanks, I'll be out in a sec, okay? Owen! Daddy, I have to tell you something.
Hi, hon.
I just had the most amazing talk with Taylor about the good old days.
He tickled me and everything.
- We go back, me and him.
- Well, I will tell you what you should be talking to Taylor about.
Guys, can you get out? I have to speak to my father, it's something very important.
Thank you.
Okay, sit.
You should be talking to Taylor about the rumours - flying around here.
- Rumours? Yeah, the fallout from Cynthia's cereal.
People can't understand why Taylor would green-light - such an imminent failure.
- People? What people? The dummies down here in 4S.
Don't call it 4S, and I'm not a dummy.
And I haven't heard anything.
So what are these people saying? They're saying that maybe Cynthia offered Taylor some uh-uh favours in order to get her cereal into production.
- Favours? - Like sexual favours, Dad.
- Sexual.
- Mm-mm favours.
Ew, that doesn't that doesn't sound right.
- (PHONE RINGS) - It's not right.
(DOOR SHUTS) (LOW HUM OF CHATTER) (GASPS) INTERCOM: Gary, line 1.
(HAPPY SIGHS) (CAMERA CLICKS) I work for the woman who invented this cereal.
It's our first day on the shelf.
- Ah! - Are you okay? (SHELLERS SCREAMING) Excuse me, there's something wrong with this lady.
Excuse me? - (OBJECTS THUD) - (SIGHS) - (RACCOON PURRS) - Brian! Brian! Brian! BRIAN: What? What? What? What? (RACCOON CHIRPS) - Whoa.
- I can't stay here.
I can't stay here.
Oh my god, I can't.
I'm just gonna take the money that I have left and I'm gonna go check into a hotel, and I'm gonna just eat out of the mini fridge, and just sit on the edge of the bed, and I'm gonna stare at the floor.
- And I can't stay here, Brian! - Relax! And I'm gonna spend like $40 on 3 chocolate bars, and that'll be a way better choice, Brian.
Look, relax, okay? There are animals in the walls.
I guess Don forgot a couple of pals.
- What are you talking about? - They're his friends.
- What? - We'll switch rooms, I'll call Don, he'll take care of those guys.
This isn't my life.
This is my life.
- My life is better than this.
- Don't go.
Don't go to a hotel.
My life is my own house, my own boyfriend, and me not sitting on the floor with like cat things - in the walls, Brian! - Get a grip, Wendy.
Stay.
It'll get better, okay? I'll help you in any way I can.
I'm making poutine tonight? Yeah, I'm really hungry.
Can you also make floats? (BRYCE HONKING, U2 SONG PLAYING) Here we are! (MUSIC STOPS, DOOR OPENS AND SHUT) All right, girls, let's use this time to get you peed out.
Let's go.
Come on.
Good girl.
Come on, good girl.
Good girl.
Okay.
(STRETCHER CLATTERS) Seriously? I'm fine.
I can't do this now.
Stop.
I'm not due for another two weeks.
Ma'am, calm down, you're gonna have this baby right now.
It's not scheduled.
Taking me to the hospital works for you, does it? Well, does pressing charges for assault work for you? You're going to the hospital, right now.
Where's my phone? Can somebody call Cynthia? If I have this baby, we'll know who's fault it is.
It's your fault.
CYNTHIA: Owen, look, Wheat Rock Drones.
- (PHONE RINGS) - Oh.
Uh, hello? I'm sorry, I can't understand you, there's a lot of yelling in the background? Oh God, is she okay? Okay, thank you.
Shellers went into labour in a grocery store, and they're taking her to a hospital right now.
Ah, I've gotta head over there right now.
I mean, I promised her.
Bryce.
Oh God, I can't go to U2.
I can't.
Bryce'll understand.
- (U2 PLAYING, DOOR SHUTS) - Finally! Bryce.
I have (U2 PLAYING) Hey, Bryce? Bryce.
Bryce, I have an emergency.
Shellers is in labour.
- Hey, that's awesome.
- No, just (MUSIC STOPS, WINDOW WHIRS) - No what? - Shellers needs me, okay.
I mean she has no family here.
The kid is coming out as we speak.
I've gotta go, she's having the baby right now.
Call the guy who knocked her up then.
I dunno.
Come on, we need to go right now.
Bryce, this is not gonna happen.
Could you please move your truck 'cause we gotta You don't get to just walk away like this, Cyn.
Bryce, I can't go to U2! No.
Get in the car.
Now! Are you even listening? Can you hear yourself? Seriously, can you hear yourself? You have 46 minutes left of my contingency time - to come to your senses.
- Contingency? I budgeted for horseshit like this.
Just get in, we can still make it.
- I'm not moving.
- You're not moving? Okay, Bono, check this out! (SLAMS HOOD) (HONKS HORN) Owen? Owen? (OWEN CLAPS) Oh, hey, I gotta go to the hospital to see Shellers.
I'm not going to U2.
I think I'm done with Bryce.
I gotta go.
I gotta go.
(HONKING) BRYCE: Oh yeah, just keep honking.
I'm not moving! Get used to it! We're still going.
She'll be out soon.
We'll still make it, we still got time.
Oh okay, he's still there.
(HORN HONKS) Can you please take of Bryce? I gotta go.
I (CLOSES DOOR) CYNTHIA: Oh, don't move your car, we're good there.
So you're gonna block me in, huh? Check this out, man.
BRYCE: Where are you going? - Elizabeth? (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) Après-vous.
(AIR KISS) Cyn! (CLOSES DOOR) Gimme a break! (VACUUM WHIRS) (TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES) (TURNS VACUUM OFF) (TEXT MESSAGE CHIMES) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) (LOCK CLICKS) (MOTORCYCLE ENGINE ROARS) (CAR HONKS) OFFICERS: Stop! Hey! (ENGINE ROARS) (ENGINE ROARS) (WATER SPLASHES) (SIGHS) (PULLS ON HANDLE) (KNOCKS ON GLASS) (DOGS PANT) (DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS) I deserve an apology from her.
Or at least something.
I deserve to be treated better.
(VOICE) You can't fence her in.
That's what I love about her.
I guess that's what we both love about her.
She's unpredictable.
(DOG PANTS) Nah, I can't go by myself.
(VOICE) Go by yourself.
For yourself.
Even if I left now, I wouldn't make it in time.
I gotta get the dogs set up first, and I don't have a campsite yet.
(VOICE) I'll take dogs.
What? Come on.
Seriously? Um yeah, I'll arrange for my sister to come pick them up.
Thank you, Owen.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) (ENGINE RUMBLES) (PA ANNOUNCEMENT, WRAP RUSTLES) - Shellers! - Cyn.
Hi! Oh my God, she's beautiful! (BABY CRIES) (ENGINE RUMBLES) - Oh my gosh.
- She's two weeks early, but she's pretty cute.
Yeah! Whatever campsite you got closest to the stage.
I don't care how much.
MAN: There's 1 left in the last row for $400? Woo! Yeah! (BABY CRIES) - You're awesome.
- Thanks for coming, Cynthia.
Hey, can you call the police and tell them that I won't be pressing charges on the paramedics? Subtitle corrections by