Dempsey and Makepeace (1985) s01e09 Episode Script

There's a suspected break-in
at Winfield Hall.
Your daddy runs a stately home.
My father owns a stately home.
Friends in high places?
Define "high places", sir.
Has the Prime Minister
been known to drop in for tea?
- Not to my knowledge, no.
- Ah.
But certain members
of the Royal family do spend
the occasional weekend there.
Far from the madding crowd.
I have been asked No.
I have been ordered
to grant you leave of absence.
I'm sorry, I don't understand, sir.
Join the club, Makepeace.
Join the club.
Your father is, I believe,
a collector, right?
No, actually, it was my grandfather
who was the great collector.
He was one of those
true Victorian eccentrics.
On one occasion,
he travelled by camel.
Spare me the details, Sergeant.
Does your father
have in his possession
a collection of priceless,
antique jade artefacts?
Yes.
But actually, they're part of
a trust for tax purposes.
- Capital gains and
- They've been nicked.
And, quite naturally, your father
is anxious to effect their recovery.
As far as I'm concerned,
it's a case for the Yard's
art and antiques squad,
but I seem to be
in a minority of one.
So, off you go.
To do what, sir?
To sort it out, Sergeant.
To sort it out.
And take that Yank with you.
Tell him to keep that cannon of his
holstered.
We don't want complaints
from the palace, do we?
How are we doing?
Nearly there.
This is what I call
landed gentry country.
This is some estate.
Dates back to the Restoration.
Restoration of what?
Turn right there.
This looks like
some kind of historical place.
The family have owned this estate
since the Magna Carta.
You know, if I lived then,
I probably would have been
a knight in shining armour.
If you'd lived then, you'd have been
shining the armour, at night.
Touche.
Hey, Mary.
Harry! Why on earth
didn't you telephone?
I did!
Ah! You're as beautiful as ever.
You're a bit pale though, you know.
It's all that London.
The air's bad for you.
You should spend more time out here.
I've lots to talk to you about.
First of all, I want to know
all about that awful American -
that hoodlum, Dempsey,
they foisted on you.
Lieutenant James Dempsey,
Lord Winfield.
Oh, heh How do you do?
Wonderful to see you.
I hope you don't think I was
referring to you. Good Lord, no.
No, it was some other
frightful American.
Another Dempsey entirely. A gorilla.
Not like you at all. Good man.
Why did that man
carry our luggage through?
- It's customary.
- It is?
- If one is staying.
- Why is one staying?
This is my home.
- This is your what?
- My home.
And him?
He's my father.
Makepeace I'm gonna murder you.
Installed by the same firm
that safeguards the Crown Jewels.
Look at this.
Infrared beams, temperature alarms.
Pressure pads.
You weren't taking any chances, sir.
Well, the collection
is regarded as priceless.
Priceless, huh?
25 pieces of jade, Mr Dempsey.
Or, as we savants call it, nephrite.
Every piece dating back
to the Shang Yin Dynasty.
- Very old.
- How old?
The Shang Yin Dynasty lasted from
1760 BC till the 12th century BC.
That is old.
25 pieces, you said, sir?
Some countries would have
gone to war for less.
This expertise with
the cocktail shaker makes me believe
that all Americans
spend their lives behind bars.
Well, I've certainly
put a few people there.
But, actually, it was
a lady bartender from the Bronx
- that taught me her secrets.
- I'll bet she did.
- How do you like your martini, sir?
- Dry, Mr Dempsey. Very dry.
Well, you've been having
a lot of excitement around here.
- Which you seem to be thriving on.
- Frantic goings-on.
Moronic policeman clambering all
over the place, poking and prying.
Fingerprint powder everywhere,
absolute chaos.
The experts told me that they'd
taken up 33 sets of fingerprints.
It turns out that 17 of them
belong to the local constabulary.
Oh, Freddie.
And the other 16?
Who'd they belong to?
Myself and the staff. And guests.
- Guests? What guests?
- A small weekend party.
- How small?
- Some eight people in all.
And these guests,
they're still in the house?
Naturally.
And the local police,
they questioned them?
- Endlessly.
- Searched them?
Every nook and cranny.
Well, see, me, sir,
I need to know who these guests are.
- Harry, would you do it?
- Mm.
My secretary, Naismith,
has the list.
Hello, Naismith? It's Harry.
Er, Father would like the current
guest list. Would you bring it in?
Thank you.
Miss Harriet.
How delightful to see you back.
Hello, Naismith.
My lord, you requested, er
I beg your pardon, I had no idea.
Mr Gerald Naismith,
Lieutenant Dempsey.
How do you do, sir?
You requested a copy
of the guest list, my lord.
Will that be all, sir?
- Thank you, Naismith.
- Very good, my lord. Mr Dempsey.
Miss Harriet.
There's something about that man
I find totally repellent.
Harry.
There are three married couples.
Biffin and Esmeralda -
they're old friends.
She's a bit of a tippler.
Can't imagine either of them
as burglars.
And then there's
Selwyn and Prunella.
Selwyn turned up late,
had to attend a committee meeting
in the House of Lords.
And Prunella motored down
with an American couple,
Arnold and Susie Sims.
Selwyn met Arnold at some
function or other, took a shine,
and suggested they should come down
for the pheasant shoot.
Arnold fancies himself with a gun,
you know.
Squirrel's eye at 60 paces
and all that.
Probably wear a 'coonskin hat
at the shoot.
- That leaves
- Two.
Yes. Frances Trafford
and a gentleman from the Chinese
Embassy, Mr Ch'ien Cheng Tsu.
And, apart from a natural interest
in the jade,
I can't tell you very much
about him.
We'll check him out tomorrow.
- He worries me.
- Why is that?
I've only got his word
that he can handle a gun.
Well done, Mr Cheng.
First brace to you.
Do you see that fellow there?
That's Mr Jessop, my estate manager.
I thought he had a slipped disc.
Take more than a spinal problem
to keep Mr Jessop from a pheasant
shoot. He's extremely brave.
- Or foolish.
- He won the Military Cross.
- Where?
- Korean conflict.
- There it is again.
- What?
The Oriental connection.
In God's name,
what do you think you're doing?
I was about to shoot your father.
Sorry, but, like the man said -
it's open season.
Frances, how was your day?
Good bag?
Just a few near misses.
Wind and deflection, my dear.
Wind and deflection.
I need a little practice.
Oh, I doubt that.
Practice makes perfect, my dear.
- What did you think of her?
- Attractive woman.
Suspect number one?
Friend of the family?
- Or viper in the bosom.
- Ooh.
Great shoot, great shoot.
So, he showed more interest in the
guests than the pheasants, so what?
Listen, Susan. I'm trying to tell
you that the man needs watching.
Don't lecture me,
I'm not in the mood.
- A man for all seasons.
- He's a cold fish.
You mean he's resisted
your irresistible charms?
I worry about you, Arnold.
In developing your body,
I think you damaged your brain.
Gerald Naismith
is capable of anything.
How do you feel about the Chinese,
Mr Dempsey?
Prawn balls give me indigestion.
Excuse me.
Keep circulating.
And, in the meantime,
you'll be doing what?
Well, I'll be keeping my eye on,
er
- I can guess who.
- Right.
I've got to talk to you.
- Nice party, sir.
- Thank you.
- Oh.
- To your health.
How do you find the the
Oh, how strange.
- You OK?
- Yes, of course I am.
Funny feeling, sort of underwater
Oh
Hey, hey, hey. Here, sit down.
Is there anything I can do?
Yes, er, get me something
to cool him off.
I've been attending your father for
more years than I care to remember.
But I've never prescribed anything
that could possibly
have induced this condition.
- Do you mean he's drugged?
- That's my diagnosis.
- As in a Mickey Finn?
- You're the detectives.
How will it affect him?
Will he be all right?
His heartbeat is a trifle irregular,
but that will steady up
as he comes out of the coma.
His blood pressure's fine.
Mind you, he'll have one hell
of a hangover when he comes round.
Apart from that, he'll live.
Keep an eye on him,
watch his breathing.
If there is any change,
call me, all right?
Thank you, Doctor Potter.
Do you mind?
Your father drank a glass of
champagne that was intended for me.
- What we do now?
- We wait.
For what?
For something or someone to come
crawling out of the woodwork.
What was it the local police said?
Er, they had roadblocks set up
within four minutes of the alert.
- That argues an inside job.
- It's gotta be.
The jade's probably
still in the house.
Or on the grounds.
Naismith boosts
to number-one position.
Do we start leaning on him?
Not yet. Let him make his next move.
Then we'll lean on him.
Harry, sorry to disturb you. We're
all terribly worried about Freddie.
- How is he?
- He's fine.
Sleeping soundly.
And, er out of danger.
Oh, that's splendid.
Well, er, good night.
Naismith's talking to
Frances Trafford.
Naismith does a lot of talking.
Keep your ear to the door.
I know every sound in this house.
Every creak in every floorboard.
- Anybody moves, I'll know.
- Well, that's great.
I may not be jungle-trained
in Vietnam, but I do have ears.
Well, that's a fact.
- Something on your mind?
- God, I'm so scared.
- Sleeping pills.
- Yes.
- Vodka.
- I never travel without it.
It's a lethal combination, lady.
I have trouble sleeping.
Is there something I can do to help?
Naismith says you're a detective.
Has Naismith
got some to do with this?
You hear what I said?
Is there something
you wanna tell me?
My husband, Richard.
He was an archaeologist.
He wanted to be known, to be famous.
He wanted that desperately.
To such an extent
that he was prepared to cheat.
And none of that
was reflected in his reports.
He spoke of wonderful things
coming to light, of new discoveries.
And then he contracted typhoid
and died.
I was staying here at the time.
Naismith couldn't have been
more kind, more considerate.
You had an affair with him.
Yes.
My husband's effects were sent home,
these included his diary.
It was all there.
You showed this diary to Naismith?
He took it. For safekeeping.
And sexual blackmail.
And now?
And now?
I don't know.
Don't go, please!
I'm so frightened. I'm shaking.
Try and get a good night's sleep.
You're a great help, Mr Dempsey!
A great help.
Lock the door behind me.
Frances Trafford is dead.
I found her body
floating in the lake.
Oh, my God.
- Did you see anything?
- No. I heard something, I
- I didn't see a thing.
- I'm going to phone Spikings.
No! Not yet.
Why not?
Because first, we're gonna
lean on Naismith. Where's his room?
Now, just a minute, Dempsey.
I resent the way
you're ordering me around
my own house. This is my territory.
What are you hollering?
- You'll wake up the whole castle.
- Shh!
Let's get him down.
- His sleeves are wet.
- There's mud on his shoes.
These aren't fingernail scratches.
This worm killed Frances Trafford.
He was into more dirt
than I figured.
The killer was obviously
looking for something.
I want you to work under
the assumption that he was
- disturbed before we found him.
- If it's there, I'll find it.
Go over this place inch by inch,
use your imagination.
I'll remember to look under the bed.
And under the floorboards and behind
the wallpaper and in the toilet
if you have to. I mean
search this place! Are you with me?
Unfortunately, I seem to be.
Could be on the body.
You'd better search that, too.
- If you need me
- You'll be where?
Playing Chinese chequers.
Mr Cheng.
I could have sworn I saw somebody
heading for this room.
- Not here.
- What'd you find?
Nothing.
Loads of papers, but nothing.
- You search every inch of this place?
- Yes.
- You search this?
- Yes!
Would you please
be careful with this?
This piece of furniture has been
in my family for generations.
I know, since the Restoration.
Anyone with half an eye
could recognise this as Victorian.
Yeah, and any policeman
with 20-20 vision might see this
as a piece of vital evidence.
- I was just about to look there.
- I'm sure.
These are copies
of Interpol crime sheets.
Any names?
Yes, Hoffman. Harold Hoffman.
Doesn't ring any bells.
It will when we put it through
the CRO. Do it right away.
- Tonight?
- No, I mean today.
- That doesn't give me much time.
- For what?
I suppose bed
is out of the question?
Makepeace,
you choose the weirdest times.
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
Have you been out of the house,
uh, this evening?
For a short time, yes.
I find it difficult to sleep
in strange bed.
Two people died tonight.
- Died?
- That's right.
Frances Trafford
and Gerald Naismith.
They've both been murdered.
You didn't hear anything?
No.
Apart from
the screech of a night owl
and that infernal peacock, nothing.
I'll say good night, then.
If I can be of any assistance,
please don't hesitate to ask.
Well, if I could
make an observation, sir?
- Please.
- Your book?
- Yes?
- It's upside down.
- Inscrutable.
- Is he on your list of suspects?
Sure. Anything on Hoffman
and those Interpol crime sheets?
- Not yet, we're still working on it.
- Still working on it, sure.
Now, listen, Dempsey.
You were sent down here
to effect the recovery
of some priceless antiques.
And suddenly we've got
two dead bodies on our hands.
- The situation
- Let me try again.
Are you in any danger
of recovering the jade?
Right now,
the jade is just the bait.
I'm looking for a killer
and I intend to find him, or her.
- Can I depend on that?
- Yeah, you can.
The stuff you asked for
is in the boot of the car.
This morning, I was down
at the local coroner's office.
They're in a bit of a panic.
You remember the old adage,
"sufficient unto the day"?
Well, let's have
no more depopulation,
- if you see what I mean.
- I'll bear it in mind.
- Let me get that.
- Do you mind?
- Just stopped for little swim?
- Yeah!
- How's the water?
- It's lovely!
That water's freezing cold.
That's just how I like it.
My wife's at home in the water,
Dempsey. Do you, uh
Do you care to join her?
No, I'm safer on old terra firma.
The more firmer, the less terror.
Well Well, she's safe enough
with me around.
Well, when I decide to go swimming,
I'll let you know.
Yes, do.
What I do if you don't
come out of the lake alive?
Call my mother. Can I have my hood?
And tell her what?
Makepeace, just go back
to the house and call Spikings.
OK. It's your funeral.
Right. Can I have my fins?
You may feel it's necessary
to take this kind of risk
My mask?
but you may spare a thought
for the people you leave behind.
Makepeace. Shut up.
Go jump in the bloody
Harry, the telex
has just come through.
Hoffman is an alias.
He's well-known in America.
He's on the Most Wanted list.
Only he's known there
as Arnold Sims.
Arnold Sims?
Well, well, well.
Right, Sam.
Better go fishing for Dempsey.
'Harry?'
Makepeace?
Play hero, Dempsey,
and the lady gets hurt.
Sorry. He took me by surprise.
Hoffman, that is.
What do you say, Dempsey?
You wanna hear her scream?
Knowing the lady, Hoffman,
that might take a lot of prodding.
I want you to clean the cylinder and
throw the piece in the fireplace.
One mistake on your part
and the little lady gets skewered,
just like her other friend.
- You better believe me.
- I believe you.
I'm dumping the chamber.
I'm losing the gun.
I wanna see the jade.
Now, facedown on the floor.
Spread-eagle.
Thanks for saving me the trouble,
Dempsey.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
Hoffman!
I don't wanna have to kill you.
Let's call it a day, hey?
Whoa!
Watch out!
Makepeace.
Agh!
Yargh!
James, I hope you'll
come and visit us again soon.
Get away from that
metropolitan pollution.
Thanks. Work permitting,
I'll think about that.
- Goodbye, my darling.
- Bye, Daddy. Take care of yourself.
I'll be down as soon as I can.
Mr Dempsey.
I owe you a deep apology.
Case of mistaken identity.
I think I prefer
old-world English hospitality.
You Americans play rough.
Well, you play pretty good yourself.
The jade will now accompany me
back to China.
Its rightful home.
You see, Mr Dempsey, our government
make agreement with Lord Winfield
to return jade to Chinese people.
Unfortunately,
Mr Naismith learned of this.
The rest is history.
We gotta roll.
I guess you're just gonna
have to come to terms with it.
With what?
No longer being a wealthy heiress.
You'll always have something
to look forward to.
- Like what?
- Your policewoman's pension.